The Way Back

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 30

"Just so you know we are most definitely not having kinky sex in a motel room." Ella told him rolling over in the huge double bed and looking at his profile.

Roman grinned.

"Absolutely not." he agreed glancing around the sparse room before leaning over and kissing her again.

He heard her sigh against his lips and before he knew the words came out.

"Ella I love you."

She eased back and before she knew it she’d slapped him and moved to get out of the bed.

"Yeah ok, I was kind of expecting a different reaction." he told her watching as she stalked naked into the adjoining bathroom.

"How can you say you love me and do what you did?" she fumed.

He stood halfway to the bathroom himself and a small part of his brain recognised they were arguing while both being naked and the grin that he really shouldn't have at that moment crept on to his face.

She looked at him, although to be fair it was more of a glare.

“What the hell are you smiling at?” she asked him.

“We’re naked.” He said before he could stop himself.

“Yes.” She said folding her arms across herself.

“Well,” he said.

“Well what?” she muttered.

“Its just struck me that we were both naked and arguing and well naked.”

“You mentioned naked twice.” She told him.

He glanced down his body and then met her gaze.

She followed his gaze and then grinned back.

“You appear to be….” She stopped.

“You can use the word aroused.” He supplied. “And no, you are not going to use this tactic.” He told her when he saw her smile at him.

“I’m not?” she asked him.

He nodded and caught himself following the movement of her own hand as she began a slow exploration of her own body. His breath hissed between his teeth and he gave a slow moan especially as he saw her cup her own breast, her fingers splayed around the pink nipple.

“Ok get on the bed.” He ordered striding over to her.

She laughed and stepped back into the bathroom and closing the door before he could reach her.

“Ella.” He groaned her name banging on the door.

“Sorry can’t hear you.” She said softly.

He glared at the door and cursed hearing her soft laughter from the other side.

“Ella Harris if we weren’t divorced we soon would be.” He shouted and moved over to the bed lying down on it.

She opened the door slowly and peeked out at him.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” she asked him laughing.

“Come here.” He said softly.

She moved over to the bed and lay next to him. He moulded her face between his hands before kissing her.

“I love you.” He told her again.

“Then why did you break us up?” she asked him.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.” He told her a frown on his face again removing the smile he’d had earlier.

She eased back and looked at him.

“Roman.” She said softly.

“You described it Ella.” He told her. “I never told you what my dream was.”

She sighed.

“You didn’t need to.” She told him finally.

“So I did hurt you.” He concluded.

“No.” she said taking his face between her hands and forcing him to look at her. “You didn’t rape me.”

“But I did do something didn’t I? When I was drunk? That’s why the dream seemed so real.”

She looked at him before nodding.

“You held me down and forced my legs apart.” She said.

“What did I do Ella?” he asked.

“Nothing.” She told him. “You lay on top of me and clung to me so I put my arms around you and held you until you went to sleep.”

He shook his head and started to pull away from her.

“Roman.” She said softly. “I love you.”

He looked at her before kissing her passionately.

“Promise me I didn’t hurt you like that.” He said softly.

“I promise you.” She told him.

He kissed her again and again feeling her hands caress him all over. Easing back he looked into her eyes.

“Those kids of ours are going to be so smug their plan worked.” He told her.

She grinned.

“It did?” she asked. “Because technically we aren’t back together.”

He mock growled before tickling her.

“Oh yes we are.” He told her when she’d stopped laughing.

She looked at him and gave a very slow smile.

“Ok what are you thinking?” he asked her.

She kissed him and eased back looking into his eyes.

“How sneaky can you be?” she asked him.

“Ella!” he muttered. “You’ve been married to me long enough not to ever bother asking me that question.” He said and saw her giggle again.

“I said sneaky Mister, not downright devious and evil.” She told him huffily.

He merely raised an eyebrow at her and she giggled again. For the first time in weeks he felt happy again and he sighed loudly before he felt the touch of her hand on his face again.

“What are you planning?” he asked her.

“When we go back we see each other in secret.” She suggested to him.

“And continue to let the kids think we aren’t getting back together.”

She nodded.

“We’ll have to put up with more plotting.” He told her.

She nodded once more.

“And I’ll have to book us into a hotel room occasionally.” He told her and she grinned before blushing. “And climb in through your bedroom window.” He added.

“What?” she gasped.

“I figured out that if Sophie can climb out of Danni’s room it should be possible to use the trellis to climb up into our room.”

“You’ve been thinking that?” she asked him and saw him nod.

“Along with lots of other things.” He whispered in her ear. “Like the thought of you touching yourself for me and hearing those little sounds you make. Then I thought of how I would kiss my way down your spine.”

“Roman!” Ella gasped his name and their eyes met.

“I’ve missed you Ella.” He said quietly.

“Well its your own stupid fault.” She muttered.

He chuckled and looked at her.

“You’ve reached the grumpy stage of the pregnancy then.” He said and felt her slap his arm. “Hey!” he protested. “I was being romantic.”

“Romantic doesn’t involve a dodgy motel room on the side of the highway.” She pointed out. “Where you normally only pay for rooms by the hour.”

Roman nodded.

“I did notice the desk clerks surprise when I said that I wanted the room for the whole night.” He murmured and saw her grin again.

“Uh huh and would you like to tell me why you are still wearing your wedding ring Mister?” she asked after a moment.

“Would you believe that the pregnancy has swollen my finger so I can’t get my ring off.” He said his tongue firmly in his cheek as he quoted the reason she gave for not taking her ring of.

“I will kill Danni.” She muttered.

“Actually I think Danni told Gabby who mentioned it to Rachel who must have told Leah because I over heard her tell that to Colleen.” Roman said quietly.

“They aren’t going to give up are they?” Ella said to him. “And the real reason?”

“I couldn’t take it off.” He told her quietly.

“So avoiding my calls, not seeing the kids,” she began.

“Hey the kids decided they didn’t want to see me. Georgie even stood me up the other day for our run. He sent me a text, after I waited an hour for him..”

“Not seeing the kids, forgetting all about Cookie,” she continued.

“Cookie hates me!” He said looking at her smiling face, referring to the cat.

“Cookie is pining for you.” She told him. “She’s lost weight.”

“That’s because without me there she doesn’t get her bribe of ham slices not to kill me.” He muttered.

Ella gave him a soulful look and saw him laugh.

“I’ve even had to cut my own grass.” She added to the list.

“Ouh!” he moaned. “Low blow. You know how much I like getting hot and sweaty in the garden.”

“And everywhere else.” She said fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Roman chuckled and put his arms around her pulling up the cover over them. He sighed happily and snuggled closer.

“Tired?” she asked him.

“Uh huh. I’m not sure whether it was the stress of the day or the fact my wife just wore me out with her sexual demands.” He told her.

“Just keep going Mister, I’m storing up a list.” She muttered.

He chuckled.

“I love you Ella.” He said softly. “And in the morning that daughter of ours is going to find herself severely spanked.”

“Even after she got us here?” she asked him.

“Supposing she really had run away do you know what could have happened to her out here?” he demanded anger entering his voice.

“Yes, actually I do.” She told him softly stroking the arm he had around her, whilst his other hand was resting on her pregnant bump.

“El?” he questioned.

She sighed.

“Nothing.” She told him.

“Nothing huh?” he asked.

“I ran away a few times myself you know.” She said quietly.

“I know and if you tell me now that you were in any way hurt I’m going to go hunt them down.” He promised her.

“I got scared a few times.” She temporised.

“Uh huh. Would you like me to know?” he asked finally thinking of what he’d done to her.

“No.” she said to him softly. “I dealt with it.”

“No scars?” he asked thinking of the emotional ones.

She shook her head.

“Nothing to worry about.” She promised him.

“I can’t believe…” he began and then looked at her. “Is that why you got a new sofa and changed the house?” he asked quickly.

She gave him a look and then nodded.

“I knew that at some point you’d remember so I though taking those triggers away might stop the memories surfacing. “

He gave her a slow sad smile.

“How close did I come?” he asked.

“I don’t know the answer to that. I believe that you were trying to scare me into backing off.”

She told him.

“Did I…” he murmured. “Was I…” he tried rephrasing the question.

“Were you ready to follow through?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

He nodded grateful she had understood his ramble.

“No.” she said quietly. “But you were drinking heavily and that can affect performance so I’ve been told.”

He chuckled then, feeling his sudden laughter inappropriate but couldn’t stop himself.

“Who would tell you a thing like that?” he asked.

She looked at him and grinned.

“Aden.” She told him.

Roman gave her a look and then sighed.

“I heard you and him talking about stuff on four separate occasions.” He said quietly. "And none of it sounded innocent."

“Oh my god.” She exclaimed. “And it took you how long until you exploded?”

“I don’t know is holding out for a long time before I got stupidly jealous a good thing or bad thing?” he asked her.

She lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a gently kiss to his palm.

“uh huh.” He murmured before yawning.

“Go to sleep my husband.” She told him and felt the rise and fall of his chest as he laughed.

“Tell me.” He instructed her.

“I love you.” She whispered her eyes closing as the lure of sleep pulled her deeper.

He reached out and snapped off the light before snuggling back down next to her. Placing his hand back on her belly he felt his child kick against his hand and he couldn’t help smiling as he drifted to sleep next to her.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 31

Roman and Ella walked slowly into the house and made for the living room. Sophie was sitting at the table and all eyes turned and looked at her.

“Sophie, we’d like a word with you. Please go into the study and wait for us.” Ella said to her daughter.

Sophie looked at the others before standing slowly and moving into the study.

“Georgie, Sammy and Meggy. “ Roman said quietly. “You are grounded. Sammy you won’t be getting your rabbit.”

Sammy gasped and looked at Meggy.

“Georgie we are confiscating your money. You won’t be getting that laptop you want.” Ella said to him.

“Meggy you are going to have extra chores around the house. And do not think that Danni and Gabby will get off lightly either.” Roman told her uttering the warning for the others.

“Daddy.” Meggy murmured. “I don’t mind extra chores but don’t take away Sammy’s rabbit.” She begged them.

Ella felt Roman look at her and she almost gave in to the appeal in her daughters eyes.

“You don’t seem to realise how serious your actions were.” Roman said to them. “Supposing something really happened to Sophie when she was plotting this out or even your mother?”

Georgie paled.

“Mummy?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” She said quickly. “I think they know that they have done wrong.” She added looking at Roman.

“Lets go see to Sophie.” He murmured and she nodded.

They walked into the study and closed the door behind them. Roman waited for Ella to sit down before he eased on to the sofa beside her.

“First of all Sophie we are very disappointed. You lied to us. You had your mother worried at a time she doesn’t need any stress. And you involved other people in your scheme.” Roman told her.

Sophie paled even more.

“At the moment you are grounded. We will let you know what further punishment you will get tomorrow.” Ella said to her. “You may go.”

“Mummy.” Sophie said quickly.

“I said you may go.” Ella said again.

Sophie gave them a last look and moved out of the room slamming the door behind her.

“Well I think you’ve made your point.” Ella said to him.

“You told me that I could handle it and I have.” He told her grinning.

She sighed and leaned into the arm he placed around her.

“I have to go.” He said softly.

“I know.” She told him.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He promised.

“Roman.” She began.

“No Ella I will see you tonight. “ he reiterated and leaned forward to kiss her.

She sighed against his lips before threading her arms around his neck and kissing him back. He slowly moved back and looked into her eyes smiling at her.

“Love you.” He murmured.

She grinned.

“Me too.” She replied.

“Well lets get this done.” He said grinning back at her.

She sighed and eased up of the sofa ignoring the smile he had on his face.

“This is the last baby.” She moaned putting her hand to the small of her back.

“Really but you look so beautiful pregnant.” He said quietly.

“Yeah, beautiful with swollen ankles and stretch marks and horrible hair and I walk like a walrus.” She moaned.

He stood up and moved over to her.

“Stop fishing for compliments.” He said leaning down to kiss her.

She moved away from him and opened the door.

“I said get out.” Ella muttered.

“Gladly.” Roman replied hiding his smirk.

“And don’t bother coming back.” She added.

Roman moved over to the door and turning he winked at her before he went out and slammed the door behind him.

“Mummy.” Sophie said quickly.

“What were you expecting Sophie?” Ella asked her.

“That you and daddy talked.” She said looking sad.

Ella had to remind herself that they had agreed this was the best course of action and bit back what she wanted to say.

“Well we did and we decided that we really are better off without each other. Now then I expect homework to be done and rooms tided. The builders will be in next week beginning on the stables so there will be more than usual mess around.” She told them. “Have you sorted out school uniforms for next week? Has anyone done the laundry?”

Sophie and Meggy looked at each other and then at Georgie and Sammy before they rushed out of the room. She watched them go before walking over to Lily and picking her up. She felt a sharp pain in her back and moved to the sofa gasping.

“Hey Mum.” Danni called walking into the lounge. “Oh my god are you ok?” she gasped.

“I’m fine. My back is playing up. “ Ella told her. “And speaking of playing up.”

Danni sank down on the other sofa.

“Yeah I know. But to be fair they didn’t tell us what was going on until you’d left with Roman, I mean Dad.” Danni told her.

“Uh huh.” Ella muttered looking at her. “Are you seriously going to tell me you weren’t in on it? And Gabby?” she asked her.

Danni pushed a hand through her hair.

“Nope. I’m innocent. For a change, I know.” She murmured.

Ella nodded and looked down at Lily.

“You know kiddo I do believe that you are the only one to not be plotting something.” She said to her baby daughter.

“Dada?” Lily said looking at her.

“Or maybe not.” Ella said with a laugh.

“Mum.” Danni began.

“Danni I don’t really want to hear what you have to say right now. I’m disappointed in all of you.” Ella said slowly.

“Mum.” She said again. “I don’t know how you can be mad at us for trying to get you two talking when Nic gets off Scot free for what she said.” Anger still in her voice.

“I don’t think Nic has got off Scot free Danni, she and Geoff are still not talking, I don’t think Roman has forgiven her and Sophie has stated that she will never speak to her again.” Ella pointed out.

“But you’ve forgiven her and we’re all grounded.” Georgie said from the doorway.

“On the contrary I haven’t spoken to her yet to either forgive her or not.” Ella said and frowned at incorrect grammar in the sentence. “Oh you know what I mean.” She added in a mutter.

“Look.” Georgie began. “I understand when we did was wrong and I’m not arguing the punishment but Sammy not getting his rabbit is a bit harsh mum.”

Ella looked at her son for a moment biting the inside of her cheek not to blurt out that they were still planning on getting the rabbit for him just not for a couple of months.

“It’s your dad’s punishment.” She settled on saying. “And I’ve agreed with him.”

Georgie looked at the floor.

“And nothing we can do will change your minds?” he asked slowly.

”No.” she told him.

She stood up slowly feeling her back protesting and moved over to the playpen putting Lily in there with her toys.

“Danni I’m putting you and Gabby in charge of laundry.” Ella said to her. “I need you to make sure their school uniforms are ready for next week. I’m going upstairs to have a lay down.”

“Are you ok Mum?” Georgie asked quickly.

“I’m fine.” Ella told him, her voice calm. “It’s just my back is a bit sore.” She explained.

He nodded.

“My grounding.” He began.

“Yes?” Ella asked him standing at the foot of the stairs.

“Does it include running with Daddy?” he asked. “Only I need to keep fit for my footy.”

Ella looked at him and grinned.

“Sorry kiddo, you don’t get to stand him up one week and expect to go the next. I think you need to make some apologies don’t you.” She suggested to him watching as his face turned red.

“That was because we were angry at him.” Georgie burst out with.

“I can understand that but telling someone you are angry with them and sorting things out is better than being downright nasty. I suggest that you and the others think about that too.” She explained softly and moved up the stairs into her room. She saw that the window was open and frowned before she saw the flower left on her pillow. Placing it in a glass of water she put it on her bedside cabinet before lying down on the bed and pulling the cover over her She smiled as she drifted to sleep.

“Hello Stranger.” Lee called to him as he walked through the door carrying his bag and a group of boxes in.

“Hey.” Roman replied carrying the empty cardboard boxes through to his bedroom.

“Something I should know about?” she asked him frowning.

“Yes but only if you can keep it a secret for the next two weeks.” He said moving over to the kitchenette to make himself a coffee.

“You and Ella are getting back together aren’t you?” she asked excitedly and then frowned.

“Yes.” He said softly. “Come sit down.” He murmured.

She nodded unable to speak for a minute.

“I’m really pleased for you.” She said eventually her voice breaking slightly.

“Thank you Lee.” He said quietly. “But it gives us something of a problem.”

“I need to find somewhere to live.” She pointed out.

He nodded.

“Exactly. Ella and I talked about it and we want you to come stay with us.” He said.

“I can’t.” she muttered looking over at her sleeping baby.

“Don’t use whatever you’ve called her as an excuse. We do have kids and you get on with Ella.” He pointed out.

“You know what the people in Summer Bay will say don’t you? That you’ve moved your harem in together. “ She told him blinking back tears.

“Like I’m going to care about that Lee and anyway just let them say that in front of Ella.” He added the last and gave a small chuckle.

“I still can’t.” she said stubbornly folding her arms across herself.

“Ok, if you feel like that I’ll let you tell Ella.” He said straight-faced sipping his coffee.

“That is just mean.” She muttered. “How am I going to turn her down?”

“As she has reached that really grumpy stage in her pregnancy I would suggest by postcard from another country." He said and watched her giggle. “The only other place I can suggest is Miles’.” He murmured, suggesting the alternative that Ella had pointed out to him and nearly gasped in shock as he saw a slow tide of colour on her cheeks.

“I couldn’t go there either.” She told him after a noticeable pause.

He nodded saying nothing for the moment.

“Well Lee you have two weeks to decide because I have to give notice on the apartment.” He said quietly.

“Great, Miles or become one of your harem.” She groaned.

“I would go with Miles if you are so afraid people will talk.” He suggested.

“And how is he going to feel having a baby around?” she grouched.

“Probably less lonely.” Roman confessed.

“He’s lonely?” she asked quickly a note coming into her voice.

“His last relationship ended a long time ago and his adoptive son lives in Japan.” Roman said to her. “He’s got that big house and he rattles around in it.”

“But still.” Lee said her resolve crumbling.

“Want me to call him?” Roman asked her.

She looked at him and then gave him a slow nod watching as he pulled out his phone and dialled the number, the call went through to voicemail and he left a message for the other man to give him a call back.

“Alright Woman. What was so important that I had to stop torturing year 12’s with history?” Miles grumbled as Ella walked in front of him into the diner. Although, walk wasn’t really the right word, more of a waddle.

“Miles don’t even think it.” she cautioned before ordering them a coffee each and moving to sit down at a nearby table.

“I wasn’t.” he defended his voice a slightly higher pitch than normal.

“Of course not.” She said raising her eyebrows at him.

He blushed and looked at her.

“Ella you’ve put on lots of weight.” He pointed out before he could stop himself.

“I know.” She said with a sigh. “And I’ve got stretch marks.”

“TMI!” he groaned.

“You started the conversation.” She muttered folding her arms across herself.

“Back to the subject.” He said after a moment sipping at the coffee Colleen had brought over.

“Roman and I think you owe us.” She said looking at him.

He immediately had a guilty expression on his face.

“So what is this going to cost me?” he said.

“Lee.” She murmured the girls name to him and watched him carefully.

“What about her?” he asked carefully keeping his voice neutral.

“Well she needs…” Ella began.

“No.” Miles muttered immediately.

“A place to stay.” Ella continued. “And she likes you too.” She added watching the conflicting emotions on his face.

“Ella I said no.” he told her.

“I know your history.” Ella said softly.

“You don’t know what…” he began angrily.

She pulled out an envelope and placed it on the table. He opened it slowly and gasped when he saw the photo inside.

“Amber right?” she asked him.

He nodded unable to speak.

“I was there before it hit and I took lots of pictures on the beach.” She said softly reaching out and holding his hand. “Roman never told me what happened Miles, not about her or what went on between you and Kirsty.”

He nodded.

“She cheated on me.” He began referring to Kirsty.

“I’m sorry I know how that feels like.” She told him gently.

“And as for Louise and Amber.” He murmured looking at the picture of his daughter before the Tsunami took them away.

“Miles.” Ella said giving his hand a squeeze.

“It was a long time ago and grief has to end sometime.” He said.

“Does it end? There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what Francesca would have been like. She would have been nearly four now.” Ella said quietly.

“Ella.” He murmured.

“I didn’t know that I had Amber’s photo Miles or I would have given it to you a long time ago. Roman only mentioned that he met you after the Tsunami yesterday so I went to storage where I kept my photos.” She explained.

“But you must have taken hundreds of photos,” he muttered gruffly.

“I did. But I remember seeing this little girl speaking to her Daddy.” Ella told him. “And seriously Miles you need a new hairstyle.”

Miles laughed grateful that Ella had broken the sombre mood that had enveloped them.

“Now back to Lee.” She said. “She needs a place to live and you rattle around in that big house.”

“Fine.” He said.

“You agree?” she asked him.

He nodded and lifted out his phone looking at caller ID.

“I suppose your husband is about to guilt me into the same thing?” he asked.

“Probably.” She murmured a light in her eyes.

“Wait a minute if you are looking for a place for Lee does that mean….” He started to say.

“Yes.” She interrupted.

“Then it worked.” He said, and quickly looked around and seeing Leah and Colleen looking at them closely. He lowered his voice and asked. “So why are you landing a guilt trip on me?”

“For the same reason we have grounded the kids. You need to realise that you can’t interfere.” She pointed out albeit gently.

He chuckled.

“A bit like you aren’t interfering?” he asked raising an eyebrow at her.

“I’m not interfering I’m matchmaking.” She said and saw him choke on his coffee.

“Ella Harris.” He said after a moment wiping at his eyes.

“Are you going to sit there and tell me that you haven’t noticed her?” she asked him. “And don’t bother with the age thing ok she’s only 9 years younger than you.”

Miles starred at her.

“You have thought this through haven’t you?” he asked.

She nodded.

“So what is going on between you and your husband.” He asked.

She grinned.

“Well for one thing he isn’t my husband but I’ll ignore the point for the time being. We’re keeping it secret.”

Miles choked on his coffee again.

“In Summer Bay?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Are you mad? Nothing is a secret in Summer Bay.” He pointed out.

She grinned.

“This will be.” She told him a warning note entering her voice.

Miles laughed.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 32

Roman looked up at the trellis before starting the climb. He swore as he caught his hand on a lose nail and then swore again as he foot slipped and he felt his ankle twisting. He reached the top slower than earlier he climbed it and blamed it on climbing the stupid thing in the dark. It had seemed a romantic idea earlier but now that he had a cut hand and his ankle was throbbing he rethought that idea. He reached up and grasped the windowsill groaning and muttering more swearwords as his hand slipped before he got a good enough grip. His feet cartwheeled and he felt the trellis started to come away from the house. He pulled himself up one handed before getting his other hand to grip the windowsill once more and eased up managing at last to climb in through her window.

“Maybe you could try that with less swearing next time?” Ella suggested to him snapping on the light.

He groaned and looked down at his hand seeing the cut across the palm.

“Maybe you should get someone to look at that trellis.” He told her hobbling across the room to her.

She looked at him and giggled.

“Not so romantic now is it?” she asked him.

“Maybe if I hadn’t sprained my ankle or cut my hand.” He mused.

Ella gasped and sat up in the bed before swinging her legs over the side and easing up slowly. She immediately put her hand to her back and gave a small groan.

“El?” he asked moving over to her.

“My back.” She said softly. “Nothing to worry about.” She added at his frown.

She moved into the en suite and brought back a damp flannel and bathed his hand.

“There all better you don’t even need a plaster.” She told him laughing.

“But I do need it kissed better” he said taking her into his arms and putting his lips on hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back passionately.

“Perfect.” He declared looked deep into her eyes. “Is the door locked?”

Ella looked at him and giggled.

“Got one thing on your mind then?”

“I have lots of things on my mind and they involve the bed and you being naked.” He murmured giving her a red-hot look.

She giggled some more and did a slow twirl in the see through nightdress she was wearing.

“This not doing anything for you?” she asked him.

He nodded stripping off his T-shirt and kicking off his trainers. He winced slightly when his ankle throbbed at the movement before turning his attention to the rest of his clothes and stripping them off too. He left them in an untidy muddle on the floor before easing her back to the bed.

“You will not believe what that is doing to me.” He told her.

He reached for her hand and guided it down his body and heard her gasp before he gave a slow moan when she began caressing him.

“Ella Harris I love you.” He told her kissing her slowly before laying her back on the bed and loving her.

“Mummy.” Sammy cried banging on the door.

Ella stirred slowly watching as Roman was pulling on his shorts. She eased out of bed and tugged on her bathrobe.

“Where did my nightdress end up?” she asked him.

He looked around the room and pointed to the wrought iron headboard. She saw her nightdress hanging off the end and giggled.

“Mummy.” Sammy called out again.

Roman came over to her and kissed her before heading for the window.

“Dammit.” He cried out.

“What?” Ella asked quickly.

“The trellis is broken.” He said before looking at her. “Ella stop laughing.” He told her.

“Get in the wardrobe.” She told him.

He looked at her again and gestured to the en suite.

“No they go in there sometimes.” She murmured. “Be quiet.” She told him when he laughed.

“I am not hiding in the wardrobe.” He said. “We’ll just come clean.”

Ella gave him a look and he sighed.

“Fine but I’m only giving in to this because you are pregnant.” He said softly.

She kissed him before she pushed him gently towards the wardrobe. He bent down and picked up his shoes and T-shirt before climbing into the empty part of the wardrobe.

“Mummy were you deep asleep?” Sammy asked her when she opened the door to him.

“Yes Sammy I was.” She murmured and blushed as she looked at the tangle bedding.

“We’ve been waiting for you for ages.” He said. “We’re all dressed for school, look.”

Ella nodded distractedly and moved out of the bedroom with him and down the stairs.

“Mummy.” Sammy said trying to get her attention again.

“What is it?” she asked him.

“I was wondering if I keep my room tidy and do the washing up …” he began.

Ella looked at him and then round the faces of the others.

“No the punishments stand.” She announced to them. “Such a nice try though.”

Sophie grimaced and looked about to say something when Georgie put his hand on her arm.

“Can we go to the diner after school?” Georgie asked. “We want to talk to daddy.”

“It depends are you about to apologise to him?” Ella asked him and he nodded. “Then you can.” She said to them. “I’ll pick you up after school but this is the only outing ok, you are all still grounded.”

Georgie nodded.

“Mummy.” Meggy called out. “Are you and Nic going to talk to each other?”

Ella sighed.

“It’s nice that you are dressed and ready for school a whole hour and a half before you have to go. Have you eaten breakfast?” she asked them smiling.

“I would like some porridge.” Sammy told her quickly.

Ella giggled.

“It isn’t going to work.” She told them. “But well done for effort.” She said.

Sammy looked down at his feet and sighed.

Ella moved over to him and put her arms around him kissing the top of his head.

“Do you want breakfast?” she asked him softly.

He nodded.

“Mummy I’ll be real good please can I have my rabbit?” he asked her.

She felt tears welling in her own eyes and forced herself to remember why they were punished.

“No Sammy.” she said. “It wouldn’t be fair if you weren’t punished like the rest of them would it?”

He looked at her and slowly nodded.

“I suppose so.” He said.

She gave him another kiss before going over to the fridge and taking out milk and juice to start their breakfast. Making them toast and special eggs.

“Thank you mummy.” Sammy said appreciatively.

“Your welcome.” She told him sitting next to him as she drank her milk.

After a time Sophie looked at her.

“If Sammy isn’t getting his rabbit why am I still getting my horse?” she asked, her head tilted to one side just like what Roman did.

Ella looked over at her and immediately saw how much she resembled Roman and grinned.

“Now lets see, the builders have already been paid to do their work so we can’t cancel that. Your sister Gabby rides so she can take the horse out when you are still grounded.” Ella said slowly.

“You mean Gabby gets my horse?” she burst out.

“That logic didn’t work so well for you did it?” Ella asked her.

Sophie stood up ready to run out of the room and caught the others looking at her and she sat back down again.

“For you to realise the effect your stunt had on us and how you involved other people you need to have effective punishment because the next time you get an idea to try something dangerous it may just get one of you hurt.” Ella told them and saw looks of shook mirrored on their faces.

“But it wasn’t dangerous.” Sophie blurted out.

“How did you get from the stable to Miles place Sophie?” Ella asked her. “And what if there was a real emergency that Charlie had to deal with while she was talking to me on the phone?”

Sophie looked down at the floor.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly to her.

“I’m sure you are now you realise things could have easily spiralled out of control.”

“I hitched a lift with one of the stable hands.” she said. “But I’ve known him for a really long time.” she added when she saw her mother’s face pale.

“Sophie Nicole Harris if I ever catch you hitching again I will spank you so hard you can’t sit down for a month let alone a week.” Ella said to her. “Come here.” She instructed her daughter.

Sophie gulped and walked over to her and then gasped in surprise when Ella hugged her. “Promise me you won’t do that again?” she asked her.

Sophie shook her head.

“I promise.” she said quickly. “I’m sorry Mum.” She added tears beginning to fall down her face.

“It’s ok.” Ella whispered to her. “Time to get ready for school.” She said to them. “Wash face and hands and brush teeth.”

They began moving out just as Danni walked into the kitchen with Gabby.

“What’s up with you?” Gabby was asking her.

“Danni shook her head.

“I had a bad dream.” She murmured. “Morning Ella. Did you cook?” Danni asked seeing the pots around the table.

“Yes.” Ella said. “I can cook you know.”

Danni nodded.

“It’s just that we aren’t used to it.” she explained.

“Want us to clear up for you?” Gabby asked to draw attention away from Danni’s comment.

“Yes.” Ella said. “Who’s got the school run?”

“That’s me.” Danni murmured.

“What did you dream then?” Gabby asked handing her a coffee.

Danni sank into a chair.

“I dreamt the rose bush outside my window had come alive and was swearing at me.” Danni said bending down to check the books in her bag.

Ella blushed and eased up out of the chair.

“What a weird dream.” Gabby said clearing the table.

“I know and when I woke up this morning the trellis had fallen down in the night.”

“That’s probably what caused the dream.” Ella suggested.

Gabby nodded.

“Either that or the roses are out to get you.” She murmured and grinned when Danni paled.

“I’m supposed to be babysitting for Mira this afternoon.” Gabby said. “Is it ok to bring her here?” she asked Ella.

“I’m taking the kids to see Roman at the diner later so I’ll pick them up from school. If you’ve got Mira do you want Lily?” she asked knowing the two loved to sit and play together.

Gabby nodded.

“Makes it easier.” She said.

“Don’t forget the builders will be wandering around today.” Ella warned them.

“Oh good, you could probably get them to fix the trellis.” Danni suggested.

“I might just do that.” Ella murmured and escaped before she giggled.

She made it to her bedroom and saw that the bed had been made.

“Hello.” She said softly.

Roman pushed open the wardrobe door and looked at her.

She eased down on to the bed and put a pillow over her face as she began to giggle helplessly.

“El?” he whispered.

“Danni. Dreamt. Swearing rosebushes. Out to get her.” she gasped out.

Roman looked at her and put his hand over his mouth.

“Pass me a pillow.” He gasped out.

She nodded and tossed a pillow at him. He covered his face as he too joined in with her laughter.

Ella looked up after a moment before wiping at her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “But that was so funny.”

He nodded stepping out of the wardrobe and walking over to her.

“Do you want to let on we are seeing each other?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Nope. This is kind of fun.” She admitted. “We are coming to see you this afternoon by the way.”

He nodded.

“Are we still arguing?” he asked.

“Depends.” She said with a shrug.

“On what?” he asked after a moment looking at her and feeling like he was drowning in her blue eyes.

“On how much make up sex we get.” She told him.

He laughed again and leaned over to kiss her.

“I’m just concerned…” he began.

“That maybe we’ll touch on something that will make us argue for real?” she asked and saw him nod. “Well if we do it will be nothing because we are making this work and we love each other.” she explained slowly. “I want you home with us.”

He smiled putting his arms around her and holding her.

“That’s good to know now how do I get out of here?” he asked.

“The kids are off to school you can disappear then and where did you park your car?” she asked him frowning.

He grinned.

“I walked over the back.” He said. “I may need a lift to pick up my car though.”

“Why?” she asked and then exclaimed “Oh my god.” As she noticed the bright blue bruising on his ankle.

“Yup. Can’t think why I didn’t notice it last night.” He said watching her blush.

She leaned over and kissed him.

“I need to see to Lily and then get the kids off and I’ll be back.” She promised.

“Ok don’t rush, I don’t need to be at the diner until later.” He said.

“Really?” she asked.

He nodded.

She looked at him and then the bed.

“Oh.” he said and grinned at her.

She blushed.

“Kids.” He said.

She nodded and moved out of the bedroom.

He heard her talking to Lily and smiled.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 33

“Hello.” Ella murmured to Roman as she ushered the children into the diner.

“What are you doing here?” he asked coming from around the counter and looking at her and then the kids.

She gave him a look.

“The kids wanted to see you.” She said after a pause.

He gave her a nod before looking over at the children.

“I wanted to apologise for not coming running with you.” Georgie said quickly.

“I was upset.” Roman told him. “But now you’re here it doesn’t matter.” He explained. “Are you staying?” he asked Ella.

She nodded and moved over to a chair.

“Daddy I got 19 in my spellings.” Sammy said to him.

“That’s good Sammy.” Roman told his son. “What word did you have trouble with?”

“Rabbits.” Sammy said with a quick grin.

“Very funny Sammy.” Ella told her son with a groan.

“Daddy.” Sophie began.

“Yes Sophie.” he murmured.

“I’m sorry.” She said looking at him.

He nodded.

“That’s good to hear. Sounds like you’ve learnt your lesson.” Roman said to her and gave her a kiss.

“Sit down kids.” Ella said softly.

They moved over to the table and eased around the bench looking expectantly at their mother.

Ell smiled and looked over at Roman.

“Think they deserve some food?” she asked him.

“We can’t keep starving them.” he murmured.

They looked over to the kids and smiled.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked them.

“Burger and fries.” Sammy said quickly. “And a soda.”

“Sammy.” Ella murmured his name and he looked down before looking back at his dad.

“Please.” He added.

Georgie laughed.

“The same for me too please Daddy.” He asked.

Sophie picked up a menu and looked at it.

“Meggy?” Ella asked easing into a seat next to them.

“I’m not really hungry.” She said quietly.

“What is up Meggy?” Ella asked her.

“Nothing Mummy.” Meggy said.

“How about a milkshake Megs?” Roman asked her.

She nodded.

“Ok, thanks Daddy.” She agreed.

“Shuffle round kids.” Ella told them. “Come sit next to me Meggy.”

Meggy nodded and swapped places so she was next to her. Ella placed her hand on her forehead and sighed.

“Meggy sweetie.” She murmured softly.

“Temperature?” Roman asked.

Ella nodded.

“Is your throat sore babes?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I’m tired Mummy.”

“She did a lot of running earlier.” Sophie said.

“How about I take you home for a nap on the sofa with me and Daddy brings everyone home later?” Ella suggested.

Meggy nodded and looked disappointed.

“It’s ok.” Sophie told her. “I’ll come too.”

“No, you stay here.” Ella said. “Me and Meggy could do with some time and Daddy needs a visit. Thank you for the offer Sophie.”

Sophie blushed and looked down.

Ella led Meggy out of the diner resisting the urge to kiss Roman on the way out and settled her into the car and set off. After a few minutes Meggy looked up.

“You are going the wrong way Mummy.” She said to her.

“Am I?” Ella asked her.

Meggy nodded and looked out of the window.

“Where are we going Mummy?” she asked quickly.

“Don’t know.” Ella said smiling at Meggy.

“Is it a surprise?” she asked perking up and sounding excited.

Ella heard her phone beep with an incoming text and knew it was from Roman asking if they were ok. She smiled even without reading it.

Pulling slowly into a parking space she turned off the engine and took her phone out to look smiling when she was proved correct. She replied saying they were ok and had decided to go for a drive instead.

“Come on sweetie.” Ella called to Meggy.

She eased out of the passenger seat and waited until Ella joined her and took hold of her hand before setting off.

“Mummy?” she said quickly seeing where they were.

“Shush.” Ella told her and opened the door to the pet store.

“Mrs Harris.” The assistant called out.

“Hey there. Are they ready?” she asked.

The assistant nodded.

“I’ll just get Andy to help you load them in the car. Did the cage and run arrive today?”

“Yes thanks.” Ella murmured. “I was thinking maybe going for a guinea pig too.”

Meggy squealed.

“Mummy I’ll love you forever.” she cried out.

“Sounds as though someone is excited about getting a pet.” The assistant said.

Ella nodded.

“Can I look around?” Meggy asked.

Ella grinned.

“Yes you can but no buying anything ok?” Ella bent down and kissed her daughter.

Meggy smiled and walked around the shop. She stopped in front of the fish tank watching the coloured fish and Ella grinned.

“Looks like you will be buying something else.” The assistant murmured.

Ella chuckled.

“I don’t think so we have cats.”

“We do a line in covered tanks.” She pointed out grinning.

“Hey, I have the rabbits here.” Andy called out.

“Thanks Andy, they would like the guinea pig too.” The assistant told him.

“Right I’ll leave these here and go get him.” Andy said moving back to the cage and fetching the mammal. “I was a bit worried he might pine without the rabbits.”

“Rabbits?” Meggy picked up on. “As in two?”

Ella nodded.

“As in two and the guinea pig.” She confirmed.

“Even after we were so horrible?” Meggy said slowly.

“They were ordered before then.” Ella knelt down slowly and looked at her daughter.

“Mummy I love you.” Meggy said.

“That’s good because I love you too Meggy my girl.” She told her daughter and gave her a hug.

She let her daughter go and eased up slowly placing her hand on her back.

“Right I have these. Shall we go to your car?” Andy lifted the two pet carriers up.

“What about food?” Meggy asked.

“We have it already. Your daddy came over today and set the cage up.” Ella told Meggy. “We just need to take Thumper and Thumper and squeak home.”

“Those are silly names Mummy.” Meggy told her with a giggle.

Andy laughed following behind them as Ella led them to her car. She opened up the back and he put the pet carriers in.

“Thanks.” Ella said to him.

He nodded and moved back to the shop.

Ella shut up the back of the car and pulled her phone out. She opened it up and dialled his number.

“Hey you. We’re just about done here.” Roman answered.

“We went for a drive. Thumper is coming home with us.” Ella told him smiling.

“Are you sure?” Roman asked her.

“Yeah. Someone has already cheered up.” Ella said. “See you soon.”

Roman looked around him and moved away from Leah before he spoke next.

“Love you.” He said softly.

“Me too.” Ella replied laughing.

She hung up the phone and looked at Meggy.

“In you get babes.” She told her. “Let’s get home.”

“Was that Daddy?” Meggy asked her once they were seated in the car.

Ella nodded.

“You are smiley Mummy.” Meggy said wisely.

“That I am. “ Ella confirmed. “Because we have thumpers.”

Meggy giggled.

“Are we really going to call them thumper?” she asked.

Ella smiled at her.

“That’s up to you and Sammy.” she told her.

“Me?” Meggy asked. “Me?” she asked again in a higher pitched voice.

Ella nodded pulling out of the parking spot and heading home.

“Yes.” Ella told her. “Over for you and one for Sammy and Georgie can have the guinea pig.”

Meggy nodded.

“Maybe Georgie should be given the rabbit and I’ll have the guinea pig.” Meggy offered thinking that her brother might be upset.

“I don’t think he will be too fussed babes. “ Ella said softly.

Meggy nodded and looked in the back at the rabbits. One was pale and the other was dark. The guinea pig was black and white.

“They are talking to each other Mummy.” Meggy said.

Ella nodded looking in the mirror before indicating to go down their road. She pulled into the driveway after a while and saw Roman’s car in the driveway already. He was waiting for her on the front veranda and she grinned before pinning a neutral expression on her face.

She slowed the car to a stop and switched off the engine. Meggy had her seatbelt off and had vaulted out of the car. She ran over to Roman and he caught her swinging her up in the air.

“Felling better Meggy girl?” he asked her as she giggled.

“Daddy where is Sammy?” she asked.

“Go find him.” Roman instructed and put her down grinning as she ran off. He looked over at Ella and moved towards her. She was still sitting in the car and she eased out slowly.

“Your back?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“El when is your next check up.” He said quickly.

“You’ve got the chance of sneaking a kiss and instead you are nagging me about my health.” Ella said grumbling.

He chuckled.

“Answer the question.” He instructed.

“It’s on the fridge.” She told him. “My appointment card.”

He nodded and leaned over to kiss her briefly on the lips.

“See I can do both.” He grinned at her and eased back moving to the back of the car and opening it. He looked at the rabbits and then saw the guinea pig.

“I knew it.” he muttered.

“Well he would have been left alone.” Ella told him quickly.

“Ella.” Roman said softly.

She blushed and then grinned as Sammy came running out.

“Mummy?” he asked coming round to the back of the car and looking at the rabbits. He looked at her and then the rabbits again before bursting into tears.

“Hey Samson.” Roman said to his son.

“You got my bunny.” He said running to his mummy and putting his arms around her.

She eased down and picked him up hugging him and ignoring the frown that Roman gave her.

“Now shall we put them in their home?” she asked Sammy and he nodded enthusiastically.

Roman moved over to them and took Sammy out of her arms and carried him and the rabbits round to the back. The other kids had gathered there waiting by the rabbit hutch. Roman placed the rabbits inside before he went back to the car to fetch the other pet carrier. He was back a moment later and put the guinea pig in too, watching as they greeted each other.

Ella watched them and smiled.

“Ok?” she asked them.

Sammy nodded.

“Mummy thank you.” Sophie said quickly.

“They need names.” Ella cautioned before going in the house she heard them talking about names and grinned. Roman followed her and stopped looking at the fridge before heading out to the front.

“I have to go.” He said.

She nodded.

He looked around and took the opportunity to kiss her again before he went out the front. She watched his car start up and she smiled before heading to the lounge.

“Hey Mum.” Gabby called out.

“Hello Gabby.” Ella said sinking on to the sofa. “How’s Lily?”

“She’s ok.” Gabby said. “Danni is going to be late she’s studying at the library.”

Ella nodded tiredly.

“And Nic is coming over to fetch Mira later.” Gabby said biting her lip.

“No problem.” Ella told her.

She closed her eyes and leaned back against the cushions. Within minutes she was asleep.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 34

Ella woke slowly hearing voices and she eased up groaning as her back protested.

“You need to get that checked out.” Danni muttered.

Ella glared at her.

“You are as bad as your father.” She muttered and stood up.

“Hello.” Nic said anxiously from the hallway.

“Hey Nic.” Ella called out.

She moved over to the other woman conscious that they were being watched closely.

“El.” Nic said looking at the floor.

“Have they offered you a drink Nic?” Ella asked her. “Or are my kids forgetting their manners?”

Meggy grinned and came over to Nic.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked politely.

Nic looked at Ella and gave a cautious smile.

“Yes please.” She told Meggy.

“What do you want, only I’m not allowed to use the kettle yet so it’ll have to be juice.” Meggy replied smiling at her.

“Juice would be lovely.” Nic told her blinking back tears.

Ella laughed.

“My gracious daughter.” She said referring to the way Meggy made the only option juice.

They watched as Meggy moved into the kitchen and poured out the drink.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Ella said moving up the stairs.

Gabby grinned.

“You’re not supposed to use the waddle word apparently.” She told Nic as they watched Ella’s slow progress.

“I heard that.” Ella shouted out.

Nic gave a slow laugh before sobering.

“Here you go Nic.” Meggy handed her a glass of orange juice. “Come and see Thumpers.” She instructed pulling her hand and taking her out into the garden to the children’s area. The swing set had been moved so that the Rabbit cage and the run connected to it would be in partial shade and away from the main play area where it would get noisy.

“Oh wow Megs.” Nic said looking at the rabbits and then the guinea pig. “Angel and Robbie arte going to be so jealous.”

Meggy grinned.

“That one is mine.” She pointed out the lighter coloured rabbit. “I haven’t named him yet. Mummy has called them thumpers.”

Nic smiled.

“I wish I’d had pets.” Nic said softly.

“You can share my rabbit.” Meggy suggested. “I wasn’t feeling very well and Mummy took me with her to pick them up. The builders have nearly finished the stables so Sophie will get her horse.”

“Ok, who gave my daughter caffeine.” Ella asked coming over to her daughter and giving her a kiss.

“Silly Mummy.” Meggy giggled.

“Thank you Meggy. “ Ella told her. “Me and Nic are going to sit out here and talk a while. Go tell everyone to stop eavesdropping.”

Meggy grinned and ran off to the house.

“Ella.” Nic said turning round and looking at her.

“We aren’t going anywhere Nic. Me or the kids.” Ella said. “This is home for us.”

Nic looked down.

“So you’ll have to get over what you said because if you don’t then you’ll just feel guilty and you’ll ruin your relationship with your brothers and sisters.” Ella pointed out.

Nic’s head shot up.

“I don’t have a relationship with them Ella they hate me.”

“Don’t be silly. They could never hate you.” Ella said quietly. “Who looked after them when they were small? Who has always been there for them? Sophie looks up to you.”

“Does she?” Nic asked. “Because I kind of got the impression that she wants me dead.”

“Don’t worry about that she says that to me too.” Ella murmured walking over and putting her arm around Nic’s shoulders.

“Oh Ella,.” Nic sighed before bursting into tears.

“Tell me.” Ella instructed.

“Geoff has left me.” She moaned through her sobs..

“Silly man.” Ella said immediately.

“He’s told me to fix things but I don’t know how.”

“Uh huh.” Ella said to her leading her over to the bench on the veranda and sitting down, Nic eased down beside her and looked out on the garden.

“He kept coming over here El and making sure the house was ok.” Nic said softly.

“I know.” Ella confessed. “Your dad and I did a lot of talking.”

“Oh.” Nic exclaimed.

Ella nodded a grin on her face.

“Why did you come back Ella?” Nic asked finally tracing a semi circle with her foot on the wooden decking.

“Because I missed him.” Ella answered.

“And I messed it all up.” Nic said quickly.

“Why did you think I was using him Nic? By what stretch of the imagination would you think I would get with him and then dump him because he was no longer needed?” Ella asked finally a note of real anger in her voice.

Nic flinched and then squared her shoulders back and looked at Ella.

“Aden said you had a fall and it made you decide to come home.” She explained.

Ella laughed.

“Yes.” She told her. “Because I found out I was pregnant.”

Nic looked up.

“The way he said it you knew that you were.” She said and frowned at what she’d said.

“Nic, I was ill, I lost weight, I was so tired and I was looking after all the children. I had no reason to suspect that I was pregnant. When I was in London I had a funny turn and fell down some steps. I woke up in hospital and they did a pregnancy test then. Your dad knows all this by the way.” Ella told her.

“He does?” Nic questioned.

“Yes he does. He knows that it’s true we wouldn’t have come back so soon had I not been pregnant.” Ella said to her.

“And I’ve ruined things.” Nic said again.

“No you haven’t because the kids are ok and Roman and I are sort of talking at the moment. So forget it Nic. Obviously I’m not thrilled with what you said but its over now. Forget it.”

Nic looked up at her and sighed.

“I need to go now.” She told Ella.

“Nic I mean it. Let it go ok.” Ella said easing up.

Nic nodded finally and stood up.

“I’m going to see Alyssa tomorrow.” She said quietly. “For afternoon tea.” She added in a posh accent.

“Has your Dad been in touch with her do you know?” Ella asked curiously.

Nic shook her head.

“I think she is upset with him.” Nic said to her.

“Really?” Ella asked surprised.

Nic sighed and looked down the garden before speaking again.

“I told her you were divorced.”

Ella laughed.

“So pregnant and ex wife must be driving her nuts.”

“Ella why aren’t you mad at me?” Nic said to her. “I ruined you and dad getting back together and I made things tough with Alyssa. And I hurt Sophie.”

“Sophie is tougher than she looks and you two will sort it out. She is still best friends with Angel.” Ella said softly. “And well, things work out for the best sometimes.”

“Maybe.” Nic said sadly.

“Give me a hand up daughter.” Ella instructed.

Nic gave a hiccuping laugh and held her hands out to Ella. She grabbed hold and moved herself off the bench.

“You need to get your back looked at.” Nic said after a minute.

Ella nodded.

“I have an appointment to see Rachel soon.” She said with a groan when Nic gave her a look.

“When?” she asked.

“Don’t know.” Ella shrugged. “This week some time.”

“Uh huh Step-mama.” Nic said.

They looked at each other and grinned as they hugged.

Roman looked at Ella lying by the side of the swimming pool and smiled before walking silently down to the garden and joining her. He eased his hand carefully into the cool water and scooped some into the palm of his hand before stepping over to her and allowing it to drip on to her sun warmed exposed belly.

"Roman Harris I am so going to kill you." She screamed before even opening her eyes as the cold water woke her up. She struggled ungainly to sit up and looked at him.

"Sleeping in the sun is not good for you." He told her grinning wickedly.

"I wasn't sleeping." She lied. "I was just lying here with my eyes closed."

"And Snoring." He told her.

"I do not snore!" she exclaimed glaring at him. "Take that back or else."

He grinned at her before bending down and placing a kiss on her lips.

"Wait." She murmured pulling back. "What if someone should see?"

Roman stood up and smiled at her before pulling off his T-shirt. He

continued to grin when he stripped of his shorts and kicked of his trainers.

With a last cheeky grin he peeled down his boxers and stood naked in front

of her.

"Are you going to join me?" he chuckled as she blushed.

"Roman, the builders are here." She protested.

"And you dressed in that red hot bikini too." He murmured. "Are you trying

to tease them?"

She looked down and then back at him.

"This is the only one that fits." She said carefully keeping her voice

neutral.

"From where I'm standing that would be more barely fits." He said casting

his eyes over the triangles of material.

"Laugh it up Soldier." She glared at him some more. "Your baby is causing

these to get bigger by the day." She began gesturing with her hand to her

increased upper dimensions.

"I have noticed." Roman pointed out ungallantly.

Ella stood up and glared at him ignoring the hand he put out to help her and

placed her hands on her hips.

"And if that wasn't bad enough my hips." She ground out.

"What about your hips?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"Are a size bigger because of your baby." She said.

He nodded.

"And you've gone curvier. I think I like it." He said thinking of the way

she filled out her jeans these days.

"You pig." She said and placed her hands flat on his chest as she began to

push him into the swimming pool behind him. She saw his arms shoot out and

before she knew it he'd grabbed hold of her and she was tumbling forward

towards the cool water. She emitted a high pitched squeal as she felt the

cold water on her warm skin. Her weight combined with his and he pitched to

the bottom of the pool gasping with shock himself he gulped in a mouthful of

chemical tasting water before he could expel it.

Breaking the surface he pulled in a large breath and pulled them to the

side of the pool.

"I hate you." She muttered.

He grinned at her.

"You should have known better." He told her. "How many times have you tried

that and succeeded?" he murmured before coughing.

He looked over at her struggling to get her bikini top back in place.

"Don't bother." He said. "I'm only going to take it off in a minute anyway."

"Oh no you aren't." she all but shouted at him casting frantic looks about, a haunted look entering her eyes.

"The builders aren't here I sent them to the diner for lunch." He said

ignoring what was left unspoken between them.

She shook her head and swam over to the steps before pulling herself out and

making for her towel.

"El." He called.

She shook her head again keeping her eyes averted.

He swore and placing his palms flat on the side launched himself out of the

water and walked over to her.

"Ella." He said again softly placing a finger under her chin and lifting her

head up. "Talk to me." He begged.

"I can't." she told him.

"Can't talk to me?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"No, can't do that." She bit out her teeth chattering. "Not anymore."

"Because?" He asked.

"Stuff happened." She told him.

He leaned over and kissed her stilling her trembling lips.

"Stuff we can't forget." He said.

"I keep trying." She told him.

He eased down beside her and placed his arms around her pulling her close to

him.

"Then stop trying. Stop forcing it. Just remember how good it is to be in the sun. No one can see you except me and if you aren't comfortable then it's ok." He said stroking her wet hair away from her face.

She looked at him and sighed.

"You aren't upset?" she asked him.

He nodded.

"Of course I am because you are." He said. "Not for any other reason." He added knowing that was a lie. Of course he was upset that his beautiful wife wasn't comfortable with something she used to be able to do. Knowing that it was his fault was

horrible and he almost cringed with guilt.

Ella looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“You hate it.” she told him.

He looked at his beautiful wife and sighed again before slowly nodding.

“Why?” she asked him.

“Because I feel guilty. “ he told her his hand resting on her face, his palm cupping her cheek.

“The Island?” she asked.

He nodded once more.

“Roman.” She sighed his name before turning her head and placing a kiss on the palm of his hand.

She eased back ad put her arms up behind her head and she loosened the ties that held the top in place letting the bikini drop to the side of them.

“Ella no.” he gasped out.

She gave him a fleeting smile.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” she asked her voice tremulous.

He leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

“Ella I love you.” He said softly.

“Love you.” She told him.

He kissed her once more and felt her pull him down next to her.

“Mind if I just hold you for a while?” he asked her.

She shook her head and grinned when she felt his hand immediately placed on her round stomach.

“Pleased with yourself?” she asked him.

He leaned up on his arm and looked at her.

“Well yeah.” He said eventually. “My baby.” He added his voice full of wonder and pride and love.

“Maybe.” She said leaning back.

“Ella Harris you so did not say that.” He murmured.

She giggled.

Leaning forward he kissed her slowly.

“Want to go in the house?” she asked him.

He gave her a look and grinned before standing up.

She held up her hands to him and he reached down to help her up watching as she stood slowly.

“Ella.” He began.

She gave him a look from under her lashes before she led him into the house and up the stairs.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 35

Ella drove carefully to the address she had been given. She pulled slowly into a spare parking spot and saw Nic’s car parked a little way away and grinned to herself. Easing out from behind the wheel she stretched feeling her back protesting the two-hour drive. Checking her phone she saw a couple of messages on there from Roman and she smiled as she replied to them. She’d left him baby-sitting and she’d warned him that Lily was in one of her moods. Of course she hadn’t told him that she could climb out of the playpen like it was an obstacle from an army training course. Stepping carefully on the gravel that scattered the parking lot she walked into the restaurant and immediately saw Nic with Alyssa. Avoiding the Maitre ’d she stepped confidently over to the table.

“Hello.” Ella said in greeting.

Alyssa looked up a strange expression on her face.

“Ella.” She murmured disdainfully.

“Step-mama?” Nic exclaimed questioningly before glancing around the smart restaurant.

“Hey Nic.” Ella grinned at her and eased down in a spare chair.

“Won’t you join us?” Alyssa said somewhat sarcastically.

“Thanks, I don’t mind if I do.” Ella accepted as though it were a real invitation. “So what were you talking about before I came here?”

Nic grimaced and looked at the linen tablecloth.

“You and my son.” Alyssa told her bluntly.

“Ah.” Ella grinned. “I can see why you’ve lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. No longer an easy target with me actually sitting here.”

Nic gasped and looked from one to the other.

“You see Nic it’s like this, what you said was not very nice but at the end of the day I can understand why you said it.” Ella began. “But what I can’t understand is why you wouldn’t come and see us afterwards to apologise. Because waiting a week and letting things build up into this is not like you.”

Nic paled and cast a startled look to Alyssa before looking back at Ella.

“So.” Ella continued. ”It made me wonder just who was causing this to escalate.”

Alyssa made a small betraying sound placing her hand on her throat.

“You are good at that.” Ella commented. “The little shocked routine. You did it when Roman asked you why you paid Natalie.”

Nic eased back into her chair and looked at Ella.

“Paid my mother?” she asked.

Ella nodded.

“Yes.” She confirmed. “Anything to add Alyssa?”

The older woman sat up straighter and shot a hateful look at Ella.

“Why do you have to interfere?” she asked bitterly.

“Mess with my family and I get annoyed.” Ella told her. “And why Alyssa? What made you do it?”

“Pay that little tramp?” Alyssa sneered ignoring Nic. “Because she was you know. It wasn’t Roman she was after.”

Ella reached under the table and took hold of Nic’s hand giving it a comforting squeeze as she saw her blink back tears.

“Who?” Ella asked softly.

“Marco.” Alyssa said finally.

“I can see why that would be upsetting.” Ella sympathised. “But Nic is Roman’s daughter and because of you he missed out on seeing her grow up. And even worse you want to keep pushing things so that your little secret doesn’t come out. Does Marco know the real reason you paid Natalie? And why would Roman think you had paid her to have an abortion? Some other piece of gossip to stop him looking too deeply into things?“

Alyssa nodded and looked at her granddaughter.

“I know that she is Roman’s daughter. But for years I couldn’t let him find her because I just didn’t know.” She said after a long pause her eyes misting over. “I’ve had twenty years of holding the secret in and I had to protect them, you see. And for each day that Roman missed seeing his daughter I was tortured by losing out on my son and my grandchild.”

“Time to move on. You have Roman back now. And some wonderful grandkids to spoil.” Ella added gently.

“How can you be so kind?” Alyssa asked. “After the way I’ve acted?”

“Easily.” Ella shrugged. “Nic is loved and forgiven so it wouldn’t be right to hold a grudge against you. And as for Roman, well he may be a little mad for a while but he’ll get over it. Now then does this place do cream teas and scones?”

Nic laughed wiping away the last of her tears.

“It’s not for me its for the baby.” Ella defended.

Alyssa gave a taught smile.

“Has Roman been in touch?” Ella asked her changing the subject and keeping the conversation going.

Alyssa nodded.

“Really?” Ella murmured. “Not like him to actually do something without a lot of nagging.”

Alyssa grinned.

“I know.” She said. “He would never pick his things up off the floor without a week of us telling him.”

“You should see him now.” Nic said. “He’s a neatness freak.”

Ella gave Nic a smile before nodding acknowledgement.

“So what are you and my son planning to do?” Alyssa asked after they had ordered.

“Planning?” Ella asked her.

“Yes, it’s obvious to a blind man that you two are crazy about each other.” Alyssa said giving her a sly look.

Ella grinned and took a sip of the tea before catching Nic looking at her.

“No.” she said. “Roman and I are not getting back together.”

Nic nodded still grinning.

“Of course you aren’t.” she said to her. She turned to Alyssa. “They always get back together.”

Ella laughed.

“Not this time Nic.” She murmured.

Alyssa looked over at her granddaughter.

“Nic I’m sorry.” She said suddenly.

“Its ok.” she told her.

“No it isn’t. I should have told Marco what was going on and not let things get so bad.” Alyssa said quickly as though her courage would desert her if she didn’t get the words out.

“Its ok.” Nic said again. “If my step-mama can forgive me the horrible stuff I said then I can forgive you. I know Natalie isn’t a saint but she kept me when other women would have given me up.”

Ella looked at them and gave a small smile before looking at her watch.

“I have to go.” She told them. “Got to get the children to bed.”

Nic laughed.

“I’ll believe you.” She said softly. “That it is the children you are thinking about getting to bed.”

Ella blushed.

“Nic I hate you.” She told her leaning over and giving her a kiss on her cheek.

“See you later Step-mama.” Nic told her grinning once more. “And say hello to my dad.” She added.

“It’s a secret.” Ella groaned. “Don’t tell anyone.” She begged huskily.

“Oh God, El, you know I can’t keep secrets.” Nic muttered with a groan.

Alyssa laughed.

“So you are getting back together?” she asked.

Ella gave another groan and then grinned.

“Roman is the only man I’ve ever really loved Alyssa.” She told her quietly.

“And my son loves you obviously.” Alyssa told her. “He watches you even when you are in the same room.” she began.

“He watches over me too.” Ella interrupted her. “He’s my hero.” She added and blushed.

Ella groaned once more before standing up and moving slowly out of the restaurant. She climbed into her car and began the long drive home. The children claimed her attention as soon as she walked in the door.

“Do what you needed to do?” Roman asked her and she nodded.

“Thank you for looking after them.” she said formally and saw him hide a grin.

“Can Daddy stay over?” Sophie asked quickly.

“No.” Ella said and almost giggled at the disappointment on Roman’s face. “Say good night to him please.”

Sophie pouted and looked over at Georgie.

“Night daddy,” Sammy said quickly.

Roman bent sown and picked Sammy up giving him a hug.

“Night.” He said to him giving him a kiss. He did the same with all of them before turning to Ella as they moved to the door. “Thanks for the warning about Lily.” He said with the merest hint of sarcasm.

“She keep you busy?” Ella asked him smiling.

“Yeah, so I gave her an energy drink with lots of caffeine in to return the favour.” He muttered and watched as she laughed.

She looked around carefully before standing on tiptoe to kiss him.

“Goodnight.” She told him softly.

“Not so fast El, either I get a decent kiss or you say those words.” He said laughing.

“Decent?” she asked.

He nodded one eye on the stairs in case any of the kids decided to come down.

“Like this.” He said demonstrating by taking her into his arms and kissing her hard on the lips his tongue teasing her mouth open before he plundered the depths.

She eased back and looked at him.

“I love you.” She told him.

“Does that mean you don’t want another kiss?” he asked.

“No.” she told him. “Now go home.”

He laughed and looked down at her hand clutching his shirt.

“I will if you let me go.”

“Oh.” She said realising and letting go of the bunched material in her hand.

He laughed and walked out to his car.

Sometime late Ella eased out of the car and moved into the building where Roman lived. She grinned as she thought of his surprise when he saw her. The children were asleep with Danni and Gabby keeping a check on them. She walked into the elevator and went up to the third floor. Leona opened the door for her. She had her baby daughter in her arms.

“Named her yet?” Ella asked the other woman.

“Millie.” Leona said. “But it might be something different tomorrow.”

“I like Millie, and so will Miles.”

Lee gasped and glared at her.

“I so wasn’t thinking of him.” she muttered.

“Of course not.” Ella told her.

“Ella, how come Roman hasn’t killed you yet.” Lee snapped and turned to walk away.

“Because I’m always right and he knows it.” she said moving over to Roman’s room. and she heard Lee laughing.

“Millie.” She said sounding out the name as she looked at her daughter. “I think you like that name.” She told her softly moving into her own room. “Let’s hope the neighbours aren’t too noisy eh, little one.” She added and watched as Ella blushed before stepping into Roman’s room.

He was facing the other way and she could tell form his deep even breathing that he was asleep. Undressing silently she pulled on her nightdress and climbed in beside him.

“Ella.” He mumbled.

She chuckled.

“I can see why you haven’t been dating if you call everyone woman by my name.” Ella told him.

“Not everyone wears your perfume.” He told her rolling over and looking at her.

She raised her eyebrows as she glared at him.

“Roman Harris.” She muttered his name.

He reached up and brushed her hair from her face.

“I love you.” He told her. “What did I do to earn this visit?”

She giggled and kissed him.

“I thought I should come tell you about my secret mission.” She told him softly.

He smiled at her.

“Before or after we make love.” He questioned.

She giggled once more blushing at the question.

“Ella Harris.” He said quietly.

She eased down beside him and told him about Nic and Geoff splitting up feeling his arm tightening around her as he held her.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” he asked softly.

“Because she was too embarrassed about it.” Ella explained. “There is more.” She added and took a deep breath before telling him about his mother and Natalie. She heard him swear and then felt him pull away form her.

“Roman?” she asked.

“I have to see Nic.” He told her pulling on his clothes.

“It’s late.” She said to him. “ See her in the morning.”

He shook his head.

“No tonight.” He muttered wondering over to the dresser and picking up his phone and keys. He walked back over to her in the bed and kissed her.

“I won’t be long.” He said ignoring her glare.

“Roman Harris.” She called out.

He turned at the door and grinned at her.

“Keep my bed warm.” He instructed “there’s a good girl.”

She watched him go and bit back the swearwords she was about to utter and stood up peeling back the covers. Grabbing her car keys from her handbag she moved out of the apartment and into the elevator.

“She’d keep his bed warm alright.” She muttered to herself as she drove home.

Pulling up outside the house she left the engine running while she went inside and rummaged under the sink.

“Er Ella.” Gabby said from the lounge.

“I’ve got it.” Ella proclaimed and took it out with her.

“What was Ella doing?” Danni asked.

“I don’t think we want to know.” Gabby proclaimed.

“Wasn’t she wearing her nightdress?” she questioned Gabby and saw her nod.

“I think that’s part of the reason why we are better off not knowing.” She said quietly.

“Running around Summer Bay in the middle of the night in her nightdress? Are you mad that’s the sort of thing we NEED to know about.” Danni said with a chuckle.

Ella let herself back into Roman’s apartment and eased into the bedroom tidying up her clothes and putting them in her bag as the kettle boiled. She walked back into the kitchen and filled up the hot water bottle screwing the top on tightly before going back and placing it in Roman’s bed and tugging up the covers over it. Turning around she moved out of the apartment and over to the elevator climbing inside and heading down. The doors opened at the bottom and she stepped out moving to her car and driving home.

“There’s a good girl.” She muttered walking into the house.

“Who’s a good girl?” Danni asked her.

“Never you mind.” Ella told her. “Good night.” She added looking down and realising she was in her nightdress, luckily not the see through one she thought as she moved up the stairs.

Roman walked into the apartment and made his way to his bedroom. He saw immediately that Ella was gone and sighed. He stripped off and climbed into bed, swearing when his legs touched against the hot water bottle making him yelp as he heat pressed against his thigh.

“Why you little minx.” He muttered with a laugh.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 36

Nic looked over at Geoff as he gave his sermon. He gave her a look back and then smiled. Nic gasped and glanced around to see whom he was smiling at and then looked back at him. He finished talking and looked around the church. He saw nods and murmurs as the congregation began to file out.

He walked slowly over to Nic and she stood up facing him.

“Hello.” She said nervously her mouth suddenly dry.

“Nic.” Geoff murmured.

“How have you been?” she asked with a frantic glance around.

“I’m good. Aden and Belle have been good.” He added the last and cursed himself for sounding insipid.

“I’m glad.” Nic said looking at her hands.

She caught sight of her wedding and engagement ring on her left hand and raised her eyes to his.

“Would you like to get a coffee?” she asked. “Or maybe have some lunch with us and the kids?”

“Us and the kids?” he asked her.

She blushed.

“I meant us, including the kids.”

“For a minute I thought there was something you wanted to tell me.” He said softly his eyes drifting downwards to her flat stomach.

She caught the direction of his gaze and blushed scarlet.

“No.” she told him quickly.

He nodded.

“Unless you wanted.” She added.

He grinned.

“Lets just start with Lunch first shall we?” he told her and watched as she blushed some more before smiling.

“Geoff, I am so sorry for what I said.” She blurted.

“I know Nic.” He said with a sigh and reached for her hand.

She took hold of his hand in turn and felt him give hers a gentle squeeze.

“I love you Nic and nothing will ever change that.” He said quietly. “It’s just that the night of the anniversary party you were the old Nicole and I don’t like her so much.”

Nic looked at him and waited for more.

“Why did you say that stuff Nicole?” he asked her.

She sighed and stepped closer to him.

“Because Ella left us.” She told him ripping away the last layers between the old Nicole and the woman she was now.

“And she came back.” Geoff pointed out softly.

“But what if she left again? She’s my mother.” Nic said feeling tears gather in her eyes.

“She won’t stop being that. And she’ll never stop loving you Nic.” Geoff told her.

“But she stopped loving my Dad and if they are divorced then what about us? They are the strongest couple I know and if they can’t make it work then what about the rest of us? “ she asked him her sapphire blue eyes reflecting her inner misery.

“Nicole.” He sighed her name his thumb tracing circles on the inside of her wrist.

“It could happen Geoff.” She cried. “Look at us now.”

He nodded.

“It could happen but it won’t.” he promised her. “I just wanted you to take some time and think about things Nic, I would never leave you or our wonderful children.”

“Really?” she asked him her voice breathy with hope.

He nodded once more his eyes seeming to burn into hers, into her soul.

“I promised to love honour and cherish and I’m no where near done with any of those.” He grinned at her and watched as happiness crept slowly on to her face and she smiled back at him.

“Come here.” He told her tugging on her hand.

She resisted for the briefest of moments before moving into his arms and kissing him back.

“In the church?” Aden called out interrupting their kisses. “Bible Boy I have more respect for you.”

“Go away Aden Jefferies.” Geoff called out. “Can’t you see I’m kissing my wife.”

“I can.” He grinned at them. “But Roman has invited us to Sunday lunch.”

“Dad?” Nic asked frowning.

Aden nodded.

“And the best bit is, it is at Ella’s.” Aden grinned at them.

Nic chuckled and caught the two of them looking at her.

“Ok what do you know?” Aden grilled her.

She shook her head.

“Nothing.” She told him quickly.

“You know Princess you never were any good at keeping secrets.” Aden murmured.

Nic looked at him as if she didn’t know what he was talking about and saw the two men share a look and grin at each other.

“Hey.” She pouted.

Aden chuckled.

“So can I take it you are coming?” he said to them.

Nic looked up at Geoff and he nodded.

“We’ll meet you there.” he said. “I have to close up the church.”

She reached up and placed a kiss on his lips.

“I better see to the children.” Nic said picking up Mira and looking over to Angel and Robbie.

“Did you hear that kids we’re going to Grandpa’s for dinner.”

Angel grinned.

“Can we go swimming?” she asked looking at her brother.

Aden chuckled.

“Does anyone need a lift?” he asked.

“I’ve got my car.” Nic and Geoff said at the same time before sharing a smile with each other.

“That’s it I’m going before I get nauseous.” Aden muttered.

Geoff laughed and reached down to hug Mira before Nic led her and the other children out.

“Is Daddy coming home?” he heard Robbie ask.

“I hope so.” Nic told him gently. “I really hope so.”

Ella caught up with Lily and carried her back to the veranda putting her in her playpen with her toys. She glared up at her and picked up a teddy bear throwing it at her mother.

Danni laughed as she watched her.

“Oh yes Missy, you laugh but just you wait until you have kids and they turn on you.” Ella muttered easing into a seat on the veranda.

“Mike and I haven’t even dated yet and you have us married with kids.” Danni said with a pout.

Ella laughed placing a hand on her pregnant bump.

“Mummy.” Sophie called out comign out of the house.

“Yes babes?” Ella asked her.

“Daddy has just turned up.” She said excitedly.

Ella stood a frown on her face as she walked into the kitchen and saw him standing there.

“Roman.” She said quickly.

“I thought I would bring this back.” He told her placing the hot water bottle on the top.

She looked around seeing Danni watching her a grin on her face.

“Yeah, ok thanks.” Ella muttered.

“And maybe cook lunch.” He added.

“You don’t live here remember.” Ella hissed at him looking frantically at the kids who were watching them intently.

“Ella.” Danni called out.

She spun around and saw the white of Lily’s dress in the distance and moved out after her.

“I’ll get her.” Roman said grinning.

He moved down the garden and scooped up his baby daughter, hugging her in his strong arms.

“Roman.” Ella said sounding puzzled.

“Dada.” Lily said excitedly.

“Daddy.” Sammy said at the same time.

Roman grinned and moved over to stand next to Ella. He placed Lily in the playpen smiling as she immediately pulled herself up and stood looking at them. He chuckled when the children stood around them. Sammy and Meggy and then Georgie and Sophie, Danni had obviously called Gabby down because she was there too.

He stood directly next to her and placed his hands either side of her face looking down into her eyes.

“Ella Harris.” He began. “I have been having so much fun falling in love with you again.”

She blushed casting frantic looks around.

“Roman.” She said his name once more.

“And last night was amazing.”

“Roman!” she exclaimed going dark red.

“But it made me realise that I don’t want anyone else in my bed except you. I don’t want to have to go sleep without you. I don’t want to be without you ever again.”

“Roman.” She gasped out putting her hand on his arms.

He grinned and eased down on one knee.

“Oh wow.” Sophie said looking at Meggy.

“Ella Harris will you marry me?” Roman asked her.

She gasped and nodded tears falling down her face.

“Words.” He prompted.

Ella looked round at the kids and then back at Roman.

“Yes.” She croaked out. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” She said finally.

Roman stood and pulled her into his arms holding her close as he kissed her.

“Yes!” Sammy cried out excitedly.

“Way to go Dad!” Gabby called out putting her fingers in her mouth and whistling loudly.

Roman eased back and grinned at Ella.

“She gets that from you.” He pointed out smiling down at his wife.

Ella grinned back at him.

“I guess we aren’t so secret anymore.” She murmured.

“What?” Sophie asked moving over to them.

Roman looked at his daughter and chuckled at the expression on her face.

“You aren’t the only one who can plot things.” He told her.

“I am so never going to trust you again.” Sophie muttered folding her arms across herself and glaring at him.

Ella smiled and looked at her family feeling Roman hold her hand and move to her side.

“I love you.” He told her kissing her cheek.

She looked up at him.

“I love you so much.” She told him softly her eyes shinning.

He chuckled.

“Right them you lot better help me unload my car.” He instructed watching as the kids ran through to the front of the house to carry his stuff in.

“Hey!” Ella exclaimed. “Maybe I don’t believe in sex before marriage.”

Roman nodded at her.

“That’s ok.” he said softly. “We aren’t going to have sex.”

“We aren’t?” she asked sounding disappointed.

“No.” he confirmed. “We’re going to be making a lot of love.” He promised her pulling her into his arms for another kiss.

They pulled slowly apart watching as Gabby and Danni struggle into the kitchen with the groceries he’d bought.

“Oh and I invited a few people over.” He confirmed. “Thought it might be good to have a bbq.”

Ella chuckled before heading into the kitchen. She saw the kids walking up the stairs carrying bits and pieces and smiled at their eagerness to have their Dad home and then grinned some more at the thought of Roman being home.

They began to prepare the food together sometimes touching hands across the kitchen and smiling at each other.

“Can I be your bridesmaid?” Sophie asked her.

Ella laughed.

“I don’t want a big wedding.” She told her daughter.

“Hey.” Roman protested. “I only proposed five minutes ago and already you are planning the wedding.”

Ella turned and looked at him.

“Where is my engagement ring?” she asked him pouting.

“Well I would have bought you one but I believe I just bought a horse.” He said quietly.

“We could get rid of the horse.” She pointed out. “To pay for the wedding.”

“No!” Sophie gasped out.

Ella giggled then and looked at her daughter holding out her arms to her.

Sophie gave them both a look before she stepped forward and hugged her mother.

“Joking about selling my horse is not cool.” She muttered.

Ella chuckled once more and gave Sophie a kiss.

“Told you babes, Princess is yours.” She said softly.

Sophie nodded and then looked at her dad.

“Can I get that in writing?” she asked them.

Roman let out a laugh.

“Sophie Nicole Harris.” He muttered.

Nic arriving with Geoff and the children interrupted them. Soon following were Aden and Belle with their children.

“What about Lee?” Ella asked Roman.

“She moved in with Miles.” He pointed out. “They should be here soon.”

She nodded trying to hide her smug smile.

“You are a devious little minx.” He pointed out moving to stand behind her. He put his arms around her placing one hand on her round stomach sighing when she leaned into him.

“That is just one of the reasons you love me.” She told him.

He chuckled softly kissing the side of her neck.

“One of them yes, the others being the way you make every day special, the way you snuggle against me at night even if we argue, the way you never let me get away with anything. The way you love me back and what is really amazing is the way you make love with me.”

She nodded and leaned back against him before rubbing her belly.

“The baby?” he asked.

She looked at him.

“He’s playing up.” She said softly.

Roman looked down at their joined hands on top of her bump and sighed into the back of her neck.

“Pay attention kiddo and stop giving your Mum a hard time.” he said softly.

He eased away and led her outside to sit down looking round the faces of the others. Miles and Leona arrived then with the baby and he grinned.

“Ella and I are getting married.” He announced and laughed when everyone started talking at once.

“About bloody time.” Miles said shaking his hand profusely.

Roman smiled and looked over at Ella talking to Belle and Nic and Lee. He knew they were talking to her about wedding dresses and he chuckled when he saw her shake her head. She stopped then and looked at someone behind him and he turned to see George, her father walking around the house towards them. He took a deep breath and took a step towards her watching as she paled automatically.

“Ella.” George said calling out her name.

She shook her head, her eyes moving to Roman and then back to her father.

“I’m sorry.” George said to her reading the horror-struck expression on her face.

Roman reached Ella’s side at the same time George did.

“Mike is..” George began and his voice broke. “Missing in action presumed killed.” He finished.

Ella turned in slow motion and looked at Roman before her eyes scanned for her other children as if to check they were safe. She heard Nic’s gasp but it sounded as though it were a long way away as a pain ripped through her side. Clutching at her stomach she turned to Roman and every drop of happiness drained away from her.

“I hate you.” She told him. “I hate you.” She repeated.

“Ella.” He cried out her name feeling the loss of his son, the repeat of losing the original Mike and the puzzlement of the moment.

“No.” she moaned through chattering teeth. “He had to be like you. To make you proud of him and I begged you not to let him go to the army. Wasn’t it bad enough he got involved with the Elliot stuff.” She cried out as another sharp pain ripped through her side.

“Ella.” Roman said her name again a fierce sense of denial going through him along with panic at the way she was looking. He reached out for her and she slapped at his hands.

“No.” she screamed out hysterically. “Get away from me.” She cried out.

“Ella.” George snapped out. “It’s no ones fault.”

She glared at him and then looked at Roman.

“I hate you for killing my son.” She said coldly.

He flinched then before gasping in shock when she sank to the floor.

Aden ran over to her and placed his hand on her neck. He looked around them before looking at Geoff.

“Help me get her into the car I need to get her to hospital.” He told him.

Geoff nodded moving over to the prone figure and lifting her up. He and Aden carried her into the car

“Aden.” Roman called out.

Aden looked at him and shook his head watching as Roman swayed on his feet. He took a step toward them.

”Daddy?” Sammy called out crying.

“Go.” He told Aden and saw the other man nod before he and Geoff drove away with Ella. He turned his attention to the children and gave them all a cuddle before taking them inside and putting on a film. Gabby was comforting a crying Danni and leading her up the stairs.

“Dad.” Nic said at a loss to say anything else.

“Take care fo the kids for me please.” He asked her and Belle and saw them nod. He moved outside with George and handed the man a large glass of whisky.

“I presume you can’t tell me the details.” He said to him.

“He was on patrol and there was an explosion followed y a firefight.” George told him. “That’s all I know.”

Roman nodded looking over at Lee and Miles who were clearing away the food.

“I’ve got to go to the hospital.” Roman said. “Don’t leave George.”

“Ella hates me.” He told Roman his voice full of sadness.

“Not half as much as she hates me so don’t worry about it.” Roman told the other man with black humour.

He walked out of the door and climbed behind the wheel of his car unable to start it for a moment until his hands stopped shaking.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 37

Roman saw Aden and Geoff in the corridor first and he felt his heart thump in his chest.

“Roman.” Aden called.

“Tell me.” He found himself begging huskily.

“The placenta has become partially detached.”” Aden said quickly.

Roman exhaled slowly unaware he had been holding his breath before catching the look that Geoff and Aden shared.

“What?” he asked quickly.

“We think.” Aden began and again looked at Geoff.

“Spit it out.” Roman said tersely.

“That there may be an issue with the baby. We’ve put the baby on a foetal monitor.” Aden told him “If there is no change they are looking at whether to allow the delivery now.”

Roman looked down at his clenched hands and felt reaction spread through him.

“Roman.” Rachel called from the doorway.

He looked up and she nodded at him He moved quickly towards her and then into the hospital room. Ella was laying on her side her face wet from tears. He went to her and she put her hand in his.

“Find him.” she begged.

“Ella I can’t leave you.” He protested.

“I want my son safe.”

He nodded and looked over at Rachel taking into note now her down turned head.

“What is it?” he asked quickly.

“Nothing.” Rachel told him.

He shook his head.

“I’m not leaving Ella.” He murmured once more.

She gave Rachel a look and the other woman moved outside closing the door behind her.

Ella eased up Roman helping her with the pillows.

“The baby is fine.” Ella told him. “We are fine. They may have to deliver but we are in hospital. Go. See my father and get my son home.”

He sank slowly into a chair.

“And if something happens?” he asked.

“We will get word to you.” She told him. “Please Roman.” She begged.

He took hold of her hand once more his finger tracing the circle of her wedding ring.

“Ella I love you.” He told her. “And you want me to go around the other side of the world and leave you when you are ill in hospital with my baby.”

She nodded before saying.

“Of course I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you in harms way and I don’t want to do this alone but my son is out there and if I could I would go and find him.”

He looked into her eyes and sighed but knew it was true if she hadn’t been pregnant she would have flown out to find Mike.

He sighed once more before he stood and kissed her.

“You do what they tell you.” He murmured. “Don’t be stubborn Ella.”

She gave him a megawatt smile and he kissed her once more before leaving the room. He took in the look that Rachel passed and then he was gone striding out of the hospital and into his car. She waited until he drove off before turning around and heading to Ella’s room walking over to the bed and removing the foetal monitor. The recording of the heartbeat echoed around the room before Rachel turned it off.

“How will we do this?” Ella asked.

“C section.”

“Can I hold him after?” she murmured more tears falling down her face.

Rachel nodded moving back over to her and striking the hair back from her face.

“Let me get someone to be with you.” She asked. “Nic.” She suggested.

Ella shook her head again.

“No.” She said sounding final.

Rachel surrendered and pressed the call button on the wall and eased back when the nurse came in.

“Prepare for an emergency C Section please.” Rachel instructed her and slipped outside. She pulled the door shut and leant against it for a moment before noticing Aden and Geoff looking at her. She saw Aden murmur something and then walk over to her.

“What is going on Rachel?” he asked.

“We couldn’t find a heartbeat.” She told him.

“But the monitor?” he said.

“Window dressing.” Rachel muttered sound distraught. “Ella lost the baby.”

Aden gasped and then looked at the door that Roman had gone out of.

“I don’t understand.” He said after a moment. “He just left? Just walked out?”

Rachel nodded the burnished curls of her hair falling around her face.

Aden gave a sigh and looked at Geoff before walking over to the other man.

“What’s happening Aden?” he asked him.

Aden looked at the walls around him and felt a curl of anger inside him.

“Roman has left.” He said redundantly. “There is a problem with the baby and they are taking Ella into theatre.”

Geoff paled.

“I’m going to call Nic.” He said quickly. “She’ll want to know.”

Aden nodded.

“Let me tell Belle, ok, she’ll find a way to let everyone know.”

Geoff nodded watching quietly as the other man moved away and made the phone call.

Roman walked into the house and went over to George who was sitting quietly in the lounge.

“Roman?” he said asking the question with just his name.

“She’s ok.” He said quickly. “She wants me to.” He stopped looking around the room and then gesturing to George and taking the other man outside. They spoke quickly before Roman turned and moved inside taking the stairs two at a time he saw his things scattered around the bedroom and groaned. He hadn’t even had the time to put his things away. He moved to his trunk and took out his uniform stuffing it uncharacteristically untidily in his bag. Moving back down the stairs he saw George near the door and he followed him outside to his car.

“You’re not going to say goodbye?” George asked and lapsed into an uncomfortable silence when he saw the look on Roman’s face. Within an hour they were at the airport and on a helicopter.

Ella woke slowly, her mouth dry and her body sore. She opened her eyes carefully feeling the pull of sleep trying to claim her again. Looking down at her flat stomach she felt a wrench of pain start to consume her and cried out.

“Ella.” Aden said her name pulling her back from her desolation.

She peered at him and saw him smile slowly.

“Go away.” She croaked out.

“Sweetie.” Rachel called coming into the room.

“Please just leave me alone.” She said to both of them.

“Ella look at us.” Rachel instructed.

Ella slowly looked up.

“Would you like to see your baby?” Rachel asked.

“No I’m not ready.” Ella said after a long silence.

“I think you are.” Rachel told her and reached over to press the call button.

“I said no.” Ella muttered angrily, her voice still in a horse craoky whisper.

Aden and Rachel shared a look before Aden reached out and held a cup of water to her lips. Ella sipped slowly despite the urge to gulp it down missing the door opening and a wheelchair being brought into the room. She was hoisted out of bed her limbs too weak to provide any resistance them and was soon wheeled down the corridor. She expected to go into the same room they had taken her after the birth of Francesca and moaned under her breath as she was wheeled towards the special care unit.

“It’s ok Ella.” Rachel told her gently.

She shook her head feeling a growing sense of dread within her when they stopped and entered the unit. She looked around at all the babies before her eyes were drawn to a particular crib and she moaned trying to stand from the chair.

“Steady.” Aden told her.

She shook visibly and they took pity on her and wheeled her over to the baby.

“He’s ok?” she asked in a subdued whisper.

Aden nodded and knelt down next to her.

“Ella do you remember anything?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“You’ve been in and out for nearly a week.” He told her. “You wouldn’t accept that he was alive.”

She raised her startled gaze to Rachel and saw the woman nod.

“Can I hold him?” she asked them.

“Not quite yet.” Rachel said to her. “But soon, he’s doing well. We thought we lost him and we nearly lost you too but you are both fighters.”

Ella looked into Aden’s eyes and saw the emotion in them that told her it had been serious before she placed her hand through the hole in the side of the crib and with shaking fingers stroked her baby’s cheek.

“Well do you have a name for him?” Rachel asked her.

Ella nodded a tear falling down her face.

“William Roman Harris.” She said softly.

“You’re calling him after Roman?” Aden asked a scathing note entering his voice.

She nodded once more.

“He is lovely.” She said looking across at her son.

Rachel gave her a smile.

“Well say goodbye to him we need to get you back to your room. “ Aden told her after a time.

“No not yet.” She begged. “I’ve only just got here.”

“Ella you’ve been here over half an hour and you are tired. It’s been a long few days for you.” Rachel said to her quietly.

“Please just a little while longer.” Ella begged them.

“Sorry Ella.” Rachel told her softly. “But you have been really ill, you need to get you’re strength back.”

Ella looked up at them disappointment on her face and reluctantly eased away from her baby. She sank down into the wheelchair and let them take her back to her room.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 38

Ella moved through to the lounge the baby asleep in the crib beside her as she began cleaning the windows. She had been home from the hospital for nearly two weeks now and had spent all her time fussing around the house being unable to settle for more than a few minutes at a time.

“Ella.” Nic called walking through the door.

“Nic shush, I just got William to sleep.” She replied quietly.

“Sorry.” Nic told her walking silently over to the crib and looking in on her brother. “He’s gorgeous.” She told her again.

“He takes after your Dad.” Ella said with a smile.

“Alyssa wants to come for a visit and see him.” Nic murmured before turning her attention to Lily and picked her up.

“No.” Ella muttered. “Not yet.”

“It’s been a week since he came home.”

“Nic I said no.” Ella snapped folding her arms across herself.

She sighed and eased away from the window putting the cleaning stuff away before washing her hands and putting the kettle on to make them both a drink.

“I don’t know how you are managing Ella, the house is spotless and you look good.”

Ella shrugged deciding not to mention that with Roman away she found it impossible to eat, picking at her food and combined with being busy and breast feeding the baby weight had melted away.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked Nic changing the subject.

Nic nodded and continued.

“Belle and I were wondering if you wanted to do lunch one day next week?” she asked her.

Ella shook her head.

“Sorry I can’t.” she said automatically.

“Look Ella this isn’t healthy.” Nic said finally. “You shut yourself away here and we don’t see you. You make excuses not to spend time with anyone except the children.”

“Nic.” Ella protested.

“I can understand being upset.” She started to say.

“Nicole.” Ella snapped and reached out taking Lily from her. She gave her daughter a quick kiss before putting her back in her playpen. “I’m fine. William came home five days ago and I need to get into a routine with him. I take the children to school.”

“And that is it. You even get your groceries delivered.” Nic said folding her arms across herself.

“Nicole.” Ella used her full name again. “I’ve got a little girl less than a year and a new baby. When am I going to have time to go shopping right now?”

“Perhaps if you did less cleaning.” Nic suggested stung by the note in Ella’s voice.

“Back off Nicole.” Ella said finally.

“El, please.” Nic said holding out her hands to her.

“Leave.” Ella muttered. “I’m tired and it will be William’s feeding time soon. Perhaps you should call first before you come over.”

Nic looked at her a deep hurt and bewilderment in her eyes before she turned on her heel and moved out the front door. She heard the lock turn in the door behind her and she groaned before climbing behind the wheel of her car and pulling out her phone.

Ella moved back to cleaning the window. She saw Nic talking on her phone casting a look in her direction but she ignored it tackling the white-framed window until it gleamed. Only then did she turn away and wash her hands again. She selected a snack from the fridge and set up Lily’s highchair lifting up the little girl into it and helping her begin to eat.

“Dada.” Lily said waving her hands.

Ella nodded.

“Dada.” She agreed looking over at the still sleeping William and wiping at a tear that coursed down her face. “I miss him too Lily and if he doesn’t come back it will be my fault.” She told her daughter as though she would understand.

“Dada.” Lily said again.

Ella tried to swallow past the lump in her throat but before she burst in tears.

“What have I done Lily?” she asked her baby daughter. “Please god let Roman come home ok.” she begged. “Haven’t I been through enough without you taking away everyone I love?” she asked sobbing.

Lily picked up one of the crackers and offered it to her crying mother.

“Thank you.” Ella said to her wiping at her eyes and accepting the cracker. She bit into it slowly before picking up the water she had got for herself and taking a long drink. Standing up she reached into the fridge and took out the pummel of strawberries chopping one into small pieces for Lily before biting one for herself. Lily watched her and reached for the juicy fruit eating it a bit at a time before holding up her juice cover hands.

“Want those washed?” Ella asked with a smile.

Lily grinned at her and opened and closed her hands frowning at them because of the stickiness of her fingers. Ella let out a laugh followed by a sigh as she picked up the flannel and wiped her daughter fingers and face. She caught sight of William stirring and reached over to pick up his crib folding the stand and taking them up the stairs. She settled him into the nursery before going back down and collecting Lily taking in her frown as she glared at her.

“This would be different if your Dada was here.” She told her daughter.

“Dada.” Lily said again.

“He would have got a cot for your brother.” She told her. “And we wouldn’t be struggling with this old crib.”

Lily nodded wisely as if she understood every word.

Ella placed Lily in her cot and handed her the bottle of juice she had for her before picking up William and beginning to feed him. She rocked slowly back and forth in the rocking chair feeling slow tears start once more, crying for Mike and for Roman. She had sent him away letting him think that the baby was ok when only by a miracle he’d survived and worse than that she hadn’t even told him she loved him. The last words he would remember would be telling him she hated him.

Roman rolled over and stuffed out the fire. He kicked over the traces of it and sighed. Not even the fire had managed to warm him last night and he hated that all he could think about was how Ella would have pulled out the extra covers and wrapped them in them before snuggling next to him. Rubbing circulation back into his arms and fingers he reached out his map and looked at it again wondering how far he could cover today before taking out the packet that would make up his breakfast. He couldn’t help but think about Ella and wonder if she was taking care of herself. He finished the food and stuffed the rubbish back in his pack before folding the map and setting off. Rumour had it that there was an injured man in caves to the west of his current position and he had to check it out. He hoped that this wasn’t another false lead. He set off watching the sky as it began to lighten with the approaching dawn.

He circled around the village that he came across not wanting to alert them to his presence. He spotted a cache of weapons in one of the houses and moved quickly away before calling ti in. He heard George’s voice on the other end of the radio and felt a wave of homesickness.

“Good work, over.” George said before a burst of static.

“No problem.” Roman said softly. “How are things at home.” He muttered finally, unable to hold back the question.

He heard George sigh as he answered.

“Everything is fine.” He said quickly.

Roman gave a groan and wanted to ask more questions but at the risk of the transmission being overheard he switched the receiver off and stowed in back in his backpack and setting off. The rough terrain felt alien under his booted feet and he tried to remember how long it had been since he had been here. Before the twins had been born was the answer. His thoughts drifted but not enough to distract him from the scene up ahead. It looked like roving Taliban, the kind who terrorised the villages around here into growing poppies for the drug trade rather than wheat to feed their families. He eased slowly into shadow behind a group of rocks almost designed for that purpose and waited for them to go past. He saw one of them with an Australian rifle and almost gloated out loud. These could be the ones he was looking for he thought hopefully and then groaned as others joined them. He did a quick headcount and swore silently under his breath. He was forced to let them go past, too many for him to tackle single handed and not enough cover to call back and let base know about them.

Back in the old days he might have just risked it. Hell, he would have done and then he and Jacko would have joked around in the bar for a time before he went to see Ella. She would be waiting that look on her face, skilfully neutral, neither approving or disapproving and then she would comfort him and make him feel stupid for taking such a chance when he should have been prepared to come home to her safe and sound. No such joy on this mission, remembering her screams that she hated him. Maybe, just maybe if he managed to get Mike back alive there would be some kind of future for them.

He eased the long way round to the caves his body protesting the treatment, chasing Lily around the back garden didn't appear to be training for this mission, although she did weigh about as much as his pack he noted. He paused to take a drink of water looking around the terrain his eyes scanning for anything that would help. Taking out the GPS tracker in his pack he pressed the button that would send a signal back to headquarters and George to let him know exactly where he was. Putting it carefully back in his pack he checked he hadn’t left anything behind before moving on.

The path ahead was starting to incline upwards and he groaned when he felt the pull on his thigh muscles, thanking whatever lucky stars he had left that Jacko wasn’t there to see him knowing the other man would just laugh himself stupid at his out of shape condition. Stepping gingerly he navigated across loose rocks and shale cursing under his breath as a scatter of stones rolled down the hill. Finding more cover to the left he aimed himself there cursing some more as he was forced at one point to scramble using his hands as leverage. He felt the sharp point of the stones cut into his fingers as he grasped and pulled himself forward recoiling when he felt one cut a little too deep seeing spots of scarlet drip down on to some of the stones. He knew that he should cover them up, but couldn’t afford to take the time to do it nor could he risk pausing too long in this position, although there was coverage it was slim and not enough to stop him being spotted if he stayed there too long. He scrambled up higher until he was at the spot he aimed for. He sucked in the hot desert air into his gasping lungs and reminded himself that Ella would give him lots of sex to make up for what he was doing. That was, if she was talking to him.

Ella placed William in his capsule and began carrying everything to the car. She’d adapted the changing bag to fit in both Lily’s and William’s things but it was still heavy and bulky. She placed him in his capsule on the veranda before collecting Lily and putting her in the car. Giving her one of her toys to keep her occupied until she got William and everything else in there. Changing bag and pushchair. She supposed she could have asked Danni or Gabby to help with the children but she had to do it alone. First it was a trip to Rachel for her appointment. Checking William over and then herself and afterwards picking up the children from school. Meggy and Sammy would be first out and then Sophie followed by Georgie. She tried to remember if he had his junior footie practice but the days blurred in her head. It was only after getting a text from Rachel that she remembered the appointment. She checked that both babies were secure in the car before climbing behind the wheel and setting off. By the time she got to the hospital William was crying and Lily was screaming and she was ready to scream herself. She parked up and opened the back of the car getting out the pushchair. Lily went in first despite having a major tantrum and biting her following by William in his capsule fitting on to the back of the buggy. She looked down at him and using a wipe to wash away the tears from his face. The distraction worked to calm him down and he blinked up at her.

“All done little man.” She said softly and groaned when Lily let out a renewed scream.

“Lily Alyssa Harris.” Ella cried out. “What is all this fuss for?” she asked her daughter moving around the front of the buggy.

Lilly looked at her with her mouth half open before screaming once more.

“Ok, that’s enough Lily or I’ll leave you in the car.” Ella threatened.

Lily raised her tearstained face and kicked her legs at the same time as waving her clenched fists.

“Right enough from you madam or no Mira to come and see you.” Ella said slowly watching as almost comically Lily raised her head and looked around for Mira.

“Yes that’s right my angel girl you want to play with your niece then you need to start showing me some manners.” Ella continued using the same voice as she manoeuvred the buggy into the hospital and through to where her appointment would take place.

While she was waiting she managed to wipe Lily’s face and give her a drink. The little girl appearing calm and almost placid in front of others. Ella watched her and absentmindedly rubbed at the spot where she had bitten her.

“Ella would you like to come through?” Rachel called out finally.

Ella stood slowly and moved the buggy into the exam room. She lifted William across to the bed and took him out of his capsule.

“How are you doing?” Rachel asked.

“He’s fine. Putting on weight and everything seems normal.” Ella murmured.

“Ok.” Rachel said quietly, “Let’s have a look at him.” she suggested.

She examined the baby placing him on the scales and taking the measurements down.

“Lily been ok with having him around?” Rachel asked after a moment.

“Some tantrums.” Ella confessed rubbing her arm.

Lily looked up as her name was mentioned and gave Rachel a smile causing Rachel to chuckle.

“She’s going to be a handful.” She predicted.

Ella gave a slow nod.

“Now then let’s have a look at you.” Rachel told her after a moment.

“Me? But I’m fine.” Ella said putting clothes back on William and tucking him back into the capsule.

“Well that’s good but lets see, you’ve refused all help with the children and Nic and Belle have both been turned away. Roman can’t be found anywhere and you should have come and see me last week for your check up and you forgot.” Rachel said slowly. “Add to that you’ve obviously been crying recently and you’ve lost weight I would diagnose post partum depression.”

Ella looked at her and touch her face knowing know why both Lily and William had been crying in the car it was because she had also been crying without realising it.

“I’m fine.” She said lifting up William’s capsule and putting it back on the buggy,

“Of course you are.” Rachel said. “What day of the week is it? What is the date?”

Ella shook her head.

“It’s a Thursday.” She said eventually working it out.

“That took some time.” Rachel said placing her hand on Ella’s arm. “Won’t you let us help you?” she asked.

Ella shook her head and felt tears start once more.

“I’m fine.” She said quickly.

Rachel nodded sympathetically and reached out putting her arms around her. Ella took a shuddering breath and began sobbing.

“What if he doesn’t come back?” she asked bitterly. “I’ve killed him.”

Rachel held her thinking she was referring to Mike and cursing Roman for leaving like he did.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 39

Ella paced the floor. She felt as though her skin was alive and crawling and knew that was just a symptom of her insomnia. She heard William stirring though the baby monitor and moved into the nursery. A check on Lily revealed she was still fast asleep. She picked up William just as he got ready to start screaming and soothed him before settling in the rocking chair to feed him. He feasted hungrily waving his fists as he suckled and Ella was struck by the absence of Roman and tears began to form in her eyes once more. She opened her phone and dialled her dad’s telephone number.

“Ella hello,” he greeted her.

“Dad.” She murmured feeling embarrassed.

“How are you?” he said quietly.

“Dad I’m fine, you have a new grandson.” She told him emotionally.

“Really?” he asked his voice lightening.

“His name is William.” She murmured. “And he looks like his dad.” She added her voice breaking on the last bit, thinking of Roman.

“Can I come and see him?” George asked her.

“Daddy.” She said her voice breaking on a sob.

“Ella he’s ok.” George said quickly. “We heard from him just an hour ago. He’s got a good lead on someone.”

“Daddy I need him. If anything happens to him it will be my fault.” She gasped out.

“Ella.” He said, static coming through the line telling her just how far away he was. “You may have asked him to come here under difficult circumstances but he would have come here himself sooner or later.”

She looked down on her son and across at Lily.

“I have to go Daddy.” She told him. “The baby needs me.”

“Promise me that you’ll call me again.” He said into the phone.

She nodded unable to talk anymore and clicked the phone shut.

Putting it to one side she changed William’s nappy and settled him back to sleep. Glancing over at Lily she saw that the little girl was still asleep and she placed a soft kiss to her head before easing out of the room and back towards her bedroom.

“I heard you talking.” Danni said from the doorway of her room.

“I spoke to my dad.” Ella confirmed.

“Does that mean there is any news?” she asked hopefully.

“They think they have a lead but that wasn’t why I was calling him.” Ella said softly.

“Were you like this when Roman went away before?” Danni asked her.

“What, a basket case?” Ella responded.

Danni looked at the floor for a moment and then up at Ella.

“Please answer.” She murmured.

“Oh Danni, it’s different every time they go away.” Ella said with a sigh wiping at the tears on her cheeks. “You can’t let the worry consume you or you’ll go crazy.”

“A bit like you now.” Gabby pointed out from the doorway of her room. “You need sleep Mum and you need to let us help with the children.”

“The children are my responsibility.” She told them. “Now I’m going to bed.”

“More like pace for the remainder of the night.” Gabby muttered before walking over to Danni and giving the other girl a hug.

“I wish Roman were here.” Danni muttered. “He’d know how to take care of her.”

“I can’t believe he just upped and left.” Gabby said puzzled. “Anyway come on you, get into bed. You have an important day tomorrow.”

Danni shook her head.

“I don’t think I can sit this exam.” She murmured.

Gabby gave her a small smile.

“Anyway bed.” She instructed.

She led Danni into her room and sat next to her on the bed.

“You know this stuff inside and out Danni, so you are going to sleep now and in the morning you are going to college and give it your best shot. Just think how proud you’ll make Mike.”

Danni gave a hiccuping sob.

“I need him to be ok.” she said softly.

“We all do.” Gabby said equally as softly.

She stroked Danni’s hair back form her face and tugged the covers up over her.

“Close your eyes now.” She told Danni watching as the other girl started to drift to sleep. She eased out of the room and back into her own room.

Ella walked into the diner and all conversation stopped. She looked around before striding over to where Rachel was sitting.

“Finally.” Rachel said with a grin.

The hum of conversation started again and Ella heard Roman’s name mentioned. She turned and looked at Colleen who tried to look everywhere else apart from at Ella. Shaking her head she sank into the seat opposite Rachel and glanced at the menu.

“Who is looking after the baby?” Rachel asked.

“That would be Gabby. She kidnapped him and Lily and took them over to Nic’s with the message that she wouldn’t bring them back until I did something other than cleaning.” Ella muttered a bitter note entering her voice.

“Can you blame them about being worried about you?” Rachel asked her in doctor mode more than best friend mode.

“Rachel cut it out ok.” Ella told her. “You wanted me out of the house and I’m here.”

“Anger El? That isn’t like you.” Rachel pointed out.

“Maybe if this damn town stopped talking about me for five minutes I could get on with my life.” She snapped looking over at Colleen.

“Ella.” Rachel said softly holding her hand to the other woman.

“You couldn’t leave us alone could you?” she shouted standing up and looking around. “Always pushing and plotting.”

“Ella.” Leah murmured coming out of the kitchen.

“No back off. You want to know where Roman is?” she snarled looking at Colleen. “Well I’ve killed him. I sent him to find my son. See what I said there, My son, like he had no say in Mike’s upbringing. Oh he’s good enough for me to send him to his death but not to acknowledge him as Mike’s dad. And what else did I do?” Ella paused as the tears started again. “I drove him away when I needed him. “

“Oh my stars.” Colleen gasped out.

“Ella.” Rachel murmured coming over to her.

“Leave me alone.” Ella ground out.

“Ella Harris.” Leah snapped out. “This isn’t you.” She added. “Snap out of it.”

Ella shook her head and ran out of the diner, she glanced around but didn’t look where she was going. The impact of the car knocked her like a discarded rag doll to the ground. The squeal of the breaks echoed around the diner like a scream and they rushed outside. Rachel gasped and moved over to Ella.

Colleen gasped and paled.

“Leah get my bag from my car.” Rachel said quickly handing over her keys.

Leah moved quickly racing over to Rachel’s dark saloon.

“Ella can you hear me?” Rachel murmured.

“Killed him.” she moaned twisting away from Rachel.

“Keep still Ella.” Rachel muttered.

“She just came out of nowhere.” The driver muttered staggering out of his car.

“There there sit yourself down.” Colleen said moving to his side and leading him inside the diner out of the way. Rachel gave the other woman a grateful smile and then accepted her medical bag from Leah.

“How is she?” Leah asked quickly.

“I need you to call an ambulance.” Rachel told her softly.

“I already have.” Colleen said from behind them. “Charlie is on her way too.”

“Well done Colleen.” Leah told her.

“I didn’t know that Roman was away again.” She said guiltily. “I thought he’d upped and left them.”

“We all thought that Colleen.” Leah murmured.

Rachel looked over at the two women before looking back at Ella.

“What hurts Ella?” Rachel asked her.

She checked Ella’s pupils with her torch and nodded.

“My leg.” Ella moaned eventually.

“Ok El, now you have no pain in your neck or numbness?” Rachel asked her.

Ella groaned.

“No just my leg.” She moaned trying to move.

“Ella please keep still.” Rachel asked her gently. “We need to make sure that you haven’t hurt your back.”

“No its’ fine.” She muttered. “I want to go home.”

“Ella.” Rachel said quietly frustration on every syllable.

“The ambulance is here.” Leah told them.

Rachel stood and moved over to talk to the paramedics. They moved quickly at her instructions and Ella was placed on a backboard with a neck collar before being placed on the stretcher. The ambulance set off and Rachel gathered her stuff before heading into the diner.

“Are you the driver?” she asked.

He looked up and nodded still looking pale and shaken.

“Ok, my name is Rachel and I’m a doctor. I’m just going to check you over. Did you hit your head?”

He looked up.

“No, I don’t think so.” He muttered.

Leah moved outside and looked out on the view taking some deep breaths to calm herself. Colleen joined her after a moment.

“I never dreamed we were causing so much trouble.” Colleen said tearfully.

“I don’t think you can take Ella’s words too much to heart Colleen, she’s under a lot of strain at the moment with Mike missing and Roman gone just when she needs him most.”

“Those poor babies. Who is going to take care of them now?” she asked.

Leah put her arm around the other woman’s shoulders.

“I guess we all will.” She murmured.

Rachel joined them.

“He’s fine but we will need him to be checked out at the hospital. Charlie needs to bring him there after she’s finished questioning him.” She told them both.

“Did you know about Roman?” Leah asked her.

“Not that he was looking for Mike but I knew something was going on.” Rachel confirmed. “We thought Ella had lost the baby and she had me set it up so Roman would think everything was ok when he came and saw her in the hospital.”

“So he would have come back and…” Leah stopped unable to finish the sentence. “God, she had to know that he would never have forgiven her for lying to him like that.”

Rachel nodded.

“She must be feeling so guilty.” Colleen said softly. “Probably feels she doesn’t deserve to have little William be ok after that.”

Rachel looked over at her.

“I think you’ve just put your finger on it. It might be why she won’t accept help now.” Rachel said softly.

“But why does she think that she’s responsible for killing him? Roman isn’t dead.” Leah said and paled. “Oh no.” she gasped out.

“I don’t think anything happened to him pet, “ Colleen patted Leah’s hand. “She’s just winding herself up because she feels so bad.”

“I hope so Colleen. We better let everyone know what’s happened.” Leah said softly.

“I need to get to the hospital.” Rachel confirmed.

They watched the other woman leave before heading back into the diner. Leah took hold of her phone and began to make the calls.