handcuff_me_sexy_peter_baker Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 A mini bus suddenly jolts out side noah's bar. A bag is thrown out one of the doors then you hear some one shout 'CLEAR OFF YOU IDIOT'.Some one else replies by saying ' my names TOMMY not idiot YA idiot' tommy then shouts 'MY BROTHER IS A COPPER HE WILL HAV YA'. Tommy rushes towards noah bar when he acidenty bumps in to Ric. Tommy apolijoses and says 'im tommy nice to meet ya' Ric then introduces himself. Ric says 'I gotta go mate catch ya later' (ric walks off) Tommy waks in to noahs where he is greeted by a wired look of coleen who is sitting drinking a juice. Tommy catches a glimpse of haley and wolf wistles. (haley turns round and smiles). (A mobile phones rings) Tommy picks up saying 'yes mum yeah im here it's good now all i have gotta do is find my 2 big bro's who i aint seen ever before, this is going to be hard'. Pete walks in noah's bar and walks past Tommy, then Pete trips over Tommy bag because it is in the middle of the floor. Pete then badly hurts his leg, coleen rushes over and calls an ambulance. Tommy walks out upset because he has hurt someone and he has'nt been in the bay five minutes. Before colleen can find out who tommy is, he rushes out noah's bar and runs on to the beech for a swim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astogirl24 Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 I've lost 30 seconds of my life reading that - pity, I should have been picking my nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handcuff_me_sexy_peter_baker Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 Dnt you think you are being a bit mean, i take time and effort writing it and you just judge it by the FIRST part, you are the rudess person i have met. Im new to this forum and you still are ungratefull for my contributions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily11 Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 Its not bad. Well done!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete4Leah Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 I've lost 30 seconds of my life reading that - pity, I should have been picking my nose. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey come on give him/her a break. If you don't like it why say anything? Yes I know you are entitled to your own opinion but this person is new and that certainly wasn't a very nice welcome to the boards for them . Don't be put of by comments like that handcuff_me_sexy_peter_baker. I think its a good story and Im looking forward to the next part. Please use correct spag though (spelling, punctaution and grammar)....you'll find the rules on this forum. Great job though...well done. Post some more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handcuff_me_sexy_peter_baker Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 I've lost 30 seconds of my life reading that - pity, I should have been picking my nose. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey come on give him/her a break. If you don't like it why say anything? Yes I know you are entitled to your own opinion but this person is new and that certainly wasn't a very nice welcome to the boards for them . Don't be put of by comments like that handcuff_me_sexy_peter_baker. I think its a good story and Im looking forward to the next part. Please use correct spag though (spelling, punctaution and grammar)....you'll find the rules on this forum. Great job though...well done. Post some more <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I will try but i try to use capitial letter to show you that they are shouting!. I will be using sland because that is how the character will be talking!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelgirl Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 That is great handcuff_me_sexy_Peter_Baker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amzy angel Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 ooooo This sounds really good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.