sevenpuddings Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 (edited) And its back *jumps around happily* As per usual is was an amazing chapter. The dialogue was spot on, the description was stunning, and overall I really consider the two of you to be the best writers on this board. I shall write a more lengthy review when I return from my exam, but I just wanted you guys to know how awesome it is to be able to read this story once again! Edit: Okay. You guys write Cassie perfectly. Her insecurities mixed with her self doubt and her belief of what will make her popular is just AMAZING. I LOVE the comparisson between Kane and her uncle, and I love that its still in the back of her mind, because as far as I'm concerned it was not handled well at all on the show. She OWNED this chapter, I do believe. And just, guh, everything about her situation was perfect. Cassie caught her reflection in the moonlit mirror. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Shoulders too thin, hair too greasy, tears streaking down her cheeks. “It’s what you deserve,” she whispered. That just about broke my heart. Her character is so much more vulnerable and likeable than Hayley, although Hayley's character development in this chapter was amazing too. But I'm just connecting with Cassie so much. Perhaps its because I'm attracted to the darker angstier characters, but thats about the only thing I could pinpoint. Her constant self doubt is written perfectly too, not like shes one of those kids who always say things while fishing for compliments, but sometimes more. You give her such conviction, that I can't help but wonder whether there will come a time when she almost wants to end it...? Onto to other characters. I liked Hayley's development once more. She still is selfish and concieted, but man are her hidden flaws beginning to show. The imagery used when she was remembering ghosts... wow, just wow. It was actually like I was there, with Hayley. Once more I'm finding myself intrigued by this complex individual, and I cannot wait to see where you take her character. Finally, as for Martha... *sighs* I don't know how you do it, but in this story I actually enjoy reading her character. Shes got a bit of bite, and god I hope you develop that storyline more. She was only there for a snippit, but I love the vibe she gives of when her friendship with Cassie is questioned, its simply the best friendship within stories going around. And then when she promised to get herself smashed, I was cheerin. Nothing like a good drunken night to get yourself back on the horse. Aherm, now that its back, no pressure or anything, but I hope you guys shall update. And more importantly, I hope the fan base for this story grows, because its such an unique concept that meshes so well together and guh, I cannot sing enough praises for the two of you!! Edited June 25, 2007 by sevenpuddings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kase Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 (edited) *jumps around with Jess* Yaaayy! Thanks for the most brilliant update. I have really really missed this fic. Oh, we most definitely are still reading Kat And well done ILM, once again it was perfect. Gosh, how good was the character development? The insight into Hayley's mind actually let me feel sympathetic towards her, and understand why she is such a bitch even after what Kane did. Maybe because, if they existed, they would feel exactly how she had felt ever since she’d been five years old and their new parents had taken in Will, Nick and herself. On the outside, looking in. I love that last line, and love how it connected to Cassie later on. That while they are both on different sides, they are in the same position. It explains how Hayley can be so self-assured as Queen Bee, it's the only time she can be on the inside. Poor Cassie is all I could think. The poor girl has been through so much already and instead of the support she has had on the show, she is portrayed as Crazy Cassie in this fic. I enjoyed reading it from Hayley and Kane's point of view of how she was so unpredictable and weird instead of from Cassie's memory. ILM you did a great job there, letting the reader understand what was going on without having to spell it out, or having Cassie try to defend herself, or even be aware that that was how people saw her. I love the friendship facade between Cassie, Hayley, and Martha. It is so deep on so many levels. It's good to see Martha becoming angrier and realising she is better. But, to Martha’s bewilderment, her voice tapered off and quavered before it even reached the end of the question. She looked up curiously. Her friend looked unusually pale. And in her eyes there was a strange aloneness that Martha had never seen before. She forgot about lame excuses and Hayley’s natural bitchiness. Her heart lurched in sympathy. Though this does show that beneath the bitchiness and pettiness, there is genuine concern there. There are just so many subtle hints and directions in your writing ILM, where you don't need to spell out anything yet it just all makes perfect sense. Hayley had a good point when she remarked that Gypsy’s olds should have named her Martini (any time, any place, anywhere). HA! That was a classic It's really great to see this one back. I look forward to reading more. Sorry if this review was a bit rambly and not much sense Edited June 25, 2007 by kase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 Thanks for your very flattering reviews. Kat is responsible for the development of Martha, she wanted her to be really feisty as we have plans for her... We also wanted to make Cassie much more realistic (H&A seems to have victims of violence and sexual abuse recover unnaturally quickly) and part of that is Cassie hasn't told anyone at SBH what happened with her uncle as, like many victims, she very, very wrongly feels she might be partly to blame. Poor Cass. Things aren't going to be easy for her... Hayley...well, she's a loose cannon, I don't think either of us know just how much she's capable of... yet... I love the way Kat has developed Jack's character over the chapters and explained his behaviour and her description of the "innocent Greek God" Kim and the insecurities of Gypsy... Hmm, glad I got an invite to this party! *goes off to get some more wine* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skykat Posted June 26, 2007 Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 ^^^^^^^^^ You need to ignore her. I refuse to take any of the credit for this because this chapter was solely ILM's work. I had nothing at all to do with it. I might have mentioned a few ideas but I'm not the one who gets inside the characters heads. I deal with the bitchiness and the dialogue, ILM makes the characters real, flawed and the description is awesome so she deserves full praise for this chapter. So having said that, I'm going to review it. Seriously I was having doubts about what we were ging to have Kane do because I really don't want him to come across as the bad guy but at the same time we have to feel sorry for Cassie and Hayley and boy did you achieve that. I could see why Kane did what he did, he got mixed signals from Cassie after having been messed around by Hayley and just because we saw inside Cassie's head doesn't mean that Kane did. Therefore I refuse to see him as the bad guy. That said poor Cassie. Her vulnerability was awesome. Cassie in this story is not at all my development, shes completely yours. You are responsible for Adam Kerr and the 'Crazy Cassie' stuff. You're the one who got inside that messed up, abused mind and found a really vulnerable, really lost, devastated little girl just crying out to be loved. It was heartbreaking to witness but completely compelling, I really felt like I lived through that whole nightmare with her. I've seen you write some amazing stuff but I really felt you took this scene to a whole new level. Hayley: God I love to hate her. I love how she just can't accept help, I was crying out for her to accept Martha's olive branch but I completely buy why she didn't. She's another little child lost and your insight into her upbringing really explains the monster I envisioned in chapter one. I'm okay with the characters interactions with each others but I'm not so good with back storys and reasons why, I guess that's why having this fic as a combination works. Your skill with description is awesome, I can't fault a single thing about this story. To be honest I'd kind of got disheartened by this. It was starting to get to me, I felt like people couldn't appreciate the story because of the way the ships were being split. I was also disappointed that ILM's writing which I honestly believe is amongst if not the best on the board, wasn't getting the credit it deserved. I've decided though that I don't care. I have lots of ideas in my head, if at least some people are willing to keep reading, I'll keep on trying to write and ILM will hopefully keep helping. So thanks for the awesome reviews guys, they mean a lot more than you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vale4eva Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Oh boy did I have alot to catch up on Great few chapters you two Its kind of late so ill only comment briefly. I feel really bad for Gypsy now, shes got that label attached to her and she'll probably never shake that off. And like Jack suggested, its always worse for the girl unlike the guy who everyone thinks is cool for sleeping around so much Anyhoo, excellent chapter, great descriptions. I think your chapters have to be the longest ones in the history of HnA fanfiction Looking forward to more Theres a HUGE spider in my room and my dads gone to bed! HELP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted July 29, 2007 Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Oh boy did I have alot to catch up on Great few chapters you two Its kind of late so ill only comment briefly. I feel really bad for Gypsy now, shes got that label attached to her and she'll probably never shake that off. And like Jack suggested, its always worse for the girl unlike the guy who everyone thinks is cool for sleeping around so much Anyhoo, excellent chapter, great descriptions. I think your chapters have to be the longest ones in the history of HnA fanfiction Looking forward to more Theres a HUGE spider in my room and my dads gone to bed! HELP! It was actually longer! but we moved a Dani/Will scene forward to keep in hand for the next chapter. I was going to work on a Cassie scene and a Martha scene too but decided this chapter was already long enough... Thanks for your nice comments. Hope the spider left! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vale4eva Posted July 29, 2007 Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 ^^ You no, chapters can never be too long though Long ones are the best ones! And yes, the spider has now gone thankfully. I put it under my bin until my dad removed it this morning Looking forward to the next update Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kase Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 That was fantastic ILM. It really showed Kim in a completely new light. I really love what's developing between Jack and Gypsy, not that I think they should be together but they are being honest with each other. I think it is a great relationship and I can see it developing into something strong, even if they end up not a couple anymore. This is really brief, I'll review properly but I can't stay long (I spent a lot of time reading this looooooong chapter ) Fantastic. And GREAT ideas Kat! You two make a brilliant team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skykat Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 I wanted to post to say that ILM has officially taken over this story now. I had neither the time nor the inclination unfortunately and luckily she has the enthusiasm and shares my vision on where the characters and pairings can go. Plus she writes it better than me. So on that note.. awesome chapter. I especially loved the Gypsy/ Jack stuff... cuteness, they're so good together. Poor Kim, I love how you bring such depth to the characters, great writing. Sorry I'm too tired for a long review but you already know what I think anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Just caught up! The Cassie chapter was awesome. I liked the detail that you wrote in there about how she was feeling; especially with the stuff about her and her uncle and how it kind of related to the situation with Kane. I don't usually like Cassie, but I really felt for her in that chapter. Loved the Kim/Barry segment as well. How awkward for Kim to have Irene explain something about his Dad that he should've known. Great two chapters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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