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To Say Goodbye (by Skykat) - comments

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Kat, your writing is seriously getting better and better. I've been editing the chapters of SBH that you wrote a year ago and I can see the difference. Fantastically written tho that fic was, I'd desribe it as being written by a very good writer whereas nowadays you're writing like a professional. :D As I just posted in Adia's fic, don't have time for reviews tonight but will review properly tomorrow or Tues. :)

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Aww Kat, this is just... wow!! How can I put into words how beautiful that chapter was.

The description was just... amazing. I had a crystal clear picture in my mind of Sally's world, Sally's feelings and especially, of Sally's fear. My favourite part was:

It was a warm night, not quite the height of summer, but Sally felt suffocated by the heat.

Because it just, captured the moment like nothing else. And because I know what being suffocated by Australian heat can feel like.

The awkwardness of her meeting with Leah was heartbreaking, with the few names dropped without wanting to remind Sally of how many people she left behind. And then with Martha, I could feel Sally's tentative reaction. Her worry and fear.

I don't know how else to say that this is a spectacular, beautiful piece of writing, and this story as a whole is so amazingly written... I never want you to stop writing again!!

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“Anna, I can’t do this!”

A shower had washed away the grime from the long flight and she had emerged feeling refreshed. A stunning, classic, little black dress and a coat of expertly applied make up had provided a mask she could hide behind but here, at the entrance to the Caravan Park, the past had all of a sudden returned with a sledgehammer blow and Sally felt the breath leave her body.

Eyes shut, the memories washed over her in waves. The very first time she had driven past the ‘Welcome to Summer Bay’ sign she had been just a little girl with an imaginary friend who was still struggling to adjust to life with her new family. It really felt like nothing had changed. If she shut her eyes she could still smell the salt of the sea in the air, could imagine the unsightly view that had been Floss and Neville’s gaudy caravan and when she opened her eyes the sign for the entrance to the Caravan Park would still be chipped and faded.

It was a warm night, not quite the height of summer, but Sally felt suffocated by the heat. The stars glittered against a bare, black canvas almost as if they had been painted there, too perfect to be real. Everything was so still. Crickets buzzed in the neat, well cared for grass, unseen but definitely not unheard and in the background the gentle swell of the waves could be heard crashing against the sand. Sally felt an overwhelming urge to run, to run to that beach, to the sea, to immerse herself in the water, wash away the memories.

I took out a couple of short sentences (well, two exactly :P ) that didn’t really belong but other than that this is just so captivatingly written. Don’t know if you’ve read any of their books but it reminds me of a mixture of Maeve Binchy and Patricia Scanlan. I particularly loved that line “It was a warm night, not quite the height of summer, but Sally felt suffocated by the heat.”

“There you are! What are you doing out here?” Cassie’s voice broke into Sally’s thoughts, dragging her abruptly back to the present and enveloping her in a warm hug. Sally clung to her foster daughter, her bottom lip quivering precariously as her hand gentled Cassie’s hair, just as she had always done when Cassie was younger.

I kind of thought for a minute that Cassie’s words must have been “enveloping her in a warm hug” but that’s a nice emotional scene between Sally and Cassie just the same.

...Sally became aware of somebody else watching her, another familiar face, another tiny, slight figure, almost untouched by age. Her hair though was streaked with grey and her eyes showed signs of aging but as those familiar brown eyes met Sally’s she felt ashamed of herself for staying away so long. Leah’s eyes were forgiving, understanding seemed to pour from their depths and Sally felt her lip go again.

...you’ll know Colleen passed away? And that Irene moved to the City when Barry was released from prison?”

Great descriptions. I don’t think I ever came across any other fanfic yet that actually took into consideration that characters age and time moves on.

Time and distance had given her new perspective but only being back here had really made her see things as they should be. For too long she had been running but not anymore, it was time to face things.

Martha had always found it extremely hard to forgive. The thought of facing her after all these years, it needed to be done but that didn’t mean Sally had to look forward to it.

The first hurdle had been a walkover but something told her that the hurdles she still had to face, wouldn’t be quite as easy to overcome.

You’ve got me sooo intrigued by all this, Kat! Looking forward to the next update. :)

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:) The last line The first hurdle had been a walkover but something told her that the hurdles she still had to face, wouldn’t be quite as easy to overcome.

That kinds of outlines the entire chapter for me.

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Ha, that description of Sally with Cassie’s Uni friends was awesome, especially the friendship between Sally and Leah.

“In the navy! We will sail the seven seas…” Leah suddenly burst into song, causing everybody, including Leah to burst into hysterical giggles. Sally nudged her friend and Leah fell to one side, giggling and still singing.

Loved that they each gave as good as they got in that affectionate, teasing way that we all have with close mates, it made their friendship all the more real.

Stepping inside this house had been like stepping back twenty years and the same old magic had enveloped her in warmth.

That’s lovely.

She shut her eyes and Jack’s face swam into the sea of darkness and she felt herself falling.

We’ve all been there after a few drinks! :P

“Morning.” Cassie was far too chirpy, far too awake and Sally groaned and pulled the covers back over her head. Her head hurt, as if somebody was banging about inside her skull and when she moved it was like her head and body disconnected and spun on entirely different axis.

And there! :lol:

There was a huge part of their lives though that Anna was not a part of, people they had loved that she had never met and would never know and that thought made her feel strangely isolated.

Loved that line. Brought a lump to my throat.

This was the room she had slept in as a child, a haunted, lost little girl who had clung to an imaginary friend and had found the first real family she had known in this house, in this bedroom. The covers had changed but all else remained the same.

The walls still had the same faded wallpaper and the chips in the paintwork were still in the same places she remembered, even the cracks on the ceiling were familiar. Sally hugged herself wishing desperately she were a child again with Milko and her own little world to retreat into. Anything but not face the reality she was living in.

That’s really sweet. :)

Great chapters, Kat. Look forward to reading the rest. :D

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Wow I've just read the story so far and you are an amazing writer! Everything is given in so much detail I can really picture what's going on.

Hope you update soon! Can't wait to see what happens!

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Just one review... guess that's my fault for leaving it so long

Nobody reviews a good book chapter by chapter, they review the whole of it for the benefit of other readers and my review of the whole of it so far, for the benefit of other readers, is “Highly recommended.” :P

now home to Ric’s best man Lucas Holden and his boyfriend Geoff Campbell.

Lucas and Geoff are gay? :blink: Guess I don’t need to ask who’s responsible for that pairing then! :P

The smell of the Ocean was strong in the air and the fresh, freedom of being outdoors was like an elixir to her senses.

I loved that. I’m jealous I’m not writing as well as that.

Sally inhaled it deeply as her feet instinctively followed a path she had known so well and had walked many a time, both in real life and in her dreams. It was a beautiful path, through vast greenness, across ground littered with sand and drenched golden by a burning hot sun. She and Flynn had always walked down this way, in good times and in bad.

The decision to buy the Caravan Park had been made on this path, the decision to have a baby together and their recommitment ceremony in the run up to his death. Even their wedding had occurred not far from the end of this path and now under a solitary tree, shaded but with a clear view of the beach, this was where Flynn’s body lay.

That was brilliant too, easy to picture. I was there with Sally.

A figure knelt at the ground beside the grave. So much had changed, he had no hair now to speak of and he looked old, weary, worn and bent as if too many trials had put him past caring about life. Guilt burned through every fibre of her body and she knew it was all her fault, she had done this to him. His fingers etched their way across the familiar names imprinted in stone.

I was dying to know if the figure was Alf and I was right - but you know what I would have done? I would have deleted the “Hello, Mr Stewart” and ended with “...it took all her breath to speak” just to keep the readers guessing till next time. :P Awesome image of him at the grave just the same!

Great chapter, Kat. :D

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I did consider that ILM but I changed my mind at last minute. I felt like I'd dragged it out long enough and there was still so much more to be revealed. The story kind of turns a chapter from here on in and shifts focus so it seemed right to finish by revealing who it was. Only time will tell though.

Thanks for the reviews. :)

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I did consider that ILM but I changed my mind at last minute. I felt like I'd dragged it out long enough and there was still so much more to be revealed. The story kind of turns a chapter from here on in and shifts focus so it seemed right to finish by revealing who it was. Only time will tell though.

Thanks for the reviews. :)

Sounds intriguing. :)

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