Missing Heart

[TelephotoMarigold]

Ok this update is for everyone except Carina who is BANNED... again. and if anyone does have Conrad's number....... I'll make it worth your while....

Chapter 30

Roman sat working on the computer when he saw the instant chat message come on the screen and he frowned before clicking on the envelope icon. He knocked his cold cup of coffee and had to mop that up before he noticed the scene before him.

Ella sat on the bed behind Sophie. She was using the curling tongues on their daughters hair putting in long ringlet curls. Meggy was there too holding up outfits in front of her sister.

“Now then I want to know exactly who he is.” Ella murmured.

“Oh Mum.” Sophie groaned rolling her eyes. “You’ve met him. He’s on the footie team with Georgie.”

“But I need to know who is dating my daughter.” Ella protested. “So name please.”

“Steve.” Sophie said slowly.

“Sophie and Stevie.” Meggy murmured.

“Megan.” Sophie cried out.

Ella chuckled before she moved the hair tongs to the other side of her head and curled that.

“Steven Jackson.” Sophie said. His dad owns a fishing trawler.”

“Ok and who is driving you?” Ella said softly.

“His Mum. Are you alright to pick us up still?” Sophie asked worriedly.

“Yes. The babies will be in bed so I can come and get you.” Ella told her gently. “I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time watching the film.”

“And eating snacks. Go for the big box of popcorn.” Meggy told her. “That way you can share.”

“Share?” Ella asked Meggy. “Have you not seen Sophie with popcorn?”

“Oh Mummy.” Sophie said rolling her eyes.

Meggy giggled.

“Anyway Princess Sophie which one?” she asked her sister holding up the outfits.

“The one with the longest skirt.” Ella said quickly.

“Mother.” Sophie gasped.

“Sophie how many times have I got pregnant?” Ella asked.

“A million.” Meggy said.

“Exactly. Sometimes all it took was your Dad just looking at me for me to get pregnant, so you’ll be covered from your head to your toe young lady.”

Sophie burst out laughing.

“That one.” She said pointing to the green mini skirt. “But with that blouse.” She added pointing to the other outfit.

“Good job we ironed both of them.” Meggy told her rearranging the outfits. “You know what my jacket will go with this. Hang on.”

Meggy laid the outfits on the bed and disappeared out of the room.

“Mum.” Sophie asked in a soft voice.

“Yup?” Ella said slowly.

“Is it… I mean … what …. About… kissing?” Sophie said slowly.

Ella stopped and put the tongs to one side and sat next to her daughter.

“Well if it feels ok then a kiss is ok.” Ella said. “But only if you want to.”

“But what if he expects to and I don’t want to?”

“I imagine that he is going to be as nervous as you and it may be you just hold hands at first.” Ella said slowly. “And no first kiss is ever totally perfect, you might bump noses or turn at the wrong moment so the kiss ends up on your cheek.”

“So no telling me I shouldn’t kiss him.”

“Sophie it’s up to you.” Ella said quietly. “I know I can trust you ok.”

Meggy came rushing into the room carrying her denim jacket. It was short sleeved and pale cream with pick flowers on.

“Also got you this.” She sat to Sophie hooking a bracelet around the top of the hanger.

“Thank you.” Sophie said with a shy smile.

“Now then what did I miss? Was it the Daddy type talk about sitting two seats away from each other at all times and Jacko has to chaperone with his shotgun?” Meggy asked.

Sophie chuckled.

“Jacko?” she asked. “Are you kidding it would be Jacko and Pete.”

Ella smiled at them.

“Now who’s joking? If your Dad were here you wouldn’t even be going out the house until you are 30.” Ella told them.

Sophie laughed before looking in the mirror and checking her reflection. She stood up and gathered the clothes before disappearing into the en suite. She came out after a few minutes dressed in the new clothes and wearing high heels.

Ella nodded.

“Perfect apart from that lipstick.”

Sophie groaned.

“I like it.” she muttered with a pout.

Ella handed her a tissue, which Sophie accepted slowly before wiping her mouth. Ella stood and picked out an alternate lipstick that was a paler pink, putting that on her daughter before handing her the tube. She reached out and finger combed the curls on her head before picking up the hairspray and with one hand shielding her eyes she sprayed Sophie’s hair.

“There you go.” She told her. “Perfect.”

Sophie nodded and walked over to the mirror checking her reflection before she walked out of the bedroom. Meggy followed behind taking the clothes with her leaving Ella alone. She moved over to the curling tongs and unplugged them before walking into the en suite and placing them safely to one side. Heading back into the bedroom she walked over to the laptop and opened it fully seeing the message from Roman.

“Tough.” She typed back. “You aren’t here so she can go on a date.”

“Oh no she can’t.” Roman said before he typed the same words into the laptop. He saw Ella read the screen before she laughed and frowned.

“And what is with the Daddy jokes?” he asked.

Ella smiled before she reached up to close the laptop shutting off the conversation.

Roman groaned before smiling.

“So she was finished with him, was she?” he muttered to himself. He walked over to the kitchen before getting himself a cup of coffee.

Ella walked down the stairs and over to the door where Sophie was standing.

“Mum this is Steve,” Sophie murmured.

“Hello Steve. Sophie are you going to text me when you are ready for me to come get you?” Ella asked.

Sophie nodded.

“The film finishes about 10 o’clock. Mrs Harris.” Steve said politely.

Ella nodded.

“Ok, that is a little late for a school night but I’ll make an exception. I’ll be waiting outside the cinema at 10.” Ella explained slowly. “Here.” She added putting her hand in her pocket and passing some money to Sophie. “You’ll need this for snacks and drinks.”

“It’s ok Mrs Harris I’ve got some money.” Steve said quickly.

Ella smiled at him.

“I’m sure you have but it will only be fair for Sophie to pay some too.” She explained more for Sophie’s benefit.

Sophie nodded.

“Shall we go?” she asked Steve.

He nodded and offered his hand out to Ella.

“I’ll see you later.” Ella said as she shook his hand. She watched them go over to his Mum’s car and saw the boy open the door for Sophie before he went around the other side and got in the back. She watched the car pull away before closing the door and moving into the lounge and seeing Mike sitting there with Lily and Liam.

“First Date.” Mike said whistling through his teeth.

“And what happened to you?” Ella asked him.

“I went to see our friend Frank.” Mike told her grinning as Ella paled and glared at him.

“And is Frank as battered?” Ella asked a note in her voice.

“A little.” Mike admitted. “But we cleared the air and talked about stuff.”

Ella frowned at him.

“I think it won’t be long before Frank comes for a visit.” He added. “Especially as…” he began to add something else before remembering Lily was there and looked down to find his sister watching him.

“That’s right.” Ella said. “Lily has the ears of a bat and the mouth of Colleen.”

“Leen?” Liam asked. “Cake?”

Mike laughed and looked at his brother.

“Sorry mate no cake.”

“You can have a biscuit.” Ella said to them.

Mike stood and moved into the kitchen fetching the cookie jar and bringing it back. He opened it up and looked into it seeing Chocolate covered biscuits.

“Wow.” He muttered.

“Sophies cooked them.” Lily explained.

“IJ can tell.” Mike said handing one to Liam and then one to Lily.

“Did I hear food?” Georgie asked walking into the room.

“Here.” Mike offered.

Georgie’s hand shot out and he took two biscuits. Ella took one too and sat down next to Liam.

“Sammy.” Georgie shouted out up the stairs.

Sammy came out of his room and looked down before heading down the stairs and taking the biscuit from him. They walked into the lounge and looked at Mike.

“Good god did you say the wrong thing to Danni?” Sammy blurted out.

Mike looked at him before he heard Ella laughing.

He smiled over at her as he sat back next to Lily.

“Nope I ran into several doors.” He told his brother.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Well if I can't ban you I'll just have to stop writing this fic.....

Chapter 31

“Morning.” Mike called out with subtle emphasis.

Ella spun around and looked at him.

“Morning.” She said slowly.

”Now are you planning to say something about Frank?” he asked moving to the pot and pouring out a coffee.

Ella glared at him before turning around and checking on Fleur and August playing happily in the lounge. The other children were at school.

“No.” Ella snapped.

“Don’t you think they will be upset when they find out? Aden and Nic especially.” Mike continued in the same tone.

“I imagine that Frank will pretty much have to sort that out himself.” Ella said folding her arms across her middle and glaring at her son.

“I didn’t think you would forgive him just like that.” Mike said with a laugh. He walked over to the table and sat down with his cup in hand indicating that he hadn’t finished the conversation.

Ella looked at her tall handsome son and for a mad moment wished that she hadn’t taught him to have such confidence in himself, she refused to think that maybe Roman had been right and it had been a mistake to teach Mike how to talk.

She walked over to the table and sat at it, looking over at him.

“Go on.” She muttered.

“He mentioned that you’d finished with him?” Mike asked. “That isn’t true is it?”

Ella sighed.

“I want to.” She admitted. “Not only did he lie to me but he took the decision without talking to me.”

“A bit like you did when you took the children to England.” Mike pointed out.

“I know.” Ella said feeling the pang of guilt go through her again because of it. “But I wasn’t out of contact. He could have called us.”

“Really?” Mike asked looking at her in shock.

“Kids didn’t have their phones but I had mine.” She said softly.

“And he didn’t call?” Mike asked frowning.

“Nope.” she murmured. “Anyway.”

Mike smiled.

“Have you done a test?” he asked.

Ella shook her head.

“I can’t be.” She said feeling her cheeks go hot.

“You know this is the last conversation I want to have with my mother but you don’t really have anyone else to talk to.”

Ella lowered her head.

“So did you have…”

“Mike if this is going to be a lecture then…” Ella interrupted.

“You did.” Mike said grinning at her.

“I didn’t exactly go there prepared for hot kinky sex.” Ella groaned deciding to ignore the fact that she had gone there a second time knowing there would be hot kinky sex and still not used Birth Control.

Mike ignored the growing warmth in his cheeks and grinned at her.

“Quit it.” she said hitting his arm.

“Oi!” he murmured.

“Do you think that…” she stopped and looked at him. “We’ll be safe if he does come back.”

Mike shook his head.

“No he was right to do this. I’ve been researching what happened.” Mike told her. “We’ll have to find a way he could come back.”

Ella nodded biting her lip.

“I want him back.” she said. “Not necessarily here because I want to do the best for the kids and I think that would be too hard for them to deal with, but he needs to be there for them.”

Mike nodded sipping at his coffee.

“So what do you think will be Nic’s reaction if you don’t tell her?” Mike said only sorta changing the subject.

“Same as yours.” Ella told him.

He burst out laughing.

“Actually…” he began.

“It was coming a long time Mike don’t have to explain to me.” Ella said softly.

“Wait,” he muttered looking at her.

“You and Roman. Two of a kind. It was ok as long as you were thinking of him as your Dad but as soon as he started treating you as an adult you were bound to fight eventually. You’re Alpha males. Both protective of your lair and family.”

Mike laughed.

“That’s what Jacko said.”

Ella nodded.

“See.” She smiled at him. “I’m glad you know it takes off some of the pressure really don’t know what to tell the others though. If Nic and Aden know their kids will find out and then it will snowball.”

She looked over at August and smiled, her smile turning into a grin as August dropped her toy and started walking towards her.

“Come on then Missy.” She called to her.

August reached her side and held up her hands indicating she wanted to be lifted up. Ella leaned down and scooped her gently into her arms.

“Hey.” Mike called reaching out a hand to his sister.

“Guh guh.” August called out to him.

“This is Mike.” Ella said to her. “Your big brother.”

“Guh.” August murmured.

Mike laughed before looking over at Ella and seeing tears in her eyes.

“You want him home too?” he said to her.

“Want who home?” Gabby asked from the back door. She looked from one to the other before her mouth dropped open and she gasped. “He’s alive?” she asked.

“What?” Ella gasped out.

“Don’t give me that.” Gabby dismissed. “I knew something was going on when you went on that mysterious photography trip.”

Mike looked at Ella and shrugged.

“That’s a help.” she shot back before turning to Gabby. “Please don’t say anything.”

“How can I not say anything this is huge. You know I can’t keep a secret.”

Ella stood up shakily before handing over August to Mike and dashing out of the room and up the stairs.

“Ok what is going on?” she heard Gabby ask Mike before she got into the bathroom..

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 32

Ella walked along the beach, August and Fleur running ahead of her. She stopped every so often and looked out to sea lost in her thoughts. She didn’t hear him approach, too lost in her own thoughts.

“Hey.” He called out trying to get her attention.

Ella spun around and looked at him.

“Angelo.” She cried out.

“I’m flattered that you remember me.” He said with a smile.

She flushed and nodded.

“What are you doing in Summer Bay?” she asked him before groaning. “Sorry that came out so rude.”

He grinned.

“I’m here on official business.” He said looking over at her children. “I’m in the police.”

Ella nodded feeling slightly puzzled.

“Been warned about me have you?” he asked.

Ella nodded again feeling her face go bright red.

“Sorry.” She mumbled.

“And you are Ella Harris, widow of Roman Harris.” He said quietly.

“With a million children.” She warned him seeing the look in his eyes.

“Not quite a million.” He said softly. “And it wouldn’t matter to me if you did.”

Ella blushed bright red feeling her pulse race. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

“I er bumped into Colleen if you were wondering where I got my information.” He told her.

She looked at him before checking on the twins.

“Will you have a coffee with me?” he asked.

Ella felt she should say no but there was somehting so earnest about his expression that she nodded before she could stop herself.

“August, Fleur.” Ella called out.

She smiled as her wonderful twins stopped and looked at her before ignoring her and carried on running along the beach.

“August.” Ella called once more. “We’re going to the diner.”

Fleur stopped and frowned at her wondering why her name hadn’t been called when she felt her mother running up to her and grabbing hold of her.

“Got you wriggly worm.” She said hearing her daughter giggle. “Come on babes lets go have an ice cream.”

August stopped when she heard the word ice cream.

“Hello August are you going to help me find where the ice cream is?” Angelo asked leaning down near to her. “With Mummy.” He said pointing to Ella.

“Mama.” August corrected.

“Is that right?” Angelo asked. “Mama not Mummy?”

August nodded and reached up putting her hand in his and letting him walk along the beach with her.

Ella grinned and began walking next to them.

“I think my daughter is flirting.” She said after a moment.

“I might have to break her heart.” he murmured back. “I’m much more interested in an older woman.”

Ella laughed.

“You are a flirt yourself Angelo Roselli.”

He smiled at her as they walked into the diner together.

“So what would you like?” he asked her.

“A decaff black coffee please.” Ella said slowly.

“And for the two princesses?” he asked sounding gallant.

“They would like vanilla ice cream scoop.” She murmured looking at Fleur as she laughed and nodded.

Angelo grinned at them all before walking up to the counter. He spoke quietly to Leah before placing his order, glancing back at Ella.

“No worries. Take a seat and I’ll bring them over.” Leah said glancing at Ella.

Ella smiled at her before taking Fleur over to they favourite seat easing into it. She sat Fleur next to her before holding her hands out to August grinning as her daughter looked up at Angelo before she moved over to her mother and sat down.

“So what were you thinking about when I saw you on the beach?” Angelo asked once they were sitting. “You looked kind of lonely.”

Ella sighed.

“Just thinking about their Dad.” She said honestly.

“How did you and Roman meet?” he asked.

“Seriously? You’ve asked me out for a coffee and want to talk about my husband.” She scoffed.

“He was a big part of your life.” Angelo said.

“That is true.” She acknowledged.

“So go on then.” Angelo said with a laugh. “Tell me about him.”

“We met whilst I was in Afghanistan.” Ella began smiling as she thought about Roman. “Then years later I tracked him down to Summer Bay and a month later we married.”

“Really?” Angelo said. “Just that when I knew the man he was a bit of a ….” He stopped feeling his face suffuse with heat as he flushed.

“Womaniser?” Ella finished for him with a wry smile.

Angelo nodded unhappily feeling like he’d put his foot in it before he saw that Ella was smiling.

“He was. We used to have this joke that I could write my flings on a post it note but he would use a phone book.”

Angelo laughed.

“Well it is different for men.”

“Thank what he said.” Ella murmured grinning happily.

She looked up to see Leah coming over with their order and grinned at her.

“Here you go.” Leah said handing over the drinks before placing the bowls of ice cream in front of the twins.

“Thanks Leah.” Ella said softly.

Leah smiled and nodded, looking slight serious.

“No worries.” She said before shooting another look in Ella’s direction before she moved away.

“So where were we?” Angelo asked.

“You were about to talk about you.” Ella said to him.

“Well single, been working for the water police for the past few years near Sydney before they transferred me here. I’ve managed to avoid emotional attachments so far.”

“Family?” Ella asked.

“Brothers. Don’t see much of them.” he admitted.

Ella nodded before turning to her daughters.

“Here you go.” She told them picking up a spoon and feeding them.

“What about you?” he asked. “Family?”

“I have as half brother, Nate.” She said slowly before looking at him. “My other Brother Michael was part of Roman’s unit. He was killed.”

“I’m sorry.” Angelo said immediately.

“Don’t be, it was a long time ago now. I’m quite lucky because I went from having very little family to having a large family.” She grinned suddenly. “Although it would be nice to have five minutes to myself every so often.”

Angelo laughed.

“Now why don’t I believe that.” He said glancing at the twins. They had finished their ice cream and were happily quiet. He looked at Ella before he spoke next. “Did Leah put something in their ice cream?”

Ella giggled.

“No it’s time for the afternoon nap and a walk on the beach always tires them out.” she explained.

“Sounds like a cue to let you leave.”

“Probably.” She admitted as she took a last drink of her coffee. She reached into her bag and took out a packet of wipes and used them to clean up the babies hands and faces. “Ready for naps?” she asked them.

August nodded and held her hands up asking to be carried.

“No sweetie you need to walk to the car.” Ella said softly.

Her daughter pouted.

“Here.” Angelo said softly pushing a piece of paper across the table.

“What’s this?” Ella asked flushing when she realised that he was giving her his number. “Oh.”

“I’d like to see you again.” He explained.

Ella nodded and before she had a chance to have second thoughts she took a pen out of her bag and pulled his hand towards her writing her number on it. Gathering her things together she stood up and led the two girls out of the diner and over to her car. She seated them inside, making sure that they were fastened in correctly before getting in herself and heading home.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 33

Nic stormed into the house looking round impatiently. She saw Irene sitting out the back through the double French doors and moved out there.

“Where is Ella?” she asked without her customary greeting.

“I’m here.” Ella said from the shed. She walked over to Nic with a puzzled frown on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Nic parroted. “You had a date with Angelo.”

“No I had a coffee with Angelo. We haven’t been on a date yet.”

“Yet?” Nic squawked.

Ella nodded catching Irene’s grin out the corner of her eye.

“You are planning to go on a date with that lowlife?” Nic gasped out looking like she was about to have a heart attack.

“Maybe.” Ella nodded. “But well what business is it of yours Nic? Surely I’m an adult and I can make my own choices?”

“It’s my business because he’s scum. Did you know he dated Belle? And you know about Jack?” she muttered putting her hands on her hips.

“Nicole, please listen, just because I’m your father’s widow does not mean that I’m planning to spend the rest of my life alone. And everybody deserves second chances.” Ella murmured softly.

Nic shook her head.

“If you go out with him you can forget me being your daughter.” she said angrily.

“So be it.” Ella said with finality.

“Ella.” Nic gasped.

“You handed out the ultimatum Nic.” Ella said softly. “It’s not what I want but I’ll go along with it.”

“I hate you.” Nic said stamping her foot.

She looked down as though realising what she had done before she burst out laughing.

“Oh Ella.” She said softly. “I knew you’d date again but I wish it was someone else.”

“Nic there is a bunch of reason why this is never going to be a relationship but I like Angelo, he makes me laugh. It’s been a long time since I felt like laughing, even before your father dying.”

Nic nodded before sinking into a seat and looking at her.

“Ok I guess I can deal with that.” Nic said after a long silence.

“What is going on Nic?” Ella asked after a moment.

“I miss him. I keep expecting him to be there.” she told Ella and feeling Irene looking at her too.

She looked around the garden seeing the bright colourful flowers and beyond to the orchard, next to that the pool and the pool house then Gabby’s house and just before that the play area for the children. Her eyes moved around and then she caught sight of her Dad’s herb garden. It sparked off fresh tears.

“Nic please don’t cry.” Ella said coming over to her and holding her. She looked up to see Mike across the garden about to dive into the pool and grimaced.

He must have sensed her looking at him because he stopped and grabbed his towel wrapping it sarong style around his hips before walking up the garden.

“Mum.” He called out.

“I know.” She muttered.

“Nic if we were to tell you something important could you keep it from Geoff and Aden?” Mike asked.

“Durh.” Nic said looking at him.

“Mike no.” Ella gasped.

“Yes Mum. This is destroying us in different ways.” He said softly. “Loss, loneliness, guilt.”

Ella sighed before she slowly nodded.

“Nic you have to promise ok?” Ella said after a moment.

“Promise what?” Nic asked.

“Yeah, what exactly?” Irene asked.

“Both of you come into the study.” Ella said standing up. She felt a wave of nausea go through her and bit back a groan. Without looking to see if they were following she moved through the house and into the study, sitting at the long white desk and opening up the laptop. She clicked up the instant messenger and called the other computer.

“What’s going on?” Nic asked from the doorway.

“Wait a minute.” Ella told her looking at Mike standing behind her stepdaughter. She clicked the icon again frowning. Another minute went by before the screen changed and he came online. His hair was wet like he’d come out of the shower or had been swimming.

“What’s up?” he typed.

“Nice welcome.” She put.

“Well.” He stood and adjusted his towel before sitting again.

“I need you to …” she stopped typing and looked up over to Nic and beckoned her to her.

Nic looked at Mike before she started walking to where Ella was and looking over her shoulder.

“Dad?” she cried out puzzled.

“Nic.” He said looking down at the keyboard. He felt his heart race and a strange sense of betrayal.

“I’ve put the mike on.” Ella said and he heard her voice come through the speakers of the laptop.

Roman looked down and clicked on a microphone symbol before he spoke again.

“Nic.” He said clearly.

“Oh my word!” Irene gasped paling.

Mike eased her into the room and over to the sofa making sure she was ok.

“How many others are you telling Ella?” Roman asked a bitter note in his voice.

“Everybody.” She snapped back. “Everyone who comes here a year after your death and is so sad that they still cry about it.”

Roman flinched before looking at Nic’s puzzled face.

“I’m in witness protection.” He began to explain.

“Wait, how long have you known about this Ella?” Nic asked ignoring her father. There were so many things that she thought about saying to him in the last year and had grieved because of it but now he was here it was like the last year had been a joke played on them, a really cruel sick joke.

“Just a few months.” She said slowly.

“And you didn’t tell me straight away?” Nic gasped shaking her head.

“Nic.” Roman called out.

“No, don’t you talk to me.” Nic said to him. “You’re dead remember and that is how you are going to stay. Witness protection?” she scoffed. “So someone out there is worse than what we’ve been through over the years? Gardy, Elliot, William?”

“Nic.” Ella said softly.

Nic turned to her and two fat tears fell from her eyes, she lifted up her hand and wiped them away before turning back to the screen.

“I want nothing to do with you anymore as far as I am concerned you are nothing.” Nic bit out.

Ella stood and moved over to Nic taking her away out of the room.

“I know.” She told Nic. “You aren’t saying anything that I haven’t said to him.”

“Oh I haven’t even started yet.” Nic promised anger emanating from every pore.

“You think I didn’t curse him?” Ella said.

“Are you telling me that you’ve forgiven him?” Nic asked.

“Not totally.” Ella muttered folding her arms as caught Mike grinning at her.

Nci watched the exchange between them before she looked closer at Mike.

“Why do you have a black eye?” she muttered.

“Oh Roman and I had a talk.” Mike said to her.

Nic grinned.

“You weren’t happy either?” she guessed.

“I wasn’t happy for about twenty minutes.” Mike said holding up his hand and looking at his bruised knuckles.

Nic sighed and walked over to the computer looking into the screen. She took in his long dark hair and the dark beard that shadowed his face and groaned.

“You look like an idiot.” She told him.

Roman sighed before touching a hand to the beard.

“Nic, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for any of you.” He began.

“Except be here.” She interrupted him seeing a sad look go over his face. She noticed the slight bruising on Roman’s face then and glanced at Mike seeing him grin.

“If I’m there then…” Roman stopped and looked up before he continued. “It would be bad Nic, worse than any one of those people who have some after us before.” He said slowly. “I love you Nicole and I couldn’t stay there and let you be hurt. Any of you.”

Nic sighed and looked at him.

“So what do we do to fix this?” she asked him.

Roman groaned and rubbed hand on his face stroking his beard.

“Oh and you should know Ella’s started dating.” Nic said to him.

“Nic.” Ella gasped out.

“What?” Roman asked at the same time.

“Yes.” Nic told him ignoring the look that Ella shot her. She made a move towards Nic stopping when she felt Mike’s hand on her arm and she frowned at him.

“She’s been out twice this week. It’s all over Summer Bay.” Nic looked up and saw Mike grinning before she continued. “Mike caught them kissing on the sofa the other night. He said that if he hadn’t come in he didn’t know what would have happened.”

Mike laughed before looking at Ella and seeing her blushing. She pulled away and walked over to the laptop to tell Roman the truth.

“He’s gone.” Nic told her smiling with a strange satisfaction.

“I can’t believe that you did that.” Ella ground out glaring at the pair of them.

“Did what?” Nic asked innocently. “We only told him what he’s missing.”

“You just …” Ella began. “That’s…” she muttered before turning and striding out of the study.

Mike walked over to the pc and turned it off before looking at Irene.

“Ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, does George know?” she asked.

“No.” Mike said quickly.

“You sure?” she murmured.

“Positive.” Mike told her gently.

“I would have hated for him to have known and let us suffer.” Irene shook her head a note of anger still in her voice.

“Mike.” Nic called.

“It’s to do with something that happened a long time ago.” He said.

Nic shook her head her long blonde hair swirling around her petite shoulders.

“Still.”

“It must have been a shock for Ella.”

“Why didn’t she know he was still alive?” Nic asked stepping around the desk and moving over to them. “He knew she wasn’t dead.”

“I did.” Ella said walking back into the room.

“That’s true Darl she still talked about him in the present tense up until recently.” Irene said to them glancing at Ella. “And she had dreams.”

Ella blushed remembering some of those dreams before looking at Nic.

“I think I did know but I had to make sure the kids were ok so I never examined those feelings.” She said quietly.

“We should tell the others. This isn’t fair.”

“They will want him to come home.” Ella pointed out. “And the threat to us is still out there.”

Nic paled.

“Still?” she asked.

Ella nodded.

“Dad is looking into it with Pete and Jacko.” Mike said quietly. “But that doesn’t mean that he can come home.”

Nic nodded before moving to sit with Irene.

“We can’t tell anyone can we?” she asked.

“Aden and Geoff probably. Danni.” Ella said “but the more people we tell the more chance there is of someone slipping up and the others finding out. I’d hate for the children to find out by overhearing something.”

Mike groaned.

“Sorry” he muttered. “I didn’t think of that.”

Ella looked at him as if to say ‘yeah you didn’t think.’

“Still he’s alive. And probably on his way back now.” Nic said.

“He…” Ella began.

“You dating some other man? He’s probably already set off .”

“Nicole you are incorrigible.” Ella groaned before she turned and stormed out of the room. They heard the bedroom door slam after a minute and turning to each other they chuckled.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 34

Roman looked at the laptop and only the knowledge that he still needed it prevented him from throwing it across the room. Ella dating. Ella kissing another man. His Ella. His wife. How could she do that to him knowing that he was still alive? He stood and dropped the towel around his hips and moved outside over to the surf splashing through it until it was to his knees. Diving he began to swim, his hands slicing through the water. He felt the familiar pull in his shoulder from where he’d been shot.

He swam fast in a front crawl, power in every stroke needing to exhaust himself. Needing more than anything to get the image of Ella in bed with another man out of his head. He thought of her then, naked in some other mans arms enjoying being touched by some other man.

Exhausted he turned around and began to swim back in fighting the current now he could feel the pull dragging him back out to the deep water and he grimaced before finally getting to the beach where he collapsed breathing heavily. He sucked in the hot air into his heaving lungs before forcing himself up and over to his shack. Picking up the discarded towel he roughly dried himself before beginning sit-ups. He reached fifty feeling the pull on his muscles before lying back and sucking in a breath. Turning he began push-ups. He winced as he felt his shoulder twinge.

Collapsing exhausted he was no were near getting the image of Ella and some other man out of his head.

Ella sat around the table with the children smiling as they chattered about their day and what they had been up to. She felt sadness go through her that once again Roman was missing out and looked up to see Irene’s eyes on her. She smiled at the other woman before easing up and moving into the kitchen and over to the fridge.

“You ok Mum?” Sophie asked watching.

“Yeah.” Ella responded.

“Can I invite Steve over for a swim on Saturday?” she asked.

“You want him to meet this family?” she asked. “Are you mad?”

Sophie chuckled.

“He’s met most of them.” she murmured.

“We could have a BBQ.” Meggy suggested with a grin.

“Might be a bit much for Steve to put up with.” Ella said. “Sophie why don’t you ask him see what he says.”

Sophie grinned and pulled out her phone from her pocket. She typed out a message and sent it.

“Done.” She said.

Ella smiled and finished pouring out a glass of milk for herself before sitting once more at the table.

“You ok with your Friend seeing Sophie?” she asked Georgie.

He shrugged.

“Its fine.” He said before looking at his plate.

Ella gave a small nod, making a note to speak to him later. She looked over at August and Fleur grinning as they tackled carrots and peas. She’d also given them broccoli and seen Fleur spooning hers on to August’s plate.

“It’s going to be Christmas soon. Anybody given a thought to how we are going to spend it this year?” Ella asked them.

“I’d like to go away.” Meggy said. “Maybe to the studio.”

Ella nodded looking round the table.

“Sammy?”

“I haven’t thought about it.” he said biting his lip.

“It’s ok Samson.” Ella told him. “There is plenty of time.”

He nodded.

“When is Danni coming back?”

“I don’t know.” Ella answered Sophie’s question.

“Are we going to buy her baby stuff?” Meggy said grinning at her sister.

“What do you think?” Ella murmured.

“I’m betting it’s a boy.” Sophie declared. “I hope Michelle comes for a visit again.”

“Liked her did you Darl?” Irene asked.

Sophie nodded.

“I think Brett liked her too.” She said.

“Gossip.” Ella said softly.

Sophie giggled.

“Well he went all gooey.” She explained.

“If you’ve finished your dinner you can take your plates into the kitchen. You can watch a film upstairs for a while if you like.” Ella told them standing up once more. She lifted August and Fleur down before nodding at Lily and Liam, leading them out of the room and upstairs. She played with them for a while before getting them bathed and changed into night-clothes. After that it was the normal battle of getting them into bed. Lily had a full range of delaying tactics, from demanding extra stories and cuddles to drinks and talking about her day.

“Yeah, yeah, Missy Lily.” Ella called softly. “Close those eyes and get some sleep or you’ll be too tired to play tomorrow.” She said to her before easing out of the room and making her way downstairs.

“Hey.” She called to Irene.

“Sorry I was miles away.” Irene said softly.

“Time for you to hit the sack and get some rest.” Ella said to her sitting on the sofa herself.

“I was thinking about opening up my place and moving over there again.”

Ella nodded.

“You thinking that maybe Frank will be home soon aren’t you?” Ella asked slowly.

“Now that Frank knows you are dating I’m surprised he didn’t turn up tonight.”

Ella blushed.

“I still can’t believe that Nic did that.” She said with a groan.

“I can.” Irene giggled suddenly. “It’ll probably make him think about last year and what Martha put you through.”

“Ha.” Ella scoffed.

She frowned before looking over at Irene.

“I wish we could get Marcus back. If Martha signed the bloody forms we could give him a home instead of temporary foster care.” Ella muttered thinking of the other woman. “I might go and see her in jail.”

“Darl, it’s not worth it.” Irene said. “That woman will just try and twist things so it’s someone else’s fault. I have no idea what made her that way.”

“I know.” Ella said quietly. “From the moment I first met her she seemed to have something against me even though she and Roman weren’t together, in fact hadn’t been together for years.”

“She didn’t want him but she didn’t want anyone else to have him.” Irene surmised.

Ella looked at her and nodded.

“So when you went on those photography trips.”

Ella shook her head.

“I went to see Frank.” Ella admitted.

“Thought there was someone, you seemed to be happier in some way. You tried to hide it but it was there.” Irene said slowly. “Now you want to tell me why I’ve heard you in the mornings?”

Ella flushed.

“A stomach bug.” She said quickly.

“That only happens in the morning. Strewth love with all of your kids you’d think you’d know the signs.”

Ella groaned and looked at her.

“Fine.” She muttered. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Now then what are you going to do about it?”

Ella looked at Irene and found herself paling.

“Yeah that’s right. You know that you can’t have another one.” Irene said. “You can’t push your body like that and expect it not to give out on you. How much time do you actually get to yourself per day now? You think that another baby will …..”

Ella held up her hand.

“I’m not ready for this discussion.” She told Irene. “I know all this. It’s all very logical.”

“I’d believe that you were willing to consider your options if I didn’t see you sitting there with you hand over your stomach looking as though you want to hit me.”

Ella stood and moved over to Irene placing a kiss on her cheek.

“How well you know me Step-mama. “ she said softly. “Thank you for your concern. Now accept some of mine and get yourself to bed.”

Irene nodded and stood going up the stairs leaving Ella behind. It was a minute before Ella walked into the study and switched on the laptop. She saw that he was online and opened up the instant messenger.

“How could you Ella?” he typed.

She frowned before typing a reply.

“I’m a widow I’m allowed to date.”

“I meant not tell me.” He put hitting the send key.

“Why should I tell you?” she put back.

“Because.” He put and imagined her frowning at him.

Ella glared at the screen.

“Ella you were with me just a couple of weeks ago. Me. In my bed. If you were moving on how could you?” he typed angrily hitting the return key.

Ella read the message before she switched the computer off. She stormed out of the study and stopped near the stairs. Turning around she collected the laptop and carried it up the stairs turning off the lights before heading to bed. The shower called her and she settled under the hot water fuming.

She was still angry when she was settled in bed and turned the laptop one once more. She saw that he was still online and tried not to smile.

“Don’t go.” He put. “I need to…” he stopped wondering what he needed.

“I’m allowed to date.” Ella typed once more. “Because I’m a widow. But no I didn’t leave you the other week for some other man. I left because I know we couldn’t be together. You were happy to hide me away not realising how that would affect me.”

Roman swore as he read what she’d put.

“I was scared that we would be seen together and they would come after you.” He admitted.

“Well it’s too late now isn’t it.” Ella muttered before typing the same words. “I’m going, Night.”

“El.” He put quickly.

“No.” she replied. “Tired, up with kids in morning.”

“Night.” He put and watched as she went offline.

He switched the laptop off and moved into the bedroom thinking about the disjointed conversation. He wished that she had put the camera on so he could have seen her before he climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 35

Ella looked at the address and slowed the car before looking round for a parking place. She finally spotted one and eased the car into it. She turned off the engine and took a deep breath before undoing the seat belt and getting out of the car. Walking around the front she stepped up on the pavement and walked over to the door of the free clinic and going inside. She didn’t notice Angelo standing the other side of the street watching her.

“Hello.” Ella murmured to the woman behind the receptionist desk. “I have an appointment, Elizabeth Harris.” She added feeling strange at referring to herself as Elizabeth. She hadn’t used her full name for years.

“Certainly miss. Please fill in this form and we will call you through in a moment.” The receptionist muttered distractedly before handing over a clipboard.

Ella looked at it before taking the clipboard and the pen and moving over to sit on the orange plastic chair. She began reading the questions giving the barest information to answer them skimming down the list. She glanced up when she’d finished and tried to catch the receptionists attention frowning when she felt as though she was deliberately being ignored.

“Elizabeth Harris.” She heard her name called and looked up to see a woman in a white lab coat standing just inside an open office door.

Standing Ella walked over to her and gave the woman a small nervous smile. She knew it wasn’t too late she could have changed her mind and gone to the hospital to be checked out but the thought of answering all those questions put her off. Who would she say was the father for one.

“Come on through.” The doctor said softly noticing the worried look Ella had on her face. “Is that your history?”

Ella nodded and handed over the clipboard.

“Ok if you could hop on to the examination table I’ll just read through your answers here. Now your last period was 8 weeks ago meaning that you are three to four weeks overdue."

“That’s right.” Ella murmured feeling her face grow hot.

“You have reason to believe that you might be pregnant?” she asked.

Ella nodded once more.

“Ok I’ll take some blood for testing.” The doctor murmured squirting cleaning agent on her hands. She pulled on gloves next before getting a syringe kit out. She opened the packet and moved over to Ella’s side cleaning a small circle of skin before finding a vein and putting the needle in. The small vial filled up quickly and she disengaged it putting the next one in and filling that before grabbing a pad of cotton wool and putting that in place before withdrawing the needle. “There done.” She announced. “Can you keep hold of that for a moment.”

Ella nodded and pressed the pad against her skin. She watched as the doctor labelled up the two vials and placed them into a bag and labelled that before picking out a plaster and peeling off the backing and pressing that in place of the cotton wool pad. She threw the rubbish away, discarding the used syringe in the yellow biohazard sharps bin.

“Results will be back in 24 hours.” The doctor told her. “I’ll give you a reference number to use when you ring in.”

Ella nodded and accepted the slip of paper the doctor wrote out. She was also handed some leaflets on healthy eating and prenatal care. Ella looked at them with a frown on her face feeling a strange sense of déjà vu about it. She murmured her thanks before easing off the examination bed and moving out of the office. She glanced at the receptionist on the way past before heading out to her car and getting behind the wheel. She reached in the back for a long sleeved blouse she had brought with her and pulled that on over her vest top. The sleeves would cover up the plaster on her arm and the slight bruising she always got from blood tests because the last thing she wanted was difficult questions from the children.

She drove over to the highschool and parked up before getting out and waiting outside the gates. It wouldn’t be long before she was doing this for four of her kids, did she really want to add another baby to the kids, it would be a year of nappies just as she was getting Fleur and August out of them. They would be going to nursery too leaving her more time to do stuff and Irene could get back her life too without being a part time nanny to her children.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t’ notice Miles walking up to her.

“Hey there.” he called out.

“Miles.” Ella gasped startled lifting a hand to her throat. “You gave me a fright.”

“Sorry.” He murmured. “How have you been?” he asked after a moment.

“Fine.” Ella answered. “You?”

Miles gave a nod.

“Ok. Lee and I have split up.”

“Miles, god no.” Ella said giving him her full attention. “Why?” She asked unable to stop the single word question.

“I got a bit depressed and Lee needed more than I could give her.”

“She hasn’t mentioned a word to me.” Ella groaned.

Miles nodded.

“I’m not surprised. She’s living in a caravan at the moment.”

“Sounds like you’ll be able to get back together if she’s stayed close.” Ella said placing her hand on his arm.

“I don’t think so.” Miles said sadly. “It all just fell apart when he died, y’know.”

Ella grimaced and looked away.

“If Roman knew he would want you to be your sweet wonderful self and do what you could to get Lee back and be happy.” Ella told him.

Miles sighed.

“I don’t know Ella. Feels like it’s all changed.”

“Yeah it does.” Ella told him. “But sometimes even though we don’t realise it change can be a good thing. Roman and I got back together when I thought we were finished for good.”

Miles sighed.

“Anyway to the reason I’m out here. Georgie has been in a fight.”

“No.” Ella muttered.

“He and a fellow classmate were in discussion about a girl called Buffy and it seemed to move on from there. He now has Saturday detention.” Miles told her handing over a slip of paper.

Ella accepted the paper and glanced at it.

“Thanks. I meant to speak to him last night but I was so tired.” She murmured and her thoughts immediately went back to the possible pregnancy.

Miles nodded.

“Look why don’t we meet for a drink and proper chat?” Ella suggested quietly. “It’s been a while.”

Miles sighed thinking of how long it had been and why.

“That would be good.” He decided after a moment.

“I’ll text you later.” She said looking up as her two walked out together. She gave them a smile and noticed a sullen Georgie and chatty Sophie. Steve was walking out with them and she saw him place a quick kiss to Sophie’s cheek before he wandered off.

“Later.” Miles said giving her a grin before he moved back inside the school gates.

“In the car.” Ella said.

“Where are Meggy and Sammy?” Sophie asked opening the back door and climbing inside. She turned and looked at her mother as she sat down

Ella rolled her eyes and comically lifted her hand to her forehead.

“I knew I forgot something.” She said.

Sophie groaned.

“I take it that Irene is picking them up?” she asked.

“Nope Mike is.” Ella said and saw Georgie look at her. “He wanted to spend some time with Sammy.” she added in explanation.

“Huh.” Georgie muttered.

“Perhaps Mike could take you surfing on Saturday?” Ella suggested seeing the comical changes of expression on her son’s face.

“Very funny.” Georgie muttered slamming the car door after himself.

Ella smiled before getting in the car herself. She started the engine and set off home driving the twenty minute journey her mind focused on a collection of things before pulling up outside the house and turning off the engine. She looked at the two kids sitting in the back and smiled before getting out of the car.

Sophie got out first and gave her mother a look before she went inside. Ella put her hand out to Georgie and climbed in the back of the car with him.

“I’m sure that Buffy is very nice and I know you’ve liked her for a long time but it’s not worth getting into fights for her is it?” Ella said slowly. “Because you know I’m going to punish you along with getting detention.”

Georgie sighed.

“You wouldn’t understand. Dad would.”

Ella felt herself flinch but she looked at her son and nodded.

“He might understand but he wouldn’t like you fighting anymore than I do.” Ella said soflty. “I’m really sorry that I haven’t spent more time with you lately so on Saturday when I pick you up after detention I’ll put out surfboards in and we’ll hit the beach.”

Georgie lifted his eyes and looked at her.

“Really?” he asked.

Ella nodded.

“And when you want to talk about Buffy or anything I’m here ok and I’ll make time to listen. If it’s something you wand to speak to a man about there is Miles or Jacko or Mike.” she told him.

Georgie looked at her.

“Did you have the talk with Mike when he was younger?” he asked.

“By talk you mean about sex and stuff?” Ella asked and saw him nod. “Yes.” She confirmed.

“So you know…” Georgie dropped his voice to a whisper. “About those dreams, you know.”

“Yes and it’s all part of growing up and natural.” She said slowly.

“It’s just that I’ve dreamt of Buffy and now when I go to talk to her I go red.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any answers here.” Ella said quietly. “Maybe you’ll have to put something in Buffy’s place so that you dream about that instead.”

Georgie nodded.

Ella leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Let’s go get some dinner.” She murmured. “And maybe you can grab Mike and have a chat.”

Georgie nodded.

Ella led him out of the car and over to the house. She stood on the front veranda for a moment longer before heading into the house.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 36

Ella eased out of Lily and Liam’s room slowly trying not to breath in case she disturbed the two rascals and closed the door gently behind her. She moved over to the stairs and headed into the attic.

“Hey Mum.” Sophie called out from the sofa.

“Hey. Babies are in bed so I thought I’d come and spend some time with you.” She told them. Sammy and Meggy were sitting at the desk in front of the laptop playing some kind of game.

“Georgie is in his room.” Sophie said putting her magazine to one side. “I don’t think he’s too happy.”

“I hope you are being sensitive Sophie Harris.” Ella murmured quietly.

Sophie nodded.

“I know it’s part of growing up. I asked him if it was ok for me to date Steve considering they are mates and he said it was.” Sophie murmured. “Its not that is it Mum?”

“I don’t think so babes. Why don’t you find a film to put on and I’ll go have a word with him.” Ella said.

Sophie nodded and stood up going over to the unit that held the tv and dvd player. She pulled open a drawer and began looking at the DVD’s in there as Ella approached her son’s bedroom. She knocked on the door waiting until he called come in before opening it.

“Hey.” She murmured looking at him.

“Oh it’s you.” Georgie muttered sounding relieved.

“Nice welcome son.” Ella said with a grin.

She walked into his bedroom looking around the pale green walls before moving to his bed. She climbed up the ladder and sat at the end of it.

“So what were you doing?” she asked.

Georgie flushed before pulling out his sketchbook and handing it to her.

“I hate that you know everything.” Georgie muttered.

“Uh huh, can I look in this?” she asked softly.

He nodded.

“I’m not that good yet. There are things that just, well just don’t seem to come out right.” He murmured.

Ella nodded and opened up the A4 pad turning over the pages. She saw pictures that he’d drawn of the cats, of Lily and the beach. Flowers too and fruit.

“These are pretty good.” She told him. “You’ve inherited your Dad’s drawing skills.”

“Really?” he asked brightening up.

Ella nodded once more before smiling at him.

“I think you are very good. Have you thought about taking photographs?”

Georgie frowned.

“I don’t know.” He said looking at the landscape he’d drawn one morning when he’d had a free period and had going down to the beach.

“Well you have a very good eye for detail. Here look, you’ve captured the light on the sea and the way it bubbles up on to the sand. This is the sort of detail that you try to get with a camera.” Ella looked up at him and grinned before handing him back his book.

“I’ll have to make a note of buying you some art materials.” She told him.

“You don’t have to.” He said quickly.

“I know I don’t. But I would like to.” She said to him. “I’ve been trying to think of ways to solve your Buffy problem.”

Georgie looked at her and blushed.

“And I can’t.” Ella admitted. “I can only tell you that it does get easier. I went to an all girls boarding school and we didn’t mix with boys so I was very shy and despite doing gymnastics and running I felt very clumsy when I was around them.”

“You did?” Georgie asked.

Ella nodded.

“But you are so amazing.” He stuttered.

Ella chuckled.

“Thank you for that son. But I got this way because I realised that no matter how many times I made an idiot of myself it wasn’t going to kill me and that if I leaned to laugh about it then it didn’t seem so bad. I even made a complete idiot of myself with your Dad when I first met him.”

“Oh you have to tell me that story.” He said sounding happier.

Ella blushed.

“No.” she protested weakly.

“Please.” He begged.

“Ok, Your Uncle Mike didn’t tell me who his commanding officer was.” Ella began.

“Dad?”

She nodded.

“Well your Dad and I had already met and we were dating, anyway I went along to the bar to meet up with Mike because his Lieutenant was back and he wanted to introduce us, only he never told me his name. I turn up and go sit with them to find out that your Dad was his LT. I was so shocked I grabbed the first drink I could and downed it.” she told him.

Georgie grinned.

“And Dad?” he asked.

Ella laughed.

“He was all ‘you could have told me who you were’ and ‘what joke is this?’ and I just looked at him still reeling. Then we’re sitting at the table, Jacko, Pete, your Uncle and your Dad and he reached across and puts his hand on my knee. I didn’t know whether to cry out or laugh or just burst into tears.”

“Did Uncle Mike guess? And did you carry on dating after that?” Georgie asked.

Ella shook her head.

“He did guess but not until later and we dated. Which you know about because here you are.”

Georgie laughed.

“So are you going to come out and watch a film with us?” Ella asked.

Georgie nodded and looked at her.

“Thanks Mum.” He said quietly.

“Nothing to thank me for.” She said back. “Sophie chose the film so god knows what we are going to watch.”

He grinned.

“Its ok I’ve got her trained. No slushy stuff.”

Ella nodded as she climbed down from his bunk bed.

“Have I told you about a film called the notebook?” she asked him. “Its set during the second world war.”

Georgie looked at her.

“Nice try but I’m not going to fall for that.” He said. “There is something dodgy if you are recommending a war film.”

Ella laughed and opened the bedroom door

“I’ve chosen.” Sophie called out.

“We’re coming.” Ella said going over to the sofa and sitting down. She grinned as Meggy sat next to her straight away. Sammy sat the other side of her and Georgie grinned and sat next to his brother leaving the space next to Meggy free. They had to squeeze up on the sofa to fit and after a minute Ella Lifted Sammy on to her lap giving them more room. She grinned happily as Georgie reached for a throw and put that around them.

Sophie smiled and clicked the remote starting the film.

“X men cool.” Sammy murmured.

Meggy rolled her eyes.

“You could have chosen anything.” She muttered.

“Films starting.” Sammy told her.

“Shush you mean.” Meggy said quickly getting the last word in.

Ella looked round her wonderful children and made the decision knowing that it would haunt her for the rest of her life but she would do nothing to bring further heartache to them and risking another pregnancy with it possible consequences would do just that.

“Mum?” Sophie asked quickly.

“What?” Ella murmured.

“You’re crying.”

“Just happy to spend time with you.” She told them and lifted a hand to wipe her face. She gave Sophie a smile before looking at the screen and following the plot of the movie.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 37

Ella hung up the phone and moved out of the study and into the kitchen. She saw Irene and Mike standing together. They were both silent meaning she’d obviously interrupted their conversation.

“Mum.” Mike began.

“It’s sorted. I’ll leave tonight and head to the clinic tomorrow.” Ella announced. “It will just take a couple of hours apparently but I’ll stay at the studio overnight before coming home.”

“Darl.” Irene began.

“Please I’ve made my mind up. It’s hard enough without having to discuss it again.” Ella said holding up her hand imploringly.

“Mum.” Mike said again. “You haven’t even seen Rachel. It could be that the condition you had with the twins is no longer a problem.”

“Mike.” Ella muttered. “I can’t bring another baby into the house. The others will be ready for school and this one still in nappies. What if it’s twins again? And how will Roman react?”

“Well if you are sure.” Irene said quietly looking over at Ella’s face. “Why don’t you let me come with you?”

“I need you to look after the children.” Ella murmured.

“How about Danni?” Mike suggested and then cursed as he saw his mother recoil at the suggestion, her face paling.

“I don’t think that would be such a good idea for either of us.” Ella said slowly.

Mike nodded before filling up his cup and taking a drink of the bitter black coffee. He turned back around and looked at his mother.

“I’m concerned that you are making this decision for the wrong reasons. You fought us all to have the twins. There is still time if you just take a few more days to think it through and make sure you want this.” He said to her an unhappy look on his face.

“Mike I’m sure, ok. I made this choice before I got the results of the pregnancy test.” Ella said. “Now I’m going upstairs to pack.”

She moved out of the room and headed up the stairs.

“She’s making a mistake.” Irene said. “She fought so hard to have some of those babies.”

Mike looked at his step-grandmother and went over to her putting his arm around her.

“I know.” He said quietly. “But I don’t think anything we say is going to make a difference.”

“So what can we do?” Irene asked turning her tearful gaze towards the stairs.

“In this case nothing.” Mike murmured. “Just be there for her afterwards. She’ll need us.”

Ella waited until she got Lily and Liam into bed before she collected her bag and set off to the studio. She could still see doubt on Mike’s face when he looked at her but she had seriously weighed up the pro and cons of bringing another baby into the family. She was a single parent struggling to make time with all the children and being pregnant, let alone have another baby would be too much to cope with. She drove to the studio pulling up in the garage and parking the car. Climbing the stairs she headed inside feeling tired and cranky.

“Hey.” Danni called out. “Not stopping but Mike asked me to check up on you and bring food.”

“Hello.” Ella said tiredly.

“Wow, he was right you do look awful.”

“I thought only Gabby blurted out stupid things.” Ella said her tone quiet.

She moved over to the sofa and sat down, grinning as Danni took a full minute to lever herself up off the other one.

“I have soda or decaff or…” she stopped and looked at Ella.

“It won’t work.” She said.

“Soda then.” Danni muttered with a grin moving back to sit with Ella. She handed her a bottle before sitting once more with her own bottle of drink.

“So what has Mike told you?” Ella said.

“All about Frank.” Danni grinned. “Not that there would be any other reason for your present state.”

Ella looked at her.

“When are you moving back home?” she asked changing the subject.

“In a couple of weeks. I’m paid up till then in the house share and that’s when my notice ends at the travel agents. They are thanking their lucky stars they don’t have to pay me maternity leave.”

“I can imagine.” Ella said.

She opened up the small bottle and took a drink feeling the refreshing liquid fizz on her tongue and she grinned at the feeling before looking at Danni.

“I’m sure you know.” She said. “It would be a mistake.”

Danni nodded.

“I know. You wouldn’t have made the call and booked the appointment if you weren’t convinced you were doing the right thing.” Danni told her. “But here’s the thing Mum,” she began placing a hand on her very pregnant stomach. “Sometimes the right thing is also the wrong thing. I was so selfish getting pregnant and not trying to get through to Mike. I knew he was in trouble and yet I pushed and pushed until he left, thinking that I was so smart for this. But making my baby grow up in the world without Mike? That wasn’t so smart because he’s going to make a wonderful Dad.”

Ella sighed curling up her legs on the sofa.

“It’s just I can’t get ill and risk them losing me too.” Ella said. “And it’s not fair to put them through that. I want to spend time with them all not get caught up taking care of another baby.”

Danni nodded.

“Anyway Michelle is coming to get me. The doctor has told me not to drive anymore.” Danni said.

“Problems?” Ella asked immediately.

Danni shook her head.

“No.” she said softly feeling Ella’s love curl around her like a soft blanket. “Just worried about bump being in the wrong place.”

She stood and moved over to Ella placing a kiss to her cheek.

“If you want me or need anything give me a call please Mum.”

Ella nodded.

“Goodnight daughter.” She told her watching as Danni eased out of the door.

She waited a few minutes before she stood and walked into the bedroom stripping off her clothes before catching sight of her reflection in the mirror. She looked over and placed a hand on her stomach feeling the flatness there. Nothing to say that a baby was inside her. Nothing to show for this life.

She sighed and moved over to the bed climbing naked under the sheets and pulling the blanket up over her. Tossing about in the too empty bed she eventually fell asleep.

Ella put it down to nerves making her feel sick as she waited sitting patiently. She kept looking at her watch and frowning before picking up a magazine and flicking through it. She put it to one side and looked at her watch again before standing up and pacing. She worked out it was twenty-seven steps end to end as she walked back and forth. She saw the magazine lying on the table and walked back over to it picking it up once more. The subject matter didn’t really appeal to her but she forced herself to read it focusing on the black print in front of her, ignoring it when it blurred in places as she read it.

“Ella.” She heard her name called and looked up and over to Roman.

“Hold me.” She begged. “Hold me please.”

He dropped the bag he was holding to the deck and moved over to her opening up his arms.

She stepped into them and clung to him as she began to sob.

“It’s going to be okay.” He promised. “He’s not worth it.”

Ella pulled back and looked at him too upset to contradict him.

He wiped at her tears before lifting her up and carrying her inside his shack and over to his sofa. Sitting down with her still in his arms he held her until her tears stopped.

“Hey.” He said softly. “It’s ok.”

Ella shook her head and looked at him.

“I’m pregnant.” She told him.

Roman flinched and fought the impulse to push her away. She obviously needed him and he had to be there for her she was still his wife.

“Ella.” He called her name knowing that would focus her attention on him. “Have you seen Rachel? Are you ok?”

She shook her head.

“No you aren’t?” he asked puzzled.

“I haven’t seen Rachel. I had it confirmed at the free clinic to save on embarrassing questions.”

“Well you need to see the doctor and make sure it’s all ok.” he said his hand stroking the hair back from her face.

Her eyes met his and she sucked in a deep breath.

“I thought I could do it.” she began. She watched as he frowned.

“Do what?” he asked.

“Get rid of it.” she said bursting into tears again.

“Oh El, of course you couldn’t. Anymore than I could stop breathing.” He said to her. “You silly girl.”

She looked at him then and saw a half smile on his face.

“I’m too old to have another baby and the other children will hate it.” she said.

“You are beautiful and amazing and you’ll find a way to be with all the children and have this baby.” He promised her.

“Without a father.” She said sounding bitter.

“If he’s not around it’s his loss.” Roman murmured trying not to let it show on his face that he was jealous as hell or that he really wanted to go kill the man who had obviously got her pregnant and left her.

Ella felt herself get mad before she realised that he was thinking her mythical boyfriend was to blame. She felt the beginning of a small smile on her face before she lifted her eyes and looked at him.

“You really think he is a heel for not sticking around now he knows I’m pregnant?” she asked her tone deceptively soft.

“Yes.” Roman said before he looked at her. “El?” he asked an uncertain note in his voice.

She reached out and slapped his arm.

“What was that for?” he muttered.

“For thinking I’m the kind of girl to sleep around.” she said before hitting him again. “And that is for not having a vasectomy years ago.”

Roman stood up lifting her with him before he kissed her.

“Don’t I get bonus points for being understanding when I thought you were pregnant by someone else?” he asked clamping down on the joy inside him.

She shook her head before bursting into tears again.

“El please don’t cry. It will all work out for the best.” He promised her.

“How?” she sobbed. “Because I have to go home and see everyone looking at me as I get fat. And you aren’t going to be there for us.”

“I know.” He murmured.

“Oh so I’m fat am I?” she muttered hitting him again.

“Woah, go steady with these hormones woman.” He said before kissing her once more. “You should have stopped me.”

“I tried.” She said blushing.

“Not very hard.”

“Well I thought it couldn’t happen because my system has been screwy.” She said weakly.

“Liar.” He murmured.

He picked her up and carried her over to his bedroom nudging the door open with his foot and sitting her on the bed. He knelt in front of her and placed his hand on her stomach.

“We need to make sure you are ok.” he said.

“You’re not going to come with me it’s too dangerous.” She interrupted him.

“We’ll find a way. I don’t want you to go through this on your own.”

“Roman what is the point of you being here if you just pop up and declare yourself alive. He’ll come after you and us.” She said looking at him. She felt the warmth of his hand on her stomach and sighed.

“We’ll think of something.” He said to her. “Now I want you to lay down and get some rest while I fix us dinner.”

Ella nodded tiredly.

“It’ll have your eyes.” She told him. “Now how do I explain that one?”

He lifted her under the covers removing her shoes and tucking her in.

“I love you.” He told her watching as she fell instantly asleep.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 38

“How long was I asleep?” she muttered feeling defensive for some reason.

“A while.” He told her. “Would you like some tea?”

Ella nodded and tugged on the t shirt she was wearing. She had gone to the clinic in a taxi with just her handbag and after five minutes inside she’d escaped heading to the train station and then walking from the next town over to his shack.

“I’ve washed your things.” He said quietly.

Ella nodded once more walking over to him and accepting the cup of ginger tea from him.

“I should let them know I’m ok.” she whispered. “But ..”

“I’ve texted Jacko and he’s going to let them know you’re here.” He told her.

“Roman we can’t do this.” She said biting her lip as she looked at him.

“Ella as long as you are healthy then we will find a way.” He said to her before walking out on to the veranda. She searched round for her shoes and found them before following him. She looked at him puzzled as he moved around the side of his shack.

“What?” she gasped out.

“It’s for your motorbike.” He told her. “Although you might not be using that so much now.”

He opened up the small shed he’d built on to the side of the building that was able to house her motorbike, jacket and helmet.

“So why did you do this when I said I wasn’t coming back?” she asked.

“Because I was hopeful that maybe you’d come back again.” He said softly. “That you couldn’t stay away from me.”

“You stayed away from us.” She pointed out.

“And it killed me inside.” He murmured after a minute of silence. “But I am the bastard who could do that. It’s what made me into the solider, being able to clamp down on my emotions.”

Ella nodded before she took hold of his hand.

“I never meant to make you weak.” She whispered.

“Weak? El, you make me happy and amazed and give me a strength that I never knew existed. You are right I can’t be there when you are sick in the mornings or for the routine doctor appointments but I will be there to see the scans and at the birth. I’ll find a way, that I promise.” He told her.

She looked at him about to say something when she felt the wave of nausea flood through her again and she thrust the half finished cup of ginger tea at him before running inside to the bathroom. Roman grinned putting the cup to one side before he grabbed a bottle of water and followed her.

“Hate you.” She muttered.

“I know.” He said sitting next to her and reaching for the washcloth to wipe her face.. “But in my defence you did seduce me.”

“Huh.” Ella muttered before bending over the toilet once more. “How?” she said leaning back up and wiping her mouth with tissue.

Roman leaned forward and whispered into her ear.

“You told me to warm your feet up.”

Ella gasped before laughing.

“Idiot.”

“Yes but I am your idiot.” He said before kissing the top of her head. “Think you can stand up?”

Ella nodded and let him help her up, she moved to the little sink and splashed water on her face before reaching for the toothpaste. If she’d packed she would have her toothbrush but settled for putting some of the minty paste on her finger and rubbed it around her mouth before rinsing.

“I don’t mind sharing.” He whispered in her ear.

Ella chuckled.

“Think that’s about all I can stand at the minute.” She admitted.

“Come on.” He told her leading them over to the sofa. He eased her down and put the throw over her.

“Drink.” He said handing her the water bottle once more watching as she took the bottle from him and sipped at it.

“Danni’s pregnant.” She told him.

“I know, Mike told me. He’s worried about being a dad.”

“He never said anything to me.” Ella muttered feeling strangely left out.

“No it was a father son talk.” Roman told her. “He wanted to know what it was like to look after a baby full time.”

“And you said?” Ella asked still frowning.

“That it scared me stupid. I had just got home and you were dealing with other stuff and it was twins. Of all the things you could have done to me giving me twins was pure evil.” He said seeing her mouth twitch in a smile.

“It was your sperm that did it.” she said quickly.

“Yeah, we’re pretty fertile together.” He said quietly his eyes slipping to her stomach. “I can’t believe it’s happened again.”

Ella sighed.

“I should have …” she stopped seeing the look in his eyes.

“We made love every night and every day for three days. At no point did I ever stop and ask if I needed birth control.” He said slowly.

Ella looked at him before she lifted her hand to his face.

“And I didn’t say anything.”

“So we sorta wanted this to happen didn’t we?”

Ella smiled, it was his smile he noted loving the way her lips curved and she looked at him. She gave a small nod and he couldn’t help leaning over and kissing her.

“I love you Ella Harris.” He told her.

Ella looked at him and sighed.

“I love you.” She replied. “But I’m still pretty mad at you.”

He grinned before he kissed her once more.

“Now then would you like to go for a swim?”

Ella shook her head smiling at him.

“Not swimming?” he asked grinning back at her.

“No.” she said shaking her head.

She stood up and peeled off the t shirt before walking into the bedroom.

“What’s taking you so long?” she called out.

“Oh nothing.” He muttered following her. She was laying full length on his bed completely naked. “Should you be doing this?”

“You are taking the time to ask me questions?” she muttered leaning up on one arm. “Are you seeing someone else?”

Roman swore under his breath.

“Of course I’m not seeing anyone.” He told her.

“Well don’t you want to have sex with me?”

“Ella you’ve just been ill and you still look pale.” He protested weakly.

“Fine.” She muttered standing up and began walking over to the bathroom. Roman reached out and caught hold of her arm.

“Naked?” he asked. “You’re teasing me? Well you can spend all day walking around like that and it won’t change anything.” He added and then frowned as she looked at him and slowly smiled.

She tossed her hair back and eased her arm out of his grasp and continued into the bathroom. He heard the shower come on and grimaced before he turned and walked into the bathroom.

“You are going to spend the day naked now aren’t you?” he asked.

Ella smiled at him without saying anything just watching as Roman stripped off his clothes and climbed into the shower with her.

“I should warn you this water gets cold pretty quick.” He said as he began kissing her.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around him.

“You’ll keep me hot.” She told him.

Roman laughed.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 39

Danni stood up and moved the file back over to the bookcase at the end of the room. She felt a twinge in her back and dismissed it.

“Danni can you get the brochures for Paris for me.” One of her colleagues called.

She nodded and moved along the bookcase reaching up once more when she felt a gush of liquid running down her legs.

“Oh god.” She gasped out.

“Danni what…” the same colleague said standing up and coming over to her.

“I think the baby is coming.” Danni muttered feeling her stomach cramping.

“Come and sit down.” Her manager said quickly. She guided her to a chair and eased her into it. “I’m going to call an ambulance ok?”

Danni nodded.

“My phone. I need Mike.” she said beginning to pant.

Her manager picked up the phone and called for the ambulance as one of the other women ran into the staff room and returned with Danni’s bag handing it to her.

“Its too soon.” Danni said to them a note of panic in her voice. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I want to be home with Ella and Mike.”

“Calm down Danni.” Her manager murmured pushing a hand through her hair. “The ambulance is on its way.”

Danni nodded before reaching into her bag. She grabbed her phone and dialled Mike’s number.

“This is so not the time for you to have voicemail on.” She groaned. She hung up and redialled frowning once more at the phone.

“Roman Michael Addison Harris if you don’t get to the hospital and help me with this birthing business we are never having sex again.” She shouted into the phone just as the first real contraction took hold.

“I’ve called your housemate Michelle. She’s going to meet you at the hospital.” Her other colleague murmured.

Danni nodded panting through the pain. The next part went through in blurs. The ambulance arrived and she was ushered into the back and driven away, sirens and lights flashing. She looked around herself seeing things as though they were a long distance away.

Mike parked his bike in the ambulance bay and jumped off racing inside. He looked round for someone to help before realising he still had his helmet on and yanked it off as he headed over to the reception desk. He saw the pink uniformed nurse and grabbed hold of her arm.

“Danni Harris. She’s having a baby.” He said.

“Sir please let me go before I call security.”

“Call who you like but tell me about my fiancée!” he muttered releasing her. He caught her frowning at him before she moved over to the desk and looked at the computer screen.

“Ok she is in recovery in Maternity.”

Mike groaned.

“The baby?” he asked.

“Maternity is that way can I suggest that you calm down before you get there or we’ll probably have to get you removed.” She threatened.

He gave her a look before heading the way she’d pointed reporting to the reception desk on the maternity ward and being shown to Danni’s room. She was laying in the bed looking paler than the while covered pillows she was lying in and he groaned before going over and sitting next to her. He took her hand within his own and sighed.

“Hey.” Danni mumbled sleepily trying to force herself awake.

“Danni you scared me so much.” He admitted before he could stop himself.

“Sorry. She came so quick.”

“She?” he asked a half smile on his face.

“Sorry.” Danni said again tears beginning to fall down his face. “I tried so hard to keep her safe.”

He felt his stomach tie itself up in knots and stood discarding his jacket and helmet before heading over to the reception desk once more.

“My baby?” he asked preparing himself to be told the baby was gone. He understood what Roman had told him now, how small it made you feel to be faced with the knowledge that something could go so wrong so quickly. Knowing that Roman was remembering Francesca the baby he and his Mum had lost at 6 months. Danni had been just six and a half months pregnant.

“You have a little girl, sir. Unfortunately she is quite poorly but she’s a fighter.” He was told before they led him to the intensive care unit. He scrubbed up donning protective sterile gear before they let him inside and he was able to see her. She had a mask over her face, a machine breathing for her and he saw how hard her little heart was beating.

“Has Danni seen her?” he asked.

“Not yet. The birth was quite traumatic.”

Mike nodded before taking out his phone and taking a picture. He put his phone away and cleaned his hand pulling on gloves before putting his hands through the two holes in the side of the incubator and touching his daughter.

“Sorry Babes but you came so quickly that we haven’t got your name for you. We’re good on names. They mean something to us. I want you to have the name Lily somewhere in there. Lily is going to be your favourite Aunt. She is so smart and cheeky and she will get you into so much trouble.” He told her stroking her chest feeling it rise and fall with the artificial breath. “Not that I’m discounting Meggy, she is still chief troublemaker. Oh sweetie, you have to make it because you have so much love and family around that just wants to spoil you.” He added his voice breaking.

He eased back and blew her a kiss before leaving the Unit and heading back to Danni seeing that she was more awake and aware now.

“Hey you.” He said his voice still full of emotion. “You scared me so much I got a speeding ticket getting here.”

Danni half smiled.

“Is she…”

“She’s a fighter.” He said sitting on the edge of the bed. He took out his phone and showed her the picture.

“My god I thought I’d lost her. She’s so small.”

Mike nodded leaning forward and kissing her on the top of her head.

“Where is Ella?” she asked looking around.

“I don’t know. We can’t get hold of her.” he admitted. “Her phone is switched off.”

“Is she ok after you know.”

“I don’t know.” Mike said. “But I guess she’ll be having some words with you for doing this without us.”

“Wasn’t my choice.” Danni told him. “Labour only took two hours.”

“Oh Gabby is so going to kill you.” Mike said with a grin before he shifted in the bed so he could put his arms around her. “Don’t scare me like that again please.” He asked. “I don’t’ think my heart could take it.”

Danni gave a small laugh.

“Will they let me see her?” she asked.

“I think so. Let me go make arrangements.”

“Mike.” Danni protested.

“What?” he asked.

“Just hold me for a few more minutes,” she begged. “I needed you so much.”

“I know and I’m kicking myself for not being here.”

“But that’s it. I felt you with me. You know like Roman and Ella, that kind of with me.”

“Then I’m glad but nothing is going to make me feel better for a long time at missing our baby being born.”

She sighed and looked at him before closing her eyes tiredly and slipping asleep.