Red Wine

[furrylogic]

So, I wrote Red Wine for the third Fan Fiction Challenge, and after some of the reviews, I found that many people (Mainly JM lovers) found it a little unbelievable, while others believed it needed more than just what was there. So I've written more. Basically its a prologue, but it turned into a little story of its own. So here it is... part one of Red Wine. I'd love some honest reviews, as long as people keep an open mind about the pairing...

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Red Wine

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His laughter rang though my ears as the blinding lights came from all directions, to quick for either of us to react.

“Lucas!” Came the painful cry from my lips, as I felt my body be thrown forward sharply against the dashboard of our car.

Then darkness.

Squinting, I felt my head throbbing as I tried, and failed, to open my eyes fully. My body ached from head to toe, and I heard a quiet beeping of machines, a gentle rhythmic humming beside me, as I groaned and prayed for this excruciating pain to disappear. My eyes caught glimpses of bright neon lights, which only worsened the pain that was flowing all over my body… that aching that just seemed to grow and grow and grow.

“Mattie.” I heard a faint voice beside me, and I tried to speak but nothing came out. A hand grabbed mine and gave it a tight squeeze. But it felt unfamiliar. The skin calloused, rough, not smooth and soft like Luke’s was.

“Mattie.” The voice was soothing, gentle, trying desperately to calm my fears. But all I could think about was Luke, and those flashing lights. Those hunting screams. Had they been mine or his? Had the voice that pierced my mind behind the blinding headache belonged to him?

Was he gone?

“Luke…” I managed to gasp out “I… need… Luke.” I cried the wet tears falling steadily down my cheeks.

A bang in the background, a door slamming shut.

“Matilda.” A female voice, smooth and slick, said to me. “Matilda I need you to calm down.” Her voice was strained, which only furthered my fears.

“Luke.” My raspy voice continued “Luke.”

“Lucas is fine.” She said, her voice moving closer. My eyes were squeezed shut, and I had begun to rely on my other senses to know what was going on. But I needed to know. I needed to look into those eyes and see the truth.

Fighting every growing bruise, every ache that told me to lie still, I slowly opening my eyes, blinking in the severe light that overwhelmed the one sense I had ignored. Blinking, my eyes slowly adjusted themselves to the plain, stark surroundings of the room I was situated in. For the first time I smelt the distinct aroma of a hospital. Clean, sterile. Death.

Jack sat hunched over my bed, his hand gripping tightly to mine, while Martha sat dutifully by his side, looking worriedly at him, her brow furrowed with fear and anxiety.

Rachel, Doctor Matthews stood at the end of my bed, her eyes flicking between my white charts and my broken body, refusing to meet my tear stained eyes.

“What about Luke?” I asked, my voice hard through the strain.

All eyes fell on me, and I was met with silence.

-

Trapped, gasping for air, I pull for something, anything, but come up empty handed. Again.

"Luke." I whisper, straining my neck to try and look beside me, but all I can see is his frail form crumpled over the steering wheel, broken, torn in two. His blonde hair crimson, his sparkling eyes closed, as if he were in a peaceful sleep… leaving me in hell.

"Luke," I called, pulling my arms out and reaching out for him… "Luke," I sobbed, the tears streaming down my face.

"Oh Luke." I cried.

The pillow was wet from my tears, but I refused to lift my head. Because his eyes would not be there to meet my own.

Sighing, I rolled over and found myself looking into the tired eyes of Jack Holden. He looked old, worn, and his eyes gave way to gateways of pain and suffering that a thirty-two year old should not have felt.

Yet he managed to show a glint of a smile for me… a promise that even when the darkness was overwhelming, the glimmer of hope still shone through.

"Mattie," He said gently, taking my hand in his as he had done so often in recent weeks "There’s news."

And suddenly my heart was racing, and my stomach churning in anticipation. I’d spent weeks laying here, the thoughts of that night ticking slowly and slowly through my brain, the continuos memories of a night I’d willed myself to forget… the images of his lifeless body haunting me.

I’d spent weeks waiting to hear those words.

Jack’s hand quivered in my own, and I felt his grip tighten. Pulling back, I looked deeply into his brown eyes; searching the orbs of darkness for that glimmer of hope his smile had offered only moments before.

"Jack,’ I asked softly, my voice appealing to his sense of humanity, hoping that he would just tell me, so I could let the pain envelope me once more. ‘Jack please,’ I cried, willing the tears to stop cascading down my pale cheeks to stop, willing my strength to return to me once more. "What happened Jack?"

His hand reached out to my chin, lifting my head gently up so my eyes looked directly into his own. His hand cupped my face tenderly, the pad of his thumb moving across my cheeks, wiping away the tears that were falling.

I realised this tears were forming in his own eyes, and was struck with a sense of utter panic and bewilderment. What would I do without him? How could I go on living knowing he was gone? My body became wracked with sobs I was unable to control, but his soothing voice called to me.

"He woke up Mattie. He’s awake."

[furrylogic]

Thanks for the feedback, its much appreciated Here is part two, I hope you enjoy it! Its a little shorter, but meh.

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I clutched nervously at my sides as I walked slowly down the bright hallway. I couldn’t help but feel as if I was a prisoner, shamed, taking my final walk down the green mile… freedom was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. For months I’d been trapped behind the dark curtain that had enveloped my soul. My only solace was Luke, he had been my angel and saviour in my time of need… yet where was he now? Lying in a bed, his body weakened by mere mortal weapons. This wasn’t the man I loved, he was but a fragment of

the man he had once been.

Another hand held my own tightly. It supported my weight, and would never let me fall. His firm grip was a comfort, as if, if I looked further, I could see them man that Luke would grow to be.

That Luke would have grown to be.

Finally, we stopped.

"Mattie" His angelic voice said from beside me "He’s weak, disoriented. Doesn’t know how long he’s been out for, or what happened that night…" As he spoke, I imagine he believed himself talking to my sixteen-year-old self, not the twenty-six year old woman I had grown to be.

"Jack" I said lightly, firmly, taking my hand from his grip and touching his shoulder gently, letting the dark thoughts rush out of me as I steadied my breathing. "I know." I said, sighing, looking away from his intense gaze, that had come to remind me more and more of Luke’s. "All I really want…" I said finally, pushing the door open a little "is to be in his arms."

His gaze was on me, I could tell, but I ignored the shudders that ran down my spine.

This was about Luke; the mantra ran through my head once more. This is always about Luke.

-

"How is he today?" Jack asked as he handed me a coffee before taking up the seat beside me.

Closing the magazine, my attention now fully focused, I turned to him and studied his look. It was as if he knew what I was going to say.

"It’s a bad day." I replied, knowing full and well that Jack needed no more of an explanation.

"Oh Mattie." Came his sympathetic reply, arm one arm fell instinctively around my shoulder, a brother hugging his baby sister.

I felt myself give in to that hug. And the temptation that it offered. I didn’t need to be the strong one for once. I didn’t need to radiate positively in the hopes that it would finally gain a smile. I didn’t need to be the one to feel old before their time.

"Its just not fair." I sobbed into his shirt, as his arm moved tighter around me, taking me into his circle of goodness and hope. "None of this has ever been fair… on any of us," I added, because the lights hadn’t just haunted me once in my lifetime. Because there had been lights before. Blinding lights so bright that my head, and my heart, still ached when I thought of them. Of what they meant.

"He made sure that of that." I snarled towards the heavens, before Jack caught my face with his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes once more.

"We all grew old before our time." He said gently, his hands caressing my chin soothingly. "But you took it all in, and didn’t let it change you," he continue, his voice haunting as the memories came flooding back. "You still grew up to be that stunning woman everyone knew you would. You grew up Mattie, and you made them proud. You have to know that!" He cried his eyes locked on mine.

"Why did they have to die?" I cried finally, breaking down in his arms once again.

Why?

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[furrylogic]

Thanks for the fantastic reviews! I'm so glad people are enjoying this story. Don't worry, everything will be explained (to some degree) eventually.

SKYKAT, I can assure you, I'm working on something for the challenge, which I hope people will enjoy... and understand.

Here is part three of Red Wine though.

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He took me outside that day. Took me to the little bench in the lush green gardens behind the hospital. He spoke to me differently. For years I’d been treated like that little sister. But today, I was more than that. He saw me as the grown woman I had become. The tormented, broken woman with too much pain in her life already.

“You and Luke were too young to lose them.” He said initially, but I stopped his words immediately. “You were young too Jack. You lost them too.” I said, as a wave of sadness washed over his face for a split moment.

“I’d had more time with them. With him. It always was the way. With Mum, and then with Dad. I knew Dad, and he knew me. But Luke, he was still growing up to be the man Dad always wanted him to be. And Luke lost that; he lost those moments with Dad that I got. And you lost them with your Mum. You and Henry, you lost those final years where you’d see them change around you, and they’d try and protect you from the evils of adulthood, but eventually, they’d accept that you had grown up. And that’s why it wasn’t fair on you and Luke, Mattie,” He said gently, taking my hand and linking my fingers through his. “That’s why you grew up before your time.”

He was met with silence, as thoughts and feelings rushed through my mind. As the memories of all those nights I’d spent weeping in Luke’s arms returned back to me… and the feelings of Jack’s hand in mine made me shiver and wonder…

“What about everything they missed out on?” I cried finally, looking him in the eyes “What about watching their children become parents, what about watching their grandchildren grow up? Is it fair for Ella to be ten this year, but only have photographs and fleeting memories of her grandparents? Is it fair that Johnny and Sophie only have stories and pictures of their Grandad, when he should really be out playing in the garden with them, running around after them, causing them to giggle?” I asked, but Jack’s eyes had fallen to the ground at the mention of his precious children.

“Jack” I asked softly scooting over closer to him, now worried that the one rock I’d had throughout this entire ordeal was falling apart too. “Jack,” I repeated, “What’s wrong? Is something the matter with John or Sophie? Or Martha, is every thing okay?” I asked, pleading with him to let me in.

Finally, his eyes moved slowly up to look into mine. The shone with unshed tears, as his hand clasped onto mine once more, searching for some kind of comfort… “Tilly…” He began before a voice spoke in the distance.

“Matilda Hunter?” They asked, as I turned to see the face of a nurse “Lucas is asking for you.”

-

Pausing in the doorway, I sucked in my breath once more. Seeing his usually strong figure frail and weak, plugged into all these machines that were living for him, it tore at my heart, and I always had to find my own strength to carry on… to live for him.

His eyes open slightly, and he manages a small smile for me. I smile back at him, willing the tears to stay locked in my eyes, locked deep down so he can’t see me cry. But I felt Jacks eyes on me, and just knowing that he was there gave me the will power to walk forward towards Luke.

“Hey you.” I said softly, pulling up the chair that was by his bedside and sitting down in it, taking his hand gently in my own “How are you feeling now?”

He smiled at me again, before pushing himself up a little. “Better.” He croaked out, as I reached to the glass of water on the table besides me, handing it slowly to him. Taking his time, he managed a few quick sips of the cool liquid before passing it back to me.

Placing it on the table, I noticed something new there. A small, black velvet box, hiding away in the shadows. Picking it up curiously, I looked up to see Luke grinning from ear to ear. Anxiously, I looked down as I clicked it open slowly, revealing a small diamond ring between layers of foam. It sparked a little in the light, and any comprehendible words became caught in my throat as I looked towards Luke, tears shining in my eyes once more.

“Matilda Hunter.” He said, leaning forward towards me and taking the box out of my hands. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. Through all those awkward moments and long gazes, through the highs and the lows, through friendship and more, I’ve always known that you were my soul mate, always known that you were the girl for me. I love you Matilda Hunter, more than life itself, and I want you to know that if you marry me, on that day I will walk out of here, and I will dance the night away with you, and I will carry you over the threshold, because I love you that much. I will walk for you.” He said, as I felt the tears streaming down my face. I nodded mutely as Luke placed the ring on my finger and kissed my hand tenderly.

For if I spoke, I always wondered what my answer would have been, as I felt his eyes bore into my soul, his dark gaze sweep over my body, and I tried my hardest to ignore his reaction… to ignore my own feelings that had begun to grow…

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[furrylogic]

Thanks heaps everyone. I'm glad people seem to enjoy reading a story about what could be believed to be an unconventional couple, because while writing them, they just seemed to work together. Thats the beauty of fiction

Here is the Fourth part, the second last, as there is only five. I hope that this almost ties up the story, and doesn't leave you wanting (too much) more.

Anna

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I had to turn away from them… from her… for fear the growing anger would take a hold, for fear the jealously would seep through my skin and she would begin to feel it. Walking away from the bright room full of joy and happiness, anger surged through me as I briskly stepped out into the sun.

How did she not see? How could she not know? Did she pretend not to notice, for her sake… for mine? Every time she’d ask those innocent questions, about Martha, the kids, my stomach would lurch, and I’d feel faint. Because all I wanted to do was pull her close and feel her body next to mine.

Martha, I thought bitterly. How much ten years of marriage can change. At first, we’d been perfect. This perfect union that nothing or no one could tear apart. Then, slowly, surely, the cracks had begun to show. We’d been called fools for marrying so young, yet I hadn’t believed it. Until I came home to find… the painful memories became too much to bare, and I felt my stomach heave its contents up into the nearby garden.

Still, I could not think of that night without my stomach lurching. Because of what I saw. Because of what she did.

Naturally, I was to blame. “You’re never home Jack.” She’d screamed as she scrambled to put some clothing on “You’re always at work, always checking up on something or doing something for the sergeant. Or going to make sure Matilda and Lucas are okay. They aren’t kids any more Jack, they are young adults…” She’d screamed at me, her usually calm face red with rage. “What about our children? Are they supposed to grow up seeing their father every once in a blue moon?” She’d screamed, throwing him his clothes as he cowered under her screech. “What about me?” She yelled finally “Am I just supposed to sit at home night after night waiting for you to come to me? I have needs Jack. I have my own needs…” She’d said softly, breaking down on the bed as he’d scurried out of the room like the rat he was.

I’d stood in the doorway and watched her continue to cry, wondering if I had really caused this. And if I had, if there was anything I could have done to stop it. Wondering, were we really just too young to know… to know that nothing lasts forever?

“Jack?” Her sweet, melancholic voice said from behind me “Are you okay?” Her hand was on my back, rubbing soft, gentle circles like my mother had done when I was sick as a child.

“One day” She’d whispered in my ear “You’ll find a special girl. And she’ll be the one to give you these itzy bitzy butterflies that will have a thousand dances right here…” She’d said, ticking my so I began to giggle “And she’ll look up at you and see no one or nothing else. She’ll look at you and you’ll want to make the world right for her. She’ll love you like no other before…” Mum had said fondly… “And…” I remembered her words as I turned around to see Matilda’s soft eyes gazing up towards me, glazed over with concern, with worry… with… “You’ll love her like nothing else.”

“Matilda…” I said, grabbing her hands and pulling her towards me…. “Mattie…”

-

I’d watched her grow, right in front of my eyes. From the broken girl she was, to the strength she is now. To the woman who sits at his bedside every moment every day willing his own strength to return. Willing him to turn back into the man he used to be, not the haunted man he is now, with memories and fears that may never be overcome.

I’ve watched her cry when she thinks no one is watching. Watched her pray for guidance from the heavens, from her mother, from those she’s loved and lost, because she feels that she can’t go on any more.

I’d watched her pretend like everything was going smoothly, and then I’d witnessed her fall apart. And that’s when I knew, when I knew that she was the woman Mum had told me about.

Because I wanted so much to fix her world. To make everything right for her, even if it meant she was still in love with someone else. She was my one, my only, my everything. I’d just been to blind to see it once upon a time. Because she had been a child then. A little sister who I wanted to protect.

But now, through everything, she had become the woman I wanted to love.

It had been so innocent once. So sweet, so kind. We’d needed one another for comfort. But she knew, and I knew. We knew that it had grown into something more. Something that neither of us could deny no longer.

I’d kissed her half an hour after Luke proposed. I’d kissed her with all my will power to make her know that she and I were meant to be. But she’d kissed me back with such force and intensity that I knew she knew.

“Mattie…” I’d gasped as I’d pulled away, shocked and scared about everything that was happening, and this overwhelming feeling of love for someone else.

“Jack…” She’d replied, stepping towards me and wrapping her small, delicate hands around my neck. “I just… need you… okay?” She’d asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears. And I crumbled, unable to say no to such a stunning beauty, such a vulnerable woman.

Softly, tenderly, I’d leant down and pressed my lips onto my own. And she’d trembled in my arms, until I’d pulled her tightly against me, sheltering her from the evils of the world.

And that was how we’d begun. How everything had fallen into place, for the first time in ten years, we’d both felt as though there was something to look forward to.

-

[furrylogic]

Thanks everyone. Sorry about the delay, because this really should have been up sooner. The final part of Red Wine... which is basically my entry for the fan fiction challenge (the old one.) I hope you enjoy it, even if you've read it, and if you have, I hope it makes that much more sense now!

I've really enjoyed writing this, its been fun. Maybe something I'll try again some day.

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She moved swiftly around the room, collecting her clothes. My eyes followed her supple form, ignoring the feelings that were slowly beginning to set in. She pulled her red skirt up swiftly over her long, tanned legs, pulling her long hair back into a loose bun with the remaining hair elastic she had in her bag. Shimming into her tight top, I mourned at the loss of that lovely belly as it was hidden between the dark crimson materials.

She looked up suddenly, and smiled a little when she caught my staring at her. Her body swayed as she moved towards me, falling onto the bed and crawling on top of me. She smiled down angelically as her hand reached down to touch my cheek.

I melted under her soft touch and leant up, capturing her lips with my own. She tasted of chocolate and red wine and something else, something truly her, and as I ran my hands through her messy hair that had fallen out, I knew that I could never get enough of her… I could never have enough of her.

-

His hands were in my hair and his lips were enticing me into our sinful state once again. His plush lips sucked gently on mine as I smiled into the kiss. Pulling away, I watched as he licked his now red lips, his eyes flicking over my crumpled form once more. I tasted beer in my mouth, and grinned a little as I watched him lean over for the beer that was sitting on the bedside table.

But then I caught a glimpse of the gold band that was sitting comfortably around his left ring finger, and the pit of my stomach lurched a little. My right hand instantly flew to my left where I subconsciously fiddled with the small diamond ring that glimmered in the morning light that was peaking through the blinds.

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Turning back around, cool beer in my hand, I watched as the flushed red colour drained from her cheeks, her face turning pale, her body becoming stiff as I reached out to her. I could no longer taste her sweetness, rather the guilt and regret that I felt when we reached this stage. It always came, like clockwork, flooding the sweet memories we’d made the night before.

And then we’d leave one another, and go our separate ways. The taste bitter sweet, the feelings numbed, because we knew what we were doing was wrong. We knew it could never last. We knew that if they found out, we’d be shunned. Because we knew that we could never be together for longer than these fleeting moments we savoured.

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I watched as his eyes fell, and I knew that the moment had passed. That the time had passed. That it was time to shut the door and walk away. Until another time and another place, when I’d be lost in my own world, my red lips smiling at anyone and anything, when he’d find me, and his arms would snake themselves around my belly, and once more we’d become lost in the taste, the feel, the need for one another.

His hand reaches out to me, but I shy away from him, crawling off the bed slowly as I collect my bag once more. The salty taste of tears reaches my mouth before I even realise the tears are cascading down my face. Furiously I reached up to wipe them away, but his hand caught my own, and he turned me gently to face his, his eyes looking down into my own, searching for something, anything. I looked away as his hand reached up and cupped my face, wiping away the tears, although the flow seemed endless.

-

“We could run away together.” I said to her suddenly, as her eyes snapped to mine, and I saw in them the crushed hopes and dreams of a woman who was stuck in a world she hated.

“We can’t.” She replied finally, shaking her head and pulling away from me, refusing to give in to the red hot desires I knew she felt too.

“You’ve got kids. And a family… another life… and I’ve got… I’ve got…” She tried to say his name, but chocked on her own words, the guilt overwhelming her.

“Forget them. I know we could. We’d finally be free to be together like we should be.” I cried, pulling her towards me as she melted into his embrace.

-

It was so tempting. Running away, skipping out on all our problems. On all our mistakes… our failures. Running away to begin a life we should never have led, running away from the life we were fated to lead. Leaving the taste of regret, of loss, of hate… in our families mouths, with the guilt and suffering growing in our own stomachs day after day.

I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t live a lie. No matter how badly I wanted to.

“I can’t Jack.” I said finally, pulling away from him and walking towards the door. “I can’t live a lie, no matter how green the grass is.”

-

I watched as her figure retreated from the motel room. Peaking out the window, I watched her red skirt move as she climbed into her care and drove off into the sunrise. My hand ran through my hair as tried to control the anger that surged through me. Unable to contain the rage, the jealous monster that brewed within me, I grabbed the wine bottle that was sitting next to me and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces. Like my heart.

“Dammit.” I screamed angrily. “Dammit Matilda Hunter… I love you.” I sobbed, sliding down the wall into a broken heap on the floor.

Alone, unloved.

The taste of love and rejection in my mouth.

After that night, she never came to me.

That was the last time I ever felt the heat of her body mixing, mingling with my own. The last time I ever tasted that sweet, red, red wine on her lips. The last time I ever saw red flash across her eyes as she moaned in pleasure.

That was the last time I ever felt something more.

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