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Regrets (We All Have Them, Some More Than Others)

Guest suzannelgnz

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Awww...a very good start, suzannelgz, and I am liking how you wrote it from Rachel's point of view, her feelings on what happened to her, and how she felt about different things and events etc.

It is beautifully written like a diary, and I am looking forward to reading more of Rachel's 'diary' and what were her other regrets.

Looking forward to an update :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for the support so far everyone :) I'm not really sure If I like this chapter, It's been sitting on my laptop in progress for way too long! But enjoy it anyway :)

Chapter 2- Age 29

Being a single woman and a divorcee was the last thing I expected to be when I began to inch closer and closer to being 30. My life as an RMO was certainly not going to plan and nor was my love life. Instead of waiting until I was fully over Kim, I found myself falling for an intern. I also had to come to terms with unexpectedly finding myself pregnant and then miscarrying less than 24 hours later. However I know deep down that Lewis and I were not meant to be, as he had a really bad temper sometimes and some of the things he said after finding out that I was pregnant with his baby really hurt me. Tony Holden was also interested in me at the time, but the feeling wasn’t mutual.

It was a long time before I gained full trust in men after I was unexpectedly sent disturbing letters and kidnapped by a person of great standing in the community, Reverend Hall. Luckily at the end of my ordeal, Tony was there for me when I needed a friend and a shoulder to cry on. Soon after he unexpectedly asked me out on a date. At that time, I was starting to get back into dating again so it was a welcome and much appreciated surprise.

Tony was the kind hearted man that I needed in my life. I certainly didn’t want to believe it at first, especially after Colleen of all people said about how similar to Kim Roman was. After 2 dates, and some encouragement from the people who were closest to us, we finally shared our first kiss. That first kiss that Tony and I had seemed so awkward at the time, but looking back... the fact that when we decided to try again, the fact that nothing seemed to be able to stop us certainly said something about the bond we began to share that same night. We were still able to take things slowly, and we were able to make the most of things which was great because it felt so much more intimate. When we said “I Love You” to each other for the first time, we both had such a warm and cosy feeling inside because it was a mutual agreement rather than a spur of the moment saying. The other thing that made that particular moment so special was that we had finally been able to have uninterrupted sex for the first time, and for us things were falling into place exactly as we needed them to. Things between Tony and I continued to stay positive, especially when he surprised me with a marriage proposal which I naturally accepted.

However things were not always going to sail smoothly and we started to have a few bumps to iron out. I was stupid enough to forget about the anniversary of Beth’s death and the way I behaved that day, wasn’t particularly clever. Luckily for Tony and I, it ended a lot better as Matilda gave us her blessing and we finally set a date for our wedding. We continued to have further issues when Tony revealed that he was going to need a vasectomy reversal so that we could start a family of our own. Tony needing to have a vasectomy reversal almost ended up being a major barrier that we had to overcome because he had a few issues when he originally had his vasectomy done. At first he saw it as a way out because of my almost overwhelming desire to have a child. After some decisions by both of us that could be seen as being a bit over the top, we did make a decision to go through with the reversal. Tony was a real gentleman about it, especially when we also had to support Jack and Martha at a particularly testing time for them.

After the issues we had in the lead up to Tony’s operation, I was truly thankful that we had started things off slowly and that we were able to get through the hurdles together as a couple. An experience like that was what we needed, it made us stronger as a couple as we were able to sit down, discuss things, and then take the appropriate action. Decisions were always going to be important for Tony and I, especially when we needed to learn from our mistakes.

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