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Everything Changes (by Red Ranger 1) - comments


Louise_2983
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Thanks for your comments everyone.

It just feels like you're on some fastrack to resolve everything now instead of just letting it happen in way that it comes off more naturally, whether a slower pace or slight changes to the scenes could have made the difference, I'm not sure.

You could well be right but this is the length my stories tend to end up being, I'm not sure I can write any longer.

Like I said a slower pace or just slight changes to the scenes (you already had) could have made as much difference. I think it might have worked better to just see some signs of things going in the right direction with these characters and the their relationships with each other rather having it fully happen. Since chapter 16, it felt like you were either glossing over major stuff or kinda resorting to plot devices in an attempt to tie everything up in a neat little bow when it came to the relationships between the characters. I also felt like I had to make too many allowances in order to buy the situations you put them in, in order to achieve where you wanted the Nic/Mel and Geoff/Nic relationships to go. Anyways I just thought I'd try to explain what I meant properly. It doesn't really matter though, just felt a bit dissappointed by that.

Once again Annie, Jai, and Mel were great. I'm glad that Annie was in there with her. I had to laugh at the bit where Jai came in. I'm going to miss these three and the way you write them with each other the most when this fic ends. Kirsty and Miles parts were good too.

Edited by Jody
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There were some really good moments here. Quite a few quotes coming up.

Annie was nodding."It was amazing."She looked at Jai."How many do you think we should have?Seven?"

"Um. let me wait until I've blocked out the memory of hearing all those screams first."

They made me smile here. They have been doing that a lot in this fic.

"I tried to think of something you'd like,"Annie explained,"I thought of naming him after Pop or Dad but that didn't really seem to fit.But then I thought about after Pop died and someone who helped us both through it, who was like family to us...."

Geoff looked at her worriedly."You didn't name him after Scruffy, did you?"

:lol: Loved this tiny part. I'm glad that we got some interaction between Geoff and Annie, and the fact that it was a funny and kinda cute scene was a bonus.

Nicole wasn't sure where she intended to go after she reached the car park.She didn't really have a chance to decide either because suddenly Geoff was standing beside her."Is there a problem?"he asked.

"No.No problem."She sighed."You all look so right.You and Melody and that baby.You look like you belong together.I just need a while to get used to that, all right?"

"No."The answer stunned her."I don't want to have to avoid spending time with Luke because it's going to upset you.And I don't want to not be able to see you because I'm looking after him.We need to get this sorted now."

She tried every sympathy-inducing face she could.None of them seemed to affect him."Typical.You finally work out what you want just when I need you to be passive."

He smiled slightly and put his arm round her."Just give it a try, okay?"

A very big part of Nicole wanted to decline.But she remembered Geoff's request.Give it a try.She looked at Melody."Do you mind?"

Melody smiled."Well, I don't think you'll break him."

Nicole cautiously took the baby from Miles, feeling his tiny body resting against her.And found it very hard to be cross with anyone that adorable.She smiled at Geoff."He looks like you."

Annie sniffed."Poor kid."

That's more like it. I even liked that bit with Geoff and Nicole. You were able to show Geoff taking a stand about this and facing up to the reality of how it's going to be from now on while still showing how much he really wants this to work with Nicole as well. And it worked really well.

And the next bit of it showed Nicole taking a step in the right direction, even though she was still a bit reluctant (which I'm glad you mentioned rather then having her be perfect with it suddenly which I was kinda afraid would happen after the last few chapters). This part that I quoted here may have been two small scenes but it kinda gives me the feeling that they could actually have a chance of making this situation work, moreso then any of the last few chapters did.

We should never have got married in the first place,"Christine admitted,"I was lost when I met your father, I was just searching for security."

I liked this part. As much as I loved Geoff and Mel together on the show and do believe they truly cared about each other when I look back I kinda think this quote in some part applies to Mel's feelings for Geoff as well. Especially during Melody's second run on the show.

Christine nodded."Well I wasn't expecting to become a grandmother quite so soon but I am proud of the way you've handled this."

That's sweet. I'm sure that made Mel happy.

Stirred by the conversation going on around him, Geoff lifted his head uncertainly and gulped as he realised who was standing in front of him."Mrs.Jones!"

:lol: Had to mention this one. I could almost imagine Geoff reacting like that to see her.

Great chapter. I enjoyed reading this one. For me, it was a big improvement from the last few chapters.

Edited by Jody
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I loved the last few chapters but especially the last one. A little Mel and Geoff how cute. I may be in the minority but I loved Melody and Geoff together. :) I also loved Geoff's reaction to Mrs Jones that was really realistic and I could picture him doing that. Luke's a lovely name I love it. Brilliant work.

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Another great chapter. And a really good way to end things.

"Well... this is your home.Guess that's a new word to you.It means somewhere where you feel safe and where you're surrounded by people that love you.And there are a lot of people here that love you.I...I love you."It felt incredible just saying it. She'd never realised she could love someone as much as she did her son

That was lovely. Her explanation of what home is was especially good to read considering what her life with Christine was like. She's certainly come along way from that.

"Annie was trying to work out how long she should leave you alone before bursting in,"Jai explained.

"No, I wasn't,"Annie protested, blushing deeply,"I just wanted to come and see Luke."She looked placatingly at Melody."Can I just..?"

Melody smiled at her friend and passed her son into her arms."You remember your Auntie Annie, don't you?She's the one that we're going to have to stop spoiling you rotten when you get older."

"Might as well make a start now,"Jai commented,"I had to restrain her from buying all the booties in the shop."

"Well, you don't want his feet getting cold,"Annie pointed out logically.

Did I happen to mention how much I love these three together? I know I've been repeating myself with that but I can't help it. Their great together. Cute and funny at the same.

He sighed."I guess I was all geared up to have all that with Belle:marriage, children, a future.And then suddenly it was all gone.I think I was just trying to get at least some of it back."

"I think I'd be a pretty poor substitute for Belle."

"Anyone would be."He handed Luke back to her and then, to her surprise, kissed her on the cheek."But seeing you with this one..... you've definitely got as big a heart as she had."

Naturally I loved this part. That first highlighted part :wub: and kinda sad too. And the second one was really sweet.

I liked that you kept the scene with Aden short and sweet. It worked better this way. The scene with Nicole and Mel with Aden in one of the previous chapters was a bit too much. Aden really isn't a big part of this storyline so that whole part, while being written well, felt almost out of place.

I enjoyed the talk between Kirsty and Melody as well. That was a good scene.

Geoff came out of his room just after Aden had left.He stopped at the sight of Melody and Luke and checked his watch."You're early."

She smiled."I'd have thought you'd have been used to that by now."

:lol:

Geoff looked at her in surprise."She didn't tell you?Nic and I are moving in with Aden.The house is a bit big for him, we kind of need somewhere....."

This is probably the only thing I found issue with in this chapter. How is Geoff planning on affording rent, contributing when it comes to every day things like groceries and stuff, raising a kid, and supporting Nicole too since she doesn't have a job? Especially with a job that probably doesn't pay much. Wouldn't the better option be to stay with Irene until he can save up a bit. And while Geoff is old enough would Irene really be alright with him moving out? Same with Nicole. Roman asked Miles to take Nicole in for a reason. Would Miles really be okay with Nicole moving out and living with boyfriend? Especially when she has no job, which I'm sure he'd be fine with and rather have her focus on college, and most probably will need her boyfriend who already has alot on his plate to support her. I can't imagine that he wouldn't play his usual "voice of reason" role there. This is minor thing though so it didn't take away much from this chapter.

"I was thinking about something my dad said, about how I was the only good thing to come out of him and Mum.I don't know if he's the only thing but... I'm glad something good came out of us."

He met her gaze and smiled.And she could tell that it was the one thing they would always agree on, that there was someone in the world who was unbelievably special to both of them."Me too."

That was a good ending. It had a nice feel to it.

Edited by Jody
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