Just When...

[Clair 247]

Ooooh, not sure you're going to like this guys! Enjoy (if you can!)

Chapter Eleven

Stood outside his house she was now wondering whether it was such a good idea. Her heart hammered against her chest, her mouth too dry to form any coherent greeting as Roman flung open the front door. He was surprised to see her, apologising for not hearing her knocks. Belle wasn’t surprised; her hands had made it only midway before being brought abruptly down by her sides again. At least his invitation had resulted in her actually entering the house because if it had been solely down to her she feared she would still be very much on the other side of the door. Roman gently ushered her inside, calling loudly to Aden that he had a visitor. After waiting a matter of seconds for a response that never came he simply smiled and showed her to the stairs, explaining that Aden was under a lot of stress right now with his HSE and the court case coming up. A break would be good for him he said, so she should go on up and make herself at home. With that he grabbed the jacket slung over the banister and pulling the door shut behind him, he was gone. Belle supposed his hospitable efficiency was down to the fact Charlie was probably waiting for him somewhere. She rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, took a deep breath, straightened her top to cover her bump as best she could and knocked gently on his bedroom door.

She took the grunt she received in response as an invitation, carefully opening the door she saw him sat on his bed surrounded by books and papers, scrawled notes filling nearly every page. He held a pen in his hand, tapping it nervously against a hard-backed textbook as he turned and noticed her for the first time. He shut the book in his lap with a loud slap and fixed her with accusatory stare. She guessed she deserved it. With an air of confidence that she certainly didn’t feel she stepped into the lion’s den, no invitation necessary.

He disentangled his long legs from the pile of papers and books that littered his duvet, climbing slowly over them and off the bed to stand just in front of her. Looking beyond him she saw the books slip slowly down into the dip he had left behind in the mattress, feeling her own heart slipping slowly down inside her. It was still racing so fast that she wasn’t sure she could stand any longer. Sliding her handbag off her shoulder she placed it gently on the floor. She sidestepped him to perch herself precariously on the edge of his bed, careful not to touch the remaining study paraphernalia still covering every available space. It was then he let rip, a barrage of accusations, questions and insults. What was she doing here? What was she playing at? What did she want from him? As she stuttered and stammered her replies he became more and more worked up, wanting a fight, baiting her, wanting a rise out of her but she couldn’t respond to it. She wasn’t sure she had it in her. Her head ached as her heartbeat pounded in her ears. This was the father of her child, a child she had seen for the first time today. It seemed wrong to go straight from something so beautiful to something as ugly as this. Her seeming indifference was the final straw. After yelling that he couldn’t do this anymore, that this contact just wasn’t working, serving as a cruel, teasing reminder of what he’d lost and nothing more.

‘Go. Just go. Get out. I want you to get out. Leave. Go’

Too shocked to move she stayed firmly rooted to the spot as he flung wide the bedroom door. Gesturing wildly at her to leave he seemed to suddenly change his mind. Pushing his bare feet roughly into the pair of trainers untidily left on the floor he strode out the door, leaving Belle still perched uncomfortably on the bed. Stunned, Belle blinked hard to stop the tears that once again threatened to cloud her vision, what should she do now, wait? Wait for him to calm down enough to talk rationally about this? She couldn’t see that happening tonight at all. As her mind tried in vain to sort through the jumble of thoughts and emotions running through it she became aware of a figure standing in the doorway. Looking up hopefully she found that it was in fact a nosey Nicole, no doubt in search of the latest gossip. Frustrated, distraught and not quite sure of what she was doing Belle upped and left, pushing Nicole aside as she rushed down the stairs and out of the house, sobbing as she did so. Her handbag containing the ultrasound pictures now left alone at the foot of Aden’s bed.

Do you hate me?! Please stick with it! Thankyou again for your comments, such an encouragement!

[Clair 247]

Here we go guys, a third chapter in one day! I am on the case! Enjoy my lovelies, if you can!

Chapter Twelve

Aden kicked at the sand angrily as he strode at speed across the deserted beach. She’d had no right to do that, to come marching into his room like she did. Who did she think she was? She’d lost all her rights to do that, to him the moment she washed her hands of him in that cold interview room. Just friends she’d said, nothing more. Well, he couldn’t do just friends, couldn’t handle this cruel look but don’t touch policy. She was asking too much of him and it wasn’t fair. He could feel the cool night air calming him down now slightly, though his blood still pumped angrily through his veins as he changed direction to pace back up the beach. He was slowly letting go of that anger now regret seeping in and colouring his emotions. What had he been thinking? Yes, she shouldn’t have acted that way but he should have at least let her speak. Twice she’d tried to say something now it seemed and twice he had cut her off. He shivered a little as the breeze brushed his bare arms. He needed to go back, perhaps she would still be there, perhaps she had waited? Although as he trudged despairingly home he thought bitterly that he wouldn’t have stuck around to see him and his heart told him that neither would she.

As he walked slowly up the stairs and turned to walk down the tight hallway to his room, a small sliver of light shone brightly from underneath the door. Perhaps she’d stayed after all. Sprinting the last few steps he leaned into the door, flinging it wide open. But it wasn’t Belle with her back to him, apparently snooping through the discarded handbag but the blonde head of Nicole. The shock of his entry caused her to drop the bag, sending its many contents flying across the room. Frustrated that she wasn’t Belle and even angrier that she had been going through her things, he grabbed Nicole by the arm and forcibly removed her from the room, deaf to her pleas of innocence. Slamming the door in her face he turned and tilted his head back to rest against the solid wood and slid slowly down to the floor, his head ending up in his hands. For a split second he’d believed she was really here, that she’d stayed and he had a second chance, a chance to apologise, a chance to start again.

Lifting his head he sighed as he gazed at the floor littered with the contents of Belle’s handbag. Crawling forward on his hands and knees he began to pick them up. Lip-gloss, eyeliner, old receipts and car parking tickets, a wallet haemorrhaging loose coins, a hairbrush that had seen better days and of course her mobile phone. As he placed them all carefully back inside the bag he didn’t see the one item he had missed, the most important item of all. The black and white pictures of his child now pushed partly under his bed.

You guys are good, very good! You'll just have to wait and see I guess! All I ask is please stick with this you will get your answers soon I promise! Just maybe not as soon as you'd like!

[Clair 247]

Ok, so today I have been Mrs Productive! This is the next chapter, I couldn't leave it there for you all tonight, although I'm not certain this is any better! Enjoy! Oh, and thankyou again for all the fantastic comments, couldn't keep going without you all!

Chapter Thirteen

Belle tossed and turned all night long, knowing that the ultrasound pictures could very well be in Aden’s hands. Questions ran through her mind at a million miles an hour, would he have looked in the bag, checked inside that protective sleeve? Wouldn’t he have been here if he had discovered anything? Watching every hour pass by on the clock next to her bed, she became more and more desperate, her get-out-plans getting increasingly ridiculous. After thinking seriously about going back to his to take the bag and breaking and entering to do so she sat herself up in bed. This was crazy, she would never sleep, it was pointless trying to, what she needed to do was to see him and more importantly, get that bag back.

She sat at the table nearest to and facing the door, ready to pounce on him as soon as he came through. She wasn’t entirely sure how she was going to go about this even after a night of crazed planning. The glass of juice in front of her swirled furiously as she nervously twirled the straw around and around, the ice cubes clinking against the glass as she did so. For the tenth time in at least two minutes she checked her watch, he should be here by now, was he never on time for anything? She flicked the straw down and took a sip, willing the next person who walked through the door to be him. Her eyes ached as she stared at the door, tired after such a long night of worry. Her prayers were answered as Aden breezed through the front door, her handbag clutched uncomfortably in his left hand. In her hurry to get to him first she pushed herself back with such force her juice fell and spilled all over the table top. Embarrassed and frustrated to be hampered by yet another interruption she began to furiously mop up the spilt beverage with various nearby napkins. So caught up in the great drink disaster she didn’t notice him as he quietly came up to the table replenishing her napkin supply without a word. She looked up at him, gazing straight into those bright blue eyes, trying to gauge from his face whether or not he knew yet.

He broke the connection first, looking instead at the bag he held in his hands. He disentangled the straps from his fingers and handed it over slowly. As he did so he began to speak, a stammered apology for his behaviour last night, how he had been wrong to ask her to leave. She nodded politely in agreement not certain what she was agreeing to as she tried to inconspicuously peer into her handbag, searching for the plastic sleeve that held the precious ultrasound picture. Distractedly she added her own apology, apologising for ambushing him, turning up when he was so busy. Her hands now delving into the bag frantically in search of the cool, thin plastic. Aden looked at her confusion, frowning slightly as in her frustration various items began to make their way out onto the table.

Picking up the sodden pile of used napkins in his hands he curtly pointed out that he actually hadn’t taken anything from her bag, nothing should be missing; did she not know him at all? With that he marched away from her into and into the kitchen behind. Too distracted to care about his petty comments she stuffed everything back inside the bag before slinging it over her right shoulder and hurrying out of the diner. Walking with purpose up the steep slope she stopped at the nearest bench along the top, breathing heavily. Placing her handbag beside her she systematically started a new, more thorough search. After completely emptying the whole bag, searching secret extra pockets and all through the lining she had to admit the ultrasound pictures weren’t there. Her heartbeat flickered uncomfortably in her throat as she wiped her hand across her damp forehead. If Aden hadn’t seen them and they weren’t in the handbag where were they? Who had them?

As Aden placed his apron around his waist he pulled the strings sharply behind him in frustration, tying it far too tight. What the hell was that girl’s problem? He had simply brought back the handbag she had left behind after breezing into his room last night, uninvited as well! How dare she go through her bag as if he might have taken something? Who did she think he was? Who did she think she was actually, where did she get off? As if he was some kind of psycho stalker, I mean come on! He shook his head in confusion, where Belle’s head was at these days was a mystery to him. A mystery he wasn’t sure he could be bothered trying to solve anymore.

He'll know soon! Promise! Just please stick with it!

[Clair 247]

Just the one chapter I'm afraid today guys! Hope you enjoy it anyway! I am taking all your comments on board I promise, all I will say is it's close now, very close! Thankyou so much for all your encouragement, you're all sweethearts! Thankyou and enjoy!

Chapter Fourteen

It had been four weeks now, four long weeks and Belle wasn’t sure she could cope with the stress any longer. It couldn’t be good for the baby. Her pregnancy was progressing nicely, her bump getting bigger everyday, causing her to come up with ever-changing clothing choices. She was thankful that she was carrying low, her bump still fairly small and neat, disguised reasonably well with loose sweatshirts and swinging smock tops, for now anyway. If anyone had wondered about her wardrobe choices these days they certainly hadn’t said so, years of slightly questionable outfits were apparently the perfect alibi.

It had been another long, hard day, though not particularly down to the pregnancy. For the first time in months Belle was feeling well, not so sick in the mornings or so exhausted from the extra strain her body was under. It wasn’t even the long days at the diner; they had always been fairly full on. It was the stress of the strained relationship she and Aden shared that made the days seem to last forever. It was simply the fact that she just didn’t know what to say to him. He was apparently perfectly happy to pretend that they had never had those fights, never had any kind of relationship at all. He was cool, totally detached when he spoke to her, as if she was a perfect stranger. His polite smiles never reached his eyes and conversations never lasted longer than a short greeting, comment on the weather or simply asking her how she was. It was unbearable, almost worse than if he never spoke at all. She came in everyday hoping, praying that today would be different, that today he would look at her like he used to, talk to her that little bit longer. She was still presuming that he knew nothing of her pregnancy but with this detached demeanour was throwing her. Perhaps he knew and just didn’t want anything to do with them? The thought of that, well that was even worse.

As the last customers ambled slowly out of the diner Belle shut and locked the door behind them, letting out a long sigh of relief. Pulling a chair out from the nearest table and dragging it noisily across the floor to her she flopped unceremoniously into it. Her back ached and the bright yellow ballet pumps she wore bit uncomfortably into her heels, her skin now angry red and raw. She slipped them off slowly and leant back, closing her eyes as she did so. It was over, finally finished. A hot bath and her bed called to her and with a resigned groan slowly lifted her head, opening her eyes as she did so. He was stood directly in front of her, his face wrinkled in concern. Conscious her bump might be showing she pulled tightly at her loose fitting top, making sure her secret was still suitably covered. He asked her quietly if she was feeling ok, was there anything he could get for her. She smiled at his sweet concern, not certain what had prompted it but grateful for it. The reminder that he still cared, that he still felt something for her made her heart soar, maybe there was hope for them yet, all three of them.

Aden wasn’t sure what had come over him. He had purposely been cool with her for the past month, making a conscious effort to keep her at arms length. She couldn’t play games with him if he didn’t let her right? But there was something about her tonight; something that was pulling him in and he couldn’t keep away. Like a moth to a flame he was being unavoidably drawn to her. He’d watched her usher the last customers out the door before flopping into the nearest available chair. She looked beautiful, tired but beautiful all the same. As she tipped her head back her hair shone under the lights, hanging in loose waves, suspended in mid-air. Without really knowing what he was doing he found himself walking forward, stopping a little in front of her chair, marvelling at the curves of her face, the smoothness, clearness of her skin, it seemed to almost glow. Her shoes lay discarded on the floor and concern coloured his expression, she did look exhausted. As she lifted her head and opened her eyes to see him standing in front of her she pulled herself up sharply, seemingly embarrassed. Not sure how to explain away his stalker-like staring he asked simply if she was all right. To his relief she smiled and nodded her head, though apparently not sure of his sudden change of attitude. It cut him deep that their relationship had come to this, that she should be surprised that he showed concern for her, surprised that he still cared. Of course he cared, he had never stopped caring for her, never stopped loving her but he supposed she didn’t know that. He pulled the chair nearest to him away from its table, straddling it to sit with the back of the chair in front of him. He looped his arms around the chair back nervously not sure where to go with the conversation he had now started. Again shock showed in her face, surprise that he was gracing her with his presence he supposed. Slowly they began their first proper conversation in a month, punctuated by many pauses and apologies, restarts and corrections.

Belle wasn’t quite sure what to make of the man sitting in front of her. He certainly wasn’t the Aden of the past month or so, he was her Aden, the man she knew and loved and listening to him now it took all her self-control not to blurt out her secret. He needed to know and here sat across from her now it seemed the perfect opportunity. Just as she began to run through her head the best way to start telling him that he was about to become a father in just a matter of months, he put his hands behind his back to untie the dirty apron he was still wearing. Knowing that the conversation was coming to a close and not knowing when she would get to talk to him like this again she stood up quickly, intent on telling him the truth. Her head spun as her blood struggled to pump sufficiently to her head, spots danced in front of her eyes as she stuck out her hand to steady herself against the table. Turning around to see her clutching at the table to hold herself up Aden sprinted over to her, his strong arms looping around her, holding her up. Her hands came up; resting eventually on his shoulders, steadying herself she blinked hard as she explained it had only been a head rush. As she started to slowly move away he reached and pulled her in tighter, holding her close.

She was totally lost in his arms, in his smell, lost in him. She felt like she was finally home, that in his arms was exactly where she was meant to be. They stood there together, drinking one another in, savouring the feel of finally being in one another’s arms. Suddenly, without warning Belle felt a light fluttering in her stomach, like a butterfly gently flapping its wings inside her. It was her baby; here in his arms she was feeling their baby move for the first time. Shocked, she pulled sharply away from him, her hands immediately flying to her stomach. Confusion coloured Aden’s face, looking at her questioningly, expecting an answer. After collecting her thoughts enough to say his belt had pinched her stomach he leaned forward, hand outstretched to caringly inspect her wound. Fear flooded her veins, panic coursing through her. Afraid he would for certain discover her secret she turned, picked up her shoes and fled leaving Aden’s outstretched hand simply hanging in mid-air, frustrated he flexed his fingers into a fist.

Flinging open his bedroom door he slumped down onto the bed. Just when he thought he’d been getting somewhere, just when the barriers between he and Belle appeared to be breaking down she had pulled away, yet again and he honestly couldn’t understand why. She had melted into his arms, allowed the embrace, he could feel it with everything he had, she had relaxed, surrendered completely to his touch. But once again something had spooked her, something had made her run. He reached out for the old, discoloured tennis ball lying on his bedside table, flinging it with some force at the wall opposite him. It bounced back and he caught it deftly in his hand. She could have come up with a better excuse too; he hadn’t even been wearing a belt. He threw again, the steady thump of the ball repeatedly hitting the wall calming him down. As he thought again of how good it had been just to hold her close again his concentration waned, his throw bouncing not quite true, resulting in the ball rolling slowly under the bed. Pushing himself up, he slid down to the floor, lying flat on his stomach and stretching out his arm to reach all the way under. Patting the floor systematically in search of the rogue ball his hand came to rest of something plastic. In surprise he dragged it slowly across the floor to him. It was white plastic sleeve, embellished with the logo of Northern Districts Hospital. Mistaking it as something from one of his own hospital stays he stood up to drop it straight into the bin in the corner of the room. With that his mobile phone rang shrilly, its infuriating tune causing him to leave the plastic sleeve on the bed instead as he impatiently answered his phone.

[Clair 247]

Sorry! I'm sorry! Hope this makes up for the cruelty of the last chapter! Enjoy! And thankyou again for all your fantastic comments my lovelies!

Chapter Fifteen

Belle stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror across the room. She was sat with her knees tucked under her chin, hugging them as close to her chest as she could, as her back dug uncomfortably into her wicker headboard. Her eyes were red and puffy, strands of hair sticking uncomfortably to her cheeks still wet with tears. She was so angry with herself, why had she run? It had been the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment to tell him the truth and she’d simply bolted, left him standing there without her, alone again. She brought her hand to rest on her protruding stomach, still feeling the fluttering sensation of her baby moving within her. She should be bouncing off the walls unable to control herself with excitement but the only thing uncontrollable were the steady flow of her tears. She should have been with him, shared the moment with him but instead she was crouching alone on her bed with only her unborn baby for company. Rubbing her hand across her abdomen she silently apologised again to her child, so sorry that its father was still none the wiser, that it was her fault and her fault alone that he wasn’t here, sharing the moment. Wiping her tears and smudging what was left of her make-up she dug her toes under the duvet, wiggling herself further down the bed to lie flat at last. Exhausted by the emotions of the night, unable to stop replaying events over and over again in her mind.

Aden dropped his phone on the bed in disgust, stupid telemarketers. He too flopped down onto the bed, landing on the plastic sleeve that cracked in protest as he did so. Confused he lifted himself partially off the bed, extracted the offending object and turned it over thoughtfully in his hands. Not sure of what it contained or indeed why it had been under his bed, his fingers fumbled with the opening flap, smearing a month’s worth of dust across his hands in the process. Using his thumb he flicked the tab, the plastic envelope now open in his hands. Carefully he pulled out the contents within, four separate sheets of shiny photographic paper that had been placed neatly inside. As he turned over the first one he was confused to find a blurry, black and white shot from an ultrasound scan. What were these doing in his room? He wracked his brains for a culprit; perhaps Martha had dropped them over for Roman that was feasible right? But it didn’t explain why they had been left languishing in the dust under his bed. It was possible he supposed that Nicole might be pregnant but again she had no reason to put them under his bed. Sure, he could understand her wanting to hide them, keep them from her father especially but in his room, where he had found them easily? Nicole was perhaps a little slow but surely not that stupid?

He looked again at the four pictures in his hands, fanning them out for a better view. For the first time he noticed the tiny, white text printed in the top left hand corners. It was a series of numbers and letters he did not understand and then, there it was. Two words he had never expected to see, two words that suddenly made the floor feel like it was no longer solid beneath his feet. Two words that not only explained the last few months away but changed the foreseeable future to come. Two words that caused him to fight for his next breath, fight to get the oxygen to his poor brain currently going at a million miles an hour trying to process the pictures he still held tightly in his hands, the pictures that belonged to a Taylor, Belle.

[Clair 247]

He does indeed know! I told you he would eventually find out! This is just a short one I'm afraid guys, a longer, more detailed one is currently being written! I'm not happy with it yet but as soon as I am I'll put it up for you! Here we go, enjoy!

Chapter Sixteen

Belle pulled her duvet up around her chin and snuggled down into her pillows, letting out a long sigh as she did so. Her eyes ached from crying and all she wanted to do was shut them tight, shut out the world but as soon as she did so all she could see was Aden, how his face had looked as she left him there, alone again. She brought one arm down across her side, her arm now wrapped protectively around her stomach. Her fingers plucked repeatedly at the waistline of her pyjama bottoms wishing they were a little looser. Usually she longed for this time of day, able to wear what ever she wanted, no need to worry if anyone might catch a glimpse of her baby bump, safe in the silence and privacy of her own room. Suddenly the silence was shattered by the arrival of Aden, climbing through her window. Her lamp and alarm clock sent flying as he carelessly swung his legs thorough, leaving them both in the shadows. Flipping over and propping herself up on her elbows she allowed her eyes to adjust to the darkness, she could see him now, standing in front of her wardrobe, breathing heavily, flicking something nervously in his hand. She blinked and glanced again at the object, as it caught the moonlight she recognised it as the casing of the ultrasound pictures she had lost a month ago. The moment was finally here and she truly had no idea where to begin.

He let out a long, slow breath while she held hers. Taking the pictures into his right hand he held them out to her, his hand visibly shaking,

‘These are yours right? They’re yours? They have your name on them Belle, are they yours?’

His voice shook, faltering over the words, though she couldn’t mistake the desperation and urgency in his request. Unable to get her mouth to form the words she wanted, needed to say she nodded her head slightly, stupidly, the sounds coming from her mouth nothing more than incoherent stammering. He threw the collection of pictures with some force across the room, narrowly missing her face. In a vain attempt to protect herself from the inevitable Belle gathered the duvet around her, angering him further it seemed. Leaning over he grasped the bottom corner of her duvet, tugging sharply down, whipping it off the bed and leaving her completely exposed. Getting to her knees she desperately clambered across the bed to him, as he stood motionless, his breathing shaky and uneven as his eyes glued to just one thing, the exposed baby bump there for all to see.

[Clair 247]

Ok guys, so here it is! I hope you like it, not sure I'm completely happy with it but well, what can you do?! Hope you enjoy it anyway and as always thankyou for reading and commenting especially! Here we go, it's a long one!

Chapter Seventeen

Aden stumbled backwards against the wardrobe. No, this couldn't be happening, this couldn't be right. How could she not have told him she was pregnant? Pregnant for goodness sake! It wasn't like she had a cold or something she was having a baby, an actual baby, how had he not noticed? How had he not known? He pursed his lips as he breathed out three times in quick succession, his head spinning. He let himself slide down the wardrobe doors, ending up in a heap at the bottom as he fought the urge to vomit violently. With sudden clarity in his desperate state he looked up at her still kneeling at the edge of the bed,

'Are you sure it's mine? It might not be mine right? They get it wrong sometimes. You were with him too right?'’

She swung her legs to the side of the bed, leaning as she did so to reach out for the scattered scan pictures littering her pillows. Crouching down in front of him she held them out again for him to see, whispering that the baby was his, the baby in these pictures was his, the baby she was carrying, it was his, theirs. She explained that she was actually four months pregnant, she'd been pregnant even before everything with his father, she just hadn't realised it. The baby was undoubtedly his. Angelo? Well, he didn't even feature. He shook uncontrollably, what was he supposed to do now? What was the right thing to do? What do you do when you find out you're going to be a father? He had no idea how to be a father, the male role models in his life had done nothing but cause him harm, what if he wasn't cut out for this?

He had forgotten that she was still immediately in front of him, his eyes wide open but unseeing. He saw the life to come flash in front of his eyes, a screaming newborn baby being placed in his arms as the walls around him closed in, crushing them both. He couldn't be a father, he'd inevitably screw it up just like he did everything else and he couldn't put a child through that. Sensing his turmoil she reached out to touch his arm, her fingers soft as silk, her touch cool to his burning skin and he flinched. For a split second it was all right she was still there, he wasn't alone. Her fingers closed gently around his wrist and suddenly her touch felt like handcuffs, like chains. Anger built up within him again, she'd lied to him, kept this secret for months, four long months he could have used to get his head around this. She had trapped him, chained him. As he opened his mouth to speak the voice that came sounded nothing like his own, already he was changing and it was her fault. She was changing him. Without thinking he blurted everything out that he couldn't deal with this, that he didn't want this, that he was just eighteen with his life ahead of him. Fatherhood wasn't a part of the plan; it had never been part of the plan.

At his words her fingers closed tighter on his wrist, her painted nails digging into him, not quite breaking the skin. She let go quickly and without warning, letting his limp wrist thud to the floor. She hissed angrily that in case he'd forgotten she was in the same boat as him and has been for the past four months, alone. Motherhood hadn't be part of her plan either; she was scared witless at the thought of giving birth and being handed a tiny newborn baby that she had no idea how to look after. She gestured again at her rounded stomach, she was pregnant, she was carrying his baby and there wasn't anything he could do about it now. It had happened, it hadn't been planned, it wasn't ideal but it had happened and right now their child was listening to its parents argue, albeit quietly. Aden hung his head, tears threatening to fill his eyes though he didn't really know why. He bit his lip and whispered the only thing he could think to say, sorry.

Belle was worked up now, how dare he act as if he were the only one affected? They had both got themselves into this mess and they both had to deal with the consequences now. She saw him drop his head to his knees, heard his hushed apology and felt her heart melt. Again she reached out her hand to touch the arm nearest to her, as her fingers ran across his skin to close again around his wrist she expected him to flinch but it never came. He slowly lifted his head, his face now level with her own, revealing the tears glistening on his cheeks. Filled with compassion for him she lifted her hand to wipe them gently away, whispering her own apologies, for keeping it from him, for waiting so long. Her thumb stroked his left cheek rhythmically as the rest of her hand softly held his face. Lost in his eyes, she traced her thumb across his lips, leaving the salty residue of his tears there as she did so. His lips parted and before she knew it she was pressing her own against them. As he responded to her she deepened the kiss, encouraged by the hands coming either side of her own face, his fingers entwined now in her hair. Breathing the words into his mouth, punctuated by her kisses she told him she'd missed him, that she needed him, that they both had needed him.

At her words Aden pulled away sharply, knocking his head against the wardrobe door as he did so. Bringing his hand up to rub furiously at the bump now on the back of his head he told her that she couldn't simply kiss this better. It didn't work like that. She had kept the fact that he was to become a father from him and that wasn't something he could forgive overnight. Up until an hour ago he hadn't even known she was pregnant, she couldn't expect him to take this all in his stride. He didn't even know how the baby was, if everything was ok with the pregnancy, how much longer she had to go. He didn't know anything. She stood up and flicked on the main light. As his eyes struggled to adjust she took him by the hand and pulled him to stand, settling herself on the edge of the bed and patting the vacant spot beside her. She picked the pictures up from the floor and explained that she had had her first scan four weeks ago. She pointed out the baby's head, its arms and legs to him. He was mesmerised, completely in awe of the pictures they held in their hands, the first pictures of their child.

Belle smiled at the scene playing out in front of her, he was here. He was here with her and he was poring over the photographs, drinking in the sight of their child. She tried to explain to him that the pictures were old that the baby was now much bigger, so much so that she'd even felt it move. His head snapped up, interested immediately, wanting to know what it felt like, asking when she had first felt the baby move, if the baby was moving right now. She leant forward and picked her duvet off the floor, started to spread it neatly back on the bed, negotiating around him. Smiling she told him that she'd actually felt their baby move for the first time earlier tonight, when he held her at the diner. It was why she had pulled away so suddenly. His face dropped at the memory, brightening again seconds later as he realised he had been present after all, that it was probably his presence that had brought it on. She let out a light laugh as she settled herself down on the right side of the bed, bringing the pillows behind her head to prop herself up. She was suddenly aware of him staring intently at her middle, his fingers flexing uncomfortably in his lap. She reached across the bed and took hold of one hand. Bringing it back to her side, she placed it gently on her stomach, savouring the feel of his hand in hers, so close to their child. He went to pull it away again but she held it there, looking intently at his face as she did so.

'Stay with me? Stay with me tonight? With us? Please?'’

She waited for a response, afraid that she had perhaps pushed him too far, afraid that he would up and leave disappearing out the window in a hurry, the same way he’d arrived. He pulled away from her and placed the ultrasound pictures carefully on the bedside table. Standing beside the bed he leant down to straighten the duvet, pulling it out from underneath her as he did so. Gently he shook it out to cover the whole bed, her included. As she quickly removed it from her face she saw him slip off his shoes before hitting the light switch. She felt him slide in beside her, pulling her into him. She obliged, rolling slightly onto her side, her breath catching in her throat as his hand came to rest gently across her stomach.

[Clair 247]

Awww, I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter, hope that you don't mind this one either! Thankyou so much for all your encouragements, they really do make such a difference! Here we go, enjoy!

Chapter Eighteen

Aden listened to the steady, even breathing of the woman lying next to him, her dark hair fanning out across the pillows, obscuring his view. As good as it had been to once again wake up next to her warm body, he couldn’t help but remember the events of last night. Sat there together in the dark it all seemed so much easier to get his head around but in the clear light of day all he could see was a mounting list of problems. He let his fingers stretch lazily over her stomach, conscious that just below her skin was his child, their child. A child they had created together and who would be joining them in just a matter of months. He felt his chest constrict with panic, he wasn’t ready, he simply wasn’t ready. What did he know about being a father? His own father certainly hadn’t provided much of an example and his grandfather; well he could have done a master class in how not to parent a child.

Belle stirred next to him, her eyelids flickering before opening to slowly reveal those beautiful dark eyes he seemed to fall into so often. She rolled over to face him, smiling before burying her head into his bare chest, leaving a trail of kisses as she did so. He kissed the top of her tousled head in response, the perfumed scent of her shampoo beautifully intoxicating. She murmured good morning into his chest before pulling away a little, telling him how great it was to have him here, to wake up next to him again, her speech punctuated by her kisses. At her words he tensed, it did feel good to be here, to hold her in his arms again but as she began to look forward to appointments attended together, ante-natal and parenting classes he felt suddenly claustrophobic, the walls of her bedroom seeming to close in on him. Without thinking he pulled his arm out from underneath her, kissed her forehead hurriedly and grabbing his shoes pushed her window up enough for him to climb out, calling over his shoulder as he did so some excuse of an early shift. She called his name questioningly, her voice higher than usual, laced with desperation and confusion. He paused, wanting to relieve her fears, to hold her warm body close again but knowing that he didn’t have it in him. That at the moment he just didn’t have the answers, the words of encouragement she wanted, needed to hear.

He marched purposefully away from the house finding solace in his rhythmical stride, some much-needed normalcy, refreshingly familiar. In just a matter of hours his life had been turned upside down, every plan, every dream no matter how ridiculous suddenly void. Before he knew it he’d arrived at the beach, a place of wonderful familiarity, the steady pounding of the waves on the shore no different than they had been yesterday. He settled on the soft sand removing his shoes as he did so. How had it come to this? They had been so careful, though clearly not careful enough. They weren’t ready for this; they just weren’t ready.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, its reflection glittered on the surface of the water. He became aware of a lone figure running along the shore towards him. Running further along the beach the man stopped, holding his sides, apparently fighting to control his breathing. Lifting his head and recognising Aden at last he trudged slowly up the beach to where Aden nervously dug into the sand with his fingertips, the deeper sand damp and cold to his touch. Roman flopped down beside him, breathing heavily, sweat glistening on his body in the sunlight.

‘So… little early to see you out here… everything all right? Aden?’

Aden nodded in response though he couldn’t say for certain what Roman had just said. His mind wrapped up in Belle and the baby, images of her rounded stomach swam in front of his eyes, interlaced with ultrasound pictures and screaming newborns, his life to come running at a million miles an hour in front of him. How had he ever thought he could do this? He jumped as Roman nudged his arm gently, his eyes showing growing concern as another of his questions went unanswered. Then, because he had no one else to tell, no parent to speak of to go to for advice everything tumbled out. The fact that Belle was pregnant with his baby and had been for the past four months, the fact that he had only discovered this last night and the fact that already he was running scared. How had Roman coped with it? He’d been even younger when Nicole’s mum fell pregnant right?

Roman smiled kindly, his face full of compassion for him. He patted Aden’s arm reassuringly before simply saying that he knew he was scared, that he knew what it felt like to have the rug pulled out from underneath you like that. Seeing your hopes and dreams disappear in front of your eyes as your future now involves nappies and pushchairs, not footy or uni or whatever he had had planned. He explained that when Nat had fallen pregnant, her parents had been horrified, ending contact with Roman, the bad influence of a boyfriend immediately. They had sent Nat away, let her deal with the pregnancy and birth alone, Roman left powerless to help her. He had received an abrupt phone call from her father telling of Nicole’s birth and that had been it. Apart from sending money, birthday cards and Christmas presents and sporadic visits over the later years it had taken him seventeen years to get to know his daughter and he still learnt something new about her everyday. He had been robbed of so many years with Nicole, robbed of so many experiences. He missed her first word, her first steps, he didn’t teach her to swim or how to ride a bike, hide her first lost tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy to collect. He missed school plays and dance recitals, numerous homemade cards and presents, trips to the beach or the zoo, helping to blow out the candles on her birthday cakes. Yes, he’d fathered a child the moment Nat conceived but he hadn’t been a Dad, not until recently. Belle was offering Aden that chance, he had a chance to be a Dad, there for it all, from the very beginning.

Aden opened his mouth to argue that she’d already kept it from him for months, that he’d already missed out on so much. Realising what he was saying he stopped and corrected himself. He might not have been there for that first scan, stood beside Belle when she had that first positive pregnancy test result. He might not have led with his arm protectively across her stomach every night since or together pored over the ultrasound pictures of their child but he had been given a chance to experience it all now and without realising it he’d found his answer. He wanted that, he wanted all that Roman had missed. He knew now that he wanted to be there as his child entered the world, to hold them at just minutes old. He wanted to rock them to sleep in his arms, protect them from harm and love them unconditionally from the word go. He wanted the chance to be there, a chance to be a Daddy.

It didn’t matter that his own hadn’t set a great example, that right now he didn’t have the first idea on how to take care of a child. He knew now what he wanted; he wanted Belle and their baby, to be a family. He had a chance to rewrite history, to create a happy, loving, stable family. It was ok to be afraid of what lay ahead, he realised now that she didn’t expect him not to be. She hadn’t wanted him to be perfect, to be fearless or even to have all the answers. She had just wanted him there, she’d even said as much. Registering the change in him, Roman patted Aden’s outstretched leg reassuringly as he pushed himself up from the ground,

‘Congratulations by the way, I should have said it before. Congratulations mate’

Apologies if the Roman/Nicole back story isn't quite right, I wasn't really sure how much he'd been involved! Got this information from wikipedia so if that's not right, sorry!

[Clair 247]

Awwww, you are all too kind! Your comments are just so lovely and such an encouragement! Glad you liked the talk with Roman, just felt that he needed to talk it over with someone other than Belle and Roman seemed the most likely candidate! Anyway, here we go, enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen

Belle sat on the bed, her fingers drumming impatiently on the duvet cover as she checked the time, again. Where was he? He’d been gone hours now and she was running out of ideas. She had left message after message on his mobile phone, text after text but he hadn’t responded, hadn’t replied to any of them. A list of places he might have run to filled her head but she couldn’t bring herself to leave her room, afraid that if she left too everything that had happened there last night might somehow become null and void, its spell broken. Also what if he came back and she wasn’t here, he might think that she’d changed her mind, that she didn’t want him there, which, as angry as she was with him right now was so incredibly far from the truth. Standing she straightened the covers, nothing more productive to do with her time. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a lone figure, standing patiently at her window, knocking quietly on the glass.

She had to admit, locking the window had been a little harsh but well, everyone else knew how to use a door, it was about time he should. He tapped again on the window, smiling hopefully as she stepped forward. Crouching to his level she gave a forced, faked smile before resolutely shaking her head. No, how dare he come back as if nothing had happened? As if he hadn’t just upped and left this morning, seeming to take her hopes and dreams of the future with him. She pulled the curtains shut in frustration, not wanting to see his face, knowing that she’d crumble if she looked at it long enough. The curtain pole creaked in protest at her manhandling but she still didn’t let go, the dark fabric of the curtains still clenched in her hands. He’d left them, he had promised the world and then in the next breath whipped it away. She understood that he was scared, she did. But he could have stayed, he should have stayed. She stared mindlessly at the curtains in front of her, suddenly aware of a gentle hand snaking around her hips, coming to rest on her stomach. She placed her own carefully over his before tightening her grip, pulling his hand away and letting it drop.

Standing on the opposite side of the bed now she let out a long, slow breath before unleashing the full force of her anger. Yelling a number of questions at him, not waiting for any kind of answer. Where had he been? Why had he left? How could she and the baby ever rely on him for anything if he turned tail and ran at the mere mention of an antenatal appointment? She ranted and raved, her frustration increasing as he stood patiently with his back to her wardrobe apparently waiting for her to finish. Incensed she leant forward, picking up the corner of the pillow nearest to her, flinging it with deadly accuracy at his head.

‘I’m sorry! All right? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry. I’m sorry ok?’

She let out a shaky breath, feeling the anger subside a little. He was sorry, that was something. She watched as he picked the pillow up off the floor waving it pathetically in a mock peacekeeping gesture. He placed it carefully on the bed, before raising his gaze to meet hers. After apologising again he told her the words she had so wanted to hear, that she’d needed to hear. He wanted her; he needed her, both of them. Her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill down onto her hot cheeks. She knelt on the bed, attempting to crawl across to him before he held a hand up to stop her. Going to the window he pulled back the curtains before lifting the catch to lean outside. He pulled his arm back through, a small gift bag now dangling from his fingertips. Using his free hand he deftly opened the bag to pull out something small and white. He dropped the bag to the floor, using both hands now to hold up the object, a tiny sleepsuit emblazoned with the words ‘my daddy loves me’ in bright red writing. A lump now forming in her throat she continued to crawl with urgency across the bed, taking the gift into her right hand as her left settled behind his neck, bringing him to her in a passionate kiss.

[Clair 247]

Sorry about the lack of updates guys! Been a bit of a crazy weekend! Not totally happy with this chapter it has to said but I hope you all enjoy it anyway! As always thankyou so much for your beautiful comments, they are such an encouragement! Thankyou!

Chapter Twenty

Belle smiled to herself as she remembered the last few weeks that had passed in a happy blur. Her pregnancy was now common knowledge and while not everyone was as thrilled as they could have been, on the whole the reaction had been good, genuinely happy that things were working out well for her and Aden at last. Speaking of Aden, he had barely left her side since finding out about the pregnancy nearly two months ago, seeming to just want to be there, just be with her. They spent many hours together in her room, shut away from the rest of the world, just the three of them. At twenty four weeks her neat, little bump had grown considerably making her feel huge, although in reality she was still a little on the small side. Already the baby was playing havoc with her sleep patterns if nothing else, making lying on her front an impossibility and her back much less comfortable than it used to be. It wasn’t just the lack of possible sleeping positions that made her nights more difficult but the unfortunate habit their precious child had already gotten into by sleeping through the days and kicking its mother mercilessly through the night instead.

Belle turned over carefully in bed, raising herself just enough to see the illuminated alarm clock beyond the sleeping body of Aden to her right. 4:19am, there was a time when she hadn’t known this hour had existed it seemed, nowadays she saw it regularly, the red LED display of the alarm clock mocking her nightly. She flopped back onto the pillows again, letting out a long sigh as she did so, the baby apparently still very much in the middle of an energetic acrobatic routine within her. Belle ran a hand over her swollen stomach, as tired as she was she couldn’t help but marvel at the feeling of her child moving just under her skin. It truly was incredible. She smiled to herself, remembering that tomorrow once again she would be able to see their baby. This time Aden would join her, a fact that he had not let her forget. He was unbelievably excited, especially after having missed the first one. She gently turned over to face him; he looked so peaceful, so beautiful. How had she ever got this lucky? He had been her rock throughout the past two months. It hadn’t been all plain sailing sure, but when it came down to it he was here and he loved both her and their baby. He was calm when she needed him to be, gentle and kind, with a fierce protective streak that meant she never feared for her or the baby when he was around. She knew that even though he was still scared to be a father all he wanted to do was to be the best one he could be and that meant, well, that meant everything.

Sat there on those uncomfortable plastic chairs in a drearily decorated hospital corridor Aden wasn’t sure he had ever felt more nervous or excited in all his life. He was finally, for the first time going to see his child, living and moving on a screen straight in front of him. Sure, he had spent hours poring over the shots taken from Belle’s first ultrasound but this was different, this time he would be there, next to her as they saw their child firsthand. Belle took his hand in hers as the sonographer called her name across the corridor. He followed on behind her into the darkened room, perching nervously on yet another uncomfortable chair. Once Belle was settled on the bed in front of him, she glanced across, smiling as she registered his fear. She stuck out her hand again, her fingers wiggling to entice him to take hold. He took it gratefully, his hand feeling uncomfortably cool and clammy in her warm embrace. Then suddenly it seemed like the rest of the world grew very quiet, when the most beautiful sight he had ever seen filled the small screen in front of them.

It was incredible, awesome, unbelievably amazing and yet the words didn’t seem enough. Miraculous, that was probably a little closer to the way he currently felt. How had he ever got this lucky? Staring at that perfect profile on the screen it was all he could do to slowly shake his head from side to side in disbelief. How had a screw-up like him ended up here? Then as if in answer to his silent questioning Belle ran her thumb gently across the back of his hand. She was the reason he was sat there today, she was the reason he had come so far, the reason he was right now looking at the child they had created together. A child that he could already see looked so much like its mother, the profile on the screen so very similar to the profile of the woman in front of him. She turned and smiled at him, her joy so very palpable, so intensely real that it took all his self-control not to kiss those smiling lips there and then. She was the reason for all of it but most importantly she was the reason for him. He needed nothing else; as long as he had her he would have his reason, a reason to love and perhaps most importantly a reason to live.

He was brought back to earth by the lilting voice of the sonographer explaining what they were seeing in front of them. She was pleased with what she saw, their baby looked healthy and active, a good size and progressing nicely. She added that she agreed that Belle was in all probability in her twenty fourth week, adding that this was an extra special week as if their child were to be born now they would, with the miracles of modern science and indeed a little faith, could survive. He let his mouth fall a little open at that point; their child could technically be born now? Understanding immediately Belle comfortingly ran her free hand up his arm, reiterating that she wasn’t planning on giving birth quite that soon, she would wait until the proper time she promised! She winked cheekily at him before bringing the hand she still held in her own to her lips and pressed a gently reassuring kiss there.