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Thirteen (by Ludub) - comments


Red Ranger 1

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Great chapter!

Once again great flashback. Glad Kyle has Tamara for support. 

It is in character for Ash to do what he thinks is right no matter the consequences. Telling Kat was probably not the best idea but she could be able to help. Telling Billie and/or Brax would be awful though. It's Kyle's business not Ash's or Brax's. I often find myself not liking Ash so what he is doing is certainly in character. Great job :) I like his brotherly relationship with Billie though.

I look forward to more, update soon :P 

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3 minutes ago, KittCatt said:

Great chapter!

Once again great flashback. Glad Kyle has Tamara for support. 

It is in character for Ash to do what he thinks is right no matter the consequences. Telling Kat was probably not the best idea but she could be able to help. Telling Billie and/or Brax would be awful though. It's Kyle's business not Ash's or Brax's. I often find myself not liking Ash so what he is doing is certainly in character. Great job :) I like his brotherly relationship with Billie though.

I look forward to more, update soon :P 

Thanks KittCatt! :P I feel the same about Ash. I think he does stupid things because he thinks they're the right thing. They're usually the worst possible thing anyone could do in whatever the situation happens to be, and you end up sitting there going "Why, Ash? Why?" I do like him in his scenes with Billie though. I think the two actors have great chemistry and work incredibly well as believable siblings. I enjoy seeing them together. Anyway, glad you're enjoying it.

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Great chapter!

I don't think talking to Kyle when he is working was the right thing for Kat to do. She should have waited a bit. 

Poor Kyle.. his trust in Phoebe is probably gone. And he thinks everyone's laughing at him. :( Liked Ash trying to comfort him.I wonder who he has told.

Nice cliffhanger... Kyle's brother has arrived.

I also liked the cute beginning with Tamara and little Noah :P

I look forward to more, update soon :P

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10 hours ago, KittCatt said:

Great chapter!

I don't think talking to Kyle when he is working was the right thing for Kat to do. She should have waited a bit. 

Poor Kyle.. his trust in Phoebe is probably gone. And he thinks everyone's laughing at him. :( Liked Ash trying to comfort him.I wonder who he has told.

Nice cliffhanger... Kyle's brother has arrived.

I also liked the cute beginning with Tamara and little Noah :P

I look forward to more, update soon :P

Thanks KittCatt :wink: Thought I needed to give Kyle a little bit of comfort. Life is so hard for him right now. I feel like I'm being terribly cruel. I want him to still have a good relationship with Tamara despite everything that's going on, so I'm glad you liked that scene. x

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10 hours ago, Kristen said:

Great chapter 

Kat shouldn't of tried to talk to Kyle at work.

Liked the twist that Brax is back.

I look forward to more 

Update again soon :)

Thanks Kristen! It probably wasn't appropriate for Kat to talk to Kyle at work but I think she might have wanted to spare him a trip to the police station. Glad you liked the twist at the end :P

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8 hours ago, Red Ranger 1 said:

Even though he messed up in the first place, I like the way Ash handled things.Kyle didn't take Kat's approach well but I'm not sure what else she could do.So...Heath or Brax at the end?

Thanks Red Ranger 1 :P Glad you enjoyed this chapter. You're right, I think Ash did the best he could in a bad situation (even if he kind of created the situation in the first place). Thanks again for your feedback. I really appreciate it!

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