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The Lost Letter


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Chapter 16

Liz smoothed her hair back and tucked it behind her ears. She glanced at the note she had prepared in case she got no answer when she knocked at the door today. She had on black jeans that were only slightly faded and a neat pink blouse. She'd knocked on Kirsty's door at half seven this morning to borrow an iron because the blouse needed pressing. It was only when her son caught her using it and laughing in surprise that she acknowledged how nervous she actually was. Still the blouse looked ok.

She climbed out of the car and stood looking at the house for a moment before making her way up the path to the front door. She paused again, and then shaking off last minute nerves she raised her hand and knocked. After a moment she knocked for the second time. Thinking that she would get no reply she pulled out the note ready to put in in the mailbox. It was then the door opened.

"Hello!" a voice said.

"Hi" she replied.

"Are you after Roman or Nicole?" she was asked.

Suddenly it felt as though a rocket exploded in her head. Roman could be married. Probably was married and of course it would be to someone named like Nicole. And here she was ready to disrupt his life. How could she do that to him?

"Erm." she said when her brain refused to think of anything better.

"Geoff who is it?" Roman called out.

"Er I have to go." Liz said and turned quickly on the path.

"Wait." Geoff called out.

She paused and half turned as if to say something. Her eyes met with his blue ones and it felt as though the years disappeared.

"Hello Roman." she said at last.

"Oh my God Ella!" he cried and strode down the path to pull her into his arms.

"Er Roman.!" Geoff called. "I'd just like to point out that you are only wearing a towel."

Roman looked down and laughed.

"I was in the shower when you knocked." he explained to Ella. "But that not important. Come in." he half pulled her inside the house.

"I'll be off then Roman." Geoff called out although he suspected that neither of them heard him. He closed the door after him with a smile on his face.

"Right let me get some coffee started before I go get dressed." Roman said walking into the kitchen before moments later heading upstairs.

He'd led her to a sofa and she sat down. She looked causally around the room and glanced upwards when something caught her eye. The ace of hearts appeared to be sticking to the ceiling. She wondered why but Roman walked down the stairs at that moment and all thought ran out of her head.

He was wearing black combats and a black T Shirt. The breath caught in her throat. For some reason that colour made him look more tanned and his eyes seemed bluer.

After a couple of moments in the kitchen he came back with a tray and the coffee.

"I wrote to you!" she blurted out the first thing that came into her head.

He reached into a pocket and pulled the letter out of his pocket.

"I only got it a while ago. I haven't opened it." he said.

"Oh!" she exclaimed.

They both took a drink of coffee.

She turned and looked at him.

"Ella I can't believe your here!" he said softly.

"I go by Liz now." she interrupted. She straightened up and pressed her frame to the back of the settee.

"Ok." he said. "Liz."

She looked at him again, somehow she had to get the words out.

"I'm here because of Michael." she said.

His head snapped back.

"There is something you need to know." she continued.

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Geoff walked into the Diner. He sat down next to Nicole and then spied Miles sitting in the corner, a large coffee cup in front of him.

"What happened?" Nic asked, looking worried.

"Well Miles and him appeared to have a drink or two last night. Roman was in the midst of clearing up." Geoff told her.

Nicole turned and looked at Miles herself. Her glance was venomous.

Miles looked up and bravely walked over to her.

"I tried to tell him." Miles confessed. "But he said he didn't want to know!"

"I think you may be too late!" added Aden, unashamedly eavesdropping.

"Yeah," said Leah from the other side of the room.

Nicole placed a hand on her forehead and tried not to hyperventilate.

"Does everyone know?" she asked.

"Well only the people in the Diner last night!" Aden said.

"Diner? Last night?" Nicole asked confusedly.

"Yes pet!" Colleen interrupted. "She was in here with the boy."

"Huh?" Nicole asked.

"Ssh!" Leah said to everyone. She walked over to Nicole and placed her arm round her as she explained what happened.

"She's here!" Nicole murmured.

"More than just here Nic, she turned up at Roman's and was there when I left. He looked like he was happy to see her." Geoff added decided now was not the time to explain about Roman racing outside in just a towel.

Nicole looked at them all and wondered what they would say if she fainted.

"Colleen can I get another coffee please!" she said, surprised that her voice was normal.

"Colleen I think we all need a coffee!" Leah said.

"Make mine black!" Miles groaned.

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Roman refilled his cup.

"I can't talk about those days!" he said softly.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to drag up the past but I'm in some trouble and I need you!" she blurted out.

Roman looked up in surprise. He raised one eyebrow in that infamous look he had.

"This is so not going how I planned." she exclaimed.

"And how did you plan it?" he asked.

"Well for one thing you would have read my letter and got in touch with me for a start!" she snapped.

He placed the letter on the table in front of them.

"Obviously that hasn't happened." he said using a really calm voice on her. The one he used on Nicole when she broke her curfew or drove his car.

"Ok. I have a son. His name is Roman and he is eleven." She blurted.

Roman paused in mid drink, his cup remained halfway.

"Perhaps you'd like to add a few more details." he suggested at her flustered look.

A serious of random thoughts flittered across his brain. Son. Called Roman. Aged eleven. Exploding blood pressure. Heart attack. Remember to breathe.

"It’s in the letter." she said.

"I haven't read the flaming letter!" he exploded. "So just flaming well tell me!"

"I was beginning to. But not when you are shouting at me." She shouted.

He raised that eyebrow again.

"Seriously?" he said with a smile.

They looked at each other and both burst out laughing.

She moved over to sit next to him. She took hold of one of his hands. They looked at each other.

"You tried to save Michael’s life." She whispered. "I had to watch as you crawled into that mine field and try to pull my brother's body out."

They looked at each.

"Do you know how many times I've thought about that night and wondered how I could have been quicker or stronger and saved him." Roman whispered back, his voice hoarse.

And in that statement was the truth about why he hadn't wanted to open the letter because he had failed her.

"But you couldn't. I never blamed you." she squeezed his hand. "I never for one minute thought any less of you. Did you think I would?" She looked deep into his eyes.

"You didn't have to Ella, I blamed myself." He felt his eyes welling with unshed tears.

Neither of them noticed his use of Ella, the name he had known her by.

"Roman, you know that you can't save everyone." she whispered.

He looked at her for a long moment without speaking, then said. "I had to save him. How could you be with me if I didn't save your brother?"

She began to cry. The tears falling silent down her face.

"That's not why I left." she said softly, so softly he could barely catch the words.

She looked at him and hastily wiped the tears from her face.

"Michael's wife was pregnant and I had to bring his body home." she explained. "There wasn't time for us to talk."

He squeezed her hand to let her know he was there.

"She became very ill." Once again tears began to fall down her face.

"Go on." he encouraged softly.

"She died just shortly after giving birth to her son."

"You adopted him?" he questioned, surprised at the sharp stab of disappointment he suddenly felt.

"More than that. She named him Roman Michael Addison." She looked at him. "He's always known about his two fathers."

Roman took a deep breath.

"After me?" he asked. "Why?"

"Because she knew you tried to save Michael, his commanding officer wrote and told her." She said.

She looked down and saw that their hands were still clasped.

"He wants to meet you." she said simply.

"Of course." was his immediate response.

"It's not quite that simple though. He's going through a stage and having a bit of .." she trailed off.

"Attitude problem?" Roman asked with a laugh. "I think I could be used to that!" he said thinking of Nicole.

"How about we meet at the Diner in half an hour?" she suggested.

"Yes, no problem."

He let go of her hand and found himself cupping her face. His thumbs wiped away the last of her tears.

They looked at each other and he lowered his head until their lips met.

Suddenly she thought of the previously mentioned Nicole and pulled away sharply.

"Er... half an hour." she confirmed standing up and backing away.

He looked puzzled for a second but stood up and escorted her to the door.

"Ok, see you then." he said.

He leant forward to kiss her again but she turned her head at the last second and the kiss fell to her soft cheek instead. He watched her walk away and climb into her car. She paused for a moment behind the wheel then started it and drove away.

Roman turned and after closing the door he cleared up the coffee things and grabbed his phone and keys before heading out. Halfway down the path he turned and slipped back inside the house to pick up the letter. He still didn't know if he was going to read it, especially as she was here in the flesh but he felt better holding on to it.

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Chapter 17

Liz walked into the Diner with her son. Conversation stopped dead and she immediately felt all eyes on her. Only the squeeze of little Roman's hand in her own stopped her from panicking and running out. Even Miles and Kirsty who had been in the middle of a furious argument went quiet. She walked over to the same table they had sat at the night before and sat down. The room remained quiet. She felt decidedly uneasy.

Eventually the silence was broken by Colleen asked what they wanted to order. She asked for cola for her son, for once forgetting to make sure it was diet as he went a little hyper on the sugar and a large coffee for herself.

"And can I have a shot of Expresso in my coffee please?" she asked shakily.

Over the other side of the room Miles looked up at that and wondered why he never thought to ask the same for his coffee.

"Ok," she began. "Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes mum." he confirmed with a nod of his head. "and its not like it's that much of a secret anymore is it?" he said cheekily looking around the room.

She laughed and resisted the urge to ruffle his hair just like she would have done in the old days.

He looked up at her and laughed.

"Go on!" he urged. "You know you want to!"

She laughed out loud again and reached out and ruffled his hair.

"After all" he continued. "You won't be able to do that much longer I've got this really big pot of hair gel at home!"

Their drinks arrived and they fell silent.

He looked around the room again and this time there was a murmur of voices. He wondered what he would look like, the other Roman. What colour eyes he had and how he would talk. He'd seen a couple of pictures of him that his mum had taken when she was in Afghanistan but they were in black and white and taken from a distance. He knew what his real dad looked like but not knowing this other man was kind of scary. It was one thing to hear stories; not that his mum told him much from those days, apart from stuff about his real dad. It was his Nan, who when she used to tuck him in at night back when he was a kid tell him about the hero he was named after. She often called him his other dad.

He looked up and saw his mum frozen the cup halfway to the lips and the room had fallen silent again. He swivelled round looked in the doorway.

"Is that him?" he asked stupidly.

"Yes." she whispered. She placed the cup down on the tabletop because her hand was suddenly shaking. She watched as he murmured something to the blonde sitting at another table and then walk over to them.

"Hello." he said, crouching down to their level.

"Roman," she said, not quite sure which one she was talking to "meet Roman."

Her son did her proud. He stood up and held out his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Sir." He said.

She was suddenly crying again.

"I am happy to meet you Roman, I knew your dad." Big Roman said standing up and shaking his hand.

"I think you might have to call me Mike." he said. "Otherwise my mum will get confused."

"Well Mike it appears there are a few people here who would like to meet you and your mum too." Roman said. "Nicole!" he called.

Liz's head snapped up in time to see the glamorous blonde walk over to them.

"Ella, this is my daughter Nicole." he introduced. "and Nic, this is Roman Michael Addison my best friends' son." he said loudly and clearly so that Colleen who seemed to be turning purple trying to eavesdrop would be able to hear.

"Hello." Liz said. "And please ignore your father my name is Liz."

"No way!" he said. "You'll always be my Ella!" he laughed at the blush engulfing her face.

Miles walked over to them.

"I'm Miles," he said. "And I'm his best friend."

Roman laughed.

"Well, who else would drink that horrible red stuff with you!" Miles continued.

"You drank my Campari?" Nicole asked.

"So that's what it was!" Roman said.

"Please tell me why he calls you Ella." Miles begged.

"That's an easy one!" Little Roman/Mike said. "Those are her initials. Elizabeth Louisa Laura Addison."

Miles still looked slightly confused or hungover.

"They were printed on her camera strap the day I met her. I've always called her that." Roman said with a chuckle.

"You and the rest of the guys." she said, laughing at him.

"So your Ella. " Nic said.

"Yes everyone this is Ella!" Roman announced to the room, interrupting Nicole before she said something to incriminate him.

One by one they introduced themselves to her, all of Roman's friends. She felt herself smiling and while they were telling her all sorts of stories about him she noticed that Roman and her son, Mike, although she didn't know if she could get used to calling him that, were sitting off in the corner talking. She hadn't seen Mike look so happy in a long time.

"He does that." a new voice added.

She looked up into yet another pair of intense blue eyes.

"He takes care of people." he continued. "Hi I'm Aden." he introduced himself.

"Hello." she said, "Nicole told me you're her foster brother."

Aden smiled.

"Yes, Roman took me in when I had nowhere to go." Aden told her.

"Yes." she smiled.

She looked at all of his friends and wanted to let them know she thought he was special too. She took a deep breath and began.

"Roman was commander of my brother's unit. When my brother was injured in the middle of a mine field Roman crawled in and tried to rescue him." She paused, the emotion getting to her. "It was supposed to be a routine mission, that's why I managed to tag along. Somehow Michael walked into the minefield and there was this awful explosion. The next thing I knew Roman was crawling along. He kept probing the ground in front of him with his knife making sure that there were no more mines to get to Michael."

She took a drink of coffee before continuing.

"He lifted him up and carried him out to where the medic was waiting, but unfortunately it was too late and he was gone. I'll never forget how brave he was. "

She smiled at Roman across the room. He was looking at her and smiled back.

"That's why I've got his name." her son explained. "My mum died when I was born, my other real mum that is and I went to live with Liz my other Mum. Well she's my aunt really. My Dad's sister." he told them.

Liz/Ella laughed, he always did like an appreciative audience she thought fondly.

Miles told them how Roman helped him fit into the Bay when he'd first arrived.

"I was really nervous when I started teaching again."

"Yeah!" piped in Aden. "Scared of me."

"Daddy was a thug in those days!" Aden's son said causing everyone to laugh.

"Son, how many times do I have to tell you to stop listening to those stories your Mum keeps telling you about me!" Aden said walking over to pick his son up up and give him a cuddle. He leaned forward to kiss a laughing Belle.

"Well I walked over to Aden one day and I said to him just how scared I was of Miles. I mean sleeping rough on the streets toughens a guy up!" Roman said winking at Miles.

Miles laughed and continued.

"The next day Aden couldn't do enough for me and to this day Roman still hasn't confessed that he lied!"

Aden looked gob-smacked.

They laughed again.

"I'm never going to trust you again!" he said too Roman with a smile in his voice.

"I think we should continue this back at my house." Miles suggested. "We can get the BBQ going and have ourselves a party. What do you think Ella?"

She smiled.

"Well I see that I'm not going to be able to shake that name thanks to..." she began.

Roman interrupted her.

"I think that is a very good idea and if you reveal anything that may embarrass me I'll have to start telling this crowd about some of things Michael said about his pesky sister!"

"Yes Miles that would be a lovely idea." she said with a smile.

While some of the others were distracted Nicole leaned in close to Ella.

"You'll tell me though, won't you?" she said.

Ella replied with a quickly spoken "Of course, later!"

"Oi!" Roman said to them from the other side of the room.

Miles laughed at the demonstration of Roman's lip reading skills.

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It was late.

The party had dispersed not long ago and she found herself liking all of Roman's friends. They were good people. Roman was standing inside Ollie's bedroom where Mike, would she ever get used to calling him that, was staying for a sleepover with the other boy, and saying goodnight to him. She stood in the doorway and watched the man with her son, knowing that she could trust him no matter what.

Roman turned as if knowing she was there. She laughed, of course he knew she was there she'd never been able to sneak up on him.

"Goodnight!" she called to her son.

"Goodnight" he replied.

She knew with a mothers' instinct that as soon as they were out of the way the two boys would be up and playing!

She walked downstairs behind Roman and on reaching the bottom he held out his hand to her. She took his hand and let him pull her into his arms.

"Its been a long day for you." he said softly, cradling her head against his chest and stroking her hair.

"Yes it has." she confirmed, looking up at him.

"Miles has instructed me to take you down to the beach for a little breather!" Roman said. "Come on."

He led her to his favourite spot amongst the sand dunes and wasn't surprised to see that someone or multiple someone’s had already been there and left a few dozen lit candles around a picnic blanket and cushions.

"Do you think someone is hinting?" he asked, indicating the bottle of champagne and the two glasses.

They sat on the blanket and he deftly undid the bottle pouring them each a drink.

"Do you still have the letter?" she asked.

"Yes of course." he murmured lying back against the pillows.

"I don't think you should read it." she said.

"Ok." he agreed.

"Just like that?" she asked with a laugh.

"Of course."

She shook her head in disbelief and lay next to him. He pulled her into his arms and held her. Her head resting on his shoulder.

"I haven't asked..." he began.

"No there is no-one. I have my work and Ro... I mean Mike. Not a lot of time for anyone else." she said anticipating what he was going to say.

"No. There have been of course but no one, well it's cliched. I thought I was in love a few times but there was always something holding me back." he went on to tell her about Martha and Charlie. And about Martha's pregnancy.

"You'll want to be there for her." Ella said simply.

Roman leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

"Yes. Thank you for understanding."

"So is this it? I just stroll up and we are a couple?" she asked with a smile.

"Of course." he said his eyes twinkling. "I'm just so easy!"

She looked up at him in the moonlight and the flickering candlelight.

He met her gaze and placed his lips on hers for a brief kiss.

"I have Nicole and Aden and, er ... strangely Miles, and we seem to have been waiting for you and Mike." Roman said with a chuckle.

"Then I have little choice because I've been waiting for you as well." she replied. "I hope Miles is housebroken!" she joked.

Roman laughed.

"And maybe..." he said with a devilish smile on his face. "We could make a few more brothers and sisters for Nicole before she makes me a Grandpa!"

Ella laughed.

"As long as you don't want any of them to be named Roman Junior!" she replied. "I've got a feeling I'm going to have my hands full with the Roman's I have now!"

Roman laughed and leaned over to kiss her. She kissed him back.

THE END?????

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