Terminated?

[HighwayUnicorn]

Story Title: Terminated?

Type of Story: One Shot

Main Character: Ruby

BTTB Rating: T/A

Genre: Drama

Does the Story Include Spoilers? None

Any Warning: Abortion

Summary: When Casey leaves Ruby to deal with a life changing event on her own, how does she cope?

A/N: Although not graphic, this story contains references to abortion & therefore may be upsetting or distressing for some readers.

I advise you to reconisder reading this if you are sensitive or may be affected by this story as I will not be held responsible for any implications this may cause.

TERMINATED?

I stand at the reception area as the woman hands me a clipboard, with various sheets of coloured paper attached to it. She tells me to read through it, the information there being something I need to know. She leaves me to comprehend the wording, understand the meaning of what I am about to do. I flick through the sheets of paper, which has small print, a seemingly never ending consent form.

After a few moments of skim reading the booklet, I reach the final page. I date it with today’s date and sign on the dotted line.

The receptionist nods at me. There is no apparent emotion in her eyes, in fact, she barely looks at me as she countersigns my own signature and takes the clipboard from me. I ask how long I will be waiting for, and how long the consultation will be with the doctor. She replies, giving me a vague answer where timing is concerned, before she tells me to take a seat.

I take a seat, placing my bag on the chair beside me. I observe my surroundings as I sit on the grey plastic chair, the chemicals drowning me as they strongly scent the atmosphere. The disinfectant and cleaning products seem to collide with each in the air, the surgery clean, sterilised. Everything is so clinical, the white painted walls, the grey tiled flooring, it’s immaculate, fresh and hygienic. Yet, it feels like such a dirty, secretive place, as though people should be ashamed to attend, an embarrassment.

Other people sit around the waiting room, mostly in silence. There’s some chatter emitting from couples as they sit around waiting their turn. One young male is comforting his girlfriend, I assume, as he takes her hand in his own and they interlock their fingers. An older woman is sat alone, just like me. The anticipation builds for her as she drums her fingers on the chair beside her.

I sit alone, and twiddle my thumbs nervously, occasionally lifting my hands to my mouth and biting down on my nails in an attempt to calm my nerves, an unsuccessful attempt, however.

I close my eyes, recalling the events that bring me here today, to face this on my own, the reason I am now in this predicament, with nobody beside me.

FLASHBACK

Meet me at my place in ten? R x

Within five minutes, Casey came through the front door, throwing his bag to the ground and wrapping his arms around my waist as we sat on the sofa together.

“This is all a bit sneaky isn’t it?” he murmurs softly.

“Casey, we need to talk” I blurt out. There was no easy way to tell him, but I had to get it over and done with.

“Erm, okay” he replies, very confusedly. He was sure those were the words he didn’t want to hear. “Does this mean we’re breaking up?” he suddenly asks.

My head shoots up. “What? Why would you say such a thing?”

“Because usually, ‘we need to talk’ is another way of saying, we’re going to break up.”

I shake my head. “Of course we’re not breaking up. Well, at least I don’t think so” I quickly add.

“So, what then?” Casey asks.

“Casey” I begin, before the rest of the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could prevent it from happening. “I think I’m pregnant.”

His mouth falls open. It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. I had expected him to jump up and run away from me and never come back.

“Have you done a test?” he asks.

I shake my head once again.

“Then we need to” he adds, “just to be safe.”

He was so wise and fed me the words I wanted to hear.

“Whatever the result though Rubes, I’m going to stay with you forever. Okay?” he adds.

I nod. A few tears sting my eyes but I prevented them from falling.

Within an hour, Casey had gone to the chemist and returned, carrying back five different pregnancy tests.

We head to the bathroom together, hand in hand.

It takes a while before I can urinate enough to try all five tests, Casey constantly heading back and forth to the kitchen to fetch me glasses of water. But eventually, I do it.

We look at all five of them, all five of them showing the same result.

“Maybe they’re wrong?” Casey suggests.

“All of them?” I raise my eyebrow.

I suppose I don’t know how I feel. How will Charlie going to react? And Brax? How long can we keep it a secret?

“I don’t know Ruby, I’ve never had to do this kind of thing before, okay” Casey says, standing up and running a hand through his hair.

“And you think I have?” I ask. There’s the mention of my reputation again.

“I’m not saying that Rubes. What I’m saying is that you’re a girl and should be prepared for this kind of thing.”

“Yeah, because you were so prepared when we made it to my bedroom” I don’t hold back.

“You told me you were on the pill” Casey tries to cover his tracks.

“It takes two to tango, Case, and anyway, being on the pill doesn’t mean this can’t happen.”

“Well how ineffective is it? Because we’re bloody unlucky for it to happen to us!” he raises his voice.

“Don’t shout at me” I begin to yell before quickly calming down again. “So what are we going to do?” I ask.

Casey shrugs. “Whatever you want. It’s your body, it’s up to you” he tells her, clearly not bothered.

Tears flow down my cheeks. “Do you want to be a dad?” I ask.

I hide the disappointment when Casey shakes his head. “No” he tells me.

“Well then, we have our answer” I tell him. “Now we need to make an appointment at the clinic.”

“We?” Casey questions. “Who said anything about, ‘we’? I don’t want any part in this.”

“Keep it and I’ll be here for you Ruby but this isn’t going to work. Get rid and it’s not going to work.”

“I don’t understand” I tell him. I do but I am fearful, not wanting to know the truth.

“If you keep it, we can’t be together but I want a part in my child’s life” he tells me confidently.

I wonder for a few moments, thinking about what life could be like. Images run through my mind, the child growing up, being passed from parent to parent and then future relationships being jeopardised by baggage. That’s what the child would be; baggage.

I feel guilty for thinking like that, but I cannot bring a child into this world on those terms and conditions. Instead, terminating it will be best, I decide and before long, one look is all it takes between me and Casey and he exits, knowing what I am going to do.

END FLASHBACK

I raise my head as a young woman exits the large, white double doors, tears streaming down her cheeks as she clutches her stomach, quickly heading towards a tall, dark haired man, gratefully falling into his embrace as he cradles her fragile frame. She mutters something inaudible to him, as she cried into his chest and they exit the building together.

I pull out my mobile phone, secretly, as I read the sign on the wall that requests mobile phones should be switched off. There are no messages, no words of regret from Casey. I place it back into my bag, switching it off before looking around once again.

I read the posters on the boards, sarcastic comments bonding together in my head as there are leaflets advising how to prevent pregnancy. Surely they should be provided beforehand? As quickly as I find the comment funny, it dawns on me that out of mine and Casey’s own stupidity, we produced a baby together. We didn’t take the precautions to prevent it.

I never wanted to or planned to find myself in this position but night after night of passion, we didn’t even consider contraception. And so it had come to this.

The anticipation builds and I look at the walls, covered in brightly coloured posters, yet, I don’t take in the words or pictures. Instead, my eyes skim past them, from wall to wall, poster to poster as I shake my leg up and down, a nervous habit I seem to have developed.

Another young woman nervously shuffles along the corridor, having already exited the double doors. Instead of heading towards someone, collapsing in somebody’s arms, she shakily places her hand on the water dispenser and reaches for a plastic cup. She takes a sip of water, tears streaming down her face. There are sniffles, but no words emit from her mouth as she continues to gently sip the water.

My chest begins to tighten as I panic, more terrified than I was before. I consider running out of the doors behind me, as I turn my head around to the side and plan my escape route.

“BUCKTON, RUBY” My name is called and it’s too late to back out now.

I made my decision when Casey left me.

I follow the nurse down the corridor, creating reasons in my mind and condoning what I was doing.

This baby wouldn’t be loved, it would be hated.

It would have two parents who argue all the time. Or maybe only one parent, who knows?

It was an accident and I didn’t want it.

It would be baggage and get in the way of other relationships I could possibly have.

I try to prevent myself from reconsidering as I remembered the times I was taken to the swing park as a child, having days out and my heart melts as I imagine myself pushing my own child on the swing, feeding the ducks and taking regular trips to the park and to the beach.

But saying that, I was Ross’s daughter during those times anyway, and he was older and much wiser. Me? I’m sixteen. I’m not old enough to have a baby. How do I support it?

Once again, I condone my decision.

We eventually come to the end of the corridor and the nurse turns to face me. She offers me a supportive smile and gestures with her hand for me to enter the room.

I sit at the chair in front of the desk, facing a young male doctor who is reading from the computer. He looks up, occasionally looking at what I assume are my medical records as he holds a polite conversation with me. He provides me with the counselling session before I go ahead with the procedure.

I nod, smile occasionally and pretend I understand when really, I have no clue what he is talking about. He mentions medical terms, aftercare and how I need help to be able to regain back my life.

I switch off, until he then talks about what is going to happen.

The nurse, who was standing in the corner of the room, takes a plastic cup and fills it with water, before placing it in front of me on the wooden, oak desk.

The young male doctor reaches for the pill which he says will end the pregnancy.

Maybe that’s meant to make it easier and ease my guilt and pain; end the pregnancy and opposed to ending the life of my unborn baby.

The moment has come now and I can’t back out. I think of Casey, but he abandoned me. Why should I burden the guilt? Why should I have to deal with this mess? Because that’s what it is; a mess.

I take the pill and place it in my hand. I observe it, my heart pounds within my chest, before I slowly put it to my lips. I place it on my tongue, before reaching for the water and swallowing.

A/N: I APPRECIATE THAT EVERYBODY HAS THIER OWN OPINION ON THE THEME ABOVE AND ARE FREELY ENTITLED TO IT. YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO EXPRESS THEM ON THIS THREAD AND DISCUSS IT, RELATING TO THE STORYLINE BUT I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY JUDGING ANYONE ELSE ON OTHER OPINIONS, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU AGREE. I DO NOT WANT ANY ARGUMENTS ON THIS THREAD. THANK YOU.

COMMENTS