If I Could....

[TelephotoMarigold]

Story Title:If I could....

Type of Story: One Shot

Main Characters: Aden & Nic & Belle

BTTB Rating: G

Genre: Romance/Angst/ Supernatural

Does the Story Include Spoilers? No

Any Warning: none

Summary: If Aden could stay, if Nic could give Aden more time, leaving Belle only able to watch as their lives take different paths

A/N: Lyrics taken from Wherever you will go by The Calling (

)

So lately, been wondering

Who will be there to take my place

When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face

If a great wave shall fall yeah fall upon us all

Then between the sand and stone could you make it on your own.

Aden Jeffries looked over at a sleeping Nicole, he sighed softly, and the sound of his slowly released breath was so loud in the quiet of the night. The room was haunted with the ghosts of lovers past, He turned his head taking in her profile, her beautiful face, watching the play of shadows across fall across it in a monochrome rainbow. He’d been entranced by her face since the first moment he’d ever met her, seeing past the aggressive expression to the haunting vulnerability beneath. Her blonde hair so artfully styled had shaped her face adding angles to her cheeks and shade to her brow, had lured him in like a lighthouse beacons before he’d seen her eyes. A tremble of lashes framed the sapphire high beams. She’d pinned him in those headlights and he’d known he was in trouble.

Now, back to the present and this everlasting moment he watched her some more before easing from her side and climbing out the warmth of their bed and the heat of their embrace to stand in the cold shadows looking out on the darkened world. The stars were sprinkled across the night sky, like a galactic dot-to-dot puzzle that only the gods could complete and he wondered briefly about the silver pinpricks of light. They seemed so small and insignificant in the expanse of cobalt blue. He shivered suddenly and reached to close the window.

‘Leave it open,’ a voice murmured. ‘For me.’

He gasped and stepped back from the window before spinning around seeing only Nicole in the bed. How could he look upon her face and not superimpose that of Belle, how could he gaze into her eyes and not wish for those of Belle’s to be looking back at him in some small way, because then it would mean that she wasn’t dead, she wasn’t gone from them. That was why he was leaving Summer Bay and not forsaking this beautiful woman in his bed, because Nicole Franklin certainly was beautiful, breathtakingly so. Her lips curved into a smile could stop his heart, the way her eyes sought out his and challenged him caused his blood pressure to soar. There was nothing that she couldn’t do with her life and holding him together had already taken up a year, how selfish was he to expect her to wait around for more time while he plucked up the courage to tell her he loved her. And he did. Always had in some small way.

“When I’m gone, you’ll meet someone who will love you and chase those shadows away.” He told her in a soft whisper.

She turned in the bed rolling on to her back, her hand opened in invitation as though in her sleep she knew he was leaving her. He couldn’t walk across the room and take that hand within his own no matter how much he wanted to. Taking her hand and holding it against him, warming her fingers before teasing her about her cold hand but warm heart, as if her heart could merely be described as warm, it burned with passion and love and so much more. His eyes brightened with tears he wouldn’t shed when he walked away in just a few days. He wouldn’t admit that leaving her was ripping away part of his soul. He would tell her some lie, some meaningless thing that would be a band-aid on the wound he caused her and walk away. He dismissed how much that would hurt him as he thought about how strong she was, how she would get over him, how she would move on.

He piled added distress on top of what he was feeling thinking of her moving on with someone new, someone who would hold her like he wanted to hold her, some lucky someone who would get to kiss her and make her tears fade and her smiles radiate. You couldn’t beat receiving one of her smiles, it was like seeing sunshine leaking into a cold day and banishing the gathering rain clouds. Like a flower opening to reveal it’s beauty to the world. Her smiles melted the ice that had grown around his heart and forced the blood to pump through it once more, giving him life back when his soul had wished to die with Belle.

That was why he knew she’d be strong enough to move on from him, because through everything she found that smile again.

He shivered suddenly feeling a cool breeze come through the window behind him, it floated across the covers of the bed and he saw her move restlessly. She wouldn’t understand him being here at the window looking at her instead of lying beside, or at least that it what he told himself as he closed the window and moved around the bed climbing into it next to her. He couldn’t find any excuse as to why he put his arms around her, just knew that he had to somehow cling on to her for a few more moments before someone took his place.

CHORUS:

If I could, then I would

I'd go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out

A way to make it back someday

To-wards you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days

If a great wave shall fall yeah fall upon us all

Well then I hope there's someone out there

who can bring me back to you

“That’s why I’m ending it.” Nicole said finally, her voice choked by tears, “Even now you can’t say you love me, can you?”

The accusation fell between them and he’d flinched from her question. How much of a coward was he right now? Couldn’t he even give her that? She stood and looked at him wiping away the sudden hot tears from her face she looked out on the crashing waves and the stormy sky. He was gone, left with his brother Justin this morning. The two of them leaving together, running away from here, like Summer Bay was that such a bad place to be.

She stepped down to the sea, the encroaching water soaked the hem of her dress but for once she paid no attention to her clothes. She thought for a minuscule second about stepping into the sea and letting it take her away. But she was Nicole Franklin, not some kind of quitter and she dropped down lowering her head as she gave into the pain inside. It wasn’t that he couldn’t love her, he was Aden Jefferies, and husband to Belle, so she knew there was love inside him. It was that it was the wrong time for him to love her.

As she sat there moonbeams falling on to her head like protective fingers reaching to check that she was ok, she knew why he hadn’t asked her to go with him to start a new life. He thought that he would stop her somehow of finding her own dreams, of following the path that was her life. He should have known better, she was Nicole Franklin and she would make it. Through the darkest nights she had found a way, through the deepest pain she had found strength, through the worst that could happen she had found she could turn and laugh at it. She wasn’t sure that he could do that.

Lifting her head she looked at the churning sea, deepest grey and blue swirling and mixing as the water tossed and turned and swelled and fell like it was the beating heart of the world pumping round the lifeblood of water around the green and blue planet. She sometimes came here when she was at her saddest just to cry, feeling that somehow her tears joined the flowing tidal water and served some good.

She’d thought in the first few moments after he’d gone that maybe he would come back to her someday, that maybe he would find a way to tell her the things he couldn’t. But it didn’t work that way; she had to be the strong one, guiding him out of the darkness of his inner demons to the light of happiness. She hoped that one-day to find him and perhaps to give him the freedom to move on and the strength to let go. She thought she’d given him that already but his flight from her arms proved that he needed more.

She looked at her arms now, seeing the sheen of summers kiss on her skin and the strength of her muscles.

“I’d give these to hold you in the darkest night, if I could.” She offered as she stood, her arms outstretched.

She looked down at her legs, flicking the wet material away from her legs.

“If I could, I would, go wherever you would go.” She said aloud, her voice meeting the sound of the crashing waves.

“And maybe, we’d find a way to be back somehow.” She murmured.

Turning she looked up the beach spotting figure in the distance, a second glance and the figure disappeared as though it had never been there and she blinked wearily wondering if in her grief she was actually losing her mind. The thought made her sigh once again. It was an ever-sighing Nicole looked back on to the turbulent grey-green sea before she walked slowly away.

CHORUS

If I could, then I would

I'd go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart

Run away with my hope

Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time

Belle Taylor Jeffries watched the scenes unfolding from her place in heaven, she saw the two slowly turn to each other and become lovers, watching it all with a bittersweet happiness. More so when it was Nicole that made her Aden happy again, although she loved seeing that smile on his face once more, the smile that made him look so handsome. It wasn’t the broad beaming type of smile; he very rarely did those, no this was the one that tipped up the corners of his mouth, almost a smirk and yet his eyes would shine with amusement and he looked so handsome.

Her Aden, she missed him so much, even though she looked over him and would always be there she could never hold his hand again, never kiss those lips and never, never, lie in his strong arms and feel his heart beating strongly against her cheek. The defining thump-thump beat echoing the beat of her own heart that pounded in her ears.

Belle sighed, or at least if she still breathed it would be a sigh, issuing softly from between her sad lips.

She’d watched them together on romantic dates and just the way Aden was so protective of Nicole through all the bad stuff she knew that he was falling in love with the beautiful blonde woman. How could she not be jealous of that, despite the little nudges she gave them every so often, like whispering in his ear to take that car for a joyride and encouraging Nic to tag along. Then there was the way she’d interfered between Nic and Liam, letting the girl forget she was supposed to be seeing the rock star and instead ‘guided’ Aden into being in her path. Watching as the two of them got soaked when some kids ran past with those big cannon like water guns.

She’d needed some divine help with that little project. She wondered if Aden knew he had Angels looking after him and what would he say? He was still somehow her wonderful, cranky, unbelieving Aden.

Then she was forced to watch him climb into the car with his brother, driving away from Nic, turning his back on everyone who’d helped him and the familiarity of Summer Bay. She’d so badly wanted to go to him then, somehow guide him back to Nicole, no matter how much that hurt her to see them together but it was Nicole that needed her then and she, well she was grounded into remaining in Summer Bay. She’d seen the other girl try so hard not to cry again and had gone to seek out Ruby, whispering in her ear that she should go to the Caravan Park and be with her friend.

Maybe that was why she’d put so much effort into getting Aden and Nicole together, so that she could look over them always, selfishly keeping Aden where she could see him every day. Where she could look in and make sure he was ok. And then maybe one day she would see his children grow and watch him be happy. She’d give anything to know that he was going to be ok.

But now he was gone, he’d runaway. Oh her wonderful Aden wouldn’t see it like that but she knew him and knew that he’d gotten scared of how much he was feeling for Nicole and had closed down inside. Given time she was sure that they would have moved past this and got back together, however hard it was that some other woman was holding the man who had her heart.

So here she was, acting now as Nicole’s guardian angel (and wasn’t that strange?), knowing that wherever Aden Jeffries had gone, he still held her heart and the hope that one day he’d be happy and loved.

CHORUS

If I could, then I would

I'd go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time

I'd go wherever you will go

If I could make you mine

I'd go wherever you will go

I'd go wherever you will go

Comments