Slade Posted April 20, 2009 Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 I was going to read your other fan fic but I missed so many chapters I decided to look at this one instead. Nicole and Belle friends, that looks interesting. Geoff doesn’t seem as self-righteous as he usually does (but it’s early days). It’s funny you sometimes get people who write stories about characters they despise (judging by your recent comments about a certain pairing *cough* *cough* Adelle) although you did say you used to like her so may be you trying to bring back the “old” Belle or perhaps you didn’t like the way she was written in the show and wanted to do her justice. I liked the fact that everything was done spontaneously i.e. they decided to go on the trip like that. And I had a feeling that something strange was going to happen, i.e. something out of an American movie. At least I hope that’s the direction you’re headed. I like the way the chapter was structured. It was very easy to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstyEkua Posted April 20, 2009 Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 Ohhh i like it I'm interested to head more about Tina, and Belle and Nicole being friends is random but cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Verrrrry Good Can't wait to hear what happens next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Kevin- Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Thank you everyone for all your comments . They mean so much to me This chapters so crap so dont say you've not been warned Chapter 2 "Belle wake up " Nicole whispered Belle sat up and looked around , still half asleep and feeling confused "Whats going on " she replied "I saw someone looking in the window at us " Nicole cried quietly Belle began to get scared as she saw how petrified Nicole was "Did you tell Geoff or Tina " Belle asked "They're gone" she answered her "Gone where" Belle mumbled " I dont know , I just woke up and they were gone . I'm so scared Belle " Nicole wailed Suddenly there was a bang on the front door. Belle and Nicole froze . Then the bang came again. "Please leave us alone " Nicole screamed Suddenly the banging stopped and they heard heavy footsteps walk away from the door. They both looked at each other and Nicole grabbed her phone from the bedside table and dialled geoff's number. "Geoff, where are you " Nicole cried down the phone very fast "Hey Nicole , please just slow down" Geoff calmly told her "There was someone watching us and was banging on the door" she spluttered "OK im on my way back , just stay there" he demanded "Please hurry" she pleaded as she hung up the phone "Its Nicole , there was someone trying to get into the room apparently" he informed Tina "We better hurry back " Tina strongly suggested "Yeah " he agreed A few minutes later , Geoff and Tina were walking through the car park when they saw a masked figure just stood there watching them and when he looked to the left of him there was more masked men walking towards him.Tina screamed at the top of her voice. Belle and Nicole heard the screams from their room and jumped out of their beds and ran to the window where they saw Geoff and Tina running away with masked men standing around the car park.Belle and Nicole gasped for air as they saw Geoff and Tina run into the darkness but also wondered why the people weren't chasing after them. "Oh My God" Belle came to a horrible realisation "There after us " she announced to a clearly shaken Nicole.... Geoff and Tina had been running for 20 minutes when they both stopped for a breath. "Geoff what are we going to do " Tina gasped "We need to call the damn police " he yelled "Don't shout at me " she answered him back "Well if I hadn't come out here with you in the 1st place we would be back in there with Belle and Nicole wouldn't we " he spat "Oh so it's all my fault now because I seem to remember you not pushing me away last night when you were more than happy to climb into my bed" she angrily replied "OK im sorry , I shouldnt have yelled but we need to go back and get Belle and Nicole" he decided Belle and Nicole just stood at the window staring at the figures that stood outside their room and wondered what their next move was going to be . "We need to make a run for it " Belle told Nicole "Are you serious " Nicole was shocked At that moment the men all made their way to their room and within seconds they had the door broke down and Nicole and Belle just threw themselves at them and screeched as loud as they could...... Geoff could hear the screams of Belle and Nicole get louder and louder the closer he got to the motel and it just made him run faster. He was out of his mind with worry when the screams stopped.Finally the sight of the motel car park was in view once more and he slowed down as he entered the car park. The place was so quiet and he didnt know what was after happening as when he reached the room where they had been staying there was nobody there and more importantly there wasn't a masked man in view. "What on earth " Geoff wondered.... Are Nicole and Belle safe ?? Geoff discovers Nicole's secret ? Who is Marc and what does he want ? Tina continues to hide the truth from Nicole...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Great chapter! Tina and Geoff! I can't believe Geoff would do that. Your fic sounds like its going to be something from a horror movie Can't wait for more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Kevin- Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Great chapter! Tina and Geoff! I can't believe Geoff would do that. Your fic sounds like its going to be something from a horror movie Can't wait for more Yeah I thought it might look like something from a horror movie but it's only the opening part of the fic . I plan on moving away from that kinda thing in the next chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessalove Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 this sounds like vacancy lol, i love that movie. very good chapter, hope you continue!!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive User Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Whoa I am liking this fanfiction Update soon please. It's really good! *throws chocolates to Kevin to eat* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Awesome chapter Kevin! Its really interesting me, can't wait to read the next one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Kevin- Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 thank you you guys for commenting. OK guys I realise that the previous chapter was the worst chapter ever. I am now moving away from that kinda thing because obviously its not very popular:D Chapter 3 "Geoff get in " Nicole yelled as the car that contained herself ,Belle and another person stopped beside him Geoff jumped in . "Where's Tina " Bell demanded "She stayed back while I went back for you guys " Geoff explained "and whos this guy" Geoff asked pointing towards the person sat in the driver seat "This is Marc , he saved us " Nicole informed him "Hey mate " Marc introduced himself "Hey thanks for helping us out " Geoff replied Geoff put his arms round Nicole and held her tightly "I thought I'd lost you" she cried "It's OK im here now" he whispered to her "Geoff theres something I have to tell you" she admitted Bell interrupted her with a shout. "There she is " she yelled pointing to Tina who was walking along the side of the road "Tina " Nicole screamed out the window Tina turned round and started to laugh when she saw the car coming towards them with Nicole hanging out the window shouting her name. Tina jumped into the car quickly and the car began to drive again .She looked at Geoff but when each others eyes met each other he looked away. "I can't believe we're all safe" Tina gasped with a big smile on her face "Are we going home now " Belle asked "No we're not" Nicole interrupted her "We are taking a holiday to take your mind off Aden , we are not just going home after 1 night" Nicole insisted "Hey guys do you mind if I tag along " Marc asked "Um yeah sure" Belle answered Tina pulled Belle over aside. "We don't even know him Belle and your inviting him along on our holiday" Tina stated "Yeah well he seems nice and he saved our lives soo" Belle replied "Well if he turns out to be an axe murderer then I am just gona say I told you so " Tina stuck out her tongue at Belle "Look guys we need to stop here for some petrol " Marc pointed at the petrol station to the right of them "Yeah I need a wee as well " Tina announced "Yeah me to " Nicole agreed They pulled into the brightly lit petrol station and as the car stopped the doors opened and Nicole and Tina went to the bathroom clinging to each other. "I better go and wait for them , just to be safe " Geoff said , leaving Belle in the car alone. Belle just sat in her seat and looked around whilst lost in her thoughts. She was still processing the nights events in her head. She was disturbed from her thoughts when someone knocked on her window "Can I get you anything in the shop " Marc asked "No im fine " she assured him "You sure " he rechecked "Yeah course , im OK " she reassured him He then went inside the shop as Belle watched him from the car. he paid for the petrol and came back out. He sat back into the driver seat next to Belle and for a minute there was an awkward silence. "So..." Marc tried to start up a conversation Belle just looked at him and laughed "So whos Aden" Marc probed "Oh he's just an ex" she clamoured "Sorry didn't mean to be nosy" he apologised "Oh its OK " she assured him "Whats taking them so long " Belle wondered out loud as she turned round to check were they coming yet When she turned back around Marc was just staring at her and he began to move closer. Belle surprised herself when she also moved closer to him and moments later their lips touched. She immediately pulled away and went quiet. Marc didn't utter a word and the pair just sat in complete silence. "Finally lets go " Nicole sighed at Tina after waiting for her for almost 5 minutes As they left the bathroom they got a fright when Geoff was standing right at the door. "oops sorry didn't mean to scare you " Geoff laughed Tina smacked Geoff on the arm playfully "Don't do that again" she moaned "Hey Nic can I have a word" Geoff asked "Fine I'll leave you both to it" Tina sighed as she walked away. She stood at the corner and listened to what they were saying. "Geoff like I was saying earlier in the car . Theres something I have to tell you" Nicole confessed "You wana break up dont you " Geoff guessed "What ? " Nicole was puzzled as to why he would think that "Of course not you dil . I'm pregnant" she confessed "Are you serious " Geoff couldn't believe his ears "We're having a baby" he muttered "We're having a baby " he repeated with a shout and he lifted her into his arms and he kissed her. "I love you so much Nicole Franklin" he declared Tina stood at the corner , completely appalled at what she had just heard. "This can't be happening" she thought to herself "He's meant to be with me " she muttered to herself. Her angry face soon turned to a smile when an idea entered her head to get Geoff all to herself. Tina tells an explosive lie.... Belle and Marc grow closer.... Geoff tells Tina that they can't see each other anymore...and shes not happy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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