jodlebirger Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 I hope you will finish this fic, because a lot of fics like this dont get finished. I liked especially the first chapter , but I am also curious about what happened to Aden and how you will take it from there. I think that a lot of people have read this fic, because it has over 500 views, but maybe people are going to comment more after a few more chapters. Hope you have had a good christmas. Happy new year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yaz88 Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 Thank you for the comments i just worry too much lol I've planned 30 chapters for this fic and i would like to finish it it may take a while though because im useless at updating The next update should be up tomorrow i hope and chapter 4 wont be long after because i wrote half of it for chapter 3 then realised it didn't follow my plan lol XD Hope you all had a good christmas xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yaz88 Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 I said today so here it is, amazingly I'm on time Right just thought i'd let you know, italics = thoughts *** = flashback --- = seperates scene Chapter 3 Flashback – *** Aden stumbled across the beach as the rain started to pound more relentlessly, he was already soaked through and shaking from the cold. He needed to get to Belle’s but all his mind could think of was how cold and wet he was. The constant crashing of the waves almost next to him did nothing to help, he staggered forward as his body slowly shut down, he needed to get to Belle’s, he needed to get to…, he needed to… he… he… He collapsed on the sand bashing his head off a rock as he did so; he didn’t even try to resist, he didn’t have the energy, he just let the shadows overcome him and gave in exhaustedly to the blackness… The waves crept higher and higher off the beach, throwing rocks and debris high upon the shore, sharp stones and broken shells cut into the silent figure, the rain pelting down upon him. It seemed that, for Aden Jefferies, there was no hope… *** Miles gently prised a sobbing Roman out of his arms and scrambled over to Aden. He gingerly reached for a pulse, dreading the worst. He held his fingers there for a second; worry spreading over his features until finally he felt a slow, weak beat, it was barely there. They didn’t have much time; they needed to get him to a hospital soon if there was any chance of saving him. Miles turned to see Roman still crying on the rocks, “Roman” he called. When he got no response he tried again, “Roman” he called, louder this time. Roman looked up at him, tear streaks visible on his unusually pale face. “What?” He whispered so quietly Miles hardly heard him. “He’s alive” He got straight to the point; he didn’t think Roman would want to be messed about. Roman jolted up and ran over, all traces of grief gone instead replaced by worry, panic and hope. “We need to get him to a hospital; Roman or he’s not going to make it.” Miles pressed. Roman nodded before picking up Aden in his arms and starting back towards the surf club, Miles following quickly behind. --- Roman stumbled off the beach and began up the road, struggling with the heavy weight in his arms. Miles followed, panting, “Roman… waits…” he huffed, clearly out of breath. “There’s no time.” His reply was short and curt; he couldn’t deal with Miles right now, he needed to get Aden to hospital. Roman reached the surf club and staggered inside, swiftly placing Aden down on one of the diner chairs. He then stood up, breathing heavily after carrying Aden from the beach, and turned to face everyone else. --- They all stood there in shock, mouths hanging wide open as they looked at the frail form of Aden lying on the seat, chest scarcely moving. Suddenly Miles burst through the door having only just reached the surf club and then turmoil broke out. Belle was the first to react, hastily moving to Aden’s side and grabbing his hand before breaking down over his body. Heart-wrenching sobs emitting from her as the tears sped steadily down her cheeks. No, please, no, he can’t be… please Aden hold on. For me… Meanwhile Roman, having regained his breath, was getting radio contact to the emergency services since the phone lines were down. Irene approached Belle, tears trickling down her own face and gently rubbed her shoulders, offering her comfort as she wept. The rest of them, Geoff, Romeo, Tony and Hugo all stood on and watched silently, each one with reds eyes and stained cheeks as they saw the motionless body and the grieving family. Alf had gone to help Roman with the radio and they had managed to get a message through. Now all they had to do was wait… They sat there in silence, no one finding the strength to say anything as the faint noise of sirens sounded in the background… hehe I'm so mean leaving you wondering like this Next chapter - Will Aden survive? It will be up tomorrow, I promise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighwayUnicorn Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 Deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amz89 Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 OMG you cant leace it like that i loved it. poor Aden please make him okay. Cant wait for more. =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adellejefferiesxox Posted January 1, 2010 Report Share Posted January 1, 2010 Awwww why so short???? Need more Aden/Adelle Good chapter though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yaz88 Posted January 1, 2010 Report Share Posted January 1, 2010 Thanks for the comments YES! You decided not to abandon it. Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOOOO much. I never planned to I just didnt update for a week or so cos it was around christmas and i was too busy watchin dvds, playing games etc It was short because I didnt want to put the hospital in that chapter and i couldnt think of anything else to put into it Chapter 4 “Please… save him… please…” Roman sobbed as several doctors and nurses wheeled Aden into recess. Miles and Roman were sat on the plastic chairs outside of recess, Roman had his head in his hands, tears streaming relentlessly down his cheeks, he couldn’t lose him, he couldn’t… They had come in the back of the ambulance with Aden and were still waiting for everyone else to arrive. They needn’t wait a moment longer as Belle came bursting through the doors followed swiftly by Irene, “Where is he??” Belle panted, “Is he okay?” She turned to see Roman crying and immediately a flood of terror washed over her, “He is isn’t he?” Still receiving no response, the sense of dread sunk deeper into her heart, “Tell me he’s okay!!!” she was nearing hysterical now. Roman finally looked up and through his tear stained cheeks he mumbled, “He’s in there” He pointed towards the emergency sign, “We don’t know yet…” He trailed off. Belle’s heart rose and sank and the same time, he was still alive but for how long… --- An hour of relentless pacing, endless worrying and depressing thoughts later a doctor finally emerged. “Aden Jeffries’s family?” He enquired. Roman looked up expectantly, “Yes?” “Are you his father?” “No, his father’s in jail, I’m his guardian.” “Would you like to come with me please?” The doctor asked kindly. “No.” Roman said, fed up with the doctor’s stalling. “Whatever you need to tell me, you can tell these guys too.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “Okay then…” The doctor paused before releasing into a long list of technical words and phrases. “Huh?” Everyone said when he had finished. The doctor sighed, “Basically, Aden has been subjected to freezing wet conditions for a long period of time and thus has developed hypothermia and has signs of pneumonia. He also has a head injury that requires stitches and a concussion. Oh and finally he has several broken ribs. We are in the process of restoring his body temperature to normal then we will transfer him to a room and monitor him, at the moment though, he is in a stable condition.” Hypothermia, pneumonia, head injury, stitches, concussion, broken ribs. They were the only thoughts running through Belle’s head. “Is he going to be okay?” She asked, the strain clear in her voice. “It’s too early to tell yet we’ll let you know when we know more.” The doctor replied before leaving them to their thoughts. --- It was early morning when Aden had been moved into his room after being brought in late last night. Roman, Belle and Irene had stayed, anxiously awaiting any news. Miles, on the other hand, had returned home after receiving the news the Aden was stable. He was lying in bed; a clean white sheet covering his legs, countless wires connected his chest and arms to the many machines around the room. The slow steady rasp of the ventilator breathing for him as his lungs threatened to collapse at any moment. His pale complexure strikingly obvious compared to his usual vibrant self. She sat next to him holding his hand and murmuring softly to him, waiting fearfully for him to wake up. Irene sat next to her, pity and grief burning in her eyes as she looked at the pale, ill figure lying in the bed, you would think he was sleeping if it wasn’t for the tube down his throat and the steady beeping on the heart monitor behind him. Roman sat on the other side of him; his head lolled to one side, the events of the night had caught up with him and dragged him into the realms of sleep. Irene too was beginning to give in to the weariness that had hovered over her all night only Belle stayed awake, not wanting to leave or sleep in case anything happened. ‘Stable’ the doctors had said. Were they mad? How could they call this stable, he was lying in a coma with a stupid flipping machine breathing for him because his lungs couldn’t take it, stable was he?? She leaned closer to him and whispered so as not to disturb the other two who were now fast asleep in the chairs. “Aden,” she murmured, gently stroking his hand in soothing circles. “Please, baby… wake up, I need you, Roman needs you, he’s falling apart here, come on pull through for us, for me…” She ended, then leant forwards and gently kissed him on the forehead. --- BEEP-BEEP-BEEP Urghhhh… I must’ve fallen asleep… Belle slowly opened her eyes to see Roman and Irene stirring but that wasn’t what grabbed her... Aden was thrashing about on the bed, his heart monitor going crazy. Her eyes went wide as doctors and nurses rushed in and hurriedly ushered them out, “He’s fitting! Get a line in now!” All she could hear from outside the room were the urgent shouts of the doctor and they were what chilled her to the bone… “He’s crashing!!” … Umm... dont kill me I promise next chapter you will find out if Aden's dead or alive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adellejefferiesxox Posted January 2, 2010 Report Share Posted January 2, 2010 Awwww no Aden ! Please be alright. That was another great chapter I like the fic so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighwayUnicorn Posted January 2, 2010 Report Share Posted January 2, 2010 Deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hnagrom098 Posted January 2, 2010 Report Share Posted January 2, 2010 I love this fic and you are incredibly good at keeping us in suspense! I need to know if Aden survives! Well done again on a brilliant fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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