Behind Closed Doors

[allibaz91]

Well, I do apologise to everyone for the lateness - really, late, I know

Had some terrible writer's block - but I got over it tonight and went on a rampage!! This may be the longest chapter to date, so hopefully that makes up for it a bit

Chapter 40

“So how does it feel to be alive?” Leah joked three days later, sitting at the breakfast table with Peter and Drew. He considered her question for a moment. It certainly felt strange to be back in his old life again … but he wasn’t sure he’d felt truly ‘alive’ since leaving Clare.

“Really weird,” he admitted eventually. “But good. I missed you guys, you know.”

“Yeah, right!” Drew laughed. “You missed all the cheek I used to give you whenever you tried to get in touch with me? My bratty behaviour? Bailing me out of trouble at school?”

“You know, when you put it that way, I might have to go back into Witness Protection!”

“Oh, you love it!” Leah laughed, lifting their plates and beginning to clear them away. “So what are you guys planning to do today? Going to venture out the door, Pete?”

Peter looked pointedly away from either of them, choosing not to respond. It was true he hadn’t been out of the house since leaving the hospital. It was also true that he didn’t feel ready to face the locals yet. Everyone knew he was back – Jack had seen to that – but it still felt surreal. Somehow, the thought of walking around, living his old life like nothing had changed, seemed like a disservice to Clare and Lucy. He had received the occasional text from Clare to let him know that Lucy was stable, but not improving yet. She always finished it saying she loved him, and not to reply. Not to reply. It hurt him that he couldn’t even send her a message letting her know he loved her too. But at the same time, he knew how stubborn she was. The chances were, she would delete any messages from him without reading them. She was determined that way – once she put up her walls; set her boundaries, she’d do anything to keep them from being crossed. Even at the expense of her own heart, he thought bitterly.

“Pete?” He jumped a little, prompted out of his thoughts. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry, Leah,” he apologised. “I got a little lost in thought – what was that?”

“I was just asking if you’ve heard from Clare lately,” she repeated quietly. Peter glanced around, only to discover that somewhere during his little daydream, if you could call it that, Drew had left the room. He sighed and looked at the ground, avoiding Leah’s eye.

“She’s texted me a couple of times,” he admitted. “Just to keep me updated on Lucy’s condition. Once a day, until something changes. Nothing more than that, though.”

“I still can’t believe it,” Leah said, sitting down beside him. “I mean, I know how much you and Clare have been through, even before all this stuff, with the baby and all to think of now. I can’t believe Drew asked you to leave her. I can’t believe you did it.”

“He’s my son, Leah,” Peter said shortly, trying not to let his voice show any of what he was really feeling. “He has to come first. Especially when he’s felt so abandoned all his life.”

“Maybe,” Leah agreed, in a tone that let him know quite clearly that she wasn’t fooled by his offhandedness. “And maybe you have to think of your own happiness for once too.”

He looked up at her, surprised. He couldn’t quite figure out her angle. Surely she and Dan ought to be happy he was back; be encouraging him to spend lots of time with Drew.

“Come on, Pete,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Ever since I’ve known you, it’s always been about work, and making everyone else happy. First it was Sarah – look how well that worked out for you! Then it was stepping back and letting Dan be happy; then it was Eve – and then Clare. For once, you did what made you happy – and you gave it all up to come back here and hunt down Eve! And after that, you went into Witness Protection, despite it not being what you wanted – and now you’re leaving Clare, Lucy and your unborn child, because it’s what Drew wants. And I know you want to be close to Drew too, which is great. But you don’t want to lose the others for him, and that’s totally right!”

“Leah …” He sighed heavily. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I love Clare more than I’ve ever loved anyone, you know? She’s the other half of me. And Lucy is the daughter I never had. Spending time with her; it prepared me to be a better dad for Drew. And I’d give anything to be near them right now. But Clare agrees with me, that Drew has to be comfortable enough with the whole thing, or it can never work. And what he needs now is time. Time with me. Something he deserved a long time ago.”

*******************************************

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Drew asked for what had to be at least the fifth time. Peter smiled wanly, hitting the mute button on the remote and glancing at his son.

“Thanks for the offer,” he grinned, “but I don’t reckon I should be surfing. I’m not supposed to get these wounds wet for a while. Probably not worth risking it.”

“Well, I guess if you really want, I could stay here …” the teenager offered. Peter just laughed. He had heard the reports of the massive waves, same as Drew had. If he had been fit, and not in hiding from the town, he would’ve been out in a flash. It was sweet of Drew to offer, but he knew the boy’s heart wasn’t really in it. But the offer meant a lot.

“You go on, mate,” he grinned. “We’ll watch a movie or something tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah, cool,” Drew smiled, and left with a brief wave.

No sooner had Peter turned up the volume on a game of cricket, than the doorbell rang. He let out a silent groan. Nobody else was home, and it was up to him to get it. He really didn’t feel he could face anybody right now, but he had no choice. He dragged himself wearily from the couch and went to answer the door, then stopped in shock.

“Well? Are you going to stand there gawking all day, or are you going to invite me in?”

“Come in …” he said finally, standing aside. “I have to say, I didn’t expect this.”

“No, I would imagine not. I’m not staying long. I just came over for a quick chat.”

“Would this be a ‘quick chat’ of the kind you used to insist on having with me, then?”

“Depends.” The visitor walked through to the living room and sat down without waiting for an invitation. “What exactly have you been up to, Baker?”

“What do you want, Eric?” Peter snapped, in no mood for games. “I haven’t talked to you in about fifteen years, and you show up here, out of the blue, now? Why?”

“Lucy,” Eric said simply. “Clare and I haven’t gotten along for a long time, you know that, but Julie and I were relatively close. I know Lucy fairly well. Now I get a phone call, out of nowhere, from my ex-stepmother, saying she needs a good lawyer for her granddaughter, because she’s just shot a man, and you want to know what I’m doing here? I was thinking about golf, but maybe we’d be better sticking to the matter at hand.”

“You’re real funny, mate,” was the reply. “So what do you want from me? Talk to Julie or her mother; they’re the ones who called you in. Nothing to do with me.”

“It’s got everything to do with you!”

A moment later, Peter was pinned to the wall, Eric’s hand grasping his throat.

“You listen to me, Baker,” he hissed. “Lucy’s in hospital, in a coma, and if she ever wakes up she’s going to be charged with murder. This all happened because, for whatever unfathomable reason, she felt the need to come after you! If it weren’t for you being in Clare’s life – something I objected to from the start – she’d be fine, and happy! So don’t you shirk any responsibility in this – if Lucy’s going down, you can bet your ass I’ll be taking you down with her! Now you tell me what happened that night!”

Another couple of seconds, and Eric was sprawled across the floor, and Peter was standing over him angrily, one hand holding him down and the other massaging his jugular.

“Now it’s your turn to listen,” he replied angrily. “Don’t talk to me about Lucy, because there’s no way you can care for her the way I do! And until there’s any change in her condition, I’ve been told expressly to keep out of it. The best thing you can do right now, is to know when to stop. And if you really want to help her, then how about you track down Julie and this Aaron bloke? Whether she likes it or not, she has a responsibility to her daughter! It’s not our fault she’s not around, and she should be! Maybe doing something like that would keep your mind focussed, not running riot and making stupid accusations.”

“Hang on!” Eric forced his way up from the floor, seeming closer to speechless than Peter had ever seen him. “When Julie’s mother called me, she said the hospital had said Lucy was with her mother. As far as I know, she’s been there all along.”

“Julie walked off,” Peter informed him dryly, “and left us to look out for her. Clare’s not left her bedside, as far as I know. Maybe you ought to get your facts straight.”

“Maybe you ought to face up to the consequences of your actions!” Eric shouted back, bringing back a fist, clearly about to punch Peter. He ducked, knocking Eric sideways across the room, and a moment later they were scuffling on the floor.

“HEY!!” Peter felt himself being dragged backwards, and he loosened his clenched fists as Dan held him back from Eric, who was struggling to his feet, breathing heavily.

“You’re a dead man, Peter Baker ” Eric promised angrily. “And you can tell Clare when you see her, too, that even if I don’t find Julie, I’ll do anything and everything in my power to keep the pair of you from Lucy. If you care about her the way you say you do, you’d better be ready to fight for custody. Because Julie wouldn’t want you two having her.”

“Get the hell out,” Peter spat. Eric shot him another glare before turning and leaving.

“What the hell was that?!” Dan demanded angrily. Peter just shook his head before storming out. Forget avoiding the locals; forget the stares and whispers; he just needed out of there.

**********************************************

“Dad!” Peter was walking along the path just at the top of the beach, his head spinning. Between Lucy being ill, their relationship going on hold, and the baby, Clare had enough on her mind without this added pressure. How could he tell her about Eric now?

“Dad!” He turned at the sound of Drew’s voice, and waited for his son to catch up. “Hey, I thought you were supposed to be in hiding from everyone?” Drew joked. Peter attempted a smile, but he knew fine well it wouldn’t work. Drew looked at him, clearly concerned.

“Everything okay?” he asked unsurely. Peter stopped walking and leaned on the fence, staring out to sea, wondering if standing here long enough would make it all go away.

“Not exactly,” he conceded, hunching his shoulders as the sea breeze caught his hair.

“You miss Clare, don’t you?” His son’s tone wasn’t as harsh as it could have been, and not even accusing. It was more of a statement than a question. Peter shrugged.

“Sure,” he said. “I love her. But this isn’t about me missing Clare, mate, honestly.”

“Maybe not,” Drew agreed, “but it’s getting to you. I just … have you talked to her?”

“We agreed to keep our distance for a while, until things settle.” What was the point in pretending otherwise? Drew obviously knew exactly how he felt already, anyway.

“You … you guys haven’t broken up, have you? Not because of me, right?”

“We haven’t broken up, we’re just taking some time out so I can spend time with you and she can be with Lucy,” Peter clarified. “It’s not like we plan on being apart forever.”

“Dad!!!”

Peter turned to look at Drew, surprised. Now his tone was accusing.

“What?” he asked, perplexed. Surely this was what Drew had wanted from him?

“Oh, you are a fool!” His son bent over the fence, laughing. “Dad, I never wanted you to stay away from her completely! It wasn’t about choosing between her and me, at least not really! It was about you and me getting to know one another! I wanted you to put me first, not make me the only important thing in your life! Have you seriously just thrown away the best thing that ever happened to you, because you thought it was what I wanted?”

Peter stood there for a moment, mouth hanging open. Drew laughed aloud again.

“Go!” he ordered, grinning from ear to ear. “Go get her! Being her back for dinner tonight, and let’s try and get this thing right, okay? And I’ll tell Leah she’s not allowed to feed you until you appear with Clare at your side!”

“Thank you,” Peter said hoarsely. He pulled his son into a tight hug. “Really, you have no idea how much it means to me that you’re willing to accept her into the family.”

“Dad … you love her. She might as well be my stepmother, really! That’s enough for me.”

****************************************************

Peter ran the whole way to the hospital – he was freezing and completely exhausted by the time he got there, but he did it. All he kept thinking was what a fool he’d been. He didn’t even stop to wait for the lift, but instead took the stairs two at a time, all the time with one clear goal embedded into his brain: getting to Clare, and getting there fast. The doors bore the brunt of his excess energy, with plenty of slamming going on, and he was vaguely aware of leaving a trail of disgruntled nurses in his wake. As if any of that was even remotely significant. He had to find Clare and talk to her – especially, he thought worriedly, before Eric or Julie got in touch. He burst through the doors on the fifth floor and looked around him.

The door to Lucy’s room was ajar, and he could see the back of Clare’s head, as she sat perfectly still in her chair, propped up on one elbow, watching over her niece like a hawk. He pushed the door open quietly, coming around the chair to talk to Clare; only to find her fast asleep. Her chest rose and fell gently and rhythmically, and he smiled to himself as he saw that she had dozed off with one hand propping up her head, and the other loosely placed on her stomach. There was no way he was disturbing her – the chances were, she hadn’t slept in the three days they’d been apart, and he knew she hadn’t slept properly for a couple of days before that either. Instead, he kissed her forehead lightly, and sat down on the edge of Lucy’s bed, watching over his two girls.

He sighed softly and brushed Lucy’s long hair out of her eyes, smoothing it down gently on the pillow. His hand drifted down her arm until he found her hand, and squeezed it tight. It was warmer than he’d expected. A moment later, he felt her squeeze back. He jumped off the bed in surprise, bending over her pale, peaceful face, hardly able to believe it. Sure enough, she squeezed his hand tighter, and her eyelids flickered slowly open. She blinked once, twice, three times: Peter could see her struggling to focus. A watery smile spread over her face, and all the colour seemed to flood back into her cheeks before his eyes.

“Dad …”

Enjoy, everyone!

(And no, it's not the end of the fic, don't worry )

[Lilone]

OMG that was so sad but yet so cute, Tears are in my eyes from that last scene!!!!!!

And you said you had Writers Block!!!!!

This just gets better and better, stupid Eric, Dan should have let Pete bash him!

Glad Drew told his dad to go after Clare.

Awwww Pete, hes such a cutey

I liked the Leah and Pete scene, quite surprisingly LOL

Update soon

[Mrs Bishop]

So glad Lucy has woken.

Sweet of Peter not to wake Clare.

Loving this more and more.

Up date soon Ali.

[Jess]

Awww, yay; Drew has stopped being such a spoilt little brat! And the non!Clete scene when she was sleeping was so cute.

[xXxAnGiExXx]

PLESAE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!

its so great!

[Lilone]

Yeah, update....

Love this

[allibaz91]

Okay, now I really DO have writer's block!!

I'll try and get more up ASAP, though - I don't want to abandon this fic, don't worry!

[allibaz91]

Guess who's back?

I know, I know, it's been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages!!! I'm sooooo, sooooooo sorry

But, I have a new chapter!!

Lil - I so did have writer's block! But thanks for reviewing and waiting patiently lol, much appreciated!

Janice - Thanks very much, hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Jess - Hehehe glad you enjoyed it - felt we needed some cuteness!! I promise more in this one!

Angie - Wow, such enthusiasm!! Thanks for reading!!

Anyway, I do apologise, and I reallllly plan on keeping on top of this one again from now on! If I don't, just feel free to bug me about it, because this really was terrible of me!!

Enjoy!

*****************************************

Chapter 41

“So, refresh me – what exactly were you doing here to begin with?”

“I came to talk to you. It’s nothing to worry about, but I wanted to find you as quickly as I could, and then when I did you were asleep, and … I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful in there, and I didn’t want to be the one to disturb you. I was going to wait.”

“And then Luce woke up – I follow you … how long has it been?”

“About three minutes. Would you just sit down already? Rachel knows what she’s doing.”

“I just want to know she’s okay. I haven’t called Julie – I don’t know if I should …”

“I wouldn’t suggest it.”

Peter and Clare looked around and saw Rachel slipping out of Lucy’s room, pulling the door closed softly behind her. Peter got to his feet quickly, searching Rachel’s face for any telltale signs that something might be wrong. She smiled weakly, but reassuringly all the same, and motioned for them to sit. She then took a seat just opposite them. Instinctively, Peter reached for Clare’s hand and held it in his own, squeezing it tight.

“How is she?” Clare finally asked, when Rachel didn’t speak for a moment.

“She’s … awake,” Rachel said slowly. “She’s not perfect, but her memory appears to be intact, and she’s coping well with the pain for the moment. The wound looks to be healing at a fairly steady rate, and with any luck she’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“Well, that’s great, isn’t it?” Clare demanded sharply, and Peter squeezed her hand again.

“Yes, absolutely, it is. It’s just that, with patients like this, it’s not uncommon for them to have a delayed reaction to everything that’s happened, and it can trigger very sudden cases of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. This can have any number of effects, including mood swings, erratic behaviour, sudden loss of appetite … I just don’t think we should get complacent about her recovery just yet, is all. I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“So can we see her?” Peter asked quickly, seeing Clare’s mouth opening and deciding it was better to cut her off before she got started on Rachel, who nodded.

“Absolutely – she’s a little drowsy, and you cannot under any circumstances get her stressed out, all right? That’s why I wouldn’t call her mother. But by all means, go on in.”

“Thank you,” Clare said, standing again quickly. Knowing her as he did allowed Peter to sense her emotions; namely, the fact that she was fighting tears. Whether of joy or of renewed worry, he wasn’t sure as yet. He smiled his thanks to Rachel and got to his feet, and as she walked away, he followed Clare through into Lucy’s room.

“Clare!”

“Oh, God, Lucy!” Peter felt a tug at his heartstrings as Clare flew across the room and pulled Lucy into her arms, holding her tight and sobbing openly now. Lucy put her arms around her aunt, and he watched as the tears poured down her drawn white cheeks.

“Clare, I’m so, so sorry,” Lucy said miserably, sniffling. “I know you must be so mad at me, and I know I shouldn’t have snuck out, and I know I’m going to be in so much trouble when I’m well enough for the police to talk to me, but … he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father, you know, and I couldn’t let him get himself killed, I just couldn’t!”

“Hey.” Clare pulled back from her niece, and for a moment Peter watched her with bated breath, unsure how she would react. She took Lucy’s face in her hands, and kissed her forehead, her mouth set. “You only did what I would have done, given half a chance,” Clare said heatedly. “And I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone tell you it was wrong. Shooting someone is an awful thing, Luce, but you did it out of love, when someone else’s life was at risk. You did the only thing you could do – the only thing we would have expected!”

At that moment, Peter suddenly knew that Clare was ready to be a mother. He had known it all along, somewhere deep down, but it had never been clearer to him that she had grown to love Lucy as her own daughter – as had he, come to that – and that she would do anything to protect her from the world, as only a parent could. He smiled to himself.

“Dad, I really am sorry,” Lucy said, turning her face towards him. “But I didn’t know what else to do. It all happened so fast, and I – I just followed you out of instinct, and anger that you had left, and I knew you were in danger so I took Clare’s gun to protect myself, not to hurt anyone, and then when I saw him … you’re not angry with me, are you?” For a moment, he didn’t speak. Then he crossed the room and perched on the edge of her bed alongside Clare, who was now wiping her eyes.

“How could I be?” he eventually asked with a small chuckle. “If it weren’t for you, I might be dead right now, Luce. You saved my life. You did more than that – you gave me the chance for my old life back. I’m just so sorry I forced you into that situation at all.”

“Nobody forced me!” she said indignantly, and both Peter and Clare laughed. “I did it because I wanted you to know you could have it both ways. And you can, you know.”

“Here I was thinking we were the adults,” Peter joked, nudging Clare in the ribs.

“Yeah, well, she’s wise beyond her years,” she agreed fondly. “And we love you, Luce. Don’t ever doubt that. No matter what happens, you have us for support, all right?”

“All right,” Lucy agreed, and for the first time, her face split into a proper smile. She reached up and dragged her aunt and Peter down into a group hug, all three of them grinning and laughing somewhat nervously.

“Sorry,” said a voice, “but I’m going to have to ask you two to step outside.” Peter glanced up and saw one of the nurses in the doorway, smiling apologetically. “We need to change Lucy’s dressing and give her some medication. You can wait outside.”

“Thank you,” Peter said, standing up. He offered Clare his hand, and when she took it, he pulled her to her feet. “We’ll come back in when they’re done, if you want us to.”

“You’d better,” Lucy joked, but her voice sounded slightly weak now. Clare shot him a sideways glance, and he responded with a tiny nod. Clare kissed Lucy once more.

“Wait and see how you feel, then,” she said vaguely. “The meds might make you tired. But we’ll be here, if you need us.” Lucy nodded, seeming reassured, and Peter let Clare pass him, following her quietly from the room. He glanced back before closing the door, and saw her eyelids already beginning to droop.

“She’s lucky to have you.” He turned away from the door, to find Clare watching him shrewdly. “You don’t have to hang around for her. I mean, you know you’re always more than welcome, but … well, I don’t imagine Drew would be thrilled to know you’re here.” The bitterness; the resigned-ness in her tone; weren’t lost on Peter. He half-smiled, taking a few steps forward and brushing a loose strand of hair out of her eye; tucking it into place behind her ear. He felt her shudder slightly at his touch, and felt his own smile grow.

“I don’t reckon Drew would be thrilled if he thought I was anywhere else,” he replied honestly. Clare turned her face towards him, and for a brief moment, he could see past the mask, and into the depths of her soul. All the hurt; the anguish; the vulnerability that he had long since forgotten in her, shone through. But mingled with her grief and inner turmoil was something that lit a fire inside him. It made him curse himself for being the reason it had disappeared to begin with, and in his head and heart, he swore on everything he held dear that he would never let it die again. Tears pricked his eyelids, as he felt his face break into a beam.

“What is it?” Clare asked hoarsely, her voice barely above a whisper. He bent his head close to her, holding her face between his hands as she had done to Lucy just minutes before. He rested his forehead against hers, revelling in being able to hold her again.

“Hope,” he murmured, almost to himself. Catching the unasked question on her lips, he elaborated swiftly. “There’s hope in your eyes again. I don’t know when I last saw you look like that. God … did I ever tell you how beautiful you look when you need something?”

“It’s not something I need,” she said, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “It’s someone.” Peter’s heart had never been so close to bursting as it was right then.

“Someone needs you too,” he promised her, hoping she could see in his eyes how deeply he meant every word. “That is, if you’ll still have him, after he’s been such a fool.”

“You great, freaking, moron,” Clare breathed, and all of a sudden her lips were on his, pressing against him and begging for his love. He moved his hands from her cheeks and slid them around her waist, pulling her flush against him as he kissed her; wanting more than anything to show her how sorry he was. When she finally dragged her mouth from his, he caught a brief glimpse of her glowing cheeks and swollen lips, before she let out a sob and flung herself into his arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He closed his eyes and held her close, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo mingled with the distinct smell of hospital. He might have guessed she would have barely left the place.

“What about Drew?” he heard her ask, though her voice was muffled by his shirt.

“I’ve been an idiot,” Peter apologized grimly. “He never wanted me to give up on you; on us – he just wanted my priorities to be right. And now I reckon they finally are.”

“I’ve been such a mess without you …” she confessed, her tone hushed. “All I let myself think about was Lucy, because anything else seemed too hard without you by my side to help me see sense. I couldn’t even begin to worry about Julie – you know she hasn’t been back once? – or about Eric, or Sam, or anything except Luce. I’d just expected we would tackle all that other stuff together, and I was so close to falling apart when I thought I’d lost you … I just couldn’t face it all on my own; not yet, anyway.”

“And we will tackle it together,” he swore. “I’ll never let you feel that way again.”

“Peter?” He reluctantly let go of Clare and looked around to find Rachel watching them, and he could swear he caught her smiling out of the corner of his eye. When he focussed, however, her demeanour was professional as ever, although she did look rather uncommonly pleased with herself as she held out a long document in his direction.

“What’s this?” he asked blankly, glancing down at it bemusedly. Clare moved around from behind him to his side and skimmed over it quickly, as Rachel smirked ever so slightly.

“Lucy has requested that her mother be prevented from seeing her,” she informed them simply. “She doesn’t want her within shouting range of this room, and as her doctor, I’m giving her request my full backing. I thought you might be able to procure a restraining order for me.”

Clare gasped with what Peter knew to be delight, and he put one arm around her hips and squeezed her waist, grinning broadly. She smiled into his eyes, and he could feel the pure love radiating from her right then. He glanced back at Rachel, who winked almost imperceptibly at him. He definitely owed her one, he thought, as he returned the gesture.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

**********************************************

Okay, okay, shameless fluff!!! I couldn't help it! Clete muses were back, and I figured, fluff is better than nothing!

Thanks again to all my wonderful, loyal, patient readers, and I hope you enjoyed this!!!!

Alli xoxoxo

[Lilone]

about time Missy

So glad Luce is ok.

Yay Clete back together and GO Rachel lol

Update Soon

LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mrs Bishop]

Well welcme back stranger and about time too.

Lovely chapter very well written and clete is on the right track.

Up date soon cant get enough.

Looooooooovvvvveeeeeeeee reading this story.