standbyme Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 title: when she was you genrre: drama type of story: med / long fic rating: A cast: Amanda Vale, Jake Barry spoilers: none warning: language, adult themes plot: this is the story of Amanda and Jake Barry's (Belle's dad) relationship CHAPTER ONE Amanda sat in the back row of the classroom drooling over the guy on the athletics team and ignoring her friend Nancy's complaints about the canteen food She didn't know his name, all she knew is that he was hot with nice brown hair that looked soft, beautiful lips and fierce but yet angelic in some way eyes. "Do you agree?" Nancy asked "About what?" Amanda replied Nancy turned her head to see at what Amanda was staring at. "God Mandy, drool much" Nancy said "What?" Amanda said Amanda and Nancy were completely different personaslty, Amanda could pass as a princess while Nancy was goth looking. "You're staring at Jake" Nancy said "Jake?" "Jake Barry, you know Laura Barry's son" "Laura Barry who works at uncle coffin's cafe?" "Yes" "Oh, mum hates her" Nancy turned Amanda's head to face her. "Go say hello, since when do you care what your mother says" CHAPTER TWO UP SOON ps this is suppost to be call "when she was young" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 Good idea, good start, looking forward to seeing where you go with it. (And if you PM one of the librarians, I'm sure they'll change the title for you.Assuming they don't just read your "ps".) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgia Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 Interesting idea, and nice start. I wonder how it will pan out ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standbyme Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 CHAPTER TWO Amanda stood in the crowd watching Jake running and jumping over hurdles. "Did you ask him out?" Nancy asked standing beside her. "No, i chickened out" Amanda told her Nancy sighed then whistled "Go sexy jake" Nancy shouted then stood behind Amanda. Jake turned ans smiled flirtishly at Amanda. "Nanc, i swear i will kill you" Amanda said softly "Nancy hey, who's you friend?" Jake asked "Hey Jake, i guess you heard her whistle" Nancy said "Hi, i'm Amanda" Amanda butted in "Hello Amanda" Jake replied "I was thinking that maybe we should go out sometime" Amanda said "No we shouldn't" he repled Amanda frowned "But we will" he finish "Bye girls" he said and walked away CHAPTER THREE UP SOON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted October 7, 2009 Report Share Posted October 7, 2009 I can actually really imagine the young Amanda being like this.Her friendship with Nancy's great too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgia Posted October 7, 2009 Report Share Posted October 7, 2009 I read this earlier but forgot to comment. Sorry I really liked it. I can imagine a young Amanda like this, and her interactions with Nancy is really well written Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standbyme Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 CHAPTER 3 "Hey Amanda" Matt said, Matt was a guy three years older than her. And good looking and had a car which is what Amanda used like about him. "Need a ride?" he asked noticing she was walking back from netball practice. "Sure" she replied but then noticed a few of his friends in the car with him. A car pulled in front of them blocking them. Jake got out of driver's seat. "Get out the car" he told Amanda Amanda sat in the passenger seat staring at him. "Amanda" Jake shouted She noticed Jakes eyes were fierce and he was angry. Jake opened the door with his left hand and grabbed Amanda by the arm and dug his fingers in hard "Get in my car" Jake told her she did what he said When she shut the door she watched them arguing but could hear what they were saying. She noticed a spaner in Jakes right fist As Jake went to walk to his own car she saw him walk back to Matts car and hit the right light with the spanner. He got in the drivers seat. "What was that?" Amanda asked Jake ignored her as they drove away She noticed he was angry "You stupid, stupid idiot" Jake yelled at her "What" Amanda said "I could kill you right now" he yelled "Jake..." Amanda started to say something. "Do you know how many girl claim he forced himself on them?" He yelled again "I thought you were only 14" she said changing the subject. "I am" he said quietly but still angry "Then how come you're driving, and how did you know where i was?" "one, it's my brothers car and seeing his drunk and mums working i said i'd pick him up from his mates party anf two i didn't where you were i was driving past". he told her She reached over and kissed him. CHAPTER 4 UP SOON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgia Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Awww angry Jake This reminds me slightly of Aden and Belle.. I suppose Belle has got similarities to her Mum. Update soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ranger 1 Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Awww, I really like Jake, I like how he got angry protecting Amanda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standbyme Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 CHAPTER 4 Jake was sitting in his friends Clay's car. "Hey, get this Brian Hellswork is selling a latin playboy magazine" Clay said "And" Jake replied "C'mon man, latin chicks. We'll go three ways" Clay said "You me and Marcus" "No Murcus aint into magazines, but Joey will" "Ok but i get first choice of posters" Jake said "Sweet" Clay said and messed up Jakes har "Hey, how was Amanda Vale last night. I hear you were her hero" "Whats that suppost to mean?" "Oh come on are telling me you didn't get some" Clay said "It wasn't like that" Jake told him "What wasn't like what?" Joey asked leaning on the car. "Didn't you hear, our little Jakey here slept with Amanda Vale" Clay teased. "Really, what was she like? did she moan?" Joey also teased "I didn't sleep with her, i just gave her a ride" Jake told them "Oooohhh, did she enjoy her ride" Joey said Jake got out of the car and slammed the door. "Screw you guys, i'm outta here" Jake said CHAPTER 5 UP SOON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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