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Time Runs Out Eventually


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Story Title: Time Runs Out Eventually
Type of story: Short/Medium Fic
Main Characters: Rosie, OC's.
BTTB rating: Teen 16+
Genre: Angst.
Does story include spoilers: No

Any warnings: Language, Adult themes

Summary: Rosie’s life in foster care.



I wrote this story a few years ago and now finally feel it is the right time to post it. I want to thank Telephoto_Marigold for helping with the story.




Part One:






I sigh, the woman is back, and I swear my social worker hates me. She just doesn’t get how much I don’t want to go to a foster home.



I may be 12 but I still want my mother. I still don’t really get why I am so alone here. Everyone else here is in my “position” so why am I alone?


Am I really unapproachable, invisible?


Does no one actually see me?




‘Coming,’ I call out as I pull off the rubber gloves and shove them on the windowsill. I hate cleaning the bathroom yet every time the chores are given out. I get the bathroom. Guess I have to suck it up.


‘Ah there you are.’ The woman has red-rimmed eyes, she clearly hasn’t slept at all, internally that makes me smile but on the outside I look bland and uninterested. My life consists of pain and pretty much being invisible, oh what fun that is.


‘So I have a foster placement for you.’


That sentence snaps my head up and I look at her like she’s just punched me.


‘Sorry what?’


‘Yes, Mrs Harrison has agreed to take you on.’


Take me on? What am I? A toy to pass on when someone has finished playing with it? I am not some toy I’m human, with human feelings, but for the past 12 years of my life that has made no bloody difference.


I am just unwanted, unnecessary and pointless. That will be me for the rest of my life, and honestly it doesn’t even bother me that I am just not worth anything to anyone at all.


‘Rosie! Did you hear me?’


‘I heard,’ I shrug feigning nonchalance I do not feel, ‘When am I going to be shipped out?'

‘You don’t have to sound so ungrateful; no one else is going to want you.’


No one else is going to want you, those words hurt more than they should. I should be used to not being wanted, used to seeing myself on the outside of everything but those words scar my soul.I need to be alone to take this latest change in but the woman insists on still talking to me.


‘Now, you will be going there from Monday, so you have the next 2 days to sort your things out. I’ll pick you up at 11am on Monday morning.’


She has no idea how much I wish she had just said that I was going home on Monday, but she didn’t so I have to accept that I am going to be palmed off onto another human being who doesn’t even want me.


‘Is that all?’ I find myself asking.


‘Yes, you can go back to your bathroom chores.’ She looks down on me as she smiles, baring her teeth with a grin that has me repressing a shudder; she is literally the scariest looking woman I have ever had the misfortune to meet.




Three days later and Monday morning is here, I keep thinking someone will tell me that I am in a bad dream and that there is no problem and that I don’t have to be uprooted again.


‘Rosie?’ I hear someone outside the door as I am just shoving the last of my stuff in a battered old suitcase.




‘She’s here.’


I breathe in. ‘Coming.’


I look around the room which has been mine for 10 months, 10 months of being totally invisible.


Who knows maybe this foster placement is a good thing? I don’t know what is good in my life anymore, and what isn’t. I probably don’t even know what is good for me anymore.




‘Coming.’ I look around with a last lingering look around my bedroom before picking my suitcase up and carrying it down with me. The place seemed duller now that I am actually leaving.


I walk into a room full of disinterested residents who don’t even care I am leaving, all they want is to be anywhere but here wishing me ‘good luck.’


The next few moments of hugs pass with no emotion being shown, emotion is a sign of weakness. It is much better for me to hide how I feel about everything. Since I found my real dad or sperm donor as I prefer to call him, was only my father through an act of violence, I had nothing left to care about.


I used to think my family was normal.


Oh man that was so not true. I am just a dysfunctional, broken and useless human being who wasn’t even wanted or planned. My mother had a stillborn son and after 18 months of grieving and anger, I was conceived when she was attacked.  I wasn’t ever wanted. No wonder I was in foster care, who wants a child who reminds her mother of the pain and sorrow she went through?


‘We’re here.’ The social worker announces shaking me out of my headspace albeit temporarily, as I was sure that there would time enough to focus on what passed as a pathetic excuse of a life.


Walking into the house I heard the social worker talking and making me focus on my surroundings.


‘Mrs Harrison, this is Rosie.’


‘Rosie, come in.’




‘This is my son, Ryan.’


‘Hi.’ I say looking up at him. I couldn’t tell if he even cared I was there or if he was just bored. He had one of those unreadable expressions, I guess I would have to wait and see if he was going to make my life harder or easier, time would tell.


‘Let me show you your room.’ Mrs Harrison said.




She walked me up the stairs and to the bedroom at the back of the house. It was a small room but I didn’t care. I never care these days.


‘Thanks.’ I found myself saying to her.


‘Come down, when you feel like it.’


‘Okay’ the short blunt answer to the statement but it didn’t seem to bother her as she walked away from me and back down the stairs, the same way she came up moments before.


Well things are definitely going to be interesting, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing I guess I’ll have to wait and see.





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This story is short as it will focus on some specific themes.

Warning: Mild Language.

Chapter Two


‘Ryan will take to you to school today so that you know how to get there.’

My head nods automatically, my behavioural characteristics consisted of nodding at everything adults told me. Sometimes I wonder why I l do that but then I think to my elf, it is pointless debating it. I won’t find any answers. I think back to the time of my life that caused me to end up in foster care.



Two years ago.

I walk into my living room, the room was messy and all over the place but no one cared unless things started growing, then the cleaning frenzy started. My brother Scott was sat on the sofa staring at the TV like he did every morning as he waited for breakfast to be handed to him.

‘Where’s mum?’ I asked him.

‘Kitchen. Tell her I want food’

‘Lazy git.’ I mutter as I walk into the hallway leading to the kitchen, I can hear raised voices so I slow down and reach the corner, my mum is arguing with a man. I don’t recognise him so I said nothing. I walk into the kitchen, padding along and they both turn to look at me.

‘I just wanted a banana before the bus comes.’

‘Okay, before you do, make a bowl of cornflakes for your brother.’

I resist rolling my eyes because I knew that she was going to ask me that question.

‘Of course.’

I make the bowl of cereal and hand it to Scott who looks at it and then shakes his head before eating it.

‘Mum!’ I call out.

‘What?’ My mum appears in the doorway.

‘Bus will be here soon.’

‘Right, come on then. Scott. Stay here, don’t leave the house.’

Scott nodded and then just returned his attention back to the TV.

‘Who was that man?’

‘No one!’

Her blunt answer just made me think what? What did I say? We carried on walking to the bus stop where there were people waiting to get on the bus.

‘Go on, school, and be good.’

I walked onto the bus and sat down waiting for the bus to move off, my mother had already started walking back home. I couldn’t get the words out of my head, why did she do that to me? She doesn’t normally snap, she usually treats me better than that but I shook my head and accepted that everyone has off days. I am sure nothing will come of it and that she will be back to normal




I get off the bus at the end of the day and I find no one waiting for me. I end trudging back to my place through the alleyways; I hate the long journey. I mean who wants to walk a long way after a long and busy day at school? I never did get the logic of that at all.

Scott is still on the sofa when I get back but I don’t say anything, just dump my bag 8on the table and then go to the kitchen. I hear my mum again so I avoid going in so I don’t get told off again.

‘She doesn’t know!’

‘Stop lying to her!’

I am intrigued by the conversation, what is my mum hiding from me?’

‘She deserves to know who her actual father is!’

‘He doesn’t deserve her, he’s a low life piece of scum.’

‘Yes, he is, but she still needs to know!’

‘She’s 9 years old. She couldn’t and wont understand.’

I freeze, what was my mum talking about? My real father? There were so many questions whizzing around my head and I didn’t know what to say or how to move so they didn’t catch me there. My feet manage to get me back into the living room and I sit there staring at a spot on the wall which is the only thing that is keeping me sane. I keep replaying the conversation in my head which does nothing but wind me up. Who is my father?


I plan to ask my mother what is going on so many times over the past few weeks but I can’t build up the courage. First I am in shock and then anger takes over. She has been lying to me all my life. Why? What is the truth? Is she even my mother?


‘In my room.’ I call out adopting a neutral expression so she does not suspect anything.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just cleaning up. Do you need something?’

‘I need to talk to you, there have been some rumours going around.’

‘What rumours?’

‘You playing up at school.’

‘Who said that?’ I tried my hardest to show I was annoyed at the assumption that I had been playing up because she’d kill me if she knew what I had done.

‘A few people, so what is going on with you?’




‘Rosie. Don’t push me.’

‘Fine, I have just been talking back.’

My mum’s hand came spinning towards me so fast I had no time to react before I was on the floor curled up in a foetal position with her kicking me. I tried so hard not to cry but the tears just flowed. She finally stopped and spat at me.

‘Useless girl. You’re making me look bad. Stay in your room. Don’t come out. You’re nothing to me.’

Those words pierced my soul. They made me realise I am worth absolutely nothing and I have no idea why I am surprised.


Months pass and I still haven’t found the courage to talk to my mum, I am still completely terrified of her. My teacher calls out my name and I look up.

‘You’re wanted in the principal’s office.’

I trudge out with my things and walk to Miss Green’s office. She’s sat at the table when she calls me in. There are two police officers and an official looking woman in the room with her.

‘Rosie, please sit down.’

‘what’s happening?’

‘These police officers want to ask you some questions.

My brain is thinking about all the things I have done, what is wrong?

Sometime later…

‘Your mother has decided she needs a break and after the assault, that it is best you go into foster care.’


‘Yes, you will be escorted to a carehome as soon as you have packed a bag at home.’

‘What about Scott? I can’t leave him.’

‘Scott will stay with your mum.’

‘No, I wont go!’

‘You have to.’

The next thing that happens is that I am in a car driving to the city, to the big bad city. I don’t like it. I feel lost. Alone. Worthless. I guess this is now my new life. Stuck in a world where no one else cares. I have no one left that cares about me. I am alone.

End of Flashback:




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  • 1 month later...


Authors Note: Only one more chapter to go.




Warning: Dark themes mentioned








The past three weeks had flown. Ryan has been there at the table every morning having the same breakfast and not talking to me. Nothing-new there.


‘Up to anything today?’ he asked


I frown at him but he just looks at me expectantly clearly waiting for an answer.


‘No, I haven’t got any plans. I have some homework to do but nothing else.’


‘It’s half term.’




‘Come out and have some fun.’


I sit down and get a piece of toast. ‘Why are you being nice?’


‘You’re not that bad, you keep to yourself and I feel sorry for you.’


‘I don’t want your pity.’


‘It’s not pity, it’s the truth. I don’t care if you come or not, if you want to then come, if you don’t, then don’t.’


‘Fine, let me get ready and then we can go.’


‘Half hour.’


I trudge up the stairs and contemplate whether this is the start of something good? Maybe, who knows?




‘Rosie? You’re going to be late for school!’


I groan as I lift myself out of bed and get myself ready for another day of boring school, of lessons that I could not actually bring myself to care about.




‘Sorry, I am getting ready now.’


‘I need to ask you, did you take any money from my purse?’


I burrowed my eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. ‘No. I didn’t.’


‘Right, well $40 went missing last night, so you won’t mind if I search your room.’


My brain was still reeling from the accusation but I didn’t protest and so she started ransacking my usually tidy room. She looked in the bedside cabinet, in the drawers across from the bed, and then in and around my wardrobe.


‘What is this?’


She holds out a bundle of $5 notes which must have added up to $40.


‘I didn’t take it’


‘You’re grounded. I will pick you up from school and you are to stay in your room until I say so. Get ready for school. You have 20 minutes.


I get ready wondering where the money had come from. Think. I chastise myself. Who? Why? When? The answer hits me as I get into school and walk into my lesson. I see my foster mother talking to Principal Scott, probably saying I am not allowed to be out on my own and stuck in school all day.


‘Rosie, can you come to my office please?’ Principal Scott calls out to me.


‘There you are.’ Principal Scott said as she sat behind her desk with my foster mother sat on the other side. ‘Sit down.’


I could feel my rage boiling over but I suppressed it as I knew Mrs. Harrison would never actually believe that I never took her money. Her precious son could do no wrong and I was just an inconvenience.


‘So I heard there was an incident today.’


‘Incident’ I heard my foster mother scoff. ‘She stole money and that is why I grounded her.’


‘I understand Mrs Harrison, let me speak to Rosie, and please let her answer for herself.’






I was warring between whether to protest or to just accept my punishment. Acceptance won out.


‘I don’t really know what you want me to say.’


‘First off, did you actually take the money?’ Bianca gestured to my foster mother to stop her answering.


I nodded.


‘Right, well you are grounded at home which means it will be the same for you here at school, lunchtimes will be in the library helping the librarian sort out the new books we have.’


‘Okay, can I go back to my lesson now?’


‘Yes, go.’






Ryan saunters in as I am sat doing homework, my iPod had been taken and I was missing my music but tried not to focus on that. I just got on with it. I had nothing else left to lose. I was too tired to care; the past 3 weeks had just erased even more of the little self-esteem I had left.


‘Where’s my mum?’




‘You’re quiet.’


‘Busy.’ I point to my homework without lifting my head so he got the message I am not in the mood.


‘Fine, be moody.’


I let that comment wash over the top of my head, I wasn’t lazy, just tired and fed up of dealing with crap, ever since the money went missing, vases got broken, a precious heirloom was ‘stolen’ and I still got the blame. What’s more I accepted it.


‘Anyways, have you eaten?’ Ryan asked.


‘No, not hungry.’




‘Like I said, not hungry.’


‘Are you still annoyed?’


My head shot up and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘Why would I be annoyed?’


‘I have no idea; you’re just quiet and gloomy all the time since you got grounded.’


‘Why are you surprised? I am grounded, Am I not allowed to be quiet?’


‘No you are,’ he countered ‘but you’re depressing now.’


‘Oh so I bother you?’



‘Fine, I will be in my room.’ I gather up my books and walk out of the room. Ryan trudged behind me and followed me up the stairs. I plant myself on my bed and open my homework again.


‘Look. I don’t know what your problem is but I am tired of hearing it. Get over yourself!’


‘Go away.’


‘Fine. I am going to tell my mother you need to go back to the care home, you don’t belong here.’


‘I know, I don’t belong anywhere, I never asked to come here; I never asked to be in this house. I just get told what is going to happen. I have been here for a while and I am grounded. I don’t do anything at school apart from lessons and working in the library. I get your mother in my ears about everything little damn thing that I do wrong and now you’re in my ear. What more do you want?’ My breathing is ragged as I try not to let myself cry and bare my emotions, there would be time enough for me to cry later as I try to sleep.


‘I do my chores, I keep my head down and you are still not convinced. Your mother is my carer that is it; she gets paid to give me a room and food. Why am I suddenly being punished for that? What’s more, I have accepted everything you’ve thrown at me, all the things that I have been accused of, I accept, I don’t bother arguing and you’re still not satisfied, what do you want from me?’ My eyes are glaring at him but my body is too tired to keep it up and my attention moves back to my homework.


‘You’re different.’


‘Different how?’


‘You’re just a depressing person to be around.’


‘What do you expect? I don’t belong here, like you keep telling me.’


Ryan looked at me like he was trying to control his temper, I had no idea what cause he had to be angry or frustrated, my mood and quietness is because he kept framing me for things I haven’t done. My homework is the only thing that I can do these days, the TV is banned, I have no music and the computer is off limits. I honestly had no idea what more he wanted from me. What else did I have to give?


‘Why don’t you do us all a favour and leave?’


‘I would if I had anywhere to go. You really think I want to be here?’


‘Leave, run away or kill yourself. I don’t care, just leave and my mother in peace. We don’t want you here.’


The two words ‘kill yourself’ stuck in my mind, I couldn’t stop replaying those words over and over in my head. Ryan left my room but I didn’t even notice.


I just put my books to one side and lay on the bed in a foetal position trying to be as small as possible. I was still in shock and honestly didn’t know how to process those two words. No one else had ever told me to kill myself.


Days passed, turning into weeks and then it was the summer holidays, I was grounded yet again because a precious photo had been found smashed in the bin in the back garden. Naturally as of then I was labelled as a troublemaker.






‘Cleaning time.’


‘Start with the bathroom.’ She handed me the cleaning products. ‘Once you’ve done that, vacuum the whole house and then do the kitchen. Once that is all done, you can stop.’


I nodded half glad to have the jobs to do because it would take me all day and then at least I had something to occupy my time. I tackled the bathroom; the smell of bleach was recognisable. I could hear Ryan in my head. ‘Drink it.’


I frowned as I breathed in the bleach yet again but shook my head and got on with the jobs. By the time the day had ended, I had just finished all my tasks and was ready for my bed.


Ryan and my foster mother had already gone to sleep so I made sure the house was locked up and went to get ready for bed. I walked into my room and spotted my suitcase under the bed.


‘Why don’t I run away?’


The thought startled me but as I kept staring at the suitcase, it made sense. Neither of them wanted me here, and I didn’t want to go back to a care home, only to get pushed into another foster home where I wasn’t wanted.


The easiest thing to do was to leave them and let them be happy without me. I hurriedly but quietly packed my suitcase, I was tempted to find my iPod but decided not to bother, it wouldn’t have been charged anyways so it was pointless me trying to find it. I slowly made my way down the stairs. I looked for some cash to get me a bus to some unknown destination. I just needed to get out of there.


I found $150 and pocketed it, I quickly went up the stairs and grabbed a few things extra that I needed in order to carry out the task, and then I left.


As I walked down the road, I noticed it was getting lighter and so I knew that I wouldn’t have to wait too long to catch a bus.


The journey to the bus station was not as long as I thought it would be, once I arrived, I bought myself a ticket and sat waiting for the bus to come. I saw Sasha, a girl who I tried to get on with but I think I was too clingy for her so I left her alone. Funny thing is, I wasn’t trying to be clingy I just needed a friend, someone I could talk to, someone who would treat me like a human.






‘Going somewhere?’


‘Just to my old care home. I wanted to see some of my friends there.’


‘Oh, you never said.’


‘I didn’t think to tell you, it was a last minute thing anyways.’


‘You get dropped off?’
‘Yes. I told my foster mum to go back, she was tired and I think she wanted to get some more sleep.’ I tried to deflect attention away from myself so I asked ‘Why are you up so early?’


‘Oh, am going to see my little brother for a few days, just need a break from Indi and her gloomy mood.’


‘Romeo hasn’t been in touch?’


‘He died 2 nights ago, the doctor rang Dad as Romeo asked him and he went to see him. Indi was too distraught to go.’


Romeo didn’t say goodbye, he didn’t want her in the end so Indi is angry and grieving which is fair enough.’


‘Yeah I guess. My bus is in 10 minutes so I better go, what time is yours?’


’Twenty-five minutes. Take care.’


‘See you when I get back then.’


My head nods automatically as I let my body do the answering.




It felt so final, so finished and I wasn’t sure I wanted to say goodbye yet, part of me was ready to call her back and hug her but it didn’t feel right.





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Hours passed as I finally got to my destination, I was now in Melbourne, I was shaking at the thought of being so far from my safe zone, my comfort area but I had to forget the past and accept that it was done and dusted. My life was never going to be the same, never, it couldn’t be.



My phone beeped:


Ryan: Don’t come back.



I wasn’t expecting him to text me that, I had planned to live rough until I could earn some money and find a room somewhere so I could survive but those words broke a barrier in me that I didn’t know I had and I decided I was done. Done. It was dark so I found an alleyway. My decision to run away had also culminated in a decision not to carry on existing. No one wanted me. My parents abandoned me. My foster carers didn’t give a toss about me; I was just money to them.



I opened the suitcase and pulled out the bleach. I stared at it and then at my surroundings. A fitting place to die, a small back alley that no one cares about, it was full of rubbish, dying in a place full of rubbish just proved how rubbish I was.


I unscrewed the bleach and held it up to my nose, I breathed in the fumes and usually I would have retched at the smell but I didn’t, I just breathed in more fumes. I didn’t hate the smell, which was a sign for me that it was the end for me. I couldn’t carry on existing in a world where I was a nobody.



The bleach reached my lips and I close my eyes as I allow it to fall down my throat. It burned and my throat reacted in order to expel the liquid yet I force it down. I wasn’t going to let my weakness stop me from drinking. I had to end my life.



WORTHLESS. STUPID. REJECTED. ALONE. UNECCESSARY. These words spun around my mind as the bleach made its way into my system. I drop the bottle and feel my head spinning. My throat was burning and the fire in my system caused my body to lost control, I shook as I tried to get used to the burning feeling, but I COULDN’T.



It overwhelmed my system and I let it. I fell under, my eyes flickered and the last thing I saw was the black sky with the stars, thinking ‘soon I will amongst the stars…’ before the darkness took me and I fell spirally away from the earth into another existence entirely.





I felt something prod my shoulder, my body reacted and I kept thinking internally that something was wrong, I shouldn’t be here, I killed myself, its over. Finished. Finito. Done.






I slowly open my eyes, the light is directly in my sight and I scrunch up my face in reaction.



‘You’re okay, it’s okay.’






‘You’re in hospital.’ The doctor said.



‘I shouldn’t be here.’



I try to get up but my body rebels as the pain shoots through my system and I flop back down onto the bed.

‘It’s okay, your foster mother is outside, do you want to talk to her?’









‘I don’t want her here.’



‘Okay, fine, your social worker is here as well, I will have to update her.’



I shrugged weakly as I had no energy for anything else. The only thing running through my mind was how can I do it again but actually succeed this time?



‘I think you should see a counsellor.’



I shake my head and close my eyes so I didn’t have to deal with anything else. I was still trying to get my head around it all.



‘Can I come in?’



I open my eyes and see Ryan stood there; I didn’t want to fight him anymore. The doctor looks at me and I nod.



‘Okay, not for long, she needs her rest.’






I didn’t respond there was nothing I wanted or needed to say to him.



‘I told my mum everything, about how all the stuff was my fault, the money and accusing you of everything. I was wrong; I never ever actually thought you would try to end it. You have to believe I never wanted that.



I was cynical but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t be bothered to get my feelings out. No one cared what I thought.



‘I understand that you’re angry at me and I don’t blame you, I am the reason you’re here. The reason you tried to end it. I will carry that with me for the rest of my life.’



I closed my eyes, I could feel the bleach in my throat, it felt so real and happening, I couldn’t resist the chance to swallow and just exit the world; I didn’t want to exist anymore ever.





‘You want anything else?’ Ryan asked as I sat on the couch just released from the hospital.



‘Just leave me alone, I am fine, I just want to be alone.’



‘I will be upstairs if you need anything’



My response was to simply nod, I didn’t want to be back in the house but the care home was full. My social worker was trying to find someone else to foster me but honestly? I didn’t care. There was nothing left for me. Why live in a world where no one actually wanted me? Meh, I don’t even know why I waste emotion trying to care or to change that; I was done with life. Life was done with me.



‘Rosie, would you like Chinese or Thai?’



I smiled weakly as I knew they were both trying to make it up to me. ‘I don’t mind to be honest.’



‘Is there anything else you want?’



‘Actually there is.’



‘What is it?’



‘My iPod? I just miss my music.’



‘Of course, Ryan charged it for you; I put some money on it so you can download


some new apps.’



‘You can take the money out of my allowance.’



‘No, it’s a gift. I am truly sorry for not believing you when you said it wasn’t you.’



‘Its done, its over, leave it in the past. I have forgotten about it, I have to.’



‘So you don’t hate me?’



Ryan walked in.



‘No. You hurt me by accusing me of all those things when your life is perfect, you have your mum, your school life, your friends. What do I have? Parents who don’t want me, no friends, and being tossed from one foster home to the next. I haven’t lived anywhere long enough for me to call it home but that’s my life. I am used to it, the only thing that really hurt me was those two words you said to me but looking back, I don’t think that’s truly what you meant, you just wanted your life back and I got in the way.’



Ryan looked at me and I knew he didn’t know what to say back.



‘You don’t have to say anything, life goes on.’



‘I truly am sorry for everything.’




‘Don’t be. I overreacted, I just felt like I had no choice.’



I kept hoping that they would believe me because the next chance I got, I was going to succeed. My life was not worth living.












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