Jump to content

Small World (by Red Ranger 1) - comments


Skykat
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hey great start. I love Sally fics and this is an idea nobody seems to have taken on yet. Some great imagery in this and some stuff I can really buy into. The hotels and the relationships between them. You know the characters and it shows, Sally is really in character and well written. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

Edited by Cerise
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 31
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

It's good and very well written :) but it needs a little more emotion in the beginning. Just before Sally throws the rose out on the water she might have been thinking something like "Who were you, Amber? Oh, I know you were my niece, I know what you looked like from the photos, I know your likes and dislikes, Miles has told me...but I never knew you. Did you ever look up at the sky the way Pippa does and wonder at the world? Did you ever try to catch raindrops on your tongue or draw faces in a steamed up window and then wipe them away before anyone saw like I used to? I wish I'd known you."

But, hey. it's a great start. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • QUIET ACHIEVER changed the title to Small World (by Red Ranger 1) - comments

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.