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Lighter Side

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Story title: Lighter Side

Type of story: Short/Medium fic

Main characters: Whole cast

BTTB rating: T-A

Genre: Humour

Spoilers: None at all

Warnings: A few swear words every now and then, but nothing drastic

Summary: Amidst all the drama in Summer Bay, there seems to be something vaguely humorous going on. The work of an evil script writer, Summer Bay residents are suffering, in many comical events.

For Tele, because I finally know how difficult we make her life.

Chapter One: Nicole

Nicole sat by herself on the beach, something that didn’t happen very often. She was usually here with a man, or two, and sitting was the last thing on the agenda.

In fact, the other residents of Summer Bay had gotten so used to seeing Nicole in various states of nakedness on the beach that three members of the community had already done a double take when they had seen her sitting on the sand, fully dressed.

Nicole, however, was deep in thought about her future. She wanted to do something decent with her life, instead of just wasting it, hanging around doing next to nothing.

Before long, Aden came and sat down beside her. A common problem in Summer Bay was that people couldn’t keep their nose in their business.

“Hey Nic”, Aden said calmly, looking out at the ocean. He and Belle were suffering through another break-up, and he didn’t want to make it worse by jumping on Nicole.

“Hey Aden, I have an idea”, she trilled, and Aden looked over at her in shock. Nicole hadn’t been this happy since... well ever.

“What is it?” he asked cautiously, in case Nicole’s new idea of fun was going sky diving – naked.

“I’ve decided to become a nun”, she exclaimed, as Aden promptly burst out laughing.

“You’re kidding right?” Aden finally managed to choke out, as his sides ached from laughing so hard

Nicole glared, and put her hands on her hips, trying to look deadly serious. “No, I want to do something with my life, and I’m wasting it in Summer Bay”

“But you don’t know anything about God”, Aden laughed again, tears filling up his eyes.

“So?” Nicole questioned, curiosity crinkling up her face

“Nicole, nuns need to know stuff about the bible”

“Well, ask me anything, and I bet that I can answer. I’m taking my new career path very seriously”

“Who created the world and saw that it was good?” Aden asked, choosing the easiest question, trying to get Nicole off to an easy start

“Umm... Noah?” Nicole guessed, causing Aden to start laughing again, tears finally rolling down his cheeks.

“What is so funny?” she demanded, hating having people laughing at her

“It was God”, Aden choked out, trying unsuccessfully

“What was God?” she asked densely

“God was the one who created the world. Even I know that” Aden explained, all kidding aside. “But good luck with the new career Nicole”, Aden said, somewhat

sarcastically, as he stood up and walked away, leaving Nicole to ponder what he said.

Before long, Geoff had come to sit beside Nicole, further confirming that no one could keep their business to themselves.

“Geoff, you’re just the person. I need some help”, Nicole said quietly, her voice somewhat toned down since the encounter with Aden

Geoff frowned and leaned away slightly. The last time he had sat next to Nicole on the beach, she had tried to kiss him, despite the fact that he was going out with Martha.

“I want to become a nun”, she announced proudly, before frowning again when Geoff started laughing. “Why are you laughing?” she yelled, “I’m deadly serious about this”

“You want to be a nun?” Geoff asked, trying to make sure that he had heard Nicole correctly


“But you don’t know anything about the bible Nicole!” Geoff laughed lightly, but stopped as soon as he saw the look on Nicole’s face

“Quiz me”, she demanded, desperate to get this question right. Getting the previous question wrong had been a fluke. Of course she knew stuff about the bible!

“Umm sure, who built the giant ark and took two of every kind of animal onto it?” he asked, trying to find an easy question, so that Nicole wouldn’t be disheartened.

“That’s an easy one”, Nicole laughed nervously, trying to buy herself time

“Then answer the question”, Geoff reminded, anxious to get home to Martha. Apparently, she had bought a strippers pole and placed it in their bedroom, so that he could have private shows whenever he wanted. Obviously, working at a strip club had been addictive.

“Every knows that Moses made the ark”, Nicole said somewhat triumphantly

Geoff burst out laughing again, before standing up and starting to walk towards Martha’s house. “It was Noah, Nicole. Noah made the ark”, he called, and watched as

Nicole’s face fell

“Don’t worry Nicole; I’m sure you’ll make a brilliant nun. And I’m pretty sure celibacy would suit you”

Nicole smiled, and watched Geoff walk away, before a realization hit her.

“Nuns can’t sleep with people?” she screamed after him

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Chapter Two: Awkward Confrontation

(May contain a slight sexual reference, but nothing too drastic)

The beach was deserted, but the grass area was filled with spectators. All of Summer Bay had gathered to see the sight of Nicole, head bent over a bible, praying to an invisible master.

Aden rocked up slightly later than usual. He had struggled to climb out of Belle’s window early that morning. They were supposed to be broken up, but they couldn’t stay away from each other. It had gotten slightly awkward when he had accidently climbed into Irene’s window, but Belle had managed to convince Irene to drop the charges

Instead of standing in the middle of a crowd, Aden went and stood in front of Nicole, who was so deep in prayer that she didn’t even notice. Aden, always a joker, decided to make a show out of it.

“Nicole, nuns aren’t supposed to do that!” he exclaimed exceptionally loud, so that everyone could hear.

He could see Colleen drop into a faint, and Leah suddenly go pale.

Nicole lifted her head, and her eyes went wide with shock, as she saw that she was face to face with Aden’s groin area.

Belle chose that moment to walk along the beach, and the sight that greeted her wasn’t pretty.

“Aden Michael Jeffries, how dare you?” she screamed, and picked up a handful of the wet, mushy sand that was under her feet

Shocked, Aden turned around, and immediately stepped back from Nicole.

“Belle relax, I’m fully dressed. I promise! I was just joking around”

“Joking around with Nicole? That seems likely, as she sleeps with every guy in Summer Bay”

“Hey!” Nicole butted in, outrage clear on her face

“Nicole shut up. It’s true”, Aden and Belle spoke in unison

“Well, I’m changing my ways. I’m becoming a nun”, she announced again, just in case Belle hadn’t heard the news that was spreading like wildfire

“Yeah I heard about that, but I thought it was a joke”, Belle admitted, which made Nicole get to her feet and storm off

“Nic, you forgot your bible”, Aden called after her, and received the finger in return

“So babe, how are you?” Aden asked, and in answer, Belle threw the sand she was holding at his face.

“Belle, that’s cold,” he yelled, as he was wiping the sand away from his eyes

“Well, you deserve it”, she screamed, before turning on her heel and running away

“Women”, Aden muttered and sat down on the sand, next to Geoff, who had appeared out of nowhere.

“Tell me about it”, Geoff scowled, which really raised Aden’s curiosity levels

“What’s wrong bible boy?”

“Girl troubles. I’ve turned my last girlfriend into a nun, and now I think I’m falling in love with Ruby, who seems to be dating Xavier”

“Seems to be? And what happened to Martha?” Aden questioned, surprised at Geoff’s choice of words

“Well he doesn’t say anything, so I can never tell and I’m pretty sure I saw Martha kissing Jai the other day”, Geoff admitted

“Do you ever think we would be better off gay?” Aden asked, voicing the thought that had been drifting around his head for the last few days

“Sometimes I do. It would solve all these girl problems we always seem to be suffering from. Someone really has it out for us”

“Summer Bay is unlucky”, Aden agreed, and turned to face Geoff, who seemed to be staring at him as well.

As if attracted to each other by some invisible force, Geoff and Aden both moved towards each, Geoff puckering his lips in a somewhat unattractive face, which bore a striking resemblance to a goldfish.

Just as their lips were about to meet, both of the men realised what was happening and leapt to their feet.

“Well Geoff, I think I’m going to go and have a beer and then go and see Belle”, Aden said gruffly, trying to cover the fact that he had almost kissed Geoff

“Yeah, I’m going to go hammer some stuff... maybe some drywall,” Geoff replied, trying to sound manlier.

Aden extended his hand, and shook Geoff’s, before walking away from each other, both trying to forget about what had just happened on the beach

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Thank you for the reviews. This chapter is for Elainea, Bec and Steph :D Enjoy

Chapter Three: Tragic Accident

Martha sat quietly on the beach, shocked that no one had come to meddle in her affairs yet. Today was a confusing day for Martha, as it was the anniversary of her wedding to Jack, a year since she had been dumped by Hugo, six weeks since she had first gotten together with Geoff and two days since she had kissed Jai.

Sometimes Martha thought it would be better if she was a lesbian, but she didn’t want it to turn out like Charlie and Joey’s brief relationship. But speaking of Charlie... Martha had heard she was single, so there was possibility there.

And then, as always, someone had to come along and ruin the silence. This time, it was Geoff, and for some strange reason, Jai. Talk about awkward.

“Hey Martha”, they said in unison, reminding Martha of a choir instead of two young boys who liked nothing more than walking around shirtless

“Hi”, she said quietly, her voice sad and depressing to all who listened to it

“What’s wrong?” Geoff asked, and Jai leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on her arm, shockingly close to her chest area, something that Geoff noted with a glare

“Today’s an anniversary of a lot of painful days”, she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes, as Jai’s hand stroked her arm, and Geoff awkwardly patted her head, treating her more like a dog than a human being

“I heard you kissed Jai”, Geoff said somewhat conversationally, suddenly making it apparent that he wasn’t mature enough to date her. He should have been comforting her, not acting petty about a stupid, meaningless kiss

Martha turned towards Jai, whose smile lit up his whole face. “So I guess you and Geoff are breaking up”, he crowed triumphantly

Martha abruptly stood up. “God, why can’t you guys be more mature? I wanted some comfort, and instead you’re treating me like a prize for a competition”, she screamed, before storming off towards Stewarts Point

“Well, she’s not much of a prize”, Geoff whispered to Jai, who promptly burst into laughter, “I mean, have you seen her pole dancing routine? She falls onto her face about six times, and then is too tired to do anything else”

Later, up at the top of Stewarts Point, Martha was perched awkwardly on the wall that separated the pavement from the twenty foot drop of doom.

When did life get so difficult? She thought to herself, remembering the days when everything had been so easy, when she was new to Summer Bay, and everything had been fresh and new and exciting.

“Hey”, a woman whispered from behind her, and Martha turned her head round, not recognising the voice

“Hey, I’m Martha. You must be new to Summer Bay”, Martha said politely even though she didn’t really want to be talking to anyone right now

“Yeah, I’m here for a job”, the lady said, even though she still hadn’t given her name

“Working for someone in Summer Bay?” Martha asked, still looking out over the view, and not really paying much attention to the lady that had appeared out of thin area

“Actually, it’s an out of town assignment. My boss sent me here to do this one thing, and then I’m gone”, the woman explained, deliberately raising more questions that

she was answering

“So what’s the job?” Martha asked, turning her head slightly. This lady was becoming more and more curious, and Martha really wanted to unravel all her little snippets of information

“Well, I’m supposed to kill you and make it look like a suicide”, she replied casually, and Martha laughed awkwardly

“I don’t know why you’re laughing. I’m deadly serious”, the woman said, her eyes flashing and her legs taking small steps towards Martha

Martha scrambled backwards over the wall, forgetting all about the twenty foot drop of doom, and stumbled, losing her footing almost immediately.

“Help”, she screamed, as she began falling backwards, trying desperately to grab onto something, but only rocks were poking outwards, and they scratched at her hands as she struggled to get a decent grip.

“Well that was easy”, the woman announced, brushing the tiny specks of gravel from her hands and walking back to her push bike, pulling off the mask she was wearing along the way.

“I’m surprised she didn’t recognise my voice”, Nicole whispered to herself, “but I suppose she hasn’t spoken to me that much anyways. This nun thing was a good idea. I’m finally doing something with my life – the Lord’s work – and if killing Martha was the first step towards salvation, then I’m fine with that”

Nic pushed her blonde hair out of her face, and climbed onto the saddle of her bike, before peddling back towards Summer Bay, anxious to get away from the scene of Martha’s “suicide”

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Thanks for the reviews. I'm suprised you guys like this fic, I personally think it is really bad

Chapter Four: Summer Bay Surf Carnival

The sun reflected off the water, and warmed the residents that were already swimming. It was early in the morning, and Summer Bay’s annual Surf Carnival had just started

Alf was sitting in his chair of honour, under one of the tents. Instead of smiling with pleasure, Alf had a scowl on his face, which Irene quickly noticed

“What’s wrong dawl?” she questioned, whilst sitting on the sand and drawing a giant love heart

“These girls are wearing less and less clothes these days. One of these days, one of them is going to get skin cancer”, he growled, glaring at one the offending girls at the same time

“There’s nothing you can do about it”, Irene reassured him, writing a name in her love heart, before standing up and walking away, stopping to talk to Belle along the way.

Alf looked down at Irene’s work, and fell off his seat in shock. The love heart was drawn well, but on the inside, Irene had written a single word: Miles

Further down the beach, Aden had managed to pull Belle away from Irene.

“What do you want Aden?” she asked grumpily, not wanting to have another conversation with Aden about the state of their relationship

“You”, he whispered, while running his thumb delicately over her hand, and watching as Belle’s face softened

“That is so sweet”, she practically squealed and threw herself into Aden’s arms, but Aden hadn’t been expecting it, and toppled backwards onto the sand

“This could be a compromising situation”, he whispered, as Belle giggled on top of him

“Aden Jeffries, you have an extremely dirty mind”, she reprimanded him, and slapped him lightly on the arm

“Only when it involves you”, he reassured her, watching as she struggled to get back to her feet

“Come on slow poach, I want a hot dog!” Belle giggled, when she was finally standing up

Aden quickly jumped to his feet, and the pair walked off hand in hand, straight past Nicole, who was in a conversation with Geoff

Geoff stood with his hand on his hip, a pout on his face, as he glared at Nicole

“Geoff stop that, you look like a girl”, Nicole told him, working extremely hard to keep the smile off of her face

“Well, you’re supposed to be studying the bible, not parading around here dressed in next to nothing!” Geoff exclaimed, defending his belief system

“I’ve done enough of the Lord’s work Geoff, I’m taking a break”, Nicole retorted, while looking down at her bathing costume, which she actually thought was a decent size

“You can’t take a break from God Nicole; he’s everywhere all the time”

“Well then I quit!” Nicole screamed, and turned to storm off, but Geoff pulled her back, grabbing tightly onto Nicole’s bikini string

“You can’t quit God Nicole!”

“I just did”, she yelled even louder, until her face went red, and she turned to walk away again.

The whole of Summer Bay had turned around at the volume of Nicole’s voice, and now watched in horror as Nicole’s tiny bikini was untied and fell to the floor.

Geoff’s eyes went wide, and his mouth fell open in shock, but he didn’t look away.

“Getting yourself a good eyeful are you bible boy?” Aden yelled from down the beach, and then fell about laughing

“God Nicole, I am so sorry”, he stammered, his face going bright red but his eyes stayed rooted on Nicole’s chest

“You’ve seen them before Geoff, you don’t have to get all flustered”, she trilled, before kneeling down and picking up her bikini top. “Can you just help me put the twins

back in?”

Geoff swallowed, and cleared his throat. “Sure Nicole,” he whispered, and tied her up, making sure he let go before she ran off down the beach

Aden was the first person to come and stand beside Geoff, Belle not far behind him

“Well bible boy, you certainly got an eyeful. They’re nice aren’t they?” Aden laughed, but soon stopped when he saw the frown on Belle’s face

“Aden Jeffries, you aren’t supposed to be thinking of Nicole’s chest”, she yelled, before storming away, furious at what Aden had just said

“Sorry mate, I better go after her”, Aden whispered guiltily, but had to add a few more words before he left. “You might want to take care of that”, he said pointedly, eyeing Geoff’s groin area

Geoff gulped again, and started thinking of repulsive thoughts, like Irene dancing on Martha’s stripper pole, or Colleen offering to give him a lap dance...

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Thanks for the comments guys. Enjoy this chapter :D

Chapter Five: New “Hot” Couple. Dedicated to Mira... you sick minded person”


Miles walked up to Irene, and presented her with a large bunch of flowers

“What do you think of these?” he whispered huskily, taking Irene’s breath away

“They’re beautiful, my favourite flowers. How did you know?”

“The lady in the shop said that they were popular, so I bought them” Miles whispered, a puzzled look on his face

Irene stretched out her arms and grabbed them, quickly burying her nose in the flowers

“Umm Irene, what are you doing?” Miles questioned

“They’re for me, aren’t they?” she replied, her forehead quickly crinkling into confusion

“I was just asking if you liked them. They’re for Martha; I heard she was single again!” Miles explained, his voice still no more than a whisper

“Then what’s with the huskiness of your voice?” Irene hissed at him, her usually unflappable facade well and truly ruffled

“I’m coming down with tonsillitis. I’m losing my voice”, Miles announced, before turning on his heel and walking out the door, obviously on his way to find Martha.

Irene scowled, and threw her apron on the floor, storming out of the diner and onto the beach, stopping as soon as she was a reasonable distance away from Nicole and



“I’m sorry about the bikini incident”, Geoff stammered for the hundredth time

“Forget about it. I think it was a sign”

“What kind of sign? I love signs!” Geoff exclaimed, sounding like a kid on Christmas morning

“I don’t think I’m going to be a nun anymore. That wasn’t the path God wanted me to be on. So I’ve decided that I’m going to do something different with my life”

“Like what?” Geoff asked, getting more and more hyper with every passing second

“I think I’m going to become a prostitute” Nicole announced proudly, and Geoff’s face went bright red. It was clearly not the answer he had expected

“Are you sure?” he stammered, earning a scowl from Nicole

“I could be a prostitute. I’m hot, and young, and heaps of guys want to be with me!” Nicole exclaimed angrily, her eyes shooting daggers at him

“That’s not what I meant”, Geoff stuttered, but was interrupted halfway through. Nicole was obviously on a tangent

Nicole grabbed onto his hand, and placed it on her chest. “See! These are real!” she told him, “what guy wouldn’t want them?”

“I just meant that you could do better things with your life” Geoff said quietly, removing his hand from Nicole’s chest, and pulling her into a hug

“You are the sweetest guy ever”, Nicole trilled into his ear, and kissed him lightly on the cheek, before standing up

“Where are you going?” Geoff questioned. He had just felt a spark from Nicole’s kiss and he didn’t want to ever let her go again

“I’m meeting up with Aden... we’re trying to make Belle jealous, so that she begs him to take her back”, Nicole explained, and laughed

“But... I want to talk about that kiss. I felt something”

“It was just a peck on the cheek Geoff. I’ve got plans. We’ll talk later”, she said quietly, before running up the beach.

Geoff stood up and walked further down the beach, sitting down next to a crying Irene, and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders

“What’s wrong Irene?”

“I really thought he liked me, but he wants to be with Martha, just like everyone else does. I lost Jack to her, and then you and Jai”, Irene sobbed, and Geoff quickly pulled away his arm, just in case she got the wrong impression

“I was only joking about losing you and Jai. She’s only really taken Jack, and now Miles away from me”, Irene smiled through her tears

Geoff gulped, and nodded, still unsure whether Irene was joking or not.

“So you have the hots for Miles?” he asked, trying to steer the conversation away from the awkward moment.

“Yes”, Irene said wistfully, “that curly hair and the piggish way he eats his food... wow!”

Geoff nodded uncomfortably and stood up and walked away, leaving Irene with her thoughts.

However, like always, Irene wasn’t alone for long. Miles came and sat down beside her, quickly grasping onto her hand.

“I couldn’t find Martha”, he whispered, but Irene couldn’t bring herself to console him

“And then I realised something... I’ve been overlooking what was always right in front of me. You, Irene Roberts, complete me”

Irene gulped and her heart sped up. Her dreams were coming true... Miles had finally noticed her!

“That’s really sweet darl”, she said quietly, and squeezed his hand tightly

Miles quickly stood up and laughed lightly.

“Aprils Fool!” he told her, and burst into another hysterical fit of laughter

“But it’s not April’s Fools day”, Irene whispered, confused at the sudden turn of events

“Huh... well I’ll have to reuse this one! It was a beauty!” he chuckled again, and walked away, tears of joy pouring down his face.

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Chapter Six: The Green Eyed Monster

Warning: A quite sexual chapter...

Geoff smiled as he saw Aden and Nicole walk into the diner, mainly because he already knew that they were planning to make Belle jealous, but also because he had been thinking about Nicole for a long time last night.

Nicole smiled gently back at Geoff, before turning and getting involved in a conversation with Aden, whose eyes were drifting constantly back to Belle

Belle, who was pretending to make a coffee for an imaginary customer, kept glancing at Aden, and then blushing every time she caught Aden’s eyes.

Geoff got up, and quickly walked towards Belle. She didn’t know what was happening, and Geoff thought it was quite unfair

“Hey Belle”, he whispered, placing his hand high on her arm

“What are you doing?” she questioned, her brow wrinkling in confusion

“Aden and Nicole are trying to make you jealous, so I’m here to help you get even”, Geoff explained, and smiled when Belle nodded her head

“Ok Geoff... pretend you’re enjoying this”, she told him, before undoing her apron and announcing that she was going on a break. She grabbed Geoff’s hand, and guided

him to the couch. Geoff quickly sat down, and Belle sat on top of him, facing him.

“Now pretend to enjoy it”, she reminded him, and Geoff gulped nervously. Belle was much more experienced than him, and he had no idea what she was about to do.

Belle leaned forward and whispered in Geoff’s ear. “Put your hand on my chest”, she told him, but when Geoff didn’t do anything, Belle guided his hand for him. “Enjoy”, she whispered again, “not many guys get this show”

Geoff opened his mouth to reply, and Belle swopped down, and kissed him passionately, her tongue immediately going into his mouth as well

Geoff quickly got into the kiss, and his hand slid up Belle’s shirt, rubbing small circles on her navel, before working his way higher and higher, until he was on top of her bra

He was working on undoing the back of the bra, when Aden came over and tapped him on the shoulder. As soon as Geoff detached from Belle’s lips, Aden pulled Belle off of Geoff’s lap, and punched him in the face

“Keep your hands off my girlfriend bible boy”

“You’re not my boyfriend Aden! Geoff was just trying to help me make you jealous” Belle yelled

“Well then explain that”, Aden asked, his finger pointing at Geoff’s groin. “That’s twice in two days I’ve had to see Geoff with that little problem”

“We aren’t together anymore Aden... I can be with anyone I want” Belle reminded him

“That doesn’t include getting it on in the diner”, Aden said loudly, a lot of heads turning in his direction

“Come on Geoff, let’s go. I’ll sort out your problem”, Belle told Geoff, and grabbed Geoff’s hand, leaving Aden behind, his mouth hanging open

“Susan Belle Taylor”, Aden screamed, and ran straight after her

“What?” Belle yelled back

“Look, I’m sorry. Things got out of hand... I’m sorry. I love you”

Belle’s face immediately softened. “I love you too”

“What do you say about getting out of here, and having a quiet dinner... just me and you?”

“I thought you’d never ask”, Belle whispered, and they walked off together, back to the diner

Geoff sat down with a sigh... it looked like Belle wasn’t going to help him with his problem.

Before long, someone had come and sat down beside him... Colleen

“That show with Belle in the diner was disgraceful”, she squawked and Geoff sighed... this was going to be a long conversation

“We were just trying to make Aden and Nicole jealous”

“Don’t get me started on that Nicole.... it’s utterly disgraceful”, Colleen muttered

“Well Nicole has had a lot of problems in her life”, Geoff defended Nicole. It was an automatic response now... whenever anyone insulted her, he had to jump up to defend her

“If she isn’t careful, she’ll end up like Martha”

“But you’re related to Martha” Geoff said incredulously. He may have been old fashioned, but he believed that you were supposed to respect your family.

“Yes, but she’s been with all the young boys in town. She’s disrespecting herself”, Colleen explained her thoughts to Geoff

Colleen lifted herself off the ground... reminding Geoff of a beached whale, but he didn’t know why.

She leaned down slightly and kissed Geoff on the cheek, and then walked away.

Geoff wiped his cheek frantically, but then paused halfway through the process. Colleen’s kiss had sent sparks through him... much like Nicole’s had.

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  • 1 month later...

I am so sorry about the lack of updates. I went to write a chapter today, and this one was sitting there, waiting to be posted... I am so so sorry, I hope someone is still reading this

Chapter Seven: Colleen or Nicole... or maybe even Belle?

Geoff rolled over in bed, gripping his pillow tightly, as a loud moan escaped from his mouth...

Belle was lying in his bed next to him; Aden was nowhere to be seen. She was wearing one of those french maid outfits, and it hung perfectly from her slight curves.

Nicole was lying next to Belle... wearing even less than Belle...

And Colleen was the icing on the cake... laying next to Geoff wearing nothing at all... she leaned over and lowered her lips to his...

And that’s when Geoff woke up... droll dripping from his mouth onto his pillow, and he bolted straight upwards.

Now that... that was an unusual dream. Usually he only ever dreamt of Nicole, Belle and Colleen individually, but having them all together was just magical... the chemistry was electric.

But Geoff had no idea what was going on, so he picked up his cell phone and called his only guy friend... Aden Jefferies

“What do you want Bible Boy?” Aden grumbled as he picked up the phone. Geoff gulped loudly as he heard Belle giggle and beg Aden to come back to bed

“Well... I had this weird kind of dream...” Geoff mumbled, losing his confidence as he heard Belle giggle again, and Aden groan

“Spit it out Geoff”, Aden moaned. Geoff didn’t want to know if it was because Aden was annoyed, or because Belle was doing something unimaginable...

“I had a sexual dream, and I wanted to talk about it. You’re the only guy I really know”, Geoff yelled, frustrated with the way this conversation had turned out

“Come over then”, Aden said, and promptly hung up the phone.

Geoff quickly got dressed, and jogged to Aden’s house... desperate for help... little did he know that Belle and Aden were preparing to prank him...

Aden waited on the couch for Geoff to show up, a small smirk set on his face, as he thought about what was about to happen.

“Aden, can I come in?” Geoff called from the door

“Sure thing...” Aden replied, waiting for Geoff to come inside, and choking back laughter as he saw that Geoff had buttoned up his shirt wrong, and was wearing his pants inside out, and backwards.

“So can we talk?”

“Of course, that’s why you’re here”, Aden reassured him, and patted the couch beside him. Geoff quickly rushed over, and sat next to him.

“So what happened in your dream?” Aden asked, biting back the smile that was threatening to form on his face

“Well... I was in bed with Colleen, Nicole and Belle”, Geoff said, his face blushing red with embarrassment

“That sounds like a fairly normal dream”, Aden told him, trying to comfort him

At that moment, Belle walked into the room, wearing an extremely short skirt, stiletto heels and a half unbuttoned shirt.

Geoff’s mouth dropped open in shock, and he quickly looked away. Aden and Belle exchanged a smirk, as Aden’s eyes took in Belle’s somewhat inappropriate attire, and his smile grew more pronounced.

“Do you two boys want a drink?” Belle purred, a glint of laughter in her eyes, but Geoff didn’t notice, too busy trying not to stare at her.

“Yeah, we’ll have a beer each please babe”, Aden told Belle, who quickly sauntered to the kitchen, swaying her hips a couple of extra times for Geoff’s benefit

“So you were saying...” Aden reminded Geoff of the point of this visit, but Geoff wasn’t paying any attention, as Belle had just walked back into the room, carrying two beers

“Here you go”, she said quietly, and placed the beers on the table, “enjoy”

Geoff expected Belle to leave after that, but she sat on the chair opposite him, crossing her legs, and leaning forward so he had a clear view down her shirt.

“Geoff, do you mind not staring at my girlfriend?” Aden asked casually, and laughing as Geoff’s face blushed red with embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry Aden”, Geoff stammered out an apology

“Don’t worry Geoff, we were just pranking you, but about this Colleen thing... you might want to seek professional help about that attraction... it’s not right”, Belle joined in the conversation

“But she’s so beautiful... she meddles in everyone’s business, she’s so much older than me, and she always has a problem with things... what’s not to love?” Geoff defended Colleen, his eyes sparkling with lust.

“Let’s just say it’s taking several hundred steps backwards to go from Nicole to Colleen”, Belle said politely, but Geoff didn’t seem to understand her

“Belle, do you mind going upstairs and getting some more clothes on... Geoffy here is finding it hard to concentrate”, Aden said, with a giant chuckle spreading across his face

Belle bounded upstairs, and Aden turned to Geoff, trying to make him understand that dreaming about Colleen was disturbing

“Look Geoff, I understand that you think you love Colleen, but you can do better”, Aden began, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a business card

“Roman gave this to me before he left... he says this lady can work wonders... makes you forget all about the women troubles in your life. I’ve never used it, but Roman always had good taste”

Geoff eagerly took the card and looked down at it.

Leah Patterson-Baker

Caters for “special needs”

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Chapter Eight: The One With The Giant Accident

Geoff walked slowly to the ‘abandoned warehouse’, where he was supposed to be meeting Leah. She said that it was a private place, good for meetings that couldn’t be interrupted.

Geoff was slightly unsure what was going on. Her business card made her seem like a caterer, whereas her phone call had made her seem like a business woman. Geoff wasn’t sure if they were going to start a business together, or if they were embarking on a secret relationship.

Eventually, he opened the door of the ‘abandoned warehouse’, and walked inside. Leah was lying on a bed in the centre of the room, wearing a skimpy waitress outfit. She definitely wanted to go into business with him then... she obviously wanted to start another beach side cafe, and Geoff was to be the main waiter.

“Come here handsome”, she crooned, and Geoff walked over to her, sitting on the left hand side of the bed, and wondering just how much money he’d get per hour.

“Hey Leah, what’s up?” he asked, pulling a pen and paper out of his back pocket. He never went anywhere without his notebook and pretty purple pen.

“Well, I thought that you and I had an appointment, but you’ve got a notebook”, Leah said, confusion clear in her voice, and the lines that wrinkled her forehead.

“We do have an appointment, a business one...” Geoff reminded her, and Leah sat bolt upright. She saw a chance to milk Geoff for a lot of money, and she would take advantage of that situation.

“Oh yes, I remember now. Please excuse my indecent outfit; I came straight from the diner. I haven’t had dinner yet... any chance you can lend me a $50?”

Geoff didn’t question the amount that Leah asked for, and pulled out his wallet. Leah gasped when she saw that it was full of $50 and $100 notes. Leah pointed at a picture hanging on the wall, and when Geoff turned to look, she quickly stole his wallet.

Geoff didn’t notice that it was gone, as a large bang came from the door area, and both he and Leah turned to investigate the sound.

The door swung open and a large group of people pushed through the door, Irene leading the way, followed by Miles, Jai, Nicole, Aden, Belle, Annie, Xavier, Ruby, Colleen and Alf. The only people that weren’t there were Angelo and Charlie, as they were too busy investigating a DVD importation company down the road.

“What are you all doing here?” Leah yelled, desperately trying to cover herself up.

Irene stepped forward, and began to explain the group’s motives.

“I’m here because you forgot to feed VJ tonight; Miles thought that if he rescued you, then you’d fall in love with him, and live happily ever after. Jai is here to see if Martha is hiding in the ‘abandoned warehouse’; Nicole wants to see if there’s another sign from God in here. Belle’s here to make sure that Aden doesn’t do anything sexual with Nicole, and Aden’s here to tell Belle that he’ll never touch Nicole again. Annie’s come for the ride, because she doesn’t have enough money to go and see New Moon again; and Xavier is here because he wants to be involved in something for once. Ruby’s here because she thought she dropped her earring in here last week; Colleen is here because she wants to make sure that you don’t seduce Geoff, and Alf is here because he’s the only one qualified to rescue us”, Irene explained, as the group nodded their heads in agreement

Leah sat there speechless, while Geoff looked around in confusion. He had thought this was a business meeting, not a seduction scheme, as Irene had phrased it.

“Well, nothing strange seems to be going on here”, Xavier said sarcastically, and Alf dropped to the floor, suffering from a heart attack. After all, he had never heard

Xavier speak before.

Colleen went mental. Alf was her half-brother, despite the fact that he denied it at every opportunity. She flung herself at Xavier, intent on punishing him for talking, but missed, and took down Ruby, crushing her lungs and killing her in the process.

Xavier wanted to get involved, as some kind of twisted revenge act for his girlfriend who was taken before her time. He let out a strangled way cry, and launched himself at Colleen, but tripped over Aden’s leg, which unfortunately, had been stuck out at an attempt to lighten the situation. Xavier fell through the floor, and landed in a pool of crocodiles, which had been smuggled into Summer Bay.

Aden for some reason thought that this was hilarious, and burst into laughter. Belle looked over and glared at him, so he quickly stopped laughing, and walked away, in an attempt to rediscover his serious face. Unluckily, he forgot all about the gaping hole in the floor, and soon joined Xavier.

Belle sat down and cried, finally realizing that her relationship with Aden was over. She felt empty inside, knowing that the man she loved had just been devoured by crocodiles. Luckily she had a friend like Nicole though. Nic came over, slapped Belle in the face, and told her to stop being stupid and go and rescue Aden from the crocodiles.

Belle said that she’d only go down into that deep, dark hole if Nicole came with her, so the two girls climbed down into the crocodile hole, despite the fact that crocodiles were known to eat humans.

Miles stepped forward and picked up Leah, cradling her in his arms, attempting to rescue her... however, on his way out of the door, he tripped over the bodies of Colleen (who seemed to be unconscious, suffering from exhaustion), Alf, and Ruby, and landed awkwardly on the floor. Leah, however, shot out of Miles’ grip, and into the crocodile hole as well.

Just then, another loud bang came from the door area, and the surviving members of Summer Bay looked around to see who was there.

Charlie and Angelo were standing there, looks of triumph on their face.

“We found the cause of all this noise”, Angelo yelled, and Charlie nodded.

“There we were, next door, trying to crack the DVD importation program, and then we heard all this noise. Are you lot the masterminds behind this?” Charlie asked, and Irene burst into laughter.

“Us? Masterminds? I just watched five people fall down the same crocodile hole because they’d forgotten it was there”, Irene explained.

“The crocodile hole? Like the crocodile smuggling ring?” Angelo asked, his eyes widening with shock.

“Yes... I suppose so”, Irene said, still trying to put all the pieces together. After all, she wasn’t a highly trained police officer... she didn’t understand this stuff.

“We’ve found it”, Charlie and Angelo yelled, before breaking into some creepy sort of victory dance. Everyone looked around in shock, as yet another loud noise came from the door. This time it was Hugo... probably looking for his brother Xavier.

“Hey Hugo”, Angelo said politely. Hugo was a nice enough guy, and obviously not involved with any of this stuff... after all, he ran a dive business!

“Angelo, Charlie... Summer bay people”, Hugo yelled, “I see you’ve stumbled across my crocodile smuggling ring. Now you will all have to die”

With those words, he disappeared, and everyone was still looking around in shock when the bomb went off.

And so all of the residents of Summer Bay (with the exception of Hugo), perished in a fatal ‘abandoned warehouse’ “accident.”

The curse of the evil script writer has wiped them all out... but the evil script writer has one more chapter in him/her...

Stay tuned for the last instalment of Lighter Side (coming to your screens soon)

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Thanks for the reviews throughout this whole story, I've loved reading them... sorry I neglected this story so much... that's why I've ended it so soon... I lost my inspiration...

Chapter Nine: The curse strikes again

Seven years after the whole of Summer Bay was wiped out in a tragic “accident” at an ‘abandoned warehouse’, a new family stumbled across the town.

Lily and Michael Smith, and their four children: Katherine, Patricia, Miranda and Jason thought that the town looked quite quaint, despite the fact that the grass was over grown, and not much of the town was still standing. Katherine, the oldest, fell in love with the town straight away, but it might have had more to do with the hairy bush man running around, muttering things about crocodile smuggling rings, and the only survivor, than with the location.

“Michael, I’m not sure if we should stay here... this place seems a bit strange”, Lily told her husband once her three children had run off to explore the sights.

“Honey, you are too negative. This place is perfect”, Michael disagreed, but stroked Lily’s hand lovingly, before smiling softly at her.

“That hairy bush man has been whispering scary things”, Lily whispered, feeling silly for sharing her suspicions

“Like what?”

“He’s been talking about crocodile smuggling rings, and stuff about blowing up warehouses, as well as laughing that Nicole and Belle hadn’t managed to save the people who had

fallen into the crocodile hole”, Lily said quietly, looking up at Michael to gauge his reaction.

“I’m sure he’s just joking... probably trying to scare you off of the land” Michael reassured her, and before Lily could say anything else, Miranda came rushing back.

“Mum, Mum... me, Pat and Katy found a crocodile on the beach!” Miranda yelled, as her other two sisters rushed up behind her

“Yeah, and the bush man told us that his name was Hugo”, Katherine added

“He said that he’s guarding his crocodile smuggling ring, and he’ll blow up anyone who gets in the way. Apparently, the last people who found the crocodiles are all dead”, Patricia chimed in, sounding quite excited about her run in with Hugo.

“He gave us this ring... he said it belonged to one of his friends. It’s got the name Aden engraved on the inside. Apparently Aden was eaten by a crocodile”

“Where’s Jason?” Lily asked, trying to change the topic of conversation

“Oh, he went to investigate this giant hole in the ground... he thinks it was where this warehouse thingy was... we told Hugo, and he rushed off... muttering about punishing him for snooping around”

The Things we’ve Learnt From This Fiction:

And so the curse of Summer Bay starts again, but beware... one day soon, Hugo won’t have to guard Summer Bay anymore. He’ll move his crocodiles to a different town, and it might just be yours.

So watch out! If you get a suspicious looking guy rock up in your town, and the local cops are onto him, leave straight away. Don’t hang around to watch the “bad boy” flirting with his girlfriend AND the town nun/prostitute/murderer...

Don’t hang around to watch the not so smart boy try and understand women... it may seem hilariously funny at the time, but when you try and rescue him from the woman that may or may not be a call girl, you will end up in a crocodile hole, or blown into pieces.

However tempting it may be, don’t watch the town busybody getting herself into all kinds of sticky situations, because she might fall over on you, and crush your lungs.

So if you get this collection of people in your town, please leave straight away, so that you can avoid situations like the ones in this story.


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