I love music Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Very professionally written, Eli, particularly that beginning and little touches like this: Tina had been working late last night and knew about the cappuccino machine, and as a woman with respect for herself she didn’t want to scrub floors all morning, so she was quick to start taking orders out on the porch. Sorry this is a very short review but I didn't get in till late and need to get to bed soon (work tomorrow ). Very polished chapter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SfanS Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Thanks I wouldn't say there's an evil person... I mean, DeAnna is kind of a love/hate person but as you don't know her story yet I don't want to say too much about her. That goes for Wendy too, she's a pretty normal teenage girl, but she can do stupid things. I think it's really up to each and every one to decide who they like or not. I would understand if someone hates VJ for example after what he did to Pippa, but then again you might hate Pippa because of what she did to Wallace and VJ, and so goes for all the other characters. It depends how you look at it and which characters you like who becomes the "mean characters". And don't worry, it didn't sond stupid at all! I can't believe anyone liked that flashback-part, I think it was terribly bad written, and probably the worst part of this fic (so far) First of all: That is NOT true! I liked! Second: Thanks for that explanation, I manage to confuse myself over everything! Third: I think every teenager is evil, deep down. (I'll change that when I hit the teens!) *Shines halo* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Thanks for all the reviews and comments on the last chapter. Here's a new one, and you know I love response... Chapter 4 – The three most annoying things in the world The hallway with the stairs had just been painted and still had a sharp scent of wet paint. But the result was amazing, even Pippa who hadn’t liked the idea had to agree it made a huge difference, and really brightened up the room. ”I think that’s about everything downstairs,” Sally said, her face was still painted with a smile it looked like she had just stolen from a salesman, ”Let me show you your room.” Pippa couldn’t help rolling her eyes, no way she was getting that girl’s respect by playing nice and sweet no matter what she did. They went upstairs, and Sally opened the door to the empty bedroom. ”This is your new room, Laura,” she said, still smiling a bit too much for it to be realistic, ”I hope you like it.” ’Laura’ just scowled at her without showing any sign of appreciation at all. ”It’s Lauren,” she muttered before throwing her bag into a corner and slamming the door in Sally’s face. Pippa was just waiting for the explosion. She knew how Wendy wanted to be, and she had seen Johannah, so she was pretty sure she knew how Johannah was. Rebellious and looking for riot, just like Lauren had been when she came to Summer Bay. But Johannah was behaving absolutely perfect. She answered politely and seemed genuinely interested in Sally’s tour (which made Pippa absolutely sure something was wrong). No door slamming, no swearing and no scowling. Nothing at all. ”Well, We’ll just give you some time to unpack if you’d like?” Sally said when they had reached the room that was the end of the tour. ”Thank you, Ms. Fletcher,” Johannah replied sweetly, and smiled. Pippa could tell from the way Sally spoke that she too was a bit unsure about this almost perfect arrival. ”So...” Sally said, ”We’ll be downstairs if you need us.” ”Okay, thanks Ms. Fletcher.” Sally blushed, ”You can call me Sally,” she said and tried to cover the blushing with a smile. ”Seems like a very nice girl,” Richard said when they were back in the living room. Sally smiled her fake salesman-smile again. ”Yeah, absolutely,” she said. Richard kissed his wife and went to answer his phone. ”There’s something wrong here,” Sally said as soon as he was out of the room. Pippa nodded, ”Absolutely,” she said. ”I’ll think about it.” What a stupid thing to promise! Now he had to think about it on purpose, not just because he couldn’t get it out of his head. What was there really to think about? He had been gone for more than 20 years, and now he expected everything to be okay? Even thinking about his biological father made VJ angry. Vinnie had gone into witness protection when VJ was just a baby, pretending to have died in a fire to protect himself and his family from criminals looking for revenge. Leah had told him the story many times, but he always had to promise not to tell it to anyone else, because this was dangerous stuff. On the shelf above the TV Leah and Vinnie’s wedding picture was still standing, exactly where Leah had placed it when they moved in in the new house. But she had moved on. Even though she still loved him she had moved on, and this would just mess everything up again. ”So have you been thinking?” VJ turned around, he had realised ignoring and looking the other way didn’t work on Vinnie. The most annoying part of that was that he knew he would have reacted the exact same way; not giving up, and kept pushing until he got some attention, whether it was good or bad. ”Look, I don’t mean to push you...” VJ looked at his biological father. He knew he looked just like him, and right now that was the second most annoying thing in the world. The most annoying thing was that talking to Vinnie was like talking to himself. The same sense of humour, the same responses, the same way of telling things... ”I don’t know yet,” VJ replied, not looking at his face until he had finished the sentence, just to make sure he wouldn’t change his ind and do something stupid. Vinnie nodded. ”I see,” he said, ”take as long as you need...” He looked like he was about to leave. ”Can I just ask you a question?” VJ quickly asked before he had the time to change his mind and chicken out. ”Of course!” Vinnie said, and VJ could tell from the look on his face he was very happy to hear that his son suddenly had at least a tiny bit of interest in him. VJ swallowed, this felt almost like asking a girl to the school dance in 7th grade. ”Did you even think about Mum when you came back?!” Vinnie bit his lip and hesitated. ”I knew she didn’t live in the Bay anymore, if she did things would have been a lot different,” ”Things are a lot different,” VJ muttered. Vinnie pretended he hadn’t heard the last comment, and continued. ”Your mother and I have both moved on, I came back for different reasons.” ”What reasons?” VJ asked, regretting it the moment after. He knew what the answer would be, and he knew this would be very awkward. ”Well, you know...” Vinnie said, shrugging and digging in the sand with his foot. The way he looked down while doing these things made him seem like a five year old who had just been accused of stealing cookies before dinner. ”I came back for old friends... The job I got in Yabbie Creek... You...” VJ didn’t say anything, and neither did Vinnie for a long, awkward period of 30 seconds. ”I just want some kind of connection to you, you know what I mean?” Vinnie actually looked up when he broke the silence. ”We share the same blood,” VJ pointed out. It came out more sarcastically than it was supposed to. Vinnie smiled, ”I know,” he said, ”but I think you know what I mean.” VJ nodded, he knew what Vinnie was talking about. ”I just hope you don’t expect me to explain to Mum that you’re back,” he muttered after a while. Somehow Vinnie actually looked relieved. ”I was so worried you wanted to tell her,” he said, ”Because she already knows I’m back.” He said it like it was a good thing, but VJ just stared at him. ”What?” he said. Vinnie looked a bit uncomfortable, fully aware of the fact that he had said something wrong. ”I called your mother a week ago, right before I came back,” he said. That helped a little. For a moment VJ had thought Leah had known about it before he did. ”Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. Vinnie just shrugged again. ”I don’t know,” he said, ”I guess I wanted to leave Leah out of this for as long as possible.” No matter how much he hated it VJ had to admit that it had been a good thing. That really proved that he was here for other reasons than Leah. ”Look, I have to go,” VJ said, ”but...” For a split second he wanted to say ”I’ll see you later”. He bit his lip, just like Vinnie had done earlier. ”Yeah, me too...” Vinnie said, and turned around, ”I guess we’ll see each other again later...” He walked off, just after helping his son out of a tricky situation. VJ knew perfectly well that Vinnie only had said he had to go because he wanted his son to like him, and therefore he wanted to help him out of the awkward situation. Right now that was the third most annoying thing in the world. The Diner was crowded with people, and Johannah easily disappeared in the crowd. It had been a good first day, but she had a feeling Pippa knew she was hiding something. That thought made her want to throw up in her milkshake, but because she didn’t have any money to buy a new one she decided not to. ”Hi Johannah!” It was the girl VJ had been going out with. The girl Sally didn’t like. Diana Phillips or something. ”Hi...” Johannah replied. What was it with all the people in Summer Bay saying hello to people they didn’t know?! ”Do you mind if I sit down?” ”Sure,” Johannah muttered, and DeAnna sat down. ”I haven’t introduced myself, my name is DeAnna Phillips...” she began. ”I know,” Johannah said, even though it wasn’t true, ”May I help you?” DeAnna gave up the nice and friendly image, and turned into something between a businesswoman and a drugdealer threatening a junkie for money. ”I know about your secret,” she simply said. It was in situations like this VJ really wished he had been with Pippa. He wanted to badly to talk to someone. But Pippa was still mad, and DeAnna... well, she wasn’t really that kind of person. None of his mates would understand, and he didn’t want to involve Leah... VJ picked up his phone and dialled a number to the City. ”Hello?” A man picked up, and VJ took a deep breath. ”Hi Dan,” he said, ”Can I talk to you about something?” Johannah dropped her milkshake. ”WHAT?!” DeAnna smiled satisfied, obviously the reaction she had been hoping for. ”I know about your secret,” she repeated, still smiling, ”But I’m willing to keep it. On one condition...” Johannah looked terrified up at her, this was just horrible, if DeAnna really knew her secret... ”What condition,” she asked, trying not to sound scared. ”I have a secret too,” DeAnna said, ”And I’m willing to shut up about your secret if you help me with mine...” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 ”I know,” Johannah said, even though it wasn’t true, ”May I help you?” DeAnna gave up the nice and friendly image, and turned into something between a businesswoman and a drugdealer threatening a junkie for money. ”I know about your secret,” she simply said. That’s great, Eli. Fantastic description and brilliant drama in that last line. ”I have a secret too,” DeAnna said, ”And I’m willing to shut up about your secret if you help me with mine...” ! Intriguing ending... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SfanS Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 Nice Eli...very, very nice. Have I told you I like secrets? ”This is your new room, Laura,” she said, still smiling a bit too much for it to be realistic, ”I hope you like it.” ’Laura’ just scowled at her without showing any sign of appreciation at all. ”It’s Lauren,” she muttered before throwing her bag into a corner and slamming the door in Sally’s face. Okay, okay, I'll say it. Bi***!!!! What a horrible evil....THING! After Sally was so nice to her, too. I don't blame Pippa for being a bit suspicious of Jo! Sally blushed, ”You can call me Sally,” she said and tried to cover the blushing with a smile. LOL!!! Was that supposed to be funny....oh well, I laugh at anything.... It was the girl VJ had been going out with. The girl Sally didn’t like. Diana Phillips or something. I love it when people get other people's names muddled up. And there were 2 lots in this chapter! Nicely done, Eli. And, for the record, Sarah doesn't really like her either. But she had moved on. Even though she still loved him she had moved on, and this would just mess everything up again. That's the Drama que. I think they should have something like this in future years. It would be quite a twist. ”I have a secret too,” DeAnna said, ”And I’m willing to shut up about your secret if you help me with mine...” I like the sound of this... Something to do with VJ....? Great chapter, all in all! More, please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 19, 2007 Report Share Posted January 19, 2007 Thanks for the reviews, they mean a lot Here's chapter 5 for you Chapter 5 – The choices we make For the billionth time Johannah rolled over in bed. It was four o’clock in the morning, and she had given up sleeping a long time ago. DeAnna really knew her secret! She had even told her what she knew to make it clear that this wasn’t just some silly joke. She knew the entire story, and now she was actually planning on spreading it around if Johannah didn’t keep her part of the deal. It had been quite a dilemma, but Johannah didn’t really have much of a choice; if she didn’t help her out Johannah would tell the world a secret that had to remain a secret. But there were risks about helping DeAnna too. Even though her instructions hadn’t exactly been breaking in to a bank and kidnap the manager this could be dangerous too. If she wasn’t very careful she would be busted and confronted. A confrontation would mean either telling the truth about DeAnna or refusing to say anything and get punished for that. Either way DeAnna wouldn’t hesitate to reveal her dark secret. No villain could remember a morning without anyone going for an early run at the beach. But of course, the people who were running changed. Some moved away, some stopped running, some even died. But they were soon replaced by new people running just to stay in shape, because it was tradition or because it gave them time to think. Vinnie Patterson ran for all three reasons. Now, running hadn’t been a tradition for more than 20 years, but it still felt good to run on the moist sand in the morning before the sunshine really kicked in. After 20 years he wasn’t in the good shape he used to be of course, and there was no point in hiding the fact that he had become 20 years older, but he was getting better every day and it felt wonderful. Like usual Vinnie wasn’t the only man running at the beach. A male his own age was just a hundred feet in front of him, running towards him. There was something familiar about him, Vinnie noticed as they got closer to each other. And as he was thinking about this he saw something in the man’s face too. Recognition. He could see in his eyes that he was a good bloke. It was better this way. If they had known the truth they would all have put on a little extra perfection to impress, especially this guy. But he treated his princess as a real prince. The look in her eyes when he kissed her... It was better this way, for all of them. ”Excuse me?” Vinnie asked, just when the man was about to pass by, still looking like he knew they had met somewhere but just couldn’t figure out where and when. The man stopped and turned around. Vinnie took a deep breath. ”Dan Baker, right?” Most days teachers were a pain, and that was why Johannah didn’t bother showing up to school, but she had stopped skipping it now because of Sally. She had to stay on Sally’s good side for as long as possible, especially now that DeAnna had given her the instructions. But sometimes you are lucky and get a golder opportunity served to you on a silver plate. Today was one of these days. ”Come on girls, you can do better!” Mrs. Wood shouted, ”Don’t let the guys beat you!” She was supposed to equal the teams, but there was no secret Mrs. Wood believed in women being the stronger sex, and that was why she always pushed them more than the guys in gym class. Johannah wasn’t a born athlete. The volleyball just seemed to pop into another direction when she tried to hit it over the net. ”Okay, that’s enough. Good job everyone.” Mrs. Wood finally blew the whistle and signalised that it was time to hit the shower. ”Especially you.” She turned around to Izzy Porter, the most athletic girl in the class. Johannah hated her, and was about to hurry as far away from her as possible when she heard it. ”...Almost as good as one of my former students, Kirsty Sutherland...” Sutherland. That was DeAnna’s mother’s birth name. Mrs. Wood was pretty old for a top athlete like she was, so it was possible that she could have been at the school twenty years ago. It looked like the conversation between her and Izzy was over, and Johannah didn’t want to show that she had been listening, so she didn’t ask about Kirsty. But she got an idea, an idea that could really help her get started on DeAnna’s instructions. An idea that couldn’t go wrong... If Dan hadn’t been prepared he didn’t know how he would have reacted. The whole situation was absurd, but he had been thinking about it and figuring out how to deal with it. Both Leah and Vinnie claimed they were over each other, and after 22 years of marriage he trusted Leah, so there was no reason to feel threatened. Also he had to do this for VJ. VJ was like a son to him, and he knew he was like a father to VJ. The poor guy had to be going crazy with everything going on. Especially considering that he had called and asked him to come, something he’d never normally do. VJ had told him everything about how confused he was, and Dan had listened. Now it was time for the tricky part; talking to Vinnie. They had met at the beach, but that hadn’t been the right time or place to talk about something like this, so after some awkward chatting they had decided to meet later. Vinnie had invited Dan to his motel room, and the invitation had cracked the situation up a bit as Vinnie pointed out the last time he had said that to someone had been after a school dance when he was seventeen. But the good atmosphere from the joke was long gone, it was time to talk about VJ. It was almost time to close the diner, and because there were no customers (or Stephen) around VJ considered closing up earlier than he was supposed to. It had been a long day, even with the new cappuccino machine behaving perfectly well. Wendy was still a pain working with, and Tina kept babbling about her new boyfriend. Not that VJ didn’t like the fact that Tina had a boyfriend, but it was a painful reminder of the fact that he used to have a girlfriend, or as Alex so generously had pointed out to him; two girlfriends. He was just shutting down the cappuccino machine when he heard someone enter the diner. Shoot, it was probably someone with intentions to stay until it was closing time, and don’t leave a minute earlier. VJ turned around, trying to put on a smile for this last, sucky customer of the day. It was worse. It was Pippa. There was a very awkward silence. They just looked at each other for a few seconds. It was pretty obvious that she hadn’t been expecting to be all alone with him in the diner. ”Eh... Could I have a coffee, please?” she muttered, blushing and without looking at him. ”Yeah! Yeah! Absolutely!” VJ replied, he sounded like he was replying to a proposal, ”I’ll make you a big coffee right now, it won’t take long at all, just gonna go over here and...” He realised how stupid this sounded and turned away quickly, blushing and looking like a roasted tomato. None of them said anything while VJ made the quickest cup of coffee he had ever made. ”Here you go!” he announced, almost spilling the coffee all over her in the eager to give her the cup and break up the awkwardness. ”Thanks,” Pippa mumbled, still not looking at him. VJ coughed, and Pippa looked up. ”I...” she said, and her expression was different now, ”I heard about your... father... or, you know... biological father...” ”Oh. Yeah, okay,” VJ replied. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why couldn’t he think about anything better to say? Here he was, standing in front of the woman he loved, and she was actually showing him support after being mad at him for weeks, and all he could come up with was ”Oh. Yeah, okay”?!!¨ ”I’m really sorry to... Erm, I mean your father – biological father – if you don’t like... If you didn’t want him to –” ”It’s okay,” VJ replied to free Pippa from her awkward mess of a sentence, ”Thanks...” Pippa smiled at him. Not a big happy smile, but a small, gentle smile. ”Erm... I should probably go,” she muttered, and turned around. Right before she went out of the door she turned around. ”I’ll see you later,” she said, and sent him one more, small smile. VJ didn’t even get the chance to reply before she left him shocked behind the counter. He would see her later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted January 19, 2007 Report Share Posted January 19, 2007 Loving this! I don't know many People who can write successful Sequels, the few I have only on here, but this one is one of the Best! ”I have a secret too,” DeAnna said, ”And I’m willing to shut up about your secret if you help me with mine...” I loved that line, I can see a Storyline building up there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Thanks for nice comments and reviews, and sorry that it took me so long to update! With all the schoolwork lately I have been in kind of a writers block the few moments I haven't been busy. Chapter 6 - Father, father People sometimes have a lot more in common than they think they do. If you look closer you will find links between almost everyone. Pippa and VJ had discussed the fact that they had been given birth to by the same woman when they first started going out together. That was a long time ago, and they were still both cool with the decision that it didn't matter. Pippa was Sally and Flynn's daughter, VJ was Vinnie and Leah's son. It was just another thing they happened to have in common that they had been carried by the same woman for nine months. Of course they didn't talk much about it. There was no need to broadcast the news for the people who didn't know, and because some people would find it inappropriate there was no need to provoke them with things they didn't need to know. VJ crashed down on the couch. Even though things seemed to be a little better between him and Pippa he felt exhausted. He couldn't get Vinnie out of his head. Dan and Vinnie had talked, and Dan had told him about it afterwards when he had asked. It had gone well, and Dan had told him that his impression of Vinnie was great. There was no rush, and the reason why he came back was the only hope that had been keeping him going through the rough years of witness protection. This statement had - whether he liked it or not - made VJ's heart ache a little. Scared of these sudden feelings taking control and making him make decision out of sentimentality. So it was right back on with the tough face. "Well, I guess all those years of hoping was a waste of time then," he had muttered darkly. "Don't say that," Dan replied, "He's your father." "You're my father," VJ muttered back, realising he sounded like a moody four year old. Dan smiled. "You know you're like a son to me too, VJ," he said, "But don't you want to know your real father? Haven't you ever missed him?" VJ thought for a second and swallowed. "No," he said, "how can I miss something I never had?" "You know what," Pippa said to her mother and closed the book, "If I had half of the diseases I have symptoms of I would have been dead by now." "Don't worry," Sally laughed, "First year medical students -" "Always think they're ill because when they read the books they realise the have so many symptoms, yeah yeah..." Sally frowned. Pippa had been in a bad mood for such a long time. She had been pretty sure the disease thing had been supposed to be a joke, and just because she bothered to actually answer it with some serious information Pippa's mood went from bad to worse. "Flynn would have been so proud of you if he could see you now, in medical school and everything..." Sally said quietly. Pippa just looked at her for a split second. "Well, still plenty of time to fail and flunk out," she muttered. "Oh, you'll make it," Sally continued to encourage, and sat down next to her daughter, "You'll be just as good a doctor as your father was." "Sure, whatever," Pippa muttered, giving Sally a flashback to the time when Pippa was 13 and was strictly forbidden to drink alcohol at a party. "I still miss him," she sighed, ignoring Pippa's ignorant response. Pippa didn't say anything. "You miss him to, right?" Sally said, the silence made her insecure. "Whatever," Pippa replied, shrugging. "You do miss him, right?" Sally said, sounding a lot angrier now, "Pippa, he was your father!" "I don't even remember him!" Pippa almost shouted, and got up. "He was still your father! No matter what you say, he was your dad! You have to miss your dad!" Pippa stared at her with the same cold, empty expression she used to have these days. "How can I miss something I never had?" she said, and quickly turned around. She opened the door and left the house. Mostly because she wanted to end the situation, but also because she had to get away from Flynn's intense eyes, staring at her from a 22 year old family photo. Something so incredibly rude! He had given her life, and she didn't even have the manners to tell people she missed him! Sally was angry and sad at the same time. She loved Richard of course, but she would always love Flynn to, nothing could ever change that. "Umm... Hi, do you have a minute?" Johannah was standing in the door, looking at her. "Oh, hi Jo. I didn't see you. Sure I have a minute!" Sally tried to cover that she wasn't okay, but good at reading people as she was, Johannah knew she wasn't okay. She had come to talk about going away for the weekend, but all that was sacrificed now. Sally was weak and off guard, this could be her golden opportunity! "I'm writing an essay on heroes from Summer Bay," she lied, trying to remember everything Mrs. Wood had said in PE, "And I was thinking about writing about one of the former students at Summer Bay high...." "Oh really? Who?" Sally tried to sound excited, but she couldn't get Pippa's words out of her head. "Kirsty Phillips," Johannah quickly replied, knowing this could be her best chance ever. Luckily for her Sally had too much to worry about to become suspicious. For one hour she told Johannah Kirsty Sutherland Phillips's entire life story. It was a bit awkward, but he felt like he had to. "Are you okay?" He could tell from the moment Pippa turned her head and he could see her red and swollen eyes that she wasn't okay. She didn't reply, and suddenly VJ forgot everything about awkwardness and their fight. "Hey, hey, have you been crying?" he said, and sat down next to her. Pippa nodded. "Wanna talk about it?" he said. She didn't reply this time either, but he got his answer. Instead of talking about it Pippa broke down and cried in his arms for a long time. He was maybe the only one who would ever understand. "Where have you been?!" Sally had had time to get herself together, and now she was ready to tell her daughter exactly what she was thinking. "The beach, but look, Mom-" "You had no right to say that whatsoever," Sally said, sounding just as angry as she was, "Flynn loved you every single day of your life while he was still alive, and he still loves you! If you that means nothing to you, then- then-" "Do you really think that I don't miss him every single day of my life?!" Pippa shouted, angry and sad tears streaming down her face, "do you really think that I don't think about him every day, and wonder how things would have been like if he was still alive?!" Sally shook her head angrily. "Then how," she said, "can you look me in the eyes and tell him you don't miss him?!" Pippa broke down, and suddenly Sally felt like Pippa was just a small girl again, crying because the other kids in pre-school had daddies, and she didn't. "Because it's too damn hard if we're gonna have to talk about him all the time," she said, crying like a baby. "Medical school, VJ, the kidnapper still being out there, I have too much to worry about, and I can't take anymore! I just need people to stop pushing me to talk!" She covered her eyes and sobbed loudly. Sally tried to put her arm around her daughter, but Pippa broke out of her grip. "Don't!" she said, "I have to go!" And with one last, quick look at the old family picture she ran out of the house, heading for the only person who would ever truly understand her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 Some great descriptions in those last couple of chapters, Eli! Now, running hadn’t been a tradition for more than 20 years, but it still felt good to run on the moist sand in the morning before the sunshine really kicked in. He could see in his eyes that he was a good bloke. It was better this way. If they had known the truth they would all have put on a little extra perfection to impress, especially this guy. But he treated his princess as a real prince. The look in her eyes when he kissed her... It was better this way, for all of them. "You're my father," VJ muttered back, realising he sounded like a moody four year old. Mostly because she wanted to end the situation, but also because she had to get away from Flynn's intense eyes, staring at her from a 22 year old family photo. *** ”...Almost as good as one of my former students, Kirsty Sutherland...” Sutherland. That was DeAnna’s mother’s birth name. Mrs. Wood was pretty old for a top athlete like she was, so it was possible that she could have been at the school twenty years ago. "I'm writing an essay on heroes from Summer Bay," she lied, trying to remember everything Mrs. Wood had said in PE, "And I was thinking about writing about one of the former students at Summer Bay high...." "Oh really? Who?" Sally tried to sound excited, but she couldn't get Pippa's words out of her head. "Kirsty Phillips," Johannah quickly replied Ooh, devious! I wouldn't have thought of doing that! People sometimes have a lot more in common than they think they do. If you look closer you will find links between almost everyone. Just loved that! It sounded like the intro to a Twilight Zone episode! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SfanS Posted February 4, 2007 Report Share Posted February 4, 2007 Pippa and VJ had discussed the fact that they had been given birth to by the same woman when they first started going out together. That was a long time ago, and they were still both cool with the decision that it didn't matter. I get that and all, but at the same time, I find that a bit freaky. VJ crashed down on the couch. If you take that literally, you get a really funny mental picture... VJ thought for a second and swallowed. "No," he said, "how can I miss something I never had?" Aww, that was sad "Well, still plenty of time to fail and flunk out," she muttered. What a teenager! ' People sometimes have a lot more in common than they think they do. If you look closer you will find links between almost everyone. It was a bit awkward, but he felt like he had to. "Are you okay?" He could tell from the moment Pippa turned her head and he could see her red and swollen eyes that she wasn't okay. She didn't reply, and suddenly VJ forgot everything about awkwardness and their fight. "Hey, hey, have you been crying?" he said, and sat down next to her. Pippa nodded. "Wanna talk about it?" he said. She didn't reply this time either, but he got his answer. Instead of talking about it Pippa broke down and cried in his arms for a long time. He was maybe the only one who would ever understand. Awww.... I was hoping from the intro. that there would be a moment like that...that was really sweet. "Do you really think that I don't miss him every single day of my life?!" Pippa shouted, angry and sad tears streaming down her face, "do you really think that I don't think about him every day, and wonder how things would have been like if he was still alive?!" That was such a powerful moment. "Then how," she said, "can you look me in the eyes and tell him you don't miss him?!" Pippa broke down, and suddenly Sally felt like Pippa was just a small girl again, crying because the other kids in pre-school had daddies, and she didn't. THat was a really good description, Eli! And with one last, quick look at the old family picture she ran out of the house, heading for the only person who would ever truly understand her. Brilliant ending! Can't wait for more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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