I Am Me

[tessalove]

Story title: I Am Me

Type of story: One-shot, Song fic

Main characters: Mainly Nicole, With metions of Geoff, Ruby, Belle, Aden and Indi

BTTB rating: T-A

Genre: Drama, Despair, love

Spoilers: Nopes

Warnings: Mentions of death and suicide

Summary: Nicole is outcasted, she want everything back, and the love of her life.

Song is I am me, by Tessa James Link--- http://www.twentysix.com.au/listen07.html

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I have nothing! She has everything I always wanted. If only I’d acted sooner, I would be like her, all loved up. But I’m not I’m sat here all alone watching them.

They don’t even notice me anymore, they used to be my best friends, and He was the love of my life. And now it’s all a distant memory.

What has she got that I don’t have?

What do you see in her?

Why leave me now and not before?

Can’t you see it hurts?

I don’t have anything anymore, Why do I even bother? One person in this town likes me, Indigo Walker, Truthfully I can’t see why, I tried to get her dad in bed, But she has a big heart, She forgave me for everything, She’s a better person than me, that’s for sure. I tell her everything, how much I miss him, how much I almost hate Ruby for having him, how much I wish I could just go back and change everything, I screwed things up, I wish I still had my perfect life with Geoff Campbell, the way things were before. Back to when we first fell in love on the Island. I want him so bad.

You don’t know what you’re missing here

You fell right on the floor

Why say hello and not goodbye?

Come on what you waiting for?

I wish he still talked to me, I used to be able to pour my heart out to him, and he would listen, he would comfort me, But now I’m like a ghost to him, he looks straight through me sometimes. I wish he would accept me again; I’m a better person now. I’ve changed, I feel like screaming at him sometimes, And ruby she’s just as bad, She walks past me and screws her face up, I smile at her and I can see her laughing inside as if I’m some sort of pathetic stalker. I was her best friend at one point and now I’m nothing. I just wish I didn’t have to see them, I wish I could find a new fresh breath of air, and I’d be cleansed of everything I feel.

I’m breathing you out out out,

Not breathing you in in in.

Not taking me down, and out

Why do they ignore me? This whole town does, Except Indi, I remember when I was a loved member of this town, I talked to everyone, and they all liked me, But when my dad left, I fell apart, It wasn’t my fault, I was hurting, I did some stupid things, but everyone in this town has at one point, and they all have been forgiven. What’s so wrong with me? I’m just a normal girl, who everyone loved, Geoff loved me, he told me he did, how could he just turn his feeling off like that? I was his girlfriend, and the next minute I wasn’t, I was just like garbage on the street. I just can’t believe this is all happening, I cry every night, Not even the people I live with like me, They just put up with me because me Dad asked them too, My best friend left town, His wife passed on, We became so close at the end of her life, She forgave me, but I suppose I went of the rails even more after she passed, I loved her! I wear her necklace everyday, Many people look in disgust at me, But I don’t care, I just want to be close to her, even though I never was. I wish Aden would get in contact I could join him, No one wants me hear, I thought of all people he would want my company, But i guess not, he thinks the same as everyone else, I’m just some girl, that wants everyone, Wants the attention and everyone to fuss about her, but I don’t. I just wish someone cared.

I’m not just some girl, I am me

I’m everything and more than I’m suppose to be

I’m not some dumb girl I can see who you really are

This day is getting worse, I can’t take this anymore, I see everyone look down there noses at me each and everyday, I have to put up with watching Ruby and Geoff looking all loved and happy and all over each other every second of the day. I can’t take it. I make my way to jump rock, I sit there crying to myself, Why can’t I just have Geoff, He must know I still love him, I told him many times I do. I look at him everyday, praying that he’ll just turn his attention to me, but it fails. I’m sitting here now alone as usual, no one knows where I am, no one cares, I just want to jump and leave it all behind. Leave my life behind, where no one accepts me for who I am. I stand on the edge, I lift a foot, But I’m startled, and I fall, I wasn’t going to do it, but I’m gone, Someone screamed my name, I finally grab onto a piece of the cliff, but I can’t hold on for much longer, I hear the ocean below me beating of the rocks.

You’re so far away from everything I know

Everything I need

Everything I am

I am me, I am me.

I look up Geoff’s hanging over the rock, I love you I scream.

Hold on! He scrams back, but I know I can’t, I can feel my fingers slipping, They give out and once again I’m plummeting to the bottom, I open my eyes one more time, I see Geoff coming down, He’s falling to, I try to scram but I can’t, I’m lying on a rock the water splashing all over me, I can’t move. The last thing I remember from earth is watching Geoff falling towards me, He followed me. And now were together, Not in the way I would have liked, There’s so many what ifs now, what if he didn’t scare me?, what if he just told me how he felt? What if?

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