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Love Problems

Guest jack+martha=trooluvv

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  • 2 weeks later...

Okay, I have sort of a problem, only it's not really my love problem...

So here's the problem. S (female) and E (male) is two of my best friends. They're not very close, but they're friends. Now both E and I are under 18, so we can't get into clubs or anything, but S can, and so can E's girlfriend. S and I aren't really close with E's girlfriend, and we haven't really had an opinion about her until now.

This weekend was the city fair, so a lot of people our age went out, and S was at the most popular (and only, as far as I know :P) club in town, and while she was there she saw E's girlfriend making out with a guy that definitely wasn't E.

S wasn't drunk, but she wasn't sure if E's girlfriend was. She said that another friend of us, who was with E's girlfriend didn't look like she was very drunk, so she didn't think E's girlfriend was very drunk either.

Now I feel like I'm kinda in a difficult situation here, cause on one hand I feel like it's not really my story to tell, and that it will just be more drama if I tell him what I know, but on the other hand, I don't really feel like I should just pretend I know nothing either...

He's the nicest guy, and he's being the perfect boyfriend to her, and I just don't know what to do. Anyone got any good advice?

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That is the definitive tricky situation. And my answer is always not to say anything to him. If you wanted to do something you could talk to his girlfriend about it, find out what's going on, whether she's going to say anything etc. Chances are, though, that it was a really stupid mistake and she really really regrets it and the only thing telling him would do would be to allieviate her conscience. It's certainly not going to make him feel any better to find out what happened but that it didn't mean anything so could we please forget it. He's happier not knowing. But then again, it's you in the situation so at the end of the day, just got to do what feels right.

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I agree with Lynd. I would just stay out of it and he probably won't listen to you. Especially if your friend isn't 100% sure it was his girlfriend. I know it's hard not to say something, but it most likely will just make things worse. If his girlfriend is cheating, it's her place to tell him. Either way these things have a habit of coming out eventually and if he gets mad that you didn't tell him, he will get over it. I wouldn't say anything to his girlfriend either. She might say something to him and twist what you said, telling him that you're just jealous and stuff like that.

Personally, I would just stay out of it. But then it's easier said than done, especially if you feel guilty. But then again, I'm not in your situation so just do what you think is right.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, I'm in need of some advice

So there is this guy I know, we’re not really friends but he says hi when he sees me and sometimes we talk a little on the bus or on our way to school. But I think I’m starting to like him in a more than friends way (maybe, I’m not sure because I don’t know him that well, but I do know I want to be his friend)

So I want to get to know him better but I don’t know how to go about that. I don’t see him that much because he doesn’t live in my town.

And I have his email address and his phone number but I got it from my friend (she also isn’t friends with him) so I could text him or send him an email. But then I don’t want to do that because he didn’t give me his number and I don’t want to look like a stalker or something like that.

And plus, what should I say then? Hi I want to get to know you better? It sounds so… I don’t know.

I don’t want to come over all desperate.

But a text or email is the only way I could say something because I don’t see him that much anymore.

So should I text him or send an email and what should I say.

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I say just go for it, send him a really casual 'hey, how are you?' text and then see if he replies. The first text will be the most nerve racking but then it'll be out of the way and you can start getting to know him better.

I am really sick of missing my ex-boyfriend. We broke up three and a half days ago now and life seems so weird without him. For nearly two years we spoke almost every day and now it's nothing. I know it's really weird and we broke up because we're going to different uni's and he has huge jealousy issues and we fight more than we don't but I just miss him like crazy.

Is it weird to ring him? I feel like I should know him well enough to know if he wants to talk to me too but now we're not together everything is different. I really want to just talk to him but not about anything 'us' related. But I don't know if I should call him or not. Advice please?

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So, after my previous dilemma here about whether I actually have feelings for my (now ex) best friend's boyfriend, I've realised I most definitely don't. He's an idiot. He has an awesome sense of humour, but an idiot nonetheless. Before, I think it was just me going a bit giddy because we'd got so close in such a small amount of time. Besides, I think a mutual friend of ours has a crush on him. Oh, the joys of love. Which brings me onto my problem...

I think I've talked about this guy here before. Anyway, quick run-down of the story:

I've known this guy for years and every summer we go on holiday together for two weeks. Two summers ago we got really, really, really close. We weren't officially 'together' but we were very good friends. He kinda jokingly asked me out and I brushed it off as just that, a joke. A while later, I realised he was being serious and I asked him out in December '06. He said no. We then didn't speak for the rest of that year, after a series of massive arguments, and the following summer was, well, interesting.

We've both applied for university this year and, by sheer coincidence, we both got into our first choices, which happened to be the same place. I don't reallu know why, but we started talking more this year and I went and visited him a couple of times when I was around where he lives. He told me he has a girlfriend (a mutual acquaintance) and I saw her again this summer. This summer me and him also got very close again. We just clicked and it was like we'd never been apart. He told me that his girlfriend hates the fact that we're so close. She hates it when he mentions me in conversation, and he had to lie to her and tell her that he hated the fact that I came and saw him, and that he was just doing it because he felt obliged. He reassured me that this was a lie, and I believe him. He had no reason to tell me in the first place, and doesn't think that I like him, so it's not like he'd be rubbing my face in anything; not that he's that kind of guy, anyway.

So, yeah, I really, really, really like him. It never went away, even during the time we didn't speak, I guess I just buried it to make it easier to deal with everything. He's told me how clingy he finds his girlfriend, but I don't think he'd dump her for me 'cause she's had a string of bummer boyfriends and it's taken her a long time to trust this guy and he's not the kind of person who'd mess someone around like that (one of the reasons I love him, but also one of the reasons why he's a bloody pain!).

We're going to the same uni in a few weeks, like I said before, and while I really want something to happen, I'm scared of messing it up. It's a no-win situation.

Sorry about the insane ramble!

Hattie: I have no advice, I'm sorry. I'd call him, personally, and then probably end up getting it all wrong! xo

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Ok. I just found out my ex is back in town. I am with someone else but I saw him the other day and I felt something, cant describe it but it was something! I dont know what to do, should I tell my boyfriend or just leave it alone and avoid him?

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