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Shadow of the Day

Guest mizziette

By Guest mizziette
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mizziette

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Thanks for commenting :)

TWENTY FOUR

Xavier woke up to the ruffling of sheets. Opening his eyes, he saw the silhouette of Ruby against the moonlight seeping in through the window, quietly getting dressed. The moon was still out so it was still pretty early into the new day. ‘Ruby, what are you doing?’

‘I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry,’ Ruby apologised quietly as she slipped her clothes back on. Once they were all on, she brushed down her hair with her fingers self-consciously and turned around. It was only occurring to her what they’d just done. ‘Jade’s sleeping in my room. I need to go somewhere, can you…?’

‘Yeah, of course, I’ll keep an eye on her.’ Xavier nodded sleepily. The awkwardness filled the silence as they both increasingly became aware of what they had just done. A few hours ago, it had seemed right but now Xavier wondered if he sleeping with Ruby would ruin everything. ‘Where are you going this time of night?’

‘I need some air. Can’t sleep,’ Ruby smiled awkwardly. Her hand was resting on the bed quite close to Xavier’s and she unsurely brushed her hand to his, intertwining their fingers. Xavier held it back. He smiled; so did she.

‘Listen, are we okay?’ Xavier asked. After last night, he wanted to be sure. ‘About last night…’

‘Yeah,’ Ruby nodded. Biting her lip nervously, she bent down and placed a light kiss on his lips before sitting upright again. After they were finished, Xavier had fallen straight to sleep but she hadn’t had the luxury. Instead, she’d spent the night in thought. ‘You were right,’

‘What?’

‘You were right about me,’ Ruby inhaled. ‘I’m not ready for parenting. I can barely even look after myself. I guess I was just venting about Brax and not thinking straight. Jade deserves better than either of us, really. Brax and I; we’re both as broken as each other.’

‘I’m proud of you,’ Xavier admitted, still lying down on the pillow. As he felt the cotton sheets under him, it warmed his heart to think what they had just done on those same sheets. He almost blushed. ‘I’m proud of you for being such a great sister. Jade’s a lucky girl,’

‘I’m the lucky one,’ Ruby admitted. She smiled as she rubbed Xavier’s hand once more in farewell and stood up to leave. ‘I won’t be long,’

When she left the house, Ruby went to the beach. It was a windy night and she had to pull her sweater in tighter around her body. The waves crashed like thunder against the rocks and Ruby lay down on the cold sand and gazed up at the clear sky, with its shining stars and crescent moon. It was perfectly solitary, all the better for her to think.

In the wake of Jade’s birth, Charlie had been even more distant than usual. It was little things; turning away from company in the hospital bed, turning away from her new daughter, looking at things as if she was seeing through them, looking at things without emotion. The little things that Charlie did amounted to a mountain of worry for her family and friends.

Heath could remember the day Charlie brought Jade home. And he remembered the days afterwards. There was a forlorn look on Charlie’s face, an emotionless look; every time she glanced at her daughter. The day he’d applied for the Summer Bay high surfing coach position, he’d returned home to the sound of cries. In the make shift nursery corner in Brax’ room, Jade lay in the cot, whimpering as babies did.

Charlie made no move to pick her baby up and soothe her. She simply stared at the child longingly, as if she didn’t know how to comfort her. Charlie lifted her hand cautiously over Jade’s hair to touch her but it only lingered there. As Heath watched from the doorway, he noticed that she was afraid to touch the baby; afraid she might break. A lone tear slipped from the woman’s eye.

Heath tripped over a rattle on the floor and Charlie turned around. She wiped her tear and stared at Heath. It was Heath who picked up his niece in the end; Heath who comforted her. This only made Charlie even more upset that she didn’t know how to soothe her own child.

Standing in line at the diner, Heath found it hard to believe his niece was already four years old. What was more astonishing was the thirteen year old girl standing beside him texting on her phone with the iPod blaring in her ears. Darcy Callaghan, with her long blonde hair and cheesy smile had certainly grown fast.

‘Darcy, are you listening to me?’ Heath sighed for the millionth time and pulled the ear phone out of his daughter’s ear.

‘Dad, what was that for?’ Darcy groaned when the music stopped damaging her ear drums.

‘What do you want to eat?’ Heath gestured to the counter. Darcy just shrugged not caring and put her ear phone back in. Heath scoffed. If she wasn’t going to say what she wanted, he’d decide for her. ‘Broccoli soup it is,’

‘It’s like he’s right back when Charlie had just died,’ Leah’s voice and the mention of Charlie’s name diverted Heath’s attention to the conversation Leah just to the side of the cash register. Leah continued speaking. ‘He’s just so depressed,’

‘Well, he’s always been a little off since Charlie hasn’t he?’ Bianca spoke softly, her hair in its natural curls that day. Heath realised the women were talking about Brax. Heath had noticed the same increase in melancholy the last couple weeks in his older brother. The reason for it was still unknown.

‘Yeah, but he’s always been able to function. I’m really worried about him. He’s been like this since Jade nearly drowned. I think he’s blaming himself for not paying attention or something,’ Leah filled up Bianca’s coffee cup and handed it to her.

Bianca took the coffee in one hand and handed over the pink five dollar note in the other. Leah went to get the change and handed the coins back to her. ‘I’ll see you later,’

Bianca left the diner after her good byes and Heath moved up the line so he stood in front of Leah. He grinned cheekily. ‘Chicken Parma for me and Broccoli soup for the girl,’

Leah looked at Darcy, still obliviously texting her friends on her phone. ‘We don’t sell broccoli soup. How about a sandwich instead?’

‘Yeah, why not?’ Heath shrugged. As Leah set the order, he glanced over at her. ‘You know, my brother can look after himself. You don’t need to be gossiping about Brax behind his back.’

Leah glanced back at him, surprised by the friendly attack. ‘There’s a difference between gossiping and showing concern for a friend. Surely you’ve noticed he’s been acting a little strangely lately.’

‘If he has, it’s his business, so stay out of it eh,’ Heath had noticed but he believed in letting people solve their own problems. If Brax wanted help, he’d ask for it. That didn’t mean Heath didn’t worry though; he hadn’t seen Brax this bad since Charlie. In a way, this new bout of sadness was worse.

Heath waited for his lunch order to be prepared and Leah served her customers. Bianca walked to Angelo’s with her coffee to see Liam in his lunch break and Darcy texted her friends. None of them knew what Brax was really going through.

They had no idea that Brax was grieving for the loss of Charlie for a second time. Ever since Jade had her accident on the body board, Brax had not only been beating himself up for it like every one supposed but he’d been upset when Charlie had disappeared. After shutting her out that first night, Brax had desperately tried to get her back but there was only emptiness in his mind. The emptiness seeped into his heart and commandeered his blood stream and before he knew it, he was empty all over. Charlie was gone all over again.

VJ hated that all his friends were allowed to go out and stay up late and do all the things normal teenagers did while he couldn’t. There were times where he forgot that his mother was so protective because she was scared and he occasionally resented her for her suffocation. That’s what it was. It was suffocating.

Leah meant well but her concern got tedious at times. VJ hadn’t even bothered with schoolies because he knew his mother would’ve had a heart attack. ‘It’s just a party mum. Justin’s eighteenth birthday, I can’t miss it,’

The reply had been short yet stern. ‘No,’

And it had been followed by the usual lecture. Sex, drugs, alcohol, too wild, too dangerous, too late, too much, all the excuses he’d already heard over and over again. It would be futile to inform her that Justin’s birthday celebration was a bunch eating pizza from Angelo’s by a beach bonfire; barely even ten people. That would just have ensured concern on the dangers of night swimming, open fires and god knew what else.

This was why VJ snuck out of the house to go to a small cosy gathering between friends. Out the window so the locks stayed in place while Leah was out at work. What his mother didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

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mizziette

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Thanks every one. Hope you like this one.

TWENTY FIVE

VJ got home that night to the lights of a police siren flashing in his driveway. He sighed. This was not going to be good. His mind reverted back to the times Charlie used to park her squad car in the exact same spot during her lunch breaks. He brushed away the thought. Slowly, he began making his way to the back of the house to the kitchen door.

‘Leah, it’s a lot more likely that he’s just out with his friends or something,’ VJ could hear Xavier in the kitchen talking to his mum. ‘He wouldn’t be the first kid to sneak out,’

‘Xavier, this is VJ. He doesn’t sneak out. Why won’t you do anything?’ Leah sounded exasperated.

‘Even if something had happened to VJ, I can’t report him missing for twenty four hours. And personally, I’m sure he’ll be home before morning,’ Xavier knew Leah was overreacting but he had to check out triple 000 call anyway.

VJ took a deep breath before he slowly opened the kitchen door and entered. ‘Mum?’

‘VJ, thank god,’ Leah rushed to hug her son. And then the relief passed and she realised what he had done. She lightly tapped his upper arm scoldingly. ‘What were you thinking scaring me like that?’

‘You called the cops mum? Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?’ VJ looked at Xavier in his police uniform.

‘Well, it looks like everything’s under control here so I’ll leave you to it,’ Xavier lightly smiled at VJ in sympathy and walked back to his squad car. He knew how the boy felt.

‘It’s not overreacting when you’re not home when I get back from work and you’re forty five minutes past your curfew,’ Leah scolded; the worry was transforming itself into frustration.

‘Yeah, I think I’m the only adult, who has a curfew,’

‘You’re not an adult if you’re sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night.’ Leah retorted. It was fifteen past midnight. ‘I’ll treat you like an adult when you start acting it,’

‘I’ve been acting it for a while now but it doesn’t seem to work,’ VJ spoke calmly. ‘I’ve always been mature and responsible and you still treat me like I’m a kid. Why bother?’

Leah looked hurt. ‘You’re my only son, I worry about you,’

‘I can take care of myself mum, I promise. I just need you to give me some breathing room and let me make my own decisions,’ VJ reassured her. ‘I have to live my own life someday,’

VJ began to walk to his room leaving Leah dumbfounded and turned around at the wall. ‘I’m sorry I scared you tonight. Night mum,’

The chair, although soft and cushiony, was extremely uncomfortable. Bianca just couldn’t get comfortable as she sat in the homely office in the adoption agency. Beside her sat Liam and across from the mahogany table sat a stumpy middle aged lady in a swivel chair.

‘Bianca, why don’t you tell me about your childhood? What was your family like?’ Valerie smiled at the nervous young woman, spinning her inky pen around her fingers.

Bianca felt her throat clam up and realised her palms were sweaty. Why did she have to ask about her childhood? ‘Well, I grew up in Europe, mostly. We never really stayed in the same spot for long,’

‘We?’

‘Yeah, I mean my mum and me; my little sister April when she came about. She’s just finished her medicine degree and starting a hospital internship next week. We’re very proud.’

‘I’m sure,’ Valerie noted in her lecture pad and Bianca couldn’t help but wonder what she was writing. Liam noticed and held his wife’s hand supportively. ‘What about your father?’

Bianca didn’t like the questions; they hit too close to home. ‘My father…he worked a lot. Mum’s never really had much luck in the romance department. We moved to France when I was eight, that’s when she met April’s dad. I went back to Italy though. I’m Italian,’

‘You went back when?’ Valerie waited for her to continue so Bianca sighed and did.

‘Probably fifteen, in boarding school near dad’s family; our parents wanted us to be very independent.’ Bianca didn’t mention it was because they didn’t have time for them. She could count on her fingers and toes and still have left overs the number of times she’d seen her father during her childhood. Bianca saw his family more than him.

‘And then I did my HSC in Sydney staying with mum’s sister and moved back to Italy full time. April was in Paris with mum and we all flew in and out visiting each other. April always wanted to live in Australia so that’s why we came to the bay.’ Bianca concluded.

‘Yes, with your fiancé?’ Valerie had read the gossip magazines. Dating a prince earned you notability.

‘Vittorio, yeah, he cheated on me and I never forgave him. I love Liam, he’s my forever now.’ Bianca smiled and squeezed Liam’s hand. ‘We’ve had our problems but we’re strong.’

‘Liam, I understand you were married before and had a child?’

‘Yeah, Ash just turned eight and he’s amazing. I don’t nearly see him as much as I’d like to but we have Skype; it’s not the same but I do the best I can. Having a relationship with my children is very important to me and I plan to be more involved second time around. I never got the chance to with Ash because of my lifestyle but I’ve cleaned up my act and I’m ready to do things right.’

The questions seemed endless to Bianca and Liam but they persevered through them. In the end, when Bianca stood up to shake the worker’s hand, she was astounded at the amount of baggage her and Liam carried and subsequently revealed to Valerie Pirovic. There was a pit in her stomach and she just knew, just knew, that adoption would be futile.

‘Don’t worry eh. This isn’t an inquisition. It’s just some information to help us determine what best suits your situation so we can help you. I’ll be paying your house a visit during the next couple months,’ Valerie reassured the couple but as Bianca walked out the revolving doors of the adoption agency, her heart wept and she felt emptier than ever.

Jade Buckton peeked out through the stage curtains where the crowd was gathering in the studio and felt something weird in her stomach. It felt like something was fluttering from the inside and tickling her but not in a good way. She turned around and told Ruby as much.

Ruby just laughed. ‘Oh honey, that’s just butterflies.’

‘Butterflies,’ Jade looked down at her belly in alarm. She imagined real butterflies flying in the empty space behind her belly button. ‘How they get in?’

‘Not real butterflies Jade. Pretend ones. It just means you’re a little nervous that’s all.’

‘Oh,’ Jade enunciated the word slowly and nodded her head in understanding although she still didn’t understand. ‘What’s nervous?’

‘It means…you’re a little, well, aren’t you a little worried about singing in front of all those people?’ Jade nodded. ‘That’s what it means.’

‘The people are all real scary,’ Jade admitted. ‘They staring all the time and everything,’

‘Do you want to know what I do when I get a little stage fright?’

‘How come the stage is scared? ’ The night kept getting even more confusing. Jade was meant to perform at her music program’s recital and everyone had turned up to cheer her on. It was a little daunting.

‘It’s not, I just mean you’re scared of singing on the stage,’ Jade went oh again. Ruby knelt down to her level and smiled reassuringly. ‘When I get a little nervous before a show…’

‘That means you’re worried about singing in front of all them people,’ Jade gleamed proudly, boasting about learning a new word.

Ruby smiled. ‘That’s right, when I get nervous, I just get out there and pretend the audience is really funny when I’m performing, like, maybe they’re all clowns!’

Jade went a deep shade of crimson at the thought. Her eyes bulged out of her head. ‘Clowns are even more nervousy!’

‘Okay, forget that then.’ Ruby shook her head in amusement. Charlie had been scared of clowns too. ‘How about just knowing your stuff? You know all the words don’t you?’

‘Yup, I’m real good at memory rising.’ Jade nodded eagerly. She was very proud of her memorising abilities.

‘That’s good. And you remember how to keep in time with the music? What about the keys on the piano?’ Jade nodded to both questions and Ruby exclaimed. ‘Well, then you’ll be great. Just focus on the notes and look at me if you get nervous. I’ll be in the third row with the insanely proud grin on my face, next to your daddy,’

‘You and daddy no fight,’ It wasn’t a suggestion.

‘No,’ Ruby agreed. Things had been tense with Brax again and they were pretty much back to square one; Ruby still hadn’t forgiven him for being careless and not paying attention to Jade in the ocean. They had though, come to an understanding and impassively resolved to the fact that they wouldn’t be getting along any time soon. ‘We won’t fight, promise,’

Two renditions of Hakuna Matata, a bag pipe number and a yodel later, it was Jade’s turn to perform. She stood up on the stage and felt her heart jump to her throat until she remembered to look at Ruby. With wide eyes, she glanced at Ruby; an insanely proud smile on her face as promised. Jade eased, bowed and sat at the piano.

‘Heart don’t fail me now,

Courage, don’t desert me.

Don’t turn back now that we’re here.’

With each note, Jade’s butterflies fluttered away til there was none left. Jade found that she quite enjoyed performing in front of people. She stepped it up a notch, not noticing the late comers entering through the side door.

‘People always say,

Life is full of choices.

No one ever mentions fear.’

Sergeant Watson subtly made her way to where Brax and Ruby were sitting and whispered something. Of course, Jade was too immersed in her music to notice; her fingers dancing on the keyboard.

‘Or how a road can seem so long,

Or how the world can seem so vast,

Courage, see me through,

Heart, I trust in you.’

Brax crept out with the cops quietly and stood just outside the door. Jade looked over to the third row and found her father’s seat was empty. She started to get sad but persevered through her number.

‘On this journey to the past,’

‘Mr Braxton, we’re going to have to ask you to come with us to the station with us.’ Georgie took a professional stance outside the studio, where they could hear the distant echo of Jade’s voice singing. ‘It’s about Grant Bledcoe,’

On the stage in the next room, Jade performed to the crowd, oblivious that her family was just about to be flung into chaos yet again.

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