To Love Again

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. So, I hope you like where I’ve taken this....

Sixty

18 months later

Charlie sighed in frustration as she threw the book to the floor. Brax lowered his book and looked around to her in the bed. “Everything alright dear?” Brax asked.

“I don’t like anything,” Charlie exhaled. “Nothing feels right.” Charlie glanced back at the book of 1000 baby names that she flung to the floor.

“We still have time to find the right name,” Brax moved closer to Charlie in the bed and put his hand onto her neat little bump. “And we have a girl’s name so we could be sorted.” Brax gave a little smile before glancing back to the book he had, also a book of baby names.

“Yes but I don’t want to call a son Georgia,” Charlie exhaled. “So, we need to have a name ready.”

“Do we?” Brax questioned. “Maybe it’ll come to us as we see his face.” Brax kept rubbing Charlie’s bump as he spoke, smiling as he felt his baby moving.

“What about Oliver?” Charlie questioned, seemingly ignoring Brax’s comment about waiting till the baby arrived.

Brax screwed his face up. “Not a fan,” Brax said. “Bodhi?”

“Uhm....just no,” Charlie shook her head. “William?”

“Tyler?” Brax questioned.

“Oh my God we are never going to agree,” Charlie sounded frustrated. “Poor kid will be no name Braxton,” Charlie said and Brax started to laugh. “It’s not funny,” Charlie slapped his chest. “We need to find him a name.”

“Okay,” Brax took a deep breath. “I know a name you might like,” Brax said and Charlie looked to him intrigued. “Angelo.”

Charlie widened her eyes. She’d never expected Brax to suggest this and the thought had never crossed her mind. “Really?” Charlie said. “You’d be okay with calling your child after my husband?”

“Our child,” Brax corrected her. “And I know how much he means to you and if you wanted to honour him, I’d be okay with that,” Brax tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear as he spoke and Charlie felt herself welling up at his selflessness. “We could maybe give him James as a middle name and call him AJ for short,” Brax smiled a little. “What do you think?” Before Charlie had a chance to answer Brax spoke again. “Or if you’re not keen on AJ we could always call him Leo.” Brax said and a smile grew on Charlie’s face.

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?” Charlie asked, resting her head into his chest.

“I just want to make you happy.” Brax said and Charlie’s smile grew larger.

“Well thank you, but, no,” Brax felt Charlie’s head shake a little against him. “We’ll find a name that’s right for both of us and the baby.” Charlie said before she softly kissed his peck. Brax kissed her head before he threw the book onto the bedside table and flicked the side light out.

“Yeah,” Brax exhaled. “Goodnight. I love you.” Brax said once again kissing her head.

“Me too.” Charlie replied and Brax gave a smile as he rubbed her arm. He’d gotten used the fact that he probably wasn’t going to hear those 3 little words from her lips, or at least, being said to him. He’d heard her say it to Grace and Ruby plenty times, but of course that was different and he knew she loved him by the way she looked at him, the fact they were living together and having a baby and the fact she’d told him on many occasions that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but sometimes, Brax wished she could utter it from her lips, even just the once. He exhaled lightly before closing his eyes as Charlie snuggled further into him to sleep.

******

“Hey baby.” Xavier yawned as he rubbed his eyes.

“Are you awake?” Ruby laughed, seeing how tired her boyfriend looked though the computer screen.

“Just up,” Xavier yawned once again. “Joe’s 21st so we were out last night.” Xavier rubbed his eyes once again.

“Ah so it was a good night?” Ruby questioned and Xavier gave a nod before rubbing the side of his head.

“Too good maybe,” Xavier exhaled. “I haven’t drunk like that in a long time.” Xavier said and Ruby gave a little laugh.

“So you are feeling all hung over today?” Ruby questioned and Xavier gave a little nod, but quickly stopped as it hurt his head to do so.

“Aaahh,” Xavier groaned before taking a drink of water. “Anyways, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Ruby gave a little smile. She was currently on summer holidays from uni, Xavier having to finish up a placement with the Melbourne Marine Police before coming home next weekend for his holidays. “Did you eh....did you get the letter yet?” Ruby questioned, getting straight to the point of talking about it.

“It’s here.” Xavier held the envelope up, contained in it was the station Xavier would next be posted at. “You want me to open it now?” Xavier asked and Ruby gave a little nod. This placement was the longest one. He would be at this station for a year then he’d be properly a junior officer, usually given a job at the station he did his last placement. He’d been told to expect it could be anywhere in Australia and this worried Ruby. She didn’t want any more distance between them. He took a deep breath and opened up the envelope scanning over it, Ruby trying to read his face but he was managing to keep it pretty straight, Ruby not knowing by his reaction where he was going to be.

“Well?” Ruby bit her lip. Xavier looked up to the screen before bringing the paper up to the camera, going to let Ruby read it for herself. She squealed in delight as she read the words Yabbie Creek. Her boyfriend was coming home not only for the summer, but, hopefully now, for good.

******

“Buddy,” Grace came running through to what once was the guest room that was now in the starts of being turned into a nursery for the baby. “It my birday tomorrow.” Grace danced around the room, Lola ragdoll still very much a beloved item of Grace’s flopping around in her arms.

“Yeah,” Brax gave her a smile. “4 years old huh?” Brax opened the tin of soft yellow paint that would be going on 3 of the walls, the 4th being kept white and Bianca had used her artistic skills and drawn and painted a family of giraffes onto the wall.

“Yeah this much,” Grace held 4 fingers up, giving a big grin. “And Lucy too.” Grace gave a little jump. “We ‘ave party.”

“Wow that’ll be good eh?” Brax poured some of the paint into the tray and Grace nodded as she sat down next to the tray watching intently as the paint dripped onto it.

“That a nice colour,” Grace pointed her finger out. “Yellow is pretty.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Brax said, putting the lid back on the tin and putting it to the side for now. “You want to help me paint?” Brax questioned and Grace nodded as she jumped up all excited.

“Not in that dress you’re not,” Grace looked up as she heard her mother’s voice and saw Charlie leaning against the door frame. “C’mon we’ll go get you changed then you can help Brax.”

Grace frowned before she stood up and ran across the room taking Charlie’s hand and walking down the hall to her bedroom. Grace put Lola down in her bed as gently patted her head, the way Charlie does with her, before placing a kiss onto her forehead. “She going to nap.” Grace said as she looked up at her mother and Charlie laughed a little, seeing Grace being very motherly with her dolls let her see how great a big sister she was going to be.

“Come over here.” Charlie said as she pulled out a relatively old pair of shorts that she wouldn’t mind getting covered in paint, which would most likely happen. Grace took her dress off before running over to her mother and slipping into her shorts. Charlie pulled an old t-shirt from the drawer and put it onto her daughter.

“You paint mummy?” Grace questioned as she put her hand onto Charlie’s stomach, smiling as the baby kicked right in that moment.

“No, I have to go to work,” Charlie put her hand onto the top of Grace’s chest of drawers and pulled herself back up to standing. “But you have fun painting with Brax.” Charlie ruffled Grace’s hair before they walked back down the hall together, Grace running into the room and grabbing the brush Brax had put into the tray for her.

“What bit I do?” Grace held her hands out to the side.

“You see that square I’ve made there?” Brax said pointing to an area when he’d drawn a big square with the paint and Grace nodded her head. “You paint the inside of that for me, okay?” Brax said and Grace jumped up excitedly before picking up her paint brush and getting to work.

“Have a nice day,” Charlie walked into the room and over to her boyfriend. “We still on for dinner at the restaurant?” Charlie questioned and Brax gave a little nod. “Great,” Charlie smiled. “I’ll see you later then.” Charlie and Brax shared a kiss.

“And me?” Grace questioned, looking up to her mother. Charlie bent down and kissed Grace goodbye before looking to Brax as she held her hand out. Brax lifted her back to her feet and she gave him a smile of thanks.

“You be good and I’ll see you at the restaurant later okay?” Charlie said and Grace gave a nod as she went back to her painting.

“Be safe.” Brax said and Charlie nodded as she gave him another kiss before leaving for work, leaving Brax and Grace to paint the baby’s room.

[Danni02]

Thank you Sarah, Chax, emmamurphy8, Spotd1 and beebee for the comments.

Sixty-one

Grace danced back into the house after dinner in the restaurant with her mother, Brax and Ruby. Ruby had been overly excitedly, mentioning Xavier coming back to the bay about 10 times more than she actually needed to. “Right missus calm down.” Charlie put her arms around her daughter, holding her still.

“My birday party mummy.” Grace told her.

“Not till tomorrow,” Charlie said. “Right now its bath then bed time,” Charlie ran her hand through Grace’s hair. “Go on, through to the bathroom.” Grace ran off to the bathroom, shouting out about what bath toys she’d like to bring in with her.

“I’ll bath her if you want. You two just veg out.” Ruby said and Charlie and Brax exchanged a glance before Charlie looked back to Ruby and gave a nod.

“Sure, thanks.” Charlie smiled at Ruby as she walked down to the bathroom. Charlie exhaled as she walked over to the couch and sat down, taking her work boots off her feet before falling back, happy to be resting. Brax sat down on the couch and patted his thighs and Charlie turned in the couch resting her feet against Brax and she put a cushion behind her and rested herself against the arm of the couch.

“You know I can’t believe you turned up to a family dinner with your work uniform on.” Brax said as he took Charlie socks off before he started massaging her foot.

“If I came home to get changed I would have collapsed on that bed and you’d still be waiting on me yet,” Charlie told him and Brax gave a little laugh. “It’s hard work this pregnant thing,” Charlie said as she rubbed her bump. “It’s not easy carrying some very precious cargo.”

“I’ll give you that,” Brax said. “And I’ll think about carrying the next one,” Brax joked and Charlie raised her eyebrows, not quiet believing that Brax was already talking about the next one when this one was still to be born. “Not going to make any promises though.” Brax gave a little laugh.

“Ahh is that so?” Charlie questioned and Brax nodded. “Awfully sweet of you Darryl.” Charlie grinned.

“Well I’d like to think I’m a sweet guy,” Brax gave her a cheeky grin, continuing to press down hard on the pressure points of Charlie’s feet. “Charlotte.” Brax raised his eyebrows.

“Sweet guys also get their girlfriends and the mother of their child a bacon sandwich.” Charlie said, rubbing her stomach as she spoke.

“You’ve just had a 3 course meal,” Brax laughed. “And you ate some of Grace’s pizza.” Brax added, wondering where Charlie had managed to put it all.

“I’m still hungry,” Charlie said before she pouted at Brax. “Please baby.” Charlie continued to pout and also added puppy dog eyes, for better effect.

Brax laughed he took Charlie’s legs from his and stood up from the couch. “You just want bacon or do you want one of your weird pregnancy concoctions?” Brax questioned.

“Just bacon will do,” Charlie answered. “Maybe a little bit cheese. And some pickled onions.”

“Okay so that’s not bad,” Brax exhaled. “Just like a normal sandwich really.” Brax made his way to the kitchen to make Charlie what she wanted.

“Yes,” Charlie gave a little laugh. “I can be sensible sometimes, you know.” Charlie said as Brax switched the grill on.

“Good,” Brax replied. “I was starting to think this baby had knocked you off the plot.” Brax gave a little laugh as he took the bacon from the packet and put it into the grill pan.

“I ate chalk once,” Charlie told him. “When I was pregnant with Grace.”

Brax turned to face Charlie, a little shocked. “Chalk?” Brax questioned. “Chalk? Like, blackboard chalk?”

“What other kinda chalk is there?” Charlie questioned and Brax gave a little shrug before putting the bacon under the grill. “Also, around my 7th month with Grace was when my libido rocketed,” Charlie raised her eyebrows and Brax gave her a grin. Their sex life the last few months had been sparse to say the least, and although Brax understood she was pregnant and her hormones would be forever changing, he was excited at the thought of being intimate with Charlie.

“Ah so you might want an early night tonight?” Brax questioned as he took the cheese from the fridge and grabbed the cheese knife to cut it into slices.

“I think it’ll be straight to bed after this sandwich.” Charlie said and Brax raised his eyebrows as he smiled around at her before turning his attention back to the sandwich but still thinking about the night he was going to get.

******

It was Grace and Lucy’s 4th birthday party and they had a couple of friends from Kindy there with them. The girls had had a fantastic time playing games with their friends in the garden and of course playing on the bouncy castle Heath had gotten for them. Bianca and Charlie had gone inside to get the girls’ cakes so they could all sing happy birthday before of course eating cake. “Look at me, mummy.” Ruby said, walking with Bianca’s 11 month old, holding her by the hands as she walked, albeit rather unsteadily, into the house.

“Aww who’s a clever girl?” Bianca questioned and Molly gave a squeal of delight, showing off the 5 teeth she had. Molly kicked her leg out as she squealed and Bianca lifted her daughter into her arms, placing a kiss on her cheek as Molly’s little hands grabbed onto Bianca’s hair. Molly, right now loving grabbing things. Molly, like Lucy had her mother’s eyes and blonde hair, but she also looked like Bianca, unlike Lucy who looked more like Heath.

“Ahh ma eee a.” Molly babbled.

“That’s right.” Bianca cooed before once again kissing her daughter. Charlie smiled as she watched the scene before running her hand over her own stomach. Charlie was 30 weeks pregnant, and although the baby was an earlier than planned addition and Charlie did freak out for a while that she was going to miscarry this one too, she was now excited to be having a baby in the house again, given her current baby was now 4 years old. She winced a little as she felt a slight cramp in her stomach which didn’t seem to go unnoticed by Bianca.

“You okay?” Bianca questioned.

“Mmm,” Charlie gave a little nod. “Just twinges.” Charlie ran her hand over her stomach before taking a deep breath, breathing through the pain she felt.

“You sure?” Ruby questioned, concerned for her mother. “Do you want me to get Brax?”

“No, I don’t need Brax,” Charlie replied. “I’m fine now.” Charlie said forcing a smile as she picked the candle up from the table and stuck the little 4 into the Peppa Pig cake as Bianca still battled with Molly to get her hands off her hair.

“Everyone is sitting at the table so we’re ready for the cakes.” Ruby said as she picked up the other 4 candle and stuck it into an identical cake that said the name Lucy around the bottom, the other cake saying Grace. Charlie picked up the matches and struck one, lighting the candles of both cakes. Bianca walked out in front, Molly in her arms, still not giving up on her mother’s hair. She made sure everyone was still sitting around the table outside before looking back to Charlie and giving a little nod. Charlie and Ruby walked out with the cakes as they sang happy birthday to the girls. Grace going shy and hiding against Brax and Lucy clapped and cheered, loving the attention.

The girls blew the candles out before Brax and Heath leaned forward and took the candles away before the girls could grab them. “Can we eat?” Hattie, one of the little girls that were there asked.

“Yeah, we’ll just get it cut.” April said picking up the knife and cutting into the first cake.

“I no like cake.” Said Samantha, the other little girl who’d been invited.

“You don’t?” Charlie questioned and Samantha shook her head as she took a drink of her juice box.

“Do you like ice-cream?” Charlie questioned and Samantha widened her eyes as she gave a nod of her head.

“Of course,” Bianca said. “Every little girl likes ice-cream huh?” Bianca said as she sat down and pulled one of the plates of cake over to her, Molly immediately grabbing a big chunk with her hand and stuffing it into her mouth.

“I’ll go get you some ice-cream then.” Charlie said walking back into the house as she once again grabbed her stomach as a searing pain shot through her. She winced as she grabbed onto the chair at the kitchen table before she shouted out for Brax.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Sixty-two

Charlie had gone into premature labour and they’d given her injections to try to stop it and she had also been given steroid injections to help the baby’s lung development, with early arrival being a great possibility. “Brax I’m scared.” Charlie was holding tightly onto his hand.

“It’s going to be okay,” Brax tried to sound positive. Even though he was worried for his unborn child, he knew right now he needed to keep Charlie strong. “These injections will stop the labour and we’ll keep you well rested and you and the baby will be fine.”

“No, it doesn’t feel like it’s stopping,” Charlie grabbed his hand even tighter as she dug her chin into her chest breathing through what felt like a contraction. “Ahh you need to get the doctor back,” Charlie told him. “Get the doctor.” Charlie moaned. Brax ran from the room and went crashing into the chairs that were in the corridor. He cursed and rubbed over his shin before standing back up and continuing to run frantically, looking for the doctor.

“Dr Millar,” Brax was relieved to find her quickly. “It’s Charlie. I think the baby is going to come.” Brax said and he and Dr Millar walked quickly back to the room. Charlie immediately grabbed Brax’s hand again as she breathed through what she knew from Grace’s birth was definitely a contraction. Dr Millar checked Charlie before looking up to them, her lips pursing together.

“This baby is coming now.” Dr Millar told them and Brax swallowed, overcome with worry. 1....3 weeks early wasn’t that big of a deal but this baby was going to be 10 weeks early. He looked down to Charlie who had a tear rolling down her cheek and knew more than ever that he had to help her through this and he needed to stay strong.

******

Samantha and Hattie’s parents had been called and both girls had been picked up within 5 minutes of each other. Heath had taken Lucy and Molly home but April and Bianca had stayed back at Charlie’s place to stay with a very worried Ruby. April had made a start to cleaning up and Bianca went through the house to find where Ruby had run off to. She found her in the nursery, sitting in the middle of the newly painted room, holding a little white and yellow stripy baby grow in her hands, a tear rolling down her cheek. “Is Grace okay?” Ruby looked up as she heard footsteps.

“She’s playing in her room.” Bianca answered, sitting down in front of Ruby.

“What if she’s lost the baby?” Ruby questioned. “Miscarriages still happen at this stage, right?”

“I think it would be known as stillbirth by now,” Bianca said but then immediately regretted saying that, wondering what has possessed her to say such a thing as she saw the worry increase on Ruby’s face. “No, I mean....” Bianca pursed her lips together. “It’ll probably just be Braxton Hicks.” Bianca said, trying to make herself believe that’s all it would be, but she was very worried for her friends.

“Yeah,” Ruby took a deep breath. “I remember she had them a lot with Grace,” Ruby exhaled. “Braxton Hicks, that’s what it’ll be.” Ruby tried to sound confident. Believing anything else was just too hard. They’d already lost so many people from their lives; it wouldn’t be fair if they lost another.

“I can’t say I had them much with Lucy but with Molly....oh boy,” Bianca widened her eyes. “I remember we even went to the hospital once we were that sure it was the real thing but I got sent home again.” Bianca told her.

“And mum will too,” Ruby said. “They’ll check her over and she’ll be okay to go.” Ruby exhaled, knowing she needed to stay positive.

“I’m sure you’ll be right.” Bianca gave her a smile.

“Do you think,” Ruby pursed her lips together. “Can you and April stay till mum gets home?” Ruby questioned and Bianca gave a little nod.

“Of course we can.” Bianca smiled as she rubbed the back of Ruby’s head. Even though she was 19, coming up for 20, Bianca could see she still wanted to be looked after right now.

“You did a really good job in here,” Ruby smiled as she looked to the painting Bianca had done. “It’s great.” Bianca looked around to the drawing that she’d done and gave a little smile.

“It’s alright.” Bianca exhaled.

“Don’t be modest,” Ruby said, nudging her arm. “It’s amazing. Baby is going to love growing up in here,” Ruby smiled, looking back down to the baby grow. “I think she’s having another girl,” Ruby exhaled. “I know Grace would be happy with a sister but I think she just wants to be the same as Lucy,” Ruby gave a little laugh. “She’s going to be a great big sister though,” Ruby said. “She’s such a caring little soul.”

“She is,” Bianca smiled. “She’s been practising on Molly so that baby is going to have one great big sister,” Bianca smiled and Ruby looked at Bianca, her mouth open in shock and her eyes widening. “I’m sorry, two great big sisters.”

“That’s more like it,” Ruby gave a little laugh. “C’mon, let’s go see what this monkey is up to.” Ruby stood up from the floor and put the baby grow back in the drawer before she and Bianca left the room to check on Grace.

******

Charlie was ready to push. She didn’t want too. She didn’t want her child to be born yet. It wasn’t time. It was early. 10 weeks was a scary sounding early. “Okay Charlie, we need you to give us a big push.” Dr Millar said as the midwife was also at her lower end, while another two nurses or midwifes, Brax wasn’t quite so sure who they were was also in the room, getting stuff ready for the baby’s arrival.

“No,” Charlie’s voice sounded like it was about to break. “I can’t. It’s too early.” Charlie sniffed back and the doctor looked up to Brax.

“Sweetie, you’ve got to do this,” Brax spoke softly. “The nurses are right here to take care of the little one, but, it’s safer now if we give birth,” Brax said running his hand over the top of her head as he spoke. Charlie pursed her lips together she dug her chin into her chest and gave an almighty push. She tightened her grip on Brax’s hand before letting out a gasp at the pain she was in. “C’mon sweetheart, you’re doing fantastic.” Brax hated to see his girlfriend, the woman he loved and the mother of his child in so much pain, but knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do right now was support her the best he could. Charlie gave a few more pushes before laying her head back onto the pillow, her breathing all heavy as she was out of breath.

“You’re doing fantastic, Charlie,” The midwife rubbed her leg. “You’re almost crowning.”

Charlie pushed as hard as she could for what felt like forever before once again, laying her back to the pillows and took a few breaths. “Oh God.” Brax put his other hand onto his chest as he looked and saw the baby’s head was nearly out and he couldn’t help but notice how small it was.

“You’re almost done, Charlie,” The midwife gave her a smile. “A few more pushes then we’ll do the rest,” Charlie pushed and pushed, all the time her grip on Brax’s hand becoming stronger to the point where Brax was actually hurting, but, he knew that what he was feeling right now was nothing to what Charlie was going through. “That’s it.” The midwife said as she pulled the baby by the shoulders.

“Oh God,” Brax instantly felt himself well up as he saw his tiny baby. “It’s a boy,” Brax said, overcome with emotion. “We got a boy,” Brax looked down to Charlie and saw tears rolling down her cheeks. Brax cut the cord and was expecting Charlie to be allowed to hold him, but the nurses whisked him away. “What....where are they talking him?” Brax questioned watching as they left the room with the baby.

“Go Brax,” Charlie told him. “You have to go with him,” Charlie pushed on his arm. “Go with our son,” Charlie said and Brax looked to Charlie, not wanting to leave her, but he also wanted to be with his son. “Go.” Charlie used any energy she had left to yell out at Brax before he ran off after the nurses and his baby. Charlie put her head back onto the pillows and shut her eyes, praying that her baby would be okay, but couldn’t help noticing that she hadn’t heard any cries from him when he was born.

[Danni02]

Thank you Sarah, Spotd1, beebee and RoRo90 for the comments.

Sixty-three

The sign on the incubator read Baby Boy Buckton-Braxton. His weight was listed as 3lbs 2oz and he was 16 inches long. He had a big tube coming from his mouth and it had a part going over his nose. It was called a CPAP machine and it helped him breath. A second tube was for feeding and he had wires coming from him that were attached to an apnea monitor which would alert the nurses if he stopped breathing. He was wearing a little baby blue hat on his head and a tiny nappy covered his bottom. Brax put his hand onto the incubator, looking down at his son, the tubes and wires unsettling him a little. “Has someone explained what they’re for?” Brax looked up as he heard a voice.

“Yes,” Brax answered, rubbing his hand over his eyes that were red and blotchy from tears that wanted to fall. Tears of worry and fear but also tears of love that he already felt for his baby son. “But can you tell me again?” Brax’s voice was quiet as he kept his gaze on his son.

“It’s all a bit overwhelming in here, isn’t it?” The nurse – Jo – rubbed his arm and Brax gave a little nod. “Well these wires here are attached to an apnea monitor which will beep if your son forgets to breath and the blue one coming from his mouth is a CPAP machine which gives him a little help with breathing also,” Jo paused so Brax could take what she’d told him in. “And this one is a feeding tube which is where he’ll get his milk until he is able to breathe on his own and of course until he learns to suckle.”

“And apart from that,” Brax cleared a lump from his throat. “The breathing, that’s your main concern?”

“He’s very healthy for a preterm baby,” Jo gave a little smile. “His lungs are a little under developed but that seems to be his only problem.”

“How long will he be in here for?” Brax questioned, his gaze never lifting from looking at his son.

“I don’t have an answer for you, unfortunately,” Jo exhaled. “Every baby is different and we’ll just need to take each day as it comes.”

Brax’s lips pursed together as he gave a little nod. “And you are his nurse?” Brax questioned, looking to her very briefly for the first time. She had one of those faces that you could just trust. She looked so friendly and Brax trusted to leave his son in her care. She was young, not to long out of uni Brax thought.

“One of them,” Jo gave a little nod. “But all the staff here in the NICU are wonderful. He’s in the best possible care,” Jo looked down to the baby and studied what she could see of his face. “He’s a gorgeous little thing.”

Brax opened his mouth to reply, but stopped as the NICU doors opened and Ruby and Grace came into the room. “Ohhh the baby,” Grace ran over to him and Brax lifted her up to see into the incubator to see her little brother. “Is this my Georgia?”

“No,” Brax answered. “He’s a boy so we can’t call him Georgia.”

“Well what him name?” Grace questioned.

“We don’t have one picked yet.” Brax said, hugging Grace into him, enjoying the comfort the little girl brought.

“Oh,” Grace scratched the side of her head before looking to Jo. “Who she?”

“Hello, I’m Jo,” Jo held her hand out and Grace shook her hand very briefly. “I’m going to look after your brother for a little while.”

“Oh okay,” Grace gave her a smile. “Do you like my dress?” Grace questioned, patting down her front. She was wearing a white dress with lilac coloured flowers on it.

“It’s very pretty.” Jo answered before glancing at Ruby who was looking down to the baby.

“It my birday dress,” Grace told her. “I’s 4 now.”

“Ah it’s your birthday today?” Jo asked and Grace gave a nod.

“Well Happy Birthday,” Jo said. “That’s special getting to share a birthday with your brother.”

“Yeah,” Grace nodded before looking back down to the baby. “What all them?” Grace asked as she pointed to the tubes and wires.

“Well because he was born a little early, he needs to help to breathe right now, so they are there to help him with that,” Jo told her and Grace gave a little nod of understanding. “Well I’ll let you spend some time with your family.” Jo gave Brax a smile before leaving them alone.

“Where’s mum?” Ruby questioned, keeping her gaze on the baby.

“She wouldn’t come,” Brax cleared his throat. “I eh....I tried.” Brax gave a little shrug.

Ruby pursed her lips together. She’d never seen Brax look so lost and broken before. Never seen him looking so helpless. “I’ll go talk to her.” Ruby rubbed Brax’s arm before leaving him and Grace with the baby as she went to talk to her mother.

******

Ruby knocked on the door before walking into the room. “Hey,” She took a seat on the chair next to her mother’s bed. “What you doing in here and not with Brax and your gorgeous son?”

“I’ve let him down.” Charlie said, a break in her voice like she was about to cry.

“Who?” Ruby questioned.

“Brax...the baby,” Charlie answered. “I was supposed to be able to carry him. To look after him until he was ready, but, he’s here and he’s not ready to be.” Charlie pulled at her hospital ID bracelet as she spoke.

“You haven’t let anyone down,” Ruby shook her head as she leaned forward and rubbed Charlie’s shoulder. “You can’t control when this happens,” Ruby spoke softly. “It’s just....what’s supposed to, I guess.”

Charlie pursed her lips together as she bowed her head down. “We had sex last night,” Charlie said and Ruby screwed her face up, wondering why Charlie was saying this. “Sex can induce labour,” Charlie said. “What if...what if that’s why -”

“Mum,” Ruby interrupted her. “It’s nothing you’ve done. It’s just....it’s happened and why and how it did isn’t important. What is, is your little boy. You’re baby who wants to see his mummy. He needs you around.” Ruby once again rubbed her shoulder, she understood that Charlie would be looking for answers but unfortunately she probably would never get any.

“What if....what if we get attached and bond and then he....” Charlie trailed off, not wanting to say it. She hated even thinking it.

“No,” Ruby shook her head. “That kid is half Buckton half Braxton,” Ruby said. “He’s all fighter,” Ruby gave a little smile as she squeezed her mother’s shoulder. “So you going to come see your little boy?”

Charlie took a deep breath, knowing she needed too. And she wanted to, of course she did, she was just scared of what could happen. She pursed her lips together and gave a shy nod before she got out of the bed. Ruby took her hand, most likely in an act of comfort as they walked to the NICU. Charlie stood outside of the room and looked in, seeing Brax with Grace in his arms, talking and looking down to the baby. She hated seeing him looking so broken and worse still she felt like it was her fault he was like this. She took a deep breath before she walked into the room, Grace grinning as she saw her mother.

“This is my best birday present ever mummy.” Grace screeched and immediately that set Charlie off into tears as they fast came streaming out of her eyes. She walked forward and snuggled into Brax’s side as Grace was taking up the other. Brax wrapped one arm around her and rubbed her back in comfort as he placed a kiss on her head before they looked down to their son.

“I’m sorry.” Charlie mumbled as she looked at her son seeing he was all tubes and wires. Brax wasn’t sure if she was apologising to him or the baby or both of them but chose in that moment not to say anything. It wasn’t needed right now. He just remained silent as the four of them looked down to the baby, his tiny chest moving up and down as he took each breath.

[Danni02]

Thank you Chax, Sarah, beebee, emmamurphy8, Spotd1 and Pembie for the comments.

Sixty-Four

Bianca knocked softly on the door before walking into Charlie’s room. “Hey.” Bianca spoke softly as she walked in to see her friend. She was holding a little giraffe teddy, buying it because it would match nicely with the giraffe theme of the nursery. Charlie gave her friend a weak smile as she took the teddy in her hand. “This him?” Bianca picked up a picture that was on Charlie’s bedside table. Without looking down to it, Charlie gave a little nod. “He looks like Brax,” Bianca said. Charlie ran her thumb over the softness of the giraffe. On seeing she wasn’t about to get a reply, Bianca spoke again. “Does he have a name yet?” Bianca questioned and Charlie shook her head. “Well he was only born yesterday. Not even 24 hours old yet so you still have time to decide,” Bianca pursed her lips together. Trying to get Charlie to talk right now was like trying to get blood from a stone. Of course Bianca couldn’t begin to understand what she going through right now. Although she was early, Lucy was only born 2 weeks before her due date and was perfectly fine and Molly was born a day after she was due to arrive. “The girls are here too,” Bianca told her friend. “I hope you don’t mind but they wanted to see the baby. Or well, Lucy did,” Bianca said. “Brax has taken them to the canteen for a drink right now though,” Bianca exhaled. “Born on the same day as Grace and Lucy though,” Bianca said. “What are the chances? 3 of our 5 kids born on the same day.”

“One of them shouldn’t be,” Charlie spoke quietly as she kept looking down to the giraffe. “The end of February he was due and it’s only the middle of December and he’s here,” Bianca noticed a tear rolling down her cheek as she spoke. “I don’t understand....Rubes was pretty much on her due date and Grace was 2 weeks late,” Charlie said, remembering she was almost going in to be induced but Grace arrived on her own just in time to avoid that. “But now.... he’s 10 weeks early. It just....it doesn’t make sense.”

Bianca could see how much Charlie wanted to make sense of this. How much she wanted an answer, but, unfortunately she couldn’t give her one, no matter how much she wanted to. “Charlie, it’s happened and.....now you have to focus on keeping yourself strong and healthy for that little boy,” Bianca said. “He’s your priority. Nothing else matters right now.”

“No,” Charlie wiped her hand over her eyes. “Nothing else does. Your right,” Charlie took a deep breath. “He’s eh....he’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” Charlie questioned.

Bianca exhaled. How was she supposed to answer that? Of course she hoped he would be fine but she didn’t know what was going to happen. “I’m sure he will. Look who his parents are,” Bianca rubbed Charlie’s arm. “He’ll be a fighter.”

Charlie gave a weak smile. “You want to see him?” Charlie questioned and Bianca gave a nod.

“I’d love to.” Bianca answered.

Charlie took a deep breath before getting out of bed and walking with her friend to the NICU to show her her baby son.

******

Bianca and the girls were long gone. Ruby had been to visit and when she left she took Grace with her to give her some dinner then to bathe and bed her. Charlie and Brax were in the NICU with their baby son. Charlie’s hand was in the little hole at the side of the incubator, her index finger gently stroking his tiny arm. She longed to hold him and give him a proper hug, but, right now they were told that wasn’t an option. Brax was holding the little panda teddy that he and Grace had brought on their arrival that morning, while the little giraffe Bianca and the girls had brought was sitting on top of the incubator. “Do you hate me?” Charlie questioned, her gaze staying on her baby.

Brax looked at her stunned at the question. Of course he didn’t hate her. He far from hated her. “Of course I don’t,” Brax stood up from the chair and walked behind Charlie and wrapped his arm around her from behind. “I love you so much. I couldn’t ever hate you.”

“Not even when I could have killed our son?” Charlie questioned, her heart hurting with the guilt she felt at her son lying in that incubator.

“Charlie,” Brax exhaled. “This was not your fault,” Brax spoke softly. “And Jo said he is really healthy for a baby of 10 weeks early,” Brax told her. “He’s going to be just fine.” Brax had to believe this because thinking anything else was just too much to bear. Charlie pursed her lips together. No matter how positive she was trying to stay, she couldn’t help but having a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something would go wrong.

“He’s all Braxton,” Charlie said looking at his little face. “He looks so much like you.”

“Going to be a little heartbreaker this one,” Charlie and Brax looked up to see Jo standing next to the incubator. “How’s mum feeling today?”

“Guilty, helpless.” Charlie exhaled.

“It’s normal for most preemie mums to feel like that at first,” Jo told her as she opened the side of the incubator and checked the baby’s CPAP tube before checking his temperature. “But it’s not your fault,” Jo told her. “Sometimes it helps if you talk with other preemie mums,” Jo told her glancing at the woman at the back of the room, looking into an incubator. “Share and help each other through this experience,” Charlie looked to the woman and thought she recognised her before looking back to Jo. “And of course preemie fathers are often seen talking,” Jo said looking to Brax. He gave her a weak smile but at the same time thought maybe talking with other people going through the same experience would be helpful. Of course Bianca and Heath would be there for them, but, they didn’t really know what was going on with them right now, not like the other people who’s babies were also in here. “So, you guys came up with a name for this little one yet?”

“Nah not yet.” Brax gave a yawn looking to the clock on the wall seeing it was after 10pm. The visiting hours in the NICU were open 24 hours for parents and siblings, something Brax appreciated but also it meant he could lose track of how long he’d actually been there for.

“You should get some rest,” Jo told him. “Don’t overdo it these first couple of days,” Jo said. “NICU time can be long and stressful. Make sure you still rest plenty.”

Brax gave her a little smile. “Yeah, I do think I could do with some sleep,” Brax yawned again. “I’ll be back first thing with Grace though,” Brax said kissing Charlie’s cheek. “You get some rest soon too, okay?”Brax gave her a smile and Charlie nodded. “And tomorrow we really need to name the little guy,” Brax said and Charlie gave a little nod. “See you.” Brax rubbed her arm before leaving.

“Don’t worry too much about the name,” Jo told her. “It’s better to wait till you get the right one than call him something just for the sake of it,” Jo said. “Little boy over there was 16 days old before he got a name.”

“Well I hope we don’t take as long as that,” Charlie smiled as she looked down to her baby. “We had a name all ready for a girl but we just can’t seem to find a boy’s name we both like enough to call him.” Charlie told Jo.

“One day,” Jo said before she clicked her fingers. “It’ll come just like that. Now, I’ll leave you to your son, but like your partner said, don’t stay up to much longer. You need rest too.” Jo said before she walked over to the next incubator to check over that baby.

“Charlie?” Charlie looked up as she heard her name being called. “Charlie Rosetta?”

“Gail?” Charlie questioned, sure that’s who it was.

“I thought it was you.” Gail surprised Charlie by giving her a hug. Charlie and Gail had met over 3 and a half years ago now when their husbands were both battling cancer. They were at the same chemo session and for a while and Charlie and Gail had built up a nice friendship but had unfortunately lost contact when they’d moved to Perth so her husband could receive specialist treatment.

“Hi,” Charlie said. “Eh.” Charlie exhaled feeling shocked to see her.

“I know it’s a surprise right,” Gail said. “Richard got the all clear so we moved back here. Our little Daisy was born at 28 weeks,” Gail told her as she pointed to the incubator at the end of the room. “One thing after another isn’t it?”

“Eh yeah,” Charlie swallowed. Seeing Gail after all this time brought back memories of Angelo and she didn’t need that on top of worrying for her son. She saw Gail looking down at her son and felt like she should say something. “He doesn’t have a name yet,” Charlie told her. “He was born yesterday. 10 weeks early.”

“Oh it’s hard, isn’t it?” Gail asked. “Daisy’s been in here 3 weeks so far. She’s uhm...well it’s not been an easy ride so far,” Gail spoke sadly. “So, Angelo’s home for the night, I guess? Oh I can’t wait till Richard and him meet again. It’ll be great to see.”

“Uhm,” Charlie pursed her lips together before she looked down. “Angelo died.” Charlie said quietly.

“Oh I am so sorry.” Gail put her hand onto Charlie’s arm and rubbed it gently.

“It’s....” Charlie exhaled. “Not long after you left really,” Charlie told her before she cleared her throat. “But I’m with a great guy now and we have our son,” Charlie looked back to the baby. “And Grace just adores him and Ruby and him get on great.”

“Oh of course you had little Grace,” Gail said. “I guess she won’t be so little now.”

“She was four yesterday. December 16th. They share a birthday.” Charlie said.

“Aw that’s special,” Gail looked at the boy and smiled at his handsomeness. “Anyways, I’m heading home now but I’m sure I’ll see you here tomorrow.” Gail said before she walked out of the NICU. Charlie put her hand onto her chest and exhaled before she too left the NICU to try to get sleep.

[Danni02]

Thank you Chax, Sarah, beebee, Sabrina and pembie for the comments.

Sixty-five

Brax decided to go for an early morning surf. He wanted to clear his head of bad feelings and the dream he had in which his son had died. He hoped to God that that dream was not a premonition of things to come and knew for sure he wasn’t about to talk to anyone else about it. Ruby had given Grace some breakfast and was now getting her ready to go to the hospital to see her mother and baby brother. “Right, unless you plan on wearing that Peppa Pig night dress to the hospital I think we need to get you into something else.”

“Ruby,” Grace giggled. “I can’t wear my jammies to the hospital.” Grace gasped, sounding like she was being asked to do the most terrible thing.

Ruby laughed as she opened Grace’s wardrobe. “Well I expect you’d like to wear a dress?”

“Oh yes,” Grace gave a nod of her head, Grace very much a pretty dress kind of girl. “Okay,” Ruby pursed her lips together. “How about this one?” Ruby pulled out a simple red sundress from the wardrobe and Grace looked to it shaking her head. Ruby put the dress back and pulled out a pink and white striped dress, Grace once again declining wearing it. “Hmm, well what one?” Ruby sighed picking out a white dress with different coloured polka dots on. “This one is cool and it’s new,” Ruby said. “I bet you’d look pretty in that for seeing the baby.” Grace studied the dress before once again shaking her head. She ran over to her dress up box and pulled out her Snow White dress.

“I wear this one.” Grace grinned from ear to ear as she held the dress up.

Ruby gave a little laugh. “You can’t be Snow White.”

“I can,” Grace replied. “I put it on an I Snow White.” Grace said holding her hands out to the side before batting her eyelashes at her sister.

“Okay,” Ruby sighed. “You can be Snow White,” Grace cheered before dropping the dress to the ground and pulling her nightdress and panties off. Ruby walked over to the drawers and pulled out a fresh pair of panties, handing them down to Grace. She got them onto herself before picking up the dress, Ruby turning it the right way before Grace pulled it down onto her body. Ruby did the zip up at the back before Grace gave a twirl and a big smile. “Right,” Ruby laughed. “What do you want your hair like today?”

“Uhm,” Grace put her hand onto her chin as she thought about this. “Piggy plaits.” Grace said.

“Piggy plaits,” Ruby gave another laugh. “You mean pig tails?” Ruby questioned and Grace nodded. Ruby grabbed her brush from the dresser and two red hair bobbles. She parted Grace’s hair and brushed it for a little while, Grace moaning as the brush went through some tugs. “Stand still,” Ruby said, grabbing on Grace’s arm. Grace frowned before standing still as Ruby started pleating the first side before looping the red bobble around the bottom of the plait. She did the other side before turning Grace back around to face her. “Cute as a button.” Ruby cooed as she hit her index finger against Grace’s nose.

“You too,” Grace hit Ruby’s nose back and Ruby laughed at her sisters cute little face that was staring up at her. “I gets me shoes,” Grace ran back over to the dress up box and pulled out her little yellow ballet pumps that went with her Snow White dress. She sat down on the floor and put her shoes onto her feet.

“I’s ready,” Grace jumped up to her feet. “Lets go see my baby.” Grace ran out her bedroom and Ruby chased after her.

“We need to wait on Brax coming back from surfing fist.” Ruby said holding her sister back from the door.

“Oh yes my buddy,” Grace said, giving a little jump. “Oh Ruby.” Grace slapped her palms off her cheeks as she thought of something.

“What?” Ruby looked intrigued at what Grace was about to say.

“Well will mummy and my baby be home for Santa?” Grace questioned.

Ruby pursed her lips together. “I’m not sure sweetie,” Ruby rubbed Grace’s cheek. “I think mummy will be home for Christmas but the baby might have to stay in hospital a while longer.”

“Oh,” Grace gave a sad pout. “But they makes him all better?”

“Uh-huh,” Ruby gave a little nod, hoping that was going to be the case. “Now, how about we watch some TV until Brax gets back?” Ruby questioned.

“Peppa Pig.” Grace shouted as she ran over to the couch and climbed up onto it, getting herself comfy as Ruby put the TV on.

******

“Mummy.” Grace ran into the NICU and into Charlie’s arms.

“Hey it’s Snow White,” Charlie lifted Grace up as she continued to hug her. “Hey.” Charlie smiled at Brax and Ruby. Brax gave her a smile and rubbed her arm before looking down to his son.

“Ruby made pancakes.” Grace told her mother what she had had for breakfast.

“Ah wow, were they good?” Charlie questioned and Grace nodded her head and patted her stomaching as she made noises, showing how much she enjoyed them.

“You come home mummy.” Grace held tightly onto her mother. She missed her incredibly at home.

“I will be soon sweetheart.” Charlie spoke sadly. She knew after a couple more days she’d get to go home but her son wouldn’t be so lucky. The thought of leaving that hospital and leaving her baby son behind killed her. He should be with her. Well, he should still be in her stomach, really. The thought of him being in hospital was bad enough, but having to leave him over Christmas seemed all the more worse.

“For Santa to come?” Grace questioned.

“Yeah for Santa coming,” Charlie rubbed Graces back. “So, I hope you are being good for Brax and Ruby.”

“Uh-huh.” Grace nodded her head.

“Perfect aren’t you?” Brax rubbed the back of her head.

“Hello,” Jo gave a smile as she walked over to them, notes in her hand. “Uhm,” Jo looked to Grace who was still in her mother’s arm. “I want to talk to you about some test results.” Jo held the papers higher before once again glancing at Grace.

“C’mon monkey, ice-cream time.” Ruby took her sister from Charlie’s arm and walked away, receiving a thankful smile from both Charlie and Brax. Grace protested but Ruby kept walking away and left the NICU.

Charlie moved closer to Brax and he wrapped an arm around her comfortingly. “As you know yesterday we did some tests on you sons blood,” Jo said, pausing for a moment. “His red blood cell count is extremely low.”

“So what....what does....” Brax tried to speak but couldn’t get anything out.

“A blood transfusion is looking like our best course of action,” Jo told them, seeing fear spring into both of their faces. “He would be in the best possible care,” Jo assured them. “But with your permission we’d like to do it as soon as possible.”

“Of course,” Brax said before looking to Charlie who was staring down at her son, tears springing into her eyes. “It’s what’s best right?”

“Yes,” Jo answered. “Now, unfortunately, your son’s blood type is O negative which means he can only receive O negative,” Jo exhaled. “Charlie we know you are type A negative,” Jo pursed her lips together. “Darryl, what are you?”

“Uhm....O,” Brax rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know if it’s positive or negative though.”

“Well we can get you tested and if not then we’ll use donor blood, if you are comfortable with that.” Jo asked, knowing that some parents wouldn’t allow this due to religion.

“Of course,” Brax answered. “We just want our son to be okay, right?”

“Yes,” Charlie’s voice came out in a squeak. She cleared her throat. “Uhm, my daughter, she’s O negative,” Charlie said. “But uhm, she...she is diabetic,” Charlie explained. “Can she...can she give blood safely?”

“Does your daughter take insulin?” Jo asked and Charlie nodded. “But she has everything under control and is otherwise healthy?”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded. “She’s really good with keeping up with everything and she’s a healthy kid yeah.”

“Then I don’t see there to be a problem for her to donate her blood,” Jo told them, Charlie feeling relief wash over her. “But we’ll test Darryl’s blood first, if you wish.”

“I want to be able to help my son if I can,” Brax answered. “You should test me.” Brax said, trying to keep calm. He knew if he got worked up, Charlie would get even more worked up that she already was.

“Sure,” Jo told him. “I’ll go let Nurse Jan know and she’ll test your blood as soon as possible for you.” Jo said before walking out of the NICU to find the nurse needed. As Jo left the NICU Charlie looked up to Brax, her face saying a thousand words, even though she stayed silent.

“He’ll be okay,” Brax took a deep breath as he tried to reassure her. “If I’m not a match, Ruby definitely is so he’ll get this transfusion and it will make him stronger.” Brax pulled her closer into him and placed a soft kiss on her head, before looking down to his son, praying that he was going to pull through this.

[Danni02]

Thank you Chax, Spotd1, Sarah, beebee, emmamurphy8 and pembie for the comments.

Sixty-six

Isaac Ross Braxton was the name on the sign over the incubator now. Brax had been surprised when Charlie told them to leave out Buckton. He’d assumed she want to share a name with her son. As a family they sure had a whole mix of surnames. Ruby of course being just Buckton, Grace being a Rosetta and Charlie now officially using Buckton-Rosetta and Brax and the baby being Braxton’s. Isaac had had his blood transfusion, the blood received from Ruby, as test’s confirmed Brax’s thoughts that he was indeed O but was O positive, a blood type that could kill his son if he was given it. Charlie and Brax had used the time he was receiving his transfusion to pick his name, using that as a distraction from thinking that something would go wrong, Brax especially, considering his dream, needed this distraction, so talking about positive things, like finding him a good name was on top of the list of things to do. Ruby felt more off that most blood donors after she’d given blood so she was to stay in the hospital room. She’d been given a large glass of orange juice and some biscuits to snack on, much to Grace’s dismay. She wished she could get juice and biscuits from the nurses too. “Ruby?” Grace said, from sitting on her mother’s knee. “I like biscuits.”

“Oh, you do?” Ruby questioned and Grace nodded.

“Uh-huh.” Grace said.

“Here,” Ruby gave Grace one of her biscuits. Grace grinned before taking a big bite. “You guys can go back and see Isaac if you want,” Ruby told her mum and Brax. “I’m fine.” Ruby said.

Charlie studied her daughters face and she did look to be back to normal and she did have a huge urge to go and see her son again. “Come back along when you feel 100 per cent.” Charlie rubbed Ruby’s arm before she, Grace and Brax left the room and made their way back to the NICU.

“Oh hey Charlie,” Gail smiled as she walked out of the NICU. “Is this little Grace?” Gail looked down to her and smiled.

“I’s Snow White.” Grace pulled at her dress and did a sort of curtsey before hiding behind Charlie’s legs, but peaking her head around to look up at the stranger.

“Oh I see,” Gail said. “She’s so grown up looking.”

“Yeah,” Charlie ran one of Grace’s pig tails through her hand. “Eh sorry,” Charlie felt Brax’s eyes on her. “Sorry, this is Gail. Her husband and Angelo were going through treatment at the same time. Gail this is my partner.”

“Ah I see,” Brax spoke quietly as he shook her hand. “I’m Brax.”

“Brax?” Gail screwed her face up a little. “That’s a strange name.”

“Darryl is my name,” Brax told her. “Brax is my surname. Well Braxton, but yeah everyone calls me Brax.”

Gail gave him a smile. “So, how’s the little one doing?” Gail questioned, looking back to Charlie.

“He’s uhm,” Charlie took a deep breath before exhaling. “Just had a blood transfusion,” Charlie told her. “So uhm....” Charlie trailed off.

“Daisy had one when she was first born too,” Gail told her. “Seems like a lot of them do,” Gail exhaled sadly as she played with her wedding ring. “I hope it makes him stronger.”

“He’s my Isaac,” Grace spoke quietly, still half hiding behind Charlie. “My baby Isaac.”

“Aww Isaac,” Gail smiled. “Picked him a good name. Well I need to go right now. Picking up Richard’s mother to come see Daisy, but I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.” Charlie gave a weak smile as she walked down the hall and out of sight. Charlie exhaled as she turned around to face Brax before leaning her head against his chest.

“You okay?” Brax questioned, rubbing her back softly.

“Just seeing her again makes me think of...” Charlie trailed off and Brax placed a kiss on her head. “Why did Richard get live when Angelo died?” Charlie questioned, but before Brax had a chance to say something, Charlie spoke again. “I don’t need this on top of Isaac being...” Charlie pursed her lips together as a tear rolled out of her eye. “I should be thinking about my son right now and....” Charlie took a deep breath trying to compose herself.

“Hey, c’mon,” Brax wrapped both of his arms around her and Grace hugged her leg. Charlie brought her hand down to her daughters back and rubbed it gently as her daughter showed her some comfort. “There’s going to be times where you do think about Angelo but it doesn’t mean you are going to be thinking about Isaac any less,” Brax assured her. “And if you need to talk about Angelo more right now then I’ll try my best to help,” Brax said. “Or there’s Rubes and Bianca there for that too.” Brax told her.

“Yeah,” Charlie sniffed back. “C’mon, let’s go see our boy.” Charlie said, pulling back from Brax and taking his hand as Grace’s slipped into her other before they walked into the NICU and over to Isaac’s incubator.

******

Ruby walked back through to the living room after putting Grace to bed. She looked to Brax who was sitting on the couch staring out at nothing. She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge and pulled out two beers. She walked over to the couch and took a seat next to him, handing him the beer. He looked down to it before taking into his hand giving Ruby a smile of thanks as he undid the cap and threw it down to the coffee table. He took a big drink as Ruby took her cap off and threw it down next to Brax’s. “I feel useless, Rubes.” Brax sighed as he pulled at the label on his beer.

“You’re far from useless Brax.” Ruby told him.

“I couldn’t....I couldn’t help my boy today,” Brax pursed his lips together. “A parent is supposed to...I should...” Brax ran his hand over his face.

“You can’t help genetics,” Ruby said. “And the most important thing right now isn’t who helps him it’s that he gets strong enough to come home,” Ruby rubbed his back with her free hand, her beer being held in her other. “And you know, you being there next to him. He’ll know. He’ll know his daddy is there watching down on him. You’re helping him by just being there.” Ruby said, trying her best to reassure him.

“Yeah,” Brax looked away and wiped his hands over his eyes, Ruby seeing he was trying not to cry in front of her. He cleared a lump from his throat before looking back around to her. “And uhm....thank you. A million times thank you.” Brax gave her a weak smile.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Ruby told him. “I just did what anyone would have for their brother.” Ruby said, before she too pulled at the label on her beer. Overcome with worry for him and hoped more than anything that he was going to be okay.

“Well still, I appreciate it,” Brax exhaled. “He uhm...I know it’s going to be a fight but...” Brax took a deep breath.

“He’ll pull through,” There was something that sounded reassuring about Ruby’s tone and Brax felt confident in what she was saying. Even though he knew she wouldn’t know this for sure, it still made him more confident for his baby son. “To Isaac.” Ruby said holding up her beer bottle.

“Isaac.” Brax clinked his bottle against Ruby’s before they both took a drink.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Sixty-seven

Ruby squealed in excitement as she saw her boyfriend. He was home, home for good now and that relieved Ruby. She was tired of doing the long distance thing and was glad that all that could stop now. She ran into his arms and hugged him tight. “Hey baby.” Xavier whispered into her ear. Also glad to be back in the bay. As much as he loved Melbourne, this was and always would be his home.

Hey,” Ruby mumbled, her head buried into him. Ruby lingered in the hug a little longer than usual and Xavier put it down to her needing a little comfort over her baby brother being born early. He rubbed her back as he placed a kiss on her head. “So how are you?” Xavier asked softly as they eventually parted the hug.

“Between caring for Grace, being worried sick about Isaac, trying my hardest to keep Brax and my mum strong you mean?” Ruby gave a little sigh.

“Stressful time huh?” Xavier rubbed her arm.

“Just a bit.” Ruby pursed her lips together.

“Well I am here now and I’ll be here for you,” Xavier gave her a smile. “Anything you need, I’ll help with okay?” Xavier tucked Ruby’s hair behind her ear.

“Yeah,” Ruby gave him an appreciative smile. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Xavier said. “I want to be here for you. I love you more than anything Rubes.” Xavier spoke softly before placing a kiss onto Ruby’s lips. Ruby smiled into the kiss, letting it deepen as she wrapped her arms around Xavier’s neck.

“I love you too,” Ruby smiled. They’d been together since they were 15 years old and each other’s first everything. In fact Ruby was the only girl Xavier had slept with, but he didn’t ever feel like looking elsewhere. Not even when they were broken up. As far as he got was a drunken kiss with that girl from the bar. Ruby of course had those kisses with Andy and that extremely regretted one night stand with him. Even though Xavier was only just 20 and Ruby turning 20 the next month, Xavier was already thinking about the big question. “You want to come in and see Isaac with my today?”

“I’d love too,” Xavier answered. “But first, I uhm...” Xavier raised his eyebrows. “We haven’t seen each other in over a month,” Xavier exhaled. “I think we have some catching up to do.”

“Mmm,” Ruby raised her eyebrows as she licked her lip seductively. “Best come through to my bedroom then huh?” Ruby stared walking backwards down the hallway as Xavier followed her.

“I think that is for the best.” Xavier gave a nod, his lips curling into a smile as they walked into Ruby’s room, Xavier using his foot to kick the door shut as his hands were already busy pulling at Ruby’s clothes.

******

Charlie, Brax and Grace were in the NICU with baby Isaac. Jo had told them about Kangaroo care and that depending on his new set of test results, they could possibly be allowed to do it that very afternoon. Isaac was now one week old and was still on CPAP for his breathing, but the blood transfusion did seem to give him a little boost and he looked a little healthier. “Mummy.” Grace questioned from Brax’s arms, taking her eyes of Isaac for a moment.

“What sweetheart?” Charlie looked to her daughter.

“Well,” Grace scratched the side of her head. “I want something from Santa.” Grace said.

“I know,” Charlie answered. “He already has your list sweetheart.” The NICU was decorated for Christmas and although it brought some festive spirit and put people in a good mood, it also felt a little wrong, giving that the babies were fighting for their lives.

“But this is new,” Grace told Charlie. “I no want the others.” Grace shook her head. Of course with it being the 23rd of December it was too late to change anything now. She was getting a bike, an orange one with a little basket at the front and a seat in back for her dolly. Or in Grace’s case, her beloved Lola ragdoll and of course heaps of other things, Grace once again being spoiled.

“Well sweetheart I think it might be too late to change now.” Charlie said.

“Oh,” Grace looked most annoyed. “I want Santa to bring my baby Isaac home,” Grace said looking from Charlie to Brax then back to Charlie again. “No care ‘bout presents.”

Charlie immediately welled up. “Aww sweetie,” Charlie kissed Grace’s cheek before taking her into her arms hugging her tightly. “Isaac will come home when he is healthy and ready. As much as we would love him at home for Christmas it would be to early right now,” Charlie swallowed a lump in her throat. “He needs to get strong and healthy, right?” Charlie ran her hand though Grace’s ponytail.

“Uh-huh,” Grace nodded before looking back round to Isaac. “He like buddy.” Grace smile.

“Poor kid,” Brax rubbed Charlie’s back as he spoke. “Would be nicer on you if you looked like mummy, mate. I’m sorry.”

“Ah c’mon,” Charlie exhaled. “He’s a little handsome man,” Charlie said. “Just like daddy.” Charlie turned her head up to look at Brax and he smiled at her before he leaned in a kissed her cheek.

“Mummy?” Grace questioned.

“What?” Charlie looked back to her daughter.

“When you home?” Grace sighed. It felt like forever to her that Charlie was in the hospital for, although a week to a four year old probably would be long.

“Uhm,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “I don’t know.” They let preemie mums stay in hospital a little longer but after being there a week, Charlie knew her time to go home would be soon and of course she wanted to be at home to be with Grace on Christmas morning. They needed to make the morning the same as any other Christmas for Grace, before coming to the hospital to see Isaac.

“Hey monkey.” Jo walked over to them, quickly catching on to Grace’s nickname. She ruffled Grace’s hair.

“Hi Nurse Jo.” Grace grinned up at her, giving her a cheeky face.

“So,” Jo looked down to the results, knowing that Charlie and Brax would want to get to them right away. “They’re good,” Jo told them with a smile. “He’s doing well and is slowly improving.”

“Slowly?” Brax sounded concerned as he glanced at his son before looking back to Jo.

“It’s nothing to be concerned about,” Jo reassured him. “All babies are different and some progress quicker than others,” Jo said. “But, he is almost strong enough to be able to do Kangaroo Care,” Jo gave a little smile, seeing Charlie’s face light up. “One, two days at the most if he keeps this up.” Jo glanced down at him and her smile grew larger. His little chest was moving up and down with each breath.

“That’s great news, thank you.” Charlie sounded relieved, knowing that soon, she would able to hold her son. It’s all she’d wanted to do since he was born, but of course, she has to wait until it’s safe for him.

“Yeah,” Brax grinned, feeling overwhelmed at the news, he struggled to talk. “Uhm,” He cleared his throat. “Thanks....I....” Brax exhaled.

“Nurse Jo?” Grace questioned from her mother arms.

“Yes?” Jo looked to the girl.

“Can mummy come home now?” Grace questioned. “I miss her.”

“Aww I’m sure you do,” Jo answered. “It’s not up to me though. I’m Isaac’s nurse. You need to ask your mummy’s nurse or doctor that question.

Grace furrowed her eyebrows. “Buddy,” Grace looked up to Brax. “Go find her.”

Brax gave a little laugh. “We’ll see her later yeah? When we go for lunch,” Brax told her, he too hoping Charlie would come home, especially since Christmas was only 2 days away.

“Well I’ll keep working, but I’ll be back to do some checks on him later.” Jo said before she walked across the NICU to another couple.

“Brax,” Charlie felt herself welling up. “We’re gonna get to hold him.” Charlie said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“I know it’s great.” Brax smiled as he wrapped his arms around Charlie, squashing Grace in-between them as they shared a hug.

[Danni02]

Thanks beebee, Pembie, Sarah, Zoe, Spotd1, RoRo90, Sabrina and emmamurphy8 for the comments. I don’t really like this one at all, hopefully the next one is better.

Sixty-eight

The day was December 24th. Isaac was now 8 days old and Ruby had brought Xavier in to see him. The day before they’d seem to spend all of their time catching up, so had made the trip to the hospital today. Grace was with Bianca, playing with Lucy and Molly and Brax was with Charlie, Charlie just being told that she could home, but her nurse could see that she didn’t look extremely thrilled at the idea. “Look if you need a few more days here I’m sure I can think of something that would mean you could stay,” The nurse told her. “Maybe I want to keep an eye on your blood pressure or you’ve been getting some cramps that I want to watch over.....” The nurse trailed off. She did feel for the mothers who got sent home without their baby.

“Thanks, but, I have to go home,” Charlie told her. “I don’t want to leave Isaac but its Christmas Eve and I have a four year old and I need to be home for her. I want to be there, of course I do.”

“We just wish Isaac could join us.” Brax spoke sadly as he rubbed Charlie’s back in comfort.

“I know,” The nurse said, of course feeling for the parents. It was a situation she hoped she never had to face herself. “But he’s doing well here. It’s the best place for him right now.”

“Yeah,” Charlie took a deep breath. “Speaking of Isaac, let’s go see him.” Charlie said as she looked to Brax. Brax gave a nod of his head before they both thanked the nurse before leaving the room, walking down to the NICU to spend some time with their son.

“Hey.” Ruby smiled as they walked over to the incubator.

“He’s gorgeous,” Xavier told them. “Congratulations.”

Brax gave him a smile. “Nice to see you back.”

“Oh it’s great to be back,” Xavier said, watching as Charlie put her hand through the little hole and gently ran her finger over her sons arm. “Especially since it’s Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Charlie pursed her lips together as a tear rolled out of her eye. “Christmas.”

“You okay mum?” Ruby questioned.

“Fine.” Charlie wiped her hand across her eye as Brax hugged her from behind. She brought one hand up and put it over his arm, her other staying on her son.

“He’s not going to be home for Christmas eh,” Brax told him. “Obviously hard with him being in here at anytime but over Christmas....” Brax took a deep breath, trying to stay composed. “But we’ll still come see him once we’ve done the Christmas stuff with Grace.”

“Of course,” Xavier said before giving Ruby a glance. “Well we’ll let you have time with your son right now.” Xavier took Ruby’s hand.

“Yeah, I’ll be back later.” Ruby rubbed Charlie’s arm on the way past her before leaving the NICU.

“I want to hold him so bad,” Charlie sounded emotional as she pulled away from the embrace and looked up at Brax. “It’s killing me being able to see him but I can’t hug him. He’s my baby and I can’t hug him.” Charlie buried her head against Brax’s chest as her tears rolled out.

“I know, it’s awful,” Brax rubbed her back, trying his best to sound strong. “But you heard Jo. She said today, maybe tomorrow,” Jo told him. “How great a Christmas present would that be, huh?” Brax questioned. “Getting to hold our son for the first time on Christmas day?”

“I don’t care what day it is,” Charlie cried. “I just want to hold him.”

“I know,” Brax placed a soft kiss on her head. “Me too. And like Jo said, it’ll be soon.” Brax said before rubbing her back in comfort as they looked to their son, Brax hoping it was indeed very soon as he could see how much Charlie needed this.

******

“Mummy.” Grace screeched as Charlie and Brax walked into Bianca’s place. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her and leapt up into her arms.

“Hey monkey,” Charlie held her daughter tight, placing a kiss on her head. “I hope you are being good for Bianca?”

“Oh yes,” Grace answered. “Ay?” Grace gave Bianca a questioning look.

“Always is.” Bianca smiled as Lucy and Molly came over, Lucy running quickly as Molly stumbled, falling to the ground. Molly looked angry at her fall before she crawled the rest of the way over to her mother. Bianca lifted her into her arms and Molly immediately grabbed onto a chunk of Bianca’s hair.

“Charlie,” Lucy pulled at her top. “We playing.”

“Ah were you having fun?” Charlie questioned and Lucy gave a little nod.

“Mummy is you home?” Grace asked her voice full of hope.

“I am sweetheart.” Charlie answered as she took a seat on the couch, putting Grace on her knee.

“Wow,” Grace looked pleased. “For Santa tonight.”

“Yeah, I am.” Charlie ran her hands through Grace’s chocolaty ponytail.

“But no my baby Isaac?” Grace pouted sadly.

“No,” Charlie sighed sadly. “He has to stay in hospital to get stronger.”

“Poor my baby Isaac,” Grace sighed. “He be all alone.” Grace held her hands out to the side all worried for her baby brother.

“We’ll go see him tomorrow,” Brax told her as he took a seat on the arm chair, Lucy climbing onto her uncle’s knee as Bianca sat down with Molly on her knee, Molly not letting go of her mother’s hair. “We can take a Christmas present for him, eh?”

“Oh yes buddy,” Grace nodded. “Santa will bring it tonight and we will take it to my baby Isaac at the hospital.”

Charlie hugged Grace close to her, the lack of cuddles she could get from her son, being made up for with plenty comforting hugs from her daughter. “So, he’s uhm....how is he?” Bianca questioned as she tried to pull Molly’s strong grasp from her hair.

“Improving slowly,” Brax exhaled. “But improving is improving. As long as he gets strong I guess we shouldn’t worry too much about how long it takes him.”

“No,” Bianca answered, taking a tighter grip on Molly. She couldn’t imagine going through this with one of her girls and really felt for Charlie and Brax. They’d already been through a lot together and this just seemed like too much for one couple to face. “Isaac getting well enough to come home is all you need to focus on.”

“We uhm....we might get to hold him soon,” Charlie smiled hopefully. “I can’t wait. The first thing a new mother wants to do is hold their baby and give them a hug but he just got taken away,” Charlie took a deep breath to compose herself. She was still very emotional, the stress of the situation not helping with her emotions one bit. “But, Jo told us maybe today, which we’ve not been able to yet, maybe we will later tonight but if not maybe tomorrow.”

“Ah that’s fantastic news.” Bianca gave a little smile. Isaac being strong enough to be allowed a hug would be a fantastic feeling for her friends and she really hoped that Christmas day could be made even more special for them by that being allowed to happen.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Sixty-nine

Charlie looked down to the empty cot. She put her hand onto her stomach as her other was holding a little white baby grow with little multi-coloured ducks on it. “I’m so sorry,” Charlie mumbled to no one. “I’ll never forgive myself for this.”

“You should,” Charlie didn’t turn around as she heard his voice. She felt his arms wrap around her and his chin rested on her shoulder. “This was not your fault.”

“I’m never going to think otherwise,” Charlie exhaled. “I’ve failed him already.”

“Charlie,” Brax spoke softly. “You are an amazing mother and our little boy is going to be lucky to have you.” Charlie exhaled as she felt herself welling up.

“You uhm.....you’ll have to eat the cookies and drink the milk,” Charlie turned around to face him, Brax not about to question the sudden change of subject. “I can put the carrots back because Grace won’t notice that, but, you’ll need to leave some though, crumbs, a half eaten cookie, some milk.” Charlie told him.

“Yeah, just like last year,” Brax said. “You could come help me if you wanted?” Brax tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “We can have a little snuggle and have some cookies and milk,” Brax smiled. “And I’d love to watch Grace’s Peppa Pig Christmas DVD again.” Brax said with a grin.

Charlie managed a little laugh. “You’re such a big kid.”

“Yup,” Brax laughed. “C’mon.” Brax held his hand out and Charlie took it and walked with him through to the living room. Brax grabbed a couple of cookies before hitting a button on the remote, the DVD coming back on. He hit play and sat down as he took a big mouthful of cookie. Charlie rested her head against his chest and he wrapped an arm around her.

“You know you have a lot of presents to move into the house?” Charlie questioned.

“Oh, I’m the one that has to do it?” Brax replied and Charlie sat up as she gave a little nod.

“Yup. Santa,” Charlie hit his chest. “Monkey will be expecting something.”

“Ah is that who the shiny orange bike is for?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little nod. “Aww I thought that was my gift.” Brax pouted and Charlie laughed a little.

“No offence but if you sat on it I think you’d break it.” Charlie said and Brax gasped, mocking offence.

“Shut up and eat a cookie.” Brax said stuffing one into Charlie’s mouth before she could talk.

“Hey guys.” Xavier smiled as he walked into the room, looking extremely nervous. Xavier was spending the night at Charlie’s place with Ruby, wanting to wake up with her on Christmas morning, and of course with a 4 year old in the house, the thought it would be more of a fun Christmas morning there than in his own home.

“You okay there Xav?” Brax gave a little laugh.

“Mmm,” Xavier nodded. “I uhm...I wanted to ask you something, Charlie.” Xavier swallowed feeling extremely nervous.

“Sure,” Charlie sounded intrigued. “What?”

“Uhm.” Xavier reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box, opening it to reveal a white gold ring with a square diamond in the middle.

“Wow.” Charlie widened her eyes.

“Hope you’re not about to propose to my girl,” Brax joked rubbing Charlie’s back. “She’s a little old for you and she’s your girlfriend’s mother.”

Xavier laughed thankfully at Brax for making him feel more at ease. “I want to propose to Ruby tomorrow,” Xavier said. “And I know you’re supposed to ask for a father’s permission but well....” Xavier trailed off. “Since I can’t I thought it would be right to ask you.”

“I see.” Charlie gave a little nod.

“I know we are both relatively young to be getting engaged but we’ve been together since we were kids and...” Xavier exhaled. “Well she’s the one.” Xavier felt his heart beating faster, hoping for Charlie’s approval.

“She’s going to be very surprised,” Charlie smiled. “I’d be honour to call you my son in law Xav,” Charlie leaned forward and rubbed his arm. “You ask her.” Charlie said and Xavier grinned from ear to ear.

“Nice rock mate,” Brax gestured down to it. “She is a lucky girl.”

“Thanks,” Xavier smiled before standing up, putting the ring box back into his pocket. “Well I’m heading back to bed. Goodnight.” Xavier said.

“Night Xav,” Charlie replied as Xavier walked away. “Right,” Charlie slapped Brax’s thigh. “Bed is actually sounding really good so let’s get to work, Santa.” Charlie said as she stood up from the couch, Brax standing up with her.

“If I am Santa that must make you my head elf, right?” Brax laughed.

“I would have thought Mrs Claus, but, sure whatever you want.” Charlie replied before they walked out to the garage to bring all the presents through for Grace.

******

“Mummy, buddy, mummy, buddy,” Grace ran into their bedroom as fast as her little legs could carry her. “Mummmy,” Grace jumped up onto the bed. “He’s been, Santa has been.” Grace shrieked in excitement.

“What time is it?” Brax mumbled, his eyes staying locked shut.

“5.10.” Charlie yawned as she glanced at the digital clock.

“That’s even earlier than last year,” Brax said, his eyes still clamped tightly shut. “Monkey go back to bed.”

“But he’s been,” Grace fell down to her knee’s in the bed, using one hand to shake Brax as her other went onto her mother’s shoulder. “He really has.”

“It’s still very early sweetheart,” Charlie gave another yawn. “Try to sleep for a little while longer, hmm?” Charlie patted down her daughters bed hair as she spoke.

“I no want to sleep,” Grace answered. “I want my presents.”

“Your presents will still be there at 7,” Brax told her. “Right now miss monkey you need to sleep,” Brax opened his eyes as his hands went onto Grace’s side. “Or the tickle monster will come out.” Brax started to tickle her and Grace burst into laughter.

“No, no,” Grace said through her laughter. “Buddy....bud....b-u-d.....buddy,” Grace giggled. “Stop.....mu....mum....mummy help.” Grace shrieked.

“Help who?” Charlie asked. “Brax?” Charlie said as she too started to tickle her daughter.

“No.” Grace pleaded.

Charlie and Brax stopped tickling her and Grace exhaled as she moved her hair from in front of her face. Grace settled down in-between Charlie and Brax in the bed. “Will we see my baby Isaac?” Grace questioned.

“Of course.” Charlie answered.

“Would Santa leave present for him?” Grace questioned looking up at Brax, her big blue eyes all wide.

“He sure would,” Brax nodded. “You can take it in to him when we go to the hospital, can’t you?”

“I will for my baby Isaac,” Grace nodded. “What he get?” Grace wondered looking from Brax to Charlie. They shared a smile, Brax seeing Charlie’s eyes misting over finding talking about her son, but not being with him hard.

“I don’t know what Santa brought him,” Brax answered. “You’ll have to open it for him and see, wont you?”

“Yeah,” Grace nodded, loving that idea. “I could open it, mummy, I could.” Grace was continuing to nod as she looked for Brax to her mother.

“Good,” Charlie smiled at her daughter as she once again ran her hand through her hair. “But I think we need to sleep a little longer first, huh?” Charlie questioned. “If you get up too early you’ll be falling asleep before dinner.”

“Oh,” Grace put her hand over her mouth, shocked by her mother’s statement. “Thens I sleep.” Grace said before sliding down in the bed and closing her eyes. Charlie and Brax shared another smile before they to both lay back down, hoping to get another couple of hours sleep before eventually having to get up with Grace.