Can I Go Through It Again?

[torian]

Story Title:  Can I Go Through It Again?
Type of story: Short /Medium Fic
Main Characters: Tori, Christian, Jasmine, Justin, Leah
BTTB rating: G
Genre: Romance, Drama.
Does story include spoilers: No
Any warnings: Sexual content, V/D.
Summary:  Tori finds out she is pregnant but after what happened with Grace she isn't sure she can go through with it. She knows how much Christian wants a family so knows she can't tell him as he will be heartbroken. Tori only tells Leah and Justin the truth

 

Chapter 1

Tori couldn't believe this was happening. She looked at the test it was positive. Tori was shocked she knew that after Grace's pregnancy and what happened that she needed to decide whether she could go through it again or not and truth is she didn't think she could. 

Tori was thankful Christian was working today as she needed time to think but one thing she knew for sure was she couldn't tell him at least not yet.

Tori walked into the kitchen to see Leah. Leah turned around and saw the worry on her friend face "What is it?" Tori looks at Leah "Lets talk outside"

Leah nods as the pair walk outside and sit down.  "What wrong Tori?" Tori can't hold in her emotions "I'm pregnant" Leah was surprised and Tori could see that "It took me by surprise as well but the thing is I'm not sure i want to keep it not after" Leah cuts her off "The issues of last time before the birth and after"  Tori nods "I don't want that to happen again. Last time was hard enough" Leah gets it she saw how hard it was "I get it. You need time to make a decision" Tori cries she is a mess "I do and I'm scared of making the wrong one" Tori nods "I can't tell Christian he wants a family and I'm not sure I can give that to him besides he wouldn't understand why i am considering this" Leah nods "What about Justin?" Tori looks at Leah "I will tell him. I need too" The pair hear the door open to get in the house and Leah decides to go in and get Justin for Tori.

Justin and Christian walk in surprised to see no one else there. They look at each other before hearing the back door open and seeing Leah walk in. "Justin, Tori she needs her brother" The pair both look at each other and worry as Justin nods and walks out the back.

Justin walks out and shuts the door. Tori then turns around and he is shocked to see that Tori had been crying. He runs over and hugs her "Whatever it is it will be ok" Tori shakes her head "No it won't because I'm pregnant and I'm not sure if I want to keep it" Tori cries harder as Justin holds her "Whatever you decide I will be here for you" Tori smiles "Thank you"   Justin looks at Tori "I'm guessing Christian doesn't know" Tori shakes her head "No and I'm not telling him not unless i decide on keeping it" Justin nods understanding this as he holds Tori in his arms.

 

 

[torian]

Chapter 2

Tori and Justin walked inside joining Leah and Christian in the kitchen. Christian smiles as Tori comes in walking over and kissing her with passion which she returns.

Leah and Justin watch the pair feeling bad for Tori knowing how hard this decision is going to be for her and the fact she can't even talk it over with Robbo this time and she can't with Christian as she isn't even telling him. They did understand why she wasn't telling him but they also knew she shouldn't be going through it without him.

Tori stood beside Christian and yawned "Im going to skip dinner and get some sleep. " Leah and Justin nod while Christian worries about his girlfriend. 

It is later that night when Christian walks into go to bed and he sees his fiance sound asleep. He smiles before getting in beside her and holding her as she sleeps falling asleep himself.

The next morning Tori wakes up quietly at 5am she needed to think about what she was going to do and she knew she needed to do that at Robbo gravesite. 

Shortly after Tori arrives with flowers in her hand which she puts next to the grave "Hey so I missed you. Particularly recently i found out i was pregnant yesterday and it taken me by surprise but honestly after what happened last time I'm scared and I don't know if i can go through it again. I know if you were here you would say exactly what I need to hear" Tori just sat there still staring at Robbo's grave

When Christian wakes up at 6am he is shocked to not have Tori beside him. He gets up and looks around the house and doesn't see her anywhere. He then hears footsteps and Leah and Justin coming out to see the doctor worried. Leah speaks up "What is it?" Christian looks at then "Tori isn't here and i know she isn't at work" Justin now looks just as stressed as Christian when Leah speaks "Justin you and I both know Tori got alot to think about and we both know the one place she would do that" Justin nods "Right that exactly where she will be. You don't need to worry" Even those they told him not to worry Christian was worried and starting to wonder if Tori if all of then were keeping something from him 

[torian]

Chapter 3

Tori walks back in the house still having zero clue whether she was going to keep it or not. Justin and Leah are there and Justin spots her first "I would of came with you" Tori smiles "I needed to do this alone but i have an appointment later can you come?" Justin nods as he gets up and hugs Tori "Of course I will" Leah then speaks "We are here for you whatever you need. Whatever decision you make" Tori smiles "Thank you. I'm lucky to have you guys as family" Justin smiles "We are lucky to have you too"

It is later in the afternoon when Justin and Tori arrive in the city. The pair immediately walk into the doctors office and soon after get called into the room. Tori looks at the doctor "If i go through with it will what happened last time happen again?" The doctor facial expressions says it all and Tori knows she can't put Justin through that again or Christian at all she just won't do it.

Christian walks into the house to see Leah there "Tori and Justin are having some sibling time" Christian looks at Leah "They really are joint at the hip but am i missing something? Leah shakes her head even those she wishes she could tell him the truth cause it involves him too.

Tori and Justin then walk in not realizing anyone is home still in a heated discussion "I'm not sure your making the right decision T" Tori looks at him "It my call to make but even way people will be hurt" Leah knows exactly the issue as Christian looked confused "Justin outside now" Justin nods as he follows Leah outside 

The pair go outside and Leah looks at Justin "So what going on" Justin takes a breath "She thinks she making the right choice but I don't think she is"

[torian]

Chapter 4

Christian was so confused wondering what choice Tori had made "What choice?" Tori turns around "Nothing you need to worry about it is fine" Christian walks over to Tori and kisses her before looking at her "If your going through something I want to be here for you. I love you" Tori smiles "And I love you but I'm fine" Tori kisses him before deciding to head outside. Christian doesn't buy what Tori said for a second. He knew something was going on but didn't know what.

Tori goes outside and Leah looks at her "Are you sure your making the right choice?" Tori nods "This is best for everyone" Leah looks at her "Christian already worried about you. You need to tell him" Tori shakes her head "No not until I'm sure. Now you guys have an opinion I get that which is why I will think about it more but it me that this affects, me and my life no one else's" Justin looks at her "I could of lost you I can't do that again and what about Christian this affects him" Tori looks at then "It might not depending on what choice I make" The pair know Tori right "You need to tell him whether you keep this baby or not" Tori looks at then "No i don't he wouldn't understand. With that Tori leaves

Tori walks inside to see Christian on the couch needing a distraction from the baby stuff she walks over and sits on his knee as he pulls her closer and holds her. Tori then speaks "Please remember that I love you so much Christian I always will no matter what" Christian smiles "I love you too" With that the pair kiss. Tori is happy to be around her fiance and forget everything else even  if it is for a little while

[torian]

Chapter 5

It is the next day when Tori feels sick she is thankful Christian is already at work as he won't see her this way. She runs to the closest sink and throws up and the next minute feels someone pulling her hair back then hears a voice "It will be fine T" The voice was Justin's he just stood there and rubbed her back as she threw up. Tori wasn't sure if she could take much more and wasn't sure if she should considering she might not want to keep the baby.

Once Tori finally finishing throwing her she calls into work saying she unwell before Justin forces her into resting on the couch which she happily agrees too as she needs it and it will give her time to think.

Meanwhile at the hospital Jasmine spots Christian "I'm surprised your here" This got Christian confused "Why?" Jasmine figures he doesn't know "Because Tori called in sick" Christian was shocked "She was fine when I left" With that Christian runs towards the lift to go home and look after the ones he loves.

Tori hears the door open and looks up seeing her fiance "What are you doing here?" Christian looks at her "Your unwell so I'm looking after you" Tori shakes her head "You don't have to" Christian looks at Tori "Your my fiance and I want to take care of you" Tori feels awful "But you don't have to and I look like crap" Christian laughs "You don't look crap you are perfect to me" With that Christian sits down beside Tori and she lays on his knee as he rubs her head. 

[torian]

Chapter 6

Christian looks at his pale fiance "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Tori looks at him "I didn't want you to see me sick like this i hate the fact that you are even now" Christian looks at her "I want to be there always besides you look beautiful to me" Tori shakes her head "I'm not beautiful" Christian shakes his head "You are Tori" 

Tori then feels the urge to be sick quickly gets up and runs to the bathroom locking the door before throwing up. Christian walks to the bathroom to discover the door is locked "Tori let me in" Tori shakes her head before yelling "I'm fine" 

The house door opens and Christian walks out which surprises Justin "What are you doing home?" Christian looks at him "My fiancé is sick of course I will be home to take care of her but now she is throwing up and won't let me in" Justin isn't surprised "Tori hates people seeing her this way that would be why" Christian looks at him "I'm not just anyone I'm her fiance" This makes Justin feel worst for keeping Tori secret "She knows that mate that why she trying to keep this sickness from you" Christian shakes his head "I just want to be there for her" Justin nods "I know"
 

Justin looks at Christian "What is it?" Christian knows he needs to ask "I know all three of you are keeping something from me it very clear so what going on" Justin hates lying "If I could tell you I would  but I can't" Christian is surprised "Why not?" Justin hates this "Because it isn't my story to tell" This makes Christian wonder even more if this is to do with Tori and not Justin

[torian]

Chapter 7

Tori finally came out of the bathroom and saw Justin sitting with Christian on the couch. Tori smiles as she looks at her brother "I need to go see someone" Justin looks at her "T don't do this" Christian is now even more worried "What going on?" Tori looks at Christian "I'm going to see Jasmine that all" With that Tori walks out the door.

Tori called Jasmine telling her to meet her at the diner and Jasmine agreed.

Tori was relieved to walk in the diner and see Jasmine "You look crap Tori" Tori nods "Maybe that cause I'm pregnant" Jasmine is surprised "How does Christian feel about it?" Tori shakes her head "He doesn't know and he can't" Jasmine is confused "This involves him it is his kid" Tori looks at Jasmine "I don't think i can keep this baby" Jasmine clicks "Your scared cause of everything that happened with Grace" Tori nods "Tori you will have people supporting you and you will have your family and Christian this time" Tori starts tearing up "I don't think I can Jas. It doesn't feel right not after last time" Jasmine looks at Tori "Promise me you will think about this for a bit longer" Tori nods "I will I promise but please don't tell Christian" Jasmine nods "I won't but you should" Tori speaks "I will only tell him if I'm keeping it and when I'm ready"

[torian]

Chapter 8

After Jasmine chat with Tori she decided to go talk to Justin. She knocked on the Morgan's door and was grateful that Justin opened it "Is Tori crazy?" Justin realizes that Jasmine knows "So you know?" Jasmine nods as Justin  lets her in "I get what happened last time was scary but things are different now" Justin looks at Jasmine "I told Tori that but she won't change her mind" Jasmine looks determined "Then we need to tell Christian what going on because he is involved in this too" Justin looks at Jasmine "I hate lying to him but we cannot break Tori trust that isn't fair" Jasmine gets sad "This is about a life Justin don't you get that" At that point Christian walks in the room "Of course I get that Jas but it not my choice or yours it Tori's" At that point Christian decides to speak "What is Tori choice?" The pair go quiet and Christian speaks again "What is going on with my fiancé?" Jasmine speaks up "You need to talk to Tori"
 

It is later that day when Tori arrives home. She sees Christian in the kitchen and gives him a smile "I shouldn't gone out I am feeling worst so I am going to get some sleep" Christian walks towards Tori and grabs her hand before looking at her "You know I'm here for you for better for worse right" Tori laughs "We aren't married yet" Christian looks at Tori "Well I still am" Tori nods as Christian speaks again "If something was going on you would tell me" Tori nods "Yeah of course" Tori knew that wasn't completely true but the last person Tori wanted to know about any of this was Christian as this was her decision it is her choice and Christian might not understand it if she makes one of the choices she is considering making 

[torian]

Chapter 9

It was the middle of the night when Tori woke up with cramps. She got up making sure she didn't wake Christian up. She ran to the bathroom but thankfully wasn't bleeding not yet anyway

Tori then walks to Justin room opening the door which straight away wakes up Leah and Justin. Justin can tell his sister have been crying "What is it?" Tori cries harder "I think i am losing the baby" Justin and Leah immediately get up and Justin picks up his sister carrying him outside to the car while Leah grabs the keys and follows suit.

They arrive at the hospital to be greeted by Jasmine and a doctor to check on the baby. Tori was so thankful this happened in the middle of the night as it meant Christian wasn't awake.

They led Tori in a room which per Tori request Leah and Justin joined her in doing the ultrasound. The doctor looks at Tori "You have lost one of the babies" Tori cried then processes what the doctor says "There a second one" Jasmine speaks "Yeah Tori there is. Now I know this is hard" Tori looks at Justin "I want to go home take me home" Justin nods knowing how much this is affecting Tori 

Christian wakes up and sees the empty bed beside him and considering it wasn't even 4am this surprised him. He went in Leah and Justin room to find it empty too which makes him worry even more. The next minute he hears the door open and walks out towards the hallway.

Christian walks out as he sees Justin carry Tori in his arms as Leah speaks "If you need anything just ask Justin or I ok" Tori cries as she speaks "Can Justin stay with me tonight?" Leah nods "Of course anything you need" Christian at this point speaks "What going on? I woke up and you were all gone" Justin puts Tori on the couch as Tori shakes her head "Nothing everything fine It was just a hard night that all" Christian nods but isn't buying it for a minute. He knows there is more to all of this

[torian]

Chapter 10

It was the next morning when Christian walked out of the hallway to hear Tori crying into Justin arms. He walked closer so he could hear the pair "This is my fault i said i didn't want then and now one is dead" Leah who is sitting next to Tori shakes her head "Tori people miscarry all the time even you have but it no one fault" Christian was shocked to hear this information and spoke up "You had a miscarriage last night" The group turned around and Tori nodded "I did" Christian was so shocked "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Tori looks at Christian "Because I didn't know if i wanted to keep then and now one gone" Christian processes the information "There a second one" Tori nods as she gives Justin and Leah a look and they leave.

Christian sits next to Tori and holds her "I get losing the baby was hard particulary not having me with you but we can do it Tori we can raise our other kid together. Be a family, give Grace a sibling" Tori knows what he is saying is true but she still scared "I don't know if we can after i gave birth to Grace I almost died I was in a coma for weeks and I didn't tell you about the pregnancy because I knew you would want to keep this baby and I'm just not sure if I can" Christian is heartbroken but hides it "I get that must of been scary but Tori whatever happens whatever you decide I will support you and love you" Tori nods as she cries into Christian arms "I love you too"