Way I Loved You

[Georgia]

Story title: Way I Loved You

Type of story: One shot

Main characters: Belle, Jake, Aden and Susan

BTTB rating: Probably T

Genre: Romance

Does this story include spoilers: No

Any warning: Contains reference to death

Summary: Just read and find out I don't want to spoil it...

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it’s like

I couldn’t ask for anything better

I slide the silky blue dress over my head, and sigh as the fabric caresses my skin. I grab the matching jacket from the wooden chair in the corner of the room, and fling it over my shoulder, before quickly applying a layer of lip gloss, trying to soften up my chapped lips. He’s coming to pick me up, for another date...

I walk slowly down the stairs, a frown set on my face. I’m not looking forward to tonight... it isn’t the same. He’s not Aden, my heart doesn’t jump into my mouth every time I see him, and my hands don’t go all clammy when he smiles at me.

Jake... he’s just a distraction... someone to drag my attention away from all the pain in my heart. Jake’s just a fling, although I can see deeper emotion developing in his eyes, he means nothing to me.

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine...

Irene smiles at me as I walk outside, and Annie does a cheerful little wave, neither of them noticing that my eyes are welling up with tears at the thought of another night out with Jake.

He’s waiting in the car, hair arranged perfectly as usual, and the radio already switched to my favourite station; lilies sitting in my seat, waiting for me to smell them, and force a smile onto my face

“Hey Belle”, he says enthusiastically, and I smile at him, not trusting myself to speak. He carries on as though I am fully involved in the conversation. “I’ve booked a reservation in Yabby Creek”, he explains, expecting me to jump around with excitement

“That’s nice”, I whisper softly, and murmur my agreement every time Jake pauses for breath. I want to tell him to be quiet, so that I can listen to the radio, but his voice is overwhelming, so I sit in silence... listening to my thoughts.

“Belle, come on... I have reservations at the diner”, Aden grumbled, already ready to leave

“We know the owners of the diner Aden, it’s not like they’re going to kick us out because we’re late”, I chuckled, smiling at the man that had captured my heart

“You’re hilarious”, he said sourly, and I ran quickly down the stairs and into his arms, kissing the frown off his face

“You look amazing”, he mumbled huskily when our lips had finally parted. “It was worth the wait” he admitted, his eyes looking me up and down as a smile spread across his face

“Come on slow poach... we have reservations”, I reminded him, grabbing his hand, and pulling him to the door, laughing as he got caught up in my enthusiasm

“What are you smiling at?” Jake asks, jolting me from my memories

“Just something that happened a very long time ago”, I whisper, and then shut my mouth; no amount of coaxing from Jake is enough to make me talk again.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it’s 2am and I’m cursing your name

You’re so in love that you act insane

And that’s the way I loved you...

The car rolls to a stop, and I look around in shock, not realizing that we were already at the restaurant

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost”, Jake exclaims, before laughing at his own joke... something that I had always hated.

“No, I just didn’t realize we would be here so soon”, I interrupted the loud laughter, my stubborn streak coming out in full force

“You seem a bit distant tonight...” Jake hinted, trying to pry into my head, to understand my emotions, to get closer to me.

“I just got a blast from the past today, that’s all”, I explained, blinking back the tears that were threatening to overflow

“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m here”, Jake said soothingly, and I smiled at him, grateful that I had someone here for me. It was the first time in four years that someone had actually cared for me, wondered about the reasons behind my silences, and even though I didn’t want to share, it was a nice feeling.

“Thanks”, I whispered, “it’s nice to have someone here for me”

Jake smiled, and got out of the car, before walking around and opening my door, holding out of his hand, and helping me out of the car.

Breaking down and coming undone

It’s a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that’s the way I loved you...

Jake clasps my hand tightly as we walk into the restaurant, Jake keeping up the conversation single handily.

Every now and then, I try and pay attention, but my mind keeps drifting back to the worst day of my life...

“Babe, I’ve been offered a full scholarship to the USA, to play rugby”, Aden exclaimed, as soon as he walked in the door

“That’s great”, I screamed, and threw myself at him, ignoring the nagging feeling at the back of my head... I didn’t want to go to America

“I’m leaving in two weeks”, he crowed in my ear, and I smiled at his enthusiasm, before the words registered in my head

“Two weeks?” I pulled back, and looked at Aden’s face, examining his eyes

“Yeah, and I was hoping you would come with me”, Aden said quietly, his enthusiasm dropping, as his posture turned serious

“But my whole life is here... our whole life is here”, I mumbled, the tears already pricking at my eyes

“I have to take this opportunity Belle...” Aden trailed off, tears pricking at his eyes as well

“So, do you want to share a pizza?” Jake asked, knowing that I always had a craving for the greasy take-away food

“Of course”, I whispered, staring at my menu, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Aden had stayed true to his word, and left for America, leaving me behind. We hadn’t tried the long distance thing... it never seemed to work out.

Aden had promised to keep in touch, but after three months, his new career had become more enticing that the ex-girlfriend in Australia, waiting at her computer for the e-mail that never came.

“Is it Aden?” Jake asked, and I felt regret surge through my body... I shouldn’t have shared my sordid past with Jake, as he was always trying to interpret my silences

“Yeah... I just received some news about him today, and it made me think about the end of our relationship”, I explained, trying to keep it light, and hide the pain that I was really feeling

“Look”, Jake sighed, “if tonight isn’t a good time for you... we can always reschedule”

“No, I’m over it now. You’ve got all my attention”, I assured him, hating the thought of going home to Irene and Annie

The conversation picked up again, and Jake seemed happy, and a small part of me felt happy as well. It wasn’t the same kind of feeling as being with Aden, but there was no way I was ever going to recapture that again, so why not settle for a little bit of happiness?

He respects my space

And never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will...

The dinner flies by, and Jake drives me home, walking me to the door, and kissing me softly on the lips, before promising to call me tomorrow.

I walk inside, and sigh with relief, as I see that Annie and Irene have already gone to bed. I switch off my mobile phone, not wanting the interruption of Jake’s phone call early the next morning.

I walk to the couch, grabbing the letter that came through the mail today, and sitting on the couch.

I slowly open the envelope, the tears already rolling down my cheeks, as I re-read the words that I have already memorised.

Dear Belle,

I know that you don’t know me, but I feel like I know you. Aden talked such much about the stubborn, sarcastic, beautiful photographer who was his first love. I felt like I had to tell you this; Aden wouldn’t have wanted you to find out on the news or anything.

Aden was driving home late last night... he had to run to the store to buy me ice-cream (stupid pregnancy cravings), and a drunk driver hit him head on. He died on impact... he felt no pain, so that’s the one thing we can be thankful for.

Belle, I want you to know that Aden spoke of you with respect, and deep rooted love. You changed his life, and he always regretted not getting back in touch. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making Aden the man he was.

I know that you loved him as well, and it will have come as a shock to hear that he’s gone, but if you ever need a holiday, or a place to call home, you’re welcome to come and stay with me... I’ll need all the help I can get. Aden’s left me with this baby growing inside of me, and I’m scared, and I’m guessing you are too. I don’t know

how to live in a world where Aden doesn’t, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way.

Feel free to get back into touch,

Susan Jefferies (Aden’s wife)

I threw the letter onto the couch, not watching as it fluttered to the ground. I wrote a quick note to Irene and Annie, and asked them to apologise to Jake, leaving Susan’s letter next to my note as an explanation.

I ran into my room, and grabbed my bags, which were already packed, and walked outside.

Aden had a wife, who was pregnant... and she needed help. For some reason, I felt the need to drop everything to help this woman who I never met. We only had one common bond... our love for Aden Jefferies.

I jumped into my small blue car, and drove myself to the airport... desperate to help Aden Jefferies widow, for as long as she wanted me there.

I finally had a purpose in my life... a reason to wake up in the morning.

He can’t see the smile I’m faking

And my heart’s not breaking

Cause I’m not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating intoxicating

Complicated, got away by some mistake...

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