My Only Hope

[lollypop]

Story Title: My Only Hope

Type of story: Long Fic

Main Characters: Charlie and Ruby, with the addition of Home and Away regulars and characters relating to Charlie and Ruby.

BTTB rating: G

Genre: Drama, Tragedy, Family.

Does story include spoilers: No.

Any warnings: None.

Summary: When Ruby is diagnosed with Leukemia, both Charlie and her daughter find their world being turned upside down. How far will Charlie go to save her daughter's life? Will revisiting the past be the answer she desperatly seeks to find?

Chapter 1

Okay so this a new story I'm working on. I'm at a loss at the moment with my other fan fic 'A Mother's Treasure' so I'm leaving it to one side for the time being. But I will be going back to it as soon as I come up some new ideas. Okay so this is an idea I've been tossing about for a while and finally found the time to get started. So I hope you like it and please, rate and review. Thanks to all the comments from members of my other fic. You're the inspiration I needed to moticate me to start this story :-)

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"I'm very sorry Ruby", the doctor siad after breaking the devastating news to the teen sitting in front of him.

With that, he excused himself from the room. Leaving Ruby to digest what she had just been told. She sat in silence, stunned. Gripping her mothers hand she turned and looked at Charlie, and when she saw the tears that lined her cheeks, she knew that this nightmare was actually reality. The sting of hot tears flushed her eyes and she couldn't hold them back as she replayed in her mind the doctor's words.

Leukemia. She was slowly dying and she didn't even know it. How could she not have known? Charlie looked at her daughter, her face completely drained of any colour and a fear in her eyes she had never seen before. It made her heart ache, an ache that was so unbearable she could feel it shatter into a million pieces for her precious little girl. Her Ruby, her friend, her daughter, the love of her life, was being killed by a disease that was seeping through her body. Feeling the tight grip on her hand become tighter, Charlie began to understand just how scared Ruby was. Releasing her hand from the death grip it was now in, she put her arm around her daughters shoulder and pulled her into her embrace,

Ruby's head fell against Charlie's chest as she lay in her arms. She felt her mother's sothing hand stroke her hair and the rhythmic beating of her heartbeat become rapid as it beat out of her chest in worry for her daughter. Ruby was terrified. Every bone in her body was screaming out that this was it, her life would soon be over. But as she rested her head agianst her mother's chest and felt the loving arms around her tighten their grip, Ruby started to feel safe. Like nothing could harm her.

Feeling her daughter cling to her, just like a newborn clings to their mother, it finally hit Charlie that her daughter would need her to be strong now more than ever. And at that moment, as she looked down at her weeping daughter, she made a vow that no matter how tough this journey they were about to take would get, she would always be there for Ruby and nothing was going to stop her from doing whatever she could to save her life.

"I love you so much Rubes", Charlie said as she felt a tear trickle down her face. "We're going to get through this okay? I promise I will do whatever it takes to make you better....I promise", and with that the two Buckton women held each other and thought about the long road ahead......

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6 Months Later

"Ah come on VJ you know I can't do that", Ruby said with a laugh as she tried to repeat the soccer trick he had just shown her.

"Can we play a game of soccer now?", he asked her with pleading looks.

Ruby smiled at the pleading looks he was giving her. They always worked on her, she could never say no when he pulled his puupy dog face,

"Alright, bring it on", she said trying to sound like a confident soccer pro.

Leah watched from the window as Ruby and VJ messed about in the back garden, both trying to out do the other with their soccer skills. She looked at young Ruby. It tugged on her heart strings to think that such a happy-go-lucky teenager who always looked after her health, was now slowly deteriorating before their very eyes. She thought about the nights she sat up with Charlie and watched as her friend sobbed for hours for her daughter. Leah loved Ruby like her own and to see her being put through the ringer was upsetting. Especially when chemo took it's toll.

Runing after VJ, Ruby suddenly stopped, her head began to feel dizzy and started feeling light on her feet. A nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach started to take hold. As she watched VJ run on, suddenly she lost her balance and fell to the ground, clinging to th grass. VJ cheered as he scored another goal, but when he turned around he was panic stricken by what he saw. Peering through the window to check how things were going, Leah's face dropped when she saw Ruby lying on the grass.

Bursting out of the back door, she ran towards the teenager and knelt down beside her stroking her back.

"Ruby, Ruby it's Leah", she said trying not to startle the younger Buckton. "Come sweetheart we're going to get inside the house okay", she said as she gently tried to ease the unsteady teen onto her feet.

Walking into the house, everything around Ruby felt strange, a weird sensation ran throughout her body. Suddenly it felt like all the energy in her body just suddenly disappeared. Reaching her room, Leah helped her climb into her bed. Laying there with her head propped against the extra fluffy pillows, she found herself drifting in and out of consiousness. Leah stood up and walked over to the door, taking one last glance at Ruby, and then exiting, closing the door over behind as she left.

That evening Charlie arrived home feeling pretty hard done by that she had to remain in work when there was nothing there to do except complain. Walking through the back door, she was greeted by Leah who was preparing dinner. She gave a small wave as she dumped her handbag on the ground under the small lamp stand out of the way. Looking around she noticed that the house was quiet, which was unusal as for the last few days it had been chaotic with Ruby and VJ running about. It made Charlie happy to see Ruby having good days like that. Seeing her ill and barely able to do anything upset her deeply.

"Hey, where is everyone?", she asked her housemate as she peered through the living room,

Leah put the knife she was using and stopped what she was doing. Rubbung her hands in her apron she turned to Charlie.

"Eh, Charlie, we had a bit of a problem today", she said trying to ease into the converstation. "Ruby and VJ were playing soccer early and I think it took it out of her a little bit...she collapsed", she finished.

"What?", Charlie said as she took of her coat and fllung it onto the couch as she made her way towards Ruby's room.

Walking up to the door, she stopped and knocked. From the other side she heard a very faint reply and entered the room to complete darkness. Charlie knew this was a sign that all was not well. Ruby only slept in the dark when she had really bad migrane headaches and that was usually accompanied by a full on nose bleed. Flicking on the small bedside lamp so she could see, Charlie say her daughter lying on her side on the bed.

Sitting down beside her, Charlie placed a hand in Ruby's side, encouraging her to roll over, and with that gesture she did. Charlie's face fell as she saw the blood that was pouring out of Ruby's nose. Putting an arm under her daughter, she gently lifted her to help her into a slightly more upright position. Leaning over to the box of tissues on the bedside locker she pulled out a small handful and placing one hand behind Ruby's head, she gently held the tissues against the younger Bucktons nose

"Is that better?", she asked her daughter as she looked her up and down to make sure everything else seemed okay.

The younger girl just simply nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry Charlie", she said as she placed her hand onto of the one her mother was holding against her nose.

"Hey you have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me?", she stated as she inched closer to her daughter.

"I know but, you shouldn't be obligated to look after me like this, it's not fair", Ruby said sadly as she thought of all the time Charlie had given up to be with her, either in a medical matter or just to be there to comfort Ruby and hold her when she was having one of her bad days. Her mother had practically given up her own life to take care of her. Even puutting her relationship with Angelo in serious conflict.

"Now listent to me. Rubes I don't do this out of some stupid obligation. I do it because I love you more than anyone or anything in this world and because I want to", she said firmly, her love and affection for her daughter evident across her face.

"Okay", Ruby nodded.

With that she leaned into her mother's embrace Charlie's embrace tightening on her as she did so. Rocking her back and forth, she gently kissed the top of her daughter's bald head.

"I love you", Charlie said resting her head on top of Ruby's head as she thought about Ruby's chemo appointment the following day. A sadness washed over her and she clung to her daughter to find the strength to get through another day. Just as Ruby clung to her mother to find the fight to keep on living. Neither willing to let this cancer ravage her.

"I love you too".

[callyha]

Aww, lovely first chapter.

more soon please x

[RomeoPrincess]

Awww another cancer storyline but just how far will Charlie go to save Ruby? I love Ruby and such a great start.

Laura x

[freckleface]

Awww I hope she'll be okay

[Inactive User]

Awww poor Ruby Hope she fights the cancer. More soon please

[lollypop]

Chapter 2

Rubes, sweetie, are you up?", Charlie called through the door.

Today was the beginning of Ruby's next round of chemo and the start of what would be an exhausting, emotionally draining couple of weeks. Charlie remembered the last round of chemo, all the hours spent in the hospital trying to pass the time while Ruby was being turned inside out by the gruelling side effects of the drugs pumping through her system. There were times she sobbed her heart out because she physically and mentally could not take anymore of it.

So many times Charlie had wished she could go through it for her daughter. Wished that she could take away some of the anguish and emotional burden that Ruby carried with her everytime she had to lie in that hospital bed and spend hours hurling into a plastic basin and hoping the pounding in her head would just stop. Today was the beginning of a routine that would burn out both Buckton women. But neither would stop fighting while there was still hope.

Knocking again, she entered, stepping into the room quietly. Looking over at the bed she found Ruby lying on her side facing her, eyes bloodshot and her face completely drained of any colour. She looked at her mother, eyes only half open. Barely able to say anything as her energy levels just seemed to disappear altogether. Charlie walked over to the bed and sat down beside her daughter, stoking her forehead and grabbing a hold of one of her hands.

"Baby, sweetie, are okay?", Charlie asked her concern for Ruby clearly showing on her face.

"Charlie, I can't do this again", Ruby said, a defeated to tone to her frail voice breaking through as she tried to hold back her tears.

Charlie wanted to scream at her daughter in that moment. The idea of Ruby giving up to much for her to even try to comprehend. There was no way she was ever going to except Ruby not living, she was not going to bury her own child, not now, not ever. Right then she wanted to scoop Ruby up in her arms and shake. Tell her she was going to fight. But another part of her, the rational part of her, was telling her that deep down she knew there would come a point where Ruby couldn't take it anymore.

The chemo, the leukemia. It was all too much. She was only sixteen years old. She was still only a child. Charlie leaned down and engulfed Ruby in her arms, sitting her upright, almost pulling her onto her lap. She cradled her daughter in her arms like a child, resting Ruby's head against her chest. As she did so, Ruby let out a groan, her head still hurt and all the movement wasn't helping. While Ruby clung to her mother's arm, Charlie showered her with kisses, on the top of her head, on her cheek and then on the temple.

It was holding Ruby in her arms that Charlie subsided her anger, she needed to motivate her daughter to keep fighting. She knew it was going to be tough and she knew that the side effects would wear down Ruby's spirits. But she had to fight. If not for herself then for Charlie. She needed her daughter in her life more than anybody else. Charlie knew she was a closed book to almost everyone. The only person she ever opened up to was Ruby. Even Angelo could seem to break down the barriers. At least not completely.

Who would she turn to if Ruby was gone? Who could ever fill that void left in her life? But not only her life, her heart? Charlie could cope with her mother's death, she could cope with the idea of her father losing his mind and fading away, she could cope with losing Angelo. But losing Ruby would be more than unbearable. They had only just arrived at a comfortable point in their relationship where Charlie could be an actual mother to Ruby when the leukemia diagnosis was delivered. She refused to lose let her daughter slip through her fingers before she had the chance to do that.

"Rubes, I know your scared, and I know that the pain you feel is worse than I could even bear to think about. But I need you to be strong, for me. Because I need you to live. Sweetie, I can't go on without you in my life. So I need you to fight....for me", Charlie said with a determination she had never felt or experienced before.

Ruby looked up at her mother, still clinging to her out of fear. Gazing into her eyes she could see the determination and the love that Charlie was generating and somehow, it gave her a feeling of inner strength to make it through today's session. Ruby loved Charlie so much. It hurt her to think that her own illness was causing her mother so much pain and heartache. That's why she needed to fight. She needed to do it for her mother if not for herself.

"Okay", was all she could manage. But that was all Charlie needed to hear.

Giving Ruby one last kiss, she gently helped her daughter out of bed and out to the kitchen. She knew Ruby wouldn't be able to stomach food and that whatever she did eat would just come back up in chemo. But she needed to eat, she needed the physical strength to at least get her to the hospital. She knew by Ruby's expression that every mouthful was proving too much. But she wouldn't be satisfied until she was sure she had enough to keep her going.

A couple of hours later Ruby was lying in one of the beds enduring he first of the many chemo sessions she would have to endure. And as was the case the first time around, the first session proved to be the toughest as her body tried to adjust to the draining treatment it was being put through. The only problem she had besides the chemo and the disease was the chest catheter in her chest. At times she found it very uncomfortable she hated having to look at it while she dressed in the mornings. It made her feel like a freak. Although at least it culd be hidden. Her bald head was a little more obvious.

The gazes she would recieve from complete strangers, looks of sympathy, curiosity, while she could understand that people didn't mean to stare, she still found it quite humiliating. No matter what her Charlie or Leah, Nicole or Xavier, or whoever else said, she still felt the same way. But at least she could run away from that. What she could escape was the overwhelming nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. The sign that the drugs were really beginning to kick into gear.

The whole time they had been at the hospital, Charlie never left her side. She remained seated by the bed, stroking Ruby's hair. Trying to sooth her. Again the crippling fear she fought every day began eating away. Even though she tried desperatly to push the thoughts to the back of her mind, every now and then she could help but find herself questioning Ruby's chances of survival. That scared, more than anything. Holding onto her daughters hand, she felt the grip on it intensify as another nauseous wave hit her.

"It's okay baby, just breath through it", she said as she dabbed Ruby's forehead with a towel.

Just then, Dr. Parker walk into the room. He smiled at Ruby as he walked over and stood near to where Charlie was seated.

"Hey Ruby, are you okay? I know chemo's tough but....", Ruby cut him off

"....it get's easier as your body begins to adjust to it, I know you said that last time", she finished tring to smile back at him.

"Haha yeah and like last time I was right", he replied trying to lighten the mood. "Charlie, could I have a word with you outside for a moment?".

"Sure", she said as she placed the towel down on the bed.

Standing up she leaned down and told Ruby she wouldn't be long before giving her a quick kiss. Following Dr. Parker out of the room, she closed the door behind her and stood in the corridor waiting for him to talk. He looked down at the file in his hand and then back at Charlie. Gesturing for her to sit in the vacant seats the lined the wall. Charlie took a seat and sat next to Dr. Parker. She felt uneasy and had a feeling she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear.

"We need to start looking at bone marrow transplant for Ruby", he said.

Charlie sat there in silence. She had heard what the doctor had said but she just couldn't get her head around it. She didn't expect this to happen so soon. Fidgeting with her hands she looked back up at the doctor. A million questions were running through her mind but she but there were only a small few she really wanted to focus on. She started with the most obvious one.

"Where will the doner come from?", she asked.

"Well, in most cases we like to test family members first. Now I am by no means saying this always the case. In fact it only occurs in 25-30% of cases. But siblings of leukemic patients are sometimes a match. You don't have any other children do you?", he said more as a statement than a question.

Charlie shook her head informing the doctor that she didn't. But just as she was about to fall into a silent panic, it hit her like a tonne of bricks. While Ruby didn't have any maternal siblings, she did in fact have two paternal siblings. Grants children. Somehow the whole concept seemed wrong. In one way it seemed sick and twisted that Ruby's hope of survival was linked to Grant. In another, she was desperate to hold onto her daughter.

But could she do it? Could she really revisit the past? Did she have it in her to even ask for Grant's wife to even consider the idea? She didn't owe them anything. They took away her husband, the father of her children. Even though Grant deserved to be punished. They didn't deserve to have their family torn apart. But that's what happened and although they too were hurting, Charlie knew deep down that Tracy would blame them.

Suddenly her mind began to race. Questions swirled around like a whirlpool, making her head spin and causing her more grief than she would like. But they were questions she needed to answer. Was she ready to revisit the past? If she wanted to save Ruby's life, it was something she would have to do. Walking back into the room, she sat on the bed next to Ruby. Leaning down she planted a kiss on her forehead and then picked up her hand stroking it. Looking at her daughter, everything feel into place. She knew exactly what she had to do and she was going to do it.

[Inactive User]

Great chapter. More soon please. I am loving this fanfiction. I am still planning to write another Charlie/Ruby fanfiction

[lollypop]

Chapter 3

Sitting in the kitchen, nursing a now cold cup of coffee, Charlie's mind had drifted off into obscurity as she thought about what the doctor had talked to her about earlier. She knew that Ruby's best hope of a match would be from that of a sibling. But the idea of knocking on the door of her dead rapists widow wife and asking her to allow a bunch of doctors take samples from her children, it just seemed completely surreal and unrealistic. Even sound of it made the idea seem like some fake real life tv movie..

But what wasn't fake was the fact that every second that she spent contemplating the idea, Ruby was slowly being consumed by her illness. Every inch of Charlie's being screamed at her to stand up, be a mother and fight for her childs life. But then there was the realist in her that quietly reasoned with her that while it was only natural to want to do whatever she had to in order to make Ruby better, she still had to ask the question, could she really put someone elses child through that ordeal, even if it might make her own daughter better?

Charlie turned at looked at the table beside the food storage room that was used to put their keys on. Leah had put picture frames on it to make it look presentable, pictures of family, friends and of their house party a while back. One of the frames held a picture of Charlie, Ross, Morag and Ruby. She looked at it sadly. While she loved Morag and considered her part of the family, she could never replace the void left behind by Charlie's own mother. She missed her terribly and in tough times like this, she wished she were around to be her tower of strength, her words of wisdom, her guiding light.

Then there was Ross. Although he was still alive, held in a secure facility for murdering Grant, his mind was deteriorating day by day and sooner rather than later he too would be gone. Which only left Ruby. While it was hard letting go of her parents, the thought of ever having to let go of her own daughter was more than Charlie could take. Ruby was all she had left and most days, it felt like Ruby was all she needed. As long as her daughter was happy, healthy and doing well in life, Charlie didn't need anything else. She didn't need her career or Angelo, just the love of her daughter.

And she had that, more than she would ever know. But if Ruby didn't get the help she needed and fast, she didn't know how much longer she would that love for. Standing up, she picked up he cup and brought it over to the sink, emptying out the remainder of her coffee and rinsing out the cup. Picking up the towel she dried off the cup and placed it on the rack on the counter with the rest. Folding up the towel, she placed it back down and then turned to make her way to the living room.

Just then a knock at the door stopped her in her tracks and she moved towards it to open it. There in the doorway stood Angelo in his police uniform, He smiled when he saw her, a twinkle in his eye, but Charlie didn't notice. Stepping back she allowed him to enter and they sat down at the kitchen counter. It was only at that moment that she realised just how uncomfortable the knew high stools were. Angelo grabbed a hold of her hand.

"How are you doing?", he asked, genuinely concerned for her.

"I'm fine, but then I'm not the one fighting cancer and sitting through chemo", she said sounding irritated by the question.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean your fine Charlie, Your daughter ill, that must have some effect on you?", he replied trying to get her to open up to him,

Charlie looked at him with a look of annoyance spread clearly present. How could he ask such a stupid question. Then again it wasn;t uncommon for him to say idiotic things. It seemed to something that came quite naturally to him.

"Of course it has an effect on me Angelo. My daughter's slowly dying and I'll I can do is sit back and watch. Every single day", she said. "It hurts, it pains me to watch her struggle when I know there is nothing I can do about it", tears began to build up in her eyes and her voice started to shake as she continued. "Ruby is the one thing in my life that has been constant, and good. There are times I sit and wonder, how was I blessed with such an amazing daughter who makes me proud every day? She is the one thing in this world that means everything to me and the idea of losing her , it......", she trails off unable to speak.

Angelo looked at her, feeling slightly dejected by the her last statement. He always felt deep down that he loved Charlie, more than she could ever love him. It was a fact he learned to live with because he just wanted to hold onto her. But to hear her more or less point out the obvious, didn't make him feel good. As he sat there he realised that Charlie was slipping away from him. It had been happening snce before Ruby's diagnosis, but with everything that was going on he thought she would fall back into his arms so he could be her knight in shining armour, a shoulder to cry on.

Instead, things seemed as distant and cold as they had before. Like Charlie was settling for second best rather than being alone. But know she was starting to find her own two feet and Angelo felt like he was quickly becoming cast aside. He knew he had to make some grand gesture to win her over again, but what? He couldn't propose marriage because he knew that would be too big a commitment for Charlie. He couldn't whisk her off on a romantic holiday as Charlie needed to be with Ruby. Then it hit him. He grabbed both her hands.

"Move in with me", he said with a firm tone to his voice.

"What?", Charlie replied, not knowing whether it was some big joke she wasn't in on.

"I'm serious. We can get a place together, you, me, Ruby. I can help you take care of her", he stated trying to convince her of what he had just said.

"You seriously think that's going to work? That you could look after her?", she asked as she stood up and walked into the living room, folding her arms across her chest as she stood by the couch.

Angelo stood up and followed her, stopping in front of her and placing a hand on her folded arms.

"Yeah I do", he said with confidence.

Just then the door to Ruby's bedroom opened and out stepped the frail, shaken teenager, stagger along against the walls as she desperatly tried to get to the bathroom. Charlie looked up and saw her daughter struggling and bounded after her, worry setting in instantly. Angelo stepped back slightly shocked, He'd never seen Ruby look that bad. Snapping out of his daze, he quickly followed suit to the bathroom and stopped at the doorway.

Peering in, he found Ruby on a heap on the floor hurling up everything left in her system, while Charlie kneeled down beside her clutching her around the waist to keep her daughter upright over the toilet bowl. When Ruby was finished she collapsed into her mother's embrace, her head spinning, unable to move. Charlie wrapped her in her arms dabbing away the traces of blood from Ruby's nose. She turned and looked at Angelo who was staring at them both in an anxious sweat.

"Angelo get me a damp cloth", she said as she stroked Ruby's forehead. Turning back she saw Angelo still standing in the doorway. "ANGELO NOW!!", she snapped, frightening a dazed and confused Ruby who clung to her with whatever energy she had.

Angelo rooted around for a face cloth. Finally finding one, he dampened it with cold water and handed it to Charlie who snatched it from him. Annoyed by his presence. Dabbing Ruby's forehead with the cloth she listened as the young girl grunted, falling in and out of consiousness. Then she looked up at Angelo and began to speak.

"You really think you can look after her?", she said and looked as he stood there in silence unable to answer. "Didn't think so", she finished and then turned her attention back to her daughter.

With that Angelo walked out, realising he had failed yet again to win Charlie over. He couldn't let her go but he didn't know how to hold onto someone who didn't want to held on to. Rubbing his head in frustration, he kicked the bind outside the house and then jumped in his car, Speeding off down the road towards his home.

Back inside, Charlie scooped Ruby up and helped her to her room. Once inside, she placed the teenager back into her bed. Removing her shoes, Charlie climbed in beside her daughter, not wanting to leave her alone on that night. Pulling the blanket up, she cuddled up next to her daughter and grabbed a hold of one of her hands. She kissed Ruby on the top of the head and then watched over her as she slept. Tomorrow would be another stressful day but in that moment, Charlie basked in the peacefulness of watching her baby sleep.

[Inactive User]

Great chapter. More soon please I am off to post Chapter 7 of my fanfiction now ;)

[lollypop]

Chapter 4

Lying in the bed, staring at Charlie as she slept peacefully beside her, Ruby smiled. Ever since her diagnosis her mother had been on twenty four hour alert. She never relaxed, she always looked worried and stressed. Ruby hardly ever saw Charlie smile anymore. It was like she was afraid to be seen to be happy when her daughter was being slowly killed by a disease seeping through her body. There wasn't really much to be happy about.

But regardless of it all, Ruby wanted Charlie to be happy. She wanted to see her smile. Ruby never expected the disease to have such an effect on the people around her. But it had and that pained her even more than the chemotherapy. Deep down Ruby knew that there was a good chance that she could die much sooner in her life than she would like. And although she hated the thought of it, wanted she wanted more than anything was to make sure that if her time did come, that Charlie knew how much she loved her and that she wanted her to go on and live a happy and full life.

Watching as her mother slept, Ruby cherished the moment with all her heart, because she knew that once Charlie awoke from the peaceful slumber she lay in, that she would instantly snap back into protective mother mode. As Ruby lay there in bed with her head rested against her mothers, she felt Charlie begin to twist and turn as she lowly began to wake. Charlie stretched her arms and then rubbed her eyes, adjusting them to the bright light. She looked beside her and found her daughter was also awake and gently stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I wake you?", Charlie asked as she shifted herself into an upright position.

"No I, I couldn't sleep anyways so I thought I'd read", Ruby lied, pointing to the book on the bedside cabinet.

Charlie nodded and half smiled as she gazed at her daughter. After last night she had expected to find Ruby still fighting nausea but was amazed to find her rather settled in herself on this particular morning. Thinking back to last night, Charlie remembered the fight with Angelo. Even though she would like to actually remain in a relationship for more than a few months and things with Angelo seemed okay, she couldn't help but push him away. Ruby was her number one priority and after last night she knew Angelo wasn't prepared to care for a cancer stricken teenager. As she sat there she could feel her daughter's eyes gazing at her.

"Charlz, about that fight you and Angelo had last night that wasn't because of me was it?", Ruby asked.

"No,of course not......", Charlie was cut off as Ruby sensed that she was lying to spare her feelings.

"Charlie, you don't have to lie, just tell me the truth", Ruby said as she reached for her mother's hand.

"Angelo wanted us to get a place together. He wanted to help take care of you", Charlie said running her fingers through her hair.

"And that irritated you how exactly?", Ruby asked confused.

"Because it was Angelo being Angelo. Making big gestures thinking it will make things better. Only he got a wake up call when he saw you yesterday. I think the idea of taking care of you seemed like a good idea because he wanted to please me. Instead he saw what being responsible full time actually meant", Charlie finished.

Ruby nodded. She could understand where Charlie was coming from. Angelo had a thing for acting on impulse and then thinking things through afterwards. It usually got him in more trouble than he anticipated. But at the same time, she wanted Charlie to forgive him. If anything happened to her, she didn't want Charlie to wallow in misery like she usually would and end up lonely. However she didn't want to challenge Charlie because she knew when it came to Angelo, things were better left to sort themselves out.

"Charlie, what were you and Dr. Paker talking about the other day?", Ruby asked.

Charlie flinched. She didnt' know what to say. She knew she had to tell Ruby about the converstation she had had but she was hoping to put it off until she had managed to get her own head around it. Especially the part about having to talk to Tracy. Looking at Ruby, she knew by the expression on her face that she wasn't going to let up on this. She had to bite tha bullet. No matter how much it hurt her to.

"Rubz, Dr. Parker says that it looks like you'll be needing a bone marrow transplant soon. The thing is they say that he most likely match for you is a.......a sibling", Charlie managed to get.

"Grants kids", Ruby said, knowing instantly where Charlie was going with this. Saying her biological fathers name made her feel more nauseous than the chemo.

Charlie nodded looking at her daughter. Then she bowed her head and let out the tears that had been threatening to fall since they had started this talk. She leaned back her head an looked up to the heavens, wiping away the tears in her cheeks. She reached down and cupped Ruby's hands in her own and searched for the words she wanted to say. Instead she chose, for once, to be honest with her daughter

"I know what I have to do Rubz.....I just don't know how to do it", Charlie as she began to sob uncontrollably.

"Shhhh....", Ruby said trying to sooth her mother.

"NO...no, I'm your mother. I should be able to do this", Charlie said almost in shouting the words as she spoke. "I can't lose you....you're my baby....I can't lose you....".

With that Charlie finally broke down and fell into the embrace of her daughter. Allowing her tears to fall freely for the first time in months. As she did so Ruby wrapped her arms around her mother and held her tightly. For the first time since her diagnosis, she got a real sense of just how scared Charlie really was of losing her and it broke her heart. As they sat there, Ruby let a tear fall down her cheek as she cilently contemplated what the future would hold. And a feeling of darkness overcame her, unnerving her the more she dare to think about it.