Summer Bay High (by Skykat) - comments

[kayla]

OMG that chapter was AMAZING!!! and all hayley really wanted was to beloved! lol... the "new" parents were kinda horible to not wake her up. it made me pity hayley!!

this is my fave fic and m so glad u updated, and hopefully there will be another one SOON!! lol

[shortie_689]

I am really glad that this fic was updated!!!

I can honestly say I totally relate to the way that Hayley felt throughout her childhood!!! GREAT WORK!!!

I can't wait to see where you guys go with this next!!!

Please update soon!!!

[SfanS]

What an AWESOME chapter!!

*ryubs hands together* Get ready for a review, Sarah style. Okay, that was lame.

Gypsy, she destroys everything she touches. She’s bad news, trust me. Chews you up and spits you out

Well, that was a GREAT description. the chewing / spitting out left me with horrible mental pictures though!

The whole New Mum/new dad thing made me feel sorry for hayley. it made me want to cry. So there IS a reason she's a female dog!

I'm going to do thisn characters now, because I can't randomly choose.

Gypsy: Well, I wasn't around for the whole Gypsy thing, and If I was I wouldn't have understood it. She's the queen I-want-every-guy, okay, slu*, and you're describing it really well. You're putting into a storyline that sounds like Home and Away, but also sounds like reality. I'm enjoying reading about her character. The writers could learn a lesson or two from you, Kat.

Will: He's torn, isn't he? He wants Gypsy when he sees her, but he knows she's bad...he wants to be chewed, but at the same time doesn't want to be spit out. And he covers his feelings up with Dani. It's the perfect plan...

Will shut his eyes to block out the picture but they were quickly replaced with other pictures. Pictures of Gypsy, her tanned, toned body straddling him. Her eager, soft hands on his chest, undoing his buttons. Her slightest touch electrifying him to the point where he would have done anything for her. Her soft, warm kisses making him want more, and more.

Gypsy seems to be a drug. And Kim/Jack/Will are drug dealers. Hayley/Martha/Dani are the angry councellors. That was a good description. Poor Will.

To kiss those lips, run his finger through her long red hair.

Red hair? Where the hell had that come from?

That was clever. I laughed when I read it!

Now Kim:

He;s a bit sad, IMO. I don't liuke him in this fic, I don't like him...ever!

Kim was safe. Kim had the looks of a Greek God but the confidence of small child.

Now THAT was good.

I also couldn't help laughing at the 'Kim was safe' SURE he is, Will, SURE he is....

Cassie: The way you're describing her in here is perfect. It's like, behind that thick orange skin there's a side of her you're bringing out. Shes new to town, with not the highest self esteem.

“Hayley! How did it go? What did Kane say? Does he like me?”

Bit desperate, aren't we? I have to say, I would have never even thought of Cass wanting Kane. That's the good thing about you kat, you thing up imaginative storylines, but yet they seem sane. And they're original! I love it!

Martha: Cady Herin....Mean girls. She doesn't want to follow Hayley, but at the same time, she really does. Is this going to end with Hayley being hit by a bus by any chance? I hope so.

Dani: Dani, Dani, Dani. She's a complex person. I thought before 'she's there. Will follows her, she doesn't do much else' but then when I came across this line:

So Gypsy thought she had won, did she? Obviously she didn’t know Dani Sutherland. Dani NEVER lost out on a guy she wanted. Not ever. And she wasn’t about to do so now.

I realised she will be joining the war. At least she's not an idiot. I mean, you're not making her blind and going 'oh, she doesn't know Will loves Gypsy'. And with what you're doing, it makes it all the more complex.

Kit: I'm glad Noah cares for her and not hayley.

As she approached the bathroom, Kit heard the unmistakable sound of somebody vomiting. She grinned to herself. Obviously Princess Hayley had had too much to drink. Oh, how the mighty had fallen! And she was about to fall even further. Kit heard the toilet flush and sounds of movement so she acted quickly, placing the key in the lock and turning it.

Revenge. Aggg, revenge. I KNEW Kit wouldn't just let Hayley get away with it.

“Not nice is it, being locked inside a bathroom? No way of escaping and all those sharp objects around, scissors, razor blades. It could drive a person to distraction, so much so that they might do something very stupid…”

That is an AWESOME line.

Hayley:

Well, It's nice for her to be the B!t**

There's one everywhere. There's a little b!t** on all of us, Hayley's just more upfront about it!

Has anyone told you that you're really good at describing things? Coz you are! Take THIS paragraph, for example:

Hayley staggered away, sobbing in huge, frightened gulps, running clumsily back towards the Beach House. It had begun to rain. Light, rhythmic summer rain, that would have been pretty and sounded almost musical by day, by night sounding dismal and tinging everywhere with a cold, lonely greyness. Low cloud had smothered the sky, blotting out the stars and leaving a forsaken moon to find its own brief moments of brightness when and where it could. The air was tainted. The breeze in her hair, the sigh of the trees, the rush of the sea, they were nothing more than mocking whispers. All she wanted was to run forever. All she wanted was to be rid of him.

That was a great description.

Hayley looked back at her toys and a silent tear splashed down on Freddie Teddy. She wondered why no one had woken her.

Memories.

Kit locking her in the bathroom. Kit and Noah pashing. Kane Phillips pinning her against the tree and making her feel like...like something that had been put out with the rubbish. A surge of white hot anger flooded through her. He would pay. And that slag Kit Hunter would pay too. And Gypsy “town bike” Nash. The whole bloody world would pay! Freddie Teddy belonged to the past. She didn’t need him anymore. She didn’t need anyone.

Hayley scratched her carefully polished and manicured fingernails into the teddy bear’s face and felt a strange satisfaction as she plucked out its eyes...

I hear a mental breakdown coming on...

She's going to get more evil, isn't she? But those last bits were really well done, Kat. You and ILM are teaming together and creating a work of art. Together, you're writing is unstoppable!

This fic has everything a good fic needs. The twists are perfect. The storylines are well done and sound like they've been fixed and thought out really well. The characters work. These haven't all been put all together before, but it sounds exactly like a real H&A storyline, and like they're all present characters. it's hard for most writers to do that.

These characters, in the show, we don't go as far into them as you're going. You can see past that layer of what we see on our television screen, and put it down on...um...paper (?) to go deeper than we're actually shown about them.

Also, that stuff about Nick/Will/Hayley's past was tear-jerking. I don't cry oin a lot of things. I didn't cry, but i thought I was going to. An ordinary person would be told to write that and struggle, and not as many people would be as saddened, because the way you wrote it was so...touching.

A very long review, and it took me a long time...but whatever!

[SfanS]

OMG can someone else comment on this chapter and say what you did or didn't like about it? I know Kat was happy with my Hayley childhood input, but I think most people prefer reading about the scandals at the party. There've been loads of hits but only 3 reviews so far -and I'm worried I spent too long on the kids part and may have ruined the story.

Uh, are you KIDDING me!?

You didn't ruin it!

I can't say anything I didn't like, it would take me too long to work out!

[Skykat]

Thanks for the long, detailed review Sarah, you know how much I love reading them! I should just point out that the description bit you picked out was completely ILMS. The Hayley backstory came solely from her head not mine. Which leads me to repond to your comment about ruining it ILM. Fact is I'm okay with the events, the one liners and so on but you've made Hayley from being a person everyone hated to creating a character for her. You gave her another dimention, made her human and that could never ruin the story so no more negarive thoughts hey?

Just so you know I'm away now for a week and unlikely to have internet access but theres a chapter near completion so I should be able to post more when I get back. Thanks as ever for the reviews, especially the detailed ones. I love reading them, it makes writing all the more worthwhile.

[I love music]

OMG can someone else comment on this chapter and say what you did or didn't like about it? I know Kat was happy with my Hayley childhood input, but I think most people prefer reading about the scandals at the party. There've been loads of hits but only 3 reviews so far -and I'm worried I spent too long on the kids part and may have ruined the story.

Uh, are you KIDDING me!?

You didn't ruin it!

No, I wasn't joking. I was getting more and more worried because every time I came back to this site more and more people had hit on the fic and hardly anyone at all had responded...so I thought nobody liked the direction it was going in...

Glad everyone seems okay with the Hayley back story tho. Thanks for your support.

The Dani/Will/Gypsy/Noah/Kit and the Freddie Teddy idea (including when Hayley sits on the bed and wraps her arms round the teddy bear) is all from Kat, who is an absolutely fantastic writer and brilliant to work with. *Goes off to nominate Kat for a scriptwriting Logie*.

[~Lynd~]

You didn' ruin i at all,it was great!I did write a long review for the chapter but my internet went mad and i lost it.I'm to lazy to write it out again but next chapter i wll, i promise!

[-Laura-]

Well firstly WOW! That chapter was absolutely awesomly written and well worth the wait! The depth you have brought to the character of Hayley is fantastic! I really felt for her at the end and the flashbacks of her as a child has brought a whole new dimension to her character and really made me see her in a different light! Really good writing and it in no way ruined it atall but made the story stronger! You are both fantastic writers and i can't wait to see where you go next with this! Sorry its not more detailed but it is quite late and i am suffering from a lack of sleep after a long weekend staying with friends at uni so i promise the next one will be better and more detailed because your writing definitely deserves it! Look forward to the next and have a nice week away!

[SfanS]

I think as Kat said before, ILM, you didn't make Hayley worse. Some one like her...well, needs to be explained.

IMO, someone THAT awful should probably have a reasonm, if you know what I mean.

She was neglected, and everything, but still got everything she wanted.

And she turned into a B****. I kind of thought there was a reason from the start, and you explained it all. That just helps the story.

I'll stop going on and on now. ....

[kayla]

i'll be ur best friend if u update skykat!!!! :cool: pllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssssseeeee