Dazacoulls Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 I have not seen a Thread like this in a while, and as there's alot of arguements around in different threads I thought it would be nice to re-start this Jokes Thread up again... Tell us a JOKE!!! Here's my very first ever joke, which I told: Why did the Skeleton Burp??? Because he didn't have the guts to Fart!!! I love it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolzi Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 Why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimmy Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 Xmas joke The Virgin Mary was cradling her little baby in her arms when the 3 wise men walked in to come visit. As the last wise man came in he bumped his head and said "Jesus Christ!". Mary said "Oh that's a much better name I was going to call him John" And also 'Jesus is coming, everyone look busy!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachbabe Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 ok this quite a rude and nasty one so dont get offenced! Boy: miss jerad , do you have holes in you pants? Teacher: No of course not! Boy: Then how do you get your legs through? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Cat. Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! ------------------------ Name: Greg Bulmash. Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Education: Yes. Last position held: Target for middle management hostility. Salary: Less than I'm worth. Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Reason for leaving: It pulled. Hours available to work: Any. Preferred hours: 1:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here? Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what? Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely. Sign here: Aries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily11 Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 LOL thats great!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachbabe Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 this is a really funny its out of my jokes book. A girl went into the cafe and ordered ice cream, cake, choclate, slashings of cream. The waiter said do you want a cherry on the top to go with it?,the girl replied no thanks im on a diet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashirr-Leigh Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 That application is hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimmy Posted December 22, 2005 Report Share Posted December 22, 2005 Another Xmas Joke... A teacher is in class and asks the kids what they do for Christmas eve...First little Johnny gets up and says "Well we go to midnight mass and then come home to sleep.When we wake up we open up presents" . Next little Mary stood up and said "We have the family over then we open up the presents". The teacher saw little Moshe in the corner and was deciding whether to ask him or not but before she could ask he stood up. "Well we go to the local Chinese restraunt for dinner, then we go to my dads toy factory, look at all the empty shelves and then go to Hawaii " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolzi Posted December 23, 2005 Report Share Posted December 23, 2005 This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! ------------------------ Name: Greg Bulmash. Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Education: Yes. Last position held: Target for middle management hostility. Salary: Less than I'm worth. Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Reason for leaving: It pulled. Hours available to work: Any. Preferred hours: 1:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here? Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 Lbs?: Of what? Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely. Sign here: Aries. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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