Danni02 Posted May 21, 2010 Report Share Posted May 21, 2010 Great update. Your writing is brilliant! Poor Jack He wants his brother to open up to but Lucas is having none of it. I hope Lucas opens up about Tony's death soon. Preview sounds intriguing. Wondering who this visitor is.... Update soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted May 21, 2010 Report Share Posted May 21, 2010 Brilliant again.I love the way you've captured all three of them, obsessing about little details, bottling it up and letting the resentment build, trying to be strong but on the verge of cracking...I am really enjoying this fiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive User Posted May 22, 2010 Report Share Posted May 22, 2010 Wow I had been reading this fanfiction. Sad about Tony Sad for Rachel and the Holden boys. It's really good and touching, powerful. Really intrigued who the surprise visitor would be in the preview? More soon please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstyEkua Posted May 22, 2010 Report Share Posted May 22, 2010 Laura this is breaking my heart It's so incredibly tragic. I can't believe Tony is dead And poor Rachel, she must be beside herself, thinking he died thinking she didn't want to marry him. I loved how you wrote her reaction though, it's so realistic. I can imagine Rachel being like that, denying it and refusing to believe the truth. It's nice you had Charlie and Angelo tell her - i like their involvement in this story! Although it must have been awful for them as well. I'm happy Jack is in the fic - you've wrote him so well and i love how he seems to be dealing with it differently that Rachel. Rachel’s sobs were haunting, sending chills through their spine. It was as if it had finally sunk in that the man she loved was gone and the pain was too much to bear. Suddenly the sound of collective pieces of glass crashing to the floor made Jack jump and he raced towards her bedroom, part of him scared of what he would find. Those few lines were chilling and captured everything about Rachel's emotions so well. It's so sad she totally breaking down and no one seems to be able to help her I love you brought Lucas back and again it's great to have a different perspective on grief. I can understand his anger and how he must be feeling but i hope he is not too nasty to Rachel. She is going through hell as well. I love the interaction between Jack and Rachel and hope they can help each other through this. It must be awful for Rachel knowing the last time she saw Tony they were fighting. The Jack and Rachel scene in the bedroom was haunting, i love how you've written this. Can't wait for more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstyEkua Posted May 23, 2010 Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 This is so incredibly sad You've managed to capture Rachel's emotions so well - i feel like she's a friend i just want to hug. “I can’t” Rachel insisted. “I can’t go. Because if I do then I have to accept that he’s gone and…I’m not ready to do that yet.” That line was heartbreaking and really shows how fragile Rachel is at the moment - she's not coping at all. I love how you had Leah with her though, i hope she can comfort her in some way as she knows exactly what she is going through. Poor Lucas too He also needs a hug! I get why he is angry though and again i like how you're showing a completely different perspective on how people deal with grief. I hope that Lucas does decide to go - i feel it's something he'll regret if he doesn't. Jack seems like he is trying to hold everyone together, bless him He's been so supportive to Rachel even though he has his own grief to deal with. I like how not that much actually happened in this chapter but we learned a lot about how everyone is coping and got to understand a little more about Lucas and his feelings. Rachel just seems on the verge of a breakdown, i don't think she's coping at all and as soon as reality hits her it's really going to be awful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted May 24, 2010 Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 I loved that, once again.Like the way you brought Leah into it, supporting Rachel like we know she would.Jack didn't handle things very well with Lucas but then he's hurting himself and just can't understand his brother's reaction.Looking forward to more of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danni02 Posted May 24, 2010 Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) Aww I loved Leah's introduction, being there to suport Rachel. Poor Jack! As Kirsty said it does seem like he is trying to hold everyone together. Then there's Lucas. I really hope that he does decide to go to Tonys funeral. Update soon Edited May 24, 2010 by Danni02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 I feel like I should be saying something other than "That was amazing" but...it was.I love how you brought Matilda into it and getting Geoff to take Lucas' place was a master stroke.I really wasn't expecting Rachel to run out like that at the end and I'd really like to see where you take this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstyEkua Posted May 26, 2010 Report Share Posted May 26, 2010 Laura that was brilliant. Really well written chapter!! It's so incredibly sad and i love how you are writing Rachel in this. You can feel her pain Her speech was heartbreaking. She tried to be strong which is exactly as she always is. I adore Jack in this and love the interaction between him and Rachel. I can't believe he is pretty much ignoring his own pain in order to help Rachel and Lucas cope. He's been amazing and i hope he finds some comfort from someone too. You wrote the funeral beautifully and there was so much heartfelt emotion from everyone involved. You really set the scene well and i loved that. I had a really clear picture in my head of everyone and where they were suposed to be. I loved you brought Matilda back and i liked the little scene with Belle. It was nice to read about her perspective on things. And Geoff helping to carry the coffin Tony was close to a lot of people and you've really showed that in this. I liked reading Elijahs thoughts on everything and it's nice someone Tony considered a friend is conducting the service. “I never felt so safe or so loved than when I was with him, I never felt so happy. And now he’s gone.” The reaction she’d been desperately hoping wouldn’t happen began to occur inside of her and she struggled to speak, her voice becoming a mere gurgle of raspy breaths and choking sobs. “He didn’t deserve to die, I don’t know what I’m going to do…he…I love him…why.” She tried everything she could to continue, for Tony, but she just couldn’t do it, the grief was too much. She saw the blurry image of Jack coming to join her at the front but even with him there she knew she wouldn’t be able to say anymore. “I can’t do it Jack” she whispered, wondering what everyone was going to be thinking and feeling completely humiliated at breaking down in public. That very nearly made me cry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TachelHolden Posted May 27, 2010 Report Share Posted May 27, 2010 That was so good! I am speechless .... yes me actually lost for words! Great chapter so emotional and i feel so sorry for Jack&Rachel Poor Tony i miss him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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