Missing Heart

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 40

Ella stepped into the hospital looking around anxiously.

“Quit it.” Roman murmured from behind her.

“You shouldn’t be here.” She hissed.

“I’m here to see Mike and Danni’s baby.” He said softly moving past her and pressing the button on the elevator. He watched the display above the door as the lift moved down to their level. Sighing he stepped inside before turning and looking over at Ella. He removed his baseball cap and winked at her as she watched him disappear. Waiting a couple of minutes she moved over to the bank of lifts and pressed the call button. When it arrived she was more nervous than before. She rode it up to the floor that housed the maternity ward along with the nursery and the Special Care Baby Unit. She felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she walked to the reception desk and asked for Danni’s room. She was directed through the double doors at the end of the corridor and walked along hearing her own footsteps on the tiled floor. She paused outside Danni'’ room tugging down the plain top she was wearing over her jeans before straightening her shoulders and stepping inside the room.

“Mum.” Danni cried out tearfully.

Ella smiled at her and walked over to the bed hugging Danni.

“You just had to surprise us didn’t you?” she asked still smiling catching sight of Roman and Mike standing together talking softly to each other.

“Oh like I’m not the only one.” Danni said pointing to the man standing by the still open door.

Roman chuckled and closed the door before going over and sitting in the chair by the bed. He ran a hand over his beard before touching the same hand to his long dark coloured hair.

“I couldn’t stay away.” He admitted. “Not with the baby and everything.”

“But he’s going right back.” Ella said her voice stern.

Roman nodded.

“Probably.” He said slowly.

Ella paled.

“No. I don’t want to do this.” She gasped out.

“Mum it’s ok.” Mike murmured stepping forward.

“Enough melodrama hey,” Roman said quietly his eyes meeting with Ella’s. “The baby have a name yet?”

Mike and Danni looked at one another before they smiled. He walked around the bed and took hold of Danni’s hand before he looked at his mother.

“Jennifer Elainea Lily.” He said quietly with a solemn reverence.

“Wow.” Ella cried out blinking back tears.

“Lily will be over the moon.” Roman said.

Ella looked at him and bit back the words that sprang to mind at his statement. How would he know anything about Lily he’d abandoned her just like all the others. She caught him looking at her and knew that he had read her thoughts and blushed.

“Have they given you any idea when you can take her home?” Roman asked his voice subdued.

“Not yet. Apparently she is doing very well.” Danni said grinning up at Mike. “She’s still on the ventilator though.”

Ella nodded.

“They’ll start to wean her off that though. Encourage her lungs to work on their own.”

“That’s what our doctor said to us.” Mike said.

“We didn’t have time to get you presents or anything. I know Gabby wanted to do a baby shower for you.”

Danni pouted.

“I think I will be having words with young Jennifer.” She announced.

Ella looked at Mike before the two of them laughed.

“Has anyone else visited?” Ella asked.

“No. We told them not to. It’s a long way to come and they will only get a few minutes before they have to go and can’t really see the baby anyway.” Mike explained. “We’ve sent Sophie like a million pictures already.”

Roman felt a shot of disappointment going through him and then mocked himself for it. Did he want to get caught when he’d spent the last year going through hell in order to protect them? He looked up and saw a curious expression on Danni’s face and gave her a small smile.

“We actually don’t have any baby stuff.” She murmured. “Mike had to go out and buy things for me.”

“By things consider embarrassing purchases.” Mike muttered with a shudder.

Roman looked at him enquiringly.

“Nursing bra.” Mike told him. “Although I kind of like the …”

“Mike.” Danni protested with a blush.

“They asked if you wanted to try it on didn’t they?” Roman murmured.

“Roman Harris.” Ella murmured feeling her own face grown warm.

“Ok what is the story?” Danni said before she eased up in the bed. She winced slightly as she moved catching sight of Mike looking at her and smiled at him.

“She didn’t have any after the birth of the twins.” Roman said quietly. “So I went and bought some, which I then had to return as they weren’t the right size.”

Ella glared at him before she felt him looking down at her bust.

“Hey!” she muttered puling on the t shirt. His t shirt.

”Twice,” he continued. “At which point the woman in the store didn’t believe that I was buying for my wife but using that as an excuse to try and chat her up.”

“You never told me that part of it.” Ella said feeling jealous.

“Hey you were hormonal and tired from night feeds.” Roman pointed out.

She glared at him ignoring his broad smile.

“Do you want to do a list of things you need?” she asked Danni changing the subject. “I’ll go get them.”

Roman noticed immediately the way she had cut him out again and frowned. Maybe he shouldn’t have come, he thought to himself.

”Want to see the baby?” Mike asked.

“Of course.” Ella said softly. “How about you take your Dad first?”

Roman looked at her and nodded before he stood and moved over to Danni once more. He kissed her cheek before walking out with Mike.

“So?” Danni asked.

“So?” Ella repeated.

“Don’t give me that. What is going on? Is he coming home with you?” she muttered.

“No of course he isn’t.” Ella snapped out.

“El I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking. This must be hard for you.”

She looked over at Danni.

“I want to but the threat is still out there. I nearly had a panic attack just being downstairs at the same time he was.” Ella murmured. “So I’m going home and seeing my kids and apologising for not answering their calls.”

“Leaving Roman going back into isolation.” Danni said sounding sad.

“He chose that for himself.” Ella muttered sounding bitter. “We just have to cope with the aftermath of his choices.”

She walked over to the window and looked out before turning and looking back at Danni.

“Want to know a secret?” she asked softly.

Danni looked at her before nodding a smile on her face.

“You’re still pregnant.” She guessed before Ella could tell her.

Ella nodded.

“Wow.” Danni smiled even broader. “I knew you couldn’t go through with it.”

“Uh huh.” Ella said.

She looked up and saw the door open with Mike walking back in alone. She gave him a puzzled look before looking past him again.

“He’s gone Mum.” Mike said.

“No.” she gasped out.

She moved to the door shaking off Mike’s hand and out of the room. Walking down the corridor she made her way over to the lifts hitting the button.

“Mum.” Mike called coming over to her. “It was too hard for him.” he added. “He won’t be back.”

“No.” she said again. “He promised me.”

“Mum.” Mike said sounding sad. “Come on please.” He put his arm around her and led her back to the room seating her in the chair Roman had been in just a few minutes before. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply trying to smell him.

“Mike.” Danni said quickly.

“He’s not going to be in touch. He’s not going back to the shack. This is it he’s gone.” Mike told them. “For good.”

Ella looked at him before she cried out, a hand going to her stomach.

”He promised that he would be there.” she told Mike. “He always keeps his promises.”

She felt hot tears falling down her face before she burst into noisy sobs.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 41

Roman walked up to the booth at the train station. He pulled out his wallet to purchase another ticket heading anywhere when he spotted the return portion of their earlier trip. Sighing he shook his head and turned away checking the boards to find the train times. He needed clothes and stuff, he reasoned with himself making the decision to head back to the shack. Besides there was his job and he should let Betsy know he was leaving. He frowned as he realised he was making excuses to go to the one place that Ella knew about and the whole reason he’d decided to disappear was because he was hurting her. She was still angry with him for choosing to enter witness protection instead of staying and fighting.

He frowned some more as he remembered her pregnancy and his promise to find a way to be there for her. God, he was messing up all over the place. He should have moved when the guys found him the first time not stay there, hoping that they would tell Ella. And he had hoped she would find out, it had been a long lonely year without her lying beside him in bed or the kids. Missing a year of their life, seeing them grow experience new things. My god, Sophie was dating. She was so tall, nearly as tall as Ella, and as beautiful as his wife. He thought back to seeing her on the laptop getting ready and grinned as he realised what the thing was that had been bothering him ever since. She had changed her hair colour there was a lot more blonde in it. How had Ella let her do that? Had she let her? Maybe they had done it behind her back like that time with Meggy.

The randomness of his thought pattern surprised him and he looked at the ticket once more before finding the platform he needed and got on his train. He found a seat and settled back thinking of his kids and his wife. He was going to go home to them someday and it would be soon. He couldn’t abandon them now.

Ella let Mike drive her home. She was too exhausted to argue with him, sitting back in the seat closing her eyes for most of the journey. He shook her shoulder waking her up.

“We’re here.” He said redundantly.

Ella nodded.

“Thanks.” She murmured her voice sounding sad.

“He did it for the best reasons Mum.” Mike said quietly. “He knew you were still angry at him and scared stupid when he said he was coming to the hospital to see us.”

“I don’t care about him and his reasons. He is dead to me now.” She told him her heart breaking all over again as she spoke. “I’ve got his baby inside me and he promised to be there. I should have got rid of it.”

“Mum god no.” Mike groaned.

He understood her tears now, she was grieving and worried and scared and Roman had abandoned her. He felt a familiar anger inside him but forced it away looking over at his Mum.

“I think he will be in touch.” He offered.

Ella shook her head.

“Mike I seriously can’t do this. This back and forth business has to stop he’s my husband he should be here. Saying he’s protecting us is not a good enough excuse anymore. We have a right to choose what is going on in our lives.” She mumbled.

“Mum.” Mike said unable to think of anything suitable. He looked into her pale tired face and sighed.

She nodded although he hadn’t said anything and reached for the door handle opening the door and climbing out before she walked over to the door and went inside. She saw Sophie and Georgie sitting up with Irene and she smiled opening her arms as Sophie ran over to her.

“Did you see the baby Mum?” she asked quickly.

“I did and she’s beautiful. She looks like Danni.” Ella said to her. “I need to talk to you and your brothers and sister.”

Sophie eased back and looked at her.

“It’s ok.” Ella murmured. “But it is a big thing so I need you to listen and be understanding for a while.”

Sophie frowned and looked at her.

“I’ll go get Meggy and Sammy.” she said easing away and walking up the stairs.

Ella looked at her before she went into the lounge. She looked at Georgie and smiled before glancing at Irene unable to meet her questioning gaze.

“What are you plotting?” Irene asked coming over to her.

“Not plotting anything. I’m going to tell them.” Ella muttered.

“Strewth Darl are you sure?” Irene gasped.

“They should know.” Ella said sounding bitter.

“Ella what has got into you?” Irene asked quickly glancing at Georgie sitting on the sofa. She gave him a quick smile when he looked over at them.

“He’s left me.” Ella said. “Cleared off. I’m going to have to cope on my own.”

Irene gasped glancing over at Georgie before looking up the stairs and seeing the others coming down.

“Into the lounge please.” Ella said giving them a smile.

She followed them, gesturing they should sit next to Georgie while she perched on the table.

“I’m sorry.” Ella began. “I know this will be horrible for you.”

“What is it Mummy?” Meggy asked.

Ella smiled at the way her daughter referred to her as Mummy. Sophie was beginning to call her Mum, a sign she was growing up.

“Is this about all the conversations that stop when we walk into the room?” Sammy asked folding his arms across his chest.

Ella nodded.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you right away.” She began. “Your Dad.” She stopped looking at them seeing the expressions on their faces and took a deep breath. “Well long before we met when he was in the army he did some missions.”

Sammy nodded then looked at Ella in horror.

“It’s ok Samson I know you’ve ready his diary.” Ella said softly.

Sammy nodded looking around the others.

“He did lots of things.” He announced to the others.

Georgie looked at him and smiled slowly encouraging him.

“Well he went and brought a bad guy to justice.” Ella said. “But now that bad guy has escaped out of prison.”

“Like Elliot?” Sophie asked.

“Something like that.” Ella murmured.

“We have to be careful?” Meggy said.

“We do but I think it will be ok.”

“Why?” Meggy muttered.

“Because he would only really be after your dad.” Ella whispered.

“Daddy’s alive.” Sammy said.

Ella’s gaze shot to his and she paled.

“Sammy?” she asked.

“I knew it. We knew it. I dreamt him.” Sammy said excitedly. “Just a while ago after you went on your photography trip. I dreamt that he came into my room and told me not to be sad anymore.”

“Sammy what are you saying?” Meggy muttered sounding angry.

Sammy stood up and put his hand in his pocket taking out a small pale green pebble. Ella immediately recognised it coming form the beach where Roman’s shack was and she gasped.

“Sammy?” she asked.

“I was dreaming him wasn’t I? Then I found this next to my bed. I thought you’d put it there.” he told her.

“What was your dream Sammy?” Sophie asked when Ella seemed unable to talk.

“That he came into my room through the window and stroked my hair. He called me Samson and said I was his hero. He said that I should stop being sad and that he would always be there for me.” Sammy explained.

Ella wiped at tears pouring down her face and she looked at Sammy unable to speak. She saw his questioning gaze and she nodded.

“Really?” Sammy asked.

Ella nodded once more unprepared for Sammy launching himself in her arms.

“I wasn’t dreaming was I? Not really. It was Daddy coming to check on me.” He asked his arms tight around her neck.

“Yes.” Ella told him.

“Can we see him?” Sophie asked.

“Not yet.” Ella told her. “But the reason I’m telling you is that I’m going to need your help.” she murmured.

“Mummy?” Meggy said.

“I’m going to have a baby. I haven’t seen Rachel yet so I don’t know if it’s ok and it wasn’t planned.”

Meggy rolled her eyes.

“See Sophie she said Daddy only had to look at her and she got pregnant.”

Sophie blushed and caught Georgie looking at her.

“What?” she asked him.

“Wondering why my little sister is blushing.” Georgie said.

“Not for that reason.” Sophie gasped out. “Wait we’re twins.”

“But you are twenty three minutes younger.” Georgie pointed out.

“You.” Sophie said rolling her eyes.

“Will he come and see us?” Meggy asked.

“Yes but I don’t know when.” Ella said quietly.

“I don’t want him here.” Georgie told them. “He could have done anything but let us go through the last year.”

Ella nodded.

“I know this is going to hard for all of you and I wish we had words that could help.” she said glancing at Irene before looking back at the children. “I wasn’t going to tell you but well being pregnant I knew I would need your help.” she explained. “The important thing is to remember that you are all going to have different opinions about this, like Georgie, and you need to respect each other. I don’t want arguing ok.”

Georgie felt Sophie glaring at him and he grinned suddenly.

“No arguing.” He said. “Got it.”

Ella smiled.

“You are going to think of lots of questions over the next few days so I want you to write them down and not talk about this except at home. I’ll try and answer all of your questions.” Ella said quietly. “As far as everyone else is concerned your Daddy is still gone.”

“So I can’t tell Angel?” Sophie said. “I’ve never kept a secret from her before.”

“I know but for the moment I’m not even going to tell Lily and Liam. They are too young to understand this.”

Sophie nodded.

“Why don’t you all go upstairs. I’m sure you want to talk about it.” Ella said softly.

She watched as they stood up and moved out of the room leaving her with Irene.

“Now you’ve gone and done it girlie.” Irene said anger tightening her lips as she spoke.

“I know.” Ella said. “Part of me is already regretting it. Did I just do that because Roman hurt me and in some way I wanted to get back at him or did I do it because I believe that he’ll be back and I’m preparing them.”

“Only your heart will know that.” Irene told her.

“Sorry Irene but my heart has been missing for over a year. I buried it when I thought I buried my husband.” Ella told her before she stood and ran out of the room and up the stairs. She realised she hadn’t even asked about the babies and frowned before stepping inside the nursery looking over at Fleur and August. She leant over their cots and pulled up blankets tucking them in, pressing kisses to the top of their heads. She loved the way they slept. August would face Fleur’s cot just as Fleur faced hers. Like they were about to hug each other. She smiled at the thought and moved out heading into the other bedroom and seeing Lily and Liam. She tugged up Lily’s blanket as her daughter slept on before going over to Liam. She pulled up his blanket grinning as he kicked it off.

“That so my man.” She said with a sad grin. “I love you both so much and I’m sorry I haven’t given you a lot of time recently. We’ll make up for that.”

She pressed a kiss to his head before walking through to her bedroom. She saw the laptop sitting on her bedside cabinet and switched it on without thinking about it. She saw immediately that he was online and she clicked on the icon bringing up the conversation window.

“I’m hurting you and I can’t stop that. I wanted to. I wanted to disappear so you didn’t have to worry about me but that would be running away wouldn’t it? That is how you’d see it. More than that I would break my promise to you and I’ve never done that.” He typed out looking at the screen.

Ella sighed before she closed the laptop.

Roman watched the screen seeing the flashing cursor before he began toying again.

“Ella I love you and I can’t ever imagine not loving you. I will do anything to protect you and keep you from harm and it keels me inside when I can’t do that. That’s why I hated it so much when you would go off and be the hero. I’ve lived through losing you so many times now and each time I’ve felt like the best part of me has gone too. I want to come home to you and to our beautiful children. I want to hold you as you get big with our child once more. I want to make love to you feeling our hearts joining together. And the reason why I can’t is….” He stopped looking at what he’d written before typing once more. “because it would hurt you more if I did.” He finished before deleting the last sentence. He looked down at the keyboard frowning at the keys.

“I’m going to make it so I come home to you.” He typed out and hit the return key.

He closed the computer and walked over to the board where they had put the intelligence they had gathered on the Ex-Serbian General beginning to re-read it once more.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 42

Ella walked into the diner with the twins in front of her. She guided them into seats and moved to the counter giving her order to Leah before going over and sitting with the two babies.

“Mama.” August cried out pouting at her.

“Your ice cream is coming young lady.” Ella said softly smiling at her daughter. She looked up when Leah came over to her with her order.

“I have the books in my bag they need you to go over them.” Leah commented.

”Ok, will you join us for a bit?” Ella asked her.

Leah nodded and sat the other side of the table smiling over at the twins.

“You ok Ella?” Leah asked after a moment.

“Yeah sorry, I’m fine my head is a bit all over the place.” Ella explained with a grin. “How is Sophie doing?”

“She’s great. I had her work here last Saturday and she cooked some great food. Think she inherited it from her Dad.”

Ella grinned and nodded.

“She spend most of her time in the kitchen now. I think she’s found her bliss.” Ella smiled thinking of her daughter leaving a batch of ginger cookies by her bed. She must have got out of bed an hour earlier than normal to bake them.

“What is it you want to ask?” Leah said quietly.

“Irene.” Ella began.

“She was in here about an hour ago.”

Ella nodded.

“Now that she isn’t needed so much at home I think she wants to come back to work.” Ella bit her lip as she said the sentence. “That kinda didn’t come out right. She’s needed but well….”

“It’s ok I get the picture. You are moving on and she’s been there for you so you want her to get her life back again.”

“Exactly.” Ella said.

“I’ll ask her.” Leah told her. “And er.. what is it between you and Angelo?”

Ella blushed bright red as she thought of the other man.

“Nothing.” She gasped out.

“Well then you won’t be interested to know that he’s been in here every day like he’s looking for you.” Leah murmured with a hint of mischief in her velvet brown eyes.

“Mama.” August called again.

“Alright babes.” Ella said softly opening up the juice box and putting the straw in. “Sip it slowly.” She instructed her daughter as she lifted it to her lips.

August clamped her lips down on the straw and sucked noisily before letting it go and making a loud burp.

Leah laughed and looked at Ella’s blushing face.

“Some things she gets from her Dad.” Ella said.

She reached for the other drink and did the same with that before holding it for Fleur as she took a drink.

“Ok babes?” she asked.

Fleur nodded her hand reaching up for the juice box.

“So what are you plans for the rest of the day?” Leah asked.

“Not sure.” Ella grinned. “Beach maybe.”

“Yes.” August cried out happily.

“Most likely.” Ella corrected herself.

Leah laughed.

“So come on how do you cope?” she asked after a minute.

“Gabby is back and she does the school run before heading into college with Daniella. She also gives a lift to Amy-Belle and Kai.”

“Do I detect any matchmaking?” Leah asked quickly.

“Kai? He’s a bit young for Gabby but well it could work.”

“No you daft mare.” Leah groaned. “Kai and Daniella.”

“Maybe. But I get the feeling that Amy-Belle would pack up and move to live nearer Toby in a heartbeat.” Ella said with a grin. She placed the juice box down and held out the other one to August watched as she took a drink before placing the juice back on the table. She handed them toys out of her bag to keep them occupied while she picked up her cup of coffee.

“We should have lunch together soon.” Ella suggested. “You, me, Rachel and Irene.”

“It’s been a long time since we did that.” Leah said slowly before she grinned. “You can tell us all about your date.”

“My what?” Ella gasped out.

“Hey there.” Angelo said moving over to her table.

Ella looked up at him and blushed catching sight of Leah chuckling opposite her. She responded by kicking her under the table.

“Ouh.” Leah muttered. “I have to get back to work. Call me about that lunch, yeah,”

“Thanks Leah.” Ella said sarcastically. “Hello Angelo.”

“Mind if I sit?” he asked.

“Please.” Ella said quietly.

He moved into the spot Leah had vacated.

“You must have been busy I haven’t seen you around lately.” Angelo said.

Ella nodded.

“Lots of kids you know.” She said with a grin. “I don’t get much time to socialise.”

“In that case I shouldn’t waste any more time and just ask you out on a date,” he told her.

“Oh I don’t know.” Ella stuttered before she grinned suddenly. “Actually you know that does sound like a good idea. How about tomorrow night?”

Angelo chuckled before looking her in the eyes.

“Tomorrow night would be good.” He murmured.

Ella smiled feeling that spark flutter inside her again.

“Around 8?” Angelo asked. “Will that give you time to sort out the kids and get ready?”

Ella nodded.

“Perfect.” She said softly.

Angelo stood up and met her gaze.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 8pm.” He confirmed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her cheek. He went over to the counter and picked up his takeaway coffee and moved out of the diner.

Leah looked at her raising her eyebrows before she grinned.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 43

“So is this alright?” Angelo asked with a gesture round the restaurant.

Ella smiled and nodded.

“It’s great.” She confirmed.

“Just that you seem a little distracted.” He told her without mentioning that his ego had begun to get a little bruised by her stand-offish manner. He gave her an earnest smile feeling happy when she chuckled and grinned back.

“Teenagers are allowed to date apparently, but not parents.” Ella confessed leaning back in her chair and taking a sip from her glass of water.

“Ah, I begin to see the problem.” He murmured.

“Yup.” She murmured. “Georgie wanted to meet you on the front veranda and inspect you.”

“Sounds like his Dad.” Angelo said.

Ella found herself paling as she immediately felt guilty at the mention of Roman. She swirled the water in her glass before taking another drink.

“How about we don’t talk about my husband and instead enjoy this wonderful night?” she suggested.

“It’s a hard subject to ignore. I know that if he even thought that I was trying to date you…”

Ella laughed wondering if he’d realise how forced it was.

“He’d come back and haunt you.” She murmured after a moment suddenly feeling awkward.

“There is that.” Angelo said with an easy smile. “Now then what would you like to eat?”

“The pasta dish sounds good.” Ella told him glancing at the menu.

“With Salad?” he asked.

“And garlic bread?” she asked back.

“Well if we both eat it.” he grinned at her.

Ella blushed at the implication on how the night was going to end up. She fiddled with her glass for a minute before she could meet his gaze.

“So what do we talk about?” she began. “Because all I’ve got is kids, cats, the diner, Roman.”

“Aren’t you a writer and photographer too?” he asked.

Ella giggled.

“I used to be. Not had much time for that lately.”

“Really? Only I thought I heard Leah say you’d been on a couple of trips lately.” He said with a frown.

Ella gave a small nod as she remembered the excuse she had used when she’d visited Roman..

“Nothing to write home about to use a cliché.” She said with a shrug.

“Really?” he asked.

Ella shrugged expressively and gave him a smiled before taking a long drink or her water.

“Shall we order?” she asked.

Angelo nodded and beckoned over the waiter. He gave the order glancing at Ella to confirm she was still happy with her choice.

“Would you like anything else to drink?” he asked her.

“Some more water.” Ella said looking up at the waiter as she spoke. She gave a little gasp recognising Brett, Aden’s son.

“No problem.” He said with a smile before moving into the kitchen.

“Ok?” Angelo asked.

“Yeah.” Ella said quietly. “Just…”

“Probably feels a bit weird not to be here with…”

“I though we agreed not to discuss Roman?” Ella grinned as she spoke before taking a long last drink from her glass. She looked up to see Brett moving back to the table with their drinks and she glanced back at Angelo.

“Excuse me.” He said placing his napkin on the table and standing. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and answered the incoming call moving away form the table.

“Before you say anything …” Brett began pouring the drinks.

“Like why are you lot spying on me? Because I could swear that you didn’t have a job here last week?” Ella muttered.

“Well it seems to me that dating whilst you are still mar……”

“Brett.” Ella gasped cutting him off.

“No one can keep a secret in this family you know.” He grinned at her. “And Gabby was a bit concerned so I pulled a few favours. The manager is an old friend of mine.”

“So you think that I’m going to what?” Ella snapped out. “Wait is there anyone that doesn’t know?”

“Colleen.” Brett replied with a cheeky grin.

“You.” Ella muttered smothering a laugh.

“Is everything alright?” Angelo asked coming back to the table.

“It’s fine.” Ella said nodding slightly.

Brett gave him a look before he moved back into the kitchen.

“Sorry about that.” Angelo said referencing the call he’d just taken. “It was my boss so I couldn’t really dodge it.”

“That’s alright.” Ella said giving him a smile. “Tell me about your job?”

Angelo smiled at her.

“Nothing really to it. I’m on a sort of detachment at the moment. Working out of Yabbie Creek station.”

“Must come across some fascinating stories.” Ella said.

“I do.” He said. “There was the man who took his wife out on their yacht and came back alone. Turned out instead of killing her as we thought she ran off with someone at one of the ports they stopped in.”

Ella smiled and took a sip of her drink. She glanced back up and saw Brett doing a mime behind Angelo’s back.

“You ok?” Angelo asked. “Got a feeling I’ve lost you again.”

“Sorry.” Ella said with a sigh. “It’s my first night out away from the kids.” She invented ignoring Brett as he did an impression of a monkey behind Angelo.

“I’m sure we could change the order and get it to go.” He suggested.

Ella shook her head and looked into his eyes. She smiled at him before she spoke again.

“No thank you I’m having a nice time despite thinking of the kids and feeling guilty.”

“I’m glad.” He murmured reaching out across the table.

Ella grinned at him before she placed her hand in his.

“Tell me that bit again I didn’t quiet get it.” Roman muttered looking over at Jacko.

“She’s on a date.” Jacko said running a nervous finger under his collar.

“A Date?” Roman muttered repeating the last phrase.

“er…. Yeah.” Jacko said.

“With a man.”

Jacko nodded.

“Would it be easier if she were dating a woman?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“Jacko.” Roman muttered warningly.

Jacko grinned.

“So what you going to do about it?” he asked from the relative safety of his living room. He glanced at the phone before holding it back against his ear.

“You mean after I kill the guy?” roman ground out.

“Angelo somebody.” Jacko said. “Risotto.”

“What? She’s dating him?” Roman asked shooting up from his seat and striding over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

Jacko heard the beer bottle opening thorough the call and chuckled to himself.

“You know him?” Jacko asked.

“Yeah, I know him.” Roman confirmed. “Look mate I need to go.”

Jacko sighed before saying bye. He looked at his phone as the call ended and grinned thinking that the call had gone better than he’d thought. For one thing he was still alive.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 44

Roman kept looking at the laptop’s screen every five minutes. Finally at 12:32 am she came online.

“What time do you call this?” he typed out.

Ella looked at the screen and bit back a smile. Someone knew she’d been on a date, she thought.

“12:33.” she typed out.

“Not funny. You are pregnant with my child. What do you think you are doing?” he muttered typing the same thing.

“Auditioning your replacement.” Ella typed back.

Roman swore fluently before downing the bottle of beer in his hand.

“Well I hope he left you satisfied.” He snapped out and for a second he was going to type the same words before realising that Ella would never forgive him for being so nasty or jealous. And he was jealous, hell he was jealous of anybody who looked at her let alone went on a date with her. His mind leapt, date, kissing, sex. Had she let Angelo kiss her? Touch her? He groaned at the mental images he was putting into his own head.

“Did you have a nice time?” he typed feeling stupid even as he sent the message.

“Is that some kind of way of asking if we had sex?” Ella put and hit the send button. “Because you do know how my hormones get when I’m pregnant.” She added grinning as she imagined the look on his face as he read that.

“You so didn’t.” he roared out.

He stood and paced over to the fridge getting out another beer before going back to the table.

“So are you planning on seeing him again?” he asked.

Ella sighed as she read the sentence.

“Well the sex was pretty good so I think I might.” Ella put as she yawned. “Now I’m going to bed I’m pretty worn out.”

Roman looked at the screen and swore again feeling jealousy in every pore of his being. He tried to convince himself that she was messing with his head but Pete and Nic had both talked about her dating and now Jacko called telling him about her date.

“I want to talk to you tomorrow will you be around?” he asked.

“I’m seeing Angelo tomorrow.” Ella put and cursed when she saw that message on the screen. She hadn’t meant to tell him who she was seeing.

“Again?” Roman bit out. “Seeing him again?”

“Well aside from you thinking you have some kind of hold over me why shouldn’t I see him again?” she asked.

“Because he’s trouble.” Roman typed back.

“I like him.” Ella put simply. “He makes me feel special and wanted. Not like someone’s mother and a part time wife. He listens to me when I talk and he doesn’t judge or try and convince me to do what he wants. Quite simply Roman Harris in one date I feel happier than I did in a year of our marriage and you can either accept that I want to move on and let me go or you can sit there and sulk. Either way I don’t care anymore. You keep letting me down and I’m not going to put up with it anymore.”

She disconnected the laptop and closed it down before switching it off and getting ready for bed. She noticed that her wedding ring was loose and sighed slipping if off her finger and placing it in her jewellery box. She knew it was a result of the past year when she’d been too busy to eat or just too sad and not some kind of sign regarding their marriage. OR whatever they had now. She climbed into bed and pulled up the covers sighing as she slipped into a deep sleep. She wanted it to be dreamless but within minutes a dream began where she was walking down the beach towards Roman and he turned to her a smile on his face. She smiled back and began running to him when she saw the bullets strike him taking him away from her again. She awoke with a sheen of sweat glistening over her body gasping in the eerie coloured light that signalled the advent of the dawn. She lay still for a few moments the images of the dream still drifting around her head before she felt the waves of nausea go through her and she darted for the bathroom.

Roman sighed with frustration, tossing in his too empty bed. Her words taunted him and he groaned. One thing or another had marred their marriage for the past ten years. First Gardy had come back and hurt Ella and then as they recovered along came Martha and then Elliot. Then when he thought that he had her back and everything was going to be ok there was Chris and his scheme and finally William. Now General Alexi Zoran Petrovic was out there somewhere and there would be no warnings he would simply kill all his family and laugh about it. He’d always promised to protect her and yet here he was miles away and she was getting something from another man that she should get from him. He tortured himself for a few minutes thinking of her having sex with Angelo, even though the part of him that was still besotted with his wife knew that she wouldn’t do that. He groaned as the alarm went off, cursing because he’d had no sleep before getting out of bed and padding over to the bathroom. He showered and dressed before heading out and setting off to work.

Ella groaned unable to lift her head from the toilet. She heard a faint knock at the bedroom door and tried to call out.

“Darl,” Irene said poking her head around the bedroom door.

“In here.” Ella gasped.

“Oh my stars.” Irene muttered walking through to the en suite and coming over to her.

“I don’t feel right.” Ella groaned.

“I’ll get Gabby.” Irene said.

Ella nodded weakly watching as the other woman disappeared out of the room. She tried to ease up but felt herself sinking down into unconsciousness.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 45

Roman couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong all day. He paid little attention to what he was doing cursing as he overcooked some of the orders or missed off ingredients. Finally he pulled himself together just in time for his shift to be over. He noticed the look on Betsy's face as pulled off his apron and shook his head to her indicating that he wasn’t going to talk about it. He wondered idly if he was ever going to be able to tell her what was going on with him as he got into his car and set off towards the shack. He frowned at the car when it stuttered going up the gentle rise before it would reach the long stretch of road that went down to the beach towards his place. Maybe Ella was right and he should get rid of it and get something else. He’d told her he didn’t have the money for it and she’d just given him that look that told him he was an idiot. She was really good at that look having got in a lot of practice with it over the years.

He muttered something under his breath as his thoughts drifted before he saw her face appear like a photo in his thoughts. She looked so sad that he gasped out loud. Pulling up outside his shack he left the car running as he moved inside and gathered together some things before getting back in the car. He began driving heading home once more.

“Ella.” Rachel called softly.

“I lost the baby didn’t I?” Ella mumbled not opening her eyes.

“I’m afraid so.” Rachel told her kindly. “I know it’s very little comfort but it may have been for the best. You know that your health would have been in jeopardy.”

Ella nodded even as tears squeezed out of the corner of her eyes.

“I want to go home.” She murmured.

“I thought you would.” Rachel murmured reaching out and wiping at the other woman’s tears away gently with a tissue. “I want to keep you in for a bit longer just to make sure you are ok and then we’ll see.”

Ella opened her eyes and looked into the kind face of her friend.

“You haven’t asked.” She said.

“You’ll tell me when you are ready.” Rachel told her. “But I think I know.”

Ella’s gaze shot to the other woman and saw she was smiling at her.

“Rachel.” She began.

“Rest please Ella. I need to go and see your family and reassure them, ok.”

“Oh god. I must have…”

“Ella shush.” Rachel admonished. “I need you to close your eyes and get some rest now or I’ll be forced to keep you in overnight anyway.”

“S’resting.” Ella mumbled closing her eyes and sinking back on the pillows. She half smiled when she felt Rachel tug up the covers before she heard the door opening and the other woman leave. She was alone with her grief them and felt the weight of loss descend up on her and she began to sob.

“Rachel.” Sophie called out quickly.

“Your Mum is ok.” Rachel said looking around the worried faces. “She lost the baby though.”

Sophie nodded and cuddled August closer to her. She glanced at Meggy who was holding Fleur seeing that her sister had done the same thing.

“She is going to be ok isn’t she?” Sammy asked.

“Yes she is. She might be sad for a while but she’ll be fine.”

“Ok bruv?” Georgie said quietly placing his hand on Sammy shoulders.

Sammy nodded.

“I just wish he were here you know.” Sammy said in a conspiratorial whisper.

Georgie nodded.

“Know what you mean bruv.” He said slowly his eyes drifting to Rachel before he glanced at the others.

“When will she be able to come home Darl?” Irene asked the other woman was sitting with a subdued Lily and Liam.

Rachel looked at her and then over at Gabby who was standing with her baby and gave a small smile.

“That was her first question too.” She told them and heard subdues laughter as some of the tension eased around the packed waiting room. “We want to keep her in a bit longer and check on her but we hope to let her out tonight.” Rachel confirmed.

“Well then it sounds as though people should start making a move.” Irene decided.

Sophie made a small sound of dismay before she looked around everyone’s faces.

“Yes.” She decided. “We need to have a nice dinner and get ready for mum to come home.” She announced to everyone.

“You cooking?” Georgie asked.

Sophie glared at him but before she could say anything Meggy spoke.

“She said nice dinner you idiot. That means pizza.”

“Hey.” Sophie protested.

“Come on then.” Gabby called out. “Babies need rest.”

Sophie nodded and looked over at the boys in a meaningful way before they got the hint and moved over to Lily and Liam. Georgie hefted Lily on to his back and carried her like that while Sammy walked next to Liam holding his hand.

“You ok Irene?” Rachel asked when they were out of earshot.

“I’m fine Darl.” Irene said although she was still pale and seemed subdued. “It’s been eventful the past few days. When we had to rush her in the kids wouldn’t go to school or wait home. Just like when they were shot.”

Rachel nodded and sat next to the other woman.

“You can talk to me in confidence if there is anything you need to say.” She began. “Ella is going to be ok.”

“I don’t think she is.” Irene muttered before closing her mouth tight. She hadn’t meant to say that in front of Rachel but she had no one else to talk to lately and it just slipped out.

“Really?” Rachel encouraged.

Irene sighed.

“She’s been coping for a year not really grieving and now this? She was a mess last year with the babies being taken.” Irene said. “Plus she has this phobia about blood. If she were really ok then she wouldn’t keep going back to that time and dreaming about it. I know she does because I’ve heard her cry out.”

“Have you let her know you are worried about her?” Rachel asked.

“Of course not, she’d only worry even more about things. And think she has to be superwoman!” Irene muttered.

Rachel tried to hide her grin as Irene looked at her but the twitch of her lips had both of them smiling.

“That’s our Ella.” Rachel said softly. “Why don’t you go get yourself a cuppa in the canteen and when you come back Ella might be ready to go home.” She suggested.

Irene nodded and stood up slowly easing the kinks out of her body. She was beginning to feel her age. She walked over to the bank of elevators and went down to the lower level and over to the canteen. She realised that she was also hungry having picked at the sandwich they’d had for lunch earlier in the day and decided on treating herself to a large slice of cake needing the sugar rush too.

Rachel moved over to the nursing station and pulled up Ella’s records on the computer. She read the notes and satisfied herself that it would be ok for the other woman to go home that night. She didn’t want to mention to Irene that Ella also had a fear of hospitals to go with that phobia and knowing Ella as she did the other woman would need sedating to stay overnight. She waited until Irene came back on the floor before heading over to Ella’s room seeing the other woman had gotten dressed and was seated on the bed.

“Just for that I might keep you in overnight.” Rachel threatened.

Ella looked at her without commenting. She remained mute as Rachel gave her a quick look over before disconnected the drip and removing it from Ella’s arm.

“Now I’m going to need to see you in a couple of days for a further check up.” Rachel murmured slowly.

Ella nodded.

“I can’t stay here.” She whispered looking at Rachel as she began her explanation of why she had got up and dressed.

“I know that is the only reason I’m letting you go tonight. But…” Rachel began.

“It’s ok Rachel, I’m stubborn not stupid. If there is anything worrying I’ll come back in but right now I just need to get the smell of this place off me.”

Rachel nodded and helped her to stand knowing that she wouldn’t want or use a wheelchair. She guided her outside where Irene was waiting.

“All set Darl?” she asked.

Ella nodded and walked with Irene out of the building. She climbed into the car with difficulty trying to ignore Irene’s concern.

“I’m really ok Irene. I just need to get home.”

“Darl are you totally sure?” she asked.

Ella nodded.

“Thank you Irene.” She whispered. “I need to see my kids.”

Irene started the car and moved out of the parking bay slowly, conscious that Ella was still in pain as she sat beside her. She began the journey home going slow and kept glancing at the other woman seeing how pale she looked and couldn’t help sighing.

Walking into the house Ella gave a small grin at the flowers on the hall table before going through to the lounge. She saw all the kids in there. The youngest ones in pyjamas with blankets and pillows and she grinned at them.

“Hey.” She called out.

“Mummy.” Meggy cried. “We’ve just ordered pizza.”

“That’s good.” Ella said moving to sit carefully on the long sofa. She smiled as Lily came over to her and carefully hugged her daughter.

“I think it must be Sammy’s turn to find a film to watch.” Ella announced. “And maybe Meggy you want to go find the secret chocolate stash in the kitchen for us.”

Meggy shot up and began moving off before she stopped and flushed guiltily.

“Georgie found it first.” She blurted out.

Ella smiled.

“Of you go.” She told them. “Sophie do you want to get Nana Rene a cup of tea?”

Sophie nodded and shot into the kitchen.

Irene smiled round them all before she picked up the throw and a couple of cushions and arranged them so Ella could sit back and rest.

“Thank you step-mama.” She murmured quietly.

“Get away wi’ya.” Irene grumbled.

Ella smiled and leaned up kissing the older woman’s cheek.

“Now what film have we got?” she asked Sammy.

“Kung fu panda.” He announced. “An action movie the younger babies can watch.”

“Interesting choice.” Ella said. “But if Lily starts karate chopping you all it’s your fault.”

Lily looked around seeing people watching her and grinned.

“Say Hi ya.” Georgie encouraged.

“George Joseph Harris.” Ella called out.

He grinned at her before moving over to sit with Liam lifting his brother on to his lap.

“Here is you tea Nana.” Sophie called placing a small tray in front of her. She’d used one of the china cups and saucers and added a couple of biscuits.

“Thank you Darl.” Irene said.

Meggy walked in next carrying a tray, which she placed on the table. She’d put on a plate of cookies and a bowl of fun size chocolate bars.

“Ok kids one treat now.” Ella said to them watching as they slowly reached for the chocolate. August held up her bar and smiling at her.

“Want it opened?” she asked her.

“Please ta.” August said softly.

Ella undid the wrapper and handed it back to her grinning as Fleur did the same. She watched as the two babies took bites from the different candy bars before they swapped with each other.

“I can’t get over how cute that is.” Irene grinned.

Lily looked at her before she climbed off the sofa strode over to Liam and snatched his chocolate off him and thrust hers at him.

“Lily that isn’t so cute.” Ella said softly. “Give Liam back his chocolate please.”

Lily pouted and slowly handed him back his candy. She looked at her mother and gave her a sad expression.

“You are still my Lily girl.” Ella called. “Sit with Liam and watch the movie. Looks it’s the panda.”

Lily sat cross-legged on the floor next to Liam and started watching the movie.

“I hope you aren’t going to start on how me and Georgie did that.” Sophie told her.

Ella smiled at her elder daughter and watched her flush prettily.

“Wouldn’t dream of wasting all those stories now I’m planning on waiting until they can really embarrass you." She told her.

Sophie went bright red before she gasped at Georgie’s grin.

“Don’t you start.” she warned him putting her hands on her hips.

Ella smiled at her before frowning as a knock at the door sounded.

“That will be the pizza.” Sophie predicted. “Sammy want to go fetch Gabby?”

Sammy nodded and shot up running out the back as Sophie went to the door and opened it up. She took the boxes from the delivery guy before handing over a tip to him and closing the door.

“Don’t bother with plates.” Ella called. “Just grab a handful of napkins.”

Sophie nodded and brought the boxes into the lounge walking over to the dinning table. She placed them down and opened them up before heading into the kitchen returning with plates for the babies. She dished out theirs chopping them up into smaller pieces before bringing them over to the coffee table.

“How about drinks?” Meggy asked.

Ella smiled at her and nodded.

“Milk for the little ones please.” She requested.

Meggy nodded and moved into the kitchen. She busied herself with getting drinks and beakers out as Sophie brought over pizza for Ella.

“Thank you Sophie.” Ella said softly.

She knew she wasn’t hungry but not for the gold in the world would she upset her beautiful caring daughter so she picked up a slice and bit into it slowly.

“Just in time for dinner.” Gabby murmured to her daughter as she walked into the room through the back door with Daniella in her arms and with Sammy, who’d fetched her up. “Want some pizza?”

Daniella nodded and held out her hand to one of the boxes on the table.

“Hang on hungry girl.” Gabby murmured with a smile.

Daniella looked at her and pouted.

Meggy brought the drinks out and placed them on the table.

“What would you like Mummy?” she asked softly.

Ella sighed wiping her fingers on a napkin.

“Could you get me a bottle of water please? I’ll take it upstairs with me I need to have a lay down.”

“We’ll take care of the little ones.” Sophie offered immediately.

“I know you will. Thank you.” Ella said smiling over at her. She grinned some more when Sophie came and fetched the pizza box from her and put it to one side.

“Alright Mum?” Gabby asked.

Ella nodded.

“Just feeling a bit tired.” She said as she eased up.

Meggy ran over to her and handed her the bottle of water.

“I can take it up…” she began to offer.

“Please everybody you’ve all been really great today. Sit down and eat and relax ok. Georgie can you give your sister a hand with the little ones?” Ella said looking round at them. “Goodnight.”

Georgie looked at Sophie and nodded.

“Sit down Soph, get some food ok.” he said taking over.

Ella smiled as she eased slowly into the hallway and up to her bedroom. She saw that they had changed the bedding and freshened the room up and she smiled gratefully as she changed into one of her night-dresses and eased into bed. She tugged up the covers and fell into a deep-exhausted sleep.

Roman swore as he eased the car to a careful stoop and parked it up covering it up so that it wasn’t seen from the road. He ran the last bit to the house and reached the back fence swearing some more as he remembered the security fence was now in place. The last few times he’d done this it’d been a lot easier to climb over and go to the back of the house. He grabbed a fallen tree branch and leaned that up against the fence using that to gain the leverage to climb over it. As he fell over the other side he was grateful that they hadn’t gone with the electrified fence, he thought laying on his back and panting up at the night sky. He forced himself upright and headed for the house keeping low as he noticed the light coming from the stables. He got to the side of the house and did some more swearing as he noticed that the roses hadn’t been trimmed back for a while. Tugging on the trellis he checked that it would hold as he began climbing up it. He found Ella’s bedroom window closed and had to use his penknife to slide under the catch to release it before he could open it. The knife slipped in his grasp and nearly ended up falling to the ground below. He managed to catch it at the last minute and folded it up putting it in his pocket once more.

He ignored the sudden qualms he had that she wasn’t alone in the bed, dismissing images of her and Angelo instantly before wondering if one of the children were in with her. He eased the window open perching precariously before he climbed inside.

He saw her in bed and kicked off his shoes going over and lying beside her.

“What?” she gasped out.

“I felt you needed me.” He said quietly.

“You can’t be here.” She muttered coming fully awake and looking at him in horror.

“I know all that.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand and looked at her. Reaching out he stroked her face and frowned when his hand came away wet. “El?” he asked.

“Just tired.” She muttered. “Go before one of the kids sees you.” She added in a sibilant hiss casting a frantic look at the door.

“El?” he said again.

She felt all her strength leaving her and fell forward into his arms and began sobbing.

“It’s going to be ok whatever it is.” He murmured.

“I…” she couldn’t find the words to tell him about the baby and then kicked herself mentally. It was more like she didn’t want to admit to losing the baby. She’d tried to get rid of it and now she would give her soul to have it back again.

“I’m here my love.” He told her as he eased her back under the covers. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

“I love you so much.” He whispered. “I’m right here. It’s going to be ok.” he added stroking her hair back form her face before lowering his lips to her cheek and kissing away her tears. “Promise.” He added his eyes boring into hers.

She shuddered and clung to him slowly falling into an exhausted sleep.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 46

Ella eased out of bed slowly and carefully before turning and looking over at Roman as he continued to sleep. She looked at his profile detesting the darkened hair and the stupid beard before sighing and tiptoeing out of the room. Moving along the corridor she went into Sammy’s room and over to his bed putting her hand on his shoulder and walking him up.

He looked at her before trying to speak lapsing into silence as she placed her finger on her lips.

“Come with me.” She whispered quietly.

Sammy looked at her frowning before he began to climb down from his bed. He walked along the hallway to their bedroom and gasped when she pointed out who was in bed sleeping.

“Mum?” he asked keeping his voice quiet.

She nodded and gave him a gentle push grinning as he ran over to the bed and launched himself on to his Dad.

“What?” Roman cried out. “Ella.” He added in a horrified whisper.

“It’s not the first time he’s seen you.” She told him. “Is it?”

Roman flinched and looked at his son hugging him to him before he shook his head.

“No I came to visit him when you and Pete told me he wasn’t doing so good.” Roman admitted.

“Stupid beard Daddy, we still know it’s you.” Sammy told him before hugging him again.

Roman groaned.

“Sammy who else did you tell?” Roman asked.

He looked up to see that Ella was gone and groaned once more. The weight of Sammy pressing down on top of the covers prevented him from moving and he found he didn’t like that. He should be getting up and leaving before anymore damage was done but as he looked up he saw Georgie and Sophie sanding in the doorway followed by a sleepy Meggy.

“Daddy?” Meggy muttered covering her mouth with her hand as she realised her shout might wake the other children.

Sophie and Meggy ran over to him hugging any part of him they could reach.

Roman forgot that he was supposed to be mad at Ella for this and grinned as he happily hugged his kids smothering his girls faces in kisses and laughing as they squirmed away from the beard.

“Georgie.” Ella prompted.

“You think him being her last night makes any difference.” Georgie said scathingly. “Where was he when you needed him Mum? Where was he when August and Fleur took their first steps spoke their first words? Where was he when I got on the footie team or got promoted in the cadets? When Sammy was so sad and lonely and none of us could help him? When you came out of the hospital and couldn’t even carry Lily?”

Roman stilled and paled looking over at his son in horror.. The realisation of what he’d done hitting him again.

Sophie looked at her brother and then her dad.

“You’ve not come home to us have you?” she asked in a small hurt voice.

“Soph.” He whispered.

She moved across the bed until she could stand up and walked over to her twin taking hold of his hand.

“I think you should go.” She told him. “Leave us alone. We’ll go back pretending you are dead.”

“Sophie.” Ella said softly. “I know you are angry and that you’ll never fully understand why this had to happen but you need to think about the times you wished he were here and missed him.”

“Oh I have.” Sophie cried out distressed. “I imagined that when I went on a date he would be sitting on the front porch with a shotgun staring at my boyfriend and the other one hundred and one things he’s missed. But he chose to leave us Mum. He walked away from us. He left us thinking that he was dead knowing we would grieve for him. Well those were a waste of my tears.”

Sophie.” Roman cried out.

Sammy looked at Meggy and then Sophie and Georgie before he nodded and stood up walking away from the bed and going to stand with them. Meggy frowned caught in the middle of the silent war going on right then. She eased off the bed and ran past them running up the stairs and going to the room she shared with Sophie.

Roman pushed the covers down and stood up. He walked over to the dresser and pulled on his trainers before looking at his three children standing quietly watching him.

“Ella.” He said softly.

“I can’t make this better.” She told him.

“I need to speak to you in private.” He told her.

She nodded and looked at the children before stepping in front of them and closing the door.

“What?” she asked.

“Why were you crying?” he murmured folding his arms across his chest. He felt at a major disadvantage like the children had ambushed him in some way and stripped away all his defences. He couldn’t come back even when it was all sorted.

“Because I lost the baby.” She told him in a hoarse whisper.

Roman looked at her in horror and sank down to the floor, his legs unable to support him. He realised then that he was hoping that baby would be his way back to being her husband and being a father again and now it was gone. Everything was gone. He looked up and saw Ella crying once more and couldn’t go over to her no matter how much he wanted to.

“El.” He cried out pain etched over his face. He held up his hand in appeal.

Ella looked at him and shook her head.

“Georgie has a point.” She whispered. “You weren’t there for me.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” he shouted at her. “That I don’t know how much damage I’ve done to this family? Georgie has grown three inches since I’ve been gone. I’ve missed that. I missed Sophie’s change of hair colour. I missed Sammy and Meggy and Lily and Liam. I lost out on seeing first steps and hearing first words. My son was recalled and sent overseas and I could have stopped that in some way because god if anything has happened to him. Danni leaving. Gabby and Jacob splitting up. My friends being targets. Because in some sad pathetic way I thought that I was protecting you when I walked away from you.”

He gasped feeling his throat raw from shouting and tears pouring from his eyes.

“And that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s all been for nothing. I’ve lost you.”

Ella nodded and stepped back.

“You lost me the minute you decided this was how it was going to be.” She told him wiping at her eyes. “I know I’ve come to you but not any more. I’m going to do what is best for my family. We’re going away for a while. We need a holiday from all this drama.” She decided

He nodded at her and looked away before wiping face. Forcing himself upright he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Ella sank down on the bed feeling her heart ripped out of her and closed her eyes. She looked up to see that Sophie had opened the door and was standing there looking at her.

“You did that for us.” She said to her mother. “But we don’t want your sacrifice Mum, You love Dad and he loves you. Don’t let this be the last conversation you have with him. We’re kids we’ll get over this.”

Sammy nodded.

“We’re allowed to get mad at him. Don’t make him leave for good.” He said before looking at Georgie and then prodding him with his hand.

“Yeah yeah.” Georgie muttered. “I’m still mad but he came didn’t he?” he said looking at Sophie and seeing her nod. “He wasn’t told about you he just turned up knowing something was wrong.”

Ella nodded too choked up to speak.

“So don’t let him leave thinking we all hate him because we don’t ok. He’s our dad and maybe we don’t want him slotting back straight away but we want him around. He doesn’t even know I cook and that Meggy writes or Georgie draws.”

Sammy coughed and glared at her.

“Or Sammy er.. does his thing.”

“You don’t even know what my thing is.” Sammy muttered with a pout.

Georgie looked at his bother expectantly.

“So what is your thing?” he asked.

Sammy grinned.

“I’m going to be a tap dancer.” He announced with a flourish.

“Er Sammy.” Meggy said from behind him having come back down. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked sad..

He turned and grinned at her.

“I know what you are thinking, you never see me practice but well have you seen the taps we have in this place? Way too dangerous I nearly fell in the sink the other day.” He murmured sounding serious.

They looked at each other dumfounded for a moment unsure how to react before the first giggles erupted.

“Oh Samson.” Meggy cried coming over and hugging him.

“Don’t let him leave please Mum.” He said slowly.

She nodded and stood up moving over to the bathroom before turning and looking at them once more.

“Planning to eavesdrop again?” she murmured giving them her best “mother” look.

“Of course.” Sammy told her.

“Samson. I think that was mother speak for get out of here.” Meggy pointed out.

“Sorry didn’t quite hear you.” Sammy muttered.

Meggy rolled her eyes and looked at Georgie before the pair of them hooked their arms through Sammy’s and began leading him away.

Sophie gave her a grin.

“I’ll start breakfast.” She told her. “If he shaves off the stupid beard I’ll even make coffee.”

Ella gave her a slow smile before she walked into the en suite. She saw Roman sitting on the side of the bath and their eyes met.

“You hear any of that?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Seems they kinda love you.” She murmured.

“Yeah, well it’s not enough. I need my wife to love me too and I’ve hurt her too much for that.”

“Never had you down as a quitter.” She said slowly.

He glanced at her then looked away before finally turning to her.

“I’m sorry about the baby.” He said quietly. “I didn’t realise how much I wanted another baby. Makes me a selfish bastard to want to put you through that again.”

Ella looked at him.

“Sophie is cooking.” She murmured. “She said she’d do coffee too if you shave off the beard.”

“She did huh?” he said reaching up and touching his face.

Ella walked over to the bathroom cabinet and took out a razor and placed it on the sink. She added a tin of shaving foam next to it.

“El.” He whispered.

“I’m going to see to the babies and then go downstairs.” She told him before leaving the room.

Roman groaned and stood going over to the mirror. As he looked at his reflection he wanted to smash the mirror erasing this image of himself. Instead he put a blob of shaving foam into his hand and lathered up his face before reaching for the razor. He knew that he was committing himself into coming home and frowned pausing the razor halfway to his face.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 47

Roman eased down the stairs hearing the chatter of all the children. He paused on the stairs midway and sat down listening enjoying hearing them talk. He’d missed this so much he admitted his heart pounding. He glanced at his watch and frowned before realising that Ella must be keeping them off school. He stood and walked through to the lounge seeing them sitting at the big table at the end of the room and stopped looking at them.

Meggy grinned at the others before she shot up and ran over to him tugging on his hand and guiding him to a chair.

“Morning Darl.” Irene greeted him like he’d never been away and he found his eyes misting with fresh tears.

“That beard hasn’t quite disappeared.” Ella commented looking at a trimmed version.

“I owe it to Betsy to go back and made things right.” He said to her.

She nodded.

“And then?”

“And then can I come home please?” he asked.

Ella looked at him and then the kids.

“We talked.” She began. “It’s not going to be easy having you back.”

He nodded.

“And the threat is still out there.” he pointed out.

She looked round the kids once more.

“We’ve decided.” She told him. “That you are going to take a room in the stables. It would probably be best if you were to keep a low profile for the first few months.”

Roman nodded looking up when Sophie put a cup of coffee in front of him. She added a plate of food standing nearby while he looked down.

“It looks really good.” He commented.

Sophie blushed and grinned happily before she moved to sit back at the table in her seat.

“So .” he began looking at Ella.

“So yes, we want you to come home. All of us.” She murmured finally.

“We do.” Sammy told him. “We talked.” He added nodding at the others. He turned and looked at Georgie.

“Er yeah.” Georgie said with an embarrassed cough. “I’m er… sorry for …. Well stuff.”

Roman looked at him son and for the first time in the past hour he smiled.

“That’s ok. I’m er sorry for being dead.” He said back to Georgie.

They looked at each other for a long moment before Sophie tapped her spoon on the table interrupting the intense look.

“I think that means I should try her cooking.” Roman said.

“Good luck.” Georgie said to him.

“Hey!” Sophie called out glaring at her twin.

“Yeah, you’re going to want to be back in witness protection.” Sammy added a grin on his face.

“Boys stop teasing your sister.” Roman murmured before his gaze shot to Ella’s in horror. Had he overstepped the mark with the comment he wondered to himself. Where did he fit in.

“You heard him stop teasing me.” Sophie told them.

He caught Ella looking at him and grinned when she winked. He was home.

“God Sophie this is amazing.” He said awe-struck as he tried the food. She’d cooked a cheese and bacon omelette with chives and spring onion. On the side she’d grilled tomato with a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out the full flavour. He cleared his plate before lifting his coffee cup and inhaling the fragrance before taking a sip.

“Nice?” Ella asked him with a smile.

He nodded.

“Where are Lily and Liam?” he asked. “And the twins.”

“We took them over to eat breakfast with Gabby until we’d talked about things.” Ella explained.

He nodded his understanding.

“So why haven’t you gone to school?” he asked them.

Georgie looked at him about to snap before he caught Sammy looking at him.

“Because of Mum.” He answered instead.

Ella coughed placing her hand over her mouth making Georgie flush.

“Fine, we used that as an excuse to grab a couple days off.” Georgie admitted grinning at his Mum.

“So what do you want to do today?” she asked them. “Bearing in mind I want to be quiet.”

Sophie flushed looking over at her mother like she’d forgotten about her losing the baby.

“Er…” she stuttered.

“Swimming. That will keep Lily occupied until we drain the pool to get her out of it.” Meggy suggested.

“Seems like a good idea. Even better Idea if you give your rooms a bit of a tidy for me and bring laundry down.” Ella said.

“Darl.” Irene began.

Ella nodded at her as she sipped from her glass of water.

“It’s ok.” she said softly. “Not proposing I do it today.”

Roman sighed before his eyes met hers.

“I’m going up for a lay down.” she said quietly. “We should talk?” she said to him.

He nodded.

“Ok.”

“I’ll clear the table.” Georgie said. “Do we fetch the others back?”

“Gabby is going to keep them until 10.” Irene told him.

“Oh.” Roman said and found them looking at him. “Fine, ok, I miss Lily and Liam too, and the babies. I bet I have no idea how to tell them apart.”

“Neither do we.” Sammy said. “But Mum knows.”

Ella smiled at Sammy.

“Lily knows too.” Ella pointed out.

She eased up from the table and moved around it placing a quick kiss to Irene’s cheek before moving slowly out of the room. Roman looked at them and then stood following Ella. He saw she’d waited for him and he quickened up to catch up with her on the stairs. Going up them he caught hold of her hand.

“So you ok?” he asked. “I mean you got a clean bill of health?”

Ella nodded.

“Rachel let me out didn’t she?” Ella said.

“That just mean she gave in.” he pointed out.

Ella laughed before going into the bedroom and over to the bed. He moved to the chest of drawers and looked at her.

“So why did you come?” she asked him.

“I felt you were sad and in pain.” He admitted after a moment of silence.

Ella sighed before she lifted her gaze to him.

“I’ve been sad and in pain since the day they told me you were dead.” She pointed out.

“I thought we were getting past this.” He said.

“Losing the baby made everything hurt all over again.” Ella said looking down at her feet. She kicked off her slippers and moved so that she was lying in the bed. Roman watched before he walked around the bed and sat down on it. Sighing he moved so that he was lying next to her.

“That isn’t what I meant by talking.” She said after a moment.

Roman sighed.

“I’ve never been so scared as I am right now. Anything I say could be wrong. It could have you throwing me out and never seeing you again.”

Ella sighed.

“And how would that make you feel?”

Roman laughed at the question.

“Since when did you become a shrink?” he murmured.

Ella turned in the bed slowly and looked at him before she placed her head on his shoulder and snuggled closer.

“I am sorry that I wasn’t here. Maybe things would have been different.” He whispered sounding guilty.

Ella sighed.

“I don’t think anything would have changed.” Ella told him.

He shyly moved to put his arms around her and held her close and the first tears came.

“It’s ok.” he said stroking her back in smooth circles. “It’s all going to be ok.”

“Liar.” Ella mumbled. “You have no idea what we are going to do or how we are going to get through this.”

“Yup.” He agreed with her. “But I know it’s going to be ok because we have really wonderful kids and you are letting me hold you even thought it’s really hard going between us right now.”

Ella half chuckled half sobbed before she snuggled closer.

Roman looked at her before he lowered his lips to hers and placed a single kiss on her mouth.

“I should call Pete and Jacko.” He said after a moment.

She nodded.

“Or I could go on holding you until you fall asleep.”

Ella sighed.

“I think you should definitely do that.” She whispered. “And don’t you dare look smug.”

“Smug? No way. Seriously I’m still petrified here.”

Ella giggled before she pressed herself closer.

“Shut up and hold me solider.” She said after a moment her voice drowsy.

“Always.” He vowed.

He pressed another kiss to the top of her head before reaching down and pulling up the covers tucking her under them.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Warning: Contains some upsetting scenes

Chapter 48

Roman heard footsteps outside the door and eased off the bed, not that he wanted to let go of Ella but he sensed that he should get up. He eased the cover over her hearing her sigh and bit back his own before picking up his discarded shoes and moving quietly outside.

“Daddy.” Nic called out in a little girl voice.

He nodded and placed his finger to his lips before taking hold of her arm and leading her down the stairs. He moved into the lounge with her and sat on one of the sofas.

“Feel free to hit me.” He told her with a rueful grin.

Nic nodded.

“I would but I’ve just had a manicure and I don’t want to break a nail.” She said to him in a tremulous voice that was full of emotion.

“I am sorry.” Roman said. “I can’t tell you how much but I really did think I was doing it for the best.”

“Is it safe?” Nic asked glancing around looking to make sure the other children couldn’t hear her.

“No.” Roman said.

“Tell me.” She begged huskily.

Roman looked over at her not seeing Natalie’s features in her face like he normally did but the strength of her jaw and the flash of her eyes was all him. He smiled despite the subject matter he was about to tell her.

“We were in a small town in former Yugoslavia, now Bosnia. It was called Velika. Jacko, Pete and James were with me.”

“Not Gardy?” Nic asked. “Or Elliot’s brother, Mark.”

“No.” Roman murmured. “It was before either of them joined our unit. We were parachuted in behind Serbian lines. The conflict was supposed to be over but there were still skirmishes. Nato sent in peace keepers and tried to control a no fly zone.” He continued in the same tone of voice.

“Was it before Ella?” Nic asked.

“Long before Ella. I was young and very stupid. Or as Jacko would say cocky.” He said with a rueful smile. “We laid low, had no choice most of our equipment was lost in the drop. I didn’t have my gun.”

“What were you sent there to do?” Nic asked in a hoarse whisper.

“I was sent there to kill a man.” Roman said quietly.

Nic stood and walked over to fireplace. She picked up a photo of her father from the mantelpiece and looked at it, seeing an image of him with Sammy and Georgie grinning up at the camera as they messed about. She looked at it and then him.

“Before you continue tell me how you can be that man and my Dad? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know if there are words to tell you. It’s a long time ago. When I’m a solider it’s about duty and the mission. Keeping people safe. And sometimes that means taking out the bad guy.”

Nic nodded before she put the photo to one side and moved to sit again.

“Nic?” Roman prompted.

“I don’t know. Is that why Ella stopped you from going after them?” she whispered.

“Nic, when I’m that other person it hurts me.” Roman said after a long pause. He looked at Nic and over to where she’d stood a moment ago seeing the pictures that Ella had taken of the family. “It takes part of me away. Some part of me that just wants to be a Dad and a husband. It taints what I do and brings me down. Everything I touch seems so poisoned by it.”

Nic sighed and looked at him.

“So,” she said quietly.

“We stayed put for a day considering our options. There was a British camp two days hike away we could have gone to. We set out the following morning and that is when we found them.” Roman shuddered as he remembered.

“Them?” Nic asked.

He groaned as he related the next part of the story.

“Mass graves. A big pit in the woods with hundreds of people in.” he told her feeling his throat close as the emotion got to him.

“Dad.” Nic gasped putting her hand to her throat and looking at him.

He nodded.

“That’s when we decided that he needed to pay. He was the General in charge and he gave the orders.” Roman said moving on with the story. He knew that if he closed his eyes he would see the dark mud sucking down the people into the ground, sightless eyes staring back at them and hands stretching up in an everlasting appeal. The dank smell seeming to be on his clothes, his hair, and his skin. The four of them silent as they surveyed the scene before their eyes met and they turned heading back to Velika determined to make Alexi Petrovic pay for his crimes.

“We scavenged some weapons and formed an assault on the compound. Not a serious one, just something to test the defences. Three nights later we hit it for real. Taking out the guard posts and getting into the compound.” He stopped and looked at Nic seeing the look on her face. “Nic?” he asked.

“Carry on.” She said pressing her lips together to stop them trembling.

He nodded and began again.

“We had to keep a low profile for a few days as we plotted the way out of there.”

“Wouldn’t it have been better to have an escape route before you took him prisoner?” Nic asked tilting her head to one side.

Roman flushed and nodded.

“Yes but we were improvising.” He mumbled.

“They ribbed you about that didn’t’ they?” she asked with a half grin on her face.

Roman nodded once more.

“Just a little.” He confessed. “Anyway we set out to the Brits camp and brought him in. “

“Just like that?” she asked.

Roman nodded.

“A little like that.” He said.

“I see.” Nic said dryly.

“They put him on trial and I testified to the graves. “ he said softly looking at her. “He threatened me in open court that he was going to kill me. I believed him.”

“I thought that nothing scared you.” Nic mocked softly.

“Yeah well, he paid a visit to his lawyer when he got out. He killed him and his three children before turning the wife over to his men.” Roman said feeling a strange sense of unease going through him.

“Ella.” Nic said quietly.

Roman nodded.

“After what she’s been through already because of my past, well there was no way I could be with her knowing that someone else was out there and would do worse to us. She’d never survive the loss of one of our kids let alone...” his voice broke as he looked at his daughter. “And you, Danni or Gabby. Even Sophie.”

“Dad.” Nic gasped out feeling tears springing into her eyes.

“I know it was evil to do that to you all and that I can never expect you to forgive me but I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you, to any of you.” He said quietly. “And Ella.”

Nic looked at him and nodded with understanding of when he meant.

“So what now?” She asked after a moment.

“Ella has said I can come home.” He began.

“Really?” Nic murmured looking at him.

“He’s still out there.” Roman said slowly.

“Well the kids know you are alive.” She said to him. “What are you going to do?”

“I can’t be out there now.” He said standing up and walking to the back door. He looked out and spotted Lily and Liam in the garden. He had to resist the urge to run out there and engulf them in his arms for a long overdue hug knowing that he would scare the life out of them.

“Out there?” Nic asked.

He turned and gave her a look, the loneliness of the past year etched into every line of his face.

“Away from you.” He whispered. “Away from Ella.”

Nic nodded.

“So you are coming home?”

Roman nodded.

“Staying over with Gabby.” He murmured with a twist of his lips. “Keeping a low profile. Knowing Petrovic he will start trying to find out if I’m truly alive or dead.”

“And then?” she asked holding her breath.

“We capture him and turn him in.” he said to her.

“How many others are out there with a score to settle?” Nic asked him a trace of bitterness in her voice.

“Too many to list.” Roman told her his eyes still on his small son and daughter. He caught sight of August and Fleur running up the garden to play with Lily and Liam and he sighed before turning to Nic once more. “If you want me to admit that at times I’ve been an idiot and I’ve been careless with my life then I’m happy to say that. But I had nothing Nic, I thought you were gone from my life and I didn’t think that someone like Ella not only existed but would love me. So I took chances and did things I’m not proud of. I’d like to think that I’ve grown up since then.”

Nic sighed and stood up walking over to the kitchen pouring out a coffee for herself.

“What if you can’t find him? Are you planning on hiding out forever?” she asked sipping from the cup and looking at him from the archway.

“We’ll have to discuss that and come up with a solution.” He said quietly referring to the people who’d put him in witness protection and also Pete, Jacko and James.

“Would that be a violent solution?” she asked.

“Nic.” He protested.

She grinned suddenly and caught him giving her a look.

“Well you were starting to look serious.” She said. “I’m not surprised that Ella is making you sleep over there she and Angelo have been out quite a bit. He’s been good with the twins too.”

Roman swore under his breath and looked up to see Nic giving him a look.

“Face it Dad it’s been a year. She’s entitled to move on.” She said slowly sipping from her cup to hide the smile that she had on her face as she teased him.

“I’m aware of that.” He muttered folding his arms across his chest.

Nic nodded.

“I’m going to go. I have to pick up Mira.” She murmured.

“Nic.” He said stepping forward.

She took a step back.

“Sorry.” She murmured quickly. “But I’m not ready to accept you back as Dad. It’s going to take some time.”

“Of course.” He said trying not to feel disappointed.

She grinned suddenly before stepping over to him and throwing her arms around him.

“Nic?” he said puzzled as he hugged her back.

“Sophie bet me I couldn’t play it cool. She said I would squeal and throw myself into your arms right away.”

He chuckled before hugging Nic tight.

“I’ll let her know that you did indeed play it cool.” He muttered. “But…”

“I’ve missed you dad.” She whispered before kissing his cheek. “Don’t go away again will you?”

“I promise.” He whispered.

“Good.” She said easing out of his arms and moving to the door. She turned and gave him a grin before walking out the front door and heading to her car. Roman watched her go before he turned and looked out the back again at the little ones.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 49

Ella awoke slowly sighing when she realised she was alone. She eased up and moved into the en suite taking a quick shower before dressing in a long maxi dress and fussing with her hair before pinning it up. She slipped her feet into sandals and moved down the stairs slowly. She heard children chattering and moved towards them grinning as Lily shot up from her seat and moved to hug her.

“Hey Lily squeals.”

“I not squeals.” Lily cried out.

“Not even if I ickle you?” Ella asked softly.

Lily giggled and hugged her tighter before she ran back to Liam’s side.

“He’s over with Gabby.” Sophie murmured seeing her mother’s enquiring look. “Didn’t want to upset these two.”

Ella nodded.

“So what have you been up to?” she asked them before heading into the kitchen.

“Most playing outside.” Sophie murmured. “That right Lily squeals.”

Lily shook her head.

“I so not squeals.” She told her sister in a stroppy voice.

Ella giggled from the kitchen before she peered round the archway.

“Meggy I thought I told you not to babysit.” She called out.

“Huh.” Meggy squealed in a high pitched voice before she grinned. She stood up and moved over to her mother. “We’re hungry.” She told her.

“Then cook something.” Ella replied.

“I was wondering if we could have a bbq?” she murmured biting her lip as she gave her mother a look.

“Not sure that is a good idea.” Ella told her. “I know you want things to go back to normal but we need to be careful.”

Sophie shook her head and glared at Meggy.

“Shut up.” Meggy muttered catching the look from her sister. “I know you don’t want him here but he’s my Dad.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want him Meggy. But you need to….”

“Enough.” Ella said cutting through the rising voices. She gave both girls a look before she spoke again. “If this is going to cause these kinds of fights then I will tell him to go again and I don’t think any of you really want that do you?”

Meggy shook her head tears springing into her eyes.

“I’m not feeling the best Meggy so not only do I want to be cautious about your Dad being here I want to be quiet, ok? Sophie you are trying to mediate between your twin and the rest of us and that isn’t fair. Georgie is strong enough to say what he needs to say and he doesn’t need you sticking up for him. Just because you are twins doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything.”

Sophie nodded and looked over at Lily seeing their sister watching them all.

“Now as a compromise I’m happy to do a quick buffet meal for tonight and we sit round the tv watching some films.” Ella told them.

“Including him?” Meggy asked.

Ella nodded.

“If that is ok with everyone?” Ella said looking at Sophie.

She nodded and looked at her sister.

“Meggy I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“That’s ok Soph.” Meggy said quickly. “I know it’s not easy having him back but he’s my Daddy and I’ve missed him. I know Sammy has too.”

“Georgie.” Sophie whispered beginning to say something.

“He’s been head of the family for a year.” Ella said softly. “He’s taken care of us and your Dad coming back when there is still danger out there well it’s hard for him to understand.”

Sophie nodded.

“Something like that.” She admitted.

“Well I’m sure he’ll be ok with some time and understanding.” Ella said to both of them. “Where is he?”

“He and Sammy are playing some stupid war game.” Meggy muttered.

“Wouldn’t let you play huh Megs?” Ella asked her daughter.

“No and I got the highest score on it.” Meggy said pouting. “Stupid boys. I bet I could go into the army cadets if I wanted and be better than Georgie.”

Ella grinned at her before she poured out a coffee for herself taking a sniff of the dark brew. She walked over to sit with Lily and Liam and reached for the remote turning the Tv off.

“Hey Lils.” She began. “Liam.”

Sophie looked at Meggy and grinned.

“I’ve got a big surprise for you. Remember how sad we were when Daddy died?” Ella began and frowned at herself hearing the words coming out of her mouth. She ignored the smirk that Sophie gave her and focused on her two babies. “Well it seems that Daddy didn’t die he had to go away for a while.”

“Dada?” Liam asked his voice sounding puzzled.

“That’s right Dada.” Ella said. “Would you like to see Dada?”

Lily frowned and looked at her mother as if to say ‘what drugs are you on?’ Liam moved off the sofa and stood looking at her.

“Now?” Ella asked him.

Liam nodded.

“Dada.” He cried out looking around.

Ella looked longingly at her just poured out coffee before she stood and began to move off with Liam. She turned back and looked at Lily.

“Coming?” she asked her.

Lily gave her a look before she stood and began following her. She kept her arms folded across her chest and a frown lined her face making her look very fierce. Ella had to bite the inside of her cheek not to grin at her very cute daughter. She caught Sophie and Meggy smirking behind her as they began to follow her out the back and across the garden to the stables.

Liam let go of her hand and pushed at the door opening it and running inside.

“Need to teach him to knock.” Ella muttered to herself.

“Dada?” Liam shouted.

They walked through to the kitchenette diner and saw Roman standing with Gabby. Daniella was in his arms and he tightened his grasp involuntarily as he caught sight of his son.

“Better give her to me.” Gabby told him grinning as her daughter fussed.

He handed her over before walking up to Liam and kneeling down.

“Hey my man.” He said softly.

“Not Dada.” Liam told his Mum pointing to the beard.

“Bet it is.” Ella told him with a grin.

Liam looked again before he burst into happy tears and launched himself at Roman.

“Dada.” He cried out.

Lily stood to one side looking at him with her head tilted on to one side her arms still folded.

“Lily.” Roman called softly.

“Dada.” She said looking up at Ella.

Ella nodded.

“Dada no here.” Lily muttered tapping her foot as she looked at her mother. “No cuddle August.”

“I know but Dada had good reasons.” Ella explained.

Lily shook her head.

Liam looked at his sister before he eased out of his Dad’s arms and moved over to her side.

“Smell Dada.” He said to her.

Ella bit back another smile and looked at Lily.

“Well Lily squeals.” She said.

“Dad spank.” Lily said. “noorties.”

Sophie giggled behind them before grunting as Meggy hit her arm.

“Hey.” She muttered.

“Alright then if you don’t want Dada here.” Ella said to her. “We’ll tell him that he’s noorties and to go away.”

“No!” Lily cried out running over to Roman and throwing herself at him. She squeezed his neck tight and he over balanced falling backwards with the force of her hug. He chuckled when Liam threw himself at him too.

“You know I wasn’t sure she was doing you or Dad.” Gabby muttered.

“The foot tapping is Ella.” Roman said before he could stop himself.

“The arms is you.” Ella snapped back.

“Yeah, but I only do it to show off my biceps.” Roman grinned when he saw the flash of colour that went across Ella’s face. He’d show her that no matter what Angelo did he wasn’t the man to make her happy.

“We’re going to do a buffet dinner and watch some movies.” Ella said feeling flustered.

“Cool.” Gabby murmured. “What can I do to help?”

“Go to the shop for me?” Ella asked her. “Not sure what is in the fridge so I might need a few things.”

Roman found his eyes meeting Ella’s and he resisted the urge to say he’d go for her. Not that he could, imagining the looks on everyone’s face as he walked around the town suddenly alive.

“No problem.” Gabby grinned at her. “We’ll be over in a bit.”

Ella nodded and leaned down to Lily.

“Stay here with Dada?” she asked her.

Lily nodded shyly.

“Ok babes.” Ella smiled at her and kissed her. “Liam?”

“Dada.” He cried out quickly.

She smiled at him and kissed him.

“Kiss Dada.” Lily told her.

Her eyes met Romans and she glared at him as he didn’t even try to hide his grin. She leaned forward and kissed him softly, nipping on his lip as he tried to deepen the kiss.

“Ouh.” He muttered shooting her a hurt look.

Ella smiled at him innocently before she stood up and walked back with Sophie and Meggy.

“So you don’t mind if he doesn’t stay with us Mummy?” Meggy asked her eyes shinning with mischief.

“It isn’t too late for me to put you up for adoption.” Ella muttered and heard Meggy giggle.

“So is. Who’d have me now I’ve been corrupted by you and Daddy.”

Ella groaned before she giggled and hugged her daughter.

“You are too knowing for your own good my Meggy girl.” She murmured.

Sophie giggled and began running into the house.

“Lets see what we can cook.” She announced looking in the fridge.

Ella smiled at her daughters before she moved into the lounge and reclaimed her coffee. It was still drinkable so she eased on to the sofa and sipped form the cup.

“Hey Darl.” Irene called coming in through the front door with the twins.

Ella looked at her and grinned at her daughters.

“Hey where have you been?” she asked them.

“Be’ch.” August lisped sweetly.

She smiled and moved over to them opening her arms sighing as they ran into her embrace, smelling so beautiful that she couldn’t help but grin as she inhaled the sweet baby fragrance they still had. She felt sadness rush through her veins for a second and frowned before forcing the emotion back. She had her health and her wonderful kids, trying for more was greedy she reasoned before catching Irene looking at her.

“We’re doing a buffet and sitting watching some movies.” She told her.

Irene nodded.

“I’ll make myself scarce.” Irene said.

“Don’t you dare step-mama.” Ella gave her a quick grin.

Irene chuckled.

“Don’t want to be alone with him?” she asked.

“Irene!” Ella gasped out.

“They’ve already kissed.” Meggy called.

“Ignore that child we’re putting her up for adoption.” Ella said before taking hold of her babies hands and leading them through the back. She ignored Meggy making kissing sounds as she made her way back over to Gabby'’s. She hoped her daughter had some coffee made she needed a cup she thought feeling her cheeks growing warm.

“Hey.” She called out knocking and going inside.

“In here.” Gabby called.

Ella walked through to the lounge and saw Roman sitting with Liam and Lily on the sofa. He had one of Daniella’s storybooks open and was reading them a story.

“Hello.” Gabby called out to the twins.

“’Abs.” Fleur murmured shyly.

“Wow.” Roman murmured awe-struck. He looked at the identical girls wearing pink dresses and sighed. “Which…”

“is which?” Ella finished for him. “Guess.”

Lily pointed.

“August.” She told her Dad.

He grinned at Lily and kissed the top of her head before easing off the sofa and kneeling in front of the twins. He looked at both his beautiful girls and sighed before smiling.

“Freckles.” He said.

Ella grinned at him.

“This is Fleur.” He said. “And this one is August.”

Ella nodded before she knelt down next to her babies.

“Girls this is your Daddy.” She told them. “He’s had to be away for a long time but now he’s home he wants to give you lots of cuddles.”

Roman nodded feeling emotion choke him up before he opened his arms to them.

August looked at Fleur and tilted her head before nodding at the same time Fleur did.

“Ok that wasn’t spooky.” He said.

“Oh you’ll get used to that.” Ella smiled at him.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

“Thank you for my wonderful children.” He whispered.

Ella nodded not saying anything as the twins moved into his arms and hugged him. She could tell he was shaking and she couldn’t help but put her arms around him and hold them all for a moment.

“Wait so it’s the freckles.” Gabby muttered. “And he would know that because?”

Roman smiled at his eldest daughter.

“Because he still counts mine.” Ella explained easing up and moving over to Gabby’s side.

“Even after all this time?” Gabby murmured and caught Roman looking at Ella before she sighed.

“Yes.” He told them. “Even now. Just like you all have my eyes you have her freckles on your nose. Including the boys.”

Ella chuckled.

“I suppose you are going to say that you fell in love with her because of her freckles.” Gabby muttered.

Roman shook his head.

“I first fell in love with her because she smiled at me.” He said quietly.

Ella looked down before she looked at him and smiled again, his special smile.

“When I first kissed her I noticed the freckles on her nose.” He murmured.

Ella blushed and folded her arms.

“Well anyway I need to get back.” she announced and disappeared out the door.

“Mama gone.” Lily said with a chuckled. “Her face red.”

Gabby caught Roman’s grin and chuckled.

“You are going to get in trouble.” She murmured to him.

“I’m innocent.” Roman said before he hugged his daughters and lifted them up and over to the sofa with him.

Gabby laughed and looked at the way her mother had gone before she smiled and moved to see to Daniella.