kase Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 With Kat's idea's and ILM's writing, this fic is produced with one of the best duos round ;) Don't sell yourself short though Kat, I have always loved this even when you were writing it. You're a great writing. But I understand losing motivation and it's great that ILM can continue it, especially because you write characters with so much depth! Poor poor Kimmy. And to think we all thought he was just a love sick puppy. Poor guy, having to put up with Barry's lack of respect. I loved this paragraph: Blond hair, blue eyes, muscles, fit, he was gorgeous - and a good, considerate lover too, Gypsy told him afterwards, slithering her naked body on top of him, making him think he would die of happiness. She leaned over him, smiling, her elbow propped up on the pillow to rest her chin, her beautiful tousled red hair falling down and tickling his face. “You’re not a boy anymore,” she drawled, drawing imaginary circles on his chest with her finger. Such a sexy, procative image of Gypsy telling Kim what he has always wanted to hear, making him feel worthy. And Gypsy and Jack! What a surprise. I'm really enjoying this "item". I'm really torn between them and Gypsy with Will. I'm just loving their need for comfort in each other's arms. “Deal!” Jack echoed, kissing her forehead and holding her tight. The rain had finally ceased and as the grey clouds slid sulkily away towards the sea more and more stars began to dance and twinkle through the darkness. They watched them together, dreaming dreams, warm in each other’s arms. Aww! That's all I can say about the finish! Can't wait for more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 Thanks for your lovely reviews, Kat and I have more ideas for this fic, it's just trying to find time to write inbetween work and everything else - flat still not sorted. But, don't worry, there are scenes playing out in out minds that just haven't hit paper yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Thanks for your lovely reviews, Kat and I have more ideas for this fic, it's just trying to find time to write inbetween work and everything else - flat still not sorted. But, don't worry, there are scenes playing out in out minds that just haven't hit paper yet... But they've begun to hit paper (working on the final scene in this chapter). Going to bed now and working O/T Sat but there'll be an update some time over the bank holiday weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 50 hits + no comments = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skykat Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 I've been away hence why not replying to your PM. You did that so well. I loved the small snippets into different characters, the format really worked. I have to start with the Hayley / Cassie thing and Cassie in general actually because it was so well done. I really felt for poor Cassie and Hayley... I thought there was sympathy there but then she twists it to her own advantage. I knew it was going to happen but still it was really effective. The Martha/ Gypsy water moment.. you got into both those characters really well, I feel so sorry for Gypsy but I feel for Martha too, such a sucky situation. I loved the characters, your own creations watching from the efges and seeing things from their point of view. I'm remembering now just why I hated Rhys Sutherland so much, grr. A really well done scene though. Its the little things, the attention to detail, the Shelley bits, the twins. Thats the sort of stuff that marks a great writer. I really loved what you did for this chapter and Martha collapsing was a shocker, even though I know what happens next I can't wait to see how you make it play out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kase Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 Aww sorry about the lack of comment ILM! I really hope it doesn't put you off writing because that chapter was so amazing!! The opening scene was so emotive and powerful. The destruction happening inside Cassie is so intense, she is just so broken at the moment I don't know how she can get better. And for couples and lovers, but not for Cassie, there were moonlight shadows and stars sparkling like diamonds, there were moonlight shadows to carry home dreams. And that was a beautiful line that just enhanced the mood. That was an unexpectant ending when Hayley decided to reveal what happened with Kane. To her own interests of course, not to Cassie's. I wonder what Cassie's reaction will be that someone who she sees as "perfect" has been in the same position. It was a god revelation that Hayley managed to get away from Kane too. Martha - brilliant! Even better - Drunk Martha! That was hilarious, so absolutely random when she passed out but it was great! The image of Gypsy just sitting alone, wet was so sad though. I'm torn between Martha/Jack, Jack/Gypsy, and Will/Gypsy!! And last but not least, the introduction of the Sutherland family was interesting. I'm a bit over them because of their massive screentime but I'm really liking this overprotectiveness. Poor Will though with his freudian slip!! Sorry about the late review. I hope you do find the motivation to keep writing ILM. And hopefully everyone who has read and loves this fic will comment lots and lots!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thanks for your review, Kase. Have major computer problems so haven't been able to go on thenet (apart from briefly at work tho I'm not allowed to log in there) so I haven't been able to do any writing. I'm using a relative's PC at the moment but can't stay online for long. Hope to get back to SBH when my PC's fixed - which could maybe be another week yet - but DO feel more inclined to write now I finally have some more feedback! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 OMG u sooo should keep writing coz your really good and esp loved the chapter!!!! Awww update FAST!!!!LoLZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kase Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 (edited) Yaaaay an update! And a great one too ILM! I loved it! I have to be quick and will review properly when I get the chance but just a few quick things. And indeed I have, a more descriptive review: I loved the beginning- you set up the scene so perfectly. Your descriptions of the institution were amazing, i was blown away by your writing. It was terrific to have an insight into Kane's mind (despite some disturbing views he has). He liked the solitude and the night. Knowing she would be free for a little while from the demons of her mind, cloaked in the quiet warmth of sleep. What a beautiful line! Such an insight into Kane's character. Pretty intense for him, seeing as he'd rather be portrayed as a pervet than admit how he feels about his mother. She liked music. When he was very small, she would sometimes break off from some chore and singing along to the radio pull him and Scotty into a dance. And then one day his father had arrived home unexpectedly, smashed the radio against the wall, and beaten her to a pulp while he and Scott trembled under the kitchen table. There was no more dancing after that. That was intense. There was a rumour Holden planned to get it on with every girl in their year. He’d seen him getting up close and personal with Gypsy Nash tonight and admired him for it. He’d made out with Gypsy himself and it was to be highly recommended. Once again, you really allow the reader to just see into the characters. Girls are objects to Kane, to test and experiment with. The Gypsy/Kit friendshop rocks, I remember loving them towards the beginning. Two of my favourite feisty chicks teaming up against Queen Bitch. And Kit & Noah? = more! more! more! I continue to love the Cassie/Martha friendship, and am still confused about Hayley's motives. She's a terrible person but is clearly shaken by Kane's advances - you'd think she'd cut Cassie some slack! God, it was like dealing with a child and anyway it annoyed her, the way Cassie and Martha always sprang to each other’s defence. Something revealing there? I think Hayley is becoming jealous and afraid the two may prefer each other than her. And that was a big surprise when Kane picked Martha, wonder what her reaction will be. All in all, well done on a fantastic update ILM! PS In return for all this flattery please put in a fluffy Noah/Kit moment somewhere in the next few chapters? Edited October 12, 2007 by kase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princess.sparkle Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 (edited) I've just read this all the way through and I've got to say I absolutely love it! Your characterisation is brilliant and incredibly in depth. I love Gypsy and her and Kit's friendship in the 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' way is great. Please, please, please get Gypsy and Will back together! Looking forward to the next installment- please make it soon Edited October 13, 2007 by princess.sparkle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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