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Cancer- attitudes, values and beliefs


Guest adellejefferiesxox

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I don't think the strength of a person has anything to do with whether they accept or refuse treatment. There's no weakness in accepting death. In fact, I think it's one of the bravest things a person can do. When someone you love is so ill, it's not nice to see them going through so much pain, and I know I'd feel awful if I knew my loved one was putting themselves through complete agony just to try and make me happy.

I agree. I actually think in many cases I almost get annoyed and have more trouble understanding why people insist on getting more treatment if they've been told there's nothing more they can do. But I won't get too far into that, I'm not sure I'd like to discuss in detail some of the stuff related to that :P

But back to the question about discontinuing/refusing treatment. Like Jess is saying, I think it's admirable when someone finds the strength to accept death like that. I'm not sure I'd say brave, but that has more to do with my eternal battle to make people realize that there's a difference between instinct and being brave, but that's a whoooole other subject, so I won't get into that either. Anyway, my grandmother found out she had cancer that had spread to pretty much all vital organs. She didn't want treatment because she knew there was nothing the doctors could do, and she realized that being in her '70s, there's maybe a better way to go, with more dignity. And let me tell you this, just to make a point of why I think this is a decision that should be respected. Like in so many other discussions about ethics that I've participated in, I'd say it comes down to quality vs quantity of life. Maybe she would have gotten a month or two more with chemo and radiation, but in the end it wouldn't have cured the cancer, just delayed it killing her. She knew she'd live shorter without proper treatment, but she still chose not to take it. However, one of the doctors made a mistake about two weeks after she was diagnosed (she was in hospital from she was diagnosed until she died about a month later) and gave her chemo (pill form). It was just one or two doses in pill form, as far as I know, but even that ruined a couple of days for her because she got side effects that generally made her condition seem a lot worse. Without it she was mentally there, and not in too much pain (she was given morphine) for a long time, and to think that just a small slip up, leading to a little bit of treatment made her so much worse.

So yeah, to some degree I think people have the right to choose when and how they want to die. I don't think anyone in my family for a second thought my grandmother made the wrong decision by choosing three good weeks over three horrible months.

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On November 5th 2008, my Nan passed away after battling cancer. We had gone on holiday with her, campervanning around New Zealand and we knew she was sick then but we didn't know what was wrong with her and when she got back to England, she found out that she had cancer. She was told she had three months left to live, and my family and I were devasted, but she decided to fight it. She went through radiotherapy and chemo to shrink the tumours but in the end it just prolonged her pain. My Mum flew back to England by herself, because my Nan didn't want me and my sister to see her so sick. My Mum said it ruined all the memories of my Nan, because whenever she thinks of my Nan, all she can see is my Nan in her final days.

So, I think it is up to the patient to choose whether or not they want treatment, because they are the ones to deal the pain. We may think they are being selfish, but at the end of the day, it is their choice. My Nan tried treatment and cancer still took her. There are some days that I hate her for leaving us and giving up, but deep down I know that she tried her hardest to stay with us.

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Imo, You have to accept what is best for the person suffering. Have empathy. Remember, as selfish as it may be it is their choice. My uncle was told, if he didn't have chemotherapy he would die within six months. He chose to live his life to the full for as long as he possibly could without chemo. He died nine months later, but he knew he had done what he wanted to do. It wasn't a pleasant time for us at all.

Dunno if this helps.

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Thank you to everyone who has shared personal stories, I understand its very hard to open up about these things. At the present time, I haven't actually known a loved one who has developed cancer but I've known heaps of people with cancer and many of them live around me and the common cancer is Breast. I love reading your opinions and its not just down to the question whether its okay to deline treatment if the cancer is incurable. The discussion is open to explore all issues that arise due to cancer.

Here's a question, do the people around the vicitim suffer? Do you think that cancer can have the same affect on the person going through the disease as well as their friends and family? How does this make friends and family feel?

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Here's a question, do the people around the vicitim suffer? Do you think that cancer can have the same affect on the person going through the disease as well as their friends and family? How does this make friends and family feel?

I think that people around the victim do suffer. If you are really close to the person, it's like a part of you is actually dying. When I found out my Nan was dying, I felt as though I was sick, that's how sad I was. Also, I know for a fact that my mum and grandad suffered, because they had to watch my Nan fade away.

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