Inactive User Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Nice start for this fanfiction. Liked it. Update soon-I want to read more soon when you update Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Zoe~ Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 That was a good start to the fanfiction, write more when you can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissOlivia22 Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 I've been busy with coursework for the last few days, but heres a quick update. Its due in tommorrow so after that i can update more often Chapter 4 It was getting dark by the time Aden returned to the beach after wandering around the town for the most part of the day, taking in his surroundings and familiarizing himself with the place he left two years ago. He had changed it t swimming trunks and walked into the sea until the water was splashing at his knees. He kicked his feet on the soft sand underneath the water and sighed as he walked further into the sea until he was at the point in which it was possible for him to swim. He ducked his head underneath the water and ran his hands through his hair. He let his body float to the top of the water, still facing the sea bed trying to see how long he could stay there. He felt himself get to the point where it was unbearable to stay under, when he felt a hand grip his shoulder, tugging at him. He flung his body around; making a load splashing noise at his stood up and rubbed his eyes to remove the water. “I thank God your Ok.” She exclaimed, her hand held to her chest in shock, her eyes wide and mouth open slightly. Her arm flung out a wacked him in the shoulder, anger flashing in her eyes. “You scared me half to death.” She hissed at him, wiping the water that was dripping down her face. “Do I know you?” Aden asked, confused but the sudden concern headed in his direction. She shook her head, her hands dropping into the water and splashing. Her breath was heavy as she took deep breaths to get her composure back. “You didn’t come back up.” She told him and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “It’s called holding your breath.” He said through the chuckles, surprised at his sudden cheeriness to a girl he didn’t know after such a terrible day. She muttered an apology and looked down embarrassed at her overreaction. “I didn’t come all the way out; I was only a few meters away.” She said quietly, trying to explain her overreaction. He looked down her body for the first time, noting she was in a swimming suit also and her hair was wet as if she had been in the water for a while. She pointed back towards the beach and muttered another apology and a good bye and backed up slightly in the direction. She turned after a few steps and began walking away. He was about to call after her but realized he didn’t have her name. He shouted anyway and got her attention. A sudden rush of embarrassment overcame him as she turned to look at him, confused. He stuttered for a moment, before changing his mind about asking for her name. “Thanks.” He settled on saying and she smiled softly at him. “For what?” She asked. “Caring.” Aden stated before his mind realized what was coming out of his mouth. She looked confused for a moment, thinking about the odd underlying meaning of that one word which he seemed to regret saying. She smiled at him again and Aden watched as she retreated out of the water and towards a small pile of clothes up the beach. She put them under her arm, took one last look at him before walking away from the beach. Aden didn’t realize he was staring after her for a moment before deciding he better get out of the water and headed back to where he had left all of his belongings. He dried himself and changed into something more comfortable before resting his back against the rocks of the cliff behind him. He pulled out the IPod he had little charge left in. He remembered his first birthday away from home when his brother got him it, although Aden was sure it was stolen. He had charged it at the last hotel they stayed in, but hadn’t had any chance or anywhere to do it since he arrived. He slipped the headphones In his ears and listened to the music for a while before checking the clock on it and deciding to try and sleep. The IPod was now down to red so he turned it off and closed his eyes, resting his head of the uncomfortable jagged rock behind him. -- The sun rose in the sky and woke Aden from his dreamless slumber, lying on the floor rather can propped up on the cliff like when he fell asleep. He shifted and rubbed his eyes before checking what the time was. The part of the beach which Aden could see was empty as he woke himself up and checked the time. In order make sure there was less chance of him changing his mind and not coming back to the bay, Aden had called the school to enrol before he arrived and today was his first day at the school. They said they should have a uniform for him, so Aden changed into something decent before leaving his bag of clothes hidden and walking down the beach towards where he remembered the school was. His stomach rumbled in hunger but he ignored it as he approached the school. He avoided peoples eye contact and kept his eyes on the floor as he walked, but he heard a few people whisper after recognising him. Then halls were not very full as he was slightly early, but he found the office easy enough without having to stop and ask. The school hadn’t changed much apart from a different pain job on the walls. Mrs Fletcher had seemed quiet cold towards him on the phone, mainly because most of the teachers didn’t like him and that didn’t rule out her. He was surprisingly nervous as he stood outside the door with her name on it, hesitating before knocking. He was called in and as he opened the door, he could feel her eyes look up and down his body. She stood up, plastered a fake smile on her face and held her hand out to him. Aden knew she was too good a person to be rude or mean unless it was needed, but he could tell she was lying when she told him it was nice to have him back. “Here’s your schedule.” She told him handing him a piece of paper. “I don’t have a uniform you just yet, so for today you can just wear what you want.” The conversation was short as she told him a few more important things before telling him class would be starting soon, wishing him a good first day back and ushering him out of the room. -- Aden could see the girl standing in the door way staring at him. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes as she stared at him and completely oblivious to the fact that when another girl joined her, he could hear everything they were saying. He watched them out of the corner of his eyes, one with blonde hair, just past her shoulders and blue eyes. Her dress was way too short and she had quite a bit of make-up. She looked like one of the more popular confident people of the school whilst the other was shyer. She wasn’t staring as intently or joining in with the conversation as much. She had longer brown hair and had a more innocent air of her. “Hey Nicole.” The younger looking girl said as she approached and followed her line of site. “Who’s that?” She asked. “No idea, but look at him Annie. He’s so hot.” Nicole said and Annie chuckled “Kind of mysterious and dark.” She breathed and again the girl chuckled. They continued talking about him as Aden sat in the classroom, waiting for the teacher to arrive. He had met a few of his ‘friends’ from two years ago but he didn’t bother to stay and hang around with and instead just headed to his first class. English. He blocked out the conversation coming from just outside the door until he heard his name. His eyes widened as he recognised the voice and looked up to see a girl rushing over to him. Bree, his girlfriend before he left. She approached and wrapped her arms around his neck and Aden could feel her smiling. His arms were kind of hovering in the air, shocked at the sudden physical contact he had lacked for the last 2 years. They didn’t wrap around her as they looked like they were going to, instead he began to feel uncomfortable when she didn’t let go. At that point, a man with curly brown hair walked in and noted the discomfort in Aden’s face. “Bree. To you seat please.” He instructed and she pulled away in a reluctant manor and pouted slightly. He gave her a stern look before she turned to sit on a desk further and the teacher smiles at him slightly. More people began to enter the room and sit down at seats, shooting glances at him as he continued to stare straight ahead and ignore them. “Ok, so we have a new student.” Miles stated and Aden sighed. Most people in this class new him, and he wasn’t new, he was just back. He didn’t say anything and let the teacher who he didn’t recognise and therefore must be new, continue. “Do you want to introduce you self.” He asked Aden. There was a long pause as Aden and Miles stared at each other before Aden broke the eye contact and just shook his head. Another long silence. "Okay, well then everyone, this is the new student Aden Jefferies. Please make him feel welcome." “Ok. Julius Caesar. Please turn to Act 1 scene three” He told the class and walked around to the board, writing down the names of the main characters. Comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taniya_K Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Ooooh, great update! Was the girl who saved - or tried to save - him Belle? Methinks it was... I loved the rest of it at school. That was just magnificent! The way everyone reacted to his return and his thoughts on everything. Brilliant. Cannot wait for more. xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrongturntaken Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 LOVED IT! Seriously that was awesome! The bit in the sea, i'm hoping that's Belle. I like that he hasn't got a completely confrontational attitude at the moment but he's still defensive, you're writing him amazingly! I LOVE that Sally is still there, and Nicole and Annie talking about him was funny yet sad. I also loved how you brough his old girlfriend into it, you write his reactions so well. Can't wait for more! Update soon! (when your coursework is done, of course!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xknomex Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 I'm really really loving this fic!!! its soo good. I'm with Tanyia, methinks that the girl who 'saved' him was Belle Yay Sally is there Brilliant chapter! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adelle_fan1000 Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 seems interesting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAURZY! Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Oh i hope it was Belle!! Loved the scene in the school, especially Nicole and Annie talking about him lol Loved how you wrote all his reactions to everything! This fic is so good! Cant wait to read more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissOlivia22 Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 I'm hoping to finish my coursework sometime soon and treat myself to a relaxing new chapter write up. Thats if I finish...... You do not want to see the state of my room right now XD Its a tip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Zoe~ Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 That chapter was really good Olivia, I like your fiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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