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Moonlight Dreaming (by Pengzilla) - comments


katie343
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Wow!

No joke. That has to be one of my favourite oneshots EVER written!

It was amazing! I was literally smiling or laughing all the way through it, and when I wasnt doing that, I was going, 'Awww, so cute' :D

You know I adore your writing; no one describes in detail the way you do, and thats an incredible achievement.

I love how you based it on Jack being drunk :P

And how you said that his snores were so loud that he'd wake himself up :lol: and then try to deny it! :P What a classic!!!

I could totally see this happening (in the past) for JnM ... I love Jacks cheeky character, and I HATE how Sam has sucked it away from him :(

Hopefully in a few (maybe several) months time, we'll get it back!

Excellent oneshot Nic! Absolutely loved it!

xxx

Edited by vale4eva
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:o

That was an incredible oneshot! I don't know what to say...

Your describtions, your way of writing... it's awesome! And I love the way you make his memory of Martha the best, while every time he tries to do the same with Sam, she just pushes him away :P

Jack was so cheeky and drunk :lol: Denying that it was his own snoring that woke him up :P

It's like you can see it happening on HAA because of the describtions. This was an incredible oneshot :D

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:o

WOW

The heavy night air was resting on her lame body. It was thick with heat and clammy with the torturous memories of mistakes. The crisp white sheet that lay over her sticky skin offered little comfort and the lumpy pillows beneath her matted locks of hair gave little condolence. The only thing that kept her company was the delicate moonlight falling onto her bed from the window.

Just that first sentence got me intrugued, the way you described it was just so beautifully written...

She extended an arm away from her chest and reached out to the other side of her mattress. She slipped her fingers between the bed sheet and the mattress, feeling the icy cool space beside her. Her fingers curled up in a ball after her routine check, and her fist eventually sunk back to her side, and her heart broke a little more.

That was so great, feeling the icy cold space, knowing he wasn't next to her and the cold space breaking her heart more...amazing

“I was just going to ask for a sandwich!” Jack exclaimed in defence, trying to fight the lazy smirk that was curling one side of his lips. “Gosh Martha! Get your mind out of the gutter.” He tutted at her.

Its great that you put humour into it...it started out so lonely and dark and then goes through to humor and love which is great well done

“Love you.” He said lazily in her ear, his chin rested on her shoulder and his hands were held in a clasp at her navel.

But Martha couldn’t stay mad at him. She smiled as she rested in his arms and sunk inwards and moulded to every fold and bend of his body.

“I know.” She said lightly, before dropping off to sleep with his faint breathing dancing in her ear.

That was just so sweet :wub:

He dug his face into the pillow, a groan of all sorts of twisted emotions spilling out into the cotton fabric.

Sam was angry at him.

He’d come in blindly drunk and she hadn’t been the tiniest bit impressed. Especially when he playfully suggested that they “take the feistiness to the bedroom.”

Especially when he called her Martha.

That would have to be one of my favourite lines out of the fic

The sound of her voice, with its delicate playful edge and caring undertone. The way she uttered “I know” because she didn’t dare be so cheesy as to say it back.

The way she felt when he held her in his arms all night.

And only a whisper of a memory in soft moonlight kept him feeling.

And finally the way you ended it with Jack always thinking about Martha just to keep him feeling again...

so thats the end for me and congrats...cant wait to read more of your fics :)

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  • 1 year later...

I love drunk Jack. :wub: Life was so much easier with Martha. :lol:

She felt so small in her huge bed. Like a flower in a field, or a small boat in an ocean.

I love that comparison. It shows how lonely she feels.

During that night Jack had woken himself up with his snores on many occasions. Each time he'd feel pretty shocked at his sudden awaken, and a little confused as to why Martha was grinning up at him. She'd told him everytime he woke what had happened, but each time he'd blatantly denied it. Because he doesn't snore. He was far too cool to snore. He adamant it was Martha.

:lol: I could so imagine the two of them arguing about who snores and who doesn't.

Sam was angry at him.

He’d come in blindly drunk and she hadn’t been the tiniest bit impressed. Especially when he playfully suggested that they “take the feistiness to the bedroom.”

Especially when he called her Martha.

Ouch! I can totally understand why that would **** Sam off.

That was an amazing one shot! :wub:

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  • QUIET ACHIEVER changed the title to Moonlight Dreaming (by Pengzilla) - comments

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