Nothing Left But To Say Goodbye

[valli]

Story title: Nothing Left But To Say Goodbye

Type of story: Oneshot

Genre: Depression/Grief

Main Characters: Remains a secret until the end. Wouldn't want the ruin the fun for you

BTTB Rating: T

Does story include spoilers: Nope, don't think so. This is just something I came up with

Any warnings: It deals with grief, which is a tough emotion. But other than that, no.

Summary: Read to find out

Nothing Left But To Say Goodbye

Tears were swelling up in my eyes. I made no attempt to hide them. It wasn't like anyone could blame me for crying, considering what had just happened. Dark spots appeared under my eyes as the tears washed away the mascara. I assumed it made me look like a ghost from a TV show for kids. Not that it mattered.

My hands were freezing cold and blue. They felt numb and I couldn't move them properly. I made a desperate attempt to hide them underneath my jacket. Not that it helped.

Nothing mattered. Nothing helped. The pain washed over me like the tsunami had washed over Thailand and killed more than 300 000. But for some reason, I felt that my loss hurt so much more than theirs. I knew I wasn't being fair. But no matter how many times I told myself that the pain would go away, I still felt my heart ache and I doubted that it would ever stop.

For so long I'd denied how I felt about him. I'd even slept with another guy just to hide my true feelings. But he saw through me. He saw that I needed him just as much as he needed me. But I had been too stubborn to admit that he was right. And yet, he never gave up. And when he kissed me on the night of our reunion, I felt as though I had finally made it home, to my safe place.

And now he was lying in front of me. His body lay completely still. I could no longer feel a heart beating underneath my hand when I touched his chest. He was gone. His eyes seemed cold and the sparkle that used to be there, was gone. He'd left me, even though he had promised he'd always be by my side.

My lip trembled. I could hardly hold it together any more. I felt a couple of strong arms tighten around me. I turned around and looked into a familiar face. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get myself to remember the name. And I couldn't see his face clearly. I stared helplessly into his eyes, praying that the pain would stop and that I would be able to see clearly again.

“Come on, let's go,”

His lips moved as the words came out. But it was like they didn't mean anything. They were just... words.

I felt a movement behind me. I quickly turned around and saw an unfamiliar face trying to move my hand so he could take the body. I threw myself towards him and pushed him away.

“No! I won't let you take him!” I screamed and started hitting around, not really knowing or caring who or what I hit.

“Calm down. I know that you're in shock, but you've got to let him go. He's dead,” The words hit me like they were stones. I sank down and I let the tears come. And they came. I'd never felt so empty in my entire life. It was like someone had taken my sun and had no intentions on returning it.

The man moved the body up on a trolley and pushed it over to the car that was waiting. I couldn't move. My body felt numb and it felt as if someone had dropped me in a black hole and left me there. But yet, I could feel words on my tongue, words that needed to be said.

“I love you Aden!”

I didn't care if everyone stared at me. It didn't matter any more. Nothing mattered any more. I felt a soft wind against my cheek. And for a second, I didn't know if it was real or just my imagination, I felt him next to me, leaning towards me, gently whispering in my ear:

“I love you too Belle.”

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