Ludub Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Great start! Very well written and I'm also very interested to see where you take this... That said, this is a very bleak chapter for the most part! You really don't like those boys, do you?! I think it's a bit of a stretch for Kat to blame herself for someone who wasn't Andy or Josh shooting the cop in the knee (not that I care if Kat blames herself or not). If we're living in a world where all the 'baddies' get what's coming to them (and excessively long sentences), then she should most definitely suffer some repercussions for the part that she played in all of this, preferably criminal charges too, where she has to serve prison time. I hope you're going after Hunter! I loved the scene at the start with VJ and Billie. They're very sweet together and I'm glad that Billie actually loves VJ and it's not just a desire to have a father for her baby, or to attach herself to the extended family that being with him will give her. That hasn't really been made clear in the show. Lovely description of what being in love means to her and how unfamiliar a feeling it is. Really enjoyed this. Looking forward to the next update x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive User Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Awesome start, RR1! Liked the scene between VJ and Billie at the start Looking forwards to the next chapter Xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pembie Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Good start glad that Josh and Andy have been caught Its abit sad that they are in differnt prison though sad for the characters I mean I'm not sad at all haha Interested to see where you take VJ and Billie. Theirs is by far the best story for me in the show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JosieTash Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Liking this !!!! I hope Billie;s house of cards doesn't fall down, in this OR the show, but i have a feeling it will !!! Coooooool and GOOD changes to what's happend in real H&A. MUCHLY looking fwd to more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Great chapter Loved VJ and Billie at the start. Update again soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 7 hours ago, Ludub said: That said, this is a very bleak chapter for the most part! You really don't like those boys, do you?! I think it's a bit of a stretch for Kat to blame herself for someone who wasn't Andy or Josh shooting the cop in the knee (not that I care if Kat blames herself or not). If we're living in a world where all the 'baddies' get what's coming to them (and excessively long sentences), then she should most definitely suffer some repercussions for the part that she played in all of this, preferably criminal charges too, where she has to serve prison time. I hope you're going after Hunter! I warned you I wasn't going to be too pleasant to the boys in this fiction either! As for Kat and Hunter, wait and see.Some of it you may like, some of it not so much. 7 hours ago, Ludub said: I loved the scene at the start with VJ and Billie. They're very sweet together and I'm glad that Billie actually loves VJ and it's not just a desire to have a father for her baby, or to attach herself to the extended family that being with him will give her. That hasn't really been made clear in the show. Lovely description of what being in love means to her and how unfamiliar a feeling it is. 6 hours ago, ~JarlieFanEver~ said: Liked the scene between VJ and Billie at the start 6 hours ago, pembie said: Interested to see where you take VJ and Billie. Theirs is by far the best story for me in the show. 3 hours ago, JosieTash said: I hope Billie;s house of cards doesn't fall down, in this OR the show, but i have a feeling it will !!! 2 hours ago, Kristen said: Loved VJ and Billie at the start. Thanks, guys.I wanted to include VJ and Billie in the chapter, partly because they're my favourite part of the show as well, and partly because even though it's a while before I've got anything for them to do I wanted to establish they're in this story and there will be a role to play for them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittCatt Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Great start! I'm interested to find out where you take this and what changes to the show you make. Especially in regards to Billie and her honesty about her baby's paternity. I also agree with Ludub that you've made it clear she loves him for him and doesn't just want a stable family for her baby. Well you got the boys killed in the last one so i gathered they would be caught in this one Liked the animosity between Hunter and Evie. And I'm glad Ash was honest about the stolen money, unlike in the show. I look forward to more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 7 hours ago, KittCatt said: Great start! I'm interested to find out where you take this and what changes to the show you make. Especially in regards to Billie and her honesty about her baby's paternity. I also agree with Ludub that you've made it clear she loves him for him and doesn't just want a stable family for her baby. Well you got the boys killed in the last one so i gathered they would be caught in this one Liked the animosity between Hunter and Evie. And I'm glad Ash was honest about the stolen money, unlike in the show. I look forward to more Thank you! Yes, that was another reason to have that bit with VJ and Billie at the start, I wanted to get into Billie's head and make her analyse her feelings for VJ before everything else that's coming up in about ten chapters' time.(Um...or later.Yeah.Don't expect any major developments in that one any time soon...) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludub Posted September 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 Great chapter! Kat got off pretty lightly really but there's always that old thing of cops looking after their own. Josh was charged immediately for providing a false alibi, surely this would definitely be considered perverting the course of justice (aiding and abetting a murder suspect). Isn't Mccarthy doing the same thing, by listening to her sob story, and making his decision based on her personal circumstances? Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how things go for her and Ash at the Braxton house and if they can manage to make things work. I liked Evie and Matt's scene together. Loved his line about it being a pickle. So Matt I'll be interested to see what you do different with the Morgan storyline too. Really looking forward to the next chapter x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 (edited) Great chapter RR1. Glad everyone is being supportive. Shocked Ash asked Kat to move In with him. Update again soon Edited September 4, 2016 by Kristen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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