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The Fletchons (Simpsons spoof)

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Type of story: One Shot Episodes. (Look out for more)

Rating: G

Main Characters: Main - Sally, Brad, Ric, Cassie, Alf, Pippa. and Others.

Genre: Spoof

Warnings: None. Spoofed on The Simpsons spoof of The Shining.

Is Story being proof read: No

Summary: Just a spoof of The Simpsons spoof of The Shining.. I got bored :P

As it is basically just the simpsons with name changes,I take no credit for the story. :D

Brad: Well, It was a long trip, But we're almost there.

Sally: Brad, Did you remember to lock the front door of the house?

Brad: D'oh!

Brad: Well, It's been two long trips, But we're finally almost there... again.

Sally: When you locked the front door, Did you remember to lock the back door?

Brad: D'oh! D'oh!

Cassie: Oh no! We left Grampa Alf back at the gas station.

No one speaks.

Cassie: What about Grampa Alf?

Brad: What about him?

The Fletchons finally arrive, They all get out of the car and wave.

Amanda: Oh, Goody! The Sea Monkeys I ordered have arrived. Heh heh

Colleen: Ma'am, They're the new winter caretakers for the lodge.

Amanda: Yes, They work hard and they play hard.

Amanda takes the family on a tour of the lodge.

Amanda: This house has quite a long history. It was build on an ancient Indian burial ground and was the setting of satanic rituals, Witch-burnings and five John Denver Christmas specials.

Brad: Ohh, John Denver.

They stop in front of the elevator, which opens and disgorges a river of blood, The Fletchions looked shocked.

Amanda: Hmm, That's odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.

Outside Drew is watering a part of the hedge maze. Ric comes through the middle of the hedge using a chainsaw.

Ric: Hey! I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.

Drew: Why you little [thinking] No, no, Go easy on the wee one. His father's going to go crazy and chop them all into haggis!

Ric: What's haggis?

Drew: [gasps] Boy! You read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning.

Ric: You mean Shining.

Drew: Shh! You want to get sued? Now look, If your Dad goes gaga, You just use that Shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Drew's time!

Colleen cuts a wire and picks up two crates of beer.

Amanda: Yes, By cutting off cable and the beer supply, I can ensure an honest winter's work out of those low-lives.

Colleen: Ma'am, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?

Amanda: Hmm.. Perhaps. Tell you what, We come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.

The two drive off. Inside, Brad is sitting on the couch eating snacks. He grabs the televison control and turns on the Television. Seeing nothing but static.

Brad: Hmm. Cable's out.

Brad enters the kitchen.

Brad: Think I'll have a beer.

He opens fridge.

Brad: Not a drop in the house.

Sally: Brad, I'm impressed! You're taking this quite well.

Brad: [Crazy like] I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you!

Sally: Brad!

Brad: Sorry. Don't worry. There's plenty I can do to keep myself occupied. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection.

Brad walks out, shuts door, then pops head back in.

Brad: [Evilly] See you later.

Cassie: Sally, Is Brad going to kill us?

Sally: We are just going to have to wait and see.

Brad sits in the empty lodge bar. A ghostly Tony appears behind the bar.

Tony: So, What'll it be, Brad?

Brad: Tony, Give me a beer!

Tony: No, Not unless you kill your family.

Brad: Why should I kill my family?

Tony: [Thinking] They'd be much happier as ghosts.

Brad: You don't look so happy.

Tony: [Angerly] I'm happy, I'm very happy. La la la, la la la la. See?

Tony grabs Brad.

Tony: Now waste your family and I'll give you a beer!

Sally walks into a darkened room calling Brad.

Sally: Brad? Brady? Hmm...

She sees the typewriter she reads it

Sally: [Reading] 'Feeling fine'. That's a relief.

Suddenly lightning strikes, Revealing the words 'No TV and no beer make Brad go crazy' written all over the walls.

Sally: Mmm.. This is less encouraging.

Brad: [bursting into the room] Hello!

Sally: Aah!

Brad: So what do you think, Sal? All I need is a title, I was thinking along the lines of 'No TV and No Beer Make Brad' something something.

Sally: "Go Crazy"?

Brad: Don't mind if I do!

Brad makes crazy noises and faces, then runs at Sally. She runs over to a glass case enclosing a baseball bat, She breaks the glass and grabs it threatening Brad with it.

Brad: Give me the bat, Sally!

She swings it at him. He laughs and calls her a scaredycat, making a hideous face. Brad turns and sees his own hideous face in a mirror causes him to faint with and fall down the stairs. Sally drags his body into a cold storage room.

Sally: You stay here until you're no longer insane.

Sally looks over at some cans, Picking one up.

Sally: Hmm.. Chili would be good tonight.

Brad wakes up and looks around at all that food and starts to eat it all. He hears a voice coming from the other side of the door.

Tony: Brad? It's Tony. Some of the other ghosts and I are a little concerned the project isn't moving forward.

Brad: Can't murder now, eating.

Tony: Oh, For crying out loud.

Tony and some other ghosts come in and drag Brad kicking and screaming. The rest of the Fletchions are sitting around eating dinner. Outside the door Brad grabs a axe and begins chopping up the door. He peeks his head through.

Brad: Heeeere's Johnny!

Brad realizes he has just broken into a empty room.

Brad: D'oh!

Brad starts chopping through another door.

Brad: Daaaaavid Letterman!

Grampa Alf: Hi David, I'm Grampa Alf.

Brad: D'oh!

Brad chops through yet another door. He holds up a stopwatch.

Brad: I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!

The Fletchons: [Together Screaming] Aaaaah!

They run into a room and see a radio. Sally runs up to it and calls for help.

Sally: [On radio] Hello, Police? This is Sally Fletchion. My husband is on a murderous rampage. Over.

Peter Baker sits up and moves closer to the radio.

Peter Baker: Well thank God that's over. I was worried there for a second.

Peter turned off the radio and picked up a donut.

Sally: No-one has answered!

Ric: Don't worry, Sally. I can use my Shinning to call Drew.

Ric concentrates and Drew sits up.

Drew: Uh oh. The little fat boy and his family are in trouble.

Drew ran outside and threw his mini television into the snow.

Drew: I'm coming to rescue the lot of you.

He opens the door to the lodge and runs in.

Drew: Alright loony, Show me what you got!

From behind Brad hits Drew in the back with a axe. Drew collapses.

Sally: Oh, my. I hope that rug was Scotchgarded.

Brad repeats the words..

Brad: Must kill family.

He walks towards them menacingly with the axe. They run outside into the snow, but Brad catches up to them. He raised the axe high above his head, Cassie noticed the television that Drew had thrown in the snow.

Cassie: Brad, look!

She held up the television.

Brad: Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret lover. Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading...rising! Fading...fading

The Fletchion family all sigh.

Brad: Come family. Sit in the snow with Brad and let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.

Hours had past and the family got frozen in the snow.

[TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!

Ric: Brad. Change channel!

Brad: Can't! Frozen! Urge to kill...rising...

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Ric and Cassie are eating breakfast, Ric sees that there is no milk left for his cereal. Cassie waves a magic wand and says the magic word..

Cassie: Abra-ca-dairy

A glass jug appears and pours milk on Ric's cereal.

Sally: Look at the time, You're going to miss the bus to wizard school.

Cassie grabs her wand and points it to the clock.

Cassie: Five-minutes-more-ius.

The hands on the clock spin backwards five minutes.

Sally: That's not good for the clock.

Cassie and Ric arrive at Summer Bay's School of Magicry. Drew grabs Lucas's hand and makes him use his own magic wand on himself.

Drew: Stop zapping yourself Lucas.

Lucas's head turns into a banana, Then a ostrich head and finally Mr. T's head.

Sally: Good morning class. Harry Potter, Are you chewing gum?

Harry: No, Ma'am. It's brimstone.

Harry breathes fire.

Sally: Well, Wonderful. Now class the big magic recital's coming up, so we're going to start with some basic toad to prince spells. Everybody get out their toads.

Lucas waved his wand at his toad and said..

Lucas: Slimy-prince-limey!

His toad turns into a fat drunken man.

'Prince' 1: [Drunkenly] Well, Hello love. Give us a kiss then.

Sally: You call that charming?

Sally walks forward to Cassie.

Cassie: Hocus-croakus!

Cassie's toad turns into a tidy British man wearing a union jack shirt and suit.

Sally: Oh, Excellent Cassie. A+

Sally leans over to the prince.

Sally: And we'll discuss your grade over breakfast.

The prince gulps and laughs nervously.

Prince 2: Yes, Rather.

Sally moved on to Ric.

Sally: Well, Ric. Did you study your spell book last night, Or did your fairy godmother die again?

Ric: I studied.

Ric waves his wand.

Ric: Abra-ca.. turn into a prince guy?

Ric's toad turns into a cross between a toad and a man that cant stop throwing up.

Sally: Sloppy work as usual. Cassie is casting spells at an eighth grade level and you have sinned against nature.

Toadman: Please kill me.

Ric: You think you're so great just because you have godlike powers.

Cassie's Prince walked between Ric and Cassie.

Prince 2: Stand away from milady!

Ric picks up his mutant toadman.

Ric: Get in there! Defend my honor!

Ric's toad throws up all over Cassie's Prince.

Toadman: Every moment I live is agony!

Cassie: Ric, You're getting vomit on my prince!

Cassie waves her want.

Cassie: Head-zeppelin!

Ric's head mophs into a zeppelin and he floats to the ceiling.

Far away Amanda watches Cassie in a giant crystal ball.

Amanda: Look at that Cassie Turner. She's got more wicked-witchery than Stevie Nicks! Oh, Colleen!

Colleen enters the room as a large snake.

Colleen: Yes, Lady Vale?

Amanda: Let's, uh.. capture that girl and steal her magical essence. I'm not getting squat from this yo-yo.

Amanda puts on a helmet that's attached by a tube to a similar helmet on Belle's head.

Belle: Dying tickles!

Amanda: We can't attack her while she's got that wand. We'll need a go between to get it away from her.

Colleen: How about Satan?

Amanda: No, no. I'm docking him. His wife has a screenplay.

In the bathroom Ric turns the hand drier on, Instead of drying his hands it sucks him in and he falls into Amanda's lair. Amanda tells Ric that Ric will be helping her, Ric asks what happens if he doesn't. Amanda points to a blue wall where many faces from it moan.

Martha: I've heard of a wailing wall, But this is ridiculous.

The other faces moan at how corny Martha's joke was.

Amanda: Anyway, How would you like to humiliate your sister?

Ric: I'd like that, I'd like that very much.

Amanda: Now, It would involve betrayal and unspeakable evil.

Ric: Hey, Hey! You made your sale.

At the school hall parents gathered for the Spellzapoppin Magic Recital. Alf watched football on a portable television in the audience. Lucas is onstage and attempts to use a invisibility cloak. The cloak only make his clothes invisible and leaves him naked, He runs off the stage embarrassed.

Principal Armstrong comes out and sprinkles the audience with some amnesia dust. They start clapping.

Principal Armstrong: Now is a sorceress so powerful, She made tonights refreshments out of dead people.

The audience moan in disgust, Principal Armstrong gets more dust out of his pocket and spray it on the audience who start laughing. Principal Armstrong explains that Cassie will do the levitating dragon trick, But behind the curtains Ric swaps Cassie's magic wand with another one.

Cassie enters as the curtain are raised revealing a giant caged dragon. Cassie asks for the dragon to be released. The dragon walks out and breathes fire. Everyone in the room fears for Cassie's life. Alf gasps but moves one eye down to the television.

The dragon advances on Cassie as she picks up the wand and says the words.

Cassie: Alacazi dragonfly

When nothing happens she smells the wand and realizes it is a Twizzler. Off stage Ric laughs. The dragon roars and then morphs into a giant Amanda. All the audience run out screaming.

Alf: [Yelling] Hey! I stayed for your kids!

Amanda picks up Cassie with her head and puts the soul transferring helmets on each of them. She holds Cassie upside down and starts shaking her.

Ric gasps.

Ric: This is partly my fault!

He takes out Cassie's real wand and says.

Ric: Prank be undone! Destroy the evil one!

Ric gets struck by lightning.

Ric: Not me!

Cassie: Help me, Ric!

Ric runs at Amanda and stabs her in the leg with the wand.

Amanda: Ow! My enchanted shin! How did you know that was the source of my power?

Amanda falls to the floor and shrinks back to normal size, Cassie takes off the helemt and runs to hug Ric.

Colleen: Oh, Ma'am. In death we shall be together always.

Colleen starts eating Amanda.

Cassie: Ric, Let's stop this stupid rivalry, Even if you never become a great sorcerer, You're still an okay brother.

Ric: Thanks Cassie. Now let's try to forget this nightmare.


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