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More Than Anyone (by vale4eva) - comments


Cerise

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You used the title! :P

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!” She shrieked the most high pitched and loudest shriek that the world had ever come to hear, before flinging her hand around in the air like a hysterical mad man, and legging it straight up the stairway.

“WHAT! WHAT IS IT?!” a freaked out Jack stood at the doorway, as he watched the blurry figure approach him at lightening speed.

“A big hairy black spider” she cried as she lunged at him, pushing him backwards.

Hahahaha she's afraid of Spiders!

The really do appear like a couple, Rachel. :P

Update soon (or not.,.. whatever. Just Update :P)

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“What! Are you kidding me! The basement! Im not going down there! God knows what scary and horrid creatures will be down there, just waiting to pounce and feed on my soft and vulnerable flesh!”

loved that. That spider part freaked the heck out of me though. So they are only friends, how cute. And they call each other 'hun' how lovely.

Loving this already :)

More please

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Big, black, hairy spider...was that description noted from a real-life experience Rachel?! :P

Aww, great start :wub: They're so cute.

Jack's such a wuss :lol: But Martha's certainly got some guts; that makes a nice balance.

Great start! Can't wait to read more soon (hopefully :) ).

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Rach I LOVE IT!!!!! :wub:

Aww this is great, I have a feeling that I'm really gonna enjoy this. I love how you've written the dynamics of their relationship already..

Although I am in no doubt that further along the track I will be pulling my hair out at you blurring the friendship/relationship line :P, right now it's a great twist and something different. Your writing was really good in this - you did the dialogue very well and I also loved the humour. You gave me a few good laughs there Rach! Whoever knew you had it in you to be funny...?! :lol::wink:

I seriously can't wait til the next chapter, please post asap and put me out of my misery.

Oh yea, and thanks for changing the word. Made it easier for my small brain with it's limited vocab to understand. :P

Edited by -Jade-
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