To Love Again

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Thirty

Brax knocked on the already open door of the house. He looked in to see Charlie standing looking a little stressed out as Grace was standing on the couch, staring at her mother all wide eyed. “Hey, Charlie,” Brax said as she looked around to him. “Is everything okay?”

“Eh,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “Not really, our babysitter just ran off.”

“Yeah I saw her,” Brax rubbed the back of his head. “Do you want to go -” Brax pointed out of the house, wondering if Charlie wanted to go after her.

“I can’t leave Grace.” Charlie answered.

“I’ll stay here.” Brax told her.

“Eh,” Charlie looked to Grace before looking back to Brax. “I’m not sure she’d like that,” Charlie said as Grace came running over, as if sensing Charlie was thinking of leaving her. “And I think it’s best if I leave Ruby. If we talk any more now it’ll only make things worse.”

“I see,” Brax gave a little nod as he looked down to Grace who was leaning against her mother. “Hello.” He gave her a smile.

Grace looked up at him, her eyes all wide. “This Lola.” Grace held up her ragdoll for Brax to see.

“Aww well isn’t she pretty,” Brax smiled. “Is she your favourite?”

“Uh-huh.” Grace nodded before hiding her head against her mother’s leg. Brax exhaled as he looked back up to Charlie.

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” Brax gave her a compliment and Charlie blushed.

“Thanks, you look nice too,” Charlie answered. “But uhm, I’m sorry, I eh....I think I am going to have to cancel.” Charlie sounded disappointed but with her babysitter gone, she didn’t have much choice.

“Sure,” Brax sighed, also disappointed. “Or well, I’m here now so maybe we could just chill here?” Brax questioned. “She’ll be heading to bed soon, right, so it’s not like I’ll be....eh.....meeting her to soon in that way....like you....if you know what I’m saying and -”

“Well I’d need to bath her, so....” Charlie rubbed the back of her head. “Maybe you could go get Chinese for dinner and we can eat here?” Charlie suggested. “And while you are gone I’ll get Grace bathed and put to bed.”

“Uhm, okay,” Brax gave a little smile. “What do you like?”

“I’ll have sweet n sour chicken and boiled rice,” Charlie told him. “Please,” Charlie added. “I’ll sort you with the money later.”

“You don’t need too,” Brax laughed. “I’m still counting this as a date,” Brax told her. “So, my treat.”

“Oh well thanks,” Charlie gave a smile. “And I’m sorry that it’s turned out like this.”

“Can’t be helped,” Brax gave a little smile. “At least we are still having dinner.”

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled. “And ehm, there’s wine but if you like beer then you might need to get some of that.” Charlie looked sorry for how the night was turning out.

“No problem,” Brax laughed again. “I’ll see you soon.” Brax smiled before he walked out of the house.

Charlie sighed before looking down to Grace who was still leaning against her leg. “Right monkey, let’s get you into this bath.” Charlie said and Grace ran off towards the bathroom with Charlie following behind her.

******

“I can’t believe she could do this,” Ruby paced about the floor. “How can she do this?” Ruby questioned.

“Well,” April pursed her lips together before looking to Bianca and the pair exchanged a glance. “I don’t really think she is doing anything wrong,” April spoke tentatively. “She’s trying to move on with her life.”

“Well she shouldn’t,” Ruby raised her voice. “How can she do this to dad? How can she just date another man so easily?”

“C’mon Rubes,” Bianca exhaled. “You really think this would be easy for her?” Bianca questioned. “It’s not been, but, she wants to try. She wants to find someone to share her life with and don’t you want that for her too?”

“She has me and Grace,” Ruby answered. “Aren’t we enough?”

“C’mon, Rubes,” Bianca said. “She deserves the chance at being happy and if that means being with Brax then cant you let her have that?”

“But she promised me,” Ruby raised her voice. “I can’t believe she could do this. Did dad not mean anything to her?” Ruby sighed as she sat down on the arm of the couch, rubbing her hand across her eyes.

“She has struggled so much with this,” Bianca told Ruby. “Do you think she just woke up one day and thought I’ll give this a whirl?” Bianca questioned. “Rubes, I have had many discussions with your mother about this. Believe me it wasn’t easy for her.”

“So, hang on a minute,” Ruby held her hand out in front of her. “You have been encouraging her to do this?”

“I’ve been talking with her about it, yes,” Bianca answered before looking to April who had stayed quiet. “She’s finding it hard enough, as I said, so please just....don’t make this any worse for her.”

Ruby shook her head angrily. “She shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Ruby, maybe,” April pursed her lips together. “Maybe it would be nice for your mum to start dating again, meet someone nice and....yeah,” April shrugged. “She should be happy.”

“No,” Ruby shook her head. “I can’t believe she could do this to dad and I can believe that you two think this is okay.” Ruby stood up from the arm of the chair before storming out of the house, slamming the door shut, showing her anger in her mother’s choices.

******

“Lollipop man gone.” Grace said as Charlie lifted her into the bath.

Charlie laughed as she sat down on the edge of the bathtub and reached for the body wash. “He’s coming back,” Charlie told her. “When you are in bed.”

“Oh,” Grace hit her hands together, trapping the foamy bubbles, resulting in them squashing through the gaps of her fingers. “Why?

“Well he and I are going to have some dinner.” Charlie told her as she squeezed the body wash onto the sponge, before putting it into the water. Grace furrowed her eyebrows as Charlie washed her body.

“I have eat.” Grace said as she hit her stomach.

“Yeah you have.” Charlie answered, continuing to wash her daughter.

“Yummy,” Grace smiled as she hit her tummy again. Charlie smiled as she put the sponge into the water before running it over her daughter’s body again. “Uby go were?”

“I don’t know.” Charlie sighed as she threw some bath toys into the bath for Grace to play with for a while.

“She notty,” Grace scrunched her face up. “Ay mummy?”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “But never mind, mummy gets to bath you and put you to bed tonight hmm.” Charlie ran her hand over Grace’s hair as she spoke.

“Yeah,” Grace picked up the wind up frog and started to wind it. “No my hair?” Grace scrunched her face up in puzzlement as she looked to her mother.

“No, you don’t need to wash your hair today,” Charlie told her, picking up the wind up duck. “We going to have a race?” Charlie said and Grace gave a grin as she nodded. They put the toys into the water and they went shooting off across the tub.

“Go froggy.” Grace shouted, splashing her hands into the water, splashing her mother a little.

“Ducky is winning,” Charlie sang. “Go ducky.”

Grace gasped. “Mummy no,” Grace hit her palm against her face. “I to win.” Grace sulked as she picked up the two toys, most annoyed that the duck had beaten the frog.

“Ha ha mummy gets to win sometimes.” Charlie teased.

Grace furrowed her eyebrows. “I win now.” Grace wound up her froggy again and let it go before handing Charlie the duck.

“Grace,” Charlie gasped as she wound up the toy. “Are you cheating?” Charlie placed the duck into the water but it wasn’t going to catch the frog now.

“No,” Grace shook her head. “I win,” Grace gave her mother a wide mouthed grin, showing off her white teeth. Charlie laughed as she ruffled Grace’s hair, Grace letting out a cheeky grin. “This one mummy.” Grace picked up another bath toy, wanting to play that now, the frog and duck left floating at the other end of the tub.

“Oh yeah this is a good one.” Charlie smiled at her daughter before they started playing with the next bath toy.

[Danni02]

Thanks

Thirty-one

Brax knocked on the door before walking into the house. “Hello?” Brax questioned, walking further in and into the kitchen, putting the food bag on the worktop. He walked over to the fridge and gave a sort of sad smile as he saw the picture of Charlie, Ruby, Grace and Angelo. He opened the fridge and put in the 4 pack of beer he’d bought before closing the fridge as he heard Charlie’s voice.

“Hey, come in, sorry,” Charlie appeared in the room. “Hey,” Charlie smiled as she found him in the kitchen.

“Sorry I was just putting the beer in the fridge.” Brax felt like he needed to explain what he was doing.

“That’s fine.” Charlie told him.

“You’ve changed.” Brax said, seeing Charlie was now wearing a pair of black shorts and a red singlet and her hair had been tied back in a messy ponytail.

“Yeah,” Charlie looked down to herself. “Sorry, but I had to bath Grace and I didn’t want to wear my dress while doing that.”

“Understandable.” Brax said.

“I’ll change back if -” Charlie started to talk as she pointed down the hall.

“No, no, don’t be silly,” Brax gave a little laugh. “You are fine as you are,” Charlie gave a nervous smile and Brax noticed she was playing with her wedding rings. “So uhm, plates and cutlery?”

“Sorry.” Charlie walked over to the cupboard and got out the plates. Brax took them from her and put them down on the table as Charlie got out some serving spoons and some chopsticks before putting them down on the table.

“Chopsticks.” Brax looked up to Charlie his eyes going all wide.

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded. “It’s Chinese, you gotta use chopsticks.” Charlie said as Brax opened up the first tub of rice and dished some out onto each plate.

“I uhm....I can’t eh.” Brax rubbed the back of his head.

“Aww well I think you’ll go hungry.” Charlie said and Brax gave a little laugh as Charlie walked over to the drawer and pulled out a knife and fork.

“Thanks,” Brax gave her a smile he started dishing out her chicken for her as she grabbed a beer for Brax before getting a glass of wine for herself before they sat down at table to eat. “So, how was your day?”

“Good,” Charlie answered. “Ruby took Grace out all day so I had some me time,” Charlie smiled a little. “How was work?”

“Pretty quiet today,” Brax exhaled before taking a drink of his beer. “Ehm, I don’t mean to pry, but....well Ruby looked pretty mad when she left,” Brax cleared his throat. “And shouldn’t she be at uni right now also? Is everything okay?”

“She wasn’t getting on so well at that school,” Charlie bit her lip. “And she and Xavier broke up so....” Charlie exhaled. “She’s back here. Starting at Northern Districts tomorrow.”

“Ahh I see.” Brax said, feeling Charlie was holding something back, but, really it was none of his business anyways, she didn’t need to tell him.

“Yeah and uhm,” Charlie pursed her lips together, putting her chopsticks down on the table and leaning her hands down against the edge. “She not best pleased that I’m....that we are....” Charlie took a deep breath.

“She doesn’t like you trying to move on,” Brax spoke for Charlie and she gave a little nod. “I get that, to an extent,” Brax sighed. “She doesn’t want me replacing Angelo.”

“She most certainly doesn’t,” Charlie answered. “But I’m not looking to replacing Angelo,” Charlie’s voice got quieter as she avoided eye contact with Angelo and Brax noticed once again she was playing with her wedding rings. “He’ll never be replaced. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find something again, you know, I can have something special with someone else, right?” Charlie questioned and Brax gave a little nod.

“Of course you can,” Brax answered. “And I think it takes a lot to make that step and try,” Brax gave her an encouraging smile. “This can’t be easy for you and I’m sure if you give Ruby time she’ll come round.”

“You don’t know Ruby like I do.” Charlie picked her chopsticks back up and began playing with a piece of chicken.

“Oh, we have a little visitor.” Brax gestured behind Charlie and she looked around to see Grace standing rubbing her eyes.

“Oh hello,” Charlie said as Grace walked over to her and climbed up onto her knee. She was surprised once again that Grace had woken up, normally once she was asleep, she was asleep for the whole night. “What you doing up?”

Grace pushed the hair from her face before looking to Brax. “This Lola.” Grace said as she showed him her ragdoll.

“Yeah I saw her before eh,” Brax smiled before taking a drink of his beer. “She’s very nice.”

“Yes,” Grace nodded in agreement. “Mummy is too.”

Brax gave a little laugh. “I agree mummy is very nice too.” Brax looked to Charlie and they shared a smile.

“You lolliopop?” Grace questioned.

“What?” Brax looked to Charlie, confused.

“She thinks you are the lollipop man.” Charlie said with a little laugh.

“Oh,” Brax gave a little laugh. “I don’t have any, sorry.”

Grace gave Brax a scowl as Charlie stood up, lifting her up with her. “Say goodnight. I’ll take you back to bed.”

Grace gave a little pout. “Night.” Grace waved.

“I’ll just be a sec,” Charlie said before she disappeared out of the room, walking Grace back to her bedroom. She put her into her bed and tucked her in. “Now missus,” Charlie looked down to her daughter. “What you waking up for?”

“I see him,” Grace answered. “I play too.”

“Ahh sweetie,” Charlie gave a little laugh. “It’s too late for you to be up and playing.”

Grace sighed. “Next time.” Grace said. “Me too.” Grace put her chest with her finger.

Charlie gave a little laugh before placing a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Goodnight monkey.”

“Night mummy.” Grace yawned as Charlie stood up. She felt herself smiling as she left her daughter’s bedroom. Grace was slowly coming around in talking with Brax and knew it would be easy for him to get her acceptance and that it really was only going to be Ruby with the problem.

[Danni02]

Thanks Sarah, RoRo90, Pembie and Spotd1 for the comments.

Thirty-two

Charlie and Brax had moved to the couch after their dinner. “You alright?” Brax questioned, seeing some worry starting to creep on her face.

“Fine, Charlie exhaled as she rubbed her forehead before looking to her watch. “Ruby’s been a while, that’s all.”

“She’s mates with April eh?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little nod. “Well she’s probably just hanging out with her,” Brax put his hand onto Charlie’s arm and gently rubbed it. “She’ll be okay.”

“I.....” Charlie paused. She was worried that Ruby was out doing something else. She hated thinking that of her daughter but given her recent behaviour, she couldn’t help it. “I’m sure she will be,” Charlie bit her lip. “It’s just....she.....well she sort of did some drugs at uni and....” Charlie stopped talking as she looked down.

“Oh wow,” Brax widened his eyes. “Eh, I’m sure she’ll not be out doing that, eh,” Brax tried to sound reassuring. “Like I said, I’m sure she’ll be with April.”

“It’s my fault she did the drugs.” Charlie sounded like she was about to cry.

“I’m sure it wouldn’t have been.” Brax said, once again rubbing her arm in comfort.

“She said as much,” Charlie felt herself opening up to Brax about it. “Apparently I needed her to be strong after Angelo died,” Charlie played with her necklace. “Well, no, not apparently, I did need her to be strong or I’d have been a totally wreck still,” Charlie exhaled. “I didn’t give her that chance to grieve and for months I wouldn’t talk to her about him, I couldn’t.....I.....” Charlie trailed off. “And that’s why she did the drugs, she....she wanted to forget about Angelo. Well no, not Angelo, just the hurt and pain of losing him.”

“Well,” Brax pursed his lips together, not really having much of a clue about what he could actually say. “Maybe counselling could help?”

“We tried that,” Charlie told him. “Neither of us liked it all that much.”

“Have you spoken to her about it now?” Brax questioned and Charlie replied by shaking her head. “Well, is it easier for you to talk now?”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded. “But I guess neither of us like to bring it up all that much,” Charlie told him. “We’ll talk a little about him, but...” Charlie trailed off as she shook her head. “Nothing deep.”

“Well maybe you should give it a try,” Brax exhaled. “It might help both of you and maybe it’ll let Ruby understand more about you wanting to....” Brax trailed off. “Date.” He added quietly.

“I know,” Charlie answered. “I’ve been meaning to since she came back from Melbourne, but, I’m just so disappointed in what she’s done....I....” Charlie clicked her tongue as she trailed off. “Sorry, it’s not really something we want to be talking about on a date is it?”

Brax gave a little shrug. “It’s okay if you want too.”

“We can talk about something else,” Charlie played with her wedding rings as she spoke. “I eh....how’s things been with your brother since, you know.” Charlie raised her eyebrows.

“I haven’t spoken to him,” Brax answered before giving a nervous sort of laugh. “I eh....we’ve seen each other a couple of times, eh, but don’t talk,” Brax told her. “One day though,” Brax pulled at the label on his beer bottle. “One day soon I think we’ll have to get our acts together,” Brax sighed. “We are family after all.”

“Yeah, you want to stick with your family.” Charlie said before taking a drink of her wine.

Brax gave her a smile. “Yeah,” Brax exhaled. “Are Heath and Bianca going okay though?”

“I think they are going through a rough patch,” Charlie told him. “But they’ll work things out.” Charlie said before taking a drink of her wine.

Brax was about to reply when the door opened and Ruby staggered into the house. “He’s here,” Ruby slurred, but there was venom in her voice. “How can you do this?” Ruby questioned.

“Ruby.” Charlie stood up from the couch.

“I can’t believe you.” Ruby pushed away and walked down the hall to her bedroom, slamming the door shut.

Charlie looked to Brax and he saw she was embarrassed. “I think I should go,” Brax pursed his lips together as he stood up. “Let you talk with her.” Brax put his beer down on the table before walking over the door, Charlie following behind him.

“I’m sorry.” Charlie told him as the door opened and Brax walked out, turning around to face her.

“It’s okay,” Brax answered. “We’ve had a good night, right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie felt a little smile forming on her face. “It was good.”

“Maybe the next time we’ll actually get out for dinner.” Brax gave a little laugh.

“You mean you still want to take me out on a date?” Charlie questioned.

“I do,” Brax gave a little smile. “If you’d like to come.”

Charlie pursed her lips together as she rolled her wedding ring around her finger. “I do. It’s just....” She looked back into the house. “Can I get back to you?” Charlie bit her lip as she looked back to Brax.

“Of course.” Brax gave an understanding nod.

“Thanks,” Charlie gave him a smile. “I’ll eh...” She pointed into the house. “I should go.” Charlie could hear clambering around from Ruby’s room, like she was dropping things.

“Best to I think,” Brax answered. “So...” He exhaled as he looked into her eyes, wanting to kiss her goodbye but not sure if it was the best thing to do given the situation. Charlie cleared her throat as she looked down briefly before looking back up to him.

“Goodnight.” Charlie placed her hand on his arm, their eyes locking together. He took a deep breath before leaning in to kiss her. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, Charlie turned her head to the side and Brax’s lips grazed her cheek. He gave a weak smile as he pulled his head back.

“See you.” Charlie cleared her throat before Brax walked away. She took a deep breath as she closed the door, before leaning her head against it, taking a minute before going to talk to her eldest daughter.

[Danni02]

Thanks beebee,emmamurphy8, Sarah, Sabrina, pembie for the comments.

Thirty-three

Charlie walked into Ruby’s room, ready for a talk with her. “Don’t you knock?” Ruby looked up at her from where she was lying on her bed.

“Sit up,” Charlie instructed as she sat down on the end of the bed, patting next to her. Ruby groaned as she sat up on the bed. “What have you taken?” Charlie questioned, staring into her daughters eye, seeing they looked a little dilated.

“Nothing,” Ruby answered, feeling a little offended her mother had jumped to this conclusion. “I swear I’m not going to touch drugs again.”

“So you’ve been drinking then?” Charlie questioned.

“I may have had a few beers,” Ruby answered. “Not a crime considering I’m 18.” Ruby stood up from her bed and walked towards the door.

“Come and sit down.” Charlie spoke with authority.

“Why?” Ruby questioned. “You want to tell me all about your hot date with that jackass?”

“Ruby that is enough,” Charlie raised her voice. “Now come and sit down and we are going to have a talk.” Charlie said. Ruby ran her hand over her forehead before turning to face her mother. She sucked in her bottom lip before she folded her arms, taking a seat at her desk chair.

“I don’t want to listen to how much of a nice guy he is or how I’ll realise that if I just give him a chance,” Ruby exhaled. “He’s not my dad, he never will be my dad and I’ll never like the fact that you want to date someone who’s not dad.”

“Ruby,” Charlie exhaled. “I’m not ever going to expect you to think of Brax like he is your dad,” Charlie said. “I know that no-one will ever replace Angelo in that respect, but,” Charlie paused, pursing her lips together. “I want another chance at being happy.”

“Don’t me and Grace make you happy?” Ruby asked, feeling tears already coming to her eyes.

“Of course you do,” Charlie answered. “You and Grace are my whole world. I love you more than anything.”

“So then why do you want to be with him?” Ruby questioned. “Why do you want to replace dad?”

“Rubes, I’m not trying to replace your dad,” Charlie shook her head as she stood up and walked over to Ruby, bending down before her and putting her hands onto her knees. “I love him so much and I always will, I always will,” Charlie emphasised. “But, don’t you think that your dad would want me to move on and find someone to share my life with?” Charlie questioned. “The fact that I want to move on doesn’t change how I feel about your dad and it never will, okay, I promise you that, Rubes, but,” Charlie was rubbing Ruby’s knees as she spoke. She took a deep breath to compose herself as she felt herself about to well up. “I want to try to be happy again.”

A lone tear rolled down Ruby’s cheek. “I think dad would want you to be happy,” Ruby spoke quietly. “But just because I think that, it doesn’t mean I like it.” Ruby pursed her lips together.

“So you don’t want me to be happy?” Charlie questioned.

Ruby shook her head. “Well, yes, of course I want you to be happy,” Ruby told her. “I just don’t see why that needs to mean you need to start dating and fade away dad’s memories.”

“Rubes, I’m never going to do that,” Charlie brought her hand up and cupped he daughters cheek, wiping her tear away with her thumb, while trying her hardest to push back her own tears. “I don’t want to forget your dad and we’ll talk and....” Charlie pursed her lips together. “We’ll never let his memories fade. And you know, when Grace gets older we’ll be telling her all about him,” Charlie said. “I assure you, he’ll never fade away from my memories.”

Ruby pursed her lips together. “I believe you,” Ruby spoke quietly. “But I still don’t like that you are dating and I’m never going to like Brax.” Ruby said her mind seemingly made up before she’d even give him a chance.

Charlie pursed her lips together. “I wish you’d try,” Charlie said. “For me.”

Ruby sniggered before shaking her head. “I can’t,” Ruby told her. “Not when I don’t think it’s right.”

“So,” Charlie exhaled. “I’ll just not see him again then?” Charlie questioned. “Call him and tell him that you don’t want me to date ever again and once you and then Grace are out living in your own homes with your own families I’ll live here all alone, shall I?”

“Well....” Ruby paused. “I mean, you wouldn’t be totally alone as such,” Ruby answered. “You’d have grandkids coming to visit and you have friends and work.”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Charlie exhaled, feeling sad that her daughter couldn’t be adult enough to support this choice and help her through, because even though she wanted to see what happened between her and Brax, it was still extremely hard for her. “It would just be nice to have someone here with me,” Charlie sighed, seeing she wasn’t going to get anywhere with Ruby anytime soon. “Well you should get to bed,” Charlie stood up, taking a few steps back from her daughter. “You have uni tomorrow.”

Ruby could tell by the tone of her mother’s voice that she was upset with her. “Oh....I uhm, I want to talk to you about dad, if you would.”

“Right now?” Charlie questioned. “No, I’m not going to talk to you.” Charlie exhaled as she left the room, leaving Ruby alone.

******

Charlie and Grace were already eating their breakfast when Ruby walked into the kitchen. She slumped down on the chair, rubbing her hand over her eyes. “moning Uby.” Grace greeted her sister with a smile.

“Morning monkey,” Ruby smiled at her little sister, seeing she had a milk moustache as she ate her cereal. “Morning.” Ruby looked round to Charlie who was talking a drink of her coffee.

“You all set for uni?” Charlie questioned as she put her coffee cup down on the table as Ruby picked up the cereal box and put some into a bowl.

“Yeah,” Ruby nodded. “April is picking me up.” Ruby said as she reached for the milk, pouring some into her bowl.

“I want you straight home after class.” Charlie told her daughter.

“Oh well actually April and I were going to -”

“Ruby,” Charlie raised her voice, cutting her daughter off. “You are to come straight home, do you understand me?”

“Why?” Ruby looked confused.

“Because I said so.” Charlie said as she stood up from the table, picking up hers and Grace’s empty bowls.

“Toast mummy?” Grace questioned and Charlie gave a little nod before walking over to the sink, laying the bowls down.

“But I -”

“Ruby will you just do as you are told,” Charlie spoke sternly as she reached for the bread from the bread bin and put a slice into the toaster. Grace gave a little jump of fright at her mother’s tone. “Straight home after class.” Charlie turned to face the girls as she waited on Grace’s toast to be ready.

“Right okay whatever,” Ruby mumbled. “You punishing me because I’m not welcoming Brax into the picture with open arms?” Ruby questioned.

“No, this isn’t about Brax,” Charlie told her. “It’s about....” Charlie trailed off. “Just be at home.” Charlie walked over to the fridge and pulled out the butter before taking a knife from the drawer.

“I’m not going to do drugs again,” Ruby exhaled, feeling this is what her mother was wanting her home for. “I promise you that mum,” Charlie took the slice of toast from the toaster and lightly buttered it for Grace before cutting it in half then again in half the other way so there were 4 little squares of toast on the plate. “Mum.” Ruby said after a long pause of silence.

“Yeah I heard you,” Charlie put the toast down in front of Grace. “Right you get that eaten up then it’s off to Marilyn’s for you, okay?” Charlie questioned as she ruffled her daughters hair.

“And Lucy?” Grace questioned as she picked up a piece of the toast.

“Yeah Lucy will be there too.” Charlie answered.

“Yey,” Grace cheered. “Lucy bestest.” Grace swung her legs in the chair.

Charlie smiled at her youngest as she once again ruffled her hair. “You eat that up then,” Charlie said. “Mummy’s just going to get changed for work then we’ll go okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Grace nodded as she took a bite of her toast. Charlie glanced as Ruby briefly before she left the room to get herself ready for work.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Thirty-Four

Charlie walked into the house with Grace walking in behind her. “Ruby,” Charlie shouted upon seeing the living room and kitchen was empty. “Ruby.” Charlie said again after some time with no reply. She shook her head as she walked down the hall and opened her bedroom door. Ruby looked up to her mother from her bed and Charlie saw she had her earphones in and that is probably why she didn’t hear her.

“Hey.” Ruby pulled the earphones from her ear as she looked up to Charlie as Grace climbed up onto Ruby’s bed.

“Thank you for coming straight home.” Charlie gave a smile.

“Thought I better do as I was told,” Ruby replied. “Uhm, I’ve done a load of laundry and there’s a lasagne in the oven for dinner.”

Charlie raised her eyebrows. “Well thank you.” Charlie knew all too well that Ruby was probably only doing it to get into her good books again, but, she still had to appreciate it.

“Uby,” Grace crawled up the bed and cuddled close to her. “We go park?”

“No,” Charlie answered. “You are going to go and tidy your bedroom,” Charlie said as she lifted Grace up from the bed and put her on the floor.

“Mummy,” Grace put her hands onto her hips as she pouted. “No. It nice.”

“Go on,” Charlie said. “There’s toys everywhere. I’ll come through to help soon, but I just want to talk to Ruby first, okay?” Charlie said and Grace furrowed her eyebrows before she ran from the bedroom. “So.” Charlie exhaled as she sat down on the edge of the bed, Ruby shuffling along to be closer to her.

“This going to be about my drug taking?” Ruby bowed her head down.

“Nope.” Charlie shook her head.

“About you and Brax?” Ruby questioned as she screwed her face up.

“Nope.” Charlie said again as she pursed her lips together.

“Then what have I done?” Ruby questioned, not able to think of why Charlie would want to talk to her.

Charlie took a deep breath as she played with her necklace. “Do you want to talk about dad?” Charlie questioned and Ruby gave a shy nod. Charlie pursed her lips together, waiting on Ruby to say something.

“I miss not seeing him every day.” Ruby spoke sadly.

“Me too,” Charlie exhaled. “But that’s where the memories come in,” Charlie wrapped her arm around Ruby as she spoke. “I’ll remember all the good times we had together and it makes me smile,” Charlie pursed her lips together as Ruby could see how much her mother was trying to keep herself together. “I hate that our time together was cut short, but, I’m so thankful that we still got to have that time together.”

“Yeah,” Ruby smiled. “That’s a nice way to look at it,” Ruby pulled at her bracelet. “I miss that sometimes we would talk long into the night,” Ruby exhaled. “Like, we’d both be up with not sleeping or something and we’d talk about the most random of things,” Ruby gave a little laugh. “Don’t miss his awful taste in music though.” Ruby said.

“You know what I don’t miss?” Charlie questioned and Ruby looked at her questioningly. “How he’d never finish a cup of tea,” Charlie played with her wedding rings as she spoke. “He’d always let it get cold but instead of using a little hot water to heat it again he’d brew a new cup and there was always half drunken cups of tea left everywhere,” Charlie gave a little laugh. “And he always clipped his toe nails in bed.” Charlie screwed her face up.

“Eugh,” Ruby screwed her face up. “He did have some weird things about him.”

“Still, made me seem to love him even more.” Charlie exhaled as she bowed her head down.

Ruby gave a little smile. She could see how much her mother was missing Angelo and how much she did indeed love him. “You know I was actually getting into the whole fishing thing too,” Ruby smiled. “More so because me and dad had alone time together, but, it could be pretty fun,” Ruby exhaled. “Mostly because I always made fun of dad when I caught stuff and he didn’t.” Ruby laughed.

“Must have been a good teacher.” Charlie said and Ruby gave a little nod.

“He was the best.” Ruby said sadly.

“I know that.” Charlie smiled.

“I just wish....” Ruby pursed her lips together. “I miss having a connection with him and I...” Ruby gave a little shrug. “I wish I had something of his I could keep.”

Charlie exhaled as she rolled her wedding rings around her finger, before bringing her hand up to her necklace. “You know we still have some of his stuff in the granny flat,” Charlie said as she cupped Ruby’s cheek with her hand. After Angelo died, most of his stuff was taken away or Carla took a lot back to Melbourne with her, but of course, Charlie wanted to keep some of his stuff, not only for her but for when Grace was older.

“Really?” Ruby screwed her face up.

“Yeah, I thought you knew this,” Charlie looked a little puzzled that Ruby didn’t actually seem to know this. “You are in there to get your surf board. I thought you would have seen the boxes and stuff.”

“Guess I don’t really look,” Ruby answered. “Just put the surf board in and out.”

“Well you’re welcome to anything in there.” Charlie said.

“Can we go look now?” Ruby questioned and Charlie pursed her lips together before giving a little nod. They walked out of Ruby’s room and down the hall, Charlie grabbing the keys to the place before they walked outside and into the granny flat. Charlie walked over to the corner where everything was and Ruby felt herself welling up as she saw Angelo’s fishing rod at the back of the room, leaning in between the wall and a shelving unit, next to it Ruby’s rod. She took a few steps forward before running her hand over his rod.

“You should go fishing sometime,” Charlie said. “Take Angelo’s rod and it’ll be like he is there with you, helping you catch the fish,” Ruby hadn’t been fishing since Angelo’s death. Ruby mumbled something but Charlie couldn’t quite make her out. “Maybe when Grace is older you can teach her how to fish. The two of you can go out and you call tell her all about dad while you are doing the thing he love most.”

“I like that idea,” Ruby smiled as she turned back to face her mother as she noticed she was lifting a box up from the bottom of the shelf. “What you looking for?” Ruby questioned.

“There’s some stuff in here.” Charlie said as she laid the box on the table and took the lid off. Ruby looked down and saw his yearbook. She picked it up and opened it at the photo’s pages, laughing a little as she looked at a photo of Angelo when he must have been no older than 18.

“Oh my gosh he has long hair,” Ruby laughed. “What was he thinking?”

“Probably that he looked really cool.” Charlie laughed as he looked at the picture of her husband when he was a teenager.

Ruby ran her hand over his face as she pushed back some tears. “You think I could take this?” Ruby questioned. “I want to read about what he was like and what people thought of him.” Ruby said.

“Sure you can,” Charlie answered as he was holding a silver Rolex in her hand, running her thumb over the face. “I bought him this for our first wedding anniversary,” Charlie smiled fondly. “He was like a kid on Christmas morning,” Charlie laughed. “Couldn’t believe I’d got him a Rolex.”

“It’s a good gift,” Ruby answered as Charlie handed it to her. “Still working,” Ruby sounded surprised. “Although for the price of a Rolex you’d want it to have a decent battery, right?”

“Yeah.” Charlie played with her necklace.

“Thanks for this,” Ruby smiled. “It’s nice to feel like I have a connection with him again.” Ruby looked sad. Charlie could see she desperately wanted something to make her feel close to her father. She took a deep breath as she squeezed the ring tighter in her hand.

“Here.” Charlie took the necklace from herself and took a few steps around so she was behind Ruby. She put the necklace onto her as Ruby gasped, taking hold of the ring in her hand.

“Mum, I can’t,” Ruby said. “I thought this made you feel like he was always with you.”

“It does,” Charlie nodded. “But I also have my rings and I have my memories and there’s Grace too. I’m always going to feel close to your dad, Rubes. I love him so much and we were married, we had that bond and connection and it’s never going to go away,” Ruby gave a little smile as she continued to hold the ring tightly in her hand. “I think you need this.” Charlie lightly rubbed her cheek.

“Thank you.” Ruby smiled as she wrapped her arms around her mother in a hug. Charlie returned the embrace, tightly hugging her daughter as they both took a moment, staying silent as they stood amongst Angelo’s things.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. Finally got an update for you guys. Yey me! lol.

Thirty-Five

Charlie opened the door and was rather surprised to see Brax at the other side. “Brax,” Charlie gave a smile as she saw him. “Come in,” Brax walked into the house, before reaching into his pocket as he looked around the room. “Looking for something?” Charlie gave a little laugh of confusion.

“Grace,” Brax said. “I brought her this.” Brax pulled a red lollipop from his pocket and Charlie’s laugh grew louder.

“She’s napping right now,” Charlie told him. “But I’m sure she’ll appreciated it once she wakes up,” Charlie closed the door and walked through the house, Brax following her to the kitchen. “Can I get you a coffee?”

“Sure,” Brax nodded and Charlie flicked the kettle on before reaching for two cups. “So, haven’t seen you in a few days, everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded her head as she took the milk from the fridge. “I’ve just been spending some time with Ruby, talking with her about Angelo.”

“I see,” Brax gave a nod of understanding as he put the lollipop on the table. “Did you talk about....uhm...” Brax scratched the back of his head.

“Me and you?” Charlie questioned. “She’s not right out said I can’t see you but I know she’s not happy and doesn’t want me moving on,” Charlie sighed as she banged the milk down on the worktop. “I’m not going to stop seeing you,” Charlie pursed her lips together as she turned to face him. “If you wanted to see me again, that is, because I know it’s not really fair to keep you not knowing what’s happening with us.”

“Of course I want too,” Brax gave her a smile, his dimples showing a little as he took a step closer to her. “You’re such a lovely person, not to mention gorgeous. I’d love to date you.” Brax put his arm around her, gently placing his hand on the small of her back. They looked into each other’s eyes as smiles grew on their faces. Brax slowly leaned down and softly brushed his lips against hers. Charlie smiled into the kiss, letting it deepen a little before she pulled back.

“Sorry it’s just....” Charlie paused. “I’ve not...” Charlie pursed her lips together trying to find the right way to say it.

“It’s the first time you’ve done something like this with someone who’s not Angelo?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little nod. “It’s okay. I can only try and understand how hard it must be for you and we can take this as slow as you want. As long as you are comfortable that’s all that matters to me, okay?” Brax smiled as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Charlie gave him a thankful smile as she nodded her head, wanting to feel the butterflies in her stomach she’d just experienced as she kissed him, the strange sensation she hadn’t felt in so long. She looked into his eyes as she rubbed his cheek with her hand before leaning up and placing another kiss on his lips. He smiled into it, wrapping his arms around her waist as the kiss deepened. Charlie pursed her lips together as she pulled back, her hand going to where her necklace used to sit. “Forget to wear it today?” Brax questioned as he noticed she was trying to play with a necklace that wasn’t there.

“Ah, no,” Charlie lay her hand over her chest. “I gave it to Ruby a few days ago,” Charlie told him. “I think she needs it more than me right now.”

“Oh,” Brax was a little surprised. “Though it was something you really liked to wear.”

“It was,” Charlie moved her hand and started playing with her wedding rings instead. “But she really needed something so....” Charlie trailed off as she noticed Brax looking to his side. She smiled as she saw Grace walking into the room as she rubbed her eyes. “Hey monkey how was your nap?”

“Hi.” Grace ignored her mother’s question and looked up to Brax as she wrapped her hands around Charlie’s leg.

“Hey little one,” Brax smiled as he picked the lollipop up from the table and bent down in front of her. “I got this for you.”

Grace eyes lit up as she took the red lollipop in her hand. “Thank you.” Grace’s voice was quiet but she could just be heard.

“You’re very welcome,” Brax ruffled her hair before looking back up to Charlie. “So, what do you say to forgetting about a coffee here and I’ll take you two out. Maybe we could get this little one some ice-cream.”

“Oh icey-ceam.” Grace looked up at her mother, her eyes looking all excited.

“Uhm,” Charlie pursed her lips together as she glanced between Grace and Brax. She thought it was too early for ‘family’ days out but it was probably better Grace slowly got used to Brax being around if they were going to start dating anyways. “Sure we can.” Charlie answered and Brax gave a little smile as Grace pulled on his hand. He looked down to her questioningly and she handed the lollipop to him, wanting him to open it. His smile grew larger as he took the lollipop from her and opened the wrapper as Grace jumped a little in excitement as she waited for her lollipop.

******

Ruby’s hand hovered over the phone. She was at Xavier’s name and desperately wanted to call him. She wanted to apologise again and once again beg him for a second chance. “Penny for your thoughts.”Ruby looked up to see Dexter smiling down at her.

“Do I ring Xav?” Ruby bit her lip as Dexter sat down on the banking next to her.

“I wouldn’t.” Dex exhaled.

“Thought that would be what you’d say,” Ruby exhaled as she put her phone away in her bag. “You’re like his best mate,” Ruby turned her head to face him. “Has he said anything to you?”

“Uhm...” Dex sucked in his bottom lip. “Probably nothing you want to hear right now.”

“Oh,” Ruby widened her eyes. “Well maybe you could help me,” Ruby said. “You’re my friend too, right?”

“Of course,” Dex gave her a smile. “But Rubes I don’t want to get involved. It’s between you and Xav.”

“Please,” Ruby clasped her hands together. “Tell him how sad I am and how much I miss him and love him and I didn’t ever want to hurt him. It was just a stupid mistake and I’ll regret it forever, but what we had was so....” Ruby voice got quieter as she felt herself welling up with tears. Dex rubbed her back gently and couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

“Look, I can’t promise you that anything will come of it, but....” Dex trailed off for a second. He didn’t really want to get involved and would be completely the same as Xavier if April ever did what Ruby did, but, he still felt a little sorry for Ruby. He knew she was still deeply hurt by Angelo’s death and could see she did regret her actions. “The next time we talk, I’ll mention something.”

“Thanks Dex,” Ruby gave him a smile. “You are a good friend.”

Dex smiled as he stood up. “C’mon, I’ll treat you to some ice-cream before lunch is over.” Ruby gave him a smile as she stood up and picked up her bag and walked out of the university grounds with Dex to get some ice-cream.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. I am sorry about this one, I’m a bit lost.

Thirty-six

Charlie and Brax walked into the ice-cream shop, Grace jumping up and down excitedly as Lola ragdoll bounced around in her hands. “Right monkey what flavour ice-cream do you want?”

“All thems.” Grace ran forward and stuck her head against the plastic window, smiling down at all the ice-cream flavours.

“I don’t think we need to be greedy,” Charlie said as she ran her hand through her daughters chocolate brown ponytail. “What about strawberry, you like that one huh?”

“Yeah but no,” Grace answered before looking up to Brax. “You get?” Grace questioned.

Brax looked over the ice-cream flavours before looking down to Grace. “I’m going to have mint choc chip.” Brax told her and Grace looked up to her mother.

“Me too,” Grace said, hugging Lola closer to her. “And Lola.” Grace announced before cuddling closer to her mother.

“I see,” Charlie gave a smile as she looked at Brax, both of them amused that she wanted the same as him. “I think I’ll take an orange sorbet.” Charlie said and Brax gave a little nod.

“You go take a seat and I’ll get them,” Brax said and Charlie reached into her bag for her wallet. “I said I’ll get them.” Brax put his hand on her arm, stopping her from getting her wallet out.

“Member spinkles.” Grace pulled on Brax’s t-shirt as she gave him an angelic smile.

“Of course,” Brax answered before Grace skipped off to a booth and climbed up onto the seat. “Does Charlie want sprinkles?” Brax questioned with a cheeky grin and Charlie gave a little laugh.

“No thank you,” Charlie told him. “Just an orange sorbet.” Charlie said and Brax gave a little nod as Charlie walked over to sit with her daughter. As Brax waited in the queue he couldn’t help but stare at Charlie and think how beautiful she looked. Her hair was left down, flowing past her shoulders. Her makeup was subtle, giving her a glowing, natural look and he loved her in the red sundress she was wearing. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but she was taking to Grace, Grace giggling at what Charlie was saying. He smiled, enjoying seeing Charlie’s motherly side. He thought she was a great mother and knew Grace and Ruby were lucky to have her. He turned away from the scene of mother and daughter as it was his turn to order. He got the ice-creams and sorbet before walking over to the booth, placing them down on the table.

“Wow,” Grace widened her deep blue eyes. “Lots of spinkles.”

“Yeah,” Brax agreed. “You’ll enjoy that, right?”

“Uh-huh.” Grace nodded as she already put her first spoon full into her mouth. Brax looked between the two spare seats. He could sit next to Charlie or he could sit next to Grace.

“You going to take a seat?” Charlie questioned.

“Yeah,” Brax looked down to Grace. “Can I sit next to you?” Brax questioned and Grace gave a little nod, moving Lola closer to her to make room for Brax. Brax smiled at Charlie before sitting down next to her toddler. “So, I’m thinking of going to see Heath tonight.” Brax said before taking a spoonful of his ice-cream.

“Oh yeah?” Charlie questioned.

“Mmm,” Brax nodded. “Think that we -”

“Cosy little date is it?” Charlie and Brax looked to the side to see Ruby and Dex standing there, Ruby looking deeply angry that Charlie was out on a date and seemingly ignoring her desires for her mother not to date.

“It’s just ice-cream, Rubes.” Charlie answered.

Ruby shook her head. “So as soon a possible shag comes along my feelings mean nothing,” Ruby spat. “C’mon Dex, we’re leaving.” Ruby walked away, storming out of the ice-cream place.

“Right,” Dex rubbed the back of his head as he looked to Grace – for not knowing where else to look – who was blissfully unaware of the conversation as she was too busy eating her ice-cream. “I guess we’re not doing ice-cream anymore.” Dex said before walking out after Ruby.

“So, what were you saying about Heath?” Charlie questioned as she put more sorbet onto her spoon. Brax exhaled, seeing Charlie just wanted to act like Ruby hadn’t even been there. He looked down at Grace who was still stuffing the ice-cream into her mouth as fast as she could, ice-cream and some sprinkles forming a ring around her mouth before looking back to Charlie and continuing to tell her about his plans to make things right with Heath.

******

“Brax and I kissed.” Charlie said as she sat on Bianca’s couch, the girls playing with some dolls in the corner of the room.

“Oh my,” Bianca shrieked. “Like a kiss on the cheek, a peck on the lips a -”

“Like a full on tongues in each other’s mouths pash.” Charlie answered and Bianca shrieked once again. “

“Aww Charlie,” Bianca put her hand on her friend’s leg. “I’m so happy for you. How was it?” Bianca raised her eyebrows, wanting a bit of gossip.

“Uh,” Charlie bit her lip. “It was....it was nice. Great even but I was really aware that it wasn’t Angelo and....” Charlie sighed. “I don’t know, I think it’ll just take some time.”

“Of course,” Bianca said. “And the fact you are trying is good,” Bianca said. “You want to see him again, right?”

“I do,” Charlie nodded as a little smile appeared on her face. “Just Rubes isn’t really making it easy for me.”

“She just needs time,” Bianca answered. “She’ll see eventually that you can still love Angelo while moving on.”

“I hope so,” Charlie played with her wedding rings. “He’s so sweet and he’s trying really hard to win Grace over, I wish one of my girls would make it easier for him.” Charlie exhaled.

“Charlie it will get easier,” Bianca assured her. “I promise. Just give it some time.”

Charlie gave Bianca a weak smile. “So, anyways, how are things with you and Heath going?” Charlie questioned.

“They’re getting a lot better,” Bianca gave a smile, glad she and Heath seemed to be over the worst of the arguing for now. “We’re talking and we’re open and honest with each other.” Bianca said.

“Good,” Charlie smiled. “He and Brax sorting stuff out yet?”

“Brax came around last night,” Bianca said. “Luce and I made ourselves scarce though,” Bianca exhaled. “He said they had a good talk thought so I guess he means that they’ve sorted things out.” Bianca said, looking a little unsure.

“Well it’ll be good if they have.” Charlie smiled.

“Oh yea?” Bianca questioned. “You want to do some double dating?” Bianca’s lips curled over in a laugh.

“It could be an option.” Charlie answered.

“Ah,” Bianca smiled. “Well I’ll look forward to it.” Bianca said, looking at her friend and seeing how happy she looked just talking about seeing Brax. She knew how hard it had been for Charlie since losing Angelo and was glad to see her slowly dipping her foot back into the dating world.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. Pembie, that would have been funny, wish I'd thought of that!

Two months later.

Thirty-seven

Charlie was sitting on the office desk, Brax standing between her legs. His hands were running over her back as Charlie’s were wrapped around his neck, one hand sitting upwards, playing with his hair. Brax gave a little groan as the kiss intensified, their tongues swirling around each other’s mouths. He pushed her even closer to him, Charlie feeling his excitement against her. “Mmm Brax, I...” Charlie pulled back and bowed her head down. They’d yet to consummate the relationship, Charlie not quite ready to take that next step yet. She would occasionally still struggle with the fact that her partner wasn’t Angelo and Ruby still wasn’t thrilled with the idea, although she had mellowed a little over the last couple of months. She no longer made snide remarks, but, she didn’t really attempt to make any sort of conversation when Brax was around either. She’d give very short, sharp answers to any question he asked before making an exit from the room.

Brax exhaled lightly as he placed his hand on her chin and lifted her head up to face him again. “It’s okay,” Brax spoke softly, giving her a smile, little dimples showing. “We don’t have too.”

Charlie smiled thankfully. She loved how understanding Brax was and felt he needed to put up with a lot, with needing to win over Grace – which was still a work in progress – but was doing better there than with Ruby, that was for sure and with needing to take the relationship very slowly. “You’re so sweet,” Charlie lightly brushed her hand over his cheek as she looked into his eyes. She loved his eyes. The smile on her face grew larger as she felt a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. As much as it conflicted Charlie to admit it, she was falling in love. This scared her a little as she was worried it would allow people to think she felt less of Angelo, but, she didn’t. She still loved him deeply, but was also finding herself falling for Brax. “But I....I’m really trying to be ready.”

“Charlie you can take as long as you need,” Brax said as he took her hands into his, rubbing them gently. He looked down as his thumb brushed over her wedding rings. “He was a huge part of your life and taking that final step to move on must be massive,” Brax told her. “I’ll wait as long as you want.” Brax lifted her hands up and placed a soft kiss in the centre of both of them before once again placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“I need to go to work,” Charlie sighed, not really wanting to leave Brax, but she needed to. “And you need to open this place up.” Charlie said as she jumped down from the desk.

Brax moaned. “I do,” Brax sighed as he wrapped his hand around Charlie’s waist, pulling her to him again. “In a minute,” Brax said as once again their lips found each others. “We’re still on for tonight, right?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little nod.

“Yeah,” Charlie answered. They were going out for a meal then to the movies. It had been so long since Charlie had been to the movies, she was actually looking forward to that alone. “You know I’m actually surprised that Rubes is going to babysit.” Charlie raised her eyebrows. In the two months that they been seeing each other, Charlie could probably count on the one hand how many times Ruby has stayed in and watched Grace for her.

“Yeah,” Brax smiled. “But let’s not jinx it eh.” Brax gave a little laugh.

“Yeah,” Charlie laughed before raising her eyebrows. She exhaled as she looked at her watch. “I really need to leave like 5 minutes ago,” Charlie said and Brax laughed as he reluctantly let go of her. “See you later.” Charlie said placing a final kiss on his lips.

“See you,” Brax smiled. “And thanks for doing the books.” Brax pointed to the account books on the table that Charlie came to the restaurant to hand in.

“No problem,” Charlie said. “Bye.” Charlie picked up her bag and made an exit from the restaurant, the funny feeling still present in her stomach as she left.

******

Ruby and April were hanging out at the park. Although they were both 18, they were sitting on the swings, moving them ever so slightly as they spoke. It was the first day of the Easter holidays from uni and Ruby was excited because it meant Xavier would be home. Although Dex tried to talk to him about things, he saw right through it and refused to continue the conversation with Dex. “Look,” April exhaled, Xavier having been the topic of conversation all morning. “Just give him space,” April said. “You rushing over to his place right away probably isn’t the best idea.”

“I know,” Ruby sighed. “But I’ve given him over 2 months of space,” Ruby said. “It’s time he talked this out with me,” Ruby still looked upset over the break up. “I know there’s a slim chance of us getting back together but we can at least be friends again, right?” Ruby questioned. “At least at first.”

April gave a little shrug. “I guess that’s up to Xav,” April said. “But, maybe friends would be a better start,” She knew Ruby wanted to get back together with Xavier, but, her friend’s first idea was probably a good one. “But just....don’t go looking for him.”

“Yeah well we live next to each other, so,” Ruby raised her eyebrows. “I’m going to bump into him, it’s not like he can hid as easily from me, right?”

“I guess not,” April said. “Anyways, Bianca and Heath are going out tonight and I need to watch Lucy so thought you could come around and help?” April questioned.

“I can’t,” Ruby answered. “Mum is going out with Brax,” Ruby screwed her face up, not looking impressed. “So I need to watch Grace.”

“Ah I see,” April said before biting her lip. “You know your mum just wants to be happy.”

“Why does she need a man to have that?” Ruby questioned. “Grace and I will always be there for her.”

“I’m sure you do make her happy,” April answered. “More than happy. I mean, you are her children, but she probably wants adult company too.”

“I’m an adult.” Ruby answered.

“But you are also her daughter,” April said. “Just stop giving her a hard time,” April told her friend. “I’m sure if you gave Brax a chance you’d probably actually like him. He seems like a nice enough guy and you seemed to welcome Angelo with no problems.”

Ruby pursed her lips together. Well he was so nice and wanted to get to know me.”

“And Brax doesn’t?” April questioned.

“No,” Ruby sighed. “He does. He tries really hard.”

“Well maybe you should try too,” April told her. “Show your mum you are at least trying,” April said. “I’m not saying you need to start calling him dad and be his best friend,” April exhaled. “It’s just....you never know, you might get on with him.”

Ruby pursed her lips together, thinking about what April said. “C’mon,” Ruby jumped off the swing. “I’m hungry. Let’s go grab some lunch.” April jumped of the swing and caught up with her friend hoping Ruby would at least consider what she said to her.

******

“Hey,” Charlie bent down onto her knees as she took the dead flowers from the holder, putting them into a plastic bag. “Sorry I’ve not brought Grace today,” Charlie said. “I’m just on a break from work so it’s only a quick visit,” Charlie took a deep breath as she put the new flowers in the holder. “I just want to make sure you still know how much I love you,” Charlie ran her hand over his name. “How much I miss you and that you’ll always be in heart,” Charlie took a moment. She took a deep breath and recalled his funeral and the song that played and she started to sing. ‘In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky, in my heart there’ll always be a place for you for all my life, I'll keep a part of you with me and everywhere I am, there you'll be, and everywhere I am, there you’ll be.’ Charlie wiped her hand over her eyes, feeling her eyes starting to sting with tears. “Sorry,” Charlie sniffed back. “I know I’m not much of a singer,” Charlie managed a little laugh. “But I just want you to know that you’ll never be far from my thoughts, my heart, my mind,” Charlie said. “I know I’m moving on but it doesn’t change how I feel about you for one second, I promise,” Charlie paused, keeping her hand over his name. “Grace is growing so fast,” Charlie said. “She’s turning into such a little girl. No more nappies. She doesn’t even like a zippy cup anymore. It needs to be her special little cup. It’s a clear plastic cup with Peppa Pig on it and there’s a pink straw twisted around the outside,” Charlie gave a little smile. “She loves Peppa Pig,” Charlie said. “I eh....I’m seeing a guy,” Charlie said. “Brax. Well Darryl is his name,” Charlie exhaled. “He’s really nice and I think....I think we could have something really good,” Charlie smiled lightly. “He’s been really patient with me and the girls. He’s trying hard to win them over. It can’t be easy coming into a family, being seen as replacing a father, but, he won’t,” Charlie shook her head. “I promise he won’t ever replace you. I’ll always remember you and when Grace is old enough Rubes and I will tell her all about you. I promise,” Charlie took a deep breath as she looked down to her watch. “I have to go, but, I’ll be back soon and I’ll bring Grace and maybe Ruby too,” Charlie told him before leaning forward and kissing the headstone. ‘I’ll keep a part of you with me and everywhere I am there you’ll be. Charlie whispered before standing up and brushing down her work pants before picking up the bag of dead flowers and making her way slowly away from the grave.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Thirty-Eight

Charlie rubbed her daughters back as she threw up. “Mu-m-my.” Grace couldn’t catch her breath and started to panic, Charlie hating hearing her baby in distress.

“Shh sweetheart,” Charlie spoke calmly. “Copy mummy.” Charlie continued to rub Graces back as she took a deep breath in before releasing it, Grace copying her. She did this a few times before her breathing returned to normal.

“You still going out?” Ruby questioned as she leaned herself against the bathroom door.

“No go out.” Grace said between the tears as she clutched onto her mother before she threw up, half the sick hitting the floor and half of it going over Charlie’s shorts and singlet. Charlie screwed her face up as she reached for some toilet roll.

“No,” Charlie sighed. “I’ve already cancelled so you are free to do what you wish.” Charlie said and Ruby gave a little smile, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to go and see Xavier.

“Sweet,” Ruby smiled. “Hope you feel better soon Grace.” Ruby said before she disappeared, not needing to be told twice she was free from babysitting duties.

“Mummy,” Grace cried as she tried to cuddled into her, but Charlie pushed her away, not wanting her covered in her vomit too. “Mummy?” Grace held her hands out as Charlie continued to wipe the sick from herself.

“Just a second sweetheart.” Charlie took another piece of toilet roll and this time wiped Grace’s mouth before flushing the toilet, hoping Grace was done with being sick. She took off her shorts and vest top and put them into the laundry basket.

“Hey Charlie Ruby let me in. I, Oh,” Brax covered his eyes as Charlie stood in the bathroom in only her underwear. She went red in the face before reaching for the towel that was hanging on the heater and wrapped it around her body. She wasn’t really sure why she was so embarrassed, her private parts were covered and he was her boyfriend and eventually he would be seeing her naked anyways and he’d seen her in a bikini a few times, but for some reasons, him seeing her in her underwear felt different. “Sorry.” Brax stepped out of the bathroom and went to wait in the living room. After a few minutes, a dressed Charlie walked into the living room, with Grace in her arms, hugging her yellow baby blankie close to her. She’d already grew out of her blankie, only wanting it if she was sick. Lola was safely on her shelf, Charlie not wanting her to be ruined by Grace being sick on her.

“Sorry, Grace was sick on my clothes,” Charlie explained. “I was just...well I had to change.”

“It’s okay,” Brax replied. “I probably should have knocked anyways,” Brax said as he saw Charlie looking down to the Tupperware box in his hands. “Chicken soup,” Brax told her. “My secret recipe. Does wonders for the sick.”

“I’ve already tried to get her to eat,” Charlie said as she sat down on the couch next to Brax, Grace remaining cuddled into her. “She had one bite then brought it back up so I don’t think she’ll try again.”

“Well maybe Dr Brax will have to have a try,” Brax said before smiling down at Grace. “You not feeling too well?” Brax lightly rubbed her cheek and Grace pulled away, cuddling closer into her mother.

“You don’t have to stay,” Charlie exhaled. “I’m sure you have better things to do with your night than stay in with a sick toddler.” Charlie said, running her hand through Grace’s chocolaty hair.

“Well I did have a hot date but she cancelled,” Brax told her. “But, no, I’d like to stay. Just because we can’t go out doesn’t mean we can’t spend time together,” Brax said. “We can even bring the movies here.”

“I’m not sure Rubes and my movie collection will be for you.” Charlie said.

“Well maybe Grace has one I’d like,” Brax looked down to her again, giving her a smile. “What do you think?”

“Peppa Pig.” Grace spoke quietly.

“Ah see,” Brax held one hand to the side, keeping the other holding the soup. “Peppa Pig is my favourite.”

Grace managed a weak smile as she sat up a little in her mother’s arm. “You want to try some soup sweetheart?” Charlie questioned. “It might help settle your tummy.”

Grace looked unsure. “I be sick.” Grace pouted sadly.

“Nah not with this,” Brax shook his head. “How about I go heat it up and you can have just a little bit?” Brax said and Grace looked down to the Tupperware box, considering it.

“I see it,” Grace put her hand on the lid and Brax took it off, letting Grace see the soup. “A bit.” Grace said after inspecting it for quite some time.

“Right, you sit here while mummy heats it up for you.” Charlie said, going to put Grace on the couch but she gave an irritable moan and gripped her arms tighter.

“No.” Grace mumbled, hugging close to her.

“I’ll heat it up,” Brax said as he stood up from the couch. “Just point me in the direction of a pan and all will be good.”

Charlie gave a little laugh before pointing to a cupboard in the kitchen. “Pans are in there and you’ll find a spoon for stirring there.” Charlie said as she pointed to the stainless steel holder that was next to the cooker that held various cooking utensils. Brax gave a nod before going to heat the soup up for Grace.

******

Ruby knocked on the door before walking into the house. “Hey.” Ruby sighed as she slumped down onto the couch.

“I thought you were babysitting tonight.” April said from sitting next to her.

“I was supposed to be but Grace is sick so mum cancelled,” Ruby said. “But Brax came around just as I was leaving so I guess they’ll still see each other.”

“Ah okay,” April looked down to Lucy who was too busy colouring a picture to greet their guest. “5 more minutes then its bath time, okay?” April ruffled her blonde locks and Lucy frowned.

“A million minuteses.” Lucy said before picking up the orange crayon and colouring over the picture, her tongue sticking out as she concentrated.

“5 minutes,” April said again before looking to her friend. “So, did you go see you know who then?” April questioned.

“Yeah,” Ruby answered. “Gina said he wasn’t in,” Ruby told her friend. “You think he was and she’s just lying to me or he really was out?”

“Beats me,” April sighed. “I know Dex is having family time with his dad, Indi and Sasha tonight so he won’t be with him.” April bit her lip wondering if she should have actually said that.

“So he probably is avoiding me,” Ruby sighed. “I still love him, April,” Ruby felt herself tearing up. “I just wish he’d talk.” Ruby started to cry and Lucy ran over to her and patted her knees in comfort before leaning her head down, resting it against her knees. Ruby looked down and ran her hand through Lucy’s hair, her attempts at comfort bringing a little smile to her face.

“I don’t really know what to tell you,” April felt bad, but she really didn’t know what to say. “All you can do is wait till he’ll talk to you.” April rubbed her friends back in comfort.

Ruby gave a little nod as she wiped her hand over her eyes. “What if he never does again?”

April gave a little shrug. “I don’t Ruby. I’m sorry, but I don’t know.” Of course April wanted to help her friend out, but, it really was up to Xavier how things ended up. April couldn’t control it.

“It’s okay,” Ruby sighed as she once again ran her hand through Lucy’s hair. “If it’s meant to be we’ll work it out,” Ruby sounded sad as she spoke. “C’mon, how about I help you bath this one?” Ruby said and April nodded as she stood up and went to get a bath ready for Lucy.

******

Grace ate about half a bowl of the soup, but, more importantly – at least so far – she’d kept it down. They sat on the couch, Brax with his arm around Charlie, Charlie resting her head against his shoulder as Grace was curled up against Charlie, her yellow blankie still close to her. They’d watched not one but two Peppa Pig movies together. “She asleep?” Charlie asked in a whisper as she tried to look down to her daughters face, but the way she was laying didn’t allow Charlie to see her.

“Yeah.” Brax answered, placing his hand on Grace’s back and rubbing it gently.

“I’ll take her through to bed.” Charlie went to stand, keeping hold of Grace so she didn’t drop her.

“Let me.” Brax said.

“No it’s okay,” Charlie said. “I don’t want you getting sick from her.”

“Ah us Braxton’s are made of tough stuff,” Brax gave a little laugh as he took Grace from Charlie and Grace stirred a little but remained asleep. He followed Charlie through to Grace’s room and Charlie pulled the bed covers back before Brax lay Grace down. “Are you going to change her?” Brax questioned, seeing Grace was still in her clothes.

Charlie shook her head as she took the shorts from her daughter, but decided to leave her in her singlet and panties to sleep. “That’ll do,” Charlie spoke quietly as she lifted the sheet over her. She was already getting a temperature and she didn’t want her being too warm with the bed covers over her. She lightly ran her hand over her forehead before placing a soft kiss on it. “Let’s hope this is just a 24 hour thing.” Charlie said as she and Brax left the room and took a seat on the couch again, Charlie cuddling close to him.

“Yeah.” Brax agreed.

“I’m sorry about how tonight turned out,” Charlie exhaled as she put her hand on his chest. “Don’t think any 30 year old guy wants to sit in and watch Peppa Pig.”

Brax gave a little laugh. “You can’t help it,” Brax answered. “And I’ve had a great time,” Brax placed a soft kiss on her temple. “And I was actually just about to ask if we could watch the 3rd Peppa Pig DVD.” Brax said, keeping a straight face.

Charlie laughed. “I’m sure we could find something more age appropriate.” Charlie said.

“Nah,” Brax shook his head as he got up off the couch and reached for the DVD. “I’m being serious,” Brax opened the DVD player and put Peppa Pig: Fun at the Seaside back into its case before reaching for the next DVD. “Now, let’s see how Peppa and George get on at the zoo.” Brax said, pushing the DVD into the player before sitting back down on the couch, Charlie laughing as she cuddled back into Brax, not quiet believing that their date night had turned into the two of them curled up on the sofa watching a children’s TV show.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Thirty-nine

Charlie hit pause on the TV remote. “Hey, I was watching that.” Brax pouted as he turned to face her. They were only half way through the Peppa Pig DVD, but Charlie wanted to talk to Brax about something. It had been on her mind for about a week now. She felt not only did she need to tell Brax, but she wanted to and felt the time was right.

“There’s something I want to tell you,” Charlie said before taking a deep breath. “It’s not easy for me though so just...” Charlie exhaled, rolling her wedding rings around her finger. She remembered when she’d told Angelo about Ruby’s father. How comforting he was. He was the one who helped her become stronger again; he was the one who managed to win her trust, to let her see that some guys were decent and deserved that from her.

“Hey, you’re worrying me.” Brax lightly rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

Charlie took a second deep breath. “Ruby’s father,” Charlie said. “I eh....I want to tell you about Ruby’s father.”

“I see,” Brax gave a little nod. “Is he around again?” Brax asked and Charlie shook her head as she sucked in her bottom lip.

“He uhm,” Charlie cut eye contact with Brax. It was easier to say it without having to look into his gorgeous, sweet eyes. “I was 13,” Charlie said. “We’d been together a while but, you know, we weren’t....active,” Charlie said pulling at a thread from the cushion for a little bit distraction. “We were so young. It hadn’t even crossed my mind,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “He was a little older, 15,” Charlie said. “But we didn’t care. We had fun together,” Charlie said. “He uhm....he started wanting to be more....physical,” Charlie told him. “I didn’t,” Charlie said. “I wasn’t ready so I tried to break up with him and he...he...” Charlie looked down. “I was raped.” Charlie said, feeling herself welling up with tears, even now, more than 18 years after it happened.

Brax was gobsmacked. He didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” Brax tentatively put his hand onto her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It must have been....” Brax exhaled. “Well it must have been horrible for you.”

“I was only just 14 when she was born,” Charlie told him. “It was difficult at first,” Charlie told him. “But she was my little girl and I....I wasn’t going to let her down.”

“No, I know you wouldn’t want that,” Brax gave her a smile. If he knew anything about her, it was how great a mother she was. “And your boyfr-....the guy who did that to you, was he jailed?”

Charlie shook her head. “Dad didn’t want me going through the traumas of a court case,” Charlie sniffed back. “It was a while later, before I told anyone. I was almost 5 months pregnant,” Charlie said. “It would be a he said she said battle and he didn’t want me going through that,” Charlie looked at his face for the first time since she’d told him. “I was pregnant. There wasn’t only me to worry about.” Charlie said.

“What so he’s just out there, getting to live a normal life?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little nod.

“Last I knew he was married with 2 kids and living in Sydney.” Charlie said.

“But Ruby has nothing to do with him?” Brax asked.

“Nah,” Charlie shook her head. “She’s knows about him, but,” Charlie pursed her lips together as she shook her head, still pulling at the thread of the cushion. “As far as she is concerned Angelo is her father.”

Brax smiled as he rubbed her arm. Although he hated to hear what had happened to Charlie, he was happy that she told him. He felt like it was a new step in their relationship. “Well I’m sure he was a great one.”

Charlie gave a weak smile as she rolled her wedding rings around her fingers. “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for?” Brax looked a little confused. Charlie looked at him and smiled before she leaned in and hugged him.

“For being here,” Charlie said. “Just, thank you.” Brax smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, both of them staying silent in the embrace.

******

Ruby was on the beach when she saw him. She exhaled wondering if she should talk with him, before she realised he was on his way over to her and she couldn’t get away now, even if she wanted to. “Nice morning for a surf huh?” Brax gestured out to the sea.

Ruby put her board down in the sand as she nodded her head. “Not bad.” Ruby answered.

“How’s Grace today?” Brax asked, also sticking his board in the sand as he stood next to Ruby.

“She’s still sick,” Ruby answered. “Mum’s had to take the day off work to stay home with her.”

“Aww poor little mite,” Brax exhaled and Ruby raised her eyebrows before turning to pick up her board. “Rubes,” Brax said, stopping her. “Can we talk?” Brax questioned and Ruby turned to face him again.

“About?” Ruby questioned.

“I’m not a bad guy,” Brax said. “All I want to do is make your mother happy,” Brax told her. “Look Rubes, I love her,” Brax exhaled. “Okay, I do and -”

“Have you told her that yet?” Ruby questioned.

“No,” Brax said. “I’m waiting for the right time,” Brax looked out to the sea before looking back to Ruby. “Look,” Brax exhaled. “I understand that you don’t want someone coming in and replacing Angelo and trying to be a father to you,” Brax said. “And I’m not here to do that,” Brax told her. “I get you don’t want me being your dad. Maybe we could settle for being friends. I’d like to think I’m a decent guy. I’m sure we could get along,” Brax said. “I mean we’re both into surfing eh.”

Ruby looked to Brax for a moment. “You want to be Grace’s dad though, right?”

“Grace has a dad,” Brax answered. “If me and your mother last then I’ll help raise her and be there for her if and when she needs me but,” Brax paused as he shook his head. “I’m not going to replace her father. I don’t even think Charlie wants that.”

“What if I said,” Ruby paused, bowing her head down. “What if I said I was being like this because....because I didn’t want to be pushed out of my family?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Brax said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Grace is young. She’s this cute little toddler who everyone wants to befriend and would welcome into their lives without a problem,” Rub told him. “But, I’m this 18 year old. I don’t want to be forgotten. Pushed to the side when mum can met someone else and have a family,” Ruby said, feeling herself welling up. “I...I figured I wouldn’t be hurt if I just.....if I didn’t care about someone who mum was dating.”

“Rubes, I...” Brax was shocked by her revelation. “I would never, never shut you out,” Brax said. “Your mum wouldn’t let me for a start. You girls come before anything,” Brax exhaled. “You’d always be included in any family that your mum made.”

“Of course mum would include me,” Ruby exhaled. “Just....well like I said, accepting a 2 year old step-daughter is one thing but an 18 year old one?” Ruby questioned. “Honestly do you care to know me or is it just because you want to sleep with my mum?”

“If you gave me a chance you’d know that I’d love to get to know you,” Brax told her, a smile appearing on his face. “Like I said, I don’t expect that you want me to father you. I know I’ll never take Angelo’s place, but, we can have like an older brother, uncle, friend type thing. I know it would mean a lot to your mum if we could get along.”

“You’re a nice guy,” Ruby gave him a little smile. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch about all this,” Brax gave her a smile, seeing that beneath it all; she was just scared about accepted by anyone her mother would date. “Maybe we could start over?” Ruby questioned and Brax gave a little nod.

“I’d like that very much,” Brax answered. “Now, how about you show me what you can do out there?” Brax questioned.

Ruby exhaled, looking unsure. “I’ll be pretty rusty,” Ruby sighed. “I’ve not been out there since....” Ruby took a deep breath. “Well my ex taught me to surf and...yeah.” Ruby raised her eyebrows.

“Ahh yes, this trainee cop?” Brax said and Ruby gave a little nod.

“Well it’s his loss if he doesn’t want to give you another chance,” Brax said. “I can see that you are a sweet kid under all the agro I’ve seen,” Brax gave a little laugh and Ruby joined in. “Now c’mon, now seems time like a good time to start this bonding thing,” Brax said, lifting up his surf board. “Let’s go.” Brax said as he ran down to the sea with his board under his arm. Ruby pursed her lips together as she clenched the necklace with Angelo’s ring as the pendant that she’d wore since her mother had given her it over two months ago now. She looked up to the sky and blew a kiss before picking up her board and running down to the sea to join Brax, knowing that Angelo would want her to give him a chance.