Will They Ever Be Happy Together?

[Guest]

Type of story:= Long Fiction

Rating: T

Main Characters: Nicole and Aden

Genre: Drama/ Romance/ Angst/ A mixture Romance/amixture

Warnings: Any content you feel needs a warning: ie. Violence, sexual content, coarse language etc.

Is Story being proof read: No

Summary: Briefly summarise your story (5 lines max).Nicole gets with Aden

Chapter 1

Nicole Franklin had just arrived in the bay she was looking for her father Roman.

While looking for her dad she runs into Aden Jeffies.

"Oh" I'm sorry"Said Nicole

"Thats ok"Replied Adem

"I'm looking for someone"Replied Nicole

"Maybe I can help you"Replied Aden

"Thanks but I can manage on my own"Replied Nicole

"I'm sure you can but I could use some company" Replied Aden

"Well ok"Replied Nicole

"I'm Aden"Replied Aden

"I'm Nicole"Replied Nicole

"So who are you looking for?" Aked Aden

"My dad Romas Harrison"Replied Nicole

"I know him he tried to help me before my accident"Replied Aden

"What accident?" Asked Nicole

"I was in Summer Bay's old diner and the rest fall on me"Replied Aden

"So who are you living with?"Asked Nicole

"I'm living with your Dad Nicole"Replied Aden

"So Will be living in the same house?"Asked Nicole

"Yes"Replied Aden

Nicole was silent for a while and Aden decided to break the silence.

"So what year are you in at school?" Asked Aden

"I'm in year 11"Replied Nicole

"Oh cool"Replied Aden

"What year are you in?"Asked Nicole

"I'm in Year 12"Replied Aden

Aden and Nicole walked in silence until they got to Roman's house.

"Roman are you here?"Aden asked

"He must still be at work"Said Nicole

"I think he is"Replied Aden

Morag comes into the room.

"Who's this? Morag asked Aden

"She's Roman's Daughter"Replied Aden

Nicole stands up.

"Hi I'm Nicole I'm Roma's daughter as Aden just told you"Said Nicole

Morag leaves the house.

"Hey do you want to play strip poker" Asked Aden

"Sure"replied Nicole

Next Time

Will Morag or Roman catch Nicole and Aden playing strip poker?

Will Roman be happy his daughter found him?

[jack+martha=trooluvv]

Hey it's pretty good, love the Nicole/Aden thing.

But personally I think you need less dialogue and more description

Apart from that, great.