I love music Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 ”Did I understand you right when you said you wanted to be moved to Summer Bay?” she said. ”Yes,” Johannah replied, ”The sooner the better.” ”Well I have a late Christmas present for you,” Mrs Jared said, ”we have a foster family in Summer Bay willing to take you and another girl in the end of January…” I actually forgot I was reading a fanfic here and thought I was watching it on the TV! Very crisp dialogue. He didn’t need to, the wind blew from west and he could smell her sweet perfume. That's beautiful, Eli. Made me smile. Okay, just a small criticism. With there being so many characters in this fic, you need to occasionally remind people who's who. I'd totally forgotten who Johanna was, for instance, and had to go back to the beginning to check. A brief explanation would have helped. Great chapter otherwise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 Thanks I can see what you mean by that, I know I have too many characters, because I forget writing about some of them (like Jason) and they just become someone I mention every once in a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 I have set a date for the first chapter of "Closer each day": Monday January 1st 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 [As I said earlier my new fic "Closer each day" will pick up where "The next moves" left off, Eli Phew! I thought for a minute you were ending in the middle of the story! Looking forward to the update, Eli. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 Don't worry I will just cut off some of the storylines and maybe pick them up later, because right now I feel like there's too many storylines and characters, but I will keep the VJ and Pippa storyline, the Johannah storyline, the caller storyline and there will be more about DeAnna, including an explanation to all the questions... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skykat Posted December 25, 2006 Report Share Posted December 25, 2006 Topic moved by request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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