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Oh My Golly!

Guest Jay Preston

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"Oh my Golly!!!"

Part 1

Robbie was walking along the deserted beach, along the Bay, Summer Bay. He started to shout and be geeky and weird. It was *so* adorable. Pity no one was around to see my masterful display of kookiness, thought Robbie.

But no, poor Robbie was wrong. Wrong indeed. There was someone around watching his quirkiness unfold. This dangerous stranger was not impressed. And Robbie ended up dead. Dead in the sand, wrapped in seaweed.

Someone found him. VJ it was. Leah was heard to say later, "At first I thought it was strange that someone who wasn't in the credits found the body, but then I realised my son is semi-regular. Even if his face has changed a little."

Poor Leah had soapitis and could only talk in soap talk. She was also heard to say to Dan, "It feels like I've been taken off contract and made a recurring guest star in your life."

Soapitis is deadly, and she didn't catch it accidentally. Someone poisoned her with it. Leah died, briefly came back to life (a common thing to happen with soapitis) and died once again. Curiously she did arise again, but this isn't impossible with soapitis, just rarer. She's dead now though.

Irene was in the Diner, a business now with only one owner. Irene had bought Leah's share of the Diner because of Leah's growing insanity (Poor Leah tried desperately to create corporate boardroom intrigue, but that's hard when your business has no boardroom). The business was fine, but Irene was sad to lose the pocket rocket that was Leah. In her honour, Irene found a destitute child on the street and decided to take it in. Unfortunately the child was actually a bomb! And it exploded in the beach house, taking out Irene, Barry, Kim and Tasha. The bomb was planted by a dangerous stranger who was possibly someone from the past.

Beth was wondering about all the death lately. It seemed someone was out to get them. To destroy the Bay. But then Tony said, "Are you sure this person is genuine?"

Tony later turned up dead. Beth killed him though out of frustration. He wasn't killed by the dangerous stranger who killed everyone else. But Beth let the dangerous stranger take the rap.

"It's Zoe, it's the stalker!" Peter yelled down his phone to some mysterious person no one cared about. It wasn't Zoe who was doing the killing, but Peter didn't realise. Too narrowminded.

"You're so obsessed with Zoe, why don't you marry her?" Dan said.

"Only if you marry her first," Peter replied.

And Dan did. But brotherly jealousy got in the way... and they both ended up dead. No, they didn't kill each other, the dangerous stranger who possibly has a connection to someone in the Bay just made it look that way.

In a further symptom of soapitis, Leah briefly appeared in a vision to Beth, still talking soap talk. "Isn't it strange how the only people who are dying are people from the credits?"

"Yeah it is, usually only guest characters die. They should fix that," Beth replied. And suddenly Beth had contracted soapitis from the ghost of Leah. And none of it would've happened at all if the dangerous stranger hadn't given Leah soapitis to begin with.

Beth turned into a serial killer thanks to her soapitis. She killed Jack, Lucas and their guest star half brother Matthew. She also killed Lilly Gordon and Miles Manning - two guest characters no one cared about. Ghost Leah was able to rest in peace knowing that her old world was back to normal. Unfortunately the soapitis got to her and Beth suddenly died of a nameless terminal illness before she could kill Martha, Ric and Cassie.

"Oh my Golly!!!" thought Alf, looking over the carnage. "We're all going to die if things continue like this."

Right you are Alf, right you are.

The fallen:
















So many still to die... Can you guess who the dangerous stranger is and save your favourites? Probably not, since this person is a dangerous stranger and you haven't met him/her yet. Or have you?

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Oh my Golly!!!

Part 2: Logies Special

The Bay, Summer Bay that is, was living in terror. Everyone was dying at the hands of a dangerous stranger. And most of the police were dead now, which meant that the investigation might actually lead somewhere now. Morag guessed that the dangerous stranger may have links to the past of the Bay.

"I'm guessing that this dangerous stranger has links to the past of the Bay," Morag stated.

"Golly, how'd you arrive at that conclusion?" asked Alf.

"Don't know. It usually is someone from the past. And I bet it has something to do with Amanda Vale!" Morag exclaimed as she stormed out to confront Amanda.

But when Morag arrived to confront Amanda, she found her dead, wrapped in red hair.

"She's dead! This just proves that she has something to do with the dangerous stranger. And with this red hair, this person is trying to frame me for the murders!" Morag exclaimed again. All this exclaiming was doing damage to her voice, so she decided to go and visit Flynn, but then she remembered that she couldn't do that anymore. She left anyway. Taking the red hair with her.

Morag was right. The dangerous stranger did want to frame her for the murders. Because then the dangerous stranger could run wild in Summer Bay, with no hope of being caught. To prove that the dangerous stranger wouldn't scare her, Morag killed Matilda to show that she was just as dangerous, and she wasn't even a stranger.

Coincidentally, a new person arrived in town. Benedict Warner. Everyone immediately suspected him of being the dangerous stranger. He wasn't, he was just another long lost Stewart relative. He joined Morag in the investigation.

"Why would this person want to frame you if they want you out of the picture? Why wouldn't the dangerous stranger just kill you?" Benedict asked.

Morag didn't like this. "That sounds like dangerous stranger talk!" she exclaimed, breaking her vocal chords.

Using a notepad and pen, Morag organised a movement to have Benedict run of town in a sort of dangerous stranger witchhunt. She succeeded. But then Benedict turned up dead and Morag was the prime suspect.

Could Morag be the dangerous stranger? Obviously not, since she's not a stranger and since she's being *framed*.

But there is still a dangerous stranger out there. Ready to kill again. And Morag could pay the *ultimate price* - prison.

The Fallen:



Morag's vocal chords


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Oh my Golly!!!

Part 3

People continued to live in fear. Especially Morag. Morag Bellingham. Since she had been framed for the murders and misdeeds actually done by the dangerous stranger. The only murder Morag hadn't been blamed for was the only one she actually committed - the murder of Matilda Hunter.

Zoe returned to the Bay after the deaths of her husbands (the Baker brothers). In the wake of the new dangerous stranger she didn't seem so scary. She and Alf started a hot affair. Since he was the only man left in the Bay. Apart from Ric.

Ric was walking along the cliffs at a pretty beach. "It's not at all unwise to walk along a cliff when there's a dangerous stranger around town killing people randomly, especially when I could very possibly be a target," Ric said to himself. "Not unwise at all. I'm such a clever boy."

Not so clever. The dangerous stranger had been lurking and heard Ric's monologue. The dangerous stranger confronted Ric.

"You're the dangerous stranger! You! A stranger, yet still a face from the past with connections to the Bay. Summer Bay that is. And you've been killing everyone," Ric stated the obvious.

"Yes. And now I'm going to kill you," the terrifyingly evil and chilling dangerous stranger said. And with that, the dangerous stranger very dramatically pushed Ric off the cliff. Then the dangerous stranger continued lurking.

Alf, Morag, Cassie, Sally and Martha couldn't really muster much emotion around Ric's death. "Been there, done that," Cassie said.

"But which one of us will be next?" Sally asked.

The very moment Sally said that, Zoe was murdered by the dangerous stranger. As she died, she whispered, "So *that's* how you do it. Killing is easy."

Colleen witnessed the murder. She gasped. "Is that..? It couldn't be. The dangerous stranger is..." and she went silent at just the wrong moment.

She wrote down the name in the dirt and ran away. But the dangerous stranger caught her. So... the dangerous stranger can run faster than Colleen. That narrows it down. Colleen's dead by the way.

Could the remaining people of the Bay find the clue Colleen left them in the dirt? Unfortunately not, since it rained that night.

Henry returned to the Bay, Summer Bay that is. He died of Irrelevance before he could say hello. Irrelevance enhanced by the fact that the dangerous stranger had killed his entire family.

Sally decided that now was the right time to hold a party, inviting back former residents of the Bay. Just important ones.

Fisher, Celia, Barbara, Pippa, Carly, Steven, Frank, Adam, Marilyn, Dani, Rhys and Shelley and Selina returned. Just to see Sally and the Stewarts, since there was no one else left.

"Thanks for inviting us back Sally," they all declared. "We're not scared."

But they should be. Because the dangerous stranger was going to strike again. And the dangerous stranger was going to be someone at that party. Could it be one of the former residents of the Bay? No, since they're not strangers... when are you going to get that. Other people were being invited too.

Martha went to visit the graves of her friends. She didn't feel like she fit in at the old resident's party. She was just being unsocialable, since Cassie fit in fine. So it felt good to be surrounded by people she knew, even if they were six feet under. There was a freshly dug grave in the cemetery. She walked over to it and looked at the headstone that had already been placed there, even though there was no body. It said "Martha McKensie". She screamed as she was pushed into a coffin and buried. By the dangerous stranger.

Everyone at the party was given clues about where to find Martha. Marilyn found her. She survived, and everyone was thrilled. Cassie was later poisoned though. Everyone asked if Martha saw the dangerous stranger but she didn't. Too much fear about being buried alive.

Cassie died from her poisoning. It wasn't the dangerous stranger, it was Barbara trying to kill Fisher again, but she got Cassie instead. Those Stewart women... can't trust them to not kill people. Morag later killed Celia. Both murders were blamed on the dangerous stranger. Poor Celia... she never got to kill anyone.

Sally began to wonder if it was unwise to bring all these old residents back to the Bay. Summer Bay that is. She would be right in that thinking. However, only Celia ended up dead of the former residents. It seemed that the dangerous stranger wasn't all that interested in the old residents.

Or so the dangerous stranger would like us to think. Dani turned up dead, wrapped in scrunchies. Shelley and Rhys donated kidneys in her honour. Unwise for Shelley, considering she only had one left.

Selina was murdered after having a psychic vision revealing who the dangerous stranger was. She decided to go on the radio and broadcast that she knew who the dangerous stranger was, but not tell anyone who it was. So basically everyone who ever lived in the Beach house and returned to the Bay was killed. Morag's glasses were found at the scene.

So many dead, very few left to kill. Morag was arrested for the murders and misdeeds of the dangerous stranger. It was terrible, even though she deserved to be arrested, considering she herself became a serial killer.

And so it seemed that the dangerous stranger had won. Everyone who found out who the dangerous stranger was had been promptly murdered. Many others who didn't know who the dangerous stranger was also died.

The dangerous stranger was getting complacent. And it was time for the dangerous stranger to suffer a terrible set back.

Ric was alive

The Fallen:









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The terrifying, gollifying final installment of "Oh my Golly!!!"

Alf thought he was going to die. Sally thought she was going die. Martha thought she was going to die. Cassie wondered where her scrunchies got to. Morag wanted everyone else to die first. Everyone thought Ric was dead. But he wasn't.

Strangely enough, even though the terrible criminal in town was a dangerous stranger, Ric new this person. By name. So were the proclamations of dangerous stranger incorrect. Probably.

How misleading.

Morag was in prison, and the inmates didn't like her much. But she didn't like them either and ended up becoming top dog. She desperately tried to organise her trial case, but it was hard to fit in around torturing other inmates.

She thought about all the murderings and poisonings... Was there a pattern that could identify who the killer was? There wasn't, so she was wasting her time.

However, she didn't have to worry too much. When Ric turned up, he was able to tell Lara Fitzgerald (the only police officer still breathing) that it wasn't Morag.

"Who was it then?" Lara asked.

"A dangerous stranger, with links to the past," Ric replied.

"They all are with you people. Why did I move here?" Lara said to herself.

It really would've been better if Ric had tried to be less dramatic by withholding the name of the dangerous stranger, since the dangerous stranger seems to find people who know who he/she is and kills them.

But that didn't happen before Morag was released. Everyone left in town was desperate to know who the dangerous stranger was.

"We should wait till Friday," Ric said.

"Why so, stupid?" asked Cassie.

"Cos it's more dramatic on Fridays," Ric said.

Sally could see what was happening - Ric had soapitis! It seemed soapitis was in the water... which is where Ric had been able to survive for several dies... how'd he manage that? It was the soapitis. It's incredibly unlikely that he could survive that, so naturally with soapitis, he manged it.

So the remaining residents of the Bay, Summer Bay that is, were faced with the task of keeping Ric safe from the dangerous stranger until Friday, when he would finally reveal the name of the dangerous stranger.

"Should we consider this person a stranger still?" Casse asked. "Since Ric knows this person, maybe it isn't a dangerous stranger. Maybe it's a dangerous relative, or a dangerous neighbour, or a dangerous friend."

The remaining residents looked at each other suspiciously. Everyone was a suspect since it turned out that the dangerous stranger wasn't so strange.

But it wasn't one of them. But they all bought guns to protect themselves.

Tragically, Lara turned up dead, wrapped in crepe paper. Like a pinata. Tragic, but colourful.

"How sad," said Ric. "And I could've prevented it all."

"Soaptastic," said Cassie.

Presently, she had a nervous breakdown. She'd contracted soapitis, and that meant that she had an unexplained descent into mental illness that was incredibly insensitive. She whipped out her gun and started shooting. She didn't hit anyone though.

Except Alf.

Everyone was devastated as Alf was wheeled off to the morgue. Sally cried and cried. But then she smiled evilly. "Ha! I've been here longer now. I WIN! Someone call the Guinness Book of World Records" she exclaimed. Had she contracted soapitis too? Nope, just evil it seems.

All that was left were Sally, Morag, Martha and Ric. Cassie had been carted off to a hospital with nice gardens that would hopefully relax her.

It was 11.50pm on Thursday night. Everyone was getting tired. They only needed to wait ten more minutes before Ric could reveal who the dangerous stranger is. Could they make it?

Nope. They all fell asleep. And it was the perfect opportunity for the dangerous stranger to kill Ric, before he revealed the name.

And the dangerous stranger did it. Ric was murdered, as were Morag and Martha. Sally woke up to the sound of murder. And she was horrified by what she saw.

"What!? You're... me..." she said.

"No, I'm you're aunt. Your identical aunt. My name is Lilah Manning. And I'm angry at you. You had a great life with a whole town loving you. I had nothing. You should've chosen to come and live with me. But you didn't, so I got plastic surgery to make myself look like you, so I could kill everyone you love and destroy the town who stole you away from me," the dangerous aunt explained.

"But I didn't even know you existed. I didn't even know that living with you was an option," Sally said.

"You're Sally Saunders aren't you?" the dangerous aunt asked.

"No, it's a common mistake. I'm Sally Fletcher. I married a man called Flynn Saunders, but I didn't change my name," Sally said.

"Oh my GOLLY!!!" Lilah exclaimed.

After some clarifications (Sally's parents' names etc), Lilah made a horrifying realisation.

"You're not the Sally I'm looking for. Many apologies," Lilah said.

"No worries," Sally said. (She is evil remember).

Just then Cassie returned just in time. Escaped from the mental institution. And she killed Lilah right there. Except she didn't kill Lilah. She shot Sally (Lilah and Sally are identical remember). And then Cassie dropped dead right there from a Brain Explosion (common in soapitis sufferers).

And golly, they really did all die.

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Oh my GOLLY!!!

Alternative ending

It was 11.50pm on Thursday night. Everyone was getting tired. They only needed to wait ten more minutes before Ric could reveal who the dangerous stranger is. Could they make it?

Nope. They all fell asleep. And it was the perfect opportunity for the dangerous stranger to kill Ric, before he revealed the name.

And the dangerous stranger did it. The dangerous stranger killed Morag and Martha. But she woke Ric up first.

“Why didn’t you tell them it was me?” the dangerous stranger asked.

“It wasn’t Friday yet. You knew I couldn’t because of the soapitis. You’re the reason I have soapitis. You made sure I got it so I couldn’t reveal who you were. But I don’t understand. You’re not a stranger… Sally,” Ric revealed.

Dangerous Sally sneered at Ric. It was only by a stroke of luck that Ric contracted soapitis. If he hadn’t been diagnosed with soapitis, and had still survived the fall down the cliff into the water (which he only survived because of the soapitis) she would have been revealed before killing them all.

“I don’t understand how you qualify as a dangerous stranger,” Ric said.

“Well,” Dangerous Sally began, “It’s quite interesting. I am in fact a stranger. You know me as Sally Fletcher, but my name is actually Lilah Manning.”

Ric’s mind was blown. But he didn’t die yet.

“I am Sally’s aunt. I wanted Sally’s life… she didn’t want to live with me when she was younger and my life turned out terribly because of that. So I decided to steal everything she loved – her home, her friends, her town and her identity. I had extensive plastic surgery and kidnapped and hid her. Then I went about killing the town that stole her away from me.”

“You’re crazy,” Ric said.

“Thank you for stating the obvious. And now I’ll kill you so you can’t reveal anything,” Dangerous Sally/Lilah said.

“Thank you for stating the obvious. Just so we have closure, I understand how you’re a face from the past with links to the Bay but still qualify as a stranger. Very clever,” Ric replied.

Dangerous Sally killed him. But just then, Cassie returned, escaped from the mental institution. She killed Dangerous Sally. She knew about Dangerous Sally, because she found the real Sally, in a soapitis caused contrivance.

Cassie and the real Sally were relieved that the ordeal was over. Unfortunately there was and earthquake that caused the house to collapse on them.

And golly, they really did all die.


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