Georgia Posted July 15, 2009 Report Posted July 15, 2009 Type of story: undecided, depends on the review Rating: T Main Characters: Aden, Belle, Roman, Geoff, Nicole, Elliot, Annie, Jai, Rachel, Tony etc, most of the cast will appear Genre: Drama and romance Warnings: i dont think so , there might be some swear words but i'll try and minimise them Is Story being proof read: No Summary: This is how I think the Olympic Cliffhanger should have been written Chapter One: Belle Taylor swung her legs out of bed and looked around her. It was weird not waking up beside her boyfriend. Aden had gone to visit some family member and it was getting harder and harder to talk to him, even when they were finally on the phone he seemed really distant. On the bedside table, Belle's mobile vibrated, signalling a message. Sighing loudly, she picked up the phone just as it rang, a picture of Aden flashing on the screen. "Hey babe, I didn't wake you did I?", Aden's voice came crackling down the phone line. Even though hello babe was his typical greeting, there seemed to be something off about him. "No, I was just getting up. I have to help Annie with some homework. How's your Aunt?". Belle had a feeling inside of her that Aden hadn't gone to visit his Aunt but she loved him and would have to trust him on this one. "Ummmmm , she's OK I guess. Its hard being away from you though gorgeous. I'm missing your smile and I know your probably feeling worse, as I am irresistible", Aden said. Belle repressed a giggle, this was typical bad boy Aden and it was one of the things that had attracted him to her in the first place. She was just thinking up a reply when Aden quickly said "Got to run, talk to you later" and hung up the phone. Belle, still shocked that he had hung up, slowly put her mobile back onto the table. This new side of Aden was really worrying her. He had been away for a week now and he had only called 3 times and hadn't told her he loved her at all. Belle sighed deeply and swung her legs back into bed. Annie and her homework could wait. She wasn't up to facing the world yet. -------------------------------------------------------------------- On the other side of Summer Bay, Roman was sleeping deeply, next to him a smiling Charlie was pulling on her shoes, getting ready to leave after their "sleepover". She finished tying her laces and started to walk to the bedroom door quietly, not wanting to wake up Roman, let alone Nicole. Eventually Charlie got to the door and gently swung it open, heading for the stairs. As soon as she set foot on the first step, Charlie knew something was wrong, call it a cops intuition. She had never been wrong about it before and this wasn't going to be the first time. The sight before her was a mess. Someone had trashed the house, throwing the bookcase over, ripping apart the couch and rummanged threw all the draws. Charlie ran back to Roman's room and woke him up. "Roman, somethings wrong. Your whole house is trashed. It looks like a bulldoser has run over it" she stammered. Roman jumped out of bed but instead of going downstairs, he headed into Nicole's room. Charlie followed behind him. "Nic, Nic, wake up. Are you alright?" he asked frantically. Nicole's tousled blonde head poked up from under the covers and her eyes widened in shock and horror, "ROMAN, CHARLIE, GET OUT" Nicole screamed at the top of her voice. At that, another head popped out of the covers, this time it was Elliot, with a grin on his face and an evil look in his eyes. "S..sorry Nicole. The house has been trashed and I wanted to check if you were ok" Roman stammered, before trailing off. "It hasn't been trashed Roman, I had a party while you were out last night, chill out". Nicole said coldly. Roman just glared "We're going to talk about this later. Come on Charlie". Nicole, desperate to have the last word, mimicked him "We're going to talk about this later. Your typical line Roman". Luckily, Roman had already left and didn't hear the last comment, otherwise Nicole would have been in a million times more trouble. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Geoff had had the exact opposite morning of Nicole. He had gotten up, had breakfast and gone to the gym, before heading to the Den to chill out for a little bit. He was talking to Irene when Annie walked in, followed directly by Jai. At first Geoff hadn't liked Jai but then when he saw how happy Annie was, Jai had started to warm on him. Geoff walked up to them. "Hi Annie, hi Jai" he greeted them both with a smile but before they had a chance to reply a loud scream rang out and then gunshots were heard.
Georgia Posted July 15, 2009 Report Posted July 15, 2009 Chapter Two: comments would be appreciated please. Chapter Two: Nicole had finally made it out of bed and as she walked down the stairs, she winced at all the damage her party had caused. She headed for the door, hoping to make a run for it before Roman could hear her but it was too late. "Nicole, get in here" Roman yelled from the kitchen. Nicole slowly walked in, dreading the confrontation that was about to happen. "I'm very dissapointed in you Nicole" he continued, as Nicole rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "You should know better than having a party but its even sadder to find out that you are already sleeping with Elliot". "Roman, its none of your buisness who I sleep with" Nicole yelled at him, before spinning on her heel and heading out the front door. Roman ran after her but when he got to the door, all he could see was Nicole heading towards the Den. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the Den, Geoff, Annie and Jai were staring around. Less than 5 minutes ago, screams had been heard and shots fired but there was still no obvious source of the deafening sound. Just then, a well-manicured hand grabbed hold of the doorway and swung the owner into the room. It was Nicole, her timing awful, as usual. “Hi everyone, why the scared faces? Had a nightmare or something?” Nicole giggled at her own joke but every else was just staring at her. “What, have I done something wrong?” Nicole spoke again. Then another hand swung itself into the room, this time the person who was making the commotion, the owner of the gun. * Flashback * Why is this happening to me? It’s the night before what’s supposed to be the happiest day in my life. Everything seemed so perfect, the arrangements were perfectly planned and there couldn’t have been anything that could have been done with more detail. However, there had been a fight that day and I had stormed out, not seeing the object of my affection since. That night I headed home, slightly drunk but calmed down from that morning. “Hello, sweetheart, are you in here?” I called, louder than I intended to. When no reply came, I called out louder. “Look, lets not be mad. Tomorrow is meant to be the best day of our lives”, I finished before passing out on the couch. The next morning, I woke up just after 9am. I looked around the house, my bag was packed and standing next to the couch but something seemed missing. I had no time to ponder over it, as a loud knock on the door jolted me out of my head. “Hang on, I’m coming”, I called, wincing as the sound echoed of the walls. I swung open the door and stared out, there was a bunch of people standing there. Irene, Leah, Kirsty, Belle even Morag had all shown up to help the one I loved get prepared for the big day … or so I thought. They all spoke at once. “Have you seen her this morning because no one else has, she hasn’t called us, texted us, or dropped by since yesterday afternoon”. I stood shell shocked at the door. The one I loved had done a runner. * End Flashback * I swung the gun quickly round the room, noticing the shocked looks on everyone’s faces. I opened my mouth to talk but someone beat me too it. “Tony, don’t do something you’ll regret”
Georgia Posted July 15, 2009 Report Posted July 15, 2009 Chapter Two: comments would be appreciated please. Chapter Two: Nicole had finally made it out of bed and as she walked down the stairs, she winced at all the damage her party had caused. She headed for the door, hoping to make a run for it before Roman could hear her but it was too late. "Nicole, get in here" Roman yelled from the kitchen. Nicole slowly walked in, dreading the confrontation that was about to happen. "I'm very dissapointed in you Nicole" he continued, as Nicole rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "You should know better than having a party but its even sadder to find out that you are already sleeping with Elliot". "Roman, its none of your buisness who I sleep with" Nicole yelled at him, before spinning on her heel and heading out the front door. Roman ran after her but when he got to the door, all he could see was Nicole heading towards the Den. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the Den, Geoff, Annie and Jai were staring around. Less than 5 minutes ago, screams had been heard and shots fired but there was still no obvious source of the deafening sound. Just then, a well-manicured hand grabbed hold of the doorway and swung the owner into the room. It was Nicole, her timing awful, as usual. “Hi everyone, why the scared faces? Had a nightmare or something?” Nicole giggled at her own joke but every else was just staring at her. “What, have I done something wrong?” Nicole spoke again. Then another hand swung itself into the room, this time the person who was making the commotion, the owner of the gun. * Flashback * Why is this happening to me? It’s the night before what’s supposed to be the happiest day in my life. Everything seemed so perfect, the arrangements were perfectly planned and there couldn’t have been anything that could have been done with more detail. However, there had been a fight that day and I had stormed out, not seeing the object of my affection since. That night I headed home, slightly drunk but calmed down from that morning. “Hello, sweetheart, are you in here?” I called, louder than I intended to. When no reply came, I called out louder. “Look, lets not be mad. Tomorrow is meant to be the best day of our lives”, I finished before passing out on the couch. The next morning, I woke up just after 9am. I looked around the house, my bag was packed and standing next to the couch but something seemed missing. I had no time to ponder over it, as a loud knock on the door jolted me out of my head. “Hang on, I’m coming”, I called, wincing as the sound echoed of the walls. I swung open the door and stared out, there was a bunch of people standing there. Irene, Leah, Kirsty, Belle even Morag had all shown up to help the one I loved get prepared for the big day … or so I thought. They all spoke at once. “Have you seen her this morning because no one else has, she hasn’t called us, texted us, or dropped by since yesterday afternoon”. I stood shell shocked at the door. The one I loved had done a runner. * End Flashback * I swung the gun quickly round the room, noticing the shocked looks on everyone’s faces. I opened my mouth to talk but someone beat me too it. “Tony, don’t do something you’ll regret”
Danni02 Posted July 15, 2009 Report Posted July 15, 2009 This is really good so far! Didnt expect it to be Tony with the gun!
tessalove Posted July 15, 2009 Report Posted July 15, 2009 I really like this fic!! Its interesting, And the cliffhanger has been one of my fave storylines!! Continue soon!! xx
Georgia Posted July 16, 2009 Report Posted July 16, 2009 Chapter Three: More shots rang out as Tony squeezed down on the trigger. “You are the ones that know Rachel,” he screamed. “You should have persuaded her to stay”. Irene butted in. “Darl, if we had known that Rachel was going to try and run, we would have tried to convince her. We love the two of you together”. Tony shook his head. “No one in this town is happy with their love lives so you tried to take away mine. I thought you could have let be me happy for once but I was wrong. And now you are all going to pay”. This time Leah spoke up, even though it was hesitantly. “Tony, what are you going to do to us?” He continued talking. “You took away the one I loved the most and now I’m going to do the same to you.” The whole room let out an audible gasp, obviously shocked at Tony’s words. “Darl, are you really going to punish everyone in here, some people don’t know Rachel well at all and it doesn’t seem fair to hurt all their loved ones” Irene once again spoke up and the whole of the Den nodded their agreement. “OK, fine. I’ll just chose the people that knew Rachel most” Tony said, agreeing to Irene’s plan. “Leah, you knew Rachel really well, so I will take VJ from you”. At Tony’s words, Leah dropped silently to the floor. “Colleen, you get along well with Rachel, so I’m going to take Martha away”. Colleen, her face pale, stammered, “but she’s your son’s fiancée”, to which Tony just shook his head and said, “My fiancée has been taken so it seems a fitting compromise”. Sensing that there was no way to budge Tony, Colleen sat heavily on the couch. “Irene, Rachel trusted you and you could have convinced her but you didn’t, so for your punishment, I will take away Belle”. Irene gasped, her face as white as the wall behind her and leaned against the counter. “And even though she isn’t here, I’m going to punish Sally, as Rachel truly and deeply loves and respects her.” The whole room gasped. Who was Tony going to choose as Sally’s nearest and dearest. The door to the Den swung open and someone walked in. Tony turned around and shot, once, twice and then a third time. The newcomer fell to the floor. Colleen screamed, Leah (who had just come around), collapsed to the floor (again), Irene turned paler and everyone else’s eyes opened wide with horror and shock. The person on the floor was bleeding everywhere, slowly losing consciousness. “And that, in my opinion, was Sally’s nearest and dearest” Tony exclaimed to the Den.
tessalove Posted July 16, 2009 Report Posted July 16, 2009 Oh my gosh!!! Tonys gone crazy!! Wonder who he shot?? can't wait for an update!! x
Georgia Posted July 16, 2009 Report Posted July 16, 2009 Chapter Four: “Tony, calm down!” “How could you have done that?” “Tony, it’s Pippa. She’s never hurt anyone.” “A little girl can’t survive a gunshot wound like that” “Call an ambulance” The chorus of voices kept on and on and the noises were buzzing around Tony’s head, driving him mad. “SHUT UP! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP! NO ONE IS CALLING AN AMBULANCE” “But Tony –“ Irene interrupted, but Tony didn’t listen. “I’m not going to bother going after loved ones. I’ll just take whoever’s here. Leah, you should be thankful, you’ve just saved VJ’s life” “Tony”, Leah said quietly, “is this what you really want? Rachel could be in trouble. You should be out looking for her instead of in here. You leave and we’ll get Pippa to the hospital.” “Leah,” Tony said, before breaking into loud sobs, “I thought I had finally got it right. Rachel seemed perfect for me and I just wanted a quiet life after what happened with Beth. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I just wanted to get married to the woman I loved.” “Shhh, Tony, it’s OK. We’re going to find Rachel and everything will get sorted out. Just put down the gun” Tony started to slowly lower the gun, but a loud noise from the door distracted him. Nicole was standing half inside, and half out, beckoning for someone to come towards her. “Quick, hurry up. It’s a hostage situation. Tony has a gun, and he’s just shot Sally’s daughter,” everyone could hear Nicole whisper. “Nicole, step away from the door” Tony said angrily. “NO! You’ve almost killed a child today Tony. You have to deal with your feelings better than this. Sally is outside in hysterics because Pippa has been shot. How could you hurt her like that Tony? She’s one of your best friends. She hasn’t done anything wrong.” “I know what I’ve done is wrong and I know you guys don’t understand me so I will make you a deal. You can take Pippa to the hospital and tell Sally I’m sorry. Also, everyone can leave, except Nicole” Everyone rushed outside, desperate to escape the situation. “Nicole, it looks like you want to be a hero, so you can stay inside with the mad man and have a little heart to heart,” Tony told her, before ordering her to sit down opposite him “Today is going to be a long day”, he whispered to himself. please let me know what you think.
tessalove Posted July 16, 2009 Report Posted July 16, 2009 Oh my gosh Poor Nicole!! Update soon please!! xx
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