Lost Your Mind Trying To Get It Back (by Jen) - comments

[Jen]

Hmm.Okay, I'm not really sure what to make of that, you were certainly right about it not being nice and neat.I was disappointed Xavier and April broke up although I guess it was on the cards and the suggestion that she and Dex have ended up together...I know there've been hints of feelings, especially on her side, throughout the fiction but it felt like a bit of a plot swerve.Maybe I'm being hypercritical there but it feels like the whole Dex/Casey thing is almost abandoned at the end.At least Casey's all right and seems to be happier now.Sorry if that sounds harsh, it just felt like the ending didn't really fit the story, but it's been an enjoyable read as always and thank you for sharing.

I have to admit too I am a little dispointed too. but I enjoyed reading the chapter all the same I think it's ashame April got with Dex. I really thought agaisnt all the odds that Dex and Casey were going to end up together I think they should of just bitten the bullet and gone for it. I feel Dex might of just settled for the safest option here with April. Maybe because he was afraid of the baggage Casey would bring him. but saying all that I have really enjoyed reading this I think it has been one of my favs fics

No, don't apologise. I totally appreciate the feedback. In my head it was like, whatever Dex had with Casey may or may not have passed, and after all the drama he wanted things to be simple for a while. Maybe it was a bit of a cop out to not put them together in the end, but when I was writing I was thinking about the "happily ever after" and how you don't always get that. April has been this steadfast support through Dex's ordeal, and Casey's been kind of wishy-washy. Casey acts on impulse and often violently to prove his worth, whereas April will sit and talk and know when to not say anything. Do April and Dex stay together? I don't know. The main point of this for me, was to explore Dex's head a bit and what happens when you take what makes him Dex and erase it, how it changes him. It wasn't ever about the "ship" so to speak. In the end I couldn't justify Dex being with Casey after everything that's happened. All the hurt and angst and needing help, that kind of traumatic experience isn't something you get over or just dive back into, and as far as I could see, Dex being with Casey would be putting himself back in the firing line, and Dex doesn't want to be in that position again. So maybe my message, by putting Dex with April so easily, is that Dex isn't over it, but he's trying to distance himself from that part of his life.

I hate those authors who come in and try to justify their writing after it's all over, like they're trying to change people's minds, but let me assure you I'm not. I value everything you've said throughout the fic, and thank you for sticking with it. Maybe there should have been a scene where we get Dex and Casey talking, more than what was said in the hospital, where Casey calls him out on being with April, maybe calls him a coward for taking the easy option, and Dex has to tell him that he can't do it, that he can't put himself through it all again, because he's just tired of everything.

The bonus that I included is just Casey's point of view of the main event, so if you want to you can read, but I don't mind if you leave it where this story ends.

[pembie]

Hey Jen

Thanks your points you have made have made it clearer for me to understand why you ended the story this way. I can see you point about Casey acting out on impuse sometimes violently So I can see now how April at this moment in time is right for Dex. I got the sense that Dex wasn't fully over Casey, so maybe being with April will help him out with that. Your right about not all things go to plan in life and doesn't always turn out the way you wanted. I can see now how Dex might of wanted to get away from the danger of being with Casey.

Thanks for your reply.

[mizziette]

I'm a little disappointed that they didn't end up together but if you think about it, it sort of fits with the characters. Neither of the boys were ready to take the plunge. April seemed like more of a best friend to me though.

I loved Dex and Casey's little acknowledgement of each other at the end. They went their seperate ways but its like the one passionate heart breaking affair they'll always remember when they look back on their lives in 50 years.

You're an amazing writer Jen. Loved this story. You have a really distinctive style.

[Red Ranger 1]

No, don't apologise. I totally appreciate the feedback. In my head it was like, whatever Dex had with Casey may or may not have passed, and after all the drama he wanted things to be simple for a while. Maybe it was a bit of a cop out to not put them together in the end, but when I was writing I was thinking about the "happily ever after" and how you don't always get that. April has been this steadfast support through Dex's ordeal, and Casey's been kind of wishy-washy. Casey acts on impulse and often violently to prove his worth, whereas April will sit and talk and know when to not say anything. Do April and Dex stay together? I don't know. The main point of this for me, was to explore Dex's head a bit and what happens when you take what makes him Dex and erase it, how it changes him. It wasn't ever about the "ship" so to speak. In the end I couldn't justify Dex being with Casey after everything that's happened. All the hurt and angst and needing help, that kind of traumatic experience isn't something you get over or just dive back into, and as far as I could see, Dex being with Casey would be putting himself back in the firing line, and Dex doesn't want to be in that position again. So maybe my message, by putting Dex with April so easily, is that Dex isn't over it, but he's trying to distance himself from that part of his life.

I hate those authors who come in and try to justify their writing after it's all over, like they're trying to change people's minds, but let me assure you I'm not. I value everything you've said throughout the fic, and thank you for sticking with it. Maybe there should have been a scene where we get Dex and Casey talking, more than what was said in the hospital, where Casey calls him out on being with April, maybe calls him a coward for taking the easy option, and Dex has to tell him that he can't do it, that he can't put himself through it all again, because he's just tired of everything.

The bonus that I included is just Casey's point of view of the main event, so if you want to you can read, but I don't mind if you leave it where this story ends.

I understand your point about how it would have been difficult to put Dexter and Casey back together after everything that happened and I agree that at that point in the story it's probably not the right ending. Although I understand what you say about Dexter trying to move on and distance himself, I thought the thing with April was an unnecessary complication and in a sense seemed even more unlikely an ending than Dexter ending up with Casey, since his view of her seemed to be a good friend that he maybe had subconscious feelings for rather than a realistic alternative.It might perhaps have worked better if Dexter hadn't ended up with anyone and it was all just possibilities but you've got me thinking so that's the mark of a good story.

[Zetti]

I spent the past two days wondering exactly how I am supposed to respond to that chapter, I thoroughly enjoyed the fic but I have to be honest with you, I didn't like the ending. Whilst Dex and Casey didnt end up together, I wanted Dex to reject him. Casey was the cause of his lost memories and it feels like it was just brushed to one side and focused on his 'feelings' which is fair enough but I would have personally preferred it if it had not been like that. I wanted to see more of their views. I am intensely glad that Casey and Dex were not together even though for the few first chapter I wanted it, that changed when I realised that Casey caused it. His 'heroics' with Heath was stupid.. sorry if that sounds critical. I dont want to rubbish the story because it is one of the best I have read from you and that is my honest opinion. You did say it was not going to be a neat and tidy ending which is why I wasnt surprised when April and Xavier ended up together. However it feels uncompleted. I really wanted to know more about them. To explore it more but all in all it's a great fic & look forward to reading/commenting on the bonus piece. I really hope I haven't offended you or been too critical. That is not my intention.

Zetti xx

[Jen]

Thanks your points you have made have made it clearer for me to understand why you ended the story this way. I can see you point about Casey acting out on impuse sometimes violently So I can see now how April at this moment in time is right for Dex. I got the sense that Dex wasn't fully over Casey, so maybe being with April will help him out with that. Your right about not all things go to plan in life and doesn't always turn out the way you wanted. I can see now how Dex might of wanted to get away from the danger of being with Casey.

Again, I guess that is something I should have made clearer. The fact that Dex didn't feel safe being with Casey, particularly not in that way. Thanks for the response.

I'm a little disappointed that they didn't end up together but if you think about it, it sort of fits with the characters. Neither of the boys were ready to take the plunge. April seemed like more of a best friend to me though.

I loved Dex and Casey's little acknowledgement of each other at the end. They went their seperate ways but its like the one passionate heart breaking affair they'll always remember when they look back on their lives in 50 years.

You're an amazing writer Jen. Loved this story. You have a really distinctive style.

Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback. The ending was one of those things I was okay with when I wrote it, but I guess it is sort of incomplete in a sense. This is Dex's story, not Casey's, so the acknowledgement is there, but nothing more than that. How Casey tries to move forward from this a completely independent scenario.

I understand your point about how it would have been difficult to put Dexter and Casey back together after everything that happened and I agree that at that point in the story it's probably not the right ending. Although I understand what you say about Dexter trying to move on and distance himself, I thought the thing with April was an unnecessary complication and in a sense seemed even more unlikely an ending than Dexter ending up with Casey, since his view of her seemed to be a good friend that he maybe had subconscious feelings for rather than a realistic alternative.It might perhaps have worked better if Dexter hadn't ended up with anyone and it was all just possibilities but you've got me thinking so that's the mark of a good story.

Thanks for the feedback relating to April. Considering the sort of response I'm getting maybe I should have left them friends? Dex possibly should have figured he needed to focus on getting his own lift back on track rather than plunging into another relationship. When I was writing I was considering that April was the one person Dex could turn to through it all, the one persion who wouldn't judge or ask unnecessary questions and just accepted Dex as Dex, so it made sense to pair them up.

I spent the past two days wondering exactly how I am supposed to respond to that chapter, I thoroughly enjoyed the fic but I have to be honest with you, I didn't like the ending. Whilst Dex and Casey didnt end up together, I wanted Dex to reject him. Casey was the cause of his lost memories and it feels like it was just brushed to one side and focused on his 'feelings' which is fair enough but I would have personally preferred it if it had not been like that. I wanted to see more of their views. I am intensely glad that Casey and Dex were not together even though for the few first chapter I wanted it, that changed when I realised that Casey caused it. His 'heroics' with Heath was stupid.. sorry if that sounds critical. I dont want to rubbish the story because it is one of the best I have read from you and that is my honest opinion. You did say it was not going to be a neat and tidy ending which is why I wasnt surprised when April and Xavier ended up together. However it feels uncompleted. I really wanted to know more about them. To explore it more but all in all it's a great fic & look forward to reading/commenting on the bonus piece. I really hope I haven't offended you or been too critical. That is not my intention.

Zetti xx

First, can I say that it's comments like this that spur me on to write more. To try again and do better and acknowledge that there are parts of this story that if I could I would go back and change. It's all very well and good to get nice comments that say, "Great fic, update soon!" (and they too are appreciated and certainly make me feel good), but it's something else to have someone read your story and then think about it and give a thoughtful response. That goes for most of the comments throughout this story, particularly after the last part. When someone reads something I've written I'm opening myself up to criticism and given that it's warranted and constructive I can't get mad, and I never will. I completely appreciate what you are saying and understand your point of view, and if I write something like this again I will consider this.

The Dex in my head hates confrontation, he doesn't well fighting with others, he wants to almost bury his head in the sand (referenced many times throughout the fic when he wishes that he'd never woke up/remembered in the first place). He has plans and things that he knows he's good at, and knows how things are supposed to work out. The Happily Ever After. The journey to me was Dex having all that ripped away, being stripped of everything that made Dex Dex and having to build himself from the ground up again, redefine who he was. Not that he doesn't deserve that happy ending, but that he maybe has to work for it. That some things don't turn out the way you plan, but that you also get a choice about how you respond to bad situations. So it was Dex's arc that sort of brought me to the final part of the story, where he's back where he started almost, and he had a choice about how to proceed. The right and left fork, as it were. The April vs Casey, and he felt as though he had to make a choice.

I never once wrote the story with Casey in mind as the 'bad guy', the cause of the problems. He's the same age as Dex, just a kid, and also just trying to figure out who he is, what makes him tick. I'm not saying your reading of the story is wrong or unjustified, because reading your comment I completely understand where you are coming from and understand why you are disappointed with the way it ended. I promise that I take all of that on board, and can not thank you enough for the critical response. It's honestly made me think and want to do better next time.

To everyone who had read and commented on "Lost Your Mind", you are all wonderful and I honestly don't deserve to have people be as dedicated to this story and the integrity of the characters as you are. So, thank you. Seriously. I've never had this sort of response to one of my fics before and it's been an eye-opening experience as an author.

[Miranda]

Gosh, missed the ending, sorry.

Unexpected! I thought our boys would end up together, but... However, I LOVE unresolved endings, I LOVE them! Well done for NOT tying it up neatly like a parcel. Cos life definitely ain't like that.

[MatildaHunterFan]

Wow, you blew me away with that ending Jen! Sorry I missed it I was really busy and had stuff to do in school....

Very unexpected, but really well-written, I love how Dex eventually ended up with April.....Although it isn't sure which is good I think, then there's room to speculate.

I'm really looking forward to another fanfic of yours, you are so good at writing them, never disappointing. I just love how you portray the characters in your writing and how good they interact with eachother, I could really relate to them. There were sweet scenes in this fanfic, but also exciting ones, so really well done, Jen! Once again I'm deeply impressed.

Love,

Sandy xx

P.S. : I love Innocent, and you're right, for every day, good or bad, there's a song by Taylor Swift you can absloutely relate to.

Edited April 2, 2012 by MatildaHunterFan