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Summer Bay High (by Skykat) - comments


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Its a good combo.... they have a spark there...some personality traits in common.... a bit like Aden and Belle in a way... I like them. :D

I enjoyed little Irene at school.. bet she was a real handful too... I like that Barry is able to be the shoulder .... and think he does too.

I'm curious as to how Dani and Will evolve.... she was such a diva.... and he was so cocky from what I remember of him.... a bit dim too as I recall :P

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The reflections on Irene's childhood were very effective, and certainly fit well with the Irene we know and love. I liked how you described her making her statement to stuck up teachers, as it is pretty much the sort of thing she would do today , perhaps not in the same way, but she takes no truck. Also Barry did say once that he liked being her shoulder if I remember correctly so its a good thing that he gets the chance now and again. I am interested to see what you are going to do with them now that she knows his dark secret. My only criticism is that the dialogue at the end where Irene describes how her family died seemed a bit labored for Irene, the words don't quite seem to fit with her, although they obviously describe the events

Dani is as self absorbed as ever, and you have captured that very well.

Martha and Kane was an excellent idea, so well done there. Its a combination which has worked well for you so far. You have caught Martha's know it all stubbornness, as well as that soft spot she keeps hidden, as well as Kane's complexities and his vulnerability. I don't think that's easy to do and you have done it very well. Martha's Prisoner relative(S) was a nice touch and made me smile :D - I remember Geoff Butler too - and I am sure there are several other Summer Bay residents who were Wentworth inmates.

I am, as always, looking forward to the next chapter.

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My only criticism is that the dialogue at the end where Irene describes how her family died seemed a bit labored for Irene, the words don't quite seem to fit with her, although they obviously describe the events

I forgot Irene hadn't actually told Barry what happened! :rolleyes: I meant to put some of that in but got sidetracked (and, okay, lazy! :P ) Next chapter I'll try and work on a flashback scene of what happened with Irene that day together with some Irene/Barry dialogue/consoling - tho I'm not sure how long it'll take, I only ended up with about 15 mins writing time today and watching Big Brother all the time isn't helping... :rolleyes:

(Sorry about posting in my own thread again but your personal messenger is disabled.)

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That was beautiful in a heartbreaking way. You really know how to make me cry. I felt every bit of it. Well done.

I'm glad one person liked it anyway! :P I'm hoping to write about Cassie next chapter, plus I'm kind of getting a Kim/Megan scene in my head. I think I should maybe write a synopsis before each chapter, for my sake as much as anyone else's. I keep forgetting what I've written before! :rolleyes:

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I enjoyed that, I nearly missed it as there seem to be so many new ones this last week.

I like how you manage to describe the despair and loneliness, and how the nurses house was so real and fun sounding. I could hear the screams. It felt very real as if that was the first time it had all been told in total to someone. The exhaustion at the end was also just as real, and he didn't need to say anything then either. It was very good. Powerful, hard hitting and well written.

I like the sound of Cassie, and Kim and Megan.

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That was beautiful in a heartbreaking way. You really know how to make me cry. I felt every bit of it. Well done.

I'm glad one person liked it anyway! :P I'm hoping to write about Cassie next chapter, plus I'm kind of getting a Kim/Megan scene in my head. I think I should maybe write a synopsis before each chapter, for my sake as much as anyone else's. I keep forgetting what I've written before! :rolleyes:

Try not to worry about the number of replies. At the risk of sounding a bit patronizing, which I hope that I don't, you don't strike me as the sort of person who would appreciate a lot of those "Oh that was so cool please update" or "amazing please post again soon" type posts. I think you have a lot of regular readers, and as you write very maturely, maybe those sort of "wow - please post again soon" posts would be a bit out of place perhaps. Its a theory :P

However, I do enjoy your writing very much, and thought this was an insightful piece. I particularly liked how you highlighted the independent streak in Irene which we all know so well, and the reference to silent tears was very poignant. Its what so many people do to hide their despair and pain and which so many others fail to recognize. The whole episode and the pain of it was powerfully captured. Barry didn't need to say much, and that was effective, he just needed to be there.

I am going to have to go back and re read to remind myself who Megan is :P The next installments sound intriguing. Kim and Cassie are fascinating characters.

I shall be watching out for it and will be reading with interest. :D

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Irene was great, her backstory was never really explored on the show, its great to see it explored with so much depth ILM. I'm in work so I can't really be on here too long but I realised I'd let the new chapter slip off the top page without replying so I thought I';d just bump this up to its rightful place on the top page. :)

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