Sally and self-hate

Long before Matilda developed her short lived bulimia, self-hate had been explored with great depth and continuity through Sally. Those who have only watched the show for a few years will probably be surprised that a confident, popular character like Sally could ever have hated herself but self loathing has been a common, recurring theme throughout the whole of Sally's life. Milco her imaginary friend had been a support to her in her early years but after he disappeared Sally was left utterly alone.

milko.jpgUnlike Matilda there was no clear trigger that caused Sally's self loathing. Tom's death was potentially a starting point, the loss of the first stable father figure she had known, this period of her life also marked the beginning of the break up of her original foster family. Frank left the bay soon after, Steven headed off to Uni and Carly and Bobby either moved out or began planning weddings and moving away. Their places in The Caravan Park House were taken by Sophie and Finlay, closer in age to Sally and both were pretty, outgoing and confident whereas Sally, as she entered High School, was merely the brainy one.

salhate.jpgThings escalated when Sophie and Fin moved on but were replaced by Shannon, closer again in age and effortlessly pretty and popular, Sally felt continuously compared to her. She developed her first real crush on Joe Lynch and asked him out but he took a disliking to her being in advanced Maths and her being his mother, the teacher's pet. He spent weeks going out of his way to make her feel bad, calling her 'the ugliest dog in school' and a 'brainiac' amongst other things. When she spoke out against him nobody believed her and when he was eventually caught out she forgave him after getting her own back but the damage had already been done. The first guy she had seriously liked had rejected her in the cruellest way and her self loathing was a recurrent theme with all of her subsequent boyfriends.

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Things came to a head after Michael died, once again Sally had lost her stability and her self loathing came once more to the forefront. She was campaigning hard to become school council representative but was passed over by her peers. She became increasingly jealous of Shannon's ability to seemingly get any guy she liked and made a play for one of Shannon's exes, Curtis but he failed to notice her. She allowed Charlie, a guy she didn't like, to kiss her and was found by Shannon and Selina sobbing over the fact that she was so ugly and no boys liked her. Her first serious relationship was with Tim who she lost her virginity to but the relationship ended badly when he was revealed to be involved in a plot to smuggle in illegal immigrants into Australia. Devastated that somebody she had trusted had betrayed her, Sally's self hate resurfaced and she hit self-destruct mode pairing up with bad boy Scott. She let him sleep with her and stole exam papers for him but Tim's return to town with his name clear, helped bring her back on track and he rescued her from Scott who tried to viciously attacked her, looking for revenge.

raft.jpg With Tim she found stability again but she was left once again feeling insecure when Pippa decided to leave town and recruited Travis and Rebecca to look after the Foster kids and The Summer Bay House. Feeling sidelined and undervalued by Pippa, Sally lashed out and struggled to fit in with being treated as an adult in the house she had grown up in. She and Tim soon split up and she sought her independence by moving in with Vinnie and Jesse. A relatively stable part of Sally's life began with her dating Vinnie, living as 'one of the lads', completing her degree and holding down a job but a trip to Ireland changed everything for her.

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She returned to Australia with Kieran Fletcher in tow and plans were quickly underway to marry but Kieran was secretly making a play for Gypsy Nash and the truth was revealed in the cruellest way, on Sally's wedding day. Kieran's betrayal and her humiliation led to the resurfacing of her old insecurities and in good continuity Sally began to doubt herself. Her self loathing manifested itself in OCD, something her serious and compulsive character had already hinted at. With her friends, family and new boyfriend Luke's support she managed to beat her OCD but after a succession of failed boyfriends and being held hostage at school, she suffered a flare up of the condition. She suffered a crisis of confidence at Leah's wedding, believing everyone would be thinking of her failed wedding as she walked down the aisle behind Leah.


salheart.jpgHappiness was around the corner for Sally though in the shape of Flynn Saunders but Sally's old insecurities led to her believing that he was interested in Shauna rather than her. Flynn finally overcame her doubt and they became a strong couple but when Sally got cancer and was forced to have a hysterectomy she became convinced that Flynn would not want her anymore and that she wasn't good enough for him. They moved past it and it was with his support that she beat another OCD flare up when devious Angie Russell took advantage of Sally's history to make her doubt herself.

flynndie.jpgWhen Flynn died Sally was left once more with a huge loss of stability in her life and in the immediate aftermath she was seen cleaning continuously, something that had been a key feature of her OCD. A video left with Alf, from Flynn was enough to bring her through and Sally began rebuilding her life without her beloved husband. Last year her daughter Pippa was run over by Alf Stewart, the only constant in her life and Sally reacted furiously. She eventually confided in Leah that Alf's involvement in her daughter's accident had left her doubting her 'safe place' and feeling once again insecure. More recently she was stabbed and had her job taken from her, leaving her once again at the peril of her insecurities but her recent near death experience with Tom and the revelation that Miles was her brother has given her the strength to overcome her insecurities.

saldoubt.jpgDeciding to take control of her life, Sally has decided to travel and see the world and to a long time viewer of the show this particular exit storyline shows great continuity with a key feature of Sally's character. Whenever Sally has felt insecure throughout her life she has fallen into self loathing and OCD but the latest occurrence has come at a time when she finally has the strength and support to overcome it and instead of falling victim to it, Sally has taken control. It seems that as Sally leaves the bay she may finally have beaten the demons that have haunted every step of her life and I can't see a better reason for her character to leave the bay.

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