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There And Back Again

Guest Traceve

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Story Title: There and Back Again

Type of story: long fic/ short fic (undecided)

Main Characters: Martha, Charlie and Jack (flashbacks)

BTTB rating: PG

Genre: General.

Does story include spoilers: Yes

Any warnings: None. Oh, main character death.

Summary: Set a week after the finale, Jack’s dead and Martha’s left to pick up the pieces.


Martha felt numb, completely numb. Let’s face it, if you were in her position, if you were watching you’re husbands casket being loaded into the black hearse, you’d feel numb too.

She hadn’t accepted it fully yet, it felt like a dream, part of her was waiting to be shaken awake. To be awake back when things were perfect, before the divorce, before Sam, Ash, Cam, Michael and her cancer diagnosis. Before the helicopter crash and Zoe bursting into the wedding reception. She wanted things to go back to when they gave their lives to one another, when they said their vows for the first time.

Things were perfect then.

Now things were a mess.

Martha felt a strong arm being slipped around her waist, without looking she knew it was Alf. She lent into him gently and took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling for what felt like the fortieth time since this morning. She kept on telling herself that she had to be strong for Tony and Lucas. It had been heartbreaking watching a grown man break down into sobs during the service.

Martha looked up as the hearse finally began to drive off down the road, she knew they were heading out to the cemetery now for the burial. She let Alf guide her to the car. She climbed into the back seat and wound up the window, she didn’t want to see anyone.

Martha wanted to blame Jack for what happened that night, he should know better than to wander after someone without telling anyone. She knew there was no point going over it in her head, but she continued to do so.

A few minutes later they arrived at the cemetery. Martha looked out the window and could see Leah, Charlie and Matilda climb out of Leah’s car. Martha knew she had to get out of the car, but she couldn’t bear facing everyone again, she didn’t want to be here. Reluctantly with Alf's help she climbed out of backseat. She shut the door softly, almost getting her long black dress caught.

She sat down beside Rachel as the preacher begun to speak. She didn’t want to listen to anything he had to say, he didn’t even know Jack, yet he was speaking as though Jack was his best friend. Martha wanted to lunge up at him and slap him. Instead, she remained seated and stayed quiet, wishing this was over.

Martha felt Rachel gently squeeze her hand, Martha glanced up at her and bit her lip to stop the lump in her throat growing any larger. Martha squeezed her hand back.

Within a few minutes the preacher had finished talking and the residents of the Bay were lining up to say their final farewell to Jack. Martha didn’t want to walk past his coffin, not just yet.

“Martha, it’s time to say goodbye,” Rachel said quietly.

“I don’t want to say goodbye, not now, not ever. He promised me forever, not a short time. He said forever,” Martha bitterly said. She squeezed her eyes tightly and clasped onto Rachel’s hand just a little harder.

“I know, Jack would have given forever to you if he could. You know that he loved you very deeply and if he had a choice he’d still be here.”

“He had the choice not to leave that night, but he did. He left…” Martha trailed off, as she was overwhelmed with tears. She let out a sob. She barely felt Rachel pull her towards her as she clung to Rachel and buried her head in Rachel’s shoulder. She didn’t care if the whole town heard her, she had been holding it in all morning and had to let it all out.

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Great first chapter. I'm not normally a JM fic reader, but this one caught my attention. I liked the little mentions of Lucas and Tony in all of it and the way you show how Martha feels as though she needs to be strong. Can't wait to read more.

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Thank you for the lovely comments, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter :)


Martha rubbed her eyes as she tried to adjust her eyes to the bright light that was now creeping into her room through the open blinds. She watched as Rachel opened the window, letting fresh air into the room.

“What are you doing?” Martha asked.

“Martha… its daylight outside. It can’t be good for you to be cooped up inside all day. You need some Vitamin D, let me take you down to the diner for a coffee. It’ll be my shout.”

“I just lost my husband, I know you’re trying to cheer me up, but I don’t need it. I want to be alone in our bedroom, in these sheets that still have his scent on them and wearing his old stripped top that smells like him. I want to be here. So please can you shut the blinds and leave?”

Rachel nodded slowly and shut the blinds. She didn’t leave, she sat down on the end of Martha’s bed.

”I know you want to be alone right now, but Martha it’s been two weeks since the funeral. You have one more round of chemo coming up next week and…” Martha cut off Rachel.

“Cancel it, I don’t want it,” Martha muttered.

“Cancel the chemo appointment? I don’t think that’s the best thing to do. Jack would want you to continue having your chemo and fighting.”

“It doesn’t matter what Jack wants now, he’s dead.”

“It still matters what Jack would have wanted…” Rachel trailed off not knowing what to say next.

“Are you going to tell me now that even though he’s gone he’ll still always be in my heart?” Martha asked. Rachel looked away. “I’ve already had that talk with Lucas,” Martha sighed.

“I have to go and check on Tony now. Please do reconsider not canceling that chemo appointment,” Rachel got up and left.

Martha tugged the blankets up to her chin and dozed off.

A few hours later Martha reliantly crawled out of bed. She pulled on the nearest jumper, shoved her feet into her ugg boats and left the house. She didn't really know where she was going, but she was taking Rachel’s advice. Martha ended up at the Pier Diner. She could feel everyone looking at her as she ordered a coffee. She thanked Leah and then went and sat down at table furthest from everybody.

"Hey stranger," Roman said quietly as he slid into the seat opposite her.

"Roman," Martha replied," I didn't know you were working today."

"I work every Wednesday."

"I thought today was Tuesday..." Martha trailed off and sipped her coffee.

"I would ask how you are, but that would be a pretty stupid question."

Martha shook her head, "It isn't a stupid question. I'm fine, really. I know everyone thinks I'm not, but I am."

"Going by the circumstances it would be understandable if you weren't fine."

"But I am," Martha cut in. She sipped her coffee and glanced around the Diner," Belle's staring at me."

Roman peered over at Belle," She's probably just wondering what to say to you, or if she should say to you."

Martha finished off her coffee," I don't want people to be too scared to talk to me, it only makes it worse."

Martha stood up and pushed her chair back in," I think I'm going to head home."

"Can I walk you home?" Roman asked.

Martha shook her head," No, I'll be fine. You stay here." Martha briefly contemplated hugging Roman for being so kind to her, but decided not to. Martha gave him a small wave and left.

Charlie had witnessed the awkward ending to Martha and Roman's conversation, she walked over to Roman keen to give her a piece of her mind.

"She only just lost her husband and all you can think about is getting into her pants. That's low Roman, even for you," Charlie said it quiet enough so only he was the one to hear her.

"I'm not thinking about getting into her pants, I'm her friend, I'm offering her someone to talk to."

"She already has heaps of people to talk to, people who aren't in love with her. You're probably glad Jack died. There's no competition now," Charlie glared at him," I thought even you were better than that, but I guess not."

"It's none of your business, if I want to be Martha's friend that's not up to you."

"I'm Martha's friend and I'm looking out for her. The last thing she needs is you taking advantage of her grief," Charlie turned on her heel and left.

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I think what Charlie said was right Martha has her friends if she needs someone to talk too ,Charlie was also right when she said there would be no competition now Jacks dead but I don`t think it will be that easy for Martha to move on after all Jack was the love of her life and her soul mate and Im don`t think she`ll move on even though she knows Jack would want her to.

Update Soon

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Martha shouldn't cancel that chemo appointment. Rachel's right. Jack would want her to go and get better.

It would probably be better for Roman to stay away from Martha for a while. She has relatives and other friends who can take care of her and make sure she is okay. :)

More please.

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