The Darkness

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 40

Nic helped Ella unpack at her new house. The furniture had arrived as well as the basics. After settling the children in and making sure they were asleep Ella collapsed on her new bed. Within moments she was asleep herself.

Nic pulled a cover over her and let herself out collecting Angel on the way out. She made her way to the Caravan Park and waited for her dad to wake up.

“How is Ella?” Miles asked.

“A mess. Thinks this is the only way.” Nic said sipping the coffee Miles had poured for her.

“I can’t possibly know what it is like for women to go through that but to also be in this position must be hell. I can see both sides.” Miles murmured.

He looked over and watched as Roman woke up.

“Here we go.” He said to her.

He poured out a coffee and took it over to the other man.

“Miles what the hell did you do to me?” Roman groaned.

“Nothing. You drank all by yourself.” Miles told him putting the cup in his hand.

Roman drank it in one and stood up. He looked over and saw Nic.

“What do you have to say?” he asked her, his tone harsh.

“Dad. “ Nic began.

“You helped her.” He said.

She nodded.

“Then I don’t want anything to do with you.” Roman told her and walked upstairs to the bathroom.

Nic blinked back tears.

“It’s ok, Nic. Hang in there.“ Miles told her. “Give him a minute.”

She nodded.

Roman came back down moments later.

“Are you still here?” he asked her nastily. He took a breath. “I’m sorry Nic.” He said after.

“Dad.” Nic began.

He sat down heavily on the sofa burying his head in his hands.

“Why?” He asked her. “I thought we were doing ok.”

“You have to have faith right now Dad. She needs you. Please trust us.” Nic said walking over to sit next to him.

“I can’t Nic. I can’t sit at home and look around seeing everything we’ve done and been through and sit back and say oh there is a reason. I need to know.” He groaned.

Slow tears fell from his eyes.

He looked up and looked at Nic’s face.

“No.” he moaned. “Tell me no.” He said.

Nic tried to say something but no words would get through her closed up throat.

Roman looked over at Miles and read his face.

“God no.” Roman groaned “she can’t.” he said the words coming in jumble. “I won’t let her. I won’t lose her.” He fell to his knees as Miles came over to his side and put his arms around him.

“It will kill her. She can’t.” he moaned. “Not his baby.”

Nic began crying.

“Dad.” She said trying to pacify him.

He flinched from her touch.

“Where is she?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I promised I wouldn’t tell you.” Nic told him. “She wouldn’t let me help other wise.”

“I don’t care. Tell me.” He ordered his daughter.

She shook her head, her long hair flying out of the hair clip and falling around her face.

Roman pulled away from them.

“Tell me Nicole.” He said coldly.

She shook her head again.

He put his hands on her arms with a bruising grip.

“I need to know.” He said. “Tell me.” He shook her.

“I can’t.” she gasped.

“Don’t you understand. She could die and she’ll risk that for his baby.” He said the words coming out clipped.

Nicole shook her head.

“Dad, you are hurting me.” She told him

He looked down at his hands on her arms and leg go as suddenly as he took hold of her.

Miles pulled him back.

“What good would you do in this state Roman?” Miles asked him. “You can’t drive anywhere. I have your keys for a start and for another thing your car is at the lookout. You are a mess. Go upstairs and get some sleep in the spare room.” Miles told him.

Roman shook his head before looking at them.

He stood and walked upstairs.

“Well that could have gone worse.” Miles told her. “Are you ok?” he asked Nic.

She nodded before bursting into tears.

Miles pulled her up on to the sofa and took her in his arms letting her cry. After a while he let her lay on the sofa and pulled a cover over her giving her some space.

Geoff knocked and walked through the door.

“Hey.” He said softly.

Nic looked up.

“Hey.” She told him.

He walked over to her and knelt by the sofa.

“Aden and Belle have Angel. Do you want to go and check on Ella?” he asked her.

She shook her head.

“I want to go home.” She told him.

Geoff nodded and helped her up. He saw red makes on the top of her arms but didn’t ask. She looked at him and burst into tears.

“I can’t tell him I promised but he is so hurt and El is a mess.” Nic told him, fresh tears falling from her sapphire eyes.

“How can I help them? “ she asked him.

“I don’t know Nic. I wish I could wave a magic wand and everything is ok but I can’t.” he whispered leading her out to the car. He settled her into the passenger seat clicking the seatbelt into place.

She smiled sadly.

Geoff reached up and stroked her face.

“I love you Nic.” he told her.

“Take me home and make love to me.” She begged huskily. “I need you.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Ella woke up in the dark and felt a stirring of panic. She reached for her phone and clicked it open. Within seconds she typed the two word message and sent it. She wiped tears from her face and looked at the baby monitor. Standing slowly she walked into the nursery and looked at the babies. Sophie was awake and looking at her. She walked over to her and picked her up holding her gently in her arms. She pressed her lips to her forehead before laying her back down in the cot. She clicked the hallway light on and walked downstairs.

Her phone beeped and she looked at the incoming message.

“I love you.”

She gasped as a wave of new pain washed over her.

She typed back she had to do this and she was sorry. She pressed the send button before she could change her mind feeling like this was the end of the world. She went into the kitchen and started unpacking the china and flatware before looking into the fridge to try and find something to eat. Nothing in there stirred her appetite so she settled on having some toast and some soup from a tin.

Her phone beeped again and she clicked it open.

“I love you we’ll get past this.” He’d written.

She moaned feeling as though someone had hit her.

“We can’t get past this. I’ve left you and we need to be apart.” She typed and sent.

Her phone beeped again.

“I love you. You are my wife. I won’t accept that this is the end.” He’d typed.

She closed the phone and walked into the lounge carrying her dinner. She bit into her toast when her phone went again.

She opened it and read.

“I love you. I don’t know what else to say to you. If I have to accept that you need to be apart from me then you need to accept that I can’t be apart from you”

She sighed.

“I will change my number. Give me space.” She typed and sent. She switched the phone off and finished eating before making her way back upstairs and going to see to the babies before she went back to bed. She left the hall light on so that it wasn’t dark.

She woke three times with different nightmares. Each time she was using it as an excuse to see her babies. She eventually clicked her phone on and was strangely disappointed that there were no more messages.

It was mid morning when she awoke and she immediately looked at her phone. No new messages. She sighed and typed out that she was sorry and she loved him and she needed him now more than ever but she didn’t know how to tell him she was pregnant. Immediately after typing it she deleted the message and got up to start the day.

She set up the bassinet in the lounge and put the babies into it while she sorted out her photos and other things.

Roman ordered the flowers and gave his credit card details. He handed the phone over to Nic and walked out of the room and turned his back to her. She waited until she was sure he couldn’t hear her and gave the address details. She thought this was a really bad idea but as long as he didn’t get the address out of her she went along with it. She ended the call and clicked the phone shut handing it back to him.

He pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“Thank you Nic.” He told her and walked out back home. He saw immediately the things she’d taken and sighed. He walked upstairs and looked in their bedroom first before looking into the nursery. She’d left it pretty much intact meaning that she intended the babies to be back at some point.

He found himself tearing up at the sight of a lone teddy bear siting in the cot and tried to pull himself together but failed and took the teddy to their bedroom lying down on the bed.

She heard the knock at the door and gasped wondering if he’d got the address out of Nic. Then pulling herself together she went to answer it. She opened the door and was presented with a display of flowers. She signed for the delivery and lifted them inside.

Placing them on the improvised dinning table she opened the accompanying card.

“I love you.” Was written in bold with the initial R after it. She felt herself tearing up and reached for her phone.

“Stop trying to get round me.” She typed and sent. Then she added. “PS thank you for the flowers” and sent that too.

Minutes later her phone beeped.

“Your welcome.” He typed.

She smiled despite herself.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 41

“Let me know what shifts you are doing at the diner pls.” She typed and sent. Within minutes he’d replied with. “Early mornings”

She looked at the two words and realised she missed the “xx” he usually put at the end. She sighed, before walking into the kitchen and putting the kettle on. She made a cup of herbal tea and took it outside on the back veranda looking out on the wilderness that passed for a garden. The children were in the bassinet beside her and she’d managed to resist texting him back for at least a couple more minutes.

“Would you like to see the twins this pm?” she typed and unconsciously put an “x” at the end. She hit send before she realised.

“Oh crap.” She muttered and then looked over at Georgie and Sophie. “That had better not be your first word.” She warned them.

Sophie looked at her wisely and she laughed out loud at her daughter. Sophie then pursed her lips and blew a raspberry.

“Oh you think that is funny do you madam?” she giggled and went over to her daughter and tickled her, seeing her legs kick and hearing her little giggle made her smile all over again. She turned and did the same with Georgie before pressing her lips to their bellies and kissing them.

Her phone beeped and she walked over to it, feeling her heart pound with a mixture of fear and excitement.

“Yes pls.” He replied. “What time and where?” she scrolled down the screen and looked for her returning “x” and sighed when it wasn’t there.

“Your mummy is completely mad.” She told the children.

Sophie looked like she nodded and El had to do a double take.

The phone beeped again.

“Pls don’t “x” me because you’ll only get mad when I send one back.” She read.

“Double Crap!” she exclaimed.

She glanced at Georgie and saw his lips move as if he were testing out the C word. “Don’t you dare my boy.” She told him.

She picked up the phone and typed a message. “I’ll bring them to the diner? House? Beach? Around 2ish? XX (from G &S)” and hit send. She found she was still laughing when her phone beeped again.

“Diner. 2. XX to G&S.” She read and then the phone beeped again. “To G&S please tell mummy XX 2!”

Ella read the message before rereading it again and found she was giggly all over again. She tucked the phone in her pocket and picking up her gardening gloves and started tackling the weeds.

Miles looked over at him.

“And why are you smiling.” He couldn’t resist asking.

Roman looked at his friend and drinking companion and took another long drink of his coffee.

“She’s bringing the twins to see me this afternoon.” Roman told him.

“Maybe you should go home and shower and err… shave?” Miles suggested.

Roman nodded.

“And Miles never ever get me that drunk again.” Roman cursed.

Miles laughed.

“You decided to drink that third bottle of whisky last night.” Miles commented, holding his hands up in a pacifying gesture.

Roman laughed and then cursed the resulting thump in his head.

“I’m going to go sort myself out. I’ll talk to you later.” He told him.

He stood and walked out of the diner then turned back around.

“Miles, thank you.” He said.

Miles nodded and picked up his cup.

“My pleasure! For once I’m not the one feeling like crap the morning after!” Miles grinned.

Roman turned and walked out; he ran back home and striped off his clothes to jump straight into the shower letting the water run over his tired and aching body. She was bringing the twins to see him and he would see her. Maybe they could talk he thought and that brought a smile to his face.

He pulled on clean clothes and headed back out to the diner. Ordering a strong coffee and waited.

“Sorry I’m late.” El said to him. “You’re son decided to have a mental as I was trying to get him dressed. She pushed the buggy closer and sat next to him. She hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time.

“I was going to ask Nic to bring them to you but we can be adult about this can’t we?” she asked smiling at him.

He nodded, unable to speak.

Ella was wearing a dress. A short sexy little flowing dress. He hadn’t seen her in a dress since, well since, and her hair was loose. He suspected that she was also wearing make up. Her lips were shiny. He caught a scent of perfume too.

“Hey there.” He said eventually, feeling like he had to say something. “Well I was going to act like a 10 year old but Miles threatened to ground me.” Roman said finally.

She laughed out loud at his pathetic attempt at humour and he couldn’t help smiling.

“So what do you want to do? “ she asked.

“We could go for a walk along the beach?” he suggested, somewhat hopefully.

She continued to smile at him.

“Ok.” she said.

She manoeuvred the buggy out and they headed for the beach. She moved to one side and let him take the buggy.

“Are you settled?” he asked. “I know it’s only been a couple of days.”

She smiled.

“More or less. I have a huge garden to tackle.” She commented. “I want to plant some fruit trees and have a little orchard. I found some rose buses too today.” She said and showed him the scratches on her arm. “And not the easy way!”

He chuckled.

He wondered if he reached out to her whether she would tuck her hand in his just like before. Wisely, he decided not to try it despite the strong temptation.

“Tell me about the house.” He said instead.

“Colonial, 5 bedrooms. Needs a bit of work although that may be an understatement. I have a front and back veranda so I can sit outside most of the time. I don’t know how I’m going to child proof the back garden yet.” She turned and looked at him and saw he was smiling. “What?” she asked.

“I’m biting my lip not to offer my help.” he grinned.

She laughed.

“Maybe in a little while.” She promised him and before she could stop herself she stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth.

He laughed and put his arm around her as they continued their walk.

They reached the end of the path.

“I have to disappear for a bit. How about I meet you back at the diner later?” she told him.

A flash of disappointment went through him.

“Sure.” He said quickly.

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way. There are bottles and everything in the bag.” She told him and pressed another kiss to him before walking off. He watched her go and smiled slowly.

“That was better than I hoped for.” He told the children. “ A lot better.” He made his way back to the diner pushing them slowly.

Ella had to run back to her car as she was again running late, no pun intended. She hadn’t intended to stay with Roman but it seemed easy to stay and chat and she’d kissed him too. Ok, she hadn’t planned on that bit. Or maybe she had, oh crap, she thought and looked down at her dress. Nice job of sending mixed messages. I don’t want to be with you but look at what you are missing.

“Double double Crap!” she muttered.

She pulled up outside Yabbie creek police station and saw Louise waiting for her.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

Louise smiled.

“I just got here myself.” She told her. “No need to guess where you were you are blushing.”

Ella laughed.

“I am so not.”

Louise laughed at her again.

“Are you ready for this?” Ella asked her sobering.

“Yes.” Louise nodded.

They walked into the police station and Ella asked to see Charlie. They were shown into a side room and after Charlie came in Louise gave her statement. Ella stepped outside as Charlie showed some photos to see if Louise could identify her attacker. She waited until the door opened and she saw Louise crying. She walked over to her and put her arms around her.

Looking up she saw Charlie nodding.

“I want to press charges.” Ella told her.

“Are you sure Ella? It will go to court and you’ll have to testify.” Charlie asked.

Ella nodded.

“He can’t get away with it.” she told her.

Charlie smiled sadly.

“Then we’ll go ahead.” She told her.

Louise looked up.

“You need to tell her.” She said to Ella.

Ella nodded.

She walked away and closed the door. Taking a deep breath she turned and looked at Charlie.

“I’m pregnant.” She told her.

“Is it…” Charlie began to ask.

Ella nodded.

“If I press charges will he have any claim to the baby?” Ella asked.

Charlie shook her head slowly.

“Not that I know of Ella but I have to say I know of a man who went to the court of human rights to get access to his child who was born from an attack.” Charlie told her. “I think if you do go down this route you have to be sure that you can handle it. You and Roman.”

Ella looked up.

“I’m no longer with Roman.” She said the words out loud for the first time, surprised at how much the words hurt.

“Why?” Charlie gasped. “Surely he didn’t…” she began.

Louise interrupted.

“No he didn’t. She left him before she gave him the chance to.”

Ella glared at her.

“Well it’s true.” Louise said. “I bet he would be with you right now and you are mad about him.”

Ella shook her head.

“Louise its not that simple.” She tried to tell her but further words wouldn't come.

Charlie walked over to her and gave her a hug.

“Hey, does this mean he is available?” she asked her. “Because he was a good kisser.”

Ella glared at her.

Charlie laughed.

“Not mad at all about him are you?” she said softly.

Ella looked at them.

“It’s not simple, I tell him and everything falls into place.” Ella told them both, folding her arms across her chest.

“Has Rachel said anything about the pregnancy?” Charlie asked.

Ella shook her head.

“Isn’t it just the thing, everything seems to be going ok this time. Not even a hint of morning sickness” She told them sadly. “But it’s still a risk. My blood pressure has to be monitored.”

“Sounds like more reason to tell him.” Charlie told her.

Ella nodded.

“Fine I give in.” she said. “Are you ok?” she asked Louise.

“Yes. I have to come in next week to have some forensic photographs taken and sign the statement.” She said. “I want to press charges too.” She added.

Charlie nodded.

“Ok. I’ll be in touch soon.” She said and showed them out.

Ella gave Louise another hug and watched as she pulled out and drove off. She turned and saw Charlie behind her.

“Hey.” She said.

“Tell him El, he deserves that.” She said softly.

Ella nodded slowly feeling her throat tighten.

“I will.” She promised.

She climbed into her car and pulled out heading for the diner, forgetting that she had promised to text him. She pulled into the car park and stopped the car. She saw him there sitting outside. He had Georgie on his lap and was talking. He paused and looked up his eyes scanning until he saw her as though he automatically knew she was there. She smiled at him and walked over to them.

“Hey, thought you were going to text me.” He told her.

“Sorry I was distracted.” She murmured.

“You’ve not come to get them already have you?” he asked disappointed.

She shook her head but reached out and picked Georgie out of his arms and put him in the buggy. She took hold of his hand and pulled. He stood and followed her a little way off.

She held his hand tight and took a breath.

“El?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I’m ok.” she told him quickly. “Everything is fine.” She added.

“Ok.” he said.

“Roman, “ she began and found her eyes filling with tears. “I’m pregnant.” She said finally.

“I know.” He told her. “It’s the only reason you would leave me.”

She began crying and he took her into his arms.

“Well maybe not the only reason.” He added. “I’m sure you could think of a few more.”

She looked at him.

“Did you think it would matter to me?” he said his tone becoming angry. “You are still the woman I love and want to be with.”

She shook her head.

“I know. I do know but it matters to me. I’m sorry I never meant to hurt you but I couldn’t, not while.” She said unintelligibly.

He chuckled.

“Does that come with a translation?” he asked.

She glared at him.

He smiled at her wiping tears from her face.

“Adding more reasons to the list?” he asked and she nodded.

“Come on let me buy you an ice cream.” He told her leading her over to the table.

“There’s more.” She said. “I’m pressing charges.”

He nodded.

“Ok.” he said.

“He might…” she began, pressing a hand to her belly.

“As far as I am concerned this is my baby.” Roman said gently.

She burst into tears.

He pulled her back into his arms.

“I love you.” He told her emotionally.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 42

Ella pinned her hair on top of her head and peeled her clothes off dropping them on the floor of her bedroom. She stepped through to the bathroom and reached for the shower curtain. She took a breath and screamed loudly. Grabbing a towel she looked again and screamed some more. It was black. It had 8 legs and it was big. She glared at it trying to intimidate it into something that would involve it disappearing.

She took a step towards it and it raised its front legs up. She screamed again.

Running back into her bedroom she picked up her phone and dialled.

“Hello.” Roman said. “I’m kinda busy here.”

“I need you.” She said shakily.

“That’s nice to hear but you pointed out that we are separated. I’m sort of out at the moment.” Roman told her looking up at Miles who was smiling at him.

“You are on a date?” she screeched.

“Sort of.” He replied looking over at Miles, and Kirsty.

“I have a problem and I need you.” She told him trying to calm down.

“What is it?” he asked. “And can you hurry up.”

“Fine. I have a spider in the bathtub and I need to take a shower.” She told him.

“Is that all?” he asked. “I can’t really help can I?”

“Look please, Roman, I really can’t deal with it.” she begged huskily thinking of the spider.

“Hold on, let me explain to her.” Roman said and then grinned as he heard Ella exclaim “Her!”

“Look I’m sorry abut this but I may have to cut our evening short my ex-wife has a problem.” He said and motioned to Miles to shut up as he was starting to laugh too loud.

He put the phone back to his ear.

“Ex-wife?” she asked nastily.

“Well that’s what you want isn’t it?” he asked.

“I don’t know I hadn’t thought about it.” she confessed. “But if you are moving on.”

“Sorry. I’m just doing what you want El, you’re the one who said you didn’t love me.” Roman said softly.

“Look I need to go. Why don’t you think about it a bit more.” He hung up the phone and looked at Miles and smiled.

“She is going to kill you.” Miles commented.

Roman shrugged and then smiled as his phone rang.

“Fine. I love you I don’t want a divorce and I don’t want you to date now can you come and get this spider please.” El said quickly.

“Hang on.” He said and paused, as if someone was speaking to him before adding. ”Address?” he asked.

She recited the address and hung up.

Roman grinned.

“I am so not playing poker with you.” Miles said laughing.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Roman said.

“Don’t you mean later?” Miles asked him.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” he said grinning.

He knocked on the door and then opened it.

“I’m up here.” She called out.

He went up the stairs and followed the voice.

“Hello.” He said looking her up and down.

She self consciously pulled the towel tighter around her regretting not getting dressed but she wanted to make sure the spider didn’t move.

He went into the bathroom and swore.

“Surely you aren’t afraid of a little spider are you?” she asked grinning

“A little one no, but why don’t you just give this one the lease and move out.” He suggested. He reached onto the bathroom shelf and picked up a tumbler and put it over the top of the spider. He looked at her and she went and found a piece of paper and handed it to him.

He put it underneath and scooped the spider up walking slowly downstairs she opened the door for him and he walked as far from the house as possible before letting the spider loose, he whispered his thanks to it and stepped hurriedly away before it tried to get him. Turning around he went back into the house and closed the door.

“You didn’t kill it?” she asked.

“Of course not.” He told her, grinning.

“Kitchen?” he asked.

She pointed and he started walking towards it when she called out.

“Stop.” She said.

He turned and looked at her.

She blushed.

“I haven’t tidied the kitchen today and the dishwasher isn’t plumbed in.” she confessed.

“You’re worried about a little bit of mess?” he asked.

She looked at her feet.

“Not a little bit.” She told him.

He pushed open the door and burst out laughing.

“Fine.” He told her. “You go get your shower and I’ll sort this out.”

“No its my mess.” She protested.

He turned and smirked at her.

“Well you can help me but that towel is quite short and I can see just about everything.” He told her.

She muttered “Eek!” and ran upstairs, listening to his mocking laughter.

He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and using the tools he found he plumbed in the dishwasher. He loaded it and added detergent before switching it on and letting it run through a cycle. Using the anti-bacterial spray he wiped down all the tops and had made himself a coffee by the time she came downstairs.

He looked her over as though seeing her for the first time. She had pinned her wet hair up and was wearing a baggy off the shoulder top and hot pants in a hot pink colour.

He handed her a cup of herbal tea and she sipped it.

“Thank you.” She told him.

“Your welcome.” He replied.

She led him through to the lounge and sank onto the sofa. As there was only one sofa he had no choice but to sit next to her. He put his cup down.

She tucked her legs up on the sofa and he found his arm going round her automatically.

“I’m sorry I ruined your date.” She said softly placing her cup on the table.

“I don’t think it was going anywhere anyway.” He said.

“Really?” she asked feeling hope build up in her.

“Yeah.” He said not adding any new information.

She glared at him.

“Miles is not really my type.” He said at last.

“You pig!” she gasped and hit him.

He caught hold of her hands and looked at her.

“Did you think I could possibly get over loving you that quickly?” he asked her softly.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

He leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed him back hungrily. He let go of her hands and she put them around his neck pulling him towards her. They half lay on the sofa and his hands were finding their way up her top. She moaned against his lips.

He pulled back and looked at her.

“Is this alright?” he asked.

She nodded.

“And the baby?” he asked.

“We’re fine. I asked Rachel.” She said blushing.

He grinned.

“Can we go upstairs?” he asked.

She nodded and stood slowly leading him up the stairs and to her bedroom. She placed her hands on his face keeping him focused on her.

“This is so I don’t notice the mess isn’t it?” he asked.

She smiled.

“My wardrobe is flat pack and I haven’t put it together yet.“ she told him.

“Well if I have any energy left in the morning I’ll see what I can do.”

She grinned.

“I meant..” he began.

“I know.” She said.

She kissed him and tugged his shirt out of his trousers so she could slide her hands underneath.

“You feel very nice.” She told him.

He smiled and pulled her top off then he pulled at the buttons on his shirt and stripped it off quickly throwing it to the floor. He lifted her onto the bed kneeling down next to her.

“I don’t think I can wait.” He told her.

She laughed and undid the hot pants and wriggling out of them.

He pressed hungry kisses down her body before feasting back on her mouth. She responded pulling him to her.

“I want you.” She whispered.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 43

“Hey.” He called.

“I’m round the back.” She replied.

He walked though the house and out to the back. She was wearing another pair of short shorts and his blood pressure shot up. She’d teamed it this time with a red bikini top.

“Good god woman are you trying to kill me?” he asked looking at her.

She blushed, the fiery colour washed up from her chest to her face.

“I was hot.” She told him.

He grinned.

“You are very hot.” He walked over to her and picked her up pressing her close to his body and kissing her long and hard.

She laughed when he finally released her.

“I’m sure that these becoming gardening gloves do things for you too.” She murmured waving her covered hands.

He laughed.

“Only on you.” He told her.

“So come on.” She began and gestured to the garden. “What do you think?”

He looked round and saw borders where previously there had been none with lots of flowers. He loved the herb garden she’d created to the side.

“It’s beautiful.” He told her. “I have a present for you.”

She smiled.

“Another one?” she asked.

“Uh huh.” He said and pulled her to him holding her for a long moment.

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder. She pulled away and pulled off her gloves pressing her hand on her belly.

“The baby?” he asked.

She nodded.

He pulled away.

“Roman?” she asked.

“I love you El, I just need a moment.” He said.

She nodded looking sad.

“Don’t “ he told her. “I can’t help it. I know I’ll love the baby because he or she is part of you but I’m not there yet ok?”

She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“What is my present then?” she asked.

He held out his hand and tugged her to him. Kissing her slowly. Then walking hand in hand to his car. He opened the back door and showed the cat carrier.

“You brought my cat?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Took me ages to catch her.” He confessed.

She laughed.

She bent down to the front of the carrier and put her fingers through the wire. He went to stop her but the cat started purring. He looked down at the plasters he had on his hand and cursed the thing again. She, the cat, glared at him with her yellow green eyes.

She turned and threw herself at him.

“I love you.” She told him huskily.

He held her and started laughing.

“I love you too.” He said and pressed her against him. He felt the baby kick between them and he almost dropped her. She pulled away and he let her. He picked out the carrier and handed it to her while he collected the things the pet shop had recommended, a litter tray, food, cat bowls, toys, cat litter, and etc and carried that to the house.

“I don’t know where you are going to keep her but they said to keep her in for a few weeks to get her used to a new home.” He told her, and knew his voice sounded strained.

“There is a pantry I never use so she can go in there.” Ella told him.

They settled the cat in the small room and El fed her before releasing her from the carrier and shutting her in temporarily.

She looked at him.

“How is this going to work?” she asked him.

“I don’t know. I’m going to make it work though.” He promised.

“I have a scan tomorrow.” She said into the sudden silence.

“What time?” he asked.

“It’s at 3.” She told him.

“Ok I’ll meet you there?” he asked.

She nodded and they fell silent again.

“I hate this.” He said eventually folding his arms across his chest.

She nodded and a tear fell from her eye.

“What about if we have counselling?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Do you think it will help?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She mirrored his response. “We can’t keep on like this can we? Every time it comes to the baby you freeze up and I stop being excited.”

“Are you?” he asked.

She nodded.

She tugged on his hand and led him upstairs to the nursery. She opened the door and he saw that she had decorated the room and added the extra cot already.

“I put it up for Angel originally.” She told him softly trying not to wake the twins who were in their own cots.

He looked at her seeing her shining eyes and beautiful smile.

“I think Sophie knows.” She told him. “Our daughter is very wise. I think she has an old soul.”

She turned towards him.

“I love you and this baby. I can’t choose. I did once and it hurt so much.” She said to him pressing her hand on her belly. “He or she will be here sooner than we are ready for. I’m 26 weeks. My blood pressure is fine. Everything is normal.” She said. “This baby is a miracle because I didn’t think I could have another one.”

He turned her towards him.

“I was scared El. I was scared that this baby was going to take you away from us and instead it’s me isn’t it?” he asked. “I’m pushing you away aren’t I?”

She nodded.

“We make love and everything is ok but then you freeze on me. It’s why I haven’t made plans for us to move back in together.” She told him turning and walking back downstairs.

He looked at the nursery again and sighed before turning and following her.

She led him into the lounge and sat on the sofa.

He sat next to her.

“El I’m sorry.” He said finally.

“I don’t need you to be sorry I need you to accept this baby and not think of Gardy each time you think of him or her. This baby is not Gardy this is my baby and you once told me that as far as you were concerned the baby was yours.” She said to him and held his hand. She felt the baby kick again.

He looked at her and then kissed her. The Baby kicked again and he pressed his hand against her belly. For a moment he tried. He really tried but it wasn’t just the thought of who had gotten her pregnant but also the how that repulsed him and it showed on his face. He pulled away at the same time he felt her flinch.

“I am sorry. “ he told her and stood up walking away.

He looked at her one last time before he went out through the front door. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t find the strength to accept the baby. He climbed into his car and pulled away. He drove around for a long time not really knowing where he was heading until he found himself back at the lookout and in a strange case of Déjà vu he found Miles there. He pulled over and climbed out of the car.

“El?” he questioned.

Miles nodded.

“She was worried about you. Seems to care about you despite the fact you are an ass.” Miles told him flatly.

“I can’t accept the baby and I tried I really did. “ Roman said sitting next to him. “She is the love of my life and I keep hurting her.” He confessed.

Miles handed him a bottle.

Roman opened it and took a drink.

“So come on Miles tell me how I get past this.” He told him.

Miles shrugged.

“You love Mike?” he asked.

“Yes.” Roman said.

“Then you’ll love the baby.” Miles said simply.

“How?” Roman asked him taking a long drink. “Because I just feel repulsed by the baby. I just think about how hurt she was and what happened.”

“But you won’t when you holding that baby. Suppose you couldn’t father children” Miles began. “Would you hate the child she had by donor?”

Roman lowered his head as he considered her being pregnant by a donor. The same revulsion ran through him.

“I think I would.” He admitted.

“Are you sure? Think about it?” Miles said. “Suppose I told you the twins aren’t yours? Or that Nic isn’t?”

Roman narrowed his eyes.

“Are you trying to tell me something about the twins?” he asked quickly.

“Yes I am.” Miles said suddenly.

“What?” Roman growled.

“Ella wasn’t ever going to tell you but they ain’t yours.” Miles told him.

“Who?” Roman asked. “No she wouldn’t do that to me.” He added.

Miles took the bottle from him and took a drink.

“We’re sorry Roman. It just happened.” Miles told him. “We didn’t think anything of it at the time but then she got pregnant.”

He waited for the explosion.

He didn’t have to wait long as he was suddenly flat on his back. His jaw aching from the punch.

“Feel better?” Miles asked him.

Roman lent down and helped him up.

“Much thank you.” He said. “And next time you want me to release some tension can you not use yourself as the target.”

Miles rubbed his jaw.

“Don’t worry next time I’ll come up with a better plan.” He said.

“Just to clarify….” Roman began.

“Oh don’t worry we are just friends.” Miles interrupted.

“Thanks.” Roman suddenly looked up.

“What is it?” Miles asked him.

“Before she was taken.” Roman began.

“What?”

“I told you she was different.” He said softly.

Miles looked at him.

“I said she was different in bed.” Roman said slowly.

“And?” Miles asked slowly.

“And I had sex with her twice.” Roman said remembering. “Unprotected sex. I didn’t think.”

“Well usually the blood supply doesn’t go to the brain at a time like that.” Miles told him.

Roman laughed.

“We assumed that Gardy was the father but what if it were me.” He said.

“Then I owe you a punch on the jaw.” Miles told him.

“I think I deserve one I’ve been an ass.” Roman groaned and took a drink.

“Roman take a step back. What are you going to do? Ask her to take a DNA test. And if she does what if you aren’t the father?” Miles took a breath. “Oh you’ll love the baby if you are the daddy but not if it is someone else regardless of the how part of it.”

“I know it makes me a stupid selfish SOB. I am aware of that fact.” Roman took another long drink.

“Well why don’t you pretend that is how she got pregnant and go to her now and be there for her.” Miles suggested.

“Great, so not only am I a selfish SOB I am now also a lying one.” Roman took another drink. He felt his phone vibrating and he pulled it out of his pocket.

He read the text and swore.

“Charlie has been round and the date for the trial has been set.” Roman filled him in.

“And?” Miles asked.

“And it’s going to start in a months time.” Roman said quickly. “We were hoping that it would be later so he wouldn’t find out that we’ve had our baby.”

“Hang on, did you just say our?” Miles picked up on the descriptor.

Roman nodded.

“As in we’ve had OUR baby?” he paraphrased.

Roman looked up quickly.

“Did I?” he asked.

Miles nodded.

Roman smiled.

“I said our?” he asked.

Miles nodded.

Roman grinned and pulled out his phone and dialled.

“El,” he said when the call connected.

“Hey.” She said to him softly.

“I said our.” Roman said to her. “Our baby.” He told her. “And not because we had sex.” He slurred.

“Ok. Roman are you with Miles?” Ella asked him.

Roman nodded then remembered he was on the phone.

“Yes!” he said, “I love you El.”

“Good now hand over your phone to Miles.” Ella instructed.

“She wants to talk to you.” Roman told him handing over the phone.

“Hi Ella.” Miles said.

“Can you translate?” Ella asked quickly.

“Well in a nutshell. You and he had unprotected sex twice the day you were kidnapped and he thought that maybe the baby could be his, but when he found out the trial was in 4 weeks he was upset because he didn’t want Gardy to find out you’ve had a baby. Only he didn’t say you had a baby he said and I quote “We’ve had our baby”. That about it, Roman?” Miles asked him. “He’s nodding.”

“Ok have you been drinking too?” Ella asked him.

Miles laughed.

“No. I think he just had and epiphany or something.” Miles told her.

“What is this about sex?” Ella asked.

“My God woman you are pregnant and you don’t know about sex?” Miles asked her.

Ella laughed.

“No the other bit.” She asked.

“The day you were kidnapped. He came home and apparently you had it twice and unprotected. Does that ring any bells for you and if not then he is really bad at it.” Miles said feeling a slow blush on his face.

Ella laughed.

“He isn’t.” she said quickly. “Oh crap.” She muttered. “Hang on. I welcomed him home.” She said slowly.

Miles groaned.

“Much as I love this conversation I really need you to have it with your husband. Preferably when he is sober. The conversation that is, not sex, although you probably have that with him all the time.” Miles paused. “I’m babbling aren’t I?” he asked.

Ella laughed.

“Yes. Can you bring him home please?” she asked.

“Just for you.” Miles told her.

He hung up the phone.

“Roman.” He called.

Roman looked at him from where he was laying.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Your wife has ordered me to take you home.” Miles told him

“Ordered?” he asked. “She doesn’t order people she merely asks them and we are way too afraid to say no.” Roman told him. “Sshh” he added. “It’s a secret.”

“Are you sure you were in the SAS?” Miles asked him.

“Yes, but I’m not stupid I know danger when I’m married to it.” Roman told him with a giggle before he fell asleep in the back seat.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 44

“Good Morning! “ she called loudly. “How are you feeling?” she asked him.

He groaned and pulled the covers up over his head.

“Come back when you are less happy.” He told her.

She grinned.

“I tell you when I am not breast feeding I am going to drink a bottle of vodka in one go.” She said cheerfully.

He peered at her with one eye.

“Is that coffee for me?” he asked.

“YES!” she said loudly.

“El I love you with all my heart but if you don’t keep quiet I’m going to have to kill you!” he threatened.

She grinned and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I have headache tablets too.” She said softly.

He pushed the covers down and eased up into a sitting position. She handed him the cup and the tablets.

He smiled at her.

“Your glowing.” He told her.

She grinned even more.

“Might have something to do with your rambles yesterday.” She said.

“Ok. What did I say?” he took a long drink of the coffee and looked at her.

She leaned over and kissed him.

“Well let me see. First off you want to move in and if I don’t let you well you are going to set up a tent in my nice garden until I say yes.” She began. “The baby is yours and Miles can keep his hands off. I’m not quite sure how that one came about.” She shrugged.” You hate my cat and you want to renew our vows on the beach, preferably without the cat.”

He peered at her.

“Ok, but why are you still grinning at me?” he asked.

“That might have something to do with you singing last night.” She told him.

He looked up.

“I don’t sing.” He told her.

She nodded.

“We know.” She confirmed.

“We?” he asked carefully.

“Well let me see there was Me, then Aden and Belle, and also Geoff and Nicole, all the kids, and finally Miles.” She told him.

“Uh huh.” he said. “And what did I sing?” he asked.

“You’ve lost that loving feeling.” She told him really grinning.

“Ok. How bad was I?” he asked closing his eyes.

“I haven’t finished yet. That was followed by a stirring rendition of ‘Born to be wild’ and then ‘Valerie’. We managed to shut you up after that.”

He groaned.

“I so didn’t.” he muttered.

“And.” She said.

“And?” he asked.

“You decided that you needed to get a few things off your chest.” She laughed at the look on his face.

He finished the coffee.

“Just tell me. Stop dragging out the torture.” He muttered rubbing his hand over his face.

“But this is fun. It seems that when Miles was bringing you home you woke up and tried to finish the bottle so you were completely drunk when you got here. So he brought you in and I poured a coffee into you to try and find out what you were going on about and instead you went to sleep. So we left you on the sofa and went out the back to have a BBQ. We put the music on and you decided that you were going to sing.” She laughed at him. “Are you having flashbacks yet?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“It seems that thing we never talk about is still on your mind.” She told him.

“Which particular thing.”

“The Aden one.” She giggled.

Roman groaned and tried to bury his head under the covers.

“No!” he said into them.

She laughed and pulled the covers off him.

“You punched him and told him never to look at me again.” She told him. ”Then you picked me up and put me over your knee and spanked me and told me never to look at another man again.” she told him.

He looked at her.

“I do not want to know anymore.” He said quickly.

“Then you stood up and grabbed hold of Aden and kissed him.” She laughed harder. “And told him…” she was laughing too hard to finish the sentence.

“That was the way you liked to be kissed.” Roman groaned.” Ok you’ve had your fun. Please go away now and stop being so happy.”

She pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“I haven’t finished yet.” She told him still smiling.

“El please, if you love me forget everything I said or did last night.” He pleaded.

“So you don’t want to hear the bit where you spoke to the baby and told him or her that you wanted to be the daddy.” She told him.

He caught hold of her.

She kissed him slowly.

“I did?” he asked.

“You said we’ll get a DNA test done so that one day if the baby wants to know they can open it but that you love me and really love me and you love my baby, you’ve been really scared.”

“Please tell me I said this in private?” he groaned.

She looked at him.

“Of course you didn’t.” she said. “You made everyone listen.”

He moaned and dived under the covers.

“Wake me when everyone has Alzheimer’s.” He told her.

She giggled and climbed under the covers with him.

“So you don’t want to move in?” she asked him.

He pulled her towards him.

“Yes.” He told her.

“And you want the baby?” she asked.

“Yes.” He said again.

“And you love me, you really love me?” she teased.

“Yes.” He whispered and kissed her.

“Ok, I was just checking because well Aden has said that you are a really good kisser and he was wondering if you wanted to go on a date sometime.” She said to him slipping out of the bed and running out of the room.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 45

The courtroom was full.

Roman was sitting outside on a hard wooden bench. He was a witness so would not be able to sit in the court until he had given his testimony. He sighed. Sitting beside him was Jacko, Pete and James. George was due to fly in. He looked up and Aden and Belle were approaching them. He stood.

“Where’s El?” he asked.

She had decided that she needed extra time to herself today asking him to let her come by herself.

“She’s coming with Nic and Geoff.” Aden told him.

“That wasn’t the plan.” Roman muttered.

Aden looked at Belle.

“Ok, what do you two know?” He asked them.

“Nothing.” Belle said softly.

Roman started pacing in the corridor.

He looked up and saw El walking towards him. He tried to smile at her but his facial muscles wouldn’t work. She was wearing a severe black suit and patent black high heels. Her hair was scraped back into a neat bun at the back of her head and she was wearing minimal make up. She wore little jewellery save for her wedding and eternity rings, a simple silver watch and a pair of silver studs in her ears.

She still looked beautiful, he thought. The clever designing of the suit by his talented daughter disguised the bump so that she did not look 30 weeks pregnant.

She didn’t look at him or talk to him, mentally preparing herself for the ordeal ahead. She looked up and saw the prosecutor walk into the courtroom and caught a glimpse of all the people sitting in the room.

She took a gasping breath and stepped back. A complete feeling of panic came over her and she felt frightened. She took another deep breath and Nic took hold of her hand. She raised frightened eyes to her daughter.

“It will be ok Step-mama.” Nic said softly.

Turning she avoided looking at Roman and was shocked when she saw who her Dad had with him.

“Mike?” she gasped his name.

“Mum.” Mike walked up to her quickly and hugged her. “I know you didn’t want me here but I couldn’t let you go through this alone. I know I haven’t been there for you but I’m here now Mum.”

She pulled back and took hold of his hands.

”That is probably only because your Granddad picked you up at School in a helicopter.” She grinned, albeit nervously, at him.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I love you Mum and I’m proud of you.” He whispered in her ear then looked at Nicole to make sure she hadn’t heard him.

El grinned.

“Me too.” She told him, covertly.

She pulled him to her and held him for a long moment.

She chose that moment to look up and saw Louise walk towards them. As Louise was also a witness she was unable to talk to her. She saw that Louise had no one to be with her and knowing that her family had not supported the other woman, she looked at Aden and Belle and nodded. They walked over to the other woman and sat with her. She saw Belle take hold of her hand and talk to her.

She looked and saw Roman smiling at her, after watching the by-play. She still couldn’t smile back at him and knew he’d noticed, and she had been unable to sleep with him for the past couple of nights too. Pulling away from his touch. She could tell that he was worried but she couldn’t do anything to help him. She suddenly felt the baby gave her a savage kick and she gasped holding her side for a moment.

“Mum?” Mike questioned.

“I’m ok.” she said. “Just the baby, feeling the stress.” She told him. She didn’t have to look up to know that Roman had started coming toward her. She shook her head and saw that he backed off.

Hearing footsteps behind her she saw Charlie walking toward her. She tried to smile a welcome but the baby kicked again and she felt a sharp pain in her side. Nic rushed over to her and caught hold of her arm. She was helped over to sit down and saw that Jacko had stood up and was holding Roman’s arm and talking to him. She pressed her hand flat on her belly and took a calming breath.

“El.” Charlie said.

She looked up.

“Gardy has just been bought into the court room. He has a QC defending him.” she told her. ”Are you ready?”

El stood up and titled her head back. She took a deep breath.

“I’m ready.” She said clearly.

“Ok. You will be called after the opening addresses.” Charlie told her. “Then we will be calling Louise.”

Ella nodded.

She waited.

She starred at the double doors leading to the courtroom. She knew the route into court, past the two tables holding prosecution and defence and into the witness box. They would ask her to be sworn in. She would promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but. She took another breath and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them Roman was standing in front of her. He opened her hand and tucked the dog tags into it. She felt them press into her hand as she squeezed them tight. He stepped back and away.

She held them as hard as she could, until she could feel tears in her eyes from squeezing her hand tight around them and then she placed them over her head and tucked them inside her blouse. She held her head up and heard her name called.

She stepped forward and through the doors.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 46

“Do you Elizabeth Louisa Laura Harris swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.”

“No.” Ella said clearly.

She looked around the room.

“My full name is Elizabeth Louisa Laura Addison Harris. My professional name is Elizabeth Addison, which is my maiden name and therefore I kept when I married.” She stated.

“My apologies.” She was told.

El nodded.

She was asked again, with her full name used.

“I do.” She said, her voice distinct.

“It is alleged that on...” the prosecutor began naming the date that she was kidnapped and held hostage. “You were abducted from outside the Beach Side diner in summer Bay and transported to…”

“Is that correct?” she was asked.

“Yes.” El said.

“Could you identify the person who abducted you?”

“Yes I can. It was an individual that I was acquainted with when I was on a yearlong assignment in Afghanistan some years ago.”

“That’s not true Ella.” Gardy shouted.

Ella refrained from replying and watched as his brief instructed him to keep quiet.

“Can you tell us further details of the abduction?” The prosecutor asked her.

She took a breath.

“I had an emergency Caesarean Section and had been home for a week, my husband was newly home too. As you can imagine emotions were quite fraught with everything that had been happening and I walked along the beach to get myself together. I should say that for months I had been Cyber stalked and there had been break-ins in my home. It was a break in where a message had been left that caused me to fall and go into labour. I had the Caesarean Section and the twins were delivered. After having proof of the stalking and home intrusion we filed a police report and forensic examination identified the person responsible.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I was lying on the beach and I looked up to find the defendant standing in front of me and even though I screamed and fought he was able to knock me unconscious and put me into the boot of his car.”

Ella took a drink of water from the glass in front of her and swallowed almost convulsively. She pressed her hand against her throat and felt the dog tags against her skin. She smiled as she felt another burst of courage go through her.

“I came too briefly in the car and felt nauseous. The car went over a bump in the road and I fell back into unconsciousness. When I awoke the second time I was on a chair in a warehouse. I had ropes around my chest and legs and my hands were tired behind my back. The ropes hurt.”

“Thank you Elizabeth. Can you tell us what happened after that?” she was asked.

El shook her head to clear it.

“I was present when the defendant made a phone call to my husband. I believe that a recording of the call was passed into evidence.”

“M’lud the witness refers to the recording at Exhibit 3.” The prosecutor declared.

“Is it not true that your husband advised the defendant that he had no desire to maintain the relationship with you.”

Ella nodded.

“Yes. That is true. My husband was using reverse psychology.” Ella said clearly. “As I am familiar with my husband’s past I was able to understand and gain strength form what he said.”

“What do you mean when you say past?” she was asked.

Ella looked up and focused her eyes on her father who was sitting in the upper gallery of the court.

“My husband is in the army, in a select unit I am unable to tell you more.” She said.

The prosecutor coughed and she looked at him.

“Why?” he asked.

She smiled.

“I signed a copy of the official secrets act during my time in Afghanistan.” She said clearly and distinctly. She looked over at Gardy and saw him flinch. She had been determined to ensure that Roman’s record was included in evidence, as she knew this was a trigger point for the man.

“This is still in force so even if I were aware of the full details I would be unable to testify to them today." She said.

“Moving on.” He said. “What happened then?”

“The defendant tried to attack me and I told him that I was unable to have sex with him because I needed to be cleared by the doctor after giving birth. I should state that this was an untruth. I had been cleared previously and had already enjoyed being with my husband.” She said distinctly. “That is why I knew that he was using misinformation to mislead the defendant.”

She saw Gardy stand up and push forward.

“No!” Gardy screamed and had to be restrained by two guards.

The judge banged his gravel

“If the defendant does not control his outbursts I will have him in full body restraints.” The judge intoned.

Ella took a drink of water and casually folded her arms. She didn’t look at Gardy but she knew he was unsettled. She almost smiled.

“What happened then?” The prosecutor asked.

“I was put into a dark room and left there for many hours. The following morning I went to Gardy and had to ask to use the bathroom. After that I told him that as I was still breast-feeding I needed to express my milk or feed the babies. The defendant rigged up a Bomb and placed this around my waist. I was able to go to Hospital and feed the twins. He triggered the bomb so that I had only 45 minutes.” El paused and took a breath. “I need to add that I was transported in the boot of the car and therefore I had no idea where I was but knowing that my foster son is a doctor at the hospital I knew I would get a chance to leave a clue to my whereabouts. I began counting and noting the direction we travelled in. I wrote these on my daughter’s hospital chart.” She paused again taking a drink. “I bumped into my husband and step-daughter at the hospital and motioned for them to remain quiet as the belt had a microphone on it and if they had spoken I have no doubt that the defendant would have triggered it. We went into a side room and I was able to tell them I was ok and that I had left a clue on the chart. I then kissed my husband and went back to the defendant. I did not do this voluntarily I was afraid that the bomb would go off and injure innocent civilians.” She stated clearly.

The prosecutor looked up.

“M’lud I think you’ll find that the chart is at Exhibit 6 and photographs of the Improvised Explosive Device that was used are at Exhibit 5. This includes a full description by the Bomb Disposal Expert who disarmed the weapon.”

“Very well.” The judge spoke.

“Then what happened?” The prosecutor asked her.

She took a breath.

“I convinced him again that I couldn’t have sex and he shut back in the dark room.” El felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “When he opened the room the next morning he had been drinking whisky. He tried to persuade me again to have sex with him but I thought I talked him out of it. He left me alone for a moment before returning back to the room.”

Ella felt the baby give her a sharp kick and she gasped. She tried to cover up by pouring more water into her glass. She glanced at her father in the gallery. He smiled at her and she smiled back before taking a drink.

“Please continue.” The prosecutor instructed.

“He stripped my clothes off keeping me compliant by holding a knife at my throat. He cut my bra off and my underpants.” She began. “He kissed me and told me he loved me and that I should have been his. I told him I was married to Roman and I loved him. This upset the defendant and he cut me here.” She gestured to her stomach she took a deep breath and touched the dogs at her neck.

“I screamed and I could tell that this excited him so after that no matter what he did I refused to scream or cry out. He eventually raped me.”

“M’Lud I propose a short recess.” The prosecutor declared.

“Break for Lunch for an hour.” The judge declared.

“All rise.” The clerk of the court called.

She stepped out of the witness box and the prosecutor came over to her. He removed the white wig and held it in his hands.

“Well done Ella.” He told her.

She nodded and eased out of the room.

Her father met her in the corridor and she went into his arms and began crying.

She didn’t see Roman looking at her. Eventually her Dad led her away and took her to the restaurant.

“Roman.” Jacko said to him.

He looked up at the sound of his name being called and saw Nic and Geoff standing beside him.

“She needs to be apart from you right now because this is hard enough without seeing you suffer too.” Geoff told him, placing a hand on his arm.

Roman nodded slowly and motioned for them to go to lunch. He sat on the bench and waited. His phone vibrated and he clicked it open to read the text.

“From Bump, Mummy and mes love you thank you for the tags xx” he read and grinned.

Within seconds he typed a message back and clicked his phone shut.

Ella sat at a table between her dad and Mike, across from her were Nic and Geoff. She saw her phone vibrate on the table and she clicked it open to read the message.

“To bump, very good typing am going to buy you war and peace for your first book. Tell Mummy I loves her 2 xx xx xx”

She grinned at the abundant of “x’s” and caught Nic smiling at her across form the table.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 47

The QC, Queen’s Council stood and walked to one side of the table in front of him. He placed his hands on his black gown and looked over at her.

She took a deep breath waiting for the cross-examination to begin. Her hands began to shake and she folded them in front of her to still their movement.

“You say that you didn’t scream or make a sound?” he began. “How was my client supposed to realise that his actions were not wanted?”

Ella took another breath.

“By the same logic how was your client supposed to believe that his attentions were welcomed when he received no encouragement?” Ella stated and saw the QC lift an eyebrow and almost grinned. “I had already begged and told him I didn’t want to have sex with him. The fact he had to subdue me with a knife was a big clue that I didn’t want it.”

“Let me ask this. During your time in Afghanistan you met the defendant. Was this before or after you met the man who is currently your husband?”

“I object to your use of the word currently. I have no plans to end my marriage.” Ella said softly.

“But is it not true that you are living apart at the moment?” she was asked.

“Yes, but that is because of a variety of reasons that are quite frankly none of your business.” Ella muttered then took a calming breath. “Yes it is true we have separate houses at the present time but he generally spends his nights at mine.” She grinned.

“Back to the original question.” He said and was about to state it again but she forestalled him.

“I met the defendant before I met my husband. I also met Jacko Thompson and Pete Gillette before I met my husband too. These were men in my brothers unit.” She added in clarification.

The QC looked up at the volunteered information.

“And did you not date him.”

“Please specify who I’m supposed to have dated?” Ella asked him taking a sip of water.

The QC shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Did you date the defendant?” he added.

“No. Nor did I date any of the others.” She said.

“But you did date your husband?” he asked.

“Well yes, eventually. Although at the time he wasn’t my husband.” She told him.

She saw that other man was looking uncomfortable. He walked back around the table and shuffled through his notes.

“This was LT Roman Harris.” He clarified.

“Yes. I was unaware that he was in my brother’s unit. He had been on leave when I was introduced to the men. I met him by chance later and we started to see each other. When it was revealed that he was my brother’s superior officer we stopped seeing each other for a while.” She offered the information, missing out that they had only managed to stop seeing each other for a whole afternoon.

“I put it to you that you were dating the defendant and having a relationship with him until you met the Lieutenant.”

“Put what you like to me. I can’t help the fact that you have been give mis-information.” She declared. “I did not have any prior relationship with the defendant.”

“So at no time during your acquaintance did you kiss him?”

“I am not sure how to answer that question.” Ella said. “Gardy kissed me but I did not encourage him. He was in fact pulled off me by my brother.”

“M’lud, the witnesses brother died in Afghanistan and cannot testify to this event.” The QC began.

“Actually there is someone who can.” Ella told him. “Sgt Jacko Thompson was there at the time and saw my brother hit the defendant after he tried to molest me.” Ella told him smugly. “I believe he is sitting outside if you wish him to testify.” She added. “And this event took place after the defendant knew I was with someone else. Surely if I had been having a relationship with him the fact that I was with someone new would have indicated that I didn’t want him.”

She looked up and saw Gardy had lowered his head and in a second he looked up and glared at her. She forced herself not to flinch back, touching her hand to the tags she was wearing drawing on the strength of them.

The questions continued for the rest of the afternoon until finally the judge called for a break. He recessed the court until the following morning when the cross-examination would begin again.

Ella stepped from the stand and walked out of court. She looked over to everyone and tried to smile but her face felt frozen. Mike walked up to her and hugged her. He was getting too tall for her to rest her chin on his head like she had done in the past she noted and sighed.

“El?” Roman asked.

She looked up and reached out to him and he stepped toward her and held her as she began to cry.

“I love you El,” he whispered, his arms around her and Mike.

She sniffed and pulled herself together.

“Come on lets go home.” She said to them.

They piled into respective cars and Roman and Ella sat in the back of one with Geoff driving and Nic in the passenger seat.

By the time they pulled up in front of the house Ella was in Roman’s arms asleep.

He woke her gently with kisses and helped her out of the car. She went straight upstairs to change and shower. Coming down, she heard Miles and Kirsty arrive with Angel and the twins and she went to them placing kisses on their heads.

She spread out a blanket on the grass out back and placed the twins on there and played with them for a bit. They were at the crawling stage and tried to pull themselves up. She laughed at them and held them. Everyone left her alone letting her have peace.

Aden and Belle arrived after collecting Amy-Belle and Brett form Irene’s, they had also been given a large chocolate cake that Colleen had sent over. Nic and Mike ensured that everyone had drinks before they looked to Roman.

He smiled slowly.

“I think we should get some food.” he said. “It’s a nice evening how about another BBQ?” he asked.

He caught Aden smirking at him.

Most of them nodded assent and Nic and Geoff took Mike to the store to do a shop. Taking a breath Roman went out to Ella.

“Hey.” He called.

She looked up and he could see that she had been crying again.

“Hey.” She said softly.

He knelt on the blanket and cuddled Sophie who crawled over to him.

“We thought we would do a BBQ as everyone is here. Jacko and Pete want to stay if that is ok.” he murmured.

She smiled at him.

“I think it would be good to be around people tonight.” She said quietly.

“Do you want me to stay over?” he asked.

She looked at him quickly.

“You’re asking? Normally you just carry me up the stairs!” she told him.

He grinned.

“I wondered why my back was hurting.”

She picked up Georgie’s teddy bear and threw it at him.

“Are you saying I’m fat?” she asked.

He grinned some more.

“No just as I wouldn’t say your are feeling hormonal right now.”

She glared at him having nothing left to throw that was in easy reach.

He leaned forward and kissed her.

She flinched.

“Don’t!” she said unconsciously.

He pulled back.

“El?” he asked.

She looked at him before picking up Georgie and standing up. He followed with Sophie. She found Jacko in the kitchen and she handed him her son.

“Don’t give him beer or enlist him in the army.” She cautioned. “Take as read that means all alcohol and he is too young for tattoos.” She added when she saw Jacko start to talk to her.

Roman stood there for a moment before he handed Sophie to his father in law.

“Same things go.” He said and followed Ella up the stairs.

He walked in behind her and closed the bedroom door.

“I can feel his kisses on my lips.” She told him.

He sat next to her on the bed avoiding eye contact with the cat curled up in the bottom of the wardrobe.

He held out his hand and she put hers in it. He stroked across her fingers with his thumb.

“Carry on.” He said softly.

“He made me so dirty. I begged him to stop. And it turned him on. So I went quiet. And he cut me.” She told him quietly. “He hurt me.”

Roman lifted her hand and kissed it.

She looked at him and told him everything that happened in the dark room. Roman remained quiet and listened.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 48

Roman walked down the stairs slowly. Ella had cried herself asleep again and asked him to wake her for the BBQ. He found the twins and Angel had been placed in the playpen and the toys had been bought out for Brett and Amy-Belle. He looked at Mike who was supervising the children and smiled at him.

Jacko and Pete walked over to him and handed him a beer. He looked at the bottle for a long moment before drinking.

“She told me what happened.” He said quietly to them.

Jacko nodded.

“What are you planning Hardcore?” he asked him.

“Nothing.” Roman answered. “If I kill him then he won’t pay the price for what he did.”

George walked over to them.

“She coming down?” he asked gently.

Roman nodded.

“She told me.” He said still sounding shocked. “Everything.”

“How did you react with her?” George asked quickly.

“I held her and told her I loved her.” Roman told him quickly. “What did you expect me to do?”

Jacko put his hand on Roman’s arm to pacify him.

“Exactly that.” George said softly.

Roman took a step backwards and felt himself calming down. He eventually went and sat on a chair at the end of the garden. After a while Aden came up to him and sat next to him.

“You being there for me after you found out about my Granddad, well it meant a lot to me. You never judged Roman.” Aden told him.

“Because it was never your fault.” Roman told him. “And I know that it isn’t El’s fault. I just don’t know how to be around her when I know how much pain she’s in. I thought that we were getting through this.”

He took a long swallow of the beer emptying the bottle.

“Sometimes you never get through it.” Aden told him. “I can be next to Belle and it has been the most romantic and satisfying experience and I just want to shower and get clean.”

Roman looked up quickly.

“Are you saying that El…” he started to ask.

“I don’t know Roman. I think you two love each other so much you can come through anything. And you are proving that. You didn’t kill me for one thing. You held her all night after the attack and kept her calm just telling her you loved her.” Aden looked at the other man making eye contact. “I wish someone had been there for me when I was going through it.” he added.

Roman stood and pulled Aden into his arms.

“I love you.” He said to him. “I couldn’t ask for a better son and I hope you know that.”

Aden tried to pull away, the guilt of kissing El still with him.

“You aren’t planning to kiss me again are you?” Aden said to cover up his feelings.

Roman grinned.

“Maybe you’ll get lucky again.” He told him.

Aden laughed.

“Ok, I think I’m screwed up enough, I kissed my mother and my father.” Aden grimaced.

Roman chuckled.

“Don’t forget your sister and then there was also your brother-in-law!” he added.

Aden looked up quickly.

“I thought we had a pact never, and I mean never, to mention Geoff’s stag night again.”

Roman chuckled again.

“Lets get the lights and the BBQ out of the shed and get the cooking started.” He said to him.

They strung up the rope lights that El had bought to put in the garden and hung up the colourful lanterns lighting the candles inside them. The CD player came out and Roman found Nic glaring at him.

“Ok Nic, I promise not to sing.” He said to her.

She grinned at him.

He lit the BBQ and went inside to collect the food.

Jacko and Pete brought out a cooler filled with beer and another cooler filled with soft drinks.

Belle and Nic began chopping vegetables for the salads and vegetable kebabs.

Roman left them to it and went upstairs.

He put on the bedside lamp and shook her awake.

“Hey.” He called softly.

“Hey.” She said sleepily.

He lent down to kiss her and paused.

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I won’t break.” She told him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I just feel a little scared right now. I just want to hold you and take away your pain.” He confessed.

“That’s funny I expected Jacko to wake me up to say you were arrested for murder.” She told him with a half grin.

“Well I was going to but then Jacko gave me a beer.” He confessed. “I just mellowed after that.”

She hugged him close and whispered.

“I know you, my husband, you will never hurt me like that.” She kissed him gently feeling his hands touch her at last.

She gave into his passion and felt him kiss her harder and longer until she wanted to tell everyone to go home and just go to bed with him.

She felt him pull away.

“Well.” He said after a minute. “Do you think they’ll notice if we don’t go downstairs?” he asked.

She grinned at him.

“I think we might be missed.” She said.

He helped her to her feet and pulled her into his arms holding her as close as her belly would let him. He put his hand in-between them and he felt the baby kick against him.

He grinned.

“You know that Bump does that every time you touch it don’t you?” she grinned at him.

“Of course. You know your daddy don’t you?” he said to her bump.

She giggled.

“I can’t believe you started talking to it in the supermarket queue the other day. That was so embarrassing.”

He smiled down at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I can’t believe that Bump can text so soon.” He commented.

She laughed and rested her cheek against his shoulder.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow.” She told him.

“I know love, but it’s nearly done now.” He told her softly. “I will never let him near you again.” He promised.

She wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I know that.” She said.

He led them downstairs the cat following behind.

“Come on Cookie.” She called to her.

Roman looked down at the very pregnant cat who glared at him malevolently.

“We are giving those kittens away aren’t we?” he asked her.

“Well if you’d caught her sooner she wouldn’t be having kittens would she?” El said totally avoiding the answer.

“El.” Roman muttered. “I am not going to have her breeding an army of kittens who hate me.” he warned.

“Then start being nice to her.” El told him walking into the kitchen.

Cookie waddled in between them and he nearly tripped over her. He looked down at the cat who seemed to be grinning at him.

“Cookie.” He said warningly and went outside to check on everything.

“Why is your cat called Cookie?” Belle asked.

“Her name is actually Cooking Fat.” El sighed. “Roman named her.” She added.

“Cooking Fat?” Nic asked in confusion before realisation hit her. “Oh …”

“Don’t say it” El warned. “Not in front of the Bump.” She added with a grin patting her belly.

Nic laughed.

“I have something to tell you actually.” She looked at the two women.

“Wait.” Belle said.

They looked at her.

“You too?” Nic asked.

Belle grinned.

“Just coming up to 12 weeks.” She confirmed. “Aden is completely panicking already.” She grinned at Nic and Ella.

Nic smiled.

“8 weeks.” She said.

“Oh my god. Do you have to copy everything I do?” Ella asked and they all burst out laughing.

She held open her arms and they walked over to her for a group hug.

“I hope you two know you’ll be like this soon don’t you?” she asked noticing how they were struggling to get close next to the bump.

“Are you sure you’re not having twins?” Belle asked cheekily.

“I better bloody not be because I think I’m going for a natural birth.” She told them and they laughed.

She looked at her daughters and smiled.

“I hope you two know how much your support has meant to me over the past few months.” El said emotionally.

“We know Mama.” Nic told her. “Was only fair the amount of times you picked me up and helped me.”

El grinned.

“Shall we go and see the men?” she asked them.

They smiled and went out the back.

She went over to the swing set and sat on it. Mike came and sat next to her and she held his hand. She motioned for Pete and Jacko to come over and join them.

“You know that these men knew your other dad don’t you?” she said to him.

He grinned.

“They already told me all about him. Although I suspect that some bits were edited.” He smiled at her. “For example they didn’t tell me why he had the tattoo of Tweetie Pie.”

She laughed.

“No I am so not telling that story ever.” She told them all.

“What story?” Roman asked, joining them.

“Why Mike had the Tweetie pie tattoo” Jacko said.

Roman took a swig of beer.

“That’s easy it was his forfeit wasn’t it?” he said to El.

She blushed.

“How the hell?” she began to ask.

“I can read lips remember, and when your brother lifted you onto the bar and told you that you would have to dance on it, I read his lips, he said it was less embarrassing than carrying around a Tweetie Pie tattoo.” Roman told them.

She smiled at him.

A slow blush still washing over her.

“So you know why I had to do the forfeit?” she asked.

He grinned even wider.

“Of course. That was an interesting conversation you two had.” He said smugly.

“I hate you Roman Harris. “ she said to him.

He laughed.

“No you don’t. I’m the love of your life and you just want to be with me, is that so hard to accept.” He said reciting something she’d said to her brother.

She glared at him.

“I was 19 and I was drunk.” She defended. ”Turning the tables here you do know that these friends of yours warned me that you got your nickname of Hardcore from the pornography collection that you kept under your bunk don’t you?” she asked.

He glared at Jacko.

“You so did not?” he groaned.

Jacko grinned.

“A young beautiful woman on camp of course we did everything we could to split you up.”

Pete chuckled.

“Eventually we realised she didn’t have any brains and her contact lenses were defective.” He said.

Roman laughed before taking a swig of beer,

“Roman Harris.” She cautioned.

“Oh yeah …er she has perfect eyesight and her brains are wonderful I love her brains most of all.” He said quickly. “And… er guys.. she is hormonal so be careful”

Jacko and Pete laughed.

El shook her head.

“I can tell a few stories about you Roman Harris, you know!” she warned him.

“uh huh.” He grinned. He handed his empty bottle to Jacko and held out his hand to El.

She eased up slowly and he pulled her into his arms and started slow dancing with her. She sighed softly, feeling so totally at peace for the first time in a long while. If only tomorrow didn’t come, she thought, as she moved in time to the music with her husband.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 49

Ella and Louise were sitting together. Both women had given their evidence and were now able to talk. They had their heads down and were talking softly. Roman watched them as they held hands. He wanted to go over and sit with El but Jacko had stopped him. He looked at Ella and had seen the haunted look come into her eyes that she had had previously and he was scared. She still hadn’t told him he could move in and he was nervous about pushing her. Great, he thought, so he was nervous and scared. Uh, better not let on to Jacko otherwise he would never hear the end of it. He half grinned and looked up to see Nic had brought him a coffee.

“Thanks.” He said softly.

Looking around he saw Ella had gone somewhere and he was surprised that he had been immersed so deeply in his own thoughts he hadn’t realised she had gone. He looked up to Nic and she shook her head at him before he could say anything.

“Nic?” he questioned.

She shook her head again.

“Tell me.” He asked her.

“She needed some fresh air.” Nic told him softly.

She looked over at Jacko and Mike.

Roman stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He dialled her number and waited. It immediately went to voicemail and he hung up without leaving a message.

Looking at everyone he took a deep breath and sat back down and drank the coffee while he waited. He didn’t see Nic and Jacko exchange a look.

She sat on an uncomfortable wooden chair in the pale green painted room waiting. A scarred table in front of her. The door opened and Gardy was escorted in and he sat the other side. She faced him.

“You know this is not admissible in court.” The QC told them.

El nodded.

“What do you have to say to me?” El asked him.

“You’re pregnant.” Gardy muttered. “Is it mine?”

Ella laughed.

“No it isn’t.” she stated. “Don’t you think if it were I’d have had it removed.” She told him hatefully.

“I want a DNA test.” He muttered.

She laughed again.

“Why? Do you think you’ll be able to pay child support where you are going?” she asked. “This baby is mine and Roman’s. He is the father.”

Gardy glared at her but didn’t rise to the taunt.

“My baby inside you.” He said looking pleased.

She laughed again and the sound of her laughter was harsh in the small bare room.

“This baby is Roman’s, he made love to me. “ she told him. “He didn’t hold me down with a knife and force himself on me. He didn’t laugh in my face was he heard me beg.”

“I may be in jail but you have a life sentence Ella, my Ella. You will be raising my child. Mine. My genes running through the child. What will you do if it’s a boy?”

She looked down at the floor.

“For the last time and I don’t know how to get past your deluded brain. I am in love with Roman. He pleases me in bed. We made this baby. “ She stood up and went towards the door.

With a sigh she turned around.

“Why did you kill my brother?” she asked.

“Because he knew what I was doing. He knew I was selling arms and he told me that unless I stopped he was going to tell Roman.” Gardy confessed.

She looked at him with all the hatred in her heart.

“You are despicable excuse for a human being and I hope you rot in hell. And if this were your baby then think on this, Roman will raise the child. Will hold the child and bring he or she up to be his. The man you hate.” She paused. “And every night he will be in my bed pleasuring me.”

She pulled open the door and stepped out. The clerk escorted her back to the corridor and she looked for Roman. Within minutes she saw him standing with his back to the others, a look at their faces revealed that they had been grilled until they told him where she was.

He turned as though he had sensed her presence.

“Ella.” He said softly.

She walked over to him.

“It’s over. We can go home now. Will you please move in?” she murmured.

He pulled back from her.

“I can’t. I can’t trust you.” He admitted. “It is over Ella. Our marriage.” He told her.

She paled.

“Why?” She asked.

“Secrets and lies aren’t part of my mission spec.” He said. “You keep too many secrets Ella and you need to start relying on me I’m your husband. What am I saying. I was your husband.” He pulled away suddenly and walked away for her, from them all.

She stood there watching him walk away.

“It wasn’t about you.” She told his departing back. “It was about my brother. I needed to know.”

He turned.

“And now you know?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Was the answer worth the cost?” he asked.

She looked at him for a long moment.

“Yes.” She told him. “Yes, because I have peace. I have peace for the first time in 11 years.”

He flinched before walking back to her. Regardless of the audience he pulled her into his arms and kissed her savagely.

“Goodbye El.” He said softly.

He walked away from her and into the waiting elevator. They watched him go.

The clerk came out into the corridor and announced that the verdict was back. Ella looked at the others.

“I don’t need to hear it.” she said to them.

She walked to the elevator and pressed the button and waited.

Mike and Nic and Geoff stood together. Jacko stood next to Louise and watched. They remained silent.

The elevator opened and she stepped into it away from them.

“What does this mean?” Mike asked.

“Well I’m not sure.” Nic told him. “But I’m still your sister no matter what.”

“Er… Nic aren’t you supposed to be cheering him up?” Geoff asked her.

She glared at him.

Mike and Geoff exchanged a grin.

“Come on we need to go home.” Nic told them. “And just for that I’m driving.” She smiled.

Jacko turned to Louise.

“How about letting me take you home too pretty lady?” he asked.

Nic turned to her.

“Do not believe anything this man tells you Louise!” she warned the other woman. And watched as she laughed.

Ella sat on the sofa an untouched glass of water in front of her. The twins were in a playpen. She was dry-eyed as though still in shock, but she knew that wasn’t the reason. She didn’t believe that this could be it. The end of her marriage. After they had been through so much.

She stood and took the glass into the kitchen and poured the contents down the sink turning to the fridge she opened it and looked for something to eat. She closed it again and began crying. Before she knew it she was sinking to the floor sobbing