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Small World (by Red Ranger 1) - comments


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Hey great start. I love Sally fics and this is an idea nobody seems to have taken on yet. Some great imagery in this and some stuff I can really buy into. The hotels and the relationships between them. You know the characters and it shows, Sally is really in character and well written. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

Edited by Cerise
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It's good and very well written :) but it needs a little more emotion in the beginning. Just before Sally throws the rose out on the water she might have been thinking something like "Who were you, Amber? Oh, I know you were my niece, I know what you looked like from the photos, I know your likes and dislikes, Miles has told me...but I never knew you. Did you ever look up at the sky the way Pippa does and wonder at the world? Did you ever try to catch raindrops on your tongue or draw faces in a steamed up window and then wipe them away before anyone saw like I used to? I wish I'd known you."

But, hey. it's a great start. :)

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